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500 headlines found matching 'par'
Wed August 24, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
You'd screw your face up into a snarl too, if you were being defended by an ex-felon "volunteer paralegal"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
CSU paying people over $1,000 to inhale smoke as part of...hey wait, come back, it's about wood burning stoves
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Italian officials prepare subpoenas for local geologists
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 23, 2016
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Tesla now offering $20,000 Super Ludicrous mode upgrade, making it good for 0-60 in 2.5 seconds, which is on par with a high-end Ferrari. 2.5 seconds is also the exact amount of time it takes to get beamed through space with your ass on backward
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cult of Mac)
 
 
 
Galaxy Note 7 is packed with the latest and greatest tech. Too bad it gets smoked by the comparatively ancient iPhone 6s
source: cultofmac.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The guy at the Trump rally wearing a "Trump Is A Child Rapist" shirt is A) a BernieBro, B) a Black Lives Matter bro, C) a Travis County Republican party chairman bro
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
BBC polls 177 film critics from across the globe. Comes up with the top 100 films of the century so far. Subby really needs to spend less time watching Trailer Park Boys
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A full list of Trump's changing policy positions. Since this is less than 2389 pages long, it's really more a partial list
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Patriot feels "ashamed" because school acknowledges her and other parents' 1st Amendment rights in writing
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
British MP tweets an image from a parallel universe celebrating the British Empire's 396 gold medals from the 2016 Olympics. Hilarity ensues
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedState)
 
 
 
Trump threatening to sue the Daily Fail. Hopefully the judge will order both parties to be dropped in a volcano
source: redstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Angry man takes chainsaw to neighbor's tree, sends it crashing into his own apartment building
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
He chose . . . parkourly
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 22, 2016
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police are searching for a relic, hat was stolen from a San Francisco church: a piece of wood dated to 325 AD that is believed to be part of the "true cross" t. 325 AD? Either it ain't the real thing or Jesus was a LOT older than the Gospels claim
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
More than 50% of Olympians had dental problems. Which is understandable after wearing a pair of Speedos all day and not wanting to even think about subjecting another body part to being flossed
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Minor league baseball player hits grand slam - and the ball smashes the windshield of his own truck in the parking lot
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Memo to gun owners, don't put your spare bullets in the car charger. Oh, and responsible gun owners don't let their toddlers play with bullets
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
People who parrot their child's baby talk back at them are doing a disservice to linguistic development
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Hello, 911? Yeah, I'm 15, and my parents took me to a cottage for a family vacation. Help? Pardon? What are 'first world problems'?"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
For those of you who love unplugging and getting back to nature in the great outdoors but still need your plate of prime rib and martini in the evening, here are some of the five-star restaurants found in our National Parks
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Recent upsurge in kids having sex and taking drugs in UK park is blamed on... (activates current trend generator)... Pokestops
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 21, 2016
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
It has not been a good month for amusement parks
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Ben-Hur proves to be a disast-hur, debuting at #5 with $11 million. For the third week, DC's messy, forgettable Suicide Squad is #1 with $20 million, Sausage Party #3 with $15 million. War Dogs debuted at #3 with $14 million, Kubo #4 with $12 million
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ever wonder about the story behind Central Park's 3,466-year-old, 238-ton Egyptian obelisk?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Tea Party talk show host and failed politician busted for crystal meth trafficking in the most Alabama story you'll read today
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 20, 2016
(UPI)
 
 
 
A new study shows the hybrid atom-ion trap cooling method yields nonequilibrium behavior, which is a major departure from the laws of thermodynamics, obviously
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Cool: Walk off win. Cooler: Walk off home run. Coolest: Walk off inside the park home run. Fark: 2nd walk off in a row for the same rookie and first walk off inside the park home run for the team since 1916
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
And let's look at the Green Party's vice-presidential candidate.... Oh, dear
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Problem: You've just been released from the hospital, but it's too late to catch a bus. Solution: Just hop in the ambulance parked out front and drive yourself home
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Apparently getting a pass for 'mishandling classified information' only works if your name is Hillary Clinton
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What happens when a wedding party and a llama convention collide
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
How's that maternal death rate working out for you Texas since you slashed funds for Planned Parenthood and women's health programs?
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 19, 2016
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Are some parts of the Universe younger than others? Some fun quirks of relativity
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
In latest sign of the times, foreign politicians are insulting each other by comparing their opponents to Trump
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Italian TV chef sparks outrage by tirade against vegans, says he would 'kill them all,' prompting terror from those who remember Rachel Ray's campaign of slaughter against the Bolivians
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Half of UK parents allow children to drink alcohol at home. The other half prefer their kids drink down to the pub
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In international news, Vladimir Putin's new chief of staff is apparently the Time Cube guy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Malia Obama 'attends wild party in Martha's Vineyard and is rushed out by the Secret Service as cops shut it down'. It seems she is trying to outdo the Bush twins
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Gov. of Louisiana: Mr. Trump we are a bit too busy saving people right now to have time to deal with a campaign photo-op; If you want to help how about writing a check to a relief charity? Trump: We're on our way, do you have valet jet parking?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dear advice columnist: I love throwing dinner parties, but I'm too cheap and self-righteous of an asshole to buy alcohol. How do I tell them that it's BYOB without sounding, you know, like a cheap and self-righteous asshole?
source: live.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
House Republicans prepare tough case for new round of pointless hearings. Expect indictment to come any day now. Any. Day...ah screw it, it's not even funny anymore
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You may want to rethink your criteria for choosing friends when your best man fails to book flights and accommodation for the stag party, pockets the money and pretends to have terminal cancer. Bonus: you don't find out until you're at the airport
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Apparently Trump wanted his personal ball washer to be with him during the FBI's intel briefing this week
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Asshat caught on video kicking girlfriend unconscious in parking lot says he's the victim
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Nervous Florida GOP Congressmen have discovered that partisan obstructionism is all fun and games until somebody gets the Zika virus
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Apparently, George Lucas has entered into his second career as professional wedding photographer
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Trump fans at rally don't believe in the polls because his rallies are yuge. Of course, this particular rally was two thirds empty but the polls are fake because... oh please stop asking questions
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 18, 2016
(Get Surrey)
 
 
 
You can't make all your problems go away by having your husband phone people and tell them you just got killed in a car wreck, particularly if one of your problems is that you're going to prison
source: getsurrey.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The hosts of Fox and Friends apparently believe that wearing glasses, as Hillary now does, is "a sign of brain damage." Though, in their defense, they have had to interact with Rick Perry a lot, so you can see how they'd think that
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
On this date in 1587, first child born in America to English parents. Birth certificate and the rest of the Roanoke colony disappear shortly thereafter
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Chris Hansen is coming back to arrest more men who only want to help teenagers with their homework, or to just party a little bit, or who were at the wrong address (oops), or thought she said 33, not 13, etc
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Allen West)
 
 
 
A history lesson about the Democrat Party and its relationship with the black community in America. It's not just that Hillary Clinton individually is a bigot, it's that the Democrat Party has ALWAYS embraced bigotry towards American blacks
source: allenbwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
American Apparel is looking to move their factory out of California, citing high taxes and high costs
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You think you've gotten the full effect of "The McLaughlin Group" without seeing it parodied on SNL? WRONG
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Big Data e-learning bundle: Hive, Hadoop, Spark, Pig, Cassandra, Oozie, Flume, Sqoop. Big Data πακέτο e-learning: Hive, Hadoop, Spark, Χοιρινά, Κασσάνδρα, Oozie, ρέμα, Sqoop. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Making sushi requires years of learning the delicate art, and hours of preparation, and ultimately artful presentation. Or hire a robot to do it in seconds
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Cruise the no-longer-frozen northwest passage in ritzy style. However, be prepared to be shamed by a journalist or two for contributing to the ruination of the pristine environment
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 17, 2016
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Lee Harvey Oswald birthday party planned for NOLA
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Russian Foreign Minister believes Americans are paranoid about Russians, speculate on Cold War instincts and can never stop
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Joseph Goebbels' 105-year-old secretary describes the Fark Party that took place in the final days of Hitler's bunker
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Shark literally takes its face apart to eat
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The summer Amusement Park assault on children continues as six children get a jolt from The Scrambler
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
Great now you've pissed off your progressive base with your huge push of the Trans-Pacific Partnership deal. Thanks, Obama
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Don't like the Judge's parental visitation order? Step 1: File to personally replace the Judge by running as a write-in candidate for his job. Step 2: File to have the Judge removed from the case due to the conflict of interest you just created
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
MLB is spending over $100 million to develop baseball in China, and it's stalled until their local developer liaison forms "partnership" with Chinese government, which perceives sport as more boring and less fruitful than basketball or soccer
source: english.caixin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 16, 2016
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
If we ever need another Berlin Airlift, be sure to only send over vegan food, as over 80,000 Berliners are vegans. "Being vegan is no longer an abstemious practice for a few fundamentalist animal-lovers, but part of hedonistic event culture"
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
With more people living in compact sized homes, the average puppy size has now declined by 12%. Apparently it was a matter of survival for dogs with homes getting smaller and their owners getting bigger
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"The lobotomy of patient H.M." A story about history, brain research, and preparing regular people to become politicians
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently Kevin Smith's movies are so bad it justifies attacking his daughter
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
In Japan, Pokémon Go matchmaking parties are now a thing to get singles to mix based on their shared love of catching them all. "Everyone will gather for drinks after the hunt for Pokémon comes to an end"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Apparently the "Michael Phelps Stretch" is a big deal in China, singles bars
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
State Department to turn over Clinton emails, so we can find out how much there is to say about yoga
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ivanka Trump on super rich Democrat David Geffen's boat. Your task -- find a way to link this scene to Vladimir Putin in fewer than six degrees of separation
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Apparently it runs in the Family: Donald Trump's cunning plan to defeat ISIS seems to have been cribbed from the strategy being employed by one B.H. Obama. Well, who would know better how to defeat ISIS than its founder?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Couple planning Game of Thrones-themed wedding, apparently has never seen a Game of Thrones wedding scene
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Learn Linux - course designed to prepare you for the CompTIA Linux+ Certification Exam. Kill Daemons, avoid zombies, and play with package managers. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Employee gets into a fight with a monkey in a Walmart parking lot
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
ISIS fighters are using 'Islam for Dummies' to prepare for jihad. Seems appropriate
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 15, 2016
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Father credits "divine intervention" for sparing his toddler's life from mountain lion's hunger. Unknown why divine intervention didn't prevent the attack in the first place. Bonus: dad's name
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Republicans Are Wrong to Blame ISIS's Rise on Obama's Iraq Policy, says a publication from apparently, a parallel universe
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Showing he has his boss' knack from not knowing when to leave bad enough alone, Trump's NY campaign Co-chair says"that Trump does not have to respect or refer to Khizr Khan as a "Gold Star parent" because he is "a member of the Muslim Brotherhood"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thirty Louisiana parishes to be declared flood disasters. Rest of the parishes to continue as just disasters
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NJ appellate court reaffirms ruling that there is no law against your parents being dicks, and their money is THEIR money and so they can leave it to whoever the hell they want for whatever reason they want when making out their will
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You know your campaign's in trouble when leaders in your own party start turning on you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Seth Rogen wants to see a sequel to Sausage Party. Hell, as long as it keeps him from trying to make a Pineapple Express sequel keep it going
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Exercise may ease the symptoms of schizophrenia, the fear of having a workout partner
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
Confucius say... Man with unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 14, 2016
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
You've heard the rumors, now here are the numbers: More adult Americans live with their parents and grandparents than any time in history. Welcome to the world of multigenerational households
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop gets a call about a 7-year-old Ohio boy trying to sell his teddy bear for food, so he buys the kid lunch, listens to his story, and saves the child and his siblings from uncaring parents who were then arrested for child neglect. Tag is for the cop
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Millennials are apparently quite unhappy with their choices, say they probably won't even vote. Just like about every other political youth movement before them
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Misogynistic mess Suicide Squad sinks to $44 million in its second weekend, hanging on to #1 while Sausage Party brings home $32 million, a record for an R-rated cartoon. Pete's Dragon is soft at #3 with $20 million, Nine Lives thudding to #9
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Apparently, Dakota Johnson has a pane in her ass
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man leaves his car with parking attendant, returns to discover it has been taken for a joyride. If only there were some movie reference to complement this story
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Universe Today)
 
 
 
Cool Earth-sized exoplanet discovered in a "Goldilocks Zone" orbit around its sun. Holy farking shiat: the star in question is Proxima Centauri, which is a mere 4.25 light years from earth. Well, if nothing else, we may have a "spare" now
source: universetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 13, 2016
(Medical Jane)
 
 
 
A recent study showed that a very low dose of THC (the psychoactive part of cannabis) limits damage from a subsequent heart attack. Well, in mice anyway. It also made the mice eat large quantities of Cheetos
source: medicaljane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Want to find a way to gorge yourself silly before summer's out? Here is a list of food to try at every MLB ball park, where even cauliflower makes the list
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
The CW is showing a parade we actually want to see
source: radiotvtalk.blog.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cops respond to emergency call reporting "paranormal activities" inside house, witness lights flashing, clothes flying around the room and see dog on top of a hedge. Surprisingly, not a promotion for The Conjuring 3
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Parents go nuts after someone smeared peanut butter all over a playground, raising concern their precious snowflakes could be allergic
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's lights out for the Main Street Electrical Parade at Disney World
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Apparently, Donald Trump would be wildly ahead in all the polls and preparing for a Reagenesque landslide victory if it weren't for those meddlesome reporters and their media overlords
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How did American politics get insane? Hear me out. Its because we have less pork, less earmarks, less backroom negotiations, and less party machine wheeling and dealing
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Does your DNA code prove you're part alien? See which extraterrestrial race you most connect with
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 12, 2016
(UPI)
 
 
 
'Nosulus Rift' fart-smelling virtual reality unit crafted for 'South Park' video game - because of course it was
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
Video
 
The 1900 Paris Olympic Games had the most bizarre events imaginable
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
An over-sized rubber duck stolen from a New Hampshire home five years ago has returned...but not before the family received postcards and pictures from all over the world with the duck partying
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Evan McMullin's 3rd party bid has already missed filing deadlines for 26 states, and has until today to get 178,000 signatures in California
source: conservativereview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book Resources)
 
 
 
The worst things Lex Luthor has ever done, including curing his sister's paraplegia just long enough to reverse it and blackmail her with the cure. And that's not even number 1
source: comicbookresources.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
U.S. Olympic handball coach says LeBron James could be the world's best in just six months. Which is a great idea except for the part where he loses half a year in the NBA and $22.9 million in salary
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Meet Dr. Jane Orient, the Tea Party doctor responsible for the conservative media's "concerns" about Hillary Clinton's health
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
After taking on parking fines, robo lawyer is now tackling homelessness, finding Sarah Connor
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If you live in Fiji and expect anything to get accomplished today, we've got some bad news for you: chances are the only reason the country isn't completely hungover is that half of them (at least) are still partying
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AccuWeather)
 
 
 
The Perseid meteor shower sucked. Wasted the goddam night, drunk, floating in the pool, looking up at the sky, and saw NOTHING. OK, the floating and drunk parts weren't so bad
source: accuweather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Quebec's maple syrup cartel increases quotas to prevent black-market sales. In other news, there's apparently a maple syrup cartel
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Georgia golf community, 25 year old man yelled "fore" then shot his grandparents. He then tried to play through the cops
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
More fallout from the crackup of the Republican party - David Brooks now thinks we should be hippies and live communally
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Astronomers' never-ending search for answers leads them to study nothing in particular
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Let's all party like it's 1999 Uh, I don't think that turned out so well for most folks unless they were a Clinton or a Bush
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
New bar features 'beer wall' with 20 rotating taps, craft beers that you can pour on your own. This obviously calls for a Fark party
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 11, 2016
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
EV companies are mad that part of VWs punishment is to spend billions in making EVs more affordable and accessible
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Water park cancels burkini day
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona Department of Corrections to award-winning teacher: Go have breast cancer somewhere else, without insurance
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Green Party adopts a platform supporting sanctions against Israel
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Man charged with misdemeanor in double shooting. Apparently in Virginia, a chainsaw attack only qualifies for a brisk 'tut, tut' and gutting someone with a riding lawnmower only gives you two points on your driver's license
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Firefighters search for multiple missing people after huge explosion rips through an apartment building in suburb of DC. One question, why was Starsky there?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Macy's announces closure of another 100 stores. Thanksgiving Day parade cut back to one child holding a Snoopy balloon
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
Pardon me as I collect myself. I just caught some photos of Ann Margret in her prime and she done took my breath away. So, what were we talking about again? Some such about Hillary and Trump?
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Planning on enjoying the Perseids tonight? Its parent comet may come back to kill us, with 28 times the power of the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Kennedy, former MTV veejay and current Fox News mindless one, tells celebrities to "Eat a bag of Dixie" for criticizing Donald Trump, then compares the end of discrimination to ethnic cleansing and genocide
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today, we examine all of the preparations and excuses Donald Trump has for when he loses the election in November
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 10, 2016
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Italian lawmaker proposes jailing parents who force their children to eat vegan, including those whose religion requires veganism. Bill suggests one-year sentence to start with, and six years if their kid dies
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"China is a big importer of donkey skins from Burkina Faso, using them to make traditional medicines." Is there ANYTHING that China doesn't use to make traditional medicines? Apart from actual medicines that is
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Parishioners claim statue of Jesus opened its eyes, then quickly shut them when it saw its shadow - or something
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
NewsFlash
 
Man climbing Trump Tower with suction cups because apparently Trump can't even keep his elevators running
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The family of a DNC staffer who was killed in an apparent attempted robbery July 10th would REALLY like people on the Internet to knock off all their attempts to make his death part of a conspiracy involving Wikileaks..Especially YOU Julian Assange
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Here's a modern parent's guide to saving money on their kids' back to school clothes. We bet you have some awesome stories from back in the day when your mom got you a brown velour belted leisure suit on sale at Sears to hang your onion off
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Yankees owner considers Alex Rodriguez being honored in Monument Park. Not as a player, but for his skills as a negotiator in suckering the Yankees to pay him $27 million a year
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Seth Rogen's wiener, Kristen Wiig's buns, Selma Hayek's taco: 'Sausage Party' isn't the comedy you're expecting, but it's the comedy we need
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Daily)
 
 
 
Sometimes we're just loyal to the wrong particle
source: spacedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Cupping has not been studied in large, controlled clinical trials. Part of that is because it would be difficult to have a control group. If you've been cupped, you know it"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
From the Department of You're Not Helping, Giuliani says that if Trump had REALLY suggested assassinating Clinton, his crowd would have "gone wild"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Seth Rogen accidentally made Sausage Party X rated: "We had to digitally shave the scrotum"
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Justice Department says that Baltimore police have a racial bias...not in the way they drive their paddy wagons though. Don't be ridiculous
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Hillary ran pay-for-play out of our State Department. Trump still a big meanie
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Trump's handlers have changed Trump's Twitter password and won't tell him what it is, apparently
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Attack ad goes after paralyzed candidate telling him to "Stand up to Scott Walker"
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 09, 2016
(Vice)
 
 
 
Thanks to Constitutional due process safeguards and sloppy legislative drafting by Congress, there is a 50 square mile section in America's oldest national park where you can literally get away with murder
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
If you thought the Red Sox would salute A-Rod in his final trip to Fenway, just as they did with legendary Yankees Jeter and Rivera, you'd better slap that thought away: "A long history of clownish antics have helped make Rodriguez a pariah"
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
88% of billionaire men are married, compared to only 62% of billionaire women. This means something
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Apparently, the only people still watching CNN are Fox News spies
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Will the Trumpster's half-hearted endorsement save Paul Ryan, or will the Tea Party set off shock waves in the GOP House Leadership -- again? This is YOUR Wisconsin Primary thread (polls close at 8 PM CDT/9 PM EDT)
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Apparently, the Hall of Fame Game fiasco was lifted from the plot of an "I Love Lucy" episode
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump warmly embraces fundraising and donations but shuns transparency. "It shouldn't matter where I get the money from." *cough RUSSIA cough*
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
My next door neighbor keeps knocking on my door while my partner and I are having sex to complain that we're too loud and are corrupting her 4-year-old son. Wat do?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Erdogan goes to meet Mr. Putin...because none of us here called this move. Christ, it's like Fark is playing three-dimensional chess while the rest of the diplomatic world is playing parcheesi
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
You know what is going above and beyond the call of duty for police officers? Cooking a lonely elderly couple some pasta after they were heard crying. Pass the parmigiano-reggiano cheese you crazy Italian police guys
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 08, 2016
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle Times says Fark hits it out of the park with this headline: "Mark Teixeira announces retirement from disabled list"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
The world may be spared the indignity of seeing a reality television show "starring" Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
The terrorist attack on a parade in Tokyo turned out to be one cranky old man who was bothered by the noise
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Physicists have discovered a whole new form of light. Here comes the Frankenstein particle
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
As part of his campaign reset, Donald Trump unveiled his new economic plan today in Detroit. And while it may contain massive tax breaks for the wealthy and kick 20,000,000 off their health insurance, at least it's alarmingly thin on details
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsMax)
 
 
 
GOP leaders to down ticket candidates: All hands to the escape pods, prepare to abandon ship
source: newsmax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
"What Trump has revealed is that there are parts of the Republican base that are not connected to the mainstream of the Republican Party, and those folks seem susceptible and receptive to conspiracy theories"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackmore Vale Magazine)
 
 
 
And in Somerset Magistrates court in Yeovile, a man from Gillingham denied assaulting a woman from Chaffinch Close in a dispute that took place in a Wincanton supermarket car park, according to the Blackmore Vale Magazine. Uh, Mornington Crescent?
source: blackmorevale.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The people who wrote Trump's economic plan, that he is set to reveal today, are part of the same "dream Team" that crafted the tax plan that created the economic miracle that turned Kansas into the Supply-sider's paradise it is today
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Donald Trump will propose allowing parents to deduct spending on childcare from their income taxes. Guess he doesn't realize we can already do that
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
What did Arkansas' Republican Party just delete from their platform this weekend? A) Any mention of abortion B) Any mention of marijuana legalization C) Any mention of pre-kindergarten education
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"What if the Green Party stopped being so kooky and started being real?" What if pigs suddenly flew out of my anus and made you a breakfast of ass bacon?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Hey let's not forget the Green Party this election year
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Hillary ally goes completely off the rails, accuses Green Party's Jill Stein of being a Trump-like Russian agent
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 07, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NFL star Benjamin Watson, in an interview with a pro-life group, has launched an attack on Planned Parenthood, saying it has historically been an organization designed to 'exterminate blacks'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Leonard Cohen writes a final letter to his muse, who died on July 29 at 81. "Well Marianne it's come to this time when we are really so old and our bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon"
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 06, 2016
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
How much would it cost to have Jennifer Lopez, or Mariah Carey at your next party? Here's the price list
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Now all Russian athletes to be banned from the Paralympic Games, too, due to doping scandal
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Alcohol makes you lower your standards for choosing a partner. Ric Romero reporting
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Modern Farmer)
 
 
 
The bizarre reason why Amish children are less at risk for asthma. Is it because they live in an Amish paradise?
source: modernfarmer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New York sportswriter thinks retiring Mark Teixeria deserves consideration for the Hall of Fame. As what, a ticket-taker? Maybe the guy selling funnel cakes in the snack bar? Do they have an opening for a parking lot attendant?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVM Columbus)
 
 
 
Apparently, some folks in Tennessee still aren't clear on the 13th Amendment
source: wtvm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
Rule #3 "Soap box cars are to be made by the racer, with ASSISTANCE from a parent" Does this apply to sisters or Rainbow Dash? The CMC find this out the hard way in My Little Pony, The Cart Before the Ponies, 11:30 AM ET on Discovery Family
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 05, 2016
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan prepares to shoot down any missile North Korea plans on using to attack Japan's part of the ocean
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
Mainlining drugs into one's neck now a spectator sport in NYC's Washington Park
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently Trump's cunning plan to distract attention from all the incorrect, stupid, or offensive things he's said in the last week, is to revisit all the incorrect, stupid, or offensive thing's he's said since his campaign began
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Obama & Hillary: "That $400 million for Iran was not a ransom." Iran: "That's correct: It was only *part* of the expensive price to free the hostages"
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
At a rally in Raleigh, Mike Pence compares Trump to Ronald Reagan. Unclear if he meant 1980s Reagan or late '90s Reagan
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
America has a problem, and it isn't Donald Trump. It is the simple fact that the nation claiming to be the largest most successful democracy in the world is run by two parties, both of which are held hostage to lobbyists and corporations
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"So, Sarah Jessica Parker, are you a feminist?" "Nay"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
All 306 Olympic medal events ranked. Apparently there's a 50 km walk event and it's still better than equestrian dressage
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Junction Daily Sentinel)
 
 
 
Let's do this by the numbers: Temp outside: 96. Number of dogs left in car: 1. Members of family who left him there: 3. Number of women who confronted them: 3. Racist tirade: 1. Whiny videos posted about it: 1. Only innocent party involved: The dog
source: gjsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So apparently the police can now shut down your social media accounts before they shoot you... Nothing to see here citizen, move along
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 04, 2016
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
♫ Pardon me, are you Richard Burr, sir? ♫ That depends, who's asking? ♫ Your opponent, sir ♫
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
"In every presidential election since 1888, the Harvard Republican Club has gathered to discuss, debate, and eventually endorse the standard-bearer of our party. But for the first time in 128 years, we will not be endorsing the Republican nominee"
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
JFK Airport opens new parking lot for DUI drivers running late for their flights
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Tea Party governor formerly demanding that the Federal government do nothing, demands that the Federal government do something
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
NY police officer being investigated for racist FB posts, didn't have problem with black people when he was on duty and they were grinding on his junk at the 2011 West Indian parade (with video)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
The State Department has spent $185,000 on 98 randomly placed balls of yarn. Yes, there's a picture to deride
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Naturalized immigrant understands the meaning of "country before party"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Sometimes great racehorses can't stay on the track, they wander all over the place, they have to put blinders on them. We need to put a blinder on Donald Trump "-and that's from the guy who invented the Tea Party and is running a PRO-Trump superPAC
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
It really isn't a very respectful viewing of a relative when one of the family members tells another (a cop) to kiss her ass while lifting her dress which escalates into a full blown fight in the funeral parlor
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump Campaign Co-chair, and apparent Jabba the Hutt cosplayer Sam Wilson strongly suggests that after her most recent gaffe, Trump Spokeswoman Katrina Pierson has been sent to a nice farm where she can romp and play with other disgraced spokespeople
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
People keep dumping unwanted pet rabbits in Louisiana park, forgetting they fark like rabbits
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
L.A. Rams cancel "Rams Legends" game because of poor ticket sales. Apparently it was the first time fans heard the words "Rams" and "Legends" used together in the same sentence
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
24 schoolteachers share the most ridiculous things that parents have ever said to them. Have any good ones to share? Post to your right
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Breitbart: Look at the crowd Donald Trump got in Florida, Twitter: That's actually from Cleveland ... for the Cavs' championship parade
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 03, 2016
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
These three guys entered a 'Hillary For Prison' float in their local parade in Iowa, complete with a makeshift prison cell and a Hillary impersonator wearing an orange jumpsuit . Let's find out how that played in flyover (pics)
source: nytlive.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CSN Chicago)
 
 
 
Top Cardinal prospect gets traded to White Sox at deadline, gets called up, celebrates his very first MLB game by getting hit, tears hamstring in fifth inning, prepares for season-ending hamstring surgery
source: csnchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Researchers from the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics say that the reason why we haven't found alien life like ourselves is because "compared to the rest of the universe, Earthly life is relatively premature"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Skip pancake mix to avoid partially hydrogenated oil; try these more healthy, from-scratch recipes. Such as bourbon-maple syrup on egg nog pancakes or Rice Krispie treat pancakes with browned butter syrup. Mmmm... pancakes
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Anyone need a point guard? Apparently there's one available who has 5 NBA titles. Catch: He's 41 and has a 40-96 coaching record
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Federal prisons redacted possible errors in death reports. You'd think someone would notice if Jimmy 'Whackadoodle' Cortez didn't show up for his parole hearing
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Golf Digest)
 
Video
 
Colorado golfer shoots two under spar
source: golfdigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Free art classes expanded for seniors with dementia and Alzheimer's. Now, you can have confusing crayon scribbles on your fridge from both your kids AND your parents
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
If you happen to know the whereabouts of 15 missing human skulls and an entire human skeleton, please contact the UConn Health Department
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Birthday celebrations in Austria can now include blowing out candles on a cake, playing pin the tail on the donkey, or having the party stormed by irate, confused Turkish nationalists trying to set the building on fire
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's vice presidential nominee Mike Pence endorses Paul Ryan "as part of the process of bringing the party together". At this point he'd have a better chance of bringing Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck back together
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerdist)
 
 
 
Avocado burger buns are a new fad, but apparently you need to dislocate your jaw to eat a slider made with one (pics)
source: nerdist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Spanish parents win legal battle to name son 'Wolf,' dooming him to a lifetime of negative Jeopardy scores
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman who apparently works for Mr. Potato Head live streams her boss asking her to perform sex act so she can leave early
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump has alienated the GOP's party leadership, so naturally he repairs these frayed relations by firing his RNC liason
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Apparently Archie Bunker is still alive and Edith likes Hillary Clinton
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Has anyone else caught the "Red Faced, Sweaty, Dirty Toddler Allegedly Abandoned by His Parents" Pokemon Go character yet?
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey police department told to arrest all the black people, but other than that, they're fine
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
The end of the world has been changed to October 31st, so you may want to have your Halloween party early
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Everyone laughed at the idea of Donald Trump picking Ivanka as his running mate-except, apparently, Nicaragua's president
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Theranos' founder gives important new speech where she was supposed to defend their finger stick blood testing tech except that she instead introduced another new untested technology. Apparently, she's gone to the Trump school of crisis management
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
New website allows guilty-feeling white Americans to offer reparations to blacks
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SpaceWeather)
 
 
 
Solar storm currently making the sky glow. Farkers in Canuckistan and northern parts of the US: no, that drink wasn't spiked
source: spaceweather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
'Weird Al' Yankovic reveals that there was one artist who did not want Al parodying his songs. Hint: Think of the color purple
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
U.S. credit card accounts have now risen to pre-recession levels. Apparently the economy is on the road to recovery when people are once again comfortable with going in debt up to their eyeballs
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to discuss the truth . . . (really not prepared)
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tired of blasting its garbage into international seas, Best Korea decides Japanese coastal waters could use some missile parts, too
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pictures emerge of a child inside the Dublin Zoo rhino enclosure. Apparently the gorillas were busy that day
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 02, 2016
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Thanks to the merger between Chinese ride-sharing service Didi and Uber China, Uber USA is now a part owner of Lyft
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Barack Obama asks GOP senators why they're endorsing their Presidential nominee. He then glanced over at his party's nominee and sighed with a knowing sense of resignation
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And your parenting conundrum of the day: Should twins go to different high schools?
source: kidspot.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Blue Jays and Astros combine for 40 strikeouts, 14 innings, two great catches, and a walk-off. Wild night at Minute Maid Park
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Jill Stein, while apparently drunk on WiFi signals, says that she wants to eliminate student loan debt through quantitative easing
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tiger angrily removes bumper from car, comes back for radiator, but car already gone. Apparently tiger is constructing a getaway car
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Matthew McConaughey, pitchman for Lincoln automobiles, will also shill for Wild Turkey, presumably in separate campaigns
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston Globe columnist annihilates both major political parties in this one short article
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsBusters)
 
 
 
In the most clear-cut example of media bias yet, broadcast networks gave 50 times as much coverage to Trump's attacks on the Khan parents than they did to Clinton's insults to Pat Smith
source: newsbusters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The eerie remnants of the defunct Boblo Island Amusement Park
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Hundreds of insects released into London hamburger restaurants. Apparently they'll do anything to be more like their American counterparts
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Ah, the '90s, when Colin Quinn compared Matt Damon to Hitler
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 01, 2016
(Salon)
 
 
 
Latest RINO to desert the party: the author of GOP's 2012 "autopsy", who apparently no longer wanted to watch what they were doing to the corpse
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
After he actually contacted the FDA about getting the blood of the young and poor to sustain himself indefinitely, Gawker outs Peter Thiel as an apparent vampire
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Another Republican asks what's happened to their party. Sorry I meant another Democrat
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
HBO sold Bill Simmons as the bad boy of sports, unafraid to speak his mind on his new show, but apparently all he has to say is that he loves HBO
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
With US assistance, Iraqi and Kurdish forces are preparing a complex pincer movement that will allow them to encircle the city of Mosul, ISIS' last remaining stronghold in Iraq, and retake the city by..surprise, surprise, October
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Parts of Idaho are getting a jumpstart on making America great again. And by great, we mean 'totally farking everything up in the worst possible way'
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 31, 2016
(BBC)
 
 
 
Paraguay police raided drug lord's cell after learning he was planning to escape by blowing a hole in prison wall. Discover he was only building an extension
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyCar)
 
 
 
Weepers vs. Wankers, No race vs. a probably better chance at one, and parade laps vs. clownshoes. I believe your better chance at some sort of racing today will be at the Honda Indy 200 at Mid-Ohio (2pm ET, CNBC)
source: indycar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Apparently, people in Canada still think the "travelling gnome prank" is funny
source: vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
That feeling you get after criticizing the fire marshal in public, then having to get rescued from a stuck elevator by the same fire department
source: elections.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Skydiver who wanted to jump 25,000 feet without a parachute gets net. All net
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 30, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
John Carpenter has won $500,000 in his plagiarism lawsuit against Luc Besson as an appeals court in Paris rules that the Besson's movie Lockout had "massively borrowed key elements" from Carpenter's movie Escape From New York
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Sarah Jessica Parker talks about how new show "Divorce" is different than "Sex and the City". In Sex and the City, we were single and young. Interview over
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump insists that, yes, he has made sacrifices in his life. Apparently one of his sacrifices was his memory, because he can't think of any examples
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Woman who told prison officials she didn't want released from prison because she had no place to go gets released on parole and robs a bank so she can return to prison because no shelter would take her
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Researchers say the best way to boost memory is to study, wait and then exercise. Which is a great plan for most people except for the part where they have to study and exercise
source: well.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Snooty, world's oldest manatee in captivity, celebrates 68th birthday with party attended by 100s of kids, plans to wait to 70 to start Social Security
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Bernie Sanders leaves the Democratic Party
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Dollar General buys 41 former Walmart Express stores. Apparently the goal is to attract customers who didn't like shopping at Walmart Express because the clientele was just a bit too sophisticated
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Happy 80th birthday to blues god Buddy Guy...here's "Champagne & Reefer" with Buddy's backing group, the Rolling Stones. Bonus: a lovely parting gift from Mr. Richards
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(seventeen.com)
 
 
 
Apparently T-Shirts are no longer considered proper attire at a theme park
source: seventeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Apparently those leaky pipes in the Australian Olympic team's building were for fire prevention
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Remember that Avengers: Infinity War is a two parter? Not so much anymore
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Yes, those student loans were fraudulent. But they've been sold off to third party collectors at 4 cents on the dollar, so just pay up, mkay?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Revisionist history at its finest: a conservative pastor thinks the US warned Japan about what cities it wanted to drop the atomic bomb on so they could be prepared
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
How does a candidate prepare to lose every debate in dramatic fashion in front of what are sure to be the largest audiences in television history?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 29, 2016
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Russia hacks the Clinton campaign...at the behest of no one in particular
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Chipotle marketing department now working for Panera
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
If you're planning to go to a party this weekend and you want to "WOW" your friends then I bet you would be interested in making an impression on them with your extensive knowledge of the exciting history of drywall
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Welp, Mike Pence said it. If Trump wins, abortion will become illegal. Still voting third party, BernieBros?
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Treasury Department orders identification of all cash buyers of high end properties in Manhattan, immediately annoying all three people on the planet with enough money to buy NYC real estate with cash
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Analysts forecast an upcoming restaurant recession. Unfortunately, the minute Americans start cutting back on food, it's time to prepare for a total economic collapse
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
For the first time since the 2000 election, the Democratic Party platform doesn't include lip-service to protecting the Second Amendment
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Investors Business Daily)
 
 
 
Did Philly and Cleveland mark the end of the two-party system?
source: investors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Byron Hamburgers in Britain held a mandatory staff meeting for all its cooks to show them the proper way to cook burgers. When everyone was present, management revealed it was an immigration raid they'd willingly taken part in
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Skydiver from Darwin Parachuting Club to attempt parachute-less jump
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Hillary Clinton is the luckiest woman alive...compared to Trump she is an avenging angel driving a truck full of hot waffles. Compared to Hillary, Donald is a gigantic totalitarian flavored, mustard-gas clown balloon, bulging and hissing with death"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Half of Americans sleep less than five hours a night. Apparently, it's hard to fall asleep in bed for more than that after spending the other 19 hours of the day lying around on the couch
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Apparently Yoga Rage is now a thing
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Blue Apron 3 meals for 2 people. Recipes and pre-measured ingredients to prepare high-quality meals, delivered right to your door. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Paris Hilton is convinced she's going to be attacked by ISIS: "I'm a famous person who could be a target"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Trump tries to distract from the Russia issue by picking a fight with a DNC speaker who suffers from a form of dwarfism: "I was gonna hit one guy in particular, a very little guy...I was gonna hit this guy so hard his head would spin"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 28, 2016
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Microsoft announces Windows 10 update will be available in new education edition, including stricter security policies and no Cortana to entice students to do bad things with their PC like install third-party apps
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
The parties' parties are coming to an end. Katy Perry leads into a couple Clinton ladies - This is your (probably) final DNC discussion thread
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Nobel economist Joseph Stiglitz calls Apple scheme to park corporate cash in Ireland an obvious fraud. Innovative, yes, insanely great, perhaps, but still a fraud
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Drug addicted paranoid lunatic has over a dozen homes burned down because he thought the owners were police narcs. Also, police satellites were "zapping his brain"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Zoo elephants are apparently getting sick of our shiat
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fansided)
 
 
 
The Lingerie Fighting Championships is making a serious push to sign Ronda Rousey. She would likely become their biggest star, eclipsing "Vicki the Part Time Stripper." (possibly Not safe for work)
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Muslims outraged over apparent insult on kids tv show. Yes, again. No, not that one
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brand Eating)
 
 
 
Can the new $1 Taco Bell Cheetos Burrito, about to be tested in Cincinnati, rock your taste buds? Sadly, no: "For the most part, the burrito tastes a lot like a number of past Taco Bell menu items given the mostly same ingredients"
source: brandeating.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Couple buys a lot near SeaTac airport, files to build a parking garage. SeaTac city council puts a moratorium on parking garages. Couple forced to sell at a loss to "phantom buyer" that is really the city. PO'ed judge gives couple $18 mil
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
I'm not saying that these 2,000-year-old elongated Paracas skulls found in Peru are aliens ....but they're probably aliens
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Libertarian Party to displaced Sanders voters: Come to the dark side, we have cookies
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Judicial Watch)
 
 
 
Senior IRS officials knew about the illegal targeting of the 'Tea Party' and other conservative groups years before the information was revealed. This is going to be a heck of a mess for whomever President Trump appoints
source: judicialwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
DNC insiders detail the exact moment Debbie Wasserman Schultz went from staunch ally and defender of the liberal ideal to a rogue scapegoat that needed cut from the party like a tumor
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Six weather movie mistakes Hollywood made. Apparently, it's not possible for a tornado to toss sharks on the land. Who would have thought?
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS)
 
 
 
DNC Night 3.1... YOUR Colbert after-party thread
source: cbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 27, 2016
(DNC Live Stream)
 
 
 
Eight years ago, Hillary Clinton spoke on behalf of Barack Obama to unify the Party. Tonight he returns the favor. This is YOUR DNC Night 3 Part 2
source: demconvention.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
The best part of this guy's cooking show is where he just shuts up and cooks. Also that's the entire show
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
In the 12+ hours since Bill Clinton gave his convention speech, there have been exactly ZERO news stories analyzing whether he plagiarized any part of it from any other First Gentleman's convention speech--and you say the media isn't baised
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My husband and I have been married for several years, but I feel the romance is gone as he always expects me to initiate sex. He just sort of plods along and seems to have lost his sexual spark. Should I keep going or confront him?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is now openly championing a foreign government hacking the US State Department. But whatever, Hillary has cankles and his presidency will be so full of LULZ
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Mobicip Family Premium: Lifetime License. 5 device Parental control for iPhone, iPad, Mac, Android, Kindle Fire, Windows, Galaxy Nook. Finally stop what your kids are doing. Who is this Jack Septiceye anyway? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
DNC convention exposes Trump's 9-11 fund scandal. Apparently, taking money earmarked for damage relating to the 9-11 attack when you have no damage relating to the 9-11 attack is a bad thing
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
Panel proposes 47% raise for NY governor and legislature, pointing out the crushing difficulty of making ends meet on an $80K part-time job plus the occasional bribe
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Great news everyone: it appears that NO ONE was responsible for killing Freddie Gray. He apparently just ended up dead in the back of a police van with a broken neck completely by magic
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Want to try and guess (within 500) the number of hours Ronda Rousey will spend in the gym in 12 months as part of her comeback training program?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
Some of the worst drinks ever invented include a whiskey and sarsaparilla cocktail, pancetta-fat-washed bourbon, and a beverage made with the ingredients of a Waldorf salad
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 26, 2016
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Apparently there's at least one barricaded gunman who hasn't gotten the "bomb squad robots can't be trusted" memo
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
In a shocking development it turns out that state parties received less than one half of one percent of the $82 million DNC donors supposedly gave them
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Two things we learned tonight - Hillary is the nominee, and do NOT fark with Moms. This is YOUR DNC Thread, Part 2
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
In Soviet Canuckistan, political parties get sanctioned for peddling 'misleading' polling data. They also immediately accept responsibility and apologize
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Better parenting through tasers
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Who DIDN'T Trump attack at the convention. Apparently Trump won't mess with Michelle Obama. Either that or his practice tweets were so racist that none were sent
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Apparently, "Bork bork bork" translates to "Swedish children's condom haggis"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Remember when the Texas grand jury set to investigate Planned Parenthood instead indicted the two behind the videos attacking PP? A judge has dismissed those indictments
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Bad Lip Reading covers Ted Cruz's RNC speech, making it the most comprehensible part of last week's convention
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rich kid's parents let him play with their money. Kid buys popular stocks, gets lucky, and still does a worse than a total market index fund. Of course CNN is amazed
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, this motorized scooter fight wasn't filmed in a Walmart parking lot or Florida (Not safe for work language)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Today's major issue at the DNC that threatens to implode the party: bacon shortage
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Days after returning from the RNC, a disillusioned GOP senator from Utah renounces his Republican allegiance and throws his support to the Libertarian party
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
DNC email leak exposes money laundering, collusion between the Democratic Party and HRC's campaign, and a pointed effort to smear Sanders whenever somebody got too close. DNC: Yeah...and? #PartyUnity #NeverTrump #ImWithHer
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are the ugliest uniforms in the history of all sports, and apparently there is no love for stripes on this list
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Scientists studying he DNA of Australian Aboriginees "found sections of DNA that did not match any previously identified hominin species." in their genes. Meaning they found time to fark a completely separate race of humans on the trip from Africa
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 25, 2016
(Adweek)
 
 
 
TGI Fridays new commercials are based on the hit musical "Hamilton." Apparently they got the idea from how Korean restaurants were able to tie in to the success of the Broadway run of "Cats"
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Now with extra special bridge building, part 3 of tonight's DNC Day 1 thread. Part 1,2, just too darned long
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The metadata show that the Russian operators apparently edited some documents, and in some cases created new documents after the intruders were already expunged from the DNC network on June 11
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
President Obama accidentally admits to being part of ISIL
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Call girl songs, Congressional sisters, and getting hot for teacher... the Democratic Convention is turning out to be MUCH more interesting than last week's. This is your DNC Day One Part 2 thread: come for the chill, stay for the Bern
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fruitnet)
 
 
 
Knott's Berry Farm reclassified from "amusement park" to "research facility"
source: fruitnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Companies using "reverse mentoring" to help older employees learn from Millennials. Subjects to include Snapchat, living with your parents, and just what the heck a Pokemon is anyway
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
♪Low-ered Expectat-ions♬ DNC edition: "This is Obama's party. He'll light the place up and pass the torch of a united party, then we'll all pray she doesn't screw it up between now and November"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The latest shocking bombshell to emerge as a consortium of journalists pore over the leaked "Panama Papers" is that there seems to be a whole lot of corruption in the oil and gas industry, particularly in Africa
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Apparently, police can get a confession about nearly anything when allowed to electrocute a man's penis
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
"We're a quiet village where not much happens." said Councillor Preedy after a man is murdered and others are seriously injured at a swingers' party
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Texas whodunnit: A) neighborhood hooligan, B) smooth criminal, or C) her parent for publicity?
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ken Griffey, Jr.'s suit hits it out of the park at his Hall-of-Fame induction ceremony
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A parasite called Toxoplasma gondii, found in the cat poo, could be the next weapon against ovarian cancer. No sh*t?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 24, 2016
(WWE)
 
 
 
WHO will be left standing when The Shield explodes? WILL The Club #BeatUpJohnCena? IS Sasha Banks secret partner a hugger? LIVE from DC, THIS is YOUR WWE Battleground thread. (8pm ET on PPV, WWE Network)
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
This is what happens when you fall asleep at a cricket match. This must happen a zillion times per cricketing googlie or whatever, but this one was apparently epic (pics, video)
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Since today is apparently trailer day on Fark, here's a first look at BBC America's upcoming "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency" with extra-Frodo goodness
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Remember when you were 5 and you'd throw a fit when you didn't want to wear the clothes your parents laid out for you? Chris Sale remembers
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 23, 2016
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
Matt Stone and Trey Parker say Pokemon Go stole their idea
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Yes, the Russian Paralympic team is doping too, because we apparently don't get to have a single nice thing in the whole wide world
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Hello, would you like some deer parts with your lo mein?"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Leicester Mercury)
 
 
 
If you have 71 convictions on your criminal record you might want to avoid doing stupid things. Like going to the park with a friend and taking turns shining a laser pointer at a helicopter
source: leicestermercury.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Another reason the Republican Party is dying, they cannot survive on Hillary hate alone and that's all they have
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 22, 2016
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
NBC's upcoming hockey TV schedule was apparently designed in 2010
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Firefighters evacuate apartment complex due to a strange odor caused by boiling liquid. Was it A) meth B) hash oil C) urine
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Apparently orgies are really, REALLY smelly according to the online community
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARCA Racing)
 
 
 
Looking for some entertaining short track racing and a lot of crashes and cars that probably shouldn't be raced? Well look no further, as the ARCA Series comes to Indianapolis Raceway Park for the Sioux Chief PowerPEX 200, live at 9 PM ET on FS1
source: arcaracing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Just because you can't make it doesn't mean you can't throw a great party
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter