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500 headlines found matching 'own'
Sat April 25, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dwayne Bowe returns to KC to attend the funeral of a Chiefs fan, marking the first time he's had a touch down since 2013
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1)
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
Looks like someone just had their new toys from Iran blown up--Israeli jets strike Assad, Hezbollah targets in Syria
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Grab your torches and pitchforks and head on down to Philadelphia, where you can finally take a crack at Comcast this week
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(My Fox Boston)
 
 
 
While Marathon bombing victims pay for motels, meals, parking & hobble into court, the Feds have quietly flown in Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's relatives in from Kyrgyzstan & put them up under guard at the Hampton Inn...to testify for him
source: myfoxboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Sauk Valley News)
 
 
 
Twenty-four special education students attending a Special Education Cooperative School were given their very own prom, treated to a gourmet lunch and makeovers, all donated. "I never knew these kids didn't go to prom"
source: saukvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
"Geeks Who Drink" pub trivia game is getting its own SyFy reality show
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Police respond to a report of a homeowner shot after interrupting a burglary. Then things get weird
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to own Oprah's size 10 yellow patent leather designer shoes? Or how about her possibly still packaged home gym equipment? No? Me either. But someone out there does
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(4)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Chase Bank terminates all accounts belonging to a known drug lord
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Fri April 24, 2015
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
LabCorp to let consumers order their own blood tests directly without seeing a doctor. Critics say it's a prescription for headaches
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
Some people live their lives entirely in the third person because of a neurological condition known as lifelong severely deficient autobiographical memory
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(ShoutEngine)
 
 
 
HOLY MOSS COVERED THREE HANDLED FAMILY GREDUNZA, THE NASFARK PODCAST HAS REACHED 1,004 DOWNLOADS. (Link goes to the latest episode, with streaming problems fixed)
source: shoutengine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
The street code: no snitchin'. The mom code: Son, I am haulin' your rapey ass down to the precinct house
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Why would a grown man ride a tricycle? To go down the steepest street in the world. That's why
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
High school American Pie play finale brings down the house, the stage and closes with screaming reviews
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"World War O" the little known prequel to the zombie apocalypse
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
School sends a sixth grader to an alternative school for 30 days for jokingly pulling down his buddy's pants. Fark: The victim got the same punishment
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Thu April 23, 2015
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Will the Bulls continue to bore us to death? Can the Celtics beat the Cavs in Beantown? Will the brow single handedly will the Pelicans to victory? Here is your NBA first round game thread
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The lunatic who claimed Obama was controlling the delete key on her laptop is getting her own Sunday show
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Homeowner shoots trespasser in Pungoteague. Man that's gotta hurt
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Apparently inspecting a home does not extend to the owner
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Farmer ordered to take down 'offensive' sculpture of hay bales having sex will instead set up lighting so it can be viewed at all hours
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman taken down by police riot squad after taking home clothes hanger that had been left on subway: "It really has been the worst experience of my life but the whole thing is ridiculous. It's a complete waste of time and taxpayers' money"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
You minions keep complaining about the 1%ers that are running and wrecking this great country but you're wrong, it's the 0.01 percent that own this country
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Want to own a 1970 Plymouth Hemi Cuda? It has 81 original miles and it has a hemi
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Josh Hamilton, recovering from surgery, to report to Angels extended spring training. Which is not to be confused with the Brewers extended spring training, otherwise known as the regular season
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Villagers in the Indian town of Dumri-Isri plan to worship an eight-limbed baby as a reincarnation of the Hindu deity Ganesha, just as soon as they can catch him
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Christopher Walken is Hollywood's favorite eccentric. Didn't this guy used to have his own tag?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
A slick idea. The delivery guy can track down your car and open your trunk to drop off your package
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
If you own a tractor, you'll soon be getting a Deere John letter
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Sam Brownback: I know, I'll raise revenue through fee increases on HMOs. Aetna: Get Wrekt, M8
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Papillion, Nebraska gives people a reason to visit this summer: A massive 1000-foot water slide going down three lanes of traffic and a city street
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Wed April 22, 2015
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Woman is angered by people mocking National Organization for Marriage's gofundme page and donates the money she was saving for a down payment on her house-all $777 dollars worth. Unclear if she was planning on buying a single or double-wide
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rush Limbaugh describes a private business owner setting wages for his employees at above normal market rates without government intervention as "pure, unadulterated socialism"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
French Olympic swim team swimming in cocaine for years, says former member: "It's not just a little line, it's a complete motorway covered in white powder that they zoom down at top speed"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Serbian government jet carrying country's president and top officials nearly plunges out of sky after engine shuts down. Investigation rules out 'terrorism', concludes 'spilled coffee'
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
BOE - Religion is not being taught in our schools. Common Sense - What about these internal emails and documents that say otherwise. BOE - How dare you oppress us with facts and our own words, we specifically left all that out of the public record
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(548)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"It was terrifying; I was at the mercy of the Wheel. Everything I did, everything I tried to do was undermined by that fateful wheel. And it was overseen by the most cruel torturer known to man and his stick-like assistant, Pat Sajak and Vanna White"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz: Okay, so maaaaaaaaybe I've never spoken to McCain, like ever. Maybe we just passed each other in the hall and I thought he winked at me and that the thing was golden, and it was gonna rain down on me, like a shower
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Canadian town decides that they no longer grow enough rapeseed or produce enough honey to call themselves "The Land of Rape and Honey"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Turns out this is World Yoga Day, so grab your unitard and do a Downward Dog
source: theparliamentmagazine.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
So I forgot my landing gear and whacked my props halfway down the runway, so what? I'll just firewall the throttle, stagger into the air again, and fly it over neighborhoods on the way back home
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 


Tue April 21, 2015
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Reminder to dog owners: clean up after your pet, or someone else might find the wedding ring your dog ate
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Port St. Lucie mother arrested after driving down the driveway with her son, T. J. Hooker, clinging to her car's hood
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Wonk Wire)
 
 
 
New study finds that if states actually provide health insurance options to their people the uninsured rate goes down
source: wonkwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The GOP frontrunner? "Not Jeb Bush", who also goes by: "Not Ted Cruz", "Not Marco Rubio", "Not Rand Paul", "Not Bobby Jindal", "Not Scott Walker", "Not Chris Christie" and "Hahaha, no way in hell is it HuckFiorinaBrownback"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Heritage Foundation says gay marriage will cause a rise in abortions, because if there's one group known for abortions, it's gays
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Downside: Accidentally destroying your immaculate new lawn. Upside: Accidentally creating large scale work of art, instead
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Google now lets you download your entire search history. Hey... I had completely forgotten about that period of time I kept searching for nude gay dwarves re-enacting Gomer Pyle episodes
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Mon April 20, 2015
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
It turns out that Mother Nature has been slicing, dicing and genetically modifying crops on her own before it was the cool thing to do
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
WWE is learning not to make the guy with the neck injury headbutt everyone. WWE is learning that it is time for Mizdow to claim Cleveland for his own. WWE is learning that we don't care much about the post-WM pay-per-view. We never learn. Raw 8pm ET/pre-show 7:30pm ET
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(848)
 
(Israel National News)
 
 
 
When closing down a military base, which of these things you should remember not to do; A) Leave the lights on, B) Leave the water running, or C) Leave classified documents unsecured in empty rooms
source: israelnationalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle Times says Fark's NBA headline is a comedy slam dunk: "Kareem Abdul-Jabbar expected to make full recovery after undergoing quadruple bypass surgery, dragging Walton and Lanier up and down court for 48 minutes"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Shanghai Stock Exchange has grown so fast that the volume of the trading has exceeded the ability of the exchange's software to report it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Sun April 19, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you downloaded the first four "Game of Thrones" episodes that were leaked, HBO's coming for you
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Earthworms rain down on Norway. Residents brace for plague and pestilence
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(KFVS 12)
 
 
 
In a small Missouri town, all but one police officer resigned after the town elects an African-American woman as mayor
source: kfvs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(IndyCar)
 
 
 
What kind of clownshoes will we see this week? How many more aerokit souvenirs will be available? It's the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach (4:00 PM ET, NBCSN)
source: indycar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Latest GOP candidate has a time machine of his own
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(ECM Post Review)
 
 
 
Small town editor writes entire column on why he deleted an inappropriate Facebook post from the paper's site. Fark's moderators prepare for book deal
source: ecmpostreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hundreds feared to have drowned after a migrant boat sinks off the coast of Libya, could be the worst naval disaster since the Battle of Cape Matapan
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Bakersfield Now)
 
 
 
If you happen to know how a heavy marble headstone made for a U.S. Army veteran buried in Oklahoma ended up in an alley in downtown Bakersfield, Veterans Affairs officials would like to have a word with you
source: bakersfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Sat April 18, 2015
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Can you really be called a 'Tree Ninja' if police catch you trying to chop a tree down with a hammer?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"By the time Orlando firefighters and police arrived, the kitchen staff had cleaned the floor, rinsed the meat grinder and thrown the remains of Simpkins' fingers and the ground pork into the trash"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Animal rights protesters? In MY circus? Send in the clowns
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Johnny Manziel apologizes to the Browns and their fans. Browns fans say they're already so used to failures, they didn't even notice he had done anything wrong
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(UCLA Newsroom)
 
 
 
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar expected to make full recovery after undergoing quadruple bypass surgery, dragging Walton and Lanier up and down court for 48 minutes
source: newsroom.ucla.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Ben Affleck, descendent of a slave owner, requested PBS censor the fact that an ancestor owned slaves from his episode of "Finding Your Roots", after producers discovered Ben Affleck's ancestor owned slaves
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Cats aren't just for crazy cat ladies. More pet households own cats than other animals, according to the Humane Society. Cats rule households and now they rule the internet. So learn how to speak fluent Cat to make Caturdays more pleasant
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1018)
 
(Rotten Tomatoes)
 
 
 
"The cinematic equivalent of biting into an old brown banana" and other cogent critiques as Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 scores a zero on the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer
source: rottentomatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 


Fri April 17, 2015
(Townhall)
 
 
 
The VA is unconstitutionally adding veterans onto a list of people banned from purchasing firearms based upon nothing other than the fact that they are no longer mentally competent to handle their own affairs
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Sportsnet)
 
 
 
Hockey Playoffs night 3: Will PK get cut down like a tree? Ovie & the Caps even it up at home? Darling be darling for the Hawks a 2nd time? If the Flames steal another, will there be flames in the streets in Vancouver? All this & more from 7:00 PM ET
source: sportsnet.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1426)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The GOP-led House just passed a $269 billion tax break for America's downtrodden billionaires
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(613)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Take me down to Party City where the stock is green and the IPO pretty
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Angie's List CEO to step down. Company says he performed well on financial issues but was unable to delegate. Overall, they would probably use him again
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Well, it's official: Welfare recipients in Brownbackistan can no longer go swimming. *wipes hands on pants* See, *that's* how you solve poverty, people
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(535)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
When fans should begin panicking about their team's season, broken down by sport
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Medford Mail Tribune)
 
 
 
Mine owner calls in derp brigade to defend him. Man gets dismayed when derp brigade rolls with their derp
source: mailtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Even Lindsey Graham is rolling his eyes at some of the crap coming out of Ted Cruz's mouth. "Well, we tried that once in South Carolina. I wouldn't go down that road again"
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 


Thu April 16, 2015
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Great, Al-Qaeda now has their own airport. Still, has to be better to fly out of than O'Hare
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
London homeowner applies for permission to demolish house and rebuild with two-story basement. Neighbors object. Homeowner responds in hilarious fashion
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pew research finds 25% of all teens are online almost constantly. The other 75% unavailable for survey since researchers couldn't get them to put down their iPhones, iPads, laptops
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Ever do your own crawfish boil? Make your own crab cakes? If you're ready to enjoy shellfish, is it time to go to a restaurant or do you have a recipe to share?
source: fishcooking.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Sunderland Echo)
 
 
 
Drunk motorcyclist found trapped under his own bike. Twice
source: sunderlandecho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Drought is coming. Better drink my own micro-filtrated reverse osmosis ultraviolet light with peroxide disinfection piss
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
ATTENTION: Ambulance personnel do not have the equipment or training to handle downed pigeon calls
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz's biggest problem isn't his own record, policies or beliefs. Nope, his biggest problem is that he can't keep a muzzle on his own father ... and his dad is REALLY not helping
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today's pretext for SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN: Johnny Cash lyrics
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Another cop who can't mind his own business goes rogue...finding diner's lost wedding ring in plumbing while moonlighting as restaurant chef: "In the past year when it seems all you hear and see on TV are negative things about police officers"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Former Obama pilot concludes TWA Flight 800 was shot down. "This investigation smelled like bull all those years back, and time has done nothing to soften that stench. I don't believe the findings, and neither do hundreds of other pilots that I know"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 


Wed April 15, 2015
(TV.com)
 
 
 
Tonight on Arrow, Ollie and Ray team up to takedown Deathbolt but will Team Arrow escape unscathed. (8ET CW)
source: tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
If you've been wondering why workplace productivity has been down and the Internet has been slow the past few days, it's because a mother gave her son an allowance, found it torn in pieces, and decided to take a picture and post it on Facebook
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"Gov. Walker also wants significant entitlement reforms" Can you really call "gutting it and burning it down with the government" a reform though?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(NBA)
 
 
 
After 28 years, Pepsi replaces Coca-Cola as main food and drink sponsor for the NBA. Company will promote Mountain Dew, Doritos and Ruffles. Otherwise known to Memphis Grizzlies fans as breakfast
source: nba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
"Oh, you're standing in the UK election? Great, politics needs some new faces. What are your policies?" "We will peacefully annihilate the town of Broadstairs and form an Afro-Thanetian Zaliphate in Kent." "You've got my vote"
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
After four months of review, NFL still can't decide if Dez Bryant's touchdown-turned-non-catch was ruled correctly. Once again, the NFL just takes a safety
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The Cleveland Browns introduce a bunch of new uniform combinations, so they can at least look stylish when they lose games this year
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Tue April 14, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Ducks wander around downtown DC for no clear reason"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
San Antonio chef and food truck owner given a $2,000 fine by police--because she was giving her food away to the homeless rather than selling it to hipsters
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(The News-Messenger)
 
 
 
Give a mouse a cookie and he'll want a glass of milk. Try to set a mouse on fire and you burn your whole goddamn garage down
source: thenews-messenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
How far down the list of "Annoying Problems That Need Government Regulations" do you have to go before you get to hair-dryer noise in restrooms?
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
After woman asks teenagers to quiet down in movie theater, they assault her in parking lot. Two of the alleged attackers were caught on security cam, so if you see either of these young girls.... Hold on, those are teenagers? Seriously?
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Without any warning, Walmart suddenly starts closing down stores Monday evening
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Because of course the San Antonio Spurs would create their own '80s band called Spuran Spuran
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Some Scanner)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down for this, but medical labs offer bonuses to doctors for running unnecessary tests. On second thought, you may want to lie down for this and hold very still
source: diabetesinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Mon April 13, 2015
(Distractify)
 
 
 
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs. You guys can have that 'Quick brown fox' crap
source: distractify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you are talking about so here is a toddler getting a smack down from a fish
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The Iberian ribbed newt defends itself by poisoning its own bones and shoving them through its skin. So naturally, humans thought, "What the hell, if any animal deserves to be an astronaut, this newt does"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
And the first person to promise to move to Canada if Hillary is elected is: a divorced man who makes rocking chairs, doesn't own a TV, and once rode a bucking bronco 32 minutes
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The 10 scariest roads on the planet. Buckle up, hang on, say a prayer and don't look down
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Four underage LSU bros find themselves Eastbound & down when Alabama sheriffs bust them hauling 100 cases of Natty Light to Spring Break
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
"There was a very large man-like bear creature walking around up on the ridge. I was looking right at him, it was just kind of hanging out. I was near a road, so of course Bigfoot being notoriously shy, so he is not gonna come down here" (w/video)
source: cryptozoologynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(WGRZ Buffalo)
 
 
 
Maybe no one in Buffalo will remember the Great Underground Fire of 2015, but at least we have footage of a pothole cover being blown sky high right in the middle of the city
source: wgrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
65-year-old German primary school teacher and mother of 13 is set to become the world's oldest clown car following 18 months of fertility treatment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Sun April 12, 2015
(USA Today)
 
 
 
What an incredible Cinderella story. This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack at Augusta
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado program cuts teen pregnancy rate by 39%, abortions are down 42% and Medicaid birth-related costs dropped by $49 million. Naturally, Republicans are trying to kill it
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(IndyCar)
 
 
 
Will we have wet clownshoes for our first trip to the Bayou? Will there be more caution laps than green flag laps thanks to the new front wings? This is your Indy Car Grand Prix of Louisiana discussion thread at 2:30pm EDT on NBCSN
source: indycar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here is the 1000-mile hike that shaped the National Park Service, so sit down and hear this awesome tale
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Optical illusion of the day - Is the cat going up or down the stairs?
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
CEO of medical marijuana company who was suing the state of Illinois unexpectedly dies. No word if it was an overdose on his own wares
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Vin Diesel opens up about Paul Walker's death and how it affected both "Furious 7" and his own llife
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Sat April 11, 2015
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Japanese university president asks freshmen to quit toxic addiction to smartphones. "It slows down brain functions and wastes precious time, he added"
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Manager of old building owned by Cambridge University criticized for posting anti-bike-chaining signs in ancient Greek and Latin -- by classics lecturers who pointed out spelling and phrasing errors, and by students for being elitist
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
"At first I thought it was a joke," Dior told the Herald on Sunday. "Now I am having to spend thousands of dollars I can't afford on legal advice to prove I can use my own name. It is crazy"
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Someone is giving Jon Bon Jovi his own reality television show
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Comedian is sentenced for conning the Birmingham City Council into investing more than $18,000 into a bogus mentoring program for students called Class Clowns. That's the joke
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Mother up in arms because her precious snowflake was frightened that school bus was going to hold tornado drill. Fark: In Oklahoma town where tornado went through two weeks earlier
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Spanish protesters stage first ever "hologram march" in protest against new law that limits right to rally. Police respond by creating hologram riot squad, start the hologram protester beatdowns
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Michelle Malkin)
 
 
 
President known to enjoy smoking cites 'climate change' as possible cause of daughter's asthma attack
source: michellemalkin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Today 7-11 invites you to bring your own coconut cup, fishbowl, trophy, or any other container to fill up with a Slurpee
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 


Fri April 10, 2015
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
MLB sets new spring training attendance record. Mostly from Boston residents who flew down to Florida just to watch an activity that didn't involve snow shovels
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The week is almost over, let's finish strong so we can spend the weekend holding down a hammock. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
...while the shiat-on-a-shingle they serve on Mondays is palatable if not pleasant; but the *real* neighborhood gem is over on E block in CC's cell, a well-known secret among the locals made famous for his fruit-cocktail pruno and skills with a blade
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Is this license plate offensive? 370H55V. No? Texas DMV says it is. If you flip it upside down
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Sure, we routinely call Chairman Mao a pussy and say he ruined China, but thatʻs here on Fark, not on Chinese state-owned telev... hang on, what? Folks, I think we have a new hero, and probably soon a martyr too
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Walgreens to close 200 stores, or approximately .0000002% of their total locations. If you didn't crack your forehead on a Walgreens storefront while reading this, you live under a lava field, or 50 light years away from any known habitable planet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Richard Dysart, best known for his role as Leland McKenzie in L.A Law and supporting roles in The Thing, Pale Rider, and Being There, has died of cancer at 86. He was also a Korean War veteran and an Emmy winner
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Thu April 09, 2015
(io9)
 
 
 
What color is Han Solo's winter coat on Hoth? Blue or brown?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Republicans pick up a nice chianti and fava beans and start feasting on their own
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
The Federalist goes brony with a detailed breakdown of last week's season premiere, but they weren't looking for funny faces or animation glitches. No, they were looking for anti-marxist symbolism
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"prepared to be blown [away]", AMC adds vibrating seats to attract movie goers
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
"We had bought a DIY tattoo kit online and originally it was a well-intentioned exercise. Then when it didn't turn out right it dawned on me this was forever. If anyone is thinking of trying their own tattoos - I would just say, don't"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Action A Go-Go)
 
Video
 
Put the ladder down Jackie Chan. Put the Bowl down Jackie Chan. Put the motorcycle down Jackie Chan. Stop riding dolphins while shooting people Jackie Chan. God, can you just sit still for one movie?
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Obama visits Bob Marley Museum, says he still has all the albums...which he borrowed from Biden, who's made it his life's work to track down the killer bud of which he partook along with four coeds from Babson during the '77 Exodus tour
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Couple who lost everything in hurricane Sandy wins $255,000 lottery. If they thought Sandy took all they owned, wait until the IRS finds out they won a quarter million dollars
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Here are the 10 most popular places to go on a first date. "Down on me" surprisingly absent
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
California advances its own "religious freedom" bill
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the mother who gave birth to her own brother and sister. Difficulty: not Arkansas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Marina City Online)
 
 
 
Chicago condo owner sues over having to share elevator with dogs
source: marinacityonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 


Wed April 08, 2015
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Plane which crashed with 999 kilos of drugs in Venezuela may have been shot down. FARK: Aircraft is registered to the Mexico's Attorney General's Office
source: venezuelanalysis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Eurasianet)
 
 
 
George & Amal Clooney, Vladimir Putin, System of a Down, and Kanye & Kim Kardashian will visit Armenia this month to commemorate 100th anniversary of Armenian genocide, with Kim going back to brunette to mark solemnity of occasion
source: eurasianet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
How the IPA got its name. Reporter follows up by brewing his own IPA, which incredibly isn't a terrible hop bomb: "fresh and flowery, finishing with just a touch of caramel sweetness, like a dusting of toasted coconut"
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
President Obama apparently found the one secret service agent who wasn't drunk, stoned, or getting blown by some South American prostitute and made him teach his daughter how to drive
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Cleveland Browns tackle Joe Thomas says that quarterback Johnny Manziel "lost trust" among teammates. Apparently he blew it when he tried to tell them that he actually liked being in Cleveland
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
NewsFlash
 
Verdict in Boston for Tsarnaev. He will be thrown into the harbor
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(443)
 
(NUVO News)
 
 
 
4/8 New Comic Releases: There's A New Deadpool In Town
source: nuvo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
The Iron Man suit charted across 50 years in one illustration - it's almost aged as well as Downey Jr
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
12 years ago today, a desperate cry for help was sent down from Donald Rumsfeld's office and promptly ignored
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Western Journalism)
 
 
 
Jerry Brown says Californians will face heavy fines for long showers. Which means between the wine industry, a Disney theme park and no showers, the difference between California and France is now negligible
source: westernjournalism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(331)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Please welcome "The Passion of the Duggar 2: Clowncar Assembly Line"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
WWE Smackdown moving to USA Network in 2016 after SyFy decides two hours a week not dedicated to ghost hunting is too much
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Confronted with onerous and overbearing federal rules, states decide to more or less do their own thing. Unsurprisingly, somebody has a problem with this. Surprisingly, it's Fox
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Rumer Willis breaks down recalling all the times she has taken it on the chin from bullies
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 


Tue April 07, 2015
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
"New research published in Environmental Sociology this month explores the reasons behind humans' relaxed attitude to canine excement and the strategies employed by dog-owners to deal with it"
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
And the next clown cramming himself into the GOP presidential candidate car is Rand Paul. RAND PAUL
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Dog burns down house trying to get treats. Bad doggie. Bad
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I was just minding my own business and then *poof* a star is born
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Hostess celebrates MLB Opening Day with 'touchdown' baseball cakes. Swing and a miss
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(IBC World news)
 
 
 
American tourist goes for a leisurely drive down busy road in Thailand. It went well, apart from driving down the wrong side for 30 minutes, hitting thirteen cars, injuring two people and having her wheels shot by police
source: ibcworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Mon April 06, 2015
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Food Babe versus Science Babe, in an epic throwdown of science fact versus nutrition superstition
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(425)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Let's take a beautiful look at the creepiest place on the planet: Dracula's 'hometown'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A church service was so good it brought down the house
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan State Representative Gary Glenn (R-eally this crap again) issues "agenda alerts" on Facebook and Twitter after openly gay man is promoted to editor of his hometown newspaper
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women of the CIA lash out at Hollywood for portraying them as crazy sexy superagents who take down terrorists sexily and handle their PTSD with tons of booze and pills. "We don't look like that"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Sun April 05, 2015
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Jihadist traveling from Norway to Syria to join IS. News: More than one in ten come from the same street in a sleepy little backwood town. Fark: They used to be the town's potheads until they found radical Islam
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Hidden in an unknown corner of Inner Mongolia is a toxic, nightmarish lake created by our thirst for smartphones, consumer gadgets and green tech"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Theatergoer claims Cobb Cinemas discriminated against him and his big Cookie Monster bag just because he's a grown adult male (w/ pic and video)
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You should never go in to labor when Obama's in town
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Sat April 04, 2015
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Residents of a small southeast Alaska town no longer have nighttime access to emergency medical care because the border with Canada is now closed at midnight"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Selling figurine soldiers in Nazi regalia at Moscow's most renowned children's store? That's possible charges of inciting hatred and undermining the dignity of veterans of World War II
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(FIA Formula E)
 
 
 
It is time for round six of the Formula E championship as they take to the track at Long Beach. The high pitched whine, the car changes, the clownshoes. Coverage starts at 6:30pm EDT on Fox Sports One unless they decide to bump it for curling
source: fiaformulae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You can now spend hundreds of dollars a day to stay at a hotel where not only are you expected to cook your own meals, but forage for the ingredients in nearby parks first
source: intransit.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
The student's fantasy of ending the school year early becomes a reality for two Kansas school districts, courtesy of Sam Brownback. Obvious tag sent home early to save on hours, so Scary tag steps in
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
The buyer of a homeless shelter who arranged for all homeless to be taken aboard buses to unknown destinations "up north" revealed to be none other than the town itself
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Texas police help round up loose buffalo. Onlookers say they haven't seen a team of Texans take down a buffalo like that since Super Bowl 27... or 28
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
90,000 baseball fans are spending this weekend at the most broken-down, busted-ass, decrepit dump of a stadium in all of professional sports, for two meaningless exhibition games between two third-tier teams. Your move, Tampa
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Fri April 03, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You know that statue erected of Lucille Ball to honor her in her hometown? Well, it creeps people out
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
What are you doing for Good Friday? This guy nailed it, hands down
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Joni Mitchell feels like she was run down by a big yellow taxi due to Morgellons Disease: "Western medicine says this doesn't even exist, it's a psychotic disease. It's not"
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
California now getting second hand smog from Asia. Which means that if you are in L.A. and go to Chinatown, even the pollution is now authentic
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Pipeline company to 100 West Virginia landowners: Don't you folks think your land would be improved if it had one our pipelines running through it? No? Oh, well, that's what eminent domain is for
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Nigeria's new president promises to crush Boko Haram. Because if anyone knows about crushing people down, it's a former brutal military dictator
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
UFO activists: Please, please, please we need another Clinton presidency to let the world know that aliens are real and why Washington has covered it up for so long. That, and we own a lot of tin-foil
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Brazilian soccer player flips off his own fans, throws his shirt to the ground after fans boo him
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
56 down, 1 to go
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Utah man finds over $22,000 in a bag in the middle of the road and returns it to the owner
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 


Thu April 02, 2015
(Adweek)
 
 
 
MTV will give Robert Downey Jr. the cherished MTV Generation Award, given to the one celebrity "who has engaged the MTV audience throughout their career." Depp got screwed
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Robert Pattinson has proposed to something known as FKA twigs, which I'm guessing is a hipster flower shop or something
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The Cincinnati Bengals find a good way to troll the Cleveland Browns on April Fools' Day
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Replica pirate ship breaks down and has to be towed to port. Crew members heard saying they should have been ninjas
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"As this has gone unknown so long by the general public, it seems the 'Clark Kent disguise' must actually be better than anyone thought"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dog gets four prosthetic legs, can now make it on his own to get steak
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
Good news: drunk driving deaths are down for 7th straight years. Call and text your friends about how safe the roads are
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 


Wed April 01, 2015
(Newser)
 
 
 
Florida, home of that bastion of Christian purity known as Spring Break, decides maybe people living in sin don't have to go to jail
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Christopher Walken to play a mystical pet shop owner who helps Kevin Spacey's "trapped in the body of a cat" businessman in new movie
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"I've already used Paul LePage-type characters twice in my books. Greg Stilton, the nutty right-wing Congressman in 'The Dead Zone' is one. The other is the monster clown in 'It.' Like the clown, Governor LePage is Pennywise... and pound foolish"
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Why do humans have such large penises? I mean, not all of you, of course. But some of us are downright blessed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
A former business executive that slammed Chick-Fil-A in a viral video is now on food stamps and moved his wife and kids into an RV, presumably down by the river
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Downton Abbey could return as 1970s spin off
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 


Tue March 31, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Arkansas passes their own "Religious Freedom" bill, since they're already Arkansas so what can you really do to them?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
For Windows 10, the applications formerly known as Windows 8 apps, Metro apps, Metro-style apps, Modern apps, Windows Store apps, and Universal apps will now be known as Windows apps. Tomorrow, they may be P-Diddy apps
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Scottish soldier, who had recently returned from Sierra Leone and served in Afghanistan, is unable to make it out of Miami's Ultra Festival alive. We've lost too many good men down there, dammit
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Latest economic data shows that oilpatch downturn is so severe that people there are now being forced to choose between drinking OR driving
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
The risk of living in a state with its own Fark tag is that you never know when you're going to walk into your son's room and find a naked burglar lying down next to him
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Texas chef sees your "College Daze Bloody Mary" and raises it to an entirely new artery busting level with the "Bloody Best Bloody Marry" (yes really, that's not a typo) .. "It makes the KFC Double Down Dog look like a salad in comparison"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(TV.com)
 
 
 
NBC set to ease on down the road with their next live musical production
source: tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Mon March 30, 2015
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Disabled model gives new meaning to strutting down the catwalk
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Browns GM suspended for texting. He's just lucky he wasn't caught taking a selfie
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Idiot who walks his dog by having it run behind his car named "the laziest pet owner on earth," tied with every other halfwit in your town who does the exact same thing
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Indonesian police spark impromptu block party after smoke from 3.3 tons of burning cannabis wafts through urban neighborhood. Intrepid journalist reports the high was so intense, he had to "sit down and have a cup of tea"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(ABC News Radio)
 
 
 
America's pets are as obese as their American owners, and that's the problem: "95 percent of owners of overweight dogs and nine out of ten owners of fat cats think their pets appear normal"
source: abcnewsradioonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Speeding tickets are down nationwide and fine-dependent courts are having financial trouble
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
James Bond-themed swinger party at $5 million mansion canceled at the onset after guest drowns. The Aristocrats
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Thanks to all the outrage over Indiana's "religious freedom" bill, Georgia scraps plans to pass their own
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(415)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
By today's standards, Coney Island's 87-year-old wooden Cyclone roller coaster is tame and dull ... except when it gets stuck on opening day and you have to walk down on the wooden side planks, while looking over the ocean. Now that's excitement
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Sun March 29, 2015
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Indiana Governor Mike Pence has determined "people on the internet" are out to destroy Indiana. Should the internet be shut down on religious grounds?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(501)
 
(IndyCar)
 
 
 
Gentlemen and ladies, start your clownshoes for the opening event of the Indycar season. This is the Grand Prix of St. Petersburg discussion thread at 3pm EDT on ABC
source: indycar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted to lie down and curl up next to a sandwich, now's your chance with this fancy burrito body pillow
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Anorak (UK))
 
 
 
"Asked why she had shown the police officer her marijuana stash and asked if she could smoke a joint, the woman explained: 'It's just weed and I thought he might be cool with it""
source: anorak.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Sat March 28, 2015
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ozzy Osbourne's daughter is about to hit it big time. No, not Kelly. The unknown one that nobody talks about
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
We know Kentucky is elite, but can they defy God's bracket and make the final four? To start the night off, will Wisconsin and Arizona give us another classic showdown? Two tickets are punched to the Final Four tonight (6pm EDT)
source: scores.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(OutSports)
 
 
 
Well, the Indiana law isn't good, but it's not like business owners will start throwing gay people out of restaurants like the Civil Rights Era. . .oh
source: outsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(374)
 
(Jayski's Silly Season Site)
 
 
 
The NASCAR Camping World Truck Series is back in action at Martinsville, where it's entirely possible John Wes Townley's Segway and John Hunter Nemechek's footy pedal car may be all that survives the carnage, beginning at 2 PM ET on Fox Sports 1
source: jayski.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
And we have a new leader for "Greatest takedown by a bodyguard during a rap concert" (w/video)
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Fri March 27, 2015
(CTV News)
 
 
 
On news that the Supreme Court of Canada has sided with the federal government to destroy records from the abolished gun registry, Quebec said, "Fine we'll start our own registry. With blackjack and hookers"
source: montreal.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
There's driving drunk, and then there's 'passed out in the car while rolling down the freeway' drunk. (caught on video)
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Get ready, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. And as this is Quiz #420, you can be mellow and take it at your own pace, man
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If at first you don't succeed... you're probably face down on the court, feeling the effects of tripping over a convertible
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Virginia crowns new hide-and-seek champion
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Fark: Plant that provides 30,000 jobs in Ukraine cannot reopen if it is ever shut down. Holy Fark: 2,000 workers keep going back to work despite the plant having been shelled 160 times since July
source: uatoday.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Everyone calm the f*ck down about global warming, the geoengineering dudes have this one
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kansas legislature sends bill to Governor Brownback that legalizes conceal carry without training or a permit
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Season six of Downton Abbey confirmed to be its last. Monocles everywhere shatter in shock
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Go-Go-Gohmert wants a ride in the clown car
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Thu March 26, 2015
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
You knew this was coming: Willie Nelson to launch his own brand of weed
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(North Devon Journal)
 
 
 
Ghost hunters got the fright of their lives at a renowned haunted house when they heard clanging sounds and saw sparks flying on a winter evening - only to discover chainsaw wielding thieves cutting a drain cover off a stolen trailer
source: northdevonjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(KSBY San Luis Obispo)
 
 
 
If you're ever on the witness stand accused of bank robbery and could really use a recess, start eating your own feces and that will usually get it done
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Wed March 25, 2015
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Sounds like the Germanwings crash may have been another pilot mass-murder suicide. "The audio indicated that one of the pilots left the cockpit and could not re-enter. You can hear he is trying to smash the door down"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(583)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Heroic elephants keep tractor-trailer from overturning before returning to their life of being enslaved by psychopathic clowns
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
How much parking is there in and near downtown Boston? Any answer beyond "not enough" will cost you $80,000
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
NFL drops blackout rule for TV in 2015. The term "NFL blackout" will now only refer to downing three cases of beer on Sunday while watching 18 hours of televised football
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Six year old able to cut his smoking habit down to five cigarettes per day, hopes to conquer his gallon a day whiskey habit next
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The curtain is pulled away and now the world can see with their own eyes what a chicken does during a solar eclipse
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Break out the pitchforks: Jeb Bush used a private email account when he was governor, an action that has given him his own Emailghazi
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Finally, Japan has contributed something to the world that isn't weird or creepy, but downright useful: The Briefcase Grill
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
White House chief floral designer forced to stand down under mysterious circumstances. ROSEGHAZI
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Looks like Ted Cruz has had about as much success securing his hometown newspaper's endorsement as he did securing his own name's domain registry
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Tue March 24, 2015
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Browns say Johnny Manziel may be out of rehab in time to sit on the bench during April workouts
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Garden and Gun)
 
 
 
32 Southern barbecue joints break out the propane and go head-to-head in their own version of the NCAA tournament. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
source: gardenandgun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
"Losing is never fun, but the Leafs ownership has a rare situation in which the team could lose every game for the next 10 years and still find a way to sell out the building"
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Currency wrecker and convicted felon warns Greece "is going down the drain"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Since 2003 the TSA has toyed with the idea of placing "behavior detection officers" in airports across America-part of a $1 billion counter-terrorism measure known as SPOT (Screening Passengers by Observation Techniques)
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Amazon, recently ordered to start collecting sales taxes from Massachusetts residents, gets millions of dollars of tax credits from Massachusetts for its own taxes. Taxes
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Norway man glued own beard to victim's scalp"
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My boyfriend is in his 20s, and he owns over two dozen stuffed animals that he claims have sentimental value. And if that isn't weird enough, he still sleeps with a teddy bear. Is this abnormal behavior? Should I dump him?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Terrorists couldn't take down Charlie Hebdo, but success just might
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Tech startup creates its own mass transit so that the elite don't have to hang out with the poors
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Face of Jesus appears in South American landslide. Local land owners immediately start charging people to see it, just like Jesus would have wanted (w/pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Mon March 23, 2015
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Newly crowned Miss Universe Japan criticized for "not being Japanese enough"
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Will JBL give Bill Simmons a clothesline from hell? Will Snoop Dogg rap with R-Truth? Can Brock or Roman speak a single sentence? Will Cena beat Rusev down again for AMERICA? It's the RAW before Mania. (8 PM ET on USA/Pre-show 7 PM ET)
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1363)
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
"How Marvel's universe of strange, flawed, streetwise superheroes conquered our own"
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why do we laugh inappropriately? Includes video of THE most contagious laugh you will ever encounter, as a cricket pundit breaks down on air
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Jerry Brown goes Captain Obvious
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Sequester 2: Budget Boogaloo. Congress is back in this high drama thriller, but this time the President has laid down the law and prepared his mighty veto pen. And you thought it was just Hollywood that was out of ideas
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Brian Williams makes first public comments since his six-month NBC suspension during visit to his former high school, fondly recalls scoring the winning touchdown at homecoming, putting out a cafeteria grease fire, and banging the prom queen and her runner-up in a three-way
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Sun March 22, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Living in a van, down by the river. New hotness: Living in a tent-boat, ON the river
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Hunger Games ripoff Insurgent takes the weekend box office with $49.6 million, Cinderella ticking down to #2 with $35.8 million. The Liam Neeson film The Gunman bombs because of Sean Penn, and Blomkamp's Chappie falls to #10
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney fanatic wants to #freethemonorail by sending it to Burning Man so it can "follow its own path"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Sat March 21, 2015
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Little League superstar Mo'ne Davis to get her own Disney Channel original movie. Hey it might be better than Rookie of the Year or Little Big League
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
"Billy Corgan has told an audience in Peru that he no longer wants to be known by the name and that he prefers William"
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
"Finland isn't just known as the country with the highest number of saunas and heavy metal bands per capita, its future is to be the world's server central"
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
'Spider Man' climbs into Walmart ceiling, crawls through duct work, drops down and walks out front door, escaping shoplifting charges. FARK: As people record the whole thing on cell phones
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Downton Abbey may end after season six. How utterly middle class
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Songwriter Michael Brown has walked away from life at age 65
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 


Fri March 20, 2015
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You work one day as a temp. No big deal. You sue the state for an annual pension of more than $30,000. Big Deal. Asinine Tag: You're already pulling down $60,000+ from two *other* state pension systems
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Like blind dates and speed dating weren't stupid enough on your own, now you can go blindfolded speed dating. Hope you like the feel of strangers rubbing their hands all over your face
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida cops hunt for naked female Spring Breaker who "may be in danger." Well, that narrows it down to a few thousand
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
James Franco reveals he's gay, except for the whole sex with men thing. He's not down with that
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Beverly Hills bakery's "creative use" of guest worker program allowed owners to keep employees as virtual slaves
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Thu March 19, 2015
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
What do you do when you have 6,800 kilos of fish spill on the road? Well if you're a fireman from Guizhou province in China you save them by hosing them down and putting them back in the truck (Pictures of a lot of fish)
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(NHL)
 
 
 
WILL the Hamburglar make the Bruins look like clowns? CAN the Habs weather the Hurricanes? HOW will Philly fare against the Flames? Your NHL Thursday night sports thread starts... right now
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Larry Brown says Kentucky could beat the Knicks, make the NBA playoffs in the East. Thanks for the support, coach
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Fitchburg, Mass. Art Museum visitors "will be blown away" says marketing director in awkwardly-timed announcement
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Serious Eats)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Put down the American cheese slices and the block of cheddar. It's time for something with a lot more character. That's right, this thread is cheese-shaming you
source: seriouseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
Valve boss Gabe Newell says the only way we'll ever get Half-Life 3 is if a bunch of his employees decide to make it on their own
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Priest arrested for performing exorcism on anorexic girl, as police claim he should have recognized her medical condition when she couldn't keep down her split pea soup
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
San Francisco cathedral figures out that hosing down the homeless is not what Jesus would do
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK placenta smoothie-maker investigated and temporarily shuts down. So does this mean British food is getting better?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Put down the laundry basket, guys - even if you fold better than the '03 Cubs, you're still not getting any
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
"We are the only species known to seek out negative sensations deliberately. You don't see animals gorging themselves on wild chili peppers. A taste for pain seems to be one of the defining characteristics of being human"
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Liza Minnelli goes into rehab; Greenwich Village, Fire Island and Provincetown go into mourning
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Glenn Beck leaving "rotted" GOP because they aren't conservative enough, says he plans to form his own Grand Old Party with blackjack, hookers
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(NBC 29 Charlottesville)
 
 
 
Alcoholic Beverage Control police, previously known for pulling guns on a UVA student after mistaking bottled water for alcohol, now under investigation for severely beating a student after mistaking his real ID for a fake
source: nbc29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(College Raner)
 
 
 
The 50 Best College Towns if there were no college students
source: collegeranker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Of all the Tebows in the world, the Browns might be the Tebowniest
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Dog slobber prevents asthma and allergies, so put down the Benadryl and open that peanut butter jar from Costco
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 


Wed March 18, 2015
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Taylor Bradford writes Downton Abbey novel. It's as good as any other book by any other novelist with two last names that you'd never heard of until you wandered into the newsstand at the airport
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(Krebs On Security)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down for this, but it appears that the people behind an online marketplace specializing in illegal drugs and identity theft have absconded with all the bitcoins
source: krebsonsecurity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Police department and shopping mall team up to produce the least-funky version of Uptown Funk you'll ever see
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Dallas Seavey wins his third Iditarod crown. Well, the dogs won, he was just there to slow them down
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Met Ayyub Faleh, a kindhearted, loving family man also known for wielding an axe and his battlefield pranks on ISIS
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Determined to put an end to their lawlessness, 25 French police carry out a raid on a Paris building known to be the headquarters of A) AL-Shabab? B) ISIS? or C) Uber?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Stockbrokers upset at SEC proposal to designate them as "fiduciaries" which would require them to put their clients' interests ahead of their own when advising, saying small customers won't have access to "high quality investment advice"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
St. Patrick's Day celebration in Minneapolis turns violent when hundreds of Irish teens arrive downtown via free bus and train rides and promplty begin brawling
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The last thing you want to see on a romantic cruise down the river Zambezi is a poacher disappearing in a crocodile snatch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: 'Cross-dressing' priest who 'dealt high-grade crystal meth and owned a sex shop' asks for leniency
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
French lawmakers okay terminal sedation for end of life, plan to have Jerry Lewis in clown makeup lead patients to their deaths
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey mayor discovers that his town is in fact not a part of North Korea
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Back in my day we didn't call it manspreading. We called it space hogging. And young men often were leg pests, which was in style at the time. And nobody rode the subway. It was known as an Astro-Trolley
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Tue March 17, 2015
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
Legendary UCLA and NBA big man Jack Haley, best known for being on 1996 Chicago Bulls and for cameo in "Love in an Elevator" video, is dead at 51
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback explains that the anti-abortion law he signed is really about the economy, because forcing those babies to be born is just smart fiscal policy. "If you're not forming a family unit, you are slowing economic performance"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
It's the Rock and Carla Gugino vs. EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG in the new San Andreas trailer. If you need me I'll be comfortably sitting outside far away from anything that can fall down
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Onlookers talk down suicidal man when police can't
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Siberian Times)
 
 
 
First-ever underwater ice hockey game held in Siberia: "Wearing scuba gear and hovering upside-down below the frozen surface, can there be any more extreme sport?" (pic)
source: siberiantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Student downs 25 shots of vodka in 60 seconds at university drinking competition. Wins his prize posthumously
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(TBK Magazine)
 
 
 
I was broke, so for lack of a better phrase, I was indeed "down to clown"
source: tbkmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Four high school students hospitalized after hash oil brownies. Well, thank god they didn't eat peanuts
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Mon March 16, 2015
(ESPN FC)
 
 
 
As the Barclay's Premier League winds down, the battles for the Champion's League spots and the relegation fight are in full swing. Liverpool wants to overtake Man U, Arsenal is hoping to keep form, and Tottenham hope to score upsets
source: espnfc.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(556)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"In all my 21 years at this newspaper, we've never had a porn film shot in the town centre in broad daylight"
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Jerk of a cat owner gets his catuppance
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Facebook updates its takedown guidelines: butts, nipples, and terrorists all deemed equally bad
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
French train guard shouts down kissing lesbian couple, yells that their farewell embrace "cannot be tolerated," presumably after they failed to invite him to join in
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rand Paul comes up with his own ridiculous reason for signing the Iran letter, instead of plagiarizing John McCain's
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Ex-owner of the NJ strip club used as the Bada Bing on "The Sopranos" sentenced to
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Today, Salon decides to come down on casual sex at college
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 


Sun March 15, 2015
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Toto bassist Mike Porcaro won't be blessing the rains down in Africa any longer
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down to read this, but believe it or not, it seems Sting might be a bit of an egomaniac
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Jeremy Clarkson "fracas," which was downgraded to "argument," then upgraded to "emergency room visit," has now been downgraded to "I'd rather keep my job after all"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The Jeremy Clarkson "fracas," which was downgraded to "argument," is now upgraded to "emergency room visit"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Browns consider signing free agent WR who tied subby in touchdown receptions last year
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man feels good after haggling down a $1 painting for 50 cents at a yard sale. Feels even better when it's appraised at $10,000
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Sat March 14, 2015
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Sorry, there is no "stench from decaying body downstairs" clause that allows you to break your lease
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
What to do when oil is cheap? If you're a homeowner, fill up your tank. If you're a country, buy 5 million barrels
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Auction for Seattle's "Up" house doesn't go down well
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
You may soon finally be able to download a car. But of course, you wouldn't
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Police shoot your dog for barking on his own property? All good. Stab a police dog in self defense in your own home? 44 years for you
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 


Fri March 13, 2015
(Mashable)
 
 
 
If you own your own airplane, it really is your civic responsibility to use it to draw a penis in the sky
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
You know how it is... Small town. Not much to do in the evening
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Archaeologists unearth centuries-old Bavarian pretzels, hope to find some grog to help wash them down
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
No matter how rude the guy is, if you're the owner of a carpet store, you should never leave a message on a customer's phone threatening to kill him and his mother
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(WTFark)
 
Video
 
Things Round Top, Texas is known for: Biannual antiques fair, a small population, quaint Christian values... and male strippers
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(4)
 
(Eugene Register-Guard)
 
 
 
Oregon woman lights herself on fire while driving down freeway, crashes car on overpass, exits car on fire, jumps off overpass landing on pavement 40 feet below. Survives. "Police believe the incident was a suicide attempt"
source: registerguard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 


Thu March 12, 2015
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
The New York Rangers own the best record in the NHL as of last night, and this glove save by Cam Talbot is part of the reason why
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Titanic ice sculpture, which we last saw collapsing a few weeks ago, was rebuilt well enough that it refuses to go down on schedule
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
A bionics engineer enlists the aid of Robert Downey, Jr. to make some kid's day in a very dusty room
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
Prepare for Titanfall ... by downloading free stuff for its one-year anniversary. Now I'm going use one of my reliable excuses to skip out of work. Yep, the good ol' "I might have Ebola" excuse should get me plenty of time to enjoy this
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Slipknot guitarist stabbed by his own brother. He must be the negative one
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Tiger Woods can't name his new restaurant 'Tiger Woods' because Nike owns the rights to his name. Let this be a lesson to anyone considering selling their soul to the Devil
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Hell's Grannies strike again, bombing another South Jersey town
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you're planning a trip to Britain, be sure to visit the small Nottinghamshire town of Beeston. Odds are you'll be glad you did
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Wed March 11, 2015
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Blind dog-sled dog up for adoption. But, wait There's more. If you adopt now, he comes with his very own seeing eye dog. It's not News, it's Dawwwwwwwwww
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
The following NFL jerseys are now worthless: Graham - Saints, Gore - 49ers, Bradford - Rams, Foles - Eagles, T. Smith - Ravens, Ngata - Ravens, J. Thomas - Broncos, Cole - Eagles, Revis - Patriots, Manziel - Browns
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(245)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray these e-mails not to keep
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 


Tue March 10, 2015
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Jadeveon Clowney bitten by dog owned by teammate that stole his own truck. No, this isn't the latest country music hit song
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Some Mahalo)
 
 
 
"Blizzard conditions have shut down the road to the summit of the mountain, poor weather is forecast for the next several days, and webcams have been blinded by the snow. This has been your weather for Hawaii, stay tuned for sports"
source: bigislandvideonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL Free Agency begins at 4 PM EDT. Follow the moves your favorite teams make, or just use this thread to LOL at the 49ers, Jets, and Browns
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(321)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these crowned freaks
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hillary brings own microphone and reporters to live press conference about state department emails. Link goes to live feed
source: video.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(835)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Obama to propose a "Student Loan Bill of Rights" 1. You have the right to remain in poverty. 2. Any property you own will be owned by the school before your death
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Entire town learns sign language to surprise deaf man. Deaf man angry he can no longer call everyone assholes without them knowing
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)