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500 headlines found matching 'news'
Thu July 24, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, fatties: There's a newly discovered virus that you can blame your obesity and diabetes on. And it's even got "ass" in its name
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Jim Kelly will do the coin toss for the August 3 Hall Of Fame game in Canton. In other news, the NFL season starts in JUST TEN DAYS
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Breaking News: Beiber is still a huge D-Bag
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Time)
 
Plug
 
A clean start: From real estate exec to laundromat owner (Featured Partner)
 
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
When you post a network news report on You Tube, the network will drop a takedown notice to have it removed immediately, but if the network uses one of YOUR videos without permission (or even giving you credit)? Well that's just fine and dandy
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"How many Daily News reporters does it take to not fact check a story?"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Baristanet)
 
 
 
News: Dog shot in encounter with cop. Fark: Cop shot in encounter with dog
source: baristanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Sad news for Zonie Farkers - Wallace of "Wallace and Ladmo," the longest-running live children's show in television history, has gone to that big Ladmo Bag in the sky
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Wed July 23, 2014
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
It's over a hundred in Phoenix today, so the local news station does the only reasonable thing and anchors the show from a desk made of ice
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: Where every thread eventually becomes a food thread. Even sex threads. Especially sex threads
 
 
(Smatterist)
 
 
 
Not News: 11 odd and ridiculous female products. Fark: Sears 1908 catalog. Great-great grandma had it going on
source: smatterist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox News argues that foreigners should not be helped by emergency workers. This should be great for the tourism industry
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Obama cancels Jimmy Kimmel show appearance, says it's not wise to do a comedy show in the middle of two international crises. In other news, Obama thinks Jimmy Kimmel's show is comedy
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Berkeley)
 
 
 
New mini-lasers can detect explosives anywhere: Great news for humans, bad news for bomb-sniffing dogs
source: alumni.berkeley.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Tue July 22, 2014
(TooFab)
 
 
 
Cast of "Napoleon Dynamite" reunites for 10th anniversary. In related news, Tina the llama is stillll allive
source: toofab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
News: Man critically injured after being run over by street sweeper. Fark: He was the driver
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman decides to go to the mall. News: While drunk and with the 5-year-old boy she is watching. Fark: She yells at paramedics, told the officer she was just "looking for her car," stumbled in to the road with the boy and spit at an officer
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Not news: New far-right British Nationalist Party leader was once banned from being a teacher. News: For life. Fark: For trying to run over children
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Odd news: man assaults bar patrons with hatchet. Fark: Man's name is Shelby Mustang GT500 Miller ("Mustang GT500" is my middle name)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Corporate campaign contributions: evil and worthy of saturation coverage when the Koch Bros. buy Republicans. When GE buys Democrats it's okay, not news, nothing to see here
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Mon July 21, 2014
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Not news: being racially discriminated against at your job. Fark: being racially discriminated against at your industrial disaster
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Not news: 22,000 show up for a game at Safeco Field in Seattle. News: For a softball game. Fark: Kobe Bryant went yard
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Good news for Lieutenant Hurwitz
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
British news network Sky News realizes that, in retrospect, maybe, just maybe, having a reporter rifle through the luggage of a flight MH17 victim live on the air, wasn't in the best possible taste. Fortunately "a" dildo was not among the contents
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney admits that, three months before a tourist had several fingers lopped off on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, a twelve year-old boy also had four fingers chopped off on the same ride. But that incident didn't make the news
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 


Sun July 20, 2014
(The Big Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Farker Mactheknife is raising funds to launch a new community radio station. News: his group's received FCC approval. Fark: and they've granted it the call sign "WKRP"
source: kickstartkrp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What if cable news covered the moon landing? CNN would wonder if MH-370 were there, Fox would blame Obama for the moon not being made of cheese, and you would be sick of the moon long before anyone landed
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Good news for CNN: They still have a viewer, and he wants to buy them. Bad news for CBS: It's their president
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Not news: Pregnant woman is attacked. News: By almost a dozen robbers, three girls and seven boys between the ages of 17-20 while waiting at a bus stop. Fark: All the robbers were wearing bathing suits
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Ericsson shares jump on news of someone buying one of their phones
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 


Sat July 19, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
News: Man changes flying plans at the last minute, avoids boarding doomed flight MH370. Fark: Man changes flying plans again at the last minute, avoids boarding doomed flight MH17
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
KY pastor wants the ID of teens who keep breaking into his church, making pizza and taunting the security cameras. In other news, well apparently there isn't a whole lot of other news in Dry Ridge, KY
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
End of week: check. Pants off: check. Phone is off the hook to avoid pesky clients: check. Fark Weird News Quiz:
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Fri July 18, 2014
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Not news: Man leads police on 80mph chase on two flat tires. News: Hits a pole, some decorative landscaping and pilings. Fark: The man was still drunk four hours after the crash
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Legacy.com)
 
 
 
Sad news about the passing of a fellow TFer, Deacon Blue
source: legacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Is it just me, or does everyone in the Obama administration get everything from watching TV news. Does anyone there know what is even going on
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
News: Temps in Britain to top 89°F during heatwave. Fark: Leading to warnings that HUNDREDS could die
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Good news: the black box from the shot down flight has been found. Fark: by the rebels, who promptly sent it to Moscow for a thorough independent investigation
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 


Thu July 17, 2014
(AP)
 
 
 
In NFL news, the Santa Clara 49ers officially open their $1.2 billion new stadium, located 45 miles south of San Francisco
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
What's worse for your restaurant: a bad review by a local blogger, or making international news for suing your dissatisfied customers?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bad news for chocolate lovers: the price of Hershey's chocolate is going up. Worse news for chocolate lovers: Hershey's is still considered to be chocolate
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Good News: Danica McKellar is engaged. Bad News: Not to you
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Wed July 16, 2014
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
For California death row inmates we have good news and bad news. The good news is that the death penalty in California has been found unconstitutional. The bad news is it's because they aren't executing you quick enough
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Not News: 1-year-old catches something at daycare. Fark: Herpes
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Uncut)
 
 
 
German police shut down Europe's biggest counterfeit record-pressing plant. In related news, enough records are still being bought that it's worthwhile to make counterfeit copies
source: uncut.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
How to become a cable news pundit, using items you probably already have around your home now
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Japan: That earthquake, tidal wave, and nuclear disaster were terrible, but at least Mt. Fuji isn't erupting. Newspaper: Earthquake has raised pressure below Mt. Fuji, volcano is in a 'critical state'. Japan: $#%@
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Report says Crisco died of heart disease.....in other news, Johnny Walker died of cirrhosis of the liver
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Tue July 15, 2014
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
News: 9-year-old and 4-year-old steal car, go on joyride. Fark: For the second time in a month
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's not news, it's the Conspiracy News Network
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fox News commentator asked to resign for not using the preferred nomenclature
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(WSBT Mishawaka)
 
 
 
New ruling in Indiana allows for non-religious weddings. In other news, apparently it was illegal to have non-religious weddings
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
US patent office tells Apple they can't patent a fingerprint sensor just because they don't want anyone else to have a more pleasant UX. In other news, Android phones soon to come with a fingerprint sensor that's worth having
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Female First)
 
 
 
Crazed, overprotective parents now training kids in sports like sack racing so they will win school field-day events. In related news, sales of practice sacks are soaring on Amazon
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, Millennials-- Your Social Security dollars will ensure Baby Boomers can have a retirement. Now get off my lawn and get to work
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 


Mon July 14, 2014
(Siberian Times)
 
 
 
A hailstorm pounds people at a beach in Siberia. In other news, there's a beach in Siberia
source: siberiantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Sun July 13, 2014
(CNN)
 
 
 
News: Plane diverted to Midway Airport. Fark: Plane diverted to Midway Island Airport
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(NASCAR)
 
 
 
Good news: We have mercifully made it to the end of TNT's Sprint Cup coverage. Bad news: Kyle Busch and Jimmie Johnson are your front row starters. It's the Camping World RV 301, live at 1pm ET on LOLTNT
source: nascar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(516)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not News: Yale grad takes a hike. News: It was 9,000 miles long. FARK: He did not speak for that entire time
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Sat July 12, 2014
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
News: Police break up party serving alcohol to over 50 people without a permit. Fark: at a retirement home
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"What If The World Cup Were Awarded For Saving Trees And Drinking Soda?", or, what a slow news day looks like on NPR
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Fri July 11, 2014
(RYOT.org)
 
 
 
Old news: Trendy hipster chicks putting crown of flowers in their hair. New yuck: Trendy hipster dudes putting crown of flowers in their beards
source: ryot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
News: Guy steals $460,000. Fark: In quarters. Farked up: And he only has to pay back half of it
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(UTV (Ireland))
 
 
 
World famous rocks stolen from Portrush. In related news, world famous rocks
source: u.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Weird News Quiz. It's got electrolytes, which plants crave
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
If you're going to hold up your news script while live on the air, it might be a good idea to check the doodle your co-anchor has just scribbled on the back
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Remember that family that took a sick baby on a sailboat voyage and had to be rescued by Coast Guard when baby's health took a downturn? They're back in the news, armed with a lawyer and suing the cell phone provider
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
If you're an ex-boyfriend of Kendall Jones, some democrat running for Congress has some great news for you
source: politics.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
Jack Blades reveals the details of a new Night Ranger album, which would be welcome news if it were still 1982
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Thu July 10, 2014
(The Daily Signal)
 
 
 
38 Journalism groups, led by the Society of Professional Journalists, complain about Administration suppression of the news. In a demonstration of transparency, Obama expected to pretend not to see the complaint
source: dailysignal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Good news: Jesse Jackson says he can put an end to the violence in Chicago, and it's only going to cost $2 billion
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Poll: Millennials think government is inefficient, abusive and cronytastic, plan to vote for more inefficiency, abuse and cronyism this fall and in 2016. This is great news for Democrats and Republicans
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
What are history's worst typos? And just what did The Count from Sesame Street do to make that newspaper copy writer so angry?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fox News upset at an employee going rogue
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
Security guard gets fired from job due to news footage of him being the first person to buy legal recreational marijuana in the State of Washington. That's some fine bud there Lou
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
BBC America renews Orphan Black for a third series
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 


Wed July 09, 2014
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
You're not going to believe this, but following the Hobby Lobby ruling, some religious organizations are openly campaigning to make it legal to openly discriminate against gays. The good news is their next target is the reinstitution of slavery
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(320)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Not News: Plane grounded by storm. News: Pilot buys pizza for all the passengers and crew. Fark: It was Domino's
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Ah summer, the official silly season when it comes to news. As the financial community takes a well-deserved break the hunt for news can often become a desperate one. Ideal conditions for the savvy press officers out there"
source: fundweb.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Tue July 08, 2014
(CrushPlate)
 
 
 
Not news: Man enters family's home and recites scripture. News: At 2 a.m. by breaking down their front door. Fark: He's naked and tripping balls
source: crushplate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Independent survey of news channels' truthfulness finds that about 60 percent of the statements on Fox News come straight from Bullshiat Mountain
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Addicting Info)
 
 
 
Unemployment drops to 6.1%. This is bad news, for Obama
source: addictinginfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Good news on the global warming front as scientists announce Earth has lived through it before. The bad news is last time the oceans rose 18 feet. So unless you're a plebe that can't afford vast ocean front property, you're screwed
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Everyone has an opinion on the Redskins naming situation, but if you have a warrant out for your arrest on drug charges in New York, you might not want to let a newspaper use your name and photo
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(WAAY TV)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman arrested. News: After attempting to steal beer from Wal-Mart. Fark: On a horse that wasn't hers. Bonus: NOT Florida
source: waaytv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 


Mon July 07, 2014
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Canada destroys Kuwait 91-0 in their match at International Federation of American Football tournament. In related news, there appears to be a genuine world championship in the sport of American football
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(ScienceBlog)
 
 
 
We have a candidate for 'Most boring science news headline' for 2014: "Researchers uncover new knowledge about our intestines?"
source: scienceblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you hid your jar full of change a couple thousand years ago and can't remember where, we've got some good news for you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Eyewitness News weatherguy loses his in fireworks accident
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Bad news, honey. Hackers remotely turned off my birth control chip and now I'm pregnant"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Not news: house with good transport links for sale. FARK: it comes with its own railway station
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Kickstarter)
 
 
 
NOT NEWS: Guy from my town wants to make potato salad but is broke. NEWS: He starts a kickstarter campaign to raise $10 for his potato salad ingredients. FARK: He raises $8,511 and is throwing a giant potato salad party
source: kickstarter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish fisherman finds full-size falukorv inside pike he landed while fishing. In Sweden, anything having to do with falukorv is news. (With pic of pike, falukorv)
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Finally, some news you can use: Seven tips to help you have a great one-night stand
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Not news: Man decides he wants to divorce his wife. News: After her ex-lover gave him a memory stick with intimate pictures of her with her ex. Fark: And this all happened on their wedding night
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 


Sun July 06, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
Explosive news: Roughly 9/11 emails intercepted by NSA were plain communications, which blows up the idea that...hang on, someone's at my door
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: The sister of a firefighter killed on 9/11 is given a flag that was flown over the World Trade Center ruins. News: The flag is stolen when she hung it up outside. Fark: Then returned 4 days later with a note reading 'I am so sorry'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Disney announces 'Star Wars: Episode VII' production hiatus, buries the news in press release about two actors being picked in open casting call
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
Not News: Drunk guy uses hotel fire hose. News: Water from hose causes extensive damage with 500 guests evacuated. Fark: Water believed to have sparked fire in electrical room. WTFark: Sci-Fi convention cancelled (subby was there)
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad news everyone, Courtney Love is planning on assaulting our ears once more. This time in a duet with train-wreck and former child star Miley Cyrus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 


Sat July 05, 2014
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Not news: A Culver's restaurant in Wisconsin burns down. News: Instead of firing the staff the owner pays $144,000 out of his own pocket to keep his staff while rebuilding. Fark: And only asked them to use the time to volunteer in the community
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If you're a newspaper photographer and you have to work on the Fourth of July, you can always hope the editor will send you to the beach to take pictures of women in red-white-and-blue bikinis
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Bakersfield Now)
 
 
 
A civil rights group that advocates on behalf of sex offenders are suing cities in California over ordinances that ban them from places. In other news there are groups that advocate on behalf of sex offenders
source: bakersfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Republicans are probably going to win the Senate this November. This is good news...for Obama
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Not news: City bans texting while driving. Fark: City bans texting while biking
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Not news: $2 million pot farm found in Texas. News: On federal land
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
News: Man found curled up in a blood-stained bed with his cousin's naked body hanging nearby. WTFark: He claims it was rough sex gone wrong and is cleared of all charges
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Not news: Family of Yankee fans has a father named Casey, brothers named Mickey, Roger and Andy. News: Children named Jeter, Yogi and Maris
source: wapc.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Fri July 04, 2014
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News asks, "Are American cars are going extinct?" If you can answer that, you should be able to answer "Is are children learnding?"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Slightly early version of the Fark Weird News Quiz, because face it--if you're at work, you sure as heck aren't working a full day
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you thought the Air Force's worst boondoggle in recent memory, the F-35, couldn't get any more boondogglery, well we've got some bad news for you
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jaromir Jagr, hockey's Abe Vigoda, outlasts another one: Alexei Kovalev calls it a career after 24 years. In other news, Kovalev was still playing. Somewhere. Allegedly
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Thu July 03, 2014
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Prepare for even more obnoxious video ads in the Facebook newsfeed, doing away with computer speakers once and for all
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
'Bubbling' Is the new teen trend that no teen anywhere has ever done but will be reported in horrified tones by news outlets across the country
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It takes a brave NY Daily newser to go to Belgium only to get knocked around, booed, have beer thrown at you, and then get smothered by Belgian hotties after your U.S. team gets eliminated by them
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Wed July 02, 2014
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Concerned that GM is dominating the news lately, Hyundai recalls 58,000 Elantras
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Artist's" messy bed "strewn with cigarette butts, discarded condoms and empty booze bottles" sells for $4.4 million. In related news, Farkers are going to sleep on gold mines
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not News: Woman finds class ring. FARK: After 60 years and it was discovered in a dried-up lake
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Daily News' review of NYC's Tavern on the Green sets a new gold standard for evisceration by sarcasm. What's this guy's Fark handle anyway?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Fox News gets an "exclusive" interview with Bill Ayers, proceed to cream themselves all over the thoughts of what he could tell them about Obama
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The greatest news anyone under the age of 50 will hear all year
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Tue July 01, 2014
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Fox News: "President Obama is anti-American because he's not spending $100 billion on a trip to Brazil to watch America lose to Belgium"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good news ladies, the so-called "cannibal cop" is available to have dinner with you after his conviction was overturned by a federal judge
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
News: Man calls 911 twice to report location of fleeing criminal. Genius: Caller WAS the criminal, actually heading the other way
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
When does soccer make the news when it doesn't involve the World Cup? When a player critically assaults a referee
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Netflix eliminates 79 streaming movies, including Rocky I thru V. However there's good news if your basic instinct runs towards Sharon Stone
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 


Mon June 30, 2014
(CNN)
 
 
 
News: Monty Python derided as a bunch of "wrinkly old men trying to relive their youth." Fark: By Mick Jagger
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Oldman yells at cloud, Chewy Luis in the news, and the Vatican realizes that people have their own definition of "coming to Jesus": some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/22 - 6/28
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Alaskan salmon isn't radioactive. We think. At least we're pretty sure it isn't, so go ahead and eat up. It most likely won't harm you. We hope
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Good news: ISIL no longer exists as an organization. Bad news: Because it dropped the "IL" and anointed its leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi as Caliph of the Muslim world. This should end well
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In other news, research has begun to identify Millennial demographic preferences for a) World War III, b) World War 3, or c) World War Three
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
News: Someone thinks Lionel Messi is playing "weak". Fark: It's his grandfather
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Sun June 29, 2014
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Marine who deserted in 2004 while in Iraq, then reappeared in Beirut, disappearing again before Camp Lejeune court martial, has reappeared in undisclosed Middle East location, and now back in custody. Can't wait until Fox News learns about this guy
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Manufacturing jobs are finally returning to America on news that workers will accept slave wages and zero benefits. All hail, the JOB CREATORS
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
News: Prestigious private school provides morning-after pill to students. FARK: They run out of pills after one weekend
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 


Sat June 28, 2014
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Three arrested inside a Walmart after robbing $10,000 worth of electronics from a nearby Radio Shack. In other news, there's $10,000 worth of electronics at Radio Shack
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Actual news, or Family Guy scene? Man in search of his lost cell phone wearing leopard print bikini top and black skirt assaults customers with a skillet plate and mugs at Denny's
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Fri June 27, 2014
(Fark)
 
 
 
And now, our weekly check to see whether or not you were busy at work this week. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz. And we promise we won't tell your boss if you score well
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
After Neil Cavuto's testy interview with Michele Bachmann, Fox News viewer complains that Republicans get a raw deal on the network: "I will watch for a Dem to get grilled like that but won't hold my breath"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Do you binge watch TV shows? Well, good news; you're twice as likely to die an early death as people who take their time
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Thu June 26, 2014
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN reporter boards Romerocopter, reports that World Cup is extremely trending topic on social media, and may be biggest social media event ever. Time to rush home and watch CNN to see what people on Twitter think about this news
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Malaysia Airline CEO says the search for flight 370 could take decades. In related news, CNN announces its programming lineup for the next ten years
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
News: Police chase man and tase him. Fark: In a canoe
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
The good news is Delaware's beaches have the cleanest water of any in the country. The bad news is you have to be in Delaware to enjoy them
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Obamacare will "suck the life" out of the economy, claims another right-wing mouthpiece from Fox News, who apparently can't understand--wait, CNBC? Oh shiat
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Man is attacked by a scorpion when he reached for a banana at Wal-Mart. In related news, Klaus Meine is working at Wal-Mart, and apparently he has banana-related anger management issues
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not News: Store posts no guns allowed sign. News: After manager was stabbed in an assault. Fark: The stabbing was stopped by a civilian with a CCW
source: buzzpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(381)
 


Wed June 25, 2014
(Mashable)
 
 
 
BBC: "NYPD Twitter campaign 'backfires' after hashtag hijacked. Push sucks Pull blows BREAKING NEWS No nudity in latest episode of Game of Thrones MORE BREAKING NEWS IIIIII like testing"
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
The good news: You're not going to jail. The bad news: Because you died
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Diane Sawyer to step down as ABC World News anchor. Opus despondent
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Not news: Man going behind bars for stealing AC units. News: Federal prison. Fark: Because he violated the Clean Air Act
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fox News asks: Does it come in blonde?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
In "blind squirrel finds a nut" news, the Supreme Court decides 9-0 that cell phones are "effects" and you kinda need a warrant before searching them
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to see Fox News host brawl with police? Well Greg Jarrett would like to fulfill your wish
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Not news: Winning $1000 after a successful 175:1 bet on the World Cup. News: Wagering that Suarez would bite another player
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Chewy Luis in the news
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Life can be pretty confusing when you're 16, and sometimes you just want to climb up the side of a mountain and get away from the world. But then you get stuck and your rescue gets aired on the nighttime news
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Tue June 24, 2014
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
News: Landslide threatens Alaska Pipeline, highway. Fark: The landslide is moving a few inches a week, and officials are considering doing something about it in 2017
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: Pope Francis stopped his motorcade to bless a disabled woman by the side of the road. Fark: when he was done he climbed right back into his unmarked Ford Focus and drove off
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And the worst job translating a news story goes to
source: esngate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
News: Man busted for running child porn operation out of his home. Fark: Also running a "daycare and mentoring program" out of his home
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Remember the News of the World phone hacking scandal? Well we finally got some verdicts
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Survey finds 20 percent of Canadians have abandoned landlines in favor of cellphones. In related news, 80 percent of Canadians still have landlines
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox News guest whose "impeccable" sources hosts vouched for, claims that Bill Clinton smiled when he was told he had "a progressive heart condition because the term sounded Liberal," and he plotted how to use his death to get Hillary elected
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Nestle, the biggest food company in the world, says it is planning to build a Star Trek-style food replicator which produces food tailored to an individual's taste "at the press of a button." In related news, Nestle plans to invent vending machines
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Anonymous tracking data is only anonymous if nobody screws up the anonymizing. In other news, data on 173 million NYC cab trips are now available
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Parents who waited 18 years to have the house back, I have bad news: "Boomerang kids" are not leaving anytime soon, and if you wait for them to just "figure things out," they'll just outlive you
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(399)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Study finds casual sex is good for you
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(FullFact)
 
 
 
How to interpret health news stories for yourself, because the media will invariably get it wrong
source: fullfact.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Mon June 23, 2014
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: blog calls Philadelphia the worst sports city in America. Fark: it's a Philly fan blog, and it uses stats to explain why
source: thegoodphight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Daily Planet)
 
 
 
Bemused newspaper dutifully reports on the rise of a new crimefighter in Gays Mills, Wisconsin. Someone took their Champions character a little too seriously
source: swnews4u.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Astronomers discover that solar moss on surface of sun shakes at 16,000mph. In related news, the sun has moss, and it must be pretty damp so it doesn't all burn up (pics)
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Fox News host complains that "it's just not fair" to hold Fox News accountable for misinformation, half-assed conspiracy theories and biased commentary made on-air by the network's hosts and contributors. LEAVE FOX NEWS ALONE
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 


Sun June 22, 2014
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Carmelo; "Start spreadin' the news, I'm leavin' today. I don't want to be a part of it. Anywhere but New York, New York." Melo opts out of Knicks contract
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Hardball Talk)
 
 
 
In 'I didn't know you could do that' news, Baltimore Orioles pitcher Kevin Gausman traded his number to Ubaldo Jimenez for a Rolex watch
source: hardballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Sat June 21, 2014
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Toaster-car parks behind banana-mobile. This is what passes for news these days in Kalamazoo
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Not news: A 82-year-old man is cited by police as he flies a kite. News: While naked. Fark: At county fairgrounds with a youth group nearby. Bonus: He was banned and told to stay away but came back the next day
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pro-tip for news reporter: Do not challenge a high school cheerleader to a toe-touch for you will fail
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is finally over after a Illinois man finds his 13 missing cattle... in his neighbor's yard after someone left a gate open. In other news, 13 cattle are worth $25,000
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Fri June 20, 2014
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Old news IS so exciting. Chuck Berry's punk rock record reviews are terse and spot-on
source: blogs.riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
We report, you decide, but keep in mind some of the Fox newscasters are liberal
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Good news, if you own a car in Los Angeles, you own a home
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(The Scientist)
 
 
 
Scientists use 17 skulls from 430,000 years ago to demonstrate the early evolution of what would eventually become the Neanderthals. In other news, this headline lacks any jokes but don't worry there will be plenty of jokes to the right
source: the-scientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The good news is that it's now illegal, at least in New York, to tattoo your pet. The bad news: people have been getting their farking pets tattooed
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 


Thu June 19, 2014
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Today's actual news headline: Dancing man detained as truck burns on Bay Bridge
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
CNN and FoxNews both breathlessly promote their "exclusive interview". With the same person. Who's been interviewed on both networks many, many, many times before. I mean, it's not like Hillary has been living under a rock the past 20 years, ya know
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: the ranks of the super-rich are growing. That wealth is sure to start trickling down any time now
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The good news: turns out the vast majority of ISP's are indeed delivering the bandwidth they promised. And the bad news: for only very short periods of time, of course
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
If you miss your exit, don't drive the wrong way down an on ramp. If you do, don't come back and chew out the news cameraman for catching you. If you do, don't take off your face-covering helmet
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Wed June 18, 2014
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New 'superfracking' technology is good news for people who have invested their life savings in sand
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(GameZone)
 
 
 
"The lack of professionalism in video game journalism is jarring to me. A lot of it is due to the fact that just anyone can start a video game coverage site or blog." In related news, video game journalism once had "professionalism"
source: gamezone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
It's finally come down to this: Fox News invites NFL analyst and renowned geopolitical and counter-terrorism expert Terry Bradshaw to weigh in on Benghazi and Hillary Clinton (w/video)
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(AATTP.org)
 
 
 
Fox News, upon learning that veterans at a CA hospital requested that the hospital stop playing Fox News in the waiting rooms: RELEASE THE DERPEN
source: aattp.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A local news reporter doing a story about increased crime in Oakland gets her purse stolen from the news truck while she was on the air. Bonus: They were parked in front of the police station
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Popeye's announces it has spent $43 million buying its recipes for fried chicken and other menu items. In related news, Popeye's didn't own its own recipes
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Not news: A 72-year-old bay area man runs in the Dipsea race for the 44th consecutive year. News: And manages to finish. Fark: Despite having a heart attack
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Not News (well...): Cubs win on a pinch-hit RBI double in the 13th inning. Fark: The pinch-hitter was pitcher Travis Wood
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Today's non-story news story: Roller coaster briefly stops while going up a lift hill
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Tue June 17, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
News: People are shocked, SHOCKED that a doctor would mislead them by promoting medications that would help people lose weight, but didn't. Fark: This 'doctor' is Dr. Oz
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
From the you have got to be kidding me files: Fox News Praises George W. Bush's Ability To Anticipate Problems In Iraq
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(446)
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
LAPD clarifies it wasn't their drone outside Staples Center during Stanley Cup Final that was taken out by a Kings fan's t-shirt. In other news, Jack Bauer now replaced by Duff Man
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Mon June 16, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In related news, getting a degree from Arizona State gets you a Starbucks job
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Are you worried about the negative effects of Mercury's retrograde on your mind, body, and spirit? Good news: The new Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten (TM) is here to help you
source: sextile.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Not news: Mother fulfills her daughters dream. News: Her 25-year-old daughter who has Down syndrome's dream. Fark: By throwing her a bridal themed birthday party with her daughter getting pampered for her 'big day'. Damn dusty in here
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 


Sun June 15, 2014
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
News: Search for missing kayaker called off. Good news: Because they found him, alive and well. Fark: At home, oblivious to the search
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Science Recorder)
 
 
 
Good news everyone, NASA has invented a smell-o-scope
source: sciencerecorder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Richard Dreyfuss' wife arrested for DUI after hit-and-run accident. Upon hearing the news, Dreyfuss made a perfect replica of the Betty Ford Clinic using only mashed potatoes
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Good news, ladies living in Alaska. You can now get free pregnancy tests in bar bathrooms, the same place you can get condoms, cigarettes, tampons, before and after mints, edible underwear, fake tattoos and in some cases dinner
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Sat June 14, 2014
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
Trapper John goes on Fox News and says President Obama should be impeached
source: wnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not news: Vandal sprays walls of police station with 'DUMB COPS' and 'KINGY BOYZ RULE' graffiti before fleeing on child's scooter. Fark: Suspect is 63 years old
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Stacey Dash is drinking from the Fox News water cooler, says the GOP has always supported gay marriage
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time to remove your pants and have a cold beer at the ready: it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz: Hell Yes It's Summer edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Fri June 13, 2014
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
When a news article needs to remind you that you shouldn't smear peanut butter all over your dog and tie him up outside you KNOW it is bear season in Illinois
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Newseum)
 
 
 
Front page of Toronto newspaper summarizes provincial election results in a professional, unbiased manner
source: newseum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Holder of $18 million in Bitcoins to auction them off. Fark: It's the US government
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
The sad, sorry decline of George Will from Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist to Fox News wannabe
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
News: Comcast planning to roll out millions of new Wi-Fi hotspots nationwide. Fark: Using their residential customers' routers
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 


Thu June 12, 2014
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
News: Today's teens are drinking less, smoking less, and having less unprotected sex. Fark: Because they're spending too much time on their phones to hang out in person
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what REALLY goes into a Slim Jim? Well the good news is that it's real beef. Partly
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Wed June 11, 2014
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
News: Man arrested for having sex with pool float. Fark: For the THIRD time. Man, get a room
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Complex)
 
 
 
Not news: Game of Thrones book nerd airs his grievances about the HBO show. Fark: George R. R. Martin
source: complex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(The Wire)
 
 
 
Sony unveils a new PS4 video game trailer that is pretty much guaranteed to be played on all cable news networks every time there is a mass shooting incident in the next five years
source: thewire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Good news: You may finally get trickled down on
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(CrushPlate)
 
 
 
Not news: School censors Arizona high school year book. News: School officials make students carry out the censorship. Fark: By hand, with duct tape
source: crushplate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 


Tue June 10, 2014
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the Front Page of the Bangor Daily News: Naked guy and other abuses cause landowner to post her land (w/sfw pics) (18)
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Not News: Set of twins are born. Fark: Three weeks apart
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"When news breaks of a school shooting like the one at Seattle Pacific University, there's almost always something that the early reports get wrong: that there might be more than one shooter." Here's why
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Not news: Seattle anesthesiologist has license suspended because of sexting. Fark: during surgeries
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Mon June 09, 2014
(NHL)
 
 
 
♫ Start spreading the news, it's game three tonite.. I want to be a part of it, New York, New York.. This vagabond team, is longing to stay.. Right in the very mix of it, New York, New York ♪ ...puck drops @8:00ET
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(899)
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
What if Fox News had covered D-Day?
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
News: Father leaves his seven-year-old son home alone in a house with no electricity which catches on fire. WTFark: While the kid was able to get out of the burning home his father was "visiting friends at IHOP"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Man who drove cross-country with dead body in passenger seat won't face charges, which is good news for all of us who need to clean out our trunks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
You should sit down for this absolutely shocking news: the Las Vegas shooters were known for spouting white power propaganda, bragging about their extensive gun collection, and joining Cliven Bundy in his standoff against the BLM
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(481)
 


Sun June 08, 2014
(Optimal Human Modulation)
 
 
 
According to Fox News, we're supposed to fear: African-Americans, women, LGBTs, Latinos, public school teachers, the poor, unions, zombies, Girl Scouts, Ivy League graduates, pot smokers, scientists...(okay...not enough room on a Fark headline.)
source: optimalhumanmodulation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Minnesota teen spends a year living in a snow cave to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. In related news, you can sleep in a snow cave in Minnesota in August (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Sat June 07, 2014
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Not news: A woman is picking up her son from summer math camp. News: Teachers forced her son on the bus even though he told them his mom was there. Fark: Then it gets really stupid
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 


Fri June 06, 2014
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
Fox News host: "Neil de Grasse Tyson says alien life may think we are unintelligent after seeing our television signals. What say you, neckbearded guest?" Neckbearded guest: "Tyson is just some black guy who is drunk with adulation"
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Because it wouldn't be a "-ghazi" without a Senator skipping a briefing to go on Fox News to complain about not being briefed
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Federal Reserve survey says the U.S. economy is showing improvement. In related news, GM builds perfect cars and your cable guy will arrive between 9 and 1
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
News: Agents seize over 150 bags of heroin in man's vehicle, along with $1,200 in U.S. currency. Fark: They also find an additional 40 bags of heroin, crack cocaine, and Percocet pills in his bellybutton
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Not news: Twins are graduating high school. News: Triplets are graduating from high school. Fark: nine sets of twins and one set of triplets are graduating from the same high school
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Thu June 05, 2014
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Blowback: When it's 'Bad News' President Obama finds out about it by reading a newspaper, when he thinks it's 'Good News' he holds a press conference in the Rose Garden
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Law professor: "If money is speech, outlawing prostitution is unconstitutional." Subby wishes to subscribe to professor's newsletter
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Good News: Beer Now Grows on Trees. Bad news: It's non-alcoholic
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New 'Daily Show' correspondent leaves Jon Stewart speechless... by reporting actual news
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The only thing that could make this story absolutely perfect for the cable news nets were if Bergdahl were to be on a plane that went missing while on a flight to Benghazi
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 


Wed June 04, 2014
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
New study shows those who have to deliver bad news for a living--whether they are oncologists, first responders, HR managers, wedding planners, or Chicago Cubs announcers--are more emotionally sapped and stressed than others
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Not news: guy gives a friend a ride from Arizona to Michigan. News: somewhere in Texas, she, um, dies. Fark: he keeps going. For two days. To Michigan
source: troy.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Vultures moving into office space on K Street. News: actual vultures
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
So here are our TV cameras at the beach with their big ole zoomy lenses, in the bushes, filming women in their bikinis, but we're the news, so we good, right?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Finally a television news reporter asks a question we all want answered: Is it legal to break a car window to save a dog trapped in a hot car?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Fastest police car in the world has 350bhp, weighs 612kg, and goes zero-to-60 in 2.5 seconds. Bad news_ it has no back seat, which will force officers to shoot fleeing suspects rather than arrest them (pic)
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
News: Comcast promotes high speed internet for gaming. Fark: With a game that isn't played online
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 


Tue June 03, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you have a third grade education, good news: you can get into a college. Well, a for-profit college, anyway
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Google shuts down its coupon business. In related news, Google had a coupon business
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
News: Google announces it has finally made Glass 'Très chic.' Fark: It's even uglier than the original AND it's more expensive to boot
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Pajiba)
 
 
 
Good news: GRRM is getting closer to finishing books 6 and 7 in A Song of Ice and Fire. Bad news: There's probably going to be a book 8
source: pajiba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox news: Bowe Berghdahl's father's long beard makes him look like a member of the Taliban. Next up, super-patriot and all around swell guy, Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Good news everyone: We're getting out of Afghanistan finally. Better news everyone: We're gonna up our presence in the Europe because we love the 1950s so much
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Marvin Gaye's son, Marvin Gaye III needed a kidney transplant. News: He made an appeal for a donor on Entertainment Tonight. Fark: Someone actually came through after being moved by his plea for help
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
If the Tea Party wins the primary in Mississippi, could that spur the Democrats to win the senate seat? In related news, if I eat bacon from a pig that just flew out my butt, will I find the leprechaun's gold too?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Rob Liefeld says that the sequel to X-Men: Days of Future Past may have stalled the upcoming X-Force movie. In other news, Hollywood pouch makers are wondering to do with their massive inventory surplus
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Mon June 02, 2014
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
In news that will definitely not be misconstrued by conspiracy websites, NASA and US Navy plan to test saucer-shaped Martian vehicle on Tuesday
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Not news: A fifty-year-old man is placed under citizens arrest. News: After being spotted tagging an overpass. Fark: With a sharpie marker
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Sun June 01, 2014
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Not news: Red Sox go 7-10 over 17 games. News: The 10 losses came before the 7 wins. FARK: They're the third team to do so, EVER
source: mlb.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
News: Something, something, boring science FARK: HOLY %$&* THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The bad news: Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne have broken up. The good news: Michelle has reportedly been perusing newly separated and openly bisexual Evan Rachel Wood
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(ESPN FC)
 
 
 
FIFA officials implicated in bribes over Qatar World Cup bid. Old news is so exciting
source: espnfc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Man kidnapped by insurgents tells his girlfriend to move on thinking he is going to die. News: He gets released after 5 years. Fark: She has moved on and now doesn't know what she should do
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Good news, Caracas has cheap gasoline, plenty of toilet paper and an abundant supply of deodorant. Oh, you want drinking water too?
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Sat May 31, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you wake up regularly and think "Sure, I want a Twinkie for breakfast but I'll be good and eat this yogurt", you'll be very happy with the quality newsiness of this fine article
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman finds her long lost father on Facebook. News: After learning that chemotherapy wasn't helping her leukemia. Fark: Now her father and a half brother she never knew might be the ones to save her
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Darrel Issa tells John Kerry he can't testify before Issa's committee, immediately follows with telling FoxNews that Kerry is trying to avoid testifying before Congress
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Why online news is doomed, Part 397: "Online users will pay for digital products whose main value is entertainment (music) and solutions (software and apps), but are much less likely to pay for those providing knowledge (such as an online newspaper)"
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(CBS Seattle)
 
 
 
Not news: Oregon school to make condoms available. News: To 6th graders
source: seattle.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time for the Fark Weird News Quiz, y'all
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Fri May 30, 2014
(RedEye Chicago)
 
 
 
Pro wrestler CM Punk is painting a chair for Wrigley Field's 100th anniversary. Oh and he's now retired. But the big news is the chair
source: redeyechicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly: There's no income inequality, because Fox News pays its hot spokesblondes a lot of money. Checkmate, libs
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 


Thu May 29, 2014
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Not News: Google's diversity stats match up with average college Computer Science class demographics. Still Not News: This article trying to make it news
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Not News: Purported reality TV "millionaire" is not a millionaire; News: He attempts to correct that situation by extorting money from the federal government; Fark: His picture on The Smoking Gun
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"News is dead," says the guy who is trying to turn online news stories into glorified press releases
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Thief steals man's classic 1979 Datsun. In other news, the word "classic" has now been watered down to the point that it is being used to describe a 1979 Datsun
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 


Wed May 28, 2014
(Amarillo Globe-News)
 
 
 
News: Woman eats a 72 oz. steak in less than five minutes. Holy FARK: She eats another 72 oz. steak for 15 minutes total. After breakfast
source: amarillo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 


Tue May 27, 2014
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Not news: lawsuit filed against Instagram and What's App for violating users' privacy. News: Judge issues a subpoena compelling Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to personally appear and testify. Fark: in Iran
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(E&T Magazine)
 
 
 
In today's technology news, pigs have their own internet now
source: eandt.theiet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Today's news: Brain implants to cure mental disorders may soon be a thing. Future news: "Congress passes bill making voting for the wrong party a mental disorder"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
News: Three missing in Colorado mudslide. Holy fark: Mudslide estimated to be three miles long and up to 250 feet deep
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Mon May 26, 2014
(Hardball Talk)
 
 
 
Not News: Your new MLB home run leader is an Oriole. News: Not Chris Davis or Adam Jones
source: hardballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(EE Times)
 
 
 
The good news is we now have robots that will self-assemble into furniture. The bad news is their instructions are written by IKEA
source: eetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: Ron Harper defends himself against criticism by sports columnist. Fark: Onion columnist
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Man crashes boat he has lived on for 14 years. News: At the end of a 2,800 mile journey from Mexico to Hawaii. Fark: The man is blind, has no insurance on the boat and all the expensive equipment was then stolen
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 


Sun May 25, 2014
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
CNN's CEO Jeff Zucker: "Climate change doesn't bring in ratings." It's not news, it's CNN
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Not news: Minor league player hits his first home run of the season. News: A Houston Astros prospect hits his first home run of the season. Fark: And the ball is caught by his dad who drove 5 hours just to see him play this weekend
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Orlando Sentinel links to Breaking News that Six Flags is coming to Florida. Makes it lead story. Fails to read the linked article or the comments. Hey, at least they didn't quote The Onion. (but close)
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
So, according to Fox News' expert, who is responsible for a misogynist active shooter furious that women rejected his advances? A) The gays B) The gays, or C) The gays
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(315)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man is selling a piece of scrap paper with the word 'the' written on it on eBay and the bids have already reached $100. In other news, people will buy pretty much anything for ridiculous amounts of money these days
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 


Sat May 24, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
Not news: middle-school concert. News: parent is called on stage to sing. Fark: Phil Collins
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Nobody was shot last night in Chicago (this is huge news for Chicagoans)
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Good news: No selfies from World Cup. Bad news: No emergency calls either
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Good news everyone In Georgia, no more pesky questions on your job application if you committed a felony or not
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Weird News Quiz: the last thing you need to complete before you leave the office today, you big slacker
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: Mexican cartel threatens law enforcement. News: In Texas. Fark: They used a billboard
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
TGI Friday's now has a food truck. In other news, TGI Friday's doesn't understand what food trucks are all about
source: blogs.citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Fri May 23, 2014
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Having covered all the breaking news in New Hampshire, one news team tackles the hard hitting question: Who makes the best lobster roll? Not a chain restaurant in the bunch
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Man trims hedge. FARK: Into a 150 foot dragon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Not news: Picture of the moon. Fark: Taken from the International Space Station
source: space.io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Thu May 22, 2014
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Good news: "Black Mass" is being turned into a movie. Bad News: Johnny Depp is involved. WTF IS THIS SHIAT?: He's playing Whitey Bulger
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Inside Science)
 
 
 
Scientist who wrote "The Cooling World" article for Newsweek in 1975 would like to take it all back
source: insidescience.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(513)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
As May Sweeps comes to an end, investigative television news team reveals that some people on Craigslist are offering free rent in exchange for regular sex. "'Go for a roll in the hay,' the man said"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Not News: Man steals an NYC bread delivery truck. News: Said thief then proceeds to make every single scheduled delivery. Fark: In his underpants
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fox News anchor Gregg Jarrett arrested at airport bar after refusing to cooperate with police. Boy his beard does not match his hair
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news: Americans are eating more and more vegetables. Bad news: they're drowning in salt and fat
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 


Wed May 21, 2014
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Newspaper reporter allergic to newspaper ink
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Survey finds that women whose partner suffers from premature ejaculation develop psychological issues from never having orgasms. Huh. In related news, women can have orgasms now
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Remember how Obama said he learned about the VA scandal when he saw it on the news? Yeah, about that
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Justice Roberts: The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to...just...stop it. Eric Holder: With all due respect, it's not that simple. Fox News: SCARY BLACK MAN LAUNCHES RACE ATTACK AGAINST KINDLY WHITE MAN
source: nation.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(399)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: 16-year-old is arrested for robbery. News: After his mom drove him to the police station and turned him in. FARK: Grandma also shows up and the two furious women take turns yelling at the him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
In today's overturned truck news we have... BEES
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 


Tue May 20, 2014
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. You can all stop worrying about this whole VA thing. Obama has dispatched a top aide to look into the matter. A TOP aide
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
CBS News Tests Shouting
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
The bad news: 148 migrant workers have already died from heat while building Qatar's World Cup facilities. The worse news: They've only started work on one of the 12 stadiums they need to build
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Good news San Francisco Bay Area, a new study says your next "Big One" won't be just one. It will be a clusterf*ck of many earthquakes
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Russia: "We will abandon the ISS in 2020." News media: "Oh noes, this is horrible." Common sense: "Um...chill, folks. That was the agreement all along"
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to create a fake reporter to shill snake oil on your website, try not to use the headshot of a real news anchor that's long been an Internet obsession, even if she is French
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"Joe Biden: Origins" His legend peaked after the 2012 VP debate when a movement to buy him a T-Bird was started on an obscure news-aggregator website, Fark.com. This documentary narrated by Ken Burns
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
World's oldest known pussy turns 114. In other news, "Vogue" topped the charts 24 years ago today
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Live4ever)
 
 
 
'Dubstep killed guitar music - but it's coming back.' In related news, bands whose guitarists have only mastered two chords in eight years and who couldn't make eye contact with a crowd if their lives depended on it are also expecting a renaissance
source: live4ever.uk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Everything you need to know about the Dungeons & Dragons relaunch. Then again, since you're reading this on Fark in the Geek section, this is probably really old news
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Department store sells 12 Years a Slave on DVD. News: By using a mannequin. FARK: A mannequin dressed in slave clothing. "It should clearly have never gone up"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 


Mon May 19, 2014
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
The bad news: Man gets sent to prison for illegally downloading movies. The good news: The prison has lots of illegally downloaded movies for him to watch
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Not news: TX teen busted for making a pan of pot brownies. News: he faces 5 years to life if convicted. Fark because under TX law the weight of the brownies, including the flour, cocoa and sugar, all count towards the weight of drugs he "possessed"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Newspaper: noun ~ a printed publication (usually issued daily or weekly) consisting of folded unstapled sheets and containing news, feature articles, advertisements, and correspondence, but that's not important right now
source: framework.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Portland Intelligencer)
 
 
 
Not news: guy calls paramedics for a medical crisis, asks them not to bring cops, and everything ends well. News: the news goes crazy
source: pdxintelligencer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 


Sun May 18, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
If you live in Washington, and like Hitler, have I got some good news for you
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(160)
 


Fri May 16, 2014
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Fox News tries to get an air of credibility by adding Stacey Dash to their cast of "news anchors"
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(136)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Vatican urges bishops to consider arguments in favor of married priests, the Eucharist for the divorced, and homosexuality. In other news, Satan puts on ice skates
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(68)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
All that fish oil you're consuming? Well, if you're consuming it because you love, love, love it, then everything's peachy. If you're consuming it for that whole "protect against heart disease" thing, well, then, I've got some bad news for you
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(92)
 
(Blogs.com)
 
 
 
Reports of the imminent death of Second Life may be slightly exaggerated. The fact that there are still people playing Second Life, however, is by far the more shocking news
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(54)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
News: Denver Police get a tip leading them to men who are dealing heroin and cocaine. Fark: The tip was posted by one of the Mommies on the "Highlands Mommies" website. Finally, someone thought of the Children
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(15)
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Not news: Kim Jong Un takes in an air show. News: North Korea has a YouTube channel
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(27)
 


Thu May 15, 2014
(South Florida News-Press)
 
 
 
Actual headline: FL woman who has been in the news for living "off the grid" believed singing George Michael's "Faith" would help her dog
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(25)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Hillary's head injury -- which was fake -- means she can't run for president, according to Fox News
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(110)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
This may come as a surprise to some of you, but Fox News isn't the most honorable pollster out there
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(112)
 
(WBOY Clarksburg)
 
 
 
In the least shocking news of the day, it turns out that WV mine that was the scene of an accident Tuesday that killed two, had a long history of safety violations and MSHA was one step away from seeking a court order to shut it down completely
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(73)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
What was it like to be on the second floor of that Maryland news station yesterday, when an emotionally disturbed guy decided to steal a truck and use it to redecorate the building lobby? Well, here's someone's cell phone video of it
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(28)
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Not news: Man stabs wife repeatedly. Florida: Immediately after their marriage counseling session
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(63)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Two and a Half Men to end after season 12. In other news, Laugh track makers are preparing to lose their biggest customer
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(82)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good news everyone, Gisele Bundchen has a shorter twin sister who is also very hot. The line starts on the left, right behind subby
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(56)
 


Wed May 14, 2014
(Newstalk KZRG)
 
 
 
Not news: Cops pull girl over for driving erratically down Route 66. News: Girl was 8 years old and grabbed wheel because mom had passed out behind the wheel
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(38)
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
Ed Sheeran "doesn't sing for girlfriend." In more surprising news, Ed Sheeran has a girlfriend
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(31)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Good news for dark beer lovers who grill: You're fighting cancer before it starts when you combine the two
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(9)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Maybe News: LSU defeats Northwestern State 27-0. FARK: In baseball, where it lasted only 6 innings and it was a no-hitter
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(11)
 


Tue May 13, 2014
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Facebook post by local news outlet leads to Brazilian woman weighing the same as a duck
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