Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Man dies after catching on fire while trying to burn down his home so his estranged wife wouldn't get it  (dailymail.co.uk)	(50)

		Cash-strapped homeowners unable to refinance mortgage because ** shakes Magic 8-Ball ** their home is built out of 17,000 old tires. Wait, what?  (online.wsj.com)	(16)
		Porsche: The dependable, long-lasting choice for sensible auto owners  (news.yahoo.com)	(73)

		V-8 Mustang tops in fuel economy, runs on tears of hybrid owners  (dailyfinance.com)	(167)
(WWL TV)		Still full of butt-hurt over Brett Favre losing in overtime, NFL owners to vote on changing OT rules  (wwltv.com)	(107)

(Some Guy)		In hopes of circumventing anti-smoking laws, man opens up a smoker-friendly tobacco store inside a bar. "The tobacco shop has no walls. Its boundaries are marked off by duct tape."  (cjonline.com)	(416)
		Encyclopedia Dramatica author faces possibility of criminal charges because an article on his site offended an Aborigine  (news.ninemsn.com.au)	(296)

The state that brought you to your knees as the leader in rigged homeowner loans and appraisals is riding high on the next wave of global Ponzi goodness: homeowners and hurricane insurance  (heraldtribune.com)

(40)

		Illinois politicians are getting eviction notices from building owners and calls from collection agencies because the state hasn't paid for their offices  (chicagotribune.com)	(30)
		Man stops two teenagers from stealing beer from his restaurant. Police arrive and arrest the two yobs. Nah just kidding, they arrest the restaurant owner for assault and battery and let the boys go  (dailymail.co.uk)	(102)
		Everyone can finally breathe easy now. A Texas man is sentenced to 35 years for 5 ounces of pot  (rawstory.com)	(241)

Owners lock would-be car thief inside vehicle until cops arrive. "So every time he tried to get out of the car, the owners just kept hitting the lock button on their key fob, and eventually he gave up trying to get out"  (upi.com)

(94)

Former Conservative MP Rahim Jaffer pleads guilty to dangerous driving charges in exchange for cocaine possession and drunk driving charges being withdrawn. I think we know how he'll be celebrating  (edmontonsun.com)

(24)

(Mac|Life)

For all practical purposes, Apple's iPhone developer's agreement basically grants them ownership of every app you create. But it does let you sue them for up to and including the staggering sum of $50  (maclife.com)

(34)

(Some Dog Loving Guy)

Judge to rule if the case against vicious 10 year old dachshund should proceed or be dismissed. Vet tech "only concerned he might bite his owner or someone else" and in no way is seeking revenge on the animal  (coloradodaily.com)

(117)

Man claims ownership of entire town, tries to collect rent. Hilarity ensues  (3news.co.nz)

(62)

On a tip, police raid house and take away 18 cats, 3 dogs, the homeowners and 1 teen runaway hidden in a wall  (foxnews.com)

(51)

Redskins owner Dan Snyder spends $600,000 on two alligator leather desks. Who can blame him? Both were free agents and former All-Desk honorees  (nypost.com)

(51)

(WLWT.COM)		Man who bulldozed home ahead of foreclosure gets his eureka moment too late: auction his carpet business  (wlwt.com)	(49)
		John McCain ((R-AZy) claims he thought the TARP money was supposed to go to homeowners, not Wall Street  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(135)

Business owners hate bad reviews on Yelp. But it's worse when the bad reviews are written by Yelp employees, who then ask for extortion money to remove them  (blogs.wsj.com)

(53)

Dog survives small plane crash that killed its owner. Authorities suspect foul play, since they've learned that the dog took out a life insurance policy on its owner three days before the crash  (foxnews.com)

(54)

(WLWT 5)

Frustrated Owner Bulldozes Home Ahead Of Foreclosure  (wlwt.com)

(280)

Finland, which is fifth in the world in legal gun ownership, may ban semi-automatic handguns after a student went postal with one. So now the violently insane will be able to kill only six people before reloading  (breitbart.com)

(368)

News: Lawyer for crook calls detectives to turn in item his client stole. Fark: a 30" Newtonian reflector telescope  (ksat.com)

(75)

Old and Busted: "Everything will go back to normal when banks lend to small businesses." New Hotness: "Business owners won't take readily available loans because they don't believe America will recover."  (courant.com)

(108)

		Choose your stupid: a) "We want to keep ducks as pets" b) A 62-year-old woman fighting with the zoning board to make the owners get rid of them or c) The Boston Globe finding this newsworthy  (boston.com)	(59)
(ktla.com)		Family dog stolen from its owners after a car accident. So begins the War on Terrier  (ktla.com)	(63)

High court to decide of "pole tax" strips rights from patrons, leaves adult industry owners naked and exposed of First Amendment rights  (chron.com)

(46)

Michelle Malkin: Under Obamacare, Bill Clinton's heart would've shot out of his chest and exploded, killing him and everyone he loves. And small business owners would be taxed to pay for it  (michellemalkin.com)

(118)

		Police to pose as burglars by prowling in the middle of the night attempting to break in windows and doors then waking homeowners to give firm lectures if they fail test. What could possibly go wrong?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(241)
		Cubs outfield this summer may consist of Elton John, Billy Joel, and Dave Matthews. When the new owners said no more high priced talent, someone didn't get the memo  (670thescore.com)	(37)

(kdvr.com)

Bikini coffee shop owner accused of stiffing employees  (kdvr.com)

(78)

(Lancashire Telegraph)

Homeowners capture creepy dude sneaking into bedrooms and masturbating into womens' panties. Bonus: He's the mayor and judging from the mugshot, mayor of Hydrocephalic City  (lancashiretelegraph.co.uk)

(83)

(NBC Sports)

Baltimore Ravens owner claims several teams are struggling to make a profit... which may lead to the NFL having to finally open the books to the NFLPA  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)

(50)

How bad did the NFL misjudge their claim of ownership of "Who Dat"? " Shopkeeper: "One lady told me she wanted to buy anything in the store that was not NFL-licensed"  (msnbc.msn.com)

(83)

(LA Observed)		In-N-Out gives PBS show unprecedented access behind the scenes, including an interview with 28-year old owner Lynsi Martinez. Yes you would hit it, after telling 5 Guys to suck it  (laobserved.com)	(145)
(KPTV)		Teen crashes into bowling alley. While car does not strike anyone, front of building is split open. Owners say timing of the accident helped spare those inside from any injury  (kptv.com)	(63)

More ammunition for the next credit vs. cash debate: Store owners can't set minimum amounts for credit card purchases, but can offer "suggestions." And discounts for cash purchases are legal  (online.wsj.com)

(105)

		Marvel announces they are leaving grim superhero stories behind and returning to swashbuckling early comic books. New owner Mickey Mouse cackles approvingly  (usatoday.com)	(100)
		Toyota halts US sales of Camry, 7 other models, owners will receive a notice to turn in their smug cards  (news.yahoo.com)	(122)
		Canadian government upset that police hired neutral polling company to analyse gun owners' opinions of gun registry, instead of smashing down doors and asking themselves  (calgaryherald.com)	(179)

		Saab owners stage a protest to save their beloved brand. Outside of an Ikea. In Chicago. Pretty sure this is a textbook case for Doing it Wrong  (chicagotribune.com)	(42)
		As it turns out, $5.4 Billion WAS way the hell too much money to pay for two apartment buildings-even in Manhattan  (news.yahoo.com)	(134)

Angry tenant throws eggs at dogs, owners. To get this over easy, omelette you add the puns  (upi.com)

(62)

Man discovers what could be one of the world's largest and most valuable meteorites in his yard. Police confiscate it for "security reasons"  (news.com.au)

(119)

Mets' owners lost $8M in Madoff scheme, or the cost of placing 3 pitchers on the DL and hiring a new manager  (nypost.com)

(16)

(Recursivity)

Old: Over-zealous copyright owners issuing DMCA takedown notices. New hotness: Creationists issue notices on critics for showing their logo. As a wise man once said, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."  (recursed.blogspot.com)

(64)

NYC cabbie returns $21k that a fare left in the back seat, mostly because he's a Muslim  (guardian.co.uk)

(177)

Homeowners are killing protected trees to get better views of the sea. "I suppose this is a drawback of living in such a picturesque area."  (dailymail.co.uk)

(95)

(Some Guy)

Some Texas city mayor opens cold weather shelter for pets for this recent arctic cold front, is having police cite owners for cruelty if any pets seen left chained outside at this time  (valleycentral.com)

(226)

Porsches smack of success. Hondas preach practicality. And, according to a recent report, Chevys proudly proclaim of their owners, "I don't use the Internet"  (finance.yahoo.com)

(142)

Don't blame Lovie Smith for the Bears' terrible season. Okay, fair enough; we'll blame the owners. And Jay Cutler. And the fact that this is a team who relies on defensive victory. not offensive  (chicagotribune.com)

(53)

Obama administration's $75 billion program to protect homeowners from foreclosure has done more harm than good, says noted Conservative rag  (nytimes.com)

(48)

Doctors at St. James's University Hospital in Leeds, England, have discovered why some pet owners see hairy wall clocks  (abcnews.go.com)

(58)

		Ford, having somehow failed to get cost-cutting concessions from owners of its competitors in contract negotiations, offers to just buy them all out  (reuters.com)	(86)
		Of 20 kids born in a town in the past year, 5 had birth defects and 3 died. Local toxic waste dump owners say their dump is safe and something else must be to blame  (sacbee.com)	(167)
(Some Guy)		Dog ownership has the same ecological footprint as driving an SUV. PETA responds by keying dogs  (vancouversun.com)	(863)

Nebraska's supreme court rules that owners whose dogs are playful and cause injury are not liable for damages. "No, my pit bull was just being playful when he bit that kid's face off."  (omaha.com)

(221)

Morgan Stanley to walk away from five San Francisco office buildings bought at peak for $6.5 billion in 2007 because they've lost more than 50% of their value. Looks like abandonment's not just for homeowners anymore  (bloomberg.com)

(83)

		Land owners near 2010 PGA Championship site show where their balls lie as state claims eminent domain  (jsonline.com)	(25)
		Consultants compare iPhone owners who defend its shortcomings to hostages experiencing Stockholm Syndrome  (news.cnet.com)	(137)

		Restaurant owner protests 2% credit card transaction fee by offering 55% cash discount  (boston.com)	(80)
		Bird-shaped restaurant headed for auction. Owners not expecting to tern a profit, but admit they have no egrets. Yes, these puns are ostrich, but owl bet there'll be more  (upi.com)	(90)

Wells Fargo forecloses on animal shelter, refuses to let the building's owner tend to the animals, and basically lets the animals fend for themselves. You bet some people have a problem with this  (consumerist.com)

(236)

397K Toyota Corollas being investigated for stalling on highway, at intersections. Other 3 million Corolla owners breathe sigh of relief despite having quarter mile times comparable to a stalled Corolla  (wheels.blogs.nytimes.com)

(75)

(Some Guy)

Bar owner busted for hooking up all his Budweiser and Coors Light taps to Milwaukee's Best kegs. Surprisingly, someone noticed  (greenbaypressgazette.com)

(104)

		Florida bar owner says a sign in front of his business reading: 'Stop, Absolutely No Color's' is aimed at bikers, not blacks  (tampabay.com)	(280)
		"In fact, our findings suggest that online social networking profiles convey rather accurate images of the profile owners, either because people aren't trying to look good or because they are trying and failing to pull it off."  (upi.com)	(61)
		Bar owner equipped with a Stool of Defense (+6) successfully repels two Bandits armed with a Chaos Tomahawk (+4)  (news.com.au)	(49)

(Some Guy)		Photoshop these happy homeowners  (trinityjournal.com)	(34)
		Owner of the Three Stooges Deli moidered  (nj.com)	(52)

		About a quarter of homeowners owe more on their mortgage than their home is worth, especially in Florida and the "Dumbass Triangle" of California, Nevada and Arizona  (online.wsj.com)	(103)
		Beachfront property owners band together to protest the State adding sand to their beaches. Which are vanishing because of erosion. Good thinking, guys  (washingtonpost.com)	(177)