Headlines matching 'par'
Mon May 28, 2012
Sun May 27, 2012
Sat May 26, 2012
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Chicago Fark Party - 9 June - New bat time, new bat channel (fark.com)
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Apparently one of the 11 secret herbs and spices KFC uses is wood harvested from Indonesia's endangered rain forest (azcentral.com)
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The Seattle Sounders are outdrawing 12 English Premier League teams. But they'll totally give that soccer thing up once the Mariners or Seahawks get good again, right? RIGHT? (espn.go.com)
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Glitz, kitsch, human rights violations, a pack of Russian grandmothers, more cheese than a tailgate party at Lambeau Field, politicized voting, and Engelbert farking Humperdinck. It must be time for your 2012 Eurovision Song Contest thread (bbc.co.uk)
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Sometimes classic car restoration can be challenging. On other occasions you find all the component parts for a 1925 MG buried separately under two inches of concrete beneath a cow shed (bbc.co.uk)
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You're 17, looking after your little sister after your parents cut and ran, working two jobs and pulling honors grades. You deserve jail time for missing too much school. Tag is for girl (cbsatlanta.com)
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1982 Sci-Fi Convention "Blade Runner" behind the scenes short film you've never seen. Bonus: Syd Mead discussing how the parking meters he designed would electrocute anyone trying to tamper with them (youtube.com)
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San Diego Fark Party, THIS SATURDAY May 26th 6:00pm at Pizza Port Solana Beach (fark.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Professor complains that crosses on state university entrance tower violate the separation of church and state. Good Christians respond as Jesus would, by stalking, online harassment, death threats, and firing her from her job (au.org)
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TORONTO FARK PARTY - June 2nd. 1pm Blue Jays v. Red Sox, 8pm variety show at The Comedy Bar - stand-up, music and burlesque acts put together by our very own Mike "Nug" Nahrgang (AKA The Mustard Man). Come mooch a beer off Drew (fark.com)
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Joe Biden gives one of the most emotional, passionate speeches of his (or anyone's) career... not one iota of partisanship (video.msnbc.msn.com)
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Jurassic Park was built by prisoners in Cuba, with obligatory pics of prehistoric Cubans fighting cave-bears (io9.com)
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Fri May 25, 2012
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White people from Portland prefer Tumblr, white people from Tulsa prefer Pinterest. Everyone else, apparently, has better things to do with their time that use digital corkboards (slate.com)
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Will Zach Parise book his team a ticket to the Stanley Cup Final? Will Ryan Callahan pull a Mark Messier? Are the Kings getting a nice tan while awaiting their opponent? Devils-Rangers Game 6 from the Prudential Center (8:10pm, NBC Sports) (nhl.com)
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| (MyDesert.com) |
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It apparently requires the efforts of four TSA and two police officers to identify... an iPhone charger (mydesert.com)
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Bridge from Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge" located in MacArthur Park. In other news, someone left a cake out in the rain (nme.com)
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| (Business Insider) |
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"People unwilling to work seems to be a real moral quandary, as reflected by the Fark comments on the story. Some don't have any sympathy, some think she needs more help." That's Fark for you (3rd paragraph) (businessinsider.com)
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| (The Mercury) |
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Mum of two talks about her recent trip to the Playboy Mansion. Yes there's a gallery. Yes there was a lingerie/pyjama party. No, there's no word from her boyfriend about what he thinks about the trip (themercury.com.au)
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Father upset that his third-grader daughter was drawing swastikas as part of her class art project when she was supposed to be studying Native American culture (azfamily.com)
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Wilmer Valderrama sued by neighbor for having loud parties, nailing every hot young starlet he can find (tmz.com)
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Disneyland Japan to let cute Japanese lesbians have their wedding at the theme park. This is a great step forward for gay rights in Japan and... aw, hell, you stopped reading at "Cute Japanese Lesbians", didn't you? (smh.com.au)
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Scientists believe a new sensory organ they have discovered in whales shows how they are like "mammals from space". Still no transparent aluminum (io9.com)
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Marlins RF Giancarlo Stanton almost decapitated Marlins 1B Logan Morrison after Morrison apparently tried to cutoff Stanton's throw to home (with amazing "The Matrix" video of Morrison dodging the throw) (deadspin.com)
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Rescue workers have to demolish part of house to get Britain's Got Tonnage winner to the hospital (mirror.co.uk)
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Fugitive penguin recaptured in Tokyo. Keepers are keen to return it to the Sea Life Park, but on the other hand they've already mixed up 200 pounds of batter for penguin tempura (bbc.co.uk)
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| (whdh) |
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Don't you just hate it when a bunch of heifers crash your party and drink all the beer? (www1.whdh.com)
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Comparing the ex Patriot Act to Nazism...always a good argument (upi.com)
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Got an hour and a half to kill? Want to hear Star Wars as performed be Jake the Dog, Pinky and the Brain, Philip J. Fry, Batman and Twilight Sparkle? (youtube.com)
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| (Some GaGa) |
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Target, which faced a boycott because they were apparently against gay marriage, is now accused of apparently being for gay marriage (kare11.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Legoland Florida sets Guinness world record for Dumbest Stunt Performed at a Theme Park Modeled After a Toy (baynews9.com)
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Thu May 24, 2012
Wed May 23, 2012
Tue May 22, 2012
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Stephen Colbert voted Maxim's 69th hottest woman in America. HA HA, dangly parts (gawker.com)
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| (phys.org) |
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New study shows that sleeping around can be costly for sparrows. It pays not to be a cheap cluck (phys.org)
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Free pizza on June 5 but only if you order it in Spanish. Some people have a problem with that. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors" (usatoday.com)
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"Sorry, officer. I didn't want to drive drunk, but the zebra had too much wine and the parrot wasn't listening to me" (desmoinesregister.com)
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School nurse refuses student access to his inhaler during full-blown asthma attack. School officials took it away because they had no current form signed by a parent authorizing its use (clickorlando.com)
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| (Life Site News) |
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Planned Parenthood beats off all competitors when it comes to encouraging masturbation for elementary students (lifesitenews.com)
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The Iowa GOP officially endorsing the birther movement is probably the least crazy part of their party platform (thinkprogress.org)
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US Airways jetliner en route from Paris to Charlotte, North Carolina, has been diverted to Bangor, Maine due to a suspicious passenger. Passenger was suspicious because he said US Airways had good customer service (news.blogs.cnn.com)
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If your couch is dirty and smells of urine, do you A: Clean it? B: Throw it out? or C: Set it on fire while it's still in your apartment? (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)
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| (Some Cheese Head) |
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Wisconsin has a Deer Czar, and he firmly believes that State and National Parks are a commie plot. Like to hunt on public land? "Sucks to be you" (lodivalleynews.com)
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The claim that women make 81 cents to the dollar than men earn doing the same job? It's apparently not only bogus, but also crude and misleading. Like most men (forbes.com)
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Howard Stern makes a little boy cry. This is what Parents' Television Council warned us about (eonline.com)
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Not news: Grandma lets granddaughter test drive her car. Fark: 10-year old granddaughter hits three cars in a McDonald's parking lot (boston.com)
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"Vast numbers of counterfeit Chinese electronic parts are being used in US military equipment, a key Senate committee has reported." Sleep tight, citizen (bbc.co.uk)
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Tea Party Patriots' latest IRS filing indicates that they may have filled their fundraising boat with too much money (motherjones.com)
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Surgeon, apparently listening to a baseball game, uses man's stomach to keep track of a 3 strikeout inning (nydailynews.com)
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Snooki announces she won't take part in season six of Jersey Shore. That show has had six seasons? Really? (tmz.com)
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Mon May 21, 2012
Sun May 20, 2012
Sat May 19, 2012
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Fire chief angry at 'idiots' for wasting his department's time and money when they have to rescue them from roof (bostonherald.com)
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Two Northern California cities dump redlight cameras. Subby's more partial to greenlights, anyway (thenewspaper.com)
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Cop attempts to bust a clam bake in a parachute on campus while tour group looks on, documented by a crackhead. THEN it gets funny (youtube.com)
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Obama is the first to go negative in the presidential election, says Romney top strategist who has apparently not listened to a single Romney speech this election season (news.bostonherald.com)
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The USS Iowa will make its final mission Sunday, as it departs the San Francisco Bay on its final voyage to LA to become a floating museum (contracostatimes.com)
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| (WMGM TV 40) |
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Top-notch reporting, fact-checking and proofreading in NJ news: "Van Halens own 'Sammy Hager' donates $10,000 to Atlantic City Parrish" (nbc40.net)
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Australian golfer shoots lowest round of golf ever recorded with 12 birdies, two eagles. FARK: His partner shoots a 69 and loses by 14 strokes (deadspin.com)
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Apple traditionally names its OS platforms after cats: Mountain Lion is the current version, then Lion, Snow Leopard, Leopard, Tiger, Panther, Jaguar, Puma, and Cheetah. How many other cat species are left? (latimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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SWAT team arrests Chicago protesters for the heinous crime of...making beer. Glad we're safe from THAT particular scourge (chicago.cbslocal.com)
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Famous straight actor slaps obscure gay reporter for attempted sexual overture and it's captured on camera ... our culture will still be parsing this fifty years from now (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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That awkward moment when you realize the vehicle you reported stolen a few hours ago has been parked in the weeds in your front yard the whole time (dacula.patch.com)
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Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan party at Hollywood home until 7am with predictable results (dailymail.co.uk)
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Fri May 18, 2012
Thu May 17, 2012
Wed May 16, 2012
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Joe Namath compares Sanchez and Tebow, and it's a dirty little secret (nypost.com)
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| (Some zoo's blog) |
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Ugly ass-snow leopards born at Woodland Park Zoo. Link goes to some sucky blog and horrific pics (woodlandparkzblog.blogspot.com)
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Height, weight, size, girth, tight, skinny, tan, rich, petite, jacked, strong, confident, go-getter, blast at parties, awesome fashion sense, musically adept, great cook, great in bed, etc, etc (gizmodo.com)
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Apparently the entire Oracle/Google Court case is one big "Intro to Java" class (wired.com)
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| (Some Awesome Grandma) |
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100-year-old Edith Pittenger has already taken laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (at age 96), so how does she celebrate 100? By going parasailing (thestarpress.com)
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Okay, now this is getting ridiculous. Apparently Obama is America's first "Amish President" as well because he won't let his daughters use Facebook or cell phones (abcnews.go.com)
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Real Americans in Nebraska GOP take a hard right turn into Palin country. Democratic nominee and former Senator, Bob Kerrey, last seen dancing a jig and preparing his victory speech (cnn.com)
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So, apparently July 9th, 2012 is the Internet Apocaypse. WHO KNEW? (salon.com)
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| (LoanSafe) |
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LoanSafe sees the reality in FARK's prediction of future social security benefits (2nd paragraph) (loansafe.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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What do you get when you combine a Sparkling Princess and Royal Horse Barbie set in pink wrapping paper, a digital camera and Viagra? C.) PMITAP (post-gazette.com)
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Coyotes force trail closures in Golden Gate Park due to conflicts with pets, shipments of rocket sleds and giant crossbows from Acme Corp (nytimes.com)
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New cut of beef discovered: "The flavor is comparable to the New York Strip Steak. It does not require aging or marinating to achieve tenderness." Kinda makes you wonder... What else have those damn cows been holding out on us? (gizmodo.com)
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Seattle Police Department claims Justice Department proposal is unreasonable, says it will be too expensive to stop its officers from randomly bludgeoning innocent people (seattlepi.com)
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Tue May 15, 2012
Mon May 14, 2012
Sun May 13, 2012
Sat May 12, 2012
Fri May 11, 2012
Thu May 10, 2012
Wed May 09, 2012
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Imprompteux Nola Fark Party shaping up for Friday night at Cooter Brown's... DIT (fark.com)
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Apparently, the idea of making misbehaving students wear those cone thingies that dogs wear so they don't chew themselves to death hasn't gotten old for teachers in Florida. Dug surrenders (wtsp.com)
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The Atlantic notices how FARK picked up a tall tale about Abraham Lincoln (6 paragraphs from the end) (theatlantic.com)
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Shepard Smith warns GOP to steer clear of the only side of history it knows (mediamatters.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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From the 'It's about god damned time' department: DOJ plans to sue Sheriff Joe over allegations of civil rights violations (abc15.com)
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In the "I knew it all along" department, that "revenge-filled dentist pulled out ex-boyfriend's teeth" article was a hoax (news.yahoo.com)
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Drawing an Iranian Parliament Member wearing a soccer jersey? That's a lashin' (boingboing.net)
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When Breitbart blogger told a Tea Party crowd they had to kill Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) because she's an "evil monster," he didn't mean they had to actually KILL her. Why do you libs have to take everything so seriously? (mediamatters.org)
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Secret X37B Space Plane a 'Spectacular Success,' except for the Secret part (news.yahoo.com)
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Ke$ha working with Iggy Pop on second album. How can you tell them apart? (gigwise.com)
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| (Some Transplant) |
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Okay, so apparently there is a Plan B (rightwingwatch.org)
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Those F-16 parts you're buying on Craigslist? The seller may be a no-show. Bonus: News video of the story shows an F-15 (kmov.com)
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Some days, being a scientist is pretty dull. On other days, you come up with a plan to air-drop poisoned mice by parachute to wipe out an army of two million snakes (bbc.co.uk)
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Dick Lugar does not go gently into that good night, lashes out at the Tea Party upstart who defeated him, giving Democrats plenty of ammunition for the November election (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Murdering your wife and then claiming that she shot herself will not hold up in court if your wife is paralyzed and can't hold a gun. You probably should have known this, being a judge and all (cbc.ca)
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Tue May 08, 2012
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Industries dependent on massive government handouts to even pretend that they make a profit, upset at these Tea Party people think that the government shouldn't prop up failing industries in favor of successful companies (hotair.com)
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Man stabs party-goers after cake dispute. No lie (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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| (ABC Cleveland) |
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The guys who tried to blow up a bridge in Cleveland weren't part of the Occupy movement, except for the one they featured on their website. Or the dozens of Occupy members who showed up to give support (newsnet5.com)
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SAVE THE DATE - Amsterdam Fark Party on Sept. 29 - Scheduled to appear: Drew (fark.com)
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The weirdest part of the Met Gala...Tom Brady's hair (newser.com)
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Not news: Hottie finishes London Marathon, News: She's paralyzed, Fark: She does it in a bionic suit (gizmodo.com)
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Bowling alley bandits steal $30,000 in brazen robbery. Article has devastating puns-per-paragraph value and mugshot you can add to your collection (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Apparently, UFOs are refreshing and delicious now (news.gather.com)
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Vikings release their highest scorer, because clearly there's something wrong with him if he's willing to be a part of such a spectacular failure (espn.go.com)
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Apparently unsatisfied with killing the photographer from the coroner's office, Obama's minions have now caused a witness to Breitbart's death to disappear. Either that or the guy just stopped taking calls from Wingnut Daily (wnd.com)
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When you drink, you pass out in the yard. When you pass out in the yard, your party guests can't see you. When your party guests can't see you, one of them will drive over you. Don't let your party guests drive over you (wrcbtv.com)
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Mon May 07, 2012
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I used to go for walks in the park like you, but then I took an arrow in the neck (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Congratulations to Mexican Wolves F749 & M740, proud parents of eight adorable, rare, ugly-ass Mexican Wolf pups (nywolf.org)
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Spurs prepare to put the Jazz out of their misery, while the Clippers hope they can keep Memphis from leveling the series. It's your NBA playoffs discussion thread. Games begin at 8PM EST on TNT (scores.espn.go.com)
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Canada.com editor mentions the different and unique perspective of FARK as compared to the vortex of the Kanye West twitter (blogs.canada.com)
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Tornado rips apart Kiester (myfoxtwincities.com)
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The modern-day parent's dilemma: do you allow your precious offspring to go down that big, scary, gleaming slide by himself (and possibly die), or do you slide down with him and risk snapping his leg in half when it gets caught on the side? (wtop.com)
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| (IBD) |
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Right-wing blogodome outrage du jour for Monday, May 7: Obama congratulated newly elected French President Francois Hollande after his victory yesterday instead of nuking Paris and killing Jerry Lewis (news.investors.com)
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Polls show that Republicans are more informed about current events than liberals and are more tolerant with opposing ideas than their liberal counterparts. Exhibit A: The comments section of the accompanying opinion piece (startribune.com)
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Mother of the year stops in safari park to let giraffe put its head through car window (with bonus pic of her daughter petting it) (express.co.uk)
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Police use sloppy parking as pretext for drug bust, lose case because parking over the line is not a crime in Maryland (thenewspaper.com)
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After 4 1/2 years, Shaquille O'Neal earns a Ph.D. It would have been sooner but part of his doctoral thesis included having to make seven of ten free throws (newser.com)
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Sun May 06, 2012
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Lawyer spends 11 years proving inmate's innocence. He offers to pay for her gender-reassignment surgery. "It was a very sweet gesture on his part," she said. "But he really needs to focus on taking care of himself first" (denverpost.com)
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Once again Warren Buffett is a lone voice of reason in the wilderness, standing apart from the small but powerful group of which he is a member. But why the hell is this in the Sports tab? (espn.go.com)
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A stream of highly charged particles from the sun is headed straight toward Earth. On the good side, you are probably going to die. On the other side, you probably will wish you did. It's not time to panic yet, but you should be ready to (latimes.com)
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Al-Qaeda extremists destroy the grave of a Muslim saint in Timbuktu. In other news, Timbuktu is an actual place, Muslims apparently have saints, and Al-Qaeda really sucks at the whole "winning hearts and minds" thing (news.yahoo.com)
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| (SaveOnBrew) |
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Best baseball parks for craft beer. Lord knows you're not going to watch the snoozeball (saveonbrew.com)
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This year's Libertarian Party convention? Why yes, it did end up being a complete clusterfark (reason.com)
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| (Some Spary) |
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Apparently, it needs to be said. Do Not bring your weed to class. Especially if your class is with the state police training academy (wcax.com)
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Sat May 05, 2012
Fri May 04, 2012
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Warrant issued after man has part of ear bitten off at bar. Still, that's gotta be better than most Scottish cuisine (news.stv.tv)
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Bill Buckner's '86 World Series ball sells at auction. Apparently, someone couldn't let it slip through his fingers (usatoday.com)
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Dick Lugar (R-eally wishing his party wasn't crazy) losing to Tea Party challenger (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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SpaceX prepares for the first private sector mission to resupply the Coca Cola International Space Station. Brought to you by Carl's Jr (economist.com)
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| (Some sister) |
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An interesting comparison of the Alien and Prometheus trailers (tor.com)
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"The entire Obama campaign is a slice-and-dice operation, pandering to one group after another, particularly those that elected Obama in 2008 - blacks, Hispanics, women, young people - and for whom the thrill is now gone" (washingtonpost.com)
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Apparently, this is how to get sexually enlightened (stylist.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you live in AR, CO, FL, KY, LA, MO, NV, OH, TN or WV, it will suck to be you this fall. Prepare to be ground zero in the upcoming Citizens United-fueled presidential ad onslaught (electoral-vote.com)
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Russians continue to flip over crazy amusement park ride (youtube.com)
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UK government political party defeated in election by a man dressed as a penguin (local.stv.tv)
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The human element in baseball - Part 2: The generous strike zone called during Jered Weaver's no-hitter (deadspin.com)
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| (Some WV Guy) |
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If you're going to steal copper wire, make sure it's not connected to the police department (wvgazette.com)
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California GOP calls press conference to advertise itself as "Party of Yes". Then immediately calls for "no" vote on tax proposition (blogs.sacbee.com)
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Thu May 03, 2012
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Tea Party candidate dies during forum at Homer's Smorgasbord. That is all (610wiod.com)
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Pepsi advertising may only be partially responsible for Michael Jackson's death, but will be fully responsible for his resurrection (hitfix.com)
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The Bella Twins open up about their departure from the WWE. It's now real to them, dammit (bleacherreport.com)
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Iron clad proof that America will always have a two party political system (dailykos.com)
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Looking for unique venue to hold your kid's birthday party? Look no farther than your local funeral home. "We've done a bridal shower, a baby shower, a surprise birthday party" (firstcoastnews.com)
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| (Lohud.com) |
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Apart from the whole "house burning down in five minutes, killing everybody inside" part, engineered wood is a wonderful modern construction material (lohud.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Apparently feeling it is undeserving of the Worst Company in America title, EA claimed Rock Band disabling message was just an error, totally not true. Also, let's just pretend the FAQ update which confirmed the said error didn't exist (computerandvideogames.com)
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How you know your law firm is doomed: When the senior partners distribute a memo to partners "encouraging" them find a new job somewhere else (news.yahoo.com)
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A story about parking missiles over your house should make you stroppy but the words "War Blimp" are just too giggle-inducing (gizmodo.com)
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"This is my first experience with an animal, other than taking care of my dog Sparky," Dr. Warren says. "So, I'm branching out a little bit" (wrcbtv.com)
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Apparently Newcastle United scored one of the English Premier league's best ever goals last night. I scored one like this once. On the Playstation (shortlist.com)
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Prepare to be slaughtered by an army of robot birds (engadget.com)
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Wed May 02, 2012
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"Frank McCourt is not involved in any shape and fashion. Frank is not here. He's not a part of the Dodgers any more. We should be clapping just for that" (sacbee.com)
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Suu Kyi sworn in as member of Burmese parliament, receives five dollars (abc.net.au)
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Law banning cannabis for tourists in The Netherlands is under a week old, and already black markets have sprung up, people are now sparking up in public. PROBLEM SOLVED (reuters.com)
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Cool: training a border collie to herd sheep. Farkin' amazing: training a border collie to herd mule deer out of Waterton Lakes National Park's townsite (youtube.com)
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Texas Attorney General calls Planned Parenthood a "terrorist organization" in a motion to stay a U.S. district judge's ruling (huffingtonpost.com)
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Paralyzed Rutgers defensive tackle gets signed by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, immediately moves to second on the depth chart (news.blogs.cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Apparently feeling it is undeserved of Worst Company in America title, EA is disabling purchased copies of Rock Band on iOS devices (computerandvideogames.com)
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| (Antarctica Bar) |
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Reminder: NYC Fark Party tonight: 9pm Antarctica Bar on Hudson. Johnny Walker tasting is full, this is the afterparty (LGT location) (antarcticabar.com)
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Two players for the Nashville Predators suspended because they stayed out late partying the night before a playoff game. If the whole NHL thing doesn't work out for them they could always get a job with the Secret Service (azcentral.com)
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Say folks, would you like to become a rapist? Are rapists getting a bum deal in your part of the country? Worry no more fellas, I invite you to come to Montana, the land of trophy elk, big skies, and consequence-free rape (reuters.com)
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Cardboard cutout of Tim Tebow accompanies Iowa high schooler to prom, is expected to make the next Fark party (desmoinesregister.com)
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It's been forty years since the American workforce had benefits and salary that ran parallel to economic growth, and those forty years have been full of pay disparity based on both race and gender (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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People are re-discovering manual transmissions in cars. Women apparently not asked about this (autoblog.com)
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Note To pedophiles: When preparing for a routine home inspection by the police, don't forget to release the 12 year old boy locked-in the cabinet (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue May 01, 2012
| (C&E News) |
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How worried should we be about intelligent space dinosaurs? Apparently enough to try and get the same paper published three times in three separate journals (cen.acs.org)
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In an eleventh hour adios, Lionel Richie has bailed on his newest project ABC's Duets. This guy is apparently unclear on how comebacks work. #dumbassmove (bittenandbound.com)
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Federal Court ruling that Texas cannot bar Planned Parenthood from serving low-income women blocked 5 minutes later by Appellate Court (blog.chron.com)
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Post-traumatic stress flashbacks can be prevented--with Tetris. Apparently it blocks out bad memories (wired.com)
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Senior Citizen Attacks Golfing Bachelor Party. Tells them to respect their elders ... as he drives a golf cart into them (newser.com)
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The 37 saddest failed Kickstarter projects. "I have taken so many dumb part-time jobs to keep it going that it is embarrassing and tiring" (buzzfeed.com)
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The Occupy protests taking place today have a long and illustrious history, as this video from the glorious 1950 May Day parade illustrates so well. Pay no mind to the genocidal dictator on the reviewing stand (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Apparently not content with just your browsing habits, Facebook now wants your organs (digitallife.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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So you know that impending student loan rate crisis that's about to destroy our nation and has both parties tearing each other apart (again)? Yeah, turns out it's not really much of a crisis at all (usatoday.com)
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| (Last Angry Fan) |
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Liverpool fan rushes onto the pitch and hugs Luis Suarez, then simulates masturbation before mooning the crowd. Or as they call it in Italy, fan participation (lastangryfan.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Unattended multi-million dollar mansions in San Diego are being raided by groups of up to 400 very hard-partying teens. "The house was trashed. Vomit, cigarette butts, bottles everywhere" (10news.com)
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From the "I Want To Party With Her" files: Woman caught shoplifting Coppertone Dry Oil, Modelo beer, Pepsi, Bubba keg, Combo ink, Tampax tampons, shampoo, Energizer batteries, and Venus razors (nwfdailynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Paramedics called to Knicks locker room after Amare Stoudemire cut his hand punching a fire extinguisher. Guess he couldn't take the Heat (sbnation.com)
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Mon April 30, 2012
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Did the parents realize their kid was kidnapped in Monsters, Inc? This is among the Six Disturbing Unanswered Questions from Children's Movies (cracked.com)
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| (CBS News Detroit) |
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In the greatest example of viral marketing to date, BMW gets sued because its motorcycle seats cause 20 month erections, prepares to sell 10 million bikes next month (detroit.cbslocal.com)
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The state of Parenting 2012: Dear Abby, whenever my eight-year-old son loses a game, he takes his anger out by beating our dog. He'll be mad at me if I put him in therapy, so how do I convince my wife to get rid of the dog? (news.yahoo.com)
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Hungry Hippos - The Movie (SyFy Parody) (youtube.com)
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Angry toddler storms off on bike, gets lost, tells police it's his parents' fault for not fitting a sat nav [with angry toddler pic] (express.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: UFO Guru predicts a UFO will appear on Sunday over an LA park. News: Enough people show up to make it a story. Fark: It actually happens (news.gather.com)
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Israel's political leaders are greatly exaggerating the potential effectiveness of a military strike against Iran, according to the former head of some apparently liberal peacenik organization called "Shin Bet" (google.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Here's another fact we found out from the state police: troopers don't have any responsibility to inform a business if a sex offender is living in their parking lot" (wcyb.com)
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Apparently, Keith Olbermann got a little butthurt over Kimmel's jokes at last night's White House Correspondent's Dinner (mediaite.com)
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Sun April 29, 2012
Sat April 28, 2012
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Man busted for parking his truck on the side of the road to sell seafood and regular, strawberry, blackberry and apple-flavored moonshine. Why yes, this did happen in Florida (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)
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The world fears being plunged into anarchy and chaos as the Prince of Lichtenstein threatens to step down. Yeah, so, apparently Lichtenstein has a prince, who knew? (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The face of the Tea Party in PA (post-gazette.com)
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Parents warned about dangers of upper-floor windows -- as apparently people these days are too stupid to understand the gravity of the situation (ktla.com)
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How far will Lamar Miller's draft free fall take him? Who will be the 2012 Mr. Irrelevant? Which teams will be talking about Colt McCoy? NFL Draft: Part III - Rounds 4-7 (Begins at 12:00 PM ET) (espn.go.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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There's caring for the environment and then there's eating fish you raised inside your New York City apartment (asiaone.com)
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For just $50,000 you can purchase a $195 million ship from the Defense Department. But there's just one catch: As soon as you buy it you have to dismantle it on US soil (couriermail.com.au)
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Analyst predicts the cult of Steve Jobs will decline now that he's dead. Apparently he's never heard of Jesus (cnn.com)
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Blind Chinese prisoner Chen Guangcheng escapes house arrest, apparently going unnoticed by pulling fire alarm while his captors ran in circles (cnn.com)
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KFC's Twister Wrap contains a secret blend of 12 herbs and spices, one of which will paralyze you for life (bbc.co.uk)
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Teacher arrested after losing his iPad in a Wal-Mart. Apparently, the iPad had all his videos of 8th grade girls changing in the locker room (clickorlando.com)
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Fri April 27, 2012
Thu April 26, 2012
Wed April 25, 2012
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Not news: Americans solicit prostitute while traveling abroad. News: They're government officials and broke her collar bone after refusing to pay the agreed price. Fark: This isn't part of the Secret Service fiasco (dailymail.co.uk)
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Some of the Secret Service Agents did not have sex with the hookers because they were too drunk. Also, Secret Service Agents on Bill Clinton's detail went to a Brazilian strip club, though that was part of their protective duties (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Karl Rove is trying to be the Conservative voice of reason, warning fellow party members trying to link Obama to the Secret Service Scandal and GSA was a bad idea (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Morons) |
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Ad for life-saving EpiPen pulled from air after outraged parents of children with food allergies protest that it makes them look like bad parents. Because I'd rather my child die than suffer the embarrassment of being considered a bad parent (blogs.babycenter.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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All porno movies produced in Simi Valley must now be reviewed by city's police department to ensure proper condom use. Breathless, sweaty detectives promise to put in as many hours as it takes to service protection (losangeles.cbslocal.com)
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Octomom's house now looking like every other home with 14 kids and no parental income (tmz.com)
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Townhouse used as location for Sarah Jessica Parker's residence in Sex and the City sells to anonymous buyer. Rent to remain stable (dailymail.co.uk)
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Finally some good news for Mets fans: Not only does Jason Bay's injury spare them from having to watch him flail at the plate every day, it may also prevent his $17 million option from vesting next year (espn.go.com)
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Side effect of all those foreclosed and abandoned homes? Millions and millions of hungry, blood-sucking parasites. And along with bankers, there are a lot of mosquitoes, too (wrcbtv.com)
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Rural kids, parents angry about Labor Dept. rule banning farm chores. City kids still have green light to sell drugs, their bodies and stolen car stereos (news.yahoo.com)
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Separate ways, but no longer worlds apart: Journey, Steve Perry reunion could happen on farewell tour (tampabay.com)
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Tue April 24, 2012
Mon April 23, 2012
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Meet some of the country's biggest media companies, which own dozens of newspapers and TV news operations that are lobbying against transparency (motherjones.com)
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| (Some Regular Citizen) |
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Is it okay to fly down the Garden State Parkway to Atlantic City doing 100 mph in your exotic car? Apparently it is if you have a state police escort (nbcnewyork.com)
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The Republican Party's economic platform in 2012: What Bush did, "just updated" (thinkprogress.org)
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Forest Whitaker adopts elementary school as part of a new NEA project (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)
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From the 'well that didn't take long' department, John Huntsman is already backing down on his comparison between the GOP and Communist China (latimes.com)
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17 elaborately staged theme park ride photos (mentalfloss.com)
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Author of article "how to delete yourself from the Internet" apparently thinks that's possible without setting off EMP devices to fry every Internet connected computer on earth simultaneously (news.yahoo.com)
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"Among the 243 porn websites Judge Polito's county computer attempted to access are chubbyparade.com, hugeheavybreasts.com, bigbras-club.com, portofdebauchery.com and teenagesextape.com"... All rise (suntimes.com)
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How'd you like them apples? A little too much, apparently (shortlist.com)
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Australia's Parliamentary Speaker pulls a McGreevey. Crikey (guardian.co.uk)
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Extremely rare adult white killer whale spotted in the wild with his black counterparts. The whale appears to be healthy, socialized, not followed by mall security (bbc.co.uk)
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13-year-old girl sued for accidentally hitting a classmate in the eye with a tennis ball during a tennis lesson. This is why someday soon you're going to be forced to buy third-party insurance if you want your child to play sports (couriermail.com.au)
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Springtime in Germany means annual near-orgasmic obsession with asparagus has begun. "Who knows what the mixture of phallic symbolism and fertile soil means in the German psyche" (bbc.co.uk)
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University of Florida cuts computer science department to save $1.7 million, adds $2 million to athletic department (forbes.com)
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Sun April 22, 2012
Sat April 21, 2012
Fri April 20, 2012
Thu April 19, 2012
Wed April 18, 2012
Tue April 17, 2012
 |
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As Europe prepares for the next round of bailouts, officials promise yet again that this time will be different (telegraph.co.uk)
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Now that the Avengers movie is finally coming out, what can Marvel Studios do to top it? Plenty, apparently. "We have the comics. When you're producing a story a month for 45 years, there are enough great (ones)" (io9.com)
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Hillary Clinton, party animal - the morning after (nypost.com)
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Upon realizing they have no other option, the Tea Party is starting to warm up to Mitt Romney (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Austin Police Department says officer followed procedure when he showed up for a domestic disturbance at the wrong address, pulled his gun on the startled resident, and shot his dog dead in front of him in a span of four seconds (kvue.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
|
Jennifer Aniston reportedly cares, or doesn't, about engagement. She's moved on. Apparently the media hasn't (wpix.com)
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Researchers find evidence that "helicopter parenting" pre-dates the invention of the actual helicopter by nearly 2,000 years (bbc.co.uk)
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Apparently so many teachers are having sex with their students that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife office has had to start busting pervs (katu.com)
|
Mon April 16, 2012
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Apparently the only person in baseball who doesn't think Kevin Youkilis is passionate about the game is his manager (foxnews.com)
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| |
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Tea Party speaker: "We will not be silenced by f*ggots." Clearly this is a tea-party colloquialism that somehow relates to economic issues. Perhaps he meant "Keynesian acolytes" (huffingtonpost.com)
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The elusive Majorana Fermion may have been found after decades of searching; the subatomic particle (which is its own antiparticle) was first theorized in 1937 (msnbc.msn.com)
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Research finds a strong correlation between body art (piercings and/or tattoos) and unsafe sex, fighting, heavy drinking, and participating in completely obvious studies (news.com.au)
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Part-time municipal prosecutor arrested for his day job as a criminal attorney. A *CRIMINAL* attorney (nj.com)
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Romney offering "preferred status" to Inauguration for donors who cough up $50,000. Still unsure where the party tent will be set up to get a good view of Obama's swearing in, though (buzzfeed.com)
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 |
|
Fourteen short-lived film-to-TV adaptations. Remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Parenthood? Yeah, neither does anyone else (avclub.com)
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| |
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Dwyane Wade in post-game interview discusses the game, his teammates, and the particular shade of dress the sideline reporter is wearing (youtube.com)
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|
Feeding tubes, once reserved for the comatose and the terminally ill, have now become a hip fashion accessory as they are part of the latest diet craze (gma.yahoo.com)
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| |
|
American Nazi Party gets its first lobbyist. Know who else lobbied the Germans? (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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| |
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The fact that global warming is "an unproven theory pushed by tree-huggers" hasn't stopped the five nations bordering the Arctic from preparing their militaries to seize the Northwest Passage the moment it thaws (news.yahoo.com)
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 |
Indian child, separated by circumstance from his family at five and adopted by Australians, finds his mom over 20 years later by using Google Earth (news.cnet.com)
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Sun April 15, 2012
Sat April 14, 2012
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|
Movie analyst urges studios to join real world, stop charging same ticket price for every movie, whether it's sparkly vampire crapfest, brainless action crapfest, or sensitive Oscar-bait crapfest (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Senator Orrin Hatch (R-eally pissed) is "doggone offended" by "radical libertarians," threatens to punch them in the mouth. Ah, the sound of a neo-con where the tea party is challenging his incumbency (reason.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
When asked if she would consider running for President, Dolly Parton responds, "We've had enough boobs in the White House" (foxnewsinsider.com)
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| |
|
Tampa Fark party at Tiny Tap on May 5, because, why not? Anyone in? (fark.com)
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 |
|
Over 1,000 hayseeds descend on the Quad Cities to partake in a massive Square and Circle Dancing competition. "We call things like scissors to banjo and scissors sidecar" (qctimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Lots of baby girls born this year will probably live to Rue the name their parents give them in a fit of "Hunger Games" fandom (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)
|
| (Some Granny) |
|
73 yr old grandma who supplied 40% of the marijuana to Tulsa and parts of Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri arrested with 4 lbs of pot, 2 guns and $276,000 in cash (thedaily.com)
|
Fri April 13, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
If you're the 7- or 8-year-old boy who spotted the abandoned penguin egg at the Woodland Park Zoo, then zoo officials as well as the penguin who hatched would like a word (today.seattletimes.com)
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| |
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"Like many readers, I don't particularly empathize with chickens. It's their misfortune that they lack big eyes" (startribune.com)
|
| (WLUK-TV) |
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If you're having problems finding the night deposit box at the local funeral parlor, you really shouldn't leave the package next door (fox11online.com)
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 |
|
New Hampshire police chief lived his life like in the movies. Unfortunately, it was the part about getting shot one week before retirement (sunjournal.com)
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| |
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Scientists say that having a second x chromosone apparently makes it much more difficult to distinguish between the gas and brake pedals on a car. Hey, don't get mad at me, this is SCIENCE (news.yahoo.com)
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The peacekeeper slowly entered, surprising the illegal gambling party. He knew these men were among the rich and powerful, but the tin shield on his chest proclaimed justice for all. Then one of the gamblers, in desperation, pulled a gun (wrcbtv.com)
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Strawberry leopards forever (news.nationalgeographic.com)
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Thu April 12, 2012
Wed April 11, 2012
Tue April 10, 2012
Mon April 09, 2012
Sun April 08, 2012
Sat April 07, 2012
Fri April 06, 2012
Thu April 05, 2012
| |
|
$200 DIY house would provide a perfect minimalist existence on any $200,000+ parcel of land you might be lucky enough to find (dailymail.co.uk)
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| |
|
You may want to study his current photographs, because Charles Manson is up for parole again, and if he is released he very well might EAT YOUR CHILDREN (huffingtonpost.com)
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Bad: Kid doesn't have class picture permission slip. Good: They let him take part in the class pic anyway. Fark: They cover his face, sort of.... (click to see what may be one of the best uses of Farktography ever) (huffingtonpost.com)
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 |
|
John Calipari says he is not interested in coaching another professional basketball team (tracking.si.com)
|
| (The Alton Telegraph) |
|
One would think that they would stop parking their cars in the same spot (thetelegraph.com)
|
| (Some Pedestrian) |
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Not news: 14-year-old has driving lesson in parking lot. News: at 8:30 PM, with her family, including the baby, in the vehicle. FARK: she hits another vehicle, air bag deploys, she keeps driving. Then it gets weird (ksla.com)
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 |
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The underlying question behind this years' otherwise entertaining GOP primary season is when (not if) the religious right will move on from the Republican-in-name-only Republican Party (thedailybeast.com)
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Michelle Obama appeared on Tuesday night's episode of "The Biggest Loser." Apparently to point at contestants and shout FATTY FATTY (ca.news.yahoo.com)
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| |
|
This may come a a shock to you, but legal experts say that the federal judge who ordered the administration to "clarify" Obama's remarks on judicial review , is a partisan hack who has wildly overstepped his authority (cnn.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
You thought I was crazy to build an anti-Russia bunker. You thought I was crazy to prepare to fight zombies. Well, who's crazy now? (heraldsun.com.au)
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 |
|
Woman severely burned in Wicker Park fire. Lord Summerisle unavailable for comment (chicagotribune.com)
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| |
|
10 reasons naked mole rats will inherit the Earth. Apparently looking like a wang is an evolutionary advantage (io9.com)
|
| (Some Body Hackers) |
|
Targeted nanoparticles showing success in beating cancer, eating the USS Enterprise (web.mit.edu)
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 |
|
Armed Forces Tea Party, for when your politics are more important than your service (cbsnews.com)
|
 |
|
Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter are taking their special brand of hatred and venom--normally reserved for Democrats--and turning on each other, arguing over the biggest idiot in the Republican party (dailycaller.com)
|
Wed April 04, 2012
Tue April 03, 2012
Mon April 02, 2012
Sun April 01, 2012
Sat March 31, 2012
Fri March 30, 2012
Thu March 29, 2012
Wed March 28, 2012
 |
|
GOP rising star leaves party, adding, "I've fought in a war and I've seen the enemy. We don't have enemies in our political environment here...but in today's political environment, you're expected to play the game" (blog.sfgate.com)
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 |
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From the I never saw THAT coming department. A wild bear saves a man from a mountain lion attack (blogs.ajc.com)
|
| (Slanch Report) |
|
Jose Canseco preaches the good word about global warming and the plight of polar bears. Oh yeah, and apparently he thinks Al Gore is dead (slanchreport.com)
|
| |
|
Woman plants herb garden containing parsley, rosemary, ex-husband, basil, lavender...wait, what? (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)
|
| |
|
Romneybot 2.0 launches talkshow.exe subroutine, attempts to load regularguy.dat into newly formatted partition (wrcbtv.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Man scrawls a huge painted death threat across garage door. "According to the Police Department, he is not breaking the law. The city is not allowed to regulate what people paint on their homes" (kens5.com)
|
| |
|
Bike parkour is the best parkour (youtube.com)
|
Tue March 27, 2012
| |
 |
Dick Cheney's heart plant surgery, Bob Uecker's statue juuust a bit outside of Miller Park, and a special report from Trevor McSmokingballs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/18 - 3/24 (fark.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
 |
New book coming out by Zack Parsons, author of "My Tank Is Fight!" This one is called Liminal States, and comes with its own music video (liminalstates.com)
|
| |
|
Friend of Zimmerman defends his use of the slur "coon asses" stating that the phrase is used proudly in parts of the country by people to describe themselves (thinkprogress.org)
|
| |
|
Good news: Syria has accepted the UN peace plan, except for the ceasefire part (news.yahoo.com)
|
| |
|
Apparently FEMA made a study to see if Fallout could happen. "If you are thinking about (a city) being wiped off the face of the earth, that's not what happens" (sfgate.com)
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| |
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Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown (R) wants voters to know he's not part of the GOP's War on Women, and that he learns a lot from his wife and daughters. What specifically? "How to cook, sew, and clean" (google.com)
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| |
|
Coachless New Orleans Saints throw a Hail Mary to Bill Parcells (espn.go.com)
|
| |
|
Bernanke says US needs more growth. Apparently he never checked his spam folder (reuters.com)
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| |
|
Come one, who wouldn't want to pay $50 for a picture with a guy who has absolutely not chance of winning his party's nomination? (cbsnews.com)
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 |
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Derick A. Thoene, 28, walked into Iowa City hall at 11:37 a.m. Thoene allegedly approached the lobby receptionist and said, 'I have your parking attendant in the trunk of my car, do you want him dead or alive?' (press-citizen.com)
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 |
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Apparently, Soul Asylum is still around and has signed a new record deal (hollywoodreporter.com)
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 |
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How movies that make you say "Jesus at least my life doesn't suck THAT bad" make people feel better. Apparently it was a mystery (sciencedaily.com)
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| |
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Man arrested for repeatedly flashing people walking around a park and eating a bag of marijuana. Thank god he wasn't wearing a hoodie (press-citizen.com)
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 |
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If you want to celebrate getting a new job, particularly in this economy, that's cool. The Harrisburg Police, however, tend to frown on celebrations that involve firing guns wildly into the air (pennlive.com)
|
| (Sci_Tech Today) |
|
Peking Man fossils that were lost during WWII, while in transit to US for safekeeping, may be buried beneath parking lot in Qinhuangdao China (sci-tech-today.com)
|
Mon March 26, 2012
Sun March 25, 2012
Sat March 24, 2012
Fri March 23, 2012
Thu March 22, 2012
Wed March 21, 2012
Tue March 20, 2012
Mon March 19, 2012
| |
|
Fishery closed by killer lice. Apparently those little combs and shampoos don't work on trout (bbc.co.uk)
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 |
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If you've been killing people in video games since you were 2 it will help prepare you for the cutthroat world of Corporate America (kansas.com)
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| |
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Apparently the Mark of the Beast is actually ABBA (cbsnews.com)
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| |
|
Florida's governor expected to sign a bill doubling and tripling fines for parking illegally in handicap spaces, which in Florida will impact no one at all (sun-sentinel.com)
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| |
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When the son of a celebrity turns 25, they usually receive a new car, vacation home, or at least have a huge party. But then, if you're Kris Jenner, you give your son a mostly-nude pic of yourself. "Gee, thanks Mom" (dailymail.co.uk)
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 |
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Volvo signs someone named Jeremy Lin to an endorsement deal. Apparently, he was a big deal a while back (blogs.wsj.com)
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 |
|
Spain's solar energy plant keeps working at night due to the addition of a buffer, which is apparently a totally new and unique concept never before attempted in any intermittent system anywhere (physorg.com)
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|
Good: Going to Bottoms Up to watch strippers. Bad: Getting carjacked in the parking lot. Farkworthy: Having to put on a show for the ladies as you watch your car ride off in to the sunset (jacksonville.com)
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| |
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How is boddy died? How is boddy died? How life get departed. They need to do way in stained brains who kill thier boddys. because these boddy can frigth back? (salon.com)
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 |
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Those sexually explicit emails I sent my secretary were all part of a brilliant plan to expose corruption. You should all be thanking me (indystar.com)
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Three years into the Most Transparent Administration Ever, how many states get an "A" grade for transparency, accountability, and low corruption? How does "zero" sound? And you'll never guess who actually ranks highest (foxnews.com)
|
Sun March 18, 2012
Sat March 17, 2012
Fri March 16, 2012
| (Elliot Wave International) |
|
Elliot Wave International compares FARK's non sequitur headlines to the reporting by the financial news media (3rd section) (elliottwave.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
If the school won't release your kid to you, stripping off and singing religious songs in the parking lot may not help your cause (delcotimes.com)
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| |
|
Arizona Republicans remove "circumcision requirement" from bill, keep the stupid part (huffingtonpost.com)
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| |
|
Fricken laser beams sold separately (gizmodo.com)
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 |
|
"Joe Biden is TOTALLY unprepared for the Presidency" according to: (a) Romney (b) Gingrich (c) Osama bin Laden (big1059.com)
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| |
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Latvians celebrate the memory of their soldiers who fought in WWII. Difficulty? They were part of the SS and fought for the Germans (abcnews.go.com)
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| |
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What can you do with heavy-duty suction cups, a heat gun and guitar picks? Take apart the new iPad 3, of course (news.com.au)
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| |
|
Skateboarder Ryan Sheckler brought a female acquaintance back to his Vegas hotel room. While he snoozed, she helped herself to $100K in parting gifts (bittenandbound.com)
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| |
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Floridians afraid that Movies like "Project X" are making kids want to party, get drunk, do drugs, and break things. "They never would have came up with that idea themselves" (sun-sentinel.com)
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| |
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MN Senate Majority leader has affair with staffer, staffer is fired. Staffer now suing for being fired for gender; threatens to release names of other staffers having affairs with legislators. Diffculty: Guess party and genders involved (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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We are Romney. Lower your expectations and surrender your votes. We will add your political distinctiveness to our own. Your Tea Party will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile (chicagotribune.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Marijuana grow lamp sparks house blaze, firefighters able to knock down the flames once they dispersed the large crowd that had gathered downwind (wdsu.com)
|
Thu March 15, 2012
Wed March 14, 2012
| (ktvb.com) |
|
Bomb scare in trailer park threatens to cause tens of dollars in improvements (ktvb.com)
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Since VA lawmakers are keen about telling women how to handle their lady parts, women have flocked to Facebook to ask them for health advice and reproductive opinions (dailykos.com)
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34 percent of DC singles rate themselves "heavy drinkers," the highest among US cities surveyed. Which reminds me -- when's the next DC Fark Party? (washingtonpost.com)
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My client wasn't drunk, your honor, when he ran a stop sign and hit the other vehicle, but his Bentley apparently was (gma.yahoo.com)
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In today's photojournal challenge, the ingredients are: grassy park, Maasai warriors, and cricket bats (abc.net.au)
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It might have been a Bipartisan Payroll Tax Cut, but it's going to raise the Obama Deficit (content.usatoday.com)
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| (MIT) |
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MIT wants to build a better parking lot (web.mit.edu)
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Teacher tells student to urinate in a bucket after refusing to give bathroom pass. Parents extremely pissed (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Departing Goldman Sachs exec not only burns bridge, but hunts down bridge designer and sets fire to river with op-ed piece (nytimes.com)
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New York Daily News loves the mocking tone of FARK's recent culinary headline (next to last paragraph) (nydailynews.com)
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Already filled out your brackets? You might want to double check that, particularly if you had Syracuse winning it (espn.go.com)
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Paramount announces plans to ruin this Christmas and next Christmas (deadline.com)
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COD kid going nuts on his mom to the left, parenting and audio authentication experts to the right (kotaku.com)
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Tue March 13, 2012
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Someone finally figures out that selling John Wilkes Booth bobble-heads in the Gettysburg National Park gift shop might be in bad taste (chicagotribune.com)
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: Bi-partisan bill promising economic growth aims to roll back depression-era regulatory safeguards and disclosure requirements (bloomberg.com)
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The bite caused her to lose part of an ear; hear no evil. She nearly lost her eyesight; see no evil. But she could speak and when she did she said SPIDER (gma.yahoo.com)
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"Websites such as the indispensable Drudge Report, Times 24/7, Real Clear Politics, Digg, Fark and Reddit collect news from sources spread across the Web." Wait... are we indispensable now? (4th paragraph) (webpronews.com)
|
| (Press Herald) |
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Fark credited for embracing food critic's down-home sweetness and racking up many views: "I had never heard of going viral before and I didn't know what that means, so I'm just taking it all in my stride" (5th paragraph) (pressherald.com)
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Cleveland.com recognizes Fark's snark for an Olive Garden reviewer (10th paragraph shoutout) (cleveland.com)
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Another day, another five theme parks you've never heard about (techeblog.com)
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Sarah Palin says Obama campaign took her words "out of context" and "heavily edited" them in new ad. In other news, Palin is apparently unaware of how political ads have worked for the past 5,000 years (politico.com)
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First two days of NCAA tournament to cost $175 million in lost productivity according to studies put out by Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc and Department of Pulling Random Numbers out of our Asses (foxnews.com)
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Apparently this helicopter parent is flying Airwolf. Tag is for parent (now.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you're on parole for having sex with a student, it might be best if you don't have that same student in your closet when your parole officer stops by for a visit (necn.com)
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Pedro Pimentel Rios is sentenced to 6,060 years in prison for his part in the massacre of 201 people in Guatemala, but with good behavior he'll be out in half that time (bbc.co.uk)
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More and more doctors are standing up to parents who refuse to vaccinate their children and telling them to go fark themselves (yourlife.usatoday.com)
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"Even the mayor of Hokitika, Maureen Pugh, didn't shy away from the stallion juice: 'I thought it would be creamy and curdled. The grossest part was it hitting me in the face'" (stuff.co.nz)
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Your 6th grade son's team loses their basketball game. Do you: c) beat the crap out of the opposing team's coach and bite off part of his ear? (content.usatoday.com)
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Mon March 12, 2012
Sun March 11, 2012
Sat March 10, 2012
Fri March 09, 2012
Thu March 08, 2012
Wed March 07, 2012
| |
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School District to Parents: We've suspended the hot middle-school science teacher who appears in pr0n. Also? It would be helpful if you'd discourage your child from watching her extracurricular activities online (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Wisconsin Senator who wants to make single parenting illegal wishes to clarify his stance. He is only doing it because women are "trained to lie about planned pregnancies" and need to be held accountable (rightwingwatch.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kids: You need to MAINTAIN at the party. If you pass out, your drunken friends will carry you to the car and kill you on the way home. Actually, they'll kill you and themselves, along with some other random drunk guy. This story is a mess (hometownannapolis.com)
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Mitt Romney is the Galactus of the GOP primaries, apparently because he has the power to consume and drain the life out of everything he touches on a planetary scale (slate.com)
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Brazilian late-night shows are a far sight better than their American counterparts: Exhibit A (youtube.com)
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Good news, TFettes: Here's a list of all the Vegas party pools where you'll be able to go topless for the Fark Convention March 30-April 1 (travel.usatoday.com)
|
| (Post City) |
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Earth's most powerful civilizations -- the Romans, the Greeks, the Chinese -- all made a big deal about eating an entire suckling pig as part of a magical ritual. Now the Canadians are discovering the allure (postcity.com)
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Parks & Rec films two season finales to throw everyone off the scent of whether or not Leslie Knope wins the election (deadline.com)
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Imagine a country where there's: No Obamacare, No income tax, A complete free market, No Unions, No Govt involved in Business, Health Care, Labor matters or pretty much anything else except national security. Here's the Tea Party Heaven (democraticunderground.com)
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Imagine your job involves flying across the Atlantic to personally verify the world's largest bikini parade (blog.al.com)
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Tue March 06, 2012
Mon March 05, 2012
Sun March 04, 2012
Sat March 03, 2012
Fri March 02, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
Miley Cyrus quotes Laurence Krauss on Twitter, her fans skip the "startdust" part and go directly to the "forget Jesus" past with obvious results (thegoodatheist.net)
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President Obama calls up Sandra Fluke, the woman whom Rush Limbaugh maligned, telling her that she should and her parents "should be proud" (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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For $86,500, you can buy a one bedroom house that will be missing two screws, take forever to build with incomprehensible instructions, and fall apart after one year (newsfeed.time.com)
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Royal family scheduled at 2012 Olympics. Queen Elizabeth II to open stadium events, Camilla Parker Bowles to open the equestrian events with Charles riding her over the ceremonial first jump (usatoday.com)
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Police cut straight to the heart of the Arizona criminal gambling empire when they raid elderly women's poker party and summon 98 yr old and 40 others to court (azcentral.com)
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It's 2012. Increased demand for technical and medical workers, so as a state what do you logically do? Why start closing entire engineering, computer science departments and whole colleges of course (cnbc.com)
|
| (Smart Money) |
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Apparently, the majority consumers are too dumb to realize that stores use various pricing gimmicks to make it seem like they're giving discounts when they're really not, like the old $20 to $19.99 "sale" (smartmoney.com)
|
Thu March 01, 2012
Wed February 29, 2012
Tue February 28, 2012
| |
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When Punking™ a Federal Election®, registering the cell phone to a "Pierre Poutine" of Separatist Street, Joliette, Que., is the coup de grace (cbc.ca)
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Mitt Romney decries despicable tactic of voting in other party's primary, used by such miscreants as Mitt Romney (dailykos.com)
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It is now completely legal for you and your passengers to extend body parts out of your car. And border collies are being paid $3500 to get the flock out of town (stltoday.com)
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The bears know kung-fu, I REPEAT, the bears know kung-fu. Prepare battlestations (youtube.com)
|
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"Rick Santorum, meet my son; he has a degenerative disease that's left him blind, paralyzed, and increasingly nonresponsive. If I had known before he was born, I would have saved him from suffering" (slate.com)
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Just when you've come to grips with rising gas prices, prepare yourself for water tripling in price (clickorlando.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Long-delayed Acme park on the verge of approval. Attractions include: The Rocket Sled, The Catapult, The Anvil Drop and Exploding Tennis (bellinghamherald.com)
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Paramount Pictures is suing to stop the publication of a Godfather prequel novel, claiming they want to protect the integrity and reputation of the franchise. Obviously, they forgot that they made Godfather 3 (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Finally, a Star Trek wall intercom that makes your door go "woosh." With video of a one-man nerd parade (aggrogate.com)
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Gordon Gekko has filmed his PSA as part of his release (cnn.com)
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Police describe meth-lab blast as particularly violent. Apparently where they're from, most blasts are little fuzzy cuddly things and quite docile (tulsaworld.com)
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Five bionic body parts that can turn you into a real cyborg (techeblog.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Okay. Now don't laugh. I can barely get through the sentence as it is...but...apparently, Rick Santorum robocalls are seeking Democrat support for him (detroitnews.com)
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Republican Party started out anti-Mormon. Tomorrow will reveal if it still is (sltrib.com)
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Even Albuquerque PD aren't immune to true love; delay hauling him in for a parole violation long enough to let him get married at a Chevron station (dailymail.co.uk)
|
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Apparently enough kids drink energy drinks in elementary schools to warrant a whole article about why they should be banned (slate.com)
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"Hello jet engine on a truck. My name is Juan Pablo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" (washingtonpost.com)
|
Mon February 27, 2012
Sun February 26, 2012
Sat February 25, 2012
Fri February 24, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
Three men participate in fraudulent hand job for insurance money. Hand still solo. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker unavailable for comment (charlotte.cbslocal.com)
|
| |
|
You're not going to believe this but Paris Hilton's new single "Drunk Text" and the accompanying video may possibly be the worst thing in the entire history of ever (w/video) (nydailynews.com)
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A new vaccine could drastically reduce heroin addiction, rummaging through parents' LP collection for Velvet Underground (guardian.co.uk)
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The movie "Wanderlust" does not do the authentic hippy justice and instead reduces its hippies to caricature, stereotype, and near parody. C'mon, Hollywood, our hippies deserve better than this (usatoday.com)
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Riot police sent to Orlando mall because people there were A) part of the Occupy movement, B) protesting the war in Afghanistan, or C) trying to buy glow-in-the-dark shoes (miamiherald.com)
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Now you too can prepare for the non existent zombie threat with real Hornady bullets. Subby is waiting for cherry PIE ammo (omaha.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Why don't you little punks get off my lawn and tune your Walkmans to hear what you apparently call "filthy dubstep" (boxtu.com)
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 |
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Apparently female reporters are using XX sexy pics for their Twitter accounts. Tag is for what author thinks constitutes sexy (mediabistro.com)
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Asinine: Councillor celebrated his re-election by sexually assaulting a schoolgirl at a drunken party. Classy: Blames his sons and their friends for child porn on his PC. Bonus: Was Chairman of Child Welfare Committee (bbc.co.uk)
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Romney: The car companies should have been bailed out by private capital instead of the government. Former car czar: Uh, we talked to every single possible private financer and nobody wanted any part of it (nytimes.com)
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Ford adds $3.8 Billion to their pension plan. Apparently, investing in Mazda stock has really paid off (reuters.com)
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 |
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"Jon Huntsman calls for third party" Uh, how about America First Party, American Party, American Populist Party, American Socialist Party, American Third Position Party, or the America's Party. And that's just the A's Jon (rawstory.com)
|
| |
|
How gamers argue religion: Paradise Lost becomes "non-canonical fan fiction" (kotaku.com)
|
| |
|
NorCal Vegas Liver Warm-Up party: Friday, Feb 24th @ 7:30 PM @ Lefty O'Doul's. Drew will be there (fark.com)
|
| (carl lavin.wordpress) |
|
FARK is not "for readers who take offense readily or who take sarcasm or hyperbole as literal statements of truth" (6th paragraph) (carllavin.wordpress.com)
|
Thu February 23, 2012
 |
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Meat Loaf wants you to know two things: he prefers being called Meat, not Mr. Loaf; and he has had several paranormal encounters in his lifetime (spinner.com)
|
| (U.S. Naval Institute) |
|
On Feb 23, 1945, a photo was taken that would become the most copied and parodied image in history. Don't believe it? Just take a look at the examples (usni.org)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency director: China is preparing for space warfare and they've copied the plans for a Death Star from a Lego kit (freebeacon.com)
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| |
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Jennifer Love Hewitt (moderate stiffening) to star in TV show about prostitution (full rigidity) on Lifetime (some softening) with Cybill Sheppard (complete flaccidity) (content.usatoday.com)
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Scottish member of the UK Parliment gives a Glasgow kiss to a fellow MP. Why yes alcohol was involved, how did you guess? (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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Meet the British lawyer fighting Islam, one parking ticket at a time (foreignpolicy.com)
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Come for a party with the stars in the Florida Keys. No, not stars like Lady Gaga and that Bieber thing. Real stars (washingtonpost.com)
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14 year old girl dies at party from inhaling helium, party guests tried to revive her by pinching her lip corners and letting the helium out with little squeaks to no avail (news.yahoo.com)
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Maryland lawmaker proposes that drunk driving asshats be mandated to participate in the ignition interlock program, even on a first offense, if their DUI happens while there are children in the car (wtop.com)
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| |
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It may be hard to believe, but apparently a few of the statements made during last night's GOP debate were a just a tiny little off the mark in the truthiness department. Fact checking, how does it work? (wrcbtv.com)
|
| (Madison East) |
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If you are going to be an impostor do you: a) become an airline pilot, b) weasel your way into a party at the White House, or c) become general manager at Denny's? (madisoneast.channel3000.com)
|
Wed February 22, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
Ever flirt with someone in a park? Congratulations, you're under arrest (gay.americablog.com)
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 |
|
Former DNC chair to buy the two most prestigious and influential newspapers in a critical swing-state with funds provided by Democratic donors. Of course the newspapers will remain legit and non-parti..Ok I couldn't not laugh (washingtontimes.com)
|
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Want season club seats in the new 49ers stadium? Prepare to cough up between $20,000 - $80,000 for a seat license. Hopefully you won't want a pair of seats (sacbee.com)
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 |
|
Warmer planet could be dominated by mosquitoes, ticks, rodents, jellyfish, tea party (scientificamerican.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Grandfather who accused Austin PD of overreacting to him "babysitting while white" forced to recant part of his blog post after police release dash cam video of the incident (thegrio.com)
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| |
|
Apparently women are addicted to some website called Pederast or something (washingtonpost.com)
|
| |
|
Georgia Dems propose vasectomy ban in response to anti-abortion bill. Republican men look prepared to start a "My vas deferens, my choice" movement (huffingtonpost.com)
|
| |
|
"When skeptics complain that global warming activists are apparently willing to go to any lengths--including lying--to advance their worldview, I'd say one of the movement's top priorities should be not proving them right" (theatlantic.com)
|
| (The BigLead) |
|
Cubs fan buys domain name for Red Sox new spring training park and redirects it to the Yankees homepage. In other news, only three more weeks until the Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the post-season (thebiglead.com)
|
| |
|
Indiana's Speaker of the House Brian Bosma (R) responds to Rep. Bob Morris' absurd claims about the Girl Scouts connections to Planned Parenthood by passing out Girl Scout cookies on the floor of the House (indystar.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Man arrested for setting his mouse on fire. And no, that's not a typo. However apparently it is news (kjrh.com)
|
| |
|
Church to Ash Wednesday parishioners: Would you like fries with your penitence? (wtop.com)
|
| |
|
With all other crime taken care of, Rio de Janeiro takes aim at Carnival urinators. Fark: The first part of that sentence is actually close to being pretty accurate (news.yahoo.com)
|
| |
|
Band plays intro theme for Game of Thrones at house party (youtube.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Mark Cuban saves St. Patrick's Day parade. "I just thought it was fair that other people should be able to kill as many brain cells on Greenville Avenue as I have in my life" (irishcentral.com)
|
| |
|
Santorum: "There's no such thing as a liberal Christian." Apart from Christ, apparently (huffingtonpost.com)
|
| |
|
Bam Margera got cuffed and stuffed in New Orleans for Mardi Gras transgressions that were apparently limited to swimming with his clothes on in a pool. #lame, #jackass (bittenandbound.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Writer insults zombies by comparing them to American Idol's slow pacing (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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| |
|
Little Green Footballs hears about Heartland threatening to sue them over illegally obtained info. (Yeah, Downfall parody) (youtube.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
 |
Photoshop Theme: Fark Vegas World Party 2012 predictions (pledgebank.com)
|
Tue February 21, 2012
| |
|
In the future, will you feel bad if you send your parents to a nursing home staffed by robots? (slate.com)
|
 |
|
Scientist makes paralyzed rats walk again. Still no cure for cancer (statesman.com)
|
| |
|
Apparently, the idea of calling 911 repeatedly to ask for a taxi hasn't gotten old for homeless guys in Hudson (wtsp.com)
|
 |
|
Ukranian parkour dog. With much wagging happy crazy jumpiness (liveleak.com)
|
| |
|
Dominic Strauss-Kahn, who definitely didn't rape that maid in New York, or the other several women who alleged it, nor has he frequented prostitutes, is now being held on suspicion of using company funds for prostitute sex parties (msnbc.msn.com)
|
| |
|
Apparently former VP Dan Qualye has taken a new gig at the White House press office (nydailynews.com)
|
| |
|
Cinema accidentally shows trailer for The Devil Inside to toddlers. Number of angry parents already surpasses those who have actually seen the whole farking movie (shortlist.com)
|
| |
|
Alan Rickman, he of the ladypart-melting voice, turns 66 today. Here's his reading of Sonnet 130, known on Fark as "Ode To A Girl With Sharp Knees" (youtube.com)
|
| (Thanks but no tanks) |
|
Thanksbutnotanks.com: "The commenters are the best part of FARK" (thanksbutnotanks.fr33agents.com)
|
| |
|
21-year-old Norwegian makes chess cool and earns 1.5 million a year in endorsements. Bonus: video includes a segment where he walks away from a game vs Garry Kasparov because he was BORED (youtube.com)
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| |
|
In the American healthcare system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the TV shows which write plots about diseases, and the viewers who diagnose themselves from them. These are their stories (salon.com)
|
Mon February 20, 2012
Sun February 19, 2012
Sat February 18, 2012
Fri February 17, 2012
Thu February 16, 2012
 |
|
Scientists who are are apparently unclear on the whole concept build a working brain tumor (labspaces.net)
|
| |
|
GOP Congressman: Democrats engage in "the most insidious form of slavery remaining in the world today." Apart from actual slavery, apparently (rawstory.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
School goes on lockdown because of A) a bomb threat B) reports of a student with a gun C) a parent dressed as Mickey Mouse (vindy.com)
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| |
|
Neighbor from Hell wears sunglasses at night, flashes crotch at kids birthday party, flips the bird to news reporter (myfoxtwincities.com)
|
| |
|
Panasonic to stop manufacturing VCRs for Japanese market. If you're unsure what a VCR is, ask your parents (nypost.com)
|
 |
|
Chinese fans of Lin won't let facts stop them from claiming him as their own "He's from China" "No, he was born in the US" "Well his parents were" "No they're from Taiwan" (npr.org)
|
| |
|
HBO to Netflix: Fark You. Netflix to HBO: Right back at ya, pardner (sfgate.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Apparently CPAC was full of trollops and whoors and is called 'The Mardi Gras of the Right'. Well, there were a lot of boobs openly displayed, so bring beads next year (damndirtyrino.com)
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 |
|
World's first space robot signs "Hello, World". Expected to find Sarah Connor, solve FizzBuzz in less than twelve parsecs (space.com)
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|
Teenager discovers Internet video of her parents at a swinger club. With helpful pic of what "swinging" parents might look like (thelocal.de)
|
Wed February 15, 2012
Tue February 14, 2012
| |
|
Not news: GOP tries to get amendment into bipartisan highway bill. Awjeeznotthisshiatagain: Allowing all employers to deny paying for birth control related health services (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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I don't expect witty repartee kid, just give me a sign when the diaper is full so I can wait it out in the basement (myfoxdc.com)
|
| |
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Apparently, it's good for democracy that billionaires can buy the president with a few million dollar super PAC contributions (slate.com)
|
| (Vimeo) |
|
After 32 years, subby discovers his hippie parents were the subjects of a weird documentary about restoring a historic tugboat. Bonus: Dad was the dump truck driver killed in the opening scenes of "Maximum Overdrive" (vimeo.com)
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| |
|
Santorum calls Occupy protesters 'radical element', apparently unaware that the Occupy movement is so 2011 (wrcbtv.com)
|
| |
|
Airline almost nobody even remembers, and nobody misses, prepares to return from the dead (boston.com)
|
 |
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Greg Brady, Danny Partridge, Sherilyn Fenn, Johnny Fever, Alice Cooper, and Bigfoot. Together finally (insidetv.ew.com)
|
| (Ogden Standard-Examiner) |
|
Dads, before showing "The Smurfs" DVD from your laptop at your kid's birthday party, make sure you didn't store porn movies on it as well (standard.net)
|
Mon February 13, 2012
Sun February 12, 2012
Sat February 11, 2012
Fri February 10, 2012
Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
Tue February 07, 2012
Mon February 06, 2012
 |
|
Lana Del Rey's album is #1 in Britain. Apparently, they don't get "Saturday Night Live" over there (starpulse.com)
|
| (My Northwest) |
|
Amazon hopes to satisfy customers that enjoy long lines, crowded parking lots, and surly retail clerks (mynorthwest.com)
|
| |
|
Daredevil, who obviously has a death wish, is preparing to break the sound barrier with a leap from the edge of space from 23 miles high, not deploying his parachute until he's 5000 feet from the ground (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| |
|
Not news: Conservatives hate Planned Parenthood. WTF: 51% of them oppose them for cancer screenings too (dailykos.com)
|
| |
|
High school student tests her own genetic abnormality in order to reassure her parents. Turns out she's just a teenager (nj.com)
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 |
|
Louisiana congressman thought an Onion story about Planned Parenthood opening an "$8 Billion Abortionplex" was real. Hey, at least he can read (uproxx.com)
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| |
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Susan Komen foundation hiring Ari Fleischer to rebuild trust, dispel charges of partisanship. What a bunch of boobs (washingtonpost.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Sex Week vs. True Love Week, otherwise known as the loose free for all's against the prudes sparks debate on Yale campus (nbcconnecticut.com)
|
| |
|
Have too many limes left over from your Super Bowl party? Save them for Monday Night RAW, tonight at 9pm EST (bleacherreport.com)
|
| |
|
Average Super Bowl viewer spent $63 on game related merchandise, apparel and food ... easily coming in ahead of those at Lucas Oil Stadium who paid $6,300 for the same thing (omaha.com)
|
| (BattleSwarm) |
|
Remember unrepentant SOPA sponsor Lamar Smith (R-MPAA)? He now has a primary challenger. Prepare to taste the fury of a fully operational Internet (battleswarmblog.com)
|
| |
|
Be on the lookout for the missing Department of Corrections offenders; all 30,000 of them (610wiod.com)
|
Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
Thu February 02, 2012
| |
|
Susan G. Komen foundation says the whole Planned Parenthood thing is a just a silly misunderstanding and to please not stop sending them money and don't boycott their sponsors (content.usatoday.com)
|
| (DCist) |
|
Three Occupy DC protestors are on the fourth day of a "sleep strike" to protest the Park Police's ban on camping in McPherson Square and the bugs BURROWING UNDER THEIR SKIN (dcist.com)
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 |
|
Mayor Bloomberg to Personally Donate $250,000 to Planned Parenthood in Wake of Komen Controversy (politicker.com)
|
| |
|
Susan G. Komen Foundation's top public health official resigns over new anti-Planned Parenthood policy (theatlantic.com)
|
| |
|
Online singles seek parenthood but no sex, which is like going to a strip club only for the beer prices (news.yahoo.com)
|
| (Sum Gai) |
|
Chinese restaurant catches fire. Fortunately there were no injuries, as everyone had prepared for such an event by running around their cars at red lights (woodtv.com)
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|
U.S. manufacturing activity gains in January. In related news, apparently there is still some U.S. manufacturing activity (upi.com)
|
| |
|
Lions apparently not enough to keep intruders out of animal refuge, may have to switch to the Cover-2 defense (news.yahoo.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Man arrested after attempting to move the vehicle blocking his car. News: It was an ambulance. Fark: Paramedics were loading it with a patient at the time (y100.com)
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Apparently, the idea of pretending to be a federal agent and pulling people with Ontario plates who visit strip clubs so you can check their car for bombs hasn't gotten old in Hudson (newportrichey.wtsp.com)
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| (SBNation) |
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Much like Peyton Manning, Roy Oswalt is in search of a home for after rehabbing from an injury that could jeopardize his career. To really drive the similarity home, we have an pic of Oswalt making a Manning face (mlb.sbnation.com)
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Virginia may be about to pass a law that separates school year planning from King's Dominion's schedule. In other news, Virginia currently plans its school year around King's Dominion's schedule (wtop.com)
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Researchers say scratching feels better on certain parts of your body. Sounds like junk science to me (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)
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You've traveled in time from the present to 1985. Paradoxes aside, how would you explain the world of 2012 to a group of high school kids? (fark.com)
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Wed February 01, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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A little kid kicks dirt on your car, do you A) tell him to get lost B) Threaten to tell his parents C) Pick him up and dangle him over an aggressive, chained pit bull? (charlotteobserver.com)
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The FBI likes to intimidate suspects by using a chainsaw to go through apartment doors, a technique that's especially intimidating when they saw through the wrong door (thedailybeast.com)
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The Super Bowl is almost here, so here's Huffington Post to rain on your parade by telling you that your gametime snacks are going to kill you (huffingtonpost.com)
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Anthrax mailings, once the tool of domestic terrorists, are now being used by wannabe rappers and apartment hunters (slate.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The "electability" argument is bankrupt on both philosophical and practical grounds. It destroys the party's soul and guarantees defeat (spectator.org)
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Inner-city school enters NASA contest. Apparently, there was some kind of misunderstanding when the students were asked how high they'd like to get (schoolsofthought.blogs.cnn.com)
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Police seize 1500 pounds of pot from NY apartment, estimate its street value at $7.5 million. Dude, $5000 a pound? In New York? Must have been some crappy stuff (foxnews.com)
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Salvation Army kettles collect a record $147 million at Christmas as people apparently will pay whatever it takes to stop the constant bell ringing (content.usatoday.com)
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Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Mitt Romney follows up his decisive Florida primary win with another shot to the foot: I'm not concerned about the very poor...that's what the Democratic party is for (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Steve-O prepares for his next stunt ... to see how fast he can nail Elisabetta Canalis (thesuperficial.com)
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Not to alarm anyone, but deep space particles are invading the solar system. And they're definitely not self-assembling near Jupiter into an autonomous, horrifying death ship of staggering power (sciencedaily.com)
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Backlash: Osama Bin Laden death photos may be released after all. Judicial Watch has sued for release of the materials under Freedom of Information Law, and they apparently have a case (nydailynews.com)
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Tue January 31, 2012
Mon January 30, 2012
Sun January 29, 2012
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