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Headlines matching 'news'
Mon May 28, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Hero Not news: American flags displayed for Memorial Day. News: At Arlington National Cemetery. Awesome: 260,000 of them  (fortstewart.patch.com) (79)


Sun May 27, 2012
(Doubtful News) Florida Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the story about Florida students and faculty acting rashly  (skeptic.com) (0)


Sat May 26, 2012
(The Media Blog) Amusing Today's utterly OMFG newspaper front page brought to you by the Liverpool Echo  (themediablog.typepad.com) (72)
(Washington Times) Obvious RON PAUL has already won. This is bad news for anyone not named RON PAUL   (communities.washingtontimes.com) (177)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Gawker) Spiffy Not news: Bill Murray turns down fan's request for autograph. Fark: Bill Murray agrees to star in his short film instead  (gawker.com) (45)
(New Musical Express) Interesting Bridge from Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge" located in MacArthur Park. In other news, someone left a cake out in the rain  (nme.com) (58)
(Fark) Survey It's time for the Fark News Quiz. The only quiz in the world that's easier to pass if you have a few stiff drinks first  (fark.com) (38)
(Media Matters) Unlikely Roger Ailes claims Fox News employs only one conservative. So that settles that  (mediamatters.org) (107)
(Lincoln Journal Star) Followup Old news: Nebraska man convicted of driving while drunk and naked, with truck full of naked passengers. New News: Arrested for stealing 2700 gallons of jet fuel to run his farm equipment. Fark: 1400 gallons of it remain missing  (journalstar.com) (47)
(ESPN) Weird News: Tim Tebow shines at Jets practice. Fark: On punt coverage. Obvious: At quarterback, not so much  (espn.go.com) (53)
(Short List) Strange Not news: man divorces wife over her cats. Fark: she has 550 of them  (shortlist.com) (83)
(Daily Mail) Amusing I've got some good news men...well, mostly good news. The desire to send naked pics is hard wired into the human brain...especially the female brain  (dailymail.co.uk) (358)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious Globe and Mail picks FARK Mobile as one of the apps that make news reading better  (theglobeandmail.com) (0)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Not really news: Woman kicked off plane. Fark: For wearing a T-shirt that said, "If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd f--k a senator" (w/video)  (huffingtonpost.com) (335)


Thu May 24, 2012
(Some Guy) Weird This could be bad news if you have triskaidekaphobia, taphephobia, thanatophobia, placophobia or, if you are reading this headline, hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio phobia  (wkbw.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Stupid Not News: Teen suspended. News: for faking suicide. Fark: in class project video on bullying  (wiod.com) (45)
(SameSame) Cool Cate Blanchett to play lead in classic lesbian love story. In related news, bunk futures have just reached an all time high  (samesame.com.au) (27)
(Doubtful News) Cool Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the chilling story about a 10 kilo chunk of ice in China  (skeptic.com) (0)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Missing [✔] White [ ] Girl [✔] aaaaaand that's why the news is just now reporting that she disappeared in April  (sun-sentinel.com) (80)
(Some Guy) News Four-alarm fire on board nuclear submarine in dry-dock at Maine naval base. In other news, half-price special this weekend at Red Lobster  (fosters.com) (118)


Wed May 23, 2012
(Doubtful News) Cool Doubtful News thanks Fark for drawing their attention to catastrophic story about Turkey's cats  (doubtfulnews.com) (2)
(Politico) Obvious Republicans target Biden over gaffes. In other news, today is a day that ends with the letter 'y'  (politico.com) (75)
(The Atlantic) Amusing In today's big fat American news, CDC publishes "new (ab)normal" portion-size infographic, featuring bloated pedestrian icons of now instead of trim pedestrian icons of the 1950s  (theatlantic.com) (74)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Man ticketed for littering. Fark: Ticket was for dropping money on the ground. Bonus Fark: The money fell as he was handing it off to a wheelchair-bound homeless man  (fox8.com) (89)
(UPI) Obvious A lack of leadership in the United States the equivalent of a giant tsunami about to envelop and swamp or sink the nation. In other news, surf's up, dude  (upi.com) (22)
(Glossy News) Strange Glossy News notes how FARK and others picked up the never ending story about one man's fight against the internet (1st paragraph)  (glossynews.com) (1)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Fox News) Ironic Bill O'Reilly: "It doesn't serve the USA well to have powerful national news organizations skewing their coverage"  (foxnews.com) (221)
(Short List) Sick Bad news: it's National Vegetarian Week in the UK. Good news: the world's meatiest sandwich has become a thing  (shortlist.com) (95)
(Boston.com) Dumbass Not news: Grandma lets granddaughter test drive her car. Fark: 10-year old granddaughter hits three cars in a McDonald's parking lot  (boston.com) (23)
(Washington Post) Stupid It's been at least a day or two since you've read about a bullshiat trend made up by a newspaper to fill column inches, right? Pining for one? Okay, here you go: American youth don't want cars anymore, they want web mobility  (washingtonpost.com) (55)
(The New York Times) Cool Good news, everybody. It's no longer necessary for you to feel like an uneducated, heathenish boor if you want to sip some red wine after Labor Day. You can drink Guinness in your shorts, too, and can stop feeling ashamed  (nytimes.com) (80)


Mon May 21, 2012
(Daily Mail) Stupid Not News: Loner cannot get a date to the prom. News: Track coach feels sorry for him so she escorts him there. Fark: She gets canned even though no shenanigans took place  (dailymail.co.uk) (96)
(Boston.com) Cool School administrator suspends seniors for school pran.. wait, what? She congratulates them for coming up with a prank that was original and did no damage? In other news: Not all school administrators are robotic martinets  (boston.com) (70)
(CBC) Sad Not news: some people climbed Everest. News: Three died on descent because of "traffic jam". Fark: Everest has traffic jams because apparently the only mountaineering experience required is Photoshop  (cbc.ca) (162)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Tennessee man fathered nine children...while locked up in state prison. That's if you believe what you read in the news  (thesmokinggun.com) (30)
(The Courier-Journal) Ironic News: Shooting happens in a bad part of town. Unusual: Six people are shot, three of them fatally. Fark: One of those fatally shot was the boyfriend of a woman who wore a "No Boyfriend, No Problem" shirt to the crime scene  (courier-journal.com) (60)
(ABC) Obvious ABC News, which totally isn't trolling, asks: "Should Zimmerman charges be dropped?"  (abcnews.go.com) (769)
(Mercury News) Obvious Good news. If you bought Facebook stock on the first day, you've already lost money. OK, so maybe not good news for you  (mercurynews.com) (93)
(Doubtful News) Interesting Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the unbelievable story about a UFO  (skeptic.com) (0)
(Crooks & Liars) Scary The good news is that Boehner thinks that JPMorgan will be held accountable by the invisible hand  (videocafe.crooksandliars.com) (47)
(Stylist) Amusing Good news: Scarlett Johansson joins Hitchcock hall of fame. Bad news: She bucks the trend by wearing underwear on-set  (stylist.co.uk) (45)


Sun May 20, 2012
(The Tennessean) Interesting Not news: Obama and Romney locked in close race, Romney ahead by only one point. Fark: In Tennessee  (tennessean.com) (150)
(The New York Times) Wheaton "Moreover, Wheaton had posted links to some of Cline's poetry slam work on the news and discussion site Fark.com." He's nothing if not a renaissance man. (6th paragraph from the bottom)  (nytimes.com) (3)


Sat May 19, 2012
(Daily Mail) Scary Plane nearly collides with Denver street light. With helpful news graphic of flying question mark  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(WMGM TV 40) Stupid Top-notch reporting, fact-checking and proofreading in NJ news: "Van Halens own 'Sammy Hager' donates $10,000 to Atlantic City Parrish"  (nbc40.net) (20)
(Doubtful News) Strange Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for a devil of a story about a Florida evangelist  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Doubtful News) Interesting Doubtful News thanks FARK for airing the interesting story about Donna Summer and lung cancer  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)


Fri May 18, 2012
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work  (fark.com) (34)
(Crain's) Dumbass Not news: Chicago Cubs owner seeking $100 million in tax breaks. Fark: Apparently so he can spend more of his own money on a PAC attacking Obama. Dumbass: Apparently he's also forgotten what Chicago's mayor's previous job was  (chicagobusiness.com) (55)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida TV news anchor accused of stealing his neighbor's patio chairs, carpet, and scotch  (sun-sentinel.com) (20)
(PennLive) Stupid You know it's a slow news day if you read about a school board deciding that a children's book is borderline porn, with art from the book for you to decide if it is  (pennlive.com) (126)
(Deadspin) Video Adventures in local news reporting: "Fark you, I hope you get AIDS" with a bonus drunk, shirtless man falling out of a window behind a reporter  (deadspin.com) (22)
(ESPN) Fail Not News: The Yankees and Red Sox are fighting for a spot in the AL East Standings. News: Last place  (espn.go.com) (95)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Telegraph) Amusing British MP is butt of jokes after seating accident with colleague. In related news: The British are easily entertained  (telegraph.co.uk) (15)
(TSN) Cool Coyote fans think there's got to be good news left after watching the US fall to Finland with 8.8 seconds left in the IIHF World Championships. They're wrong, they still have to play the Kings tonight @ 8:30 EDT  (tsn.ca) (569)
(Fox News) Asinine News: Tebow sues t-shirt vendor for using his name. Fark: T-shirt doesn't refer to Tebow, it refers to Jesus  (foxnews.com) (53)
(WTOP) Hero Not news: Bartender walks female patron home. News: Thief tries to steal her purse. Fark: Bartender fights him off, gets stabbed eight times. Totalfark: He has no health insurance; the bar is hosting a fundraiser to pay his bills. Can we help?  (wtop.com) (132)


Wed May 16, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Just when you thought all the polling data was swinging Romney's way, here's a poll that favors Obama. A Fox News poll  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (121)
(Slate) Interesting Not news: Most Americans opposed to massive government spending. Fark: On the Apollo space program  (slate.com) (42)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Aaron Sorkin to write film about Steve Jobs. In other news, Apple to trademark the walk and talk  (hollywoodreporter.com) (11)
(WRCB-TV) Interesting Four Alabama men fined for stealing cultural artifacts. In other news, proof now exists that at some time in the remote past, there was actually some culture in Alabama  (wrcbtv.com) (40)


Tue May 15, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Need to fill up broadcast time on your local news station? Put a newschick inside a wind tunnel, crank it up, and call it a report on tornadoes. With video  (wnem.com) (66)
(ABC) Obvious "Obama's gay marriage stance could hurt him" say news outlets that have exhausted their quota for the words "may" and "might"  (abcnews.go.com) (70)
(Rachel Held Evans.com) Interesting News: when asked for one word to primarily describe Christianity, 91% of young non-Christians answer "antihomosexual." Fark: so do 80% of Christians  (rachelheldevans.com) (457)
(Fox News) Asinine Henry Kissinger subjected to "the full Monty" of groping while at TSA checkpoint at LaGuardia airport. In other news, Henry Kissinger still alive  (foxnews.com) (77)
(Gizmodo) Hero Newspaper editor rips off local blogger post and reprints it verbatim. Blogger takes camera to newspaper and confronts the editor and gets $500 for violating his copyright  (gizmodo.com) (90)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Salon) Followup Newsweek: Obama is our first gay president. Salon: Not so fast there  (salon.com) (198)
(Gamma Squad) Amusing Thor delivers uncomfortable news to a radio listener who won't get his Asgard off the couch  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (43)
(Examiner) Stupid Not News: An illegal alien with $14K in income paid no taxes. News: He received a refund of $10K from the IRS. Fark: Nearly three quarters of tax returns filed by illegal aliens received such tax credits. Taxpayer Cost: $Billions  (examiner.com) (281)
(NJ.com) Obvious Survivor concludes with only hot women in the finals. In other news, Mark Burnett continues to troll America for 24 seasons  (nj.com) (74)
(Short List) Dumbass Bad news: you've forgotten to log out of Facebook at an internet café. The worst news: you've also just robbed the place  (shortlist.com) (17)


Sun May 13, 2012
(Des Moines Register) PSA Bad news for those of you who have invested all your money in corn  (desmoinesregister.com) (52)
(Entertainment Weekly) Followup Bad news - "Community" moves to the Friday Night Death Slot. Worse news - its lead-in will be "Whitney." This is the darkest timeline  (insidetv.ew.com) (115)
(ABC) Strange Newsweek declares Obama the first gay President, which makes sense considering that Bill Clinton was the first black President  (abcnews.go.com) (166)
(Daily Mail) Fail I have some bad news... for Obama  (dailymail.co.uk) (355)
(Doubtful News) Strange Doubtful News thanks Fark for the story about a very lucky lottery winner (bonus - FARK comments quoted in the story)  (skeptic.com) (1)
(Doubtful News) Strange Doubtful News/The Skeptic give thanks to FARK for a story that just won't die - - - the man who woke up at his own funeral  (skeptic.com) (0)


Sat May 12, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Followup After learning NBC renewed Whitney, CBS renews Two and a Half Men out of spite  (insidetv.ew.com) (46)
(CNSNews) Cool In other news, a recent study shows that Colorado, Utah and Wyoming have more recoverable oil than the rest of the entire world. So we have that going for us, then  (cnsnews.com) (170)
(MSNBC) Interesting If you don't want to wait until 2245 for the first USS Enterprise to be built BTE Dan has some good news for you  (msnbc.msn.com) (82)
(Telegraph) Hero News: Man saves daughter from traffic accident. Ultra News: Jumps from moving car to save her. Fark News: Goes back for her shoes (w/video)  (telegraph.co.uk) (50)
(MLive.com) Unlikely News: Player with at least 4 RBIs in 4 of 5 games, first since Lou Gehrig in 1931. Fark: Brandon Inge  (mlive.com) (27)
(CBC) Scary Not news: woman has collision with møøse. News: continues to drive to work. Fark: pics  (cbc.ca) (37)


Fri May 11, 2012
(Onion AV Club) Cool ABC renews Happy Endings. Suck a million  (avclub.com) (65)
(Gizmodo) Asinine Not news: Elderly couple dies in car crash. News: Couldn't call for help due to bad AT&T coverage. FARK: after NINE dropped calls  (gizmodo.com) (182)
(Some Guy) Asinine Greene County, Va., Republicans distribute newsletter decrying a living wage, the biblically hostile president, and calling for armed insurrection. Oh, and they also have a killer "conservative potato and egg delight" recipe  (volokh.com) (90)
(Fark) Survey That's right, it's Friday. So take off your shoes, put your feet on your desk, and try your hand at this week's Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Fail News: Conspiracy theorist fears cops are following her. Truth: They are. Fark: because they put a GPS tracker on her car and are trying to secretly get it back  (coloradoan.com) (79)
(Mother Jones) Interesting This week in dark money: George Soros cuts some big checks, a super-PAC showdown in the Hoosier state, plus other news from the cold murky world of dark campaign cash  (motherjones.com) (28)
(WFAA) Interesting Investors pay $850,000 for Batman #1, wonder why it says "The New 52"  (wfaa.com) (37)
(Some Guy) Dumbass News: Two men get their iPhones stolen. FARK: By prostitutes. TotalFark: The men fire a shot through the motel room door. Stockton: Prostitutes return fire, injuring one  (fox40.com) (27)


Thu May 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks Fark for the story about a 'Magic Skull and some slippery fingers'  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)


Wed May 09, 2012
(KMOV St. Louis) Stupid Those F-16 parts you're buying on Craigslist? The seller may be a no-show. Bonus: News video of the story shows an F-15  (kmov.com) (15)
(My Fox DC) Cool Do you like Asian girls? How about bras that resemble small fish tanks? Well then, I have some great news for you my friend (w/ pics)  (myfoxdc.com) (98)


Tue May 08, 2012
(Spinner) PSA In news that would have been welcomed in 1997, Gwen Stefani announces the new No Doubt album will be released this September  (spinner.com) (47)
(News Hounds) Asinine Fox News: "Women make less than men by choice." Preposterous. Everyone knows that women make more sandwiches than men  (newshounds.us) (104)
(CBS DC) Interesting Not news: Woman wearing a burka kicked out of Romney campaign event. Farking news: It was actually an Obama event  (washington.cbslocal.com) (180)
(Some Guy) Interesting Not news: man has patent application for Facebook rejected. News: in 1845. Fark: Abe Lincoln  (natestpierre.me) (105)
(Gizmodo) Hero Not news: Hottie finishes London Marathon, News: She's paralyzed, Fark: She does it in a bionic suit  (gizmodo.com) (103)
(Pharyngula) Followup Yesterday's news: Dinosaurs killed off by their own farts. Fark: The paper did not say that. Über-Obvious: One would think that no one would be dumb enough to get their science news from Fox News  (freethoughtblogs.com) (180)
(WANE) Sick Not News: man gets DUI. News: with four children. Fark: strapped to the hood of a car  (wane.com) (45)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Ars Technica) Interesting How sanctions and violence doomed Syria's gaming industry. In related news, Syria had a gaming industry  (arstechnica.com) (9)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting ABC, Univision to create Hispanic news channel. Prime-time dream-team lineup would include 1970's Charo, that guy from the Dos Equis commercials, Bumblebee Guy from the Simpson's and Glenn Beck  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (153)
(The New York Times) Strange "60 Minutes" becomes hipster newsmagazine of choice, thanks to newshotties Lara Logan and Anderson Cooper replacing geriatric correspondents  (nytimes.com) (60)


Sun May 06, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad Al-Qaeda extremists destroy the grave of a Muslim saint in Timbuktu. In other news, Timbuktu is an actual place, Muslims apparently have saints, and Al-Qaeda really sucks at the whole "winning hearts and minds" thing  (news.yahoo.com) (100)
(Arizona Star) Dumbass Tucson news station brags about their new Skynet surveillance system going online; anticipate it will become self-aware on August 29th, find Sarah Connor shortly thereafter  (azstarnet.com) (49)
(Daily Express) Interesting Not news: Heart surgeons discover new information on the structure of the mitral valve. News: After reading an essay written by Leonardo da Vinci 500 years ago  (express.co.uk) (22)


Sat May 05, 2012
(LA Times) Dumbass In other news, the guy that makes up the bandit names has the weekend off  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (59)
(The Atlantic Wire) Fail Iran's semi-official Mehrs news agency ends up using a photoshopped image for Iran's missile system. Fark: They used *that* image. Yes, that one  (theatlanticwire.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Interesting No longer news: cloned baby goat is a super-adorable terrifying monster of science. News: was cloned using $37 worth of ordinary lab hardware  (grist.org) (20)
(CNBC) Obvious Good news: Oil prices are dropping Bad news: Oil prices are dropping  (cnbc.com) (58)
(Think Progress) Cool The economy has recovered all private sector jobs lost since Obama took office. This bad news....for Obama  (thinkprogress.org) (147)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, get out a sharpened pencil, and get off your hot teacher for a moment--it's time for this week's Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (24)
(LA Times) Interesting Not news: 727 crashes in Mexico. News: Discovery Channel did it. Difficulty: Not Mythbusters   (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Interesting Bizarre spring weather hurts wineries in Iowa. In other news, there are wineries in Iowa  (kgan.com) (29)
(SacBee) Hero Not news: girl saves friend using Heimlich Maneuver. Fark: she learned it on TV. Ultra Fark: she's six years old  (sacbee.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Good news: U.S. victory over Iran would only take three weeks, so no big deal  (rt.com) (383)


Thu May 03, 2012
(WLFI) Sad Not news - Young boy dies. Fark - Was made an honorary Marine. Ultrafark - Marine Honor Guard stands watch outside his hospital room the night he passes  (wlfi.com) (176)
(Big 1059) Followup Tanning mom lashes out: "You're jealous, fat, and ugly." In related news, tanning mom got a mirror  (big1059.com) (131)
(Newser) Followup "If the idea of cows creepily frozen inside a mountain cabin sounds like the stuff of horror movies, bad news: The tale's ending is no less macabre"  (newser.com) (59)
(Ars Technica) Cool Come for some geek knowledge, stay for the newspaper quotes from a time when journalists knew how to write  (arstechnica.com) (7)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Connecticut becomes the 49th state to allow the sale of alcohol on Sundays. In other news the State of Minnesota is struggling to figure how to finance a stadium for the Minnesota Vikings  (huffingtonpost.com) (54)
(WTOV9) Amusing Not News: City puts up Rough Road sign. News: Someone paints "No sh*t Sherlock" on the sign. Fark: Residents respond they find it funny  (wtov9.com) (21)
(The Atlantic) Fail Obama's composite girlfriend: How Politico and Drudge created fake news  (theatlantic.com) (125)
(Mercury News) Amusing Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK'S clever Chicago Cubs headline as their hit of the week  (mercurynews.com) (0)
(ESPN) Cool News: Jered Weaver throws first career no-hitter. Not News: Against the Twins  (scores.espn.go.com) (55)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Yahoo) Scary Not News: Man goes to pick up his daughter from day care. News: The place is locked up tight. Fark: He has to break in to get inside because the three-year-old was left alone  (news.yahoo.com) (137)
(CSMonitor) Obvious Newt Gingrich suspends his campaign. In other news, Newt Gingrich was still running for president  (csmonitor.com) (59)
(Boston.com) Strange The bad news is that you've been caught after killing your mother and grandmother. The good news is that your mug shot will make every top 50 list for the next 10 years  (boston.com) (74)
(Some Guy) Stupid News: Group held hostage in restaurant. Fark: for refusing to pay gratuity  (click2houston.com) (380)
(Quad City Times) Followup Good news: City Comptroller did not steal $30 million from the city over the course of ten years. Bad news: City Comptroller stole $53 million from the city over the course of twenty years  (qctimes.com) (127)
(WPTV) Florida Not News: An analysis of Florida crashes reveals old people are bad drivers. Fark: And are incapable of turning left  (wptv.com) (102)
(PennLive) Sick News: Man charged with burglary after breaking in to barn. Sick tag: He was performing oral sex on a horse  (pennlive.com) (177)
(ABC) Cool Orioles manager Buck Showalter celebrates 1,000th MLB win. In future news, the Baltimore Orioles will win the 2013 World Series  (abcnews.go.com) (24)


Tue May 01, 2012
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Scary Slow news day: 50-pound turtle OK after getting hit by car  (ajc.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for the story about a father who tried to sacrifice his 8-year-old son at the cemetery  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(Gore Vidal Now) Interesting Gore Vidal, Mike Wallace and the 1967 CBS News report, 'The Homosexuals'  (gorevidalnow.com) (110)
(Talking Points Memo) Spiffy The latest side effect to Obamacare: it's saving senior citizens billions on Medication. Romney expected to try and claim this latest news as his own shortly  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (144)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Not news: Geek who never missed a day of school since kindergarten is graduating soon, valedictorian, and wants to study engineering. Fark: She's also captain of the cheerleading team, and yes, there's a photo  (westhawaiitoday.com) (240)


Mon April 30, 2012
(Myrtle Beach Online) Amusing News: Woman assaults boyfriend with a hammer. Fark: Did we mention it was an inflatable hammer?  (myrtlebeachonline.com) (112)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Mel Gibson admits he has "A little bit of a temper." In other news, Amy Winehouse liked an occasional drink  (nydailynews.com) (62)
(The New York Times) Interesting European stocks drift lower on news of Spanish recession [JARRING CHORD]  (nytimes.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Weird Not News: UFO Guru predicts a UFO will appear on Sunday over an LA park. News: Enough people show up to make it a story. Fark: It actually happens  (news.gather.com) (64)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Not news: Clippers go down 27. News: To Memphis. Fark: Both teams actually made the playoffs. HOLY MOTHER OF FARK: Clippers come back to win  (sports.yahoo.com) (120)
(NBC San Diego) Strange Not news: Father brings son to cemetery. Fark: To sacrifice him  (nbcsandiego.com) (65)


Sun April 29, 2012
(Some Guy) Stupid News: Frustration with government leads to secession talk. Fark: The Upper Peninsula seceding from Michigan  (miningjournal.net) (146)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy Good news: Eight mayors band together to publicly compare the ban on marijuana in the United States to Prohibition. Bad news: They're not mayors in the United States  (blog.seattlepi.com) (116)
(Doubtful News) Unlikely Doubtful News thanks FARK for the unusual story about coincidental lottery winners  (skeptic.com) (0)


Sat April 28, 2012
(Starpulse) Hero Zoe Saldana reveals that her favorite sex position is "being on my knees". In related news, Subby now entering one-handed GIS mode  (starpulse.com) (98)
(SlashFilm) Stupid Sam Raimi is remaking Poltergeist. This news will make you want to go into the light  (slashfilm.com) (73)
(CNN) Amusing Bob Jones University kicks out student for watching Glee. In other news, enrollment of Farkers at BJU explodes  (ireport.cnn.com) (87)


Fri April 27, 2012
(WPTV) Amusing Not News: Guy celebrates with his friends and Tweets out his huge accomplishment. News: ...after getting a call that he's being drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals as a first round pick. Fark: It was a prank call  (wptv.com) (51)
(Fark) Survey Check calendar. Note that it's Friday. Clear desk. Take Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (45)
(CNN) Interesting Not news: Government deporting illegals. News: The government is Pakistan and the illegals are Osama bin Laden's three widows and his two teenage daughters  (cnn.com) (82)
(CNN) Unlikely Oil companies claim 150,000 new jobs created in 2011. In related news, 150,000 people hired last year to clean oil spill along the Gulf Coast  (money.cnn.com) (18)
(MTV) Strange Team behind Tupac hologram consider a Bieber/Elvis duo. In other news, entire state of Tennessee being powered by spinning grave  (mtv.com) (52)
(Onion AV Club) Followup Fox renews Fringe for a fifth and final season to wrap up its storylines. How wonderful  (avclub.com) (112)


Thu April 26, 2012
(Wired) Interesting A computer will win a Pulitzer Prize within 5 years asserts the man who invented the news-story-writing algorithm that will destroy what remains of journalism  (wired.com) (32)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Sandra Fluke: "I'm engaged." Fox News Bimbo: "To a man?"  (huffingtonpost.com) (462)
(Nola.com) Stupid Not News: Man runs over mailbox. News: Of 10 different neighbors, on multiple occasions. Fark: "I didn't know it was illegal"  (nola.com) (55)
(Instapundit) Followup U of Florida backs off on plans to ditch computer science department on news that they're the only school where nerds and hot cheerleaders exist on the same campus  (pjmedia.com) (62)
(Media Matters) Stupid Use of the phrase "Job Killing Regulations" in newspapers increased 17,550% from 2007 to 2011. Doubleplusgood  (mediamatters.org) (303)
(crains detroit) Stupid Detroit fire department to close budget gap by letting vacant buildings burn to the ground. This is bad news for Lions fans  (crainsdetroit.com) (22)


Wed April 25, 2012
(Daily Mail) Interesting Not news: Americans solicit prostitute while traveling abroad. News: They're government officials and broke her collar bone after refusing to pay the agreed price. Fark: This isn't part of the Secret Service fiasco  (dailymail.co.uk) (107)
(Huffington Post) Amusing News: British boyband involved in chlamydia scare. Fark: Koala chlamydia  (huffingtonpost.com) (33)
(Huffington Post) Silly Fox & Friends wonder why President Obama didn't "soft rock" the news instead  (huffingtonpost.com) (234)
(Some Guy?) Interesting News: Man fights with medical insurance over the bill for his hysterectomy. Fark: A Canadian man...wait, what?  (thechronicleherald.ca) (115)
(ESPN) Spiffy Finally some good news for Mets fans: Not only does Jason Bay's injury spare them from having to watch him flail at the plate every day, it may also prevent his $17 million option from vesting next year  (espn.go.com) (15)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Deadline) Followup Bill O'Reilly signs new deal with Fox News. Can't explain that  (deadline.com) (45)
(Contact Music) Interesting Unreleased track featuring Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes will be made available to mark the 10-year anniversary of her death. In related news, Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes died 10 years ago  (contactmusic.com) (53)
(Mother Nature Network) Stupid Good news: The mancession has morphed into a hecovery  (mnn.com) (17)
(Yahoo) Cool News: Pitcher pitches perfect game. FARK: Strikes out every batter. UltraFARK: Pitcher is a high schooler. MondoFARK: A female high school softball pitcher  (sports.yahoo.com) (82)
(Deadspin) Scary Tonight's newscast at WNEP in Scranton was interrupted by.. BEARS (video)  (deadspin.com) (40)
(WIVB) Sappy Not News: Man finds a ball on an Alaskan beach. News: With the name of Japanese boy on it. Fark: His wife is Japanese. Ultrafark: They contact the boy who lost everything in the tsunami, and arrange to have the ball sent back. Holyfark: Twice  (wivb.com) (66)
(Marketwatch) Fail Netflix plunges on news the same 25 movies in rotation get a little old after a few months  (marketwatch.com) (107)


Mon April 23, 2012
(Mother Jones) Interesting Meet some of the country's biggest media companies, which own dozens of newspapers and TV news operations that are lobbying against transparency  (motherjones.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful news credits Fark for the story about a woman can supposedly speak to horses  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(Dayton Daily News) Interesting Obama gaining ground in 14 recently polled swing states whose economy seems to be improving faster than the country as a whole. This is bad news... for Obama  (daytondailynews.com) (49)
(CNN) Obvious Economists predict continued sluggish economy. In related news, the South Pole is going to be cold for awhile longer  (money.cnn.com) (25)
(Gizmodo) Cool Old news: people turning EVE Online into an occupation. New news: people turning EVE Online into an occupation  (gizmodo.com) (43)
(Doubtful News) Cool Doubtful News thanks FARK for the tip about a telepathic horse whisperer  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(WPTV) Florida Not News: Guy arrested at McDonald's. News: He was charged with a felony and faces five years in prison. Fark: He was arrested because he asked for a cup of water, but put soda in it instead  (wptv.com) (264)
(The Local - France) Strange Not News: Girl sent home from school for wearing "provocative" clothing. Fark: Her skirt was too long  (thelocal.fr) (84)


Sun April 22, 2012
(Slate) PSA NEWSFLASH: Breaking news on television is now nothing more than a joke  (slate.com) (84)
(Pressherald.com) Obvious Good news: New technology lets anyone become a storm chaser. Bed news: ANYONE can become a storm chaser. "There were morons out there. There were plenty"  (pressherald.com) (114)


Sat April 21, 2012
(WorldNetDaily) Hero Great news, everybody. Pat Boone has solved our energy problems by inventing controlled fusion  (wnd.com) (173)
(Popular Archaeology) Interesting Scholars, librarians and citizens hiding priceless ancient manuscripts and artifacts from Tuareg rebels in Timbuktu. In other news, Timbuktu is a real place  (popular-archaeology.com) (33)
(ABC) Sad The good news is the "Twilight" generation may finally find out who Joni Mitchell was. The bad news is they'll think she sounded like Taylor Swift  (abcnews.go.com) (78)
(Some Guy) Interesting Not News: UFO video over France is enhanced. Still don't know what the Fark it is. News: France is starting to look like Milwaukee  (news.gather.com) (121)
(Doubtful News) Obvious Doubtful News makes no bones about thanking FARK for the story about a fake skeleton  (skeptic.com) (0)
(MSNBC) Interesting Mishandled bags at airports now down to 20.3%. In related news, at $50 a bag, 20.3% fewer pieces of luggage checked this year  (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com) (46)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Spiffy Disney stock rises on news that the idiot who's been releasing big-budget bombs about Mars has finally left. Can we please put someone from Pixar in charge, already?  (suntimes.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Interesting Great news for all you fat alcoholics out there  (gizmag.com) (44)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Online-only news sites struggle to cover operating costs, founder's bar bills  (journalism.co.uk) (9)
(Thomson Reuters) Interesting Thomson Reuters News and Insight column picks Drew's TED talk as their summary judgement feature of April 20   (newsandinsight.thomsonreuters.com) (0)
(Fark) Survey Put down your bong for a minute, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz, the only test in the world that you'll probably do a little better at if you're baked  (fark.com) (58)
(Showbiz Spy) Sad In the most heartbreaking entertainment news you'll hear all day, John Cusack drops out of James Cameron's "Aquaman"  (showbizspy.com) (122)
(WorldNetDaily) PSA Good news, everyone: according to the Bible the Anti-Christ won't rule over America because America didn't exist in biblical times. Or something  (wnd.com) (207)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida A person opening the hotel door to the cops with "Hi, policeman" and testing positive for cocaine after being taken into custody normally isn't news. Unless he's four years old  (jacksonville.com) (24)
(Deadspin) Fail Not news: Another fan runs out on the field during MLB game. News: He's caught and gets ejected from the stadium by security. FARK: He's four years old  (deadspin.com) (22)
(New Zealand Herald) Stupid Not news: 30 year old mother of 8 overdoses on coke. News: 30 year old mother of 8 overdoses on Coke  (nzherald.co.nz) (128)


Thu April 19, 2012
(The Week) Dumbass Five things that could be bad news... for Obama  (theweek.com) (158)
(AZCentral) Sad Not news: small plane goes down over the gulf. Scary news: take a look at his flightpath  (azcentral.com) (191)
(Denver Channel) Sad Hello, homeowner? Good news We finished a half hour early, the laundry is done, the kitchen is clean, your dead dog is under the dining room table and we need more Lemon Pledge. What was that? I said we need more Lemon Pledge  (thedenverchannel.com) (94)
(WebProNews) Cool WebProNews picks up the story of Drew's TED talk with a featured full page article  (webpronews.com) (1)
(Doubtful News) Weird Doubtful News strangely thanks FARK for the story of woman possessed  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Mirror.co.uk) Asinine News source claims Madonna must be the only person on the planet who hasn't heard of boy band One Direction. Wait, who?  (mirror.co.uk) (30)
(USA Today) Asinine FDA proposes corn syrup to be called corn sugar. In similar news saturated fat to be renamed artery thickener  (usatoday.com) (199)
(YouTube) Hero Democratic strategist to Tea Partier live on Fox News "You don't know what the F**K you are talking about"  (youtube.com) (260)


Wed April 18, 2012
(The Raw Story) Spiffy Brain scans indicate if women will have sex, which is great news for guys who bring brain scanners to bars  (rawstory.com) (31)
(ESPN) Spiffy Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen: College athletes are smoking weed  (espn.go.com) (117)
(Big 1059) Stupid Baptists want to abolish lottery: "If you pay $5 for a lottery ticket and it says 'you won, one dollar', you've actually lost four dollars." In related news, if water turns to wine, you're actually losing water  (big1059.com) (182)
(Some Guy) Hero Not news: Son pays off father's $10,000 medical bill. News: He's six. Fark: The money was proceeds from his lemonade stand  (mega949.com) (123)
(BBC) Sad Good news: scientists discover that drinking heavily before an exam will improve your grades. Bad news: it only applies to water  (bbc.co.uk) (25)


Tue April 17, 2012
(Think Progress) Stupid Fox News guest attacks Hillary Clinton saying her behavior was as if she's auditioning for Jersey Shore and that no senior public official should ever be seen with a drink or dancing  (thinkprogress.org) (215)
(Deadline) Sad Today's news item to ruin your day: Vince Vaughn to play Jim Rockford in "Rockford Files" Reboot  (deadline.com) (132)
(Forbes) Scary Microsoft to release Halo 4 on election day. This is bad news... for Obama  (forbes.com) (289)
(Discover) Cool NASA telescope spots rainbow tornado in space. In unrelated news, Republicans defund NASA  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (36)


Mon April 16, 2012
(business insider) Interesting After 30 years, Harrison Ford to sell his Brentwood mansion Promptly breaks the bad news to friends, neighbors, long time gardener and handyman, Mark Hamill  (businessinsider.com) (91)
(Some Guy) Interesting By reading into this news you can deduce that Mandarin is the villain for Iron Man 3  (kptv.com) (70)
(Some Carwash) Cool Not news: Times are tough and budgets are tight. News: Group planning car wash and bake sale to raise money. Fark: For the NASA planetary exploration budget  (boulder.swri.edu) (12)


Sun April 15, 2012
(ESPN) Sad Bad news, Sacramento Kings fans: "dealing with the Maloofs is like dealing with the North Koreans -- except they are less competent"  (espn.go.com) (59)
(Some Weaver) Asinine Not News: DUI Checkpoint. Holy FARK: The use of specialized flashlights with ethanol sensors to detect the presence of alcohol on a driver's breath  (centredaily.com) (738)
(Yahoo) Sad Giants fans, we've got some good news and bad. Good news: Brian Wilson's beard is in excellent shape. Bad news: We can't say the same for his elbow  (sports.yahoo.com) (36)
(Mediaite) Fail Fox News' Roger Ailes says Soledad O'Brien was named after a prison; O'Brien: 'Um, I was named after the Virgin Mary'  (mediaite.com) (153)


Sat April 14, 2012
(Washington Post) Followup Virginia Speaker apologizes for belittling woman who was asking tough questions. Seriously, he apologized. It is a shame that a sincere apology is news  (washingtonpost.com) (112)


Fri April 13, 2012
(Slate) Amusing ABC News makes an adorkable mistake while reporting on Zooey Deschanel's divorce  (slate.com) (109)
(Fark) Survey It's Friday the 13th, so here is a Fark Weird News Quiz ending in 13. COINCIDENCE?? Actually, yes  (fark.com) (44)
(The Sun) Spiffy Not news: Mensa accepts girl with an IQ of 159. News: she's four years old  (thesun.co.uk) (119)
(Yahoo) Cool Scientists discover plastic-eating mushrooms. This is bad news, for Joan Rivers  (news.yahoo.com) (40)
(Yahoo) News Breaking news: Zimmerman buys $79.84 worth of items from jail store  (news.yahoo.com) (lots)
(Some Guy) Amusing News: Man attempts to rob multiple banks. Fark: Doesn't succeed at robbing any of them. Ultra Fark: Because he was using a toilet plunger  (wktv.com) (52)


Thu April 12, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid Ann Romney tells Fox News that she "knows what it's like to struggle", adding "sometimes I can't decide which Cadillac to take to the gourmet grocer, or which fois gras to buy -- it's sheer agony"   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (540)
(MSNBC) Interesting US Customs begins waging war on drugs in the classified advertisements of Mexican newspapers. Horrified editors look on as Marmaduke is recruited by Los Zetas and savagely mauls Dolly, Jeffy, and PJ  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (49)
(io9) Strange Indian politicians offer $2,000--nearly half a year's wages--as bounty for any slain vampires people bring in. In other news, a whole lot of people are about to be murdered in India  (io9.com) (108)
(The Daily Dolt) Strange Good news: economy is improving so you can find a job and stop farking around all day. Bad news: Grandma's gonna die. Draw?  (thedailydolt.com) (38)
(CBS News) Ironic News: Politician declares Fox news biased and in the tank for the Republican establishment and Mitt Romney. Fark: That politician is Newt Gingrich  (cbsnews.com) (73)
(ABC) Followup As it turns out, Fox DID know who the mole was, and has already fired him for leaking damaging secrets about the state of the Fox News bathrooms  (abcnews.go.com) (79)


Wed April 11, 2012
(YouTube) Interesting Not News: Average guy goes to the mall. News: Pretends to be a nonexistent celebrity. Fark.com: It works  (youtube.com) (67)
(The Atlantic Wire) Sad Fox News knows the identity of the Fox Mole  (theatlanticwire.com) (137)
(MLive.com) Scary In terrible news for the rest of the American League, after signing Prince Fielder under the assumption that they'd lost Victor Martinez for the season, doctors now saying Martinez could return as early as August  (mlive.com) (77)


Tue April 10, 2012
(CBS News) Followup CBS News mentions FARK as one of the sites which made a little known restaurant reviewer famous. (2nd paragraph)  (cbsnews.com) (0)
(HitFix) Obvious HBO renews Game of Thrones for Season 3. Hodor reacted to the news by saying "Hodor"  (hitfix.com) (319)
(USA Today) Obvious Fran Tarkenton tries to remain relevant and in the news  (content.usatoday.com) (54)
(Deadspin) Fail News media gives viewers 20 variations on a theme of Oosthuizen (w/video)  (deadspin.com) (9)
(BBC) Cool Good news for Charm City farkers; beer is being brewed in Baltimore again. I mean, you're still stuck living in Baltimore, but at least you can get freshly brewed beer  (bbc.com) (20)


Mon April 09, 2012
(Washington Post) Spiffy Iran's navy rescues Chinese crew from pirates. In other news, Iran has a navy  (washingtonpost.com) (80)


Sun April 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: resident discovers a peeping tom and calls police. News: officers arrive and apprehend suspect. Fark: peeping tom is a deer  (news-sentinel.com) (19)
(Fox News) PSA How to hit a nude beach. Tips include "don't gawk", "don't bring a camera", "always bring a towel", and "always wear your sunscreen - carefully". SFW (come on, it's Fox News)  (foxnews.com) (87)
(Des Moines Register) Sad Catholic priest dying of pancreatic cancer discovers the news during Lent, refuses to tell his parishioners and ruin Holy Week for them. But he has some words for everyone in what would be his last sermon  (desmoinesregister.com) (298)


Sat April 07, 2012
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for unearthing the story about an ancient burial site  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Tulsa World) Followup Meth head fuel tanker driver who led cops on 20 mile long, high speed chase, gets sentenced to doing 55. In other news: Apparently you can get a job driving a fuel tanker with 5 previous felony convictions. w/ meth head mugshot goodness  (tulsaworld.com) (36)
(MSNBC) Amusing Pillow fight broken up in Shanghai, China on International Pillow Fight Day. In other news, today is International Pillow Fight Day  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (33)
(Yahoo) Strange Newspaper sends 70 reporters to cover Angels' season opener. They must be doing one hell of a special section  (sports.yahoo.com) (5)


Fri April 06, 2012
(Fark) Survey After a Vegas bender last week, the Fark Weird News Quiz is back. Still not sober or respectable, though  (fark.com) (32)
(The New York Times) Interesting For almost being bankrupt and teetering on the edge of irrelevance, the RNC has raised more than $110 million over the past 15 months, almost retiring half its debt. This is bad news... for Romney  (nytimes.com) (82)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Marine who bashed President Obama given less than honorable discharge, job at Fox News  (chicagotribune.com) (110)
(WorldNetDaily) Ironic World Net Daily is too goofy and unreliable for Fox News  (wnd.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Amusing Apparently pigs feel the same way most people do about politician's news conferences  (politicalwire.com) (14)
(Some Guy) Sad Not news: Profits of well-known phone manufacturer with three-letter name continue to nosedive. Fark: For once, it's not RIM  (electronista.com) (32)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Some Pedestrian) Fail Not news: 14-year-old has driving lesson in parking lot. News: at 8:30 PM, with her family, including the baby, in the vehicle. FARK: she hits another vehicle, air bag deploys, she keeps driving. Then it gets weird  (ksla.com) (44)
(Guardian) Fail UK's Sky News says it let journalists hack email accounts because "it was in the public interest"  (guardian.co.uk) (33)
(NewsBusters) Dumbass Newsweek writer wants to impeach the Supreme Court for doing its job as decided in Marbury V Madison. Also wants the wizard to grant him a brain  (newsbusters.org) (111)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Coffee shop owner advertises he is hiring for barista job. News: Female applicants only. FARK: He tried to interview them while he was nude  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (55)
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Proof that even a major metropolitan newspaper can troll: Cubs' "Opening day for optimism and overcoming obstacles"  (chicagotribune.com) (8)
(Onion AV Club) Spiffy In news that would have welcomed in 1993, The Cult announce a massive North American tour  (avclub.com) (107)


Wed April 04, 2012
(YouTube) Amusing In honor of the recent announcement about a sequel to "Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy," a local NBC affiliate actually assembles a news team  (youtube.com) (33)
(Media Matters) Followup Fox News anchor who tweeted claim that Obama threatened Chelsea Clinton's life over Hillary's birth certificate investigation is sorry and assures us that she respects the legitimacy of "President" Bongfart Insane O'Taxus  (mediamatters.org) (174)
(Yahoo) Asinine The players of the Fantasy Supreme Court League are split on which way the justices will rule on Obamacare. In other news, there are people with nothing better to do with their time than play in a Fantasy Supreme Court League  (news.yahoo.com) (114)
(Telegraph) Fail Not News: Man breaks into game preserve. News: Cannot get cash so he saws off a Rhino horn. FARK: It was a fiberglass Rhino head  (telegraph.co.uk) (43)
(Fox News) Ironic Fox News is appalled, shocked, sickened and disgusted that NBC would edit material  (foxnews.com) (145)
(BBC) Fail Not news: tram de-rails. Holy farking fail: It was the first tram out of the depot after a £100m upgrade  (bbc.co.uk) (26)


Tue April 03, 2012
(Media Matters) Asinine Fox News anchor will have to take Obama at his word that he didn't threaten Chelsea Clinton's life so Hilary would keep quiet about the fact that he was born in Kenya and faked his birth certificate  (mediamatters.org) (334)
(Fox News) Weird Not News: The modern world is out of ideas. News: Movie-style poster appears on internet announcing sequel. FARK: It's from Al-Qaeda  (foxnews.com) (46)
(io9) Interesting A bit of history: the newsreel that ran right after the Titanic sank  (io9.com) (36)


Mon April 02, 2012
(WZZM-13) Strange Not news: Student requests use of helper animal on campus. News: University denies her request. Fark: Helper animal is Bianca the guinea pig  (wzzm13.com) (58)
(WRCB-TV) Interesting That damned liberal media trumps up yet another story about a top campaign donor being accused of fraud and...wait, it was one of Obama's donors? And it still made national news? This makes no sense  (wrcbtv.com) (154)
(Slate) Unlikely Can a presidential campaign make news if no one's there to cover it? Let's ask Newt Gingrich...um, hold on, does anyone know where he is?  (slate.com) (41)
(ABC) Interesting Not news: airlines' treatment of passengers slow. Fark: ...ly Improves  (abcnews.go.com) (29)
(Telegraph) Cool Not News: Artist recreates Sgt Pepper's cover for 2012. Cool: The artist who did the original cover  (telegraph.co.uk) (30)
(Think Progress) Cool "Hey, sorority girl - when you ask me why America is the greatest country in the world, I don't know what the f*ck you're talking about." It's the trailer for Newsroom, the new HBO show by Aaron Sorkin  (thinkprogress.org) (93)
(Wimp) Cool Not news: An alley-oop at a high school basketball game. Fark: Out of the shotgun formation  (wimp.com) (73)


Sun April 01, 2012
(Mirror.co.uk) Sappy Not News: Identical twins separated by adoption. Newsy: For 55 years. Fark: They've been living round the corner from each other  (mirror.co.uk) (42)
(Some Bubble Dweller) Strange Not News: Guy hands a kid a five dollar bill and walks away..Police and Media: OMGZ DANGER DANGER  (bnd.com) (125)
(Some Guy) Silly In related news, Colorado Springs is in the midst of a burger war  (gazette.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Not news: Cop turns on emergency lights and siren. Fark: Drivers notice and pull over to the side of the road to let the police car pass safely by  (policeone.com) (140)
(The Sun) Weird Not news: Woman has twins. Fark: One from each womb. (w/pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (67)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Heritage News) Spiffy Heritage News enjoys their moment in the sun after FARK picks up their story about a tornado and a cable company   (chelseanewsroom.blogspot.com) (0)
(Fark) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: How to make newspapers more profitable  (fark.com) (25)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Deadline) Silly Hollywood Squares not enough for you? Well, great news; MTV2 is launching Hip-Hop Squares. This will end in violence and bloodshed  (deadline.com) (33)
(Deadline) Spiffy Usually, it's a tragedy when an actor and director fight and jeopardize the production of a film. But in this case, it's Human Centipede 3 and it's just wonderful news  (deadline.com) (76)
(WTSP) Florida Not news: TV stations now picking "Facebook Friend of the Day." Fark: Tampa station picks a furry. Costume and all  (wtsp.com) (88)
(WLUK) Weird News: Over 900,000 names placed on petition to recall Scott Walker. More news: Only five names removed as fake. Fark: It turns out that someone actually did name their kid "Fungky Van Den Elzen"  (fox11online.com) (313)
(Daily Mail) Cool News article about a pole dancer (w/ pics). Too bad you didn't read the rest of the headline, because it's about a 53 year old guy  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)


Thu March 29, 2012
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Cool No longer News: Teacher has sex with student. Sometimes News: Teacher is hot. Go directly to FARK: Teacher is a Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleader...and she's doing you, kid. +1  (news.cincinnati.com) (263)
(LA Times) Obvious The real news here is that Dennis Rodman is fifty  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (43)
(NHL) Cool Not news: Red Wing loses on the road. News: To the Columbus Blue Jackets. Fark. On national television. Ultrafark: Due to injuries, Columbus started their 5th string goaltender, who got his first NHL win to boot  (nhl.com) (170)


Wed March 28, 2012
(My Fox Dallas) Silly Great grandma may sue Justin Bieber over errant Tweet, throwing the newspaper on her lawn  (myfoxdfw.com) (23)
(The New York Times) Amusing If there ever was a news article screaming to be accompanied by a Nelson Muntz signature laugh, it is this one  (nytimes.com) (41)
(Deadline) Amusing News Corp. shopping an all-sports network to rival ESPN. No word yet on how they plan to present stats and scores in such a way so that it always looks like the team they like is the one that's winning  (deadline.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Dumbass The mainstream press is really doing a number on this Trayvon Martin thing, but I'll bet that the bastions of journalistic integrity at big state school newspapers are... oh my  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (162)
(Stuff.co.nz) Strange News: Soccer ref hands out five red cards. FARK: In the dressing room  (stuff.co.nz) (19)
(96.1 Kiss) Sad Michigan boy gets pet pig taken away due to city law, news cameras are there to capture his tears and one of the greatest child mullets ever seen  (961kiss.com) (119)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Not news: Woman gets revenge on school bullies. Fark: By becoming a smoking hot Victoria's Secret model (probably not safe for work)  (dailymail.co.uk) (124)
(Marketwatch) Spiffy Finally, some positive news for the Dodgers  (marketwatch.com) (119)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Huffington Post) Obvious Fox News politicizes "The Hunger Games" saying it's a cautionary tale against big government and carries a strong conservative message  (huffingtonpost.com) (228)
(Yahoo) Fail Good news: Syria has accepted the UN peace plan, except for the ceasefire part  (news.yahoo.com) (24)
(Gizmodo) Amusing Good news Potter fans Pottermore is now selling E-Book versions of the books you already own 2 print versions of and have already digitally pirated because they wouldn't take your money for them 2 years ago Also, Snape kills dumbledore  (gizmodo.com) (119)
(HyperVocal) Spiffy Hypervocal News gives credit to the FARK submitter who had fun with her husband's iPhone autocorrect feature  (hypervocal.com) (1)
(WebProNews) Spiffy WebProNews credits FARK as the source for the 130 episodes of the Simpsons simultaneously video  (webpronews.com) (0)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for drawing their attention to the odd story of multiple winning lottery tickets  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(Mediaite) Dumbass Fox News scrubs all traces of hoodies from its online store. Hoodies are the new boogieman  (mediaite.com) (125)


Mon March 26, 2012
(Some Guy) Followup Chinese couple refuses to move when skyscrapers built around house. In related news, Disney plans to sue them for copyright infringement  (q95.com) (122)
(C|Net) Fail AOL begins selling off its patents to raise cash. In other news, there are business that still use dial up technology?  (news.cnet.com) (42)


Sun March 25, 2012
(The Sun) Interesting Not news: Smoking hot 22-year-old spends six months planning her entire wedding. Fark: She's single (w/pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (289)
(Daily Mail) Cool Not News: Couple gets married. News: Wedding gets crashed. Fark: By the Queen of England  (dailymail.co.uk) (165)


Sat March 24, 2012
(Boing Boing) Asinine Good News: Surcharge for 3-D movies will soon be a thing of the past. Fark: By just making all tickets more expensive  (boingboing.net) (83)
(Yahoo) Sad Not news: Kid has food allergy. News: Will kill him if he even smells it. Fark: He's allergic to pretty much ALL food  (shine.yahoo.com) (140)
(JSOnline) Obvious MLB team in a small market set to welcome 3 million fans for the season. Ownership to pay for talent. In other news this is happening in Milwaukee. FARK: Team owner will profit. SuperFark: It might work  (jsonline.com) (51)


Fri March 23, 2012
(Fark) Survey Quiz time, come get your fresh Fark Weird News Quiz, right out of the oven  (fark.com) (45)
(Indecision Forever) Amusing Daily Show goes off on Cable news. (sponsored link)  (indecisionforever.com) (83)
(Bloomberg) Obvious China's economy is slowly deflating like a flan in a cupboard. This is great news for the 12 remaining US factory jobs  (bloomberg.com) (24)
(Brockton Enterprise) Dumbass Not news: Man gets third DUI. News: While on tractor. Fark: He was doing doughnuts in a Bobcat  (enterprisenews.com) (23)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Not News: Fight outside of school. News: Prearranged on Facebook. FARK: Between two Moms  (dailymail.co.uk) (28)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Not news: City Manager dumps his entire workload on his two assistants. Fark: Because he laid *himself* off in order to cut costs  (huffingtonpost.com) (50)


Thu March 22, 2012
(Yahoo) Amusing News: French standoff ends in death of gunman. Fark: Female anchor drops f-bomb 57 seconds into this broadcast reporting it  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Heritage Foundation) Fail Good news for business owners and taxpayers. The 120 new federal regulations enacted last year will only cost you $1 billion a year for the next 15 years. Bonus: The Department of Justice says "You'll get over it"  (blog.heritage.org) (84)
(Some Mummy) Sick Not news: Elderly woman buried last Friday after passing away. News: She died two years ago. Fark: Body was stored in the basement of funeral home  (sj-r.com) (20)
(The Atlantic) Sad Why is The Daily Show more effective than The Mainstream Media at reporting news like defunding UNESCO? Stewart recognizes governmental madness and absurdity, while MSM takes it as axiomatic in their "objective" reporting  (theatlantic.com) (135)
(BBC) Interesting Welsh sheep are no longer radioactive, the government announces, which is good news for locals who will no longer have to explain why their crotches are glowing  (bbc.co.uk) (20)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for drawing their attention to an important story about the truthfulness of the media  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Media Matters) Fail Fox News decides Saint Ronald Reagan never apologized for America. Yeah, about that  (mediamatters.org) (102)
(Kamloops Daily News) Spiffy Kamloops Daily News picks FARK's clever Randy Moss headline as one of the best sports laughs of the week  (kamloopsthisweek.com) (1)


Wed March 21, 2012
(Fox News) Scary Not News: If I were the Devil speech perfectly describes the decay of modern-day America. Fark: Speech was given in 1965. "In other words, if I were Satan, I'd just keep on doing what he's doing"  (nation.foxnews.com) (274)
(Slate) Interesting Microsoft's new pitch: our browser doesn't suck anymore. And in related news... hey, they're actually right for once  (slate.com) (109)
(The Register) Spiffy NASA scientists: "Now we understand what's required to explode a supernova." In other news, NASA budget hearings just got a LOT more interesting  (theregister.co.uk) (34)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News credits FARK for the weird story about a breathtaking find at the beach  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)


Tue March 20, 2012
(USA Today) Fail While it's never good news for a car company when they sell a $100,000 luxury car and it breaks down after only 200 miles, but it's REALLY bad when you are a new electric car company, and the customer was Consumer Reports  (content.usatoday.com) (134)
(CNN) Amusing Not news: UConn women's basketball wins another tourney game. News: The final score was 72-26. Fark: The team they beat was an 8 seed that already won their first round game   (sports.sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (125)
(Some Guy) Strange With no interesting Middle East news to report, Al Jazeera acquires American TV rights to first-division French, Italian and Spanish soccer leagues  (epltalk.com) (20)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Media Matters) Obvious The Fox News graphic on taxes paid per gallon of gas was not intended to be a factual statement  (mediamatters.org) (144)
(KTLA) Followup Much like their prices, news of Arco's demise has been greatly exaggerated  (ktla.com) (18)
(Globe and Mail) Dumbass Meet Brenden Dowden, who thought it would be a good idea to brag on Facebook about starting fires and flipping news vans over  (theglobeandmail.com) (34)
(Some Guy) Amusing Well, good for Garry Trudeau. It kinda makes you wonder though... what would it look like if other newspaper cartoonists ran abortion stories? Hmmmmm.... I wonder... what would that look like... *cue harp*  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (73)


Sun March 18, 2012
(LiveLeak) Asinine Not news: police have to stop a European soccer match when crowd gets out of control, burning flares and throwing all manner of things on the field. Fark: at an under-8 kids' game  (liveleak.com) (26)
(Yahoo) Ironic And now some good news for you ladies over 40 who want to regain your youthful looks, you can expect the pimples to start popping up any time now  (gma.yahoo.com) (55)


Sat March 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Sick News: Man arrested for getting a minor drunk. Fark: The minor was a one year old. Total Fark: With a BAC of more than .2  (kltv.com) (68)
(KVAL) Silly "Armed with a box of crackers, Eyewitness News went to the park to see how the squirrels acted"  (kval.com) (35)


Fri March 16, 2012
(Elliot Wave International) Obvious Elliot Wave International compares FARK's non sequitur headlines to the reporting by the financial news media (3rd section)  (elliottwave.com) (0)
(Fark) Survey Friday already? Time for Fark's Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (33)
(Quad City Times) Silly Drunk-o-meter shirt offends Irish newspaper columnist, who sobered up enough to write an angry column about stereotypes  (qctimes.com) (146)
(SLTrib) Scary News: Guy helpfully drives his sister to the store at night to pick up some needed items. Which wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't eight years old  (sltrib.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Interesting NY to DNA swab every convicted felon. In related news, Law & Order SVU now a half hour show  (y100.com) (90)
(US Constitutional Free Press) Silly US Constitutional Free Press discusses the importance of news aggregators and mentions FARK as "fulfilling a very specific need among a news-hungry public"   (usconstitutionalfreepress.wordpress.com) (2)


Thu March 15, 2012
(NFL) Stupid DeSean Jackson guarantees a Super Bowl win in the next five years. Upon hearing the news, Andy Reid used a timeout and called a long pass on 3rd and inches  (nfl.com) (70)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Athlete busted for doping. News: Busted by little-known Canadian sports federation. Fark: Wheelchair Curling   (wheelchaircurler.blogspot.com) (13)
(The Daily Beast) Dumbass As Kansas State's Angel Rodriguez went to the free throw line, Southern Mississippi's marching band chanted "Where's your green card?" In other news, Ole Miss is only the second most backward university in Mississippi   (andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com) (64)
(AL.com) Silly Republican women in Alabama plan to hold a news conference demanding state Democrats cancel a fundraising event in which Bill Maher was never scheduled to attend  (blog.al.com) (233)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass Newsflash: Cats don't jog  (thedenverchannel.com) (151)
(Some Guy) Cool Not news: Scientists send a coded message. News: Through 240 meters of solid stone. Cool: Using only neutrinos. You'll never guess the message they sent  (tgdaily.com) (146)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Brain cancer patient thrown out of hospital because she used her medication. News: It was medical marijuana. Fark: Hospital has a no-smoking policy  (huffingtonpost.com) (244)
(Fox News) Spiffy Not News: Champion archer hopes for gold at 2012 Olympics. Fark: He has only one arm. Holy Fark: He shoots arrows with his teeth  (foxnews.com) (26)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Not news - Fans unhappy with Mass Effect 3 Ending start online petition - News - Fans start charity fund to encourage Bioware to make changes and raise a ton of cash  (retakemasseffect.chipin.com) (311)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy New York Daily News loves the mocking tone of FARK's recent culinary headline (next to last paragraph)  (nydailynews.com) (0)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Hundred Black Out) Amusing News: Rush Limbaugh attracts new sponsors. Fark: Sponsors like Westboro Baptist Church  (hundredblackout.com) (272)
(WebProNews) Interesting "Websites such as the indispensable Drudge Report, Times 24/7, Real Clear Politics, Digg, Fark and Reddit collect news from sources spread across the Web." Wait... are we indispensable now? (4th paragraph)  (webpronews.com) (15)
(Some newshound) Cool Fake news beats out Fox news  (politicususa.com) (63)
(Jezebel) Interesting It must be cool to be Robert Downey Jr. International playboy, movie star, anonymous commenter on horrifying blind-item entertainment news. Wait, what?  (jezebel.com) (67)
(Washington Times) Stupid Germany proposes tax on Fark and other news aggregators for linking to stories. Also considering tax on stock tips, fashion advice, and plans to sue Rwanda for patent infringement on death camps  (washingtontimes.com) (57)
(Politico) Amusing Sarah Palin says Obama campaign took her words "out of context" and "heavily edited" them in new ad. In other news, Palin is apparently unaware of how political ads have worked for the past 5,000 years  (politico.com) (112)
(USM Free Press) Spiffy University of Southern Maine discusses news outlets and media sources: "During my first year, I expanded my horizons with websites like Fark for laughs"  (usmfreepress.org) (0)
(KRQE News) Strange Police search for Hobby Lobby flasher. In other news, a man walked into Hobby Lobby voluntarily  (krqe.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Ironic Not news: Westboro Baptist Chuch members to attend event. News: Westboro Baptist Chuch members invited to attend event. Fark: Westboro Baptist Chuch members invited to attend atheist rally. Hilarity sure to ensue  (theblaze.com) (136)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Good news: Heroin is not a significant problem in Chicago anymore. Bad news: Heroin is now a significant problem in the Chicago suburbs  (chicagotribune.com) (71)


Mon March 12, 2012
(Time) Unlikely World peace inevitable thanks to the news that Kony 2012 has beaten Keyboard Cat and the Numa Numa Guy for most viral video in history  (newsfeed.time.com) (157)
(Some Guy) Followup Here's a list of the newspapers that won't be running Doonesbury this week, notable only for the fact that there are this many newspapers in existence  (dailycartoonist.com) (232)
(ESPN) Interesting Not news: Lakers down by one against the Celtics with only a few seconds on the clock. Still not news: Coach lets Kobe draw up the final play. News: Kobe passed on the final shot to feed Bynum  (sports.espn.go.com) (19)
(NPR) Florida Not news: Underwater home sells for far less than it was worth. News: For 12% of its peak value. Fark: To a fourteen-year-old girl. And of course, it happened in Florida  (npr.org) (242)


Sun March 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Man buys car. News: Dealer sells man with dementia a new car. Fark: a $62,000 Nissan Murano convertible Ultra Fark: They even got him to pay $10,000 in extra accessories, including rust proofing  (pressdemocrat.com) (164)
(Some Guy) Fail Not news: Cops taser suspect. News: Suspect is a 9-year old boy described as "large for his age". FARK: Council fires police chief and disbands the PD  (dispatch.com) (119)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for uncovering a story about a nude raccoon  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(io9) Interesting Not news: Dog gets run over while chasing a car. News: It was a robot dog. Fark: In 1939  (io9.com) (23)


Sat March 10, 2012
(Huffington Post) Interesting Last week's news: Rush is driving advertisers away from his show. This week's news: Rush drives advertisers away from everyone else's show  (huffingtonpost.com) (200)
(YouTube) Amusing The Texas Rangers will no longer play the video of Nolan Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura on the Jumbotron. In other news, the Rangers have been playing the video of team president Nolan Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura for the past 20 years. LGT video  (youtube.com) (84)
(CNBC) Scary Good News: Mom and Dad are selling the family homestead. Bad News: For the price they paid in 1973. Worse News: They're moving in with you  (cnbc.com) (73)
(Yahoo) Amusing Old Broad Goes Viral: A North Dakota newspaper columnist becomes an Internet sensation after her review of the Olive Garden hits the news website Fark  (news.yahoo.com) (22)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Rasmussen Reports) PSA Obama now leads Romney by four points in the swing states of Florida, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia. This is bad news... for Obama  (rasmussenreports.com) (203)
(Starpulse) Spiffy Gay country singer Chely Wright opens center for teens who are questioning their own sexuality. In related news, there's a gay country singer  (starpulse.com) (66)
(Donald Prothero) Amusing Old news: Scientists laughing at the so-called Creation "Museum." New hotness: A paleontologist visits. Finds the first fossil display is a fake. Many of the real fossils are incorrectly identified and the docents don't know jack  (skepticblog.org) (224)
(My Fox DC) Sad Another sign newspapers don't get it  (myfoxdc.com) (39)
(News.com.au) Amusing We have to wonder what this news anchor was referring to when he said "when you do it, let me know so I can open my a**." on live TV  (news.com.au) (57)
(Some Guy) Weird Early morning rush hour traffic looked normal on the FOX 10 Phoenix traffic cam. Except for the blinding explosion caught on live TV which no one can explain. It's happened Mr. Chayefsky. The News is the News  (news.gather.com) (90)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Think Progress) Hero Not news: Congressman calls Norquist's anti-tax pledge "disingenuous and irresponsible." Holy Fark: Republican Congressman calls Norquist's anti-tax pledge "disingenuous and irresponsible"  (thinkprogress.org) (68)
(Yahoo) Obvious What part of OLRTXT HARW DPR REC NAMEC CASE1 EMRG HK US CN HDWR NEWS ENT;0334.HK AAPL.O do you not understand?  (news.yahoo.com) (59)
(Slate) Spiffy Bisexual female characters are TV's hot new thing. In other news, TV just got AWESOME  (slate.com) (72)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Good news: NBC and YouTube team up to stream every 2012 Olympic event live. Bad news: NBC will probably figure out a way to require you to install Silverlight nonetheless  (gizmodo.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Florida Journalism 101: Make sure the image you choose to illustrate your new article isn't from an old news story, doesn't contains the words "eat ass"  (y100.com) (45)
(Yahoo) Florida Keyless car ignitions are too scary; Florida soon to mandate return to buggy whips. Gas station attendants, bank tellers, and newspaper printers keeping fingers crossed  (gma.yahoo.com) (146)
(Daily Mail) Hero Not News: Dog saves owners life. Fark: FOUR TIMES  (dailymail.co.uk) (28)


Wed March 07, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Latest cover of Elle magazine features a nude pregnant Jessica Simpson. In related news, airbrushing supplies are on backorder due to nationwide shortage   (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com) (54)
(USA Today) Spiffy Good news, TFettes: Here's a list of all the Vegas party pools where you'll be able to go topless for the Fark Convention March 30-April 1  (travel.usatoday.com) (117)
(NYPost) Sad What the f--k are you doing? Firing Sue Simmons after 30 years as anchorwoman of WNBC news  (nypost.com) (141)
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Fail Newspaper whines that San Diego isn't taking the Chargers stadium proposal the newspaper commissioned seriously. Putting it on the front page wasn't enough, evidently  (utsandiego.com) (16)
(KATU) Cool The bad news: It's a slideshow. The good news: Baconfest  (katu.com) (16)
(Mother Nature Network) Interesting Michigan State University to offer class on how to survive the upcoming zombie apocalypse. In other news, your Dad is taking a third job to help pay your way through school  (mnn.com) (68)
(LA Times) Asinine Good news, everyone. Now you can legally rip your DVDs to video files to play on your home computer. You just have to take the DVD to a store, pay them to rip it with DRM intact and then can only play from the internet. Brilliant  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (94)


Tue March 06, 2012
(ABC) Fail England undoes ban on its Olympic athletes shaking hands. In other news, England banned their Olympic athletes from shaking hands  (abcnews.go.com) (12)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for the tornado story and the resulting hot air coming from Pat Robertson  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(UPI) Obvious Deep divides amongst leaders over religion, middle-eastern strategy, and social issues including the use of women in the battlefield has splintered once powerful group. And in other news, the Pakistani Taliban is also facing major problems  (upi.com) (28)
(YouTube) Scary Not News: Avalanche. News: Video of avalanche. Fark: Video of avalanche hitting a chairlift. Holy Fark: Video of avalanche hitting a chairlift shot by someone still on the chairlift  (youtube.com) (97)
(YouTube) Obvious Fair and Balanced Fox News in 2008, making sure Americans understand the president has no control over gas prices, United States oil production makes little difference, and we should be promoting mass transit  (youtube.com) (128)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Fond du Lac Reporter) Stupid Good news alcoholics: Mercedes is making flying cars. And if you drive 'em while intoxicated you can keep your license - as long as you're friends with the District Attorney. (With video goodness of "flying" car arrest)  (fdlreporter.com) (72)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Dumbass Leaving your three-year-old at Chuck E Cheese is a mistake. Not realizing she was gone until you saw the report about a missing kid on the news is just farking dumb  (abc2news.com) (67)
(Some Guy) Amusing Good news, everyone! Bender has been elected to the D.C. school board  (pcworld.co.nz) (84)
(Short List) Dumbass Good news: "that scene" from Die Another Day gets recreated in new advert. Bad news: that scene involves 0% Halle Berry and 100% invisible car  (shortlist.com) (13)
(PerthNow) Obvious Deluge of deadly mushrooms in Australia. In other news, some mushrooms are not deadly in Australia  (perthnow.com.au) (67)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Not News: Couple spend £10,000 on cosmetic surgery. Fark: For their dog  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(NYPost) Fail Not news: TSA confiscates woman's bottle of water. Fark: Lets her go with a dagger in her bag. Total Fark: takes 10 minutes for TSA to call the cops  (nypost.com) (81)


Sun March 04, 2012
(Buzzfeed) Interesting The last Six times Rush Limbaugh has apologized. In other news, Rush Limbaugh has apologized more times than you'd think  (buzzfeed.com) (590)


Sat March 03, 2012
(Mercury News) Spiffy Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK's Deion Sanders headline as the clear winner for the week (2nd section)  (mercurynews.com) (0)
(BBC) Asinine In other recession news, people will pay $$$ to have their dog's hair dyed, as the cost of "pet services" passes $50 billion in the US. Your dog wants filet mignon with a side of caviar and a Remy Martin VSOP  (bbc.co.uk) (78)
(Star-Advertiser) Scary The bad news: your kids' teeth are in horrible shape. The good news: we're pretty sure they don't have breast cancer  (staradvertiser.com) (46)


Fri March 02, 2012
(WorldNetDaily) Amusing NEWS: GOP former Louisiana governor ponders presidential run as independent -- FARK: It's Obama's fault  (wnd.com) (95)


Thu March 01, 2012
(Yahoo) Scary News: extreme roller-coaster opening in England; FARK: stunt-pilot after preview ride: "even as a pilot used to G-force there were some gut-wrenching moments"; Ultra-FARK: test runs with crash-test dummies have them return dismembered  (news.yahoo.com) (59)
(io9) Interesting The good news: "Warp speed" travel is theoretically possible. The bad news: You would annihilate everything at your point of destination. "Captain's log, stardate 9522.6: Oops"  (io9.com) (108)
(WAToday) Ironic Former News of the World chief executive Rebekah Brooks had her cell phone hacked. Fark: by reporters from the News of the World  (watoday.com.au) (28)
(ESPN) Amusing Not news: ESPN blogger takes weekend off. Fark: Readers rejoice, nearly every comment on his blog post calls for vacation to be permanent  (espn.go.com) (71)


Wed February 29, 2012
(AZ Family) Sick News: Arizona couple arrested for soliciting three-way on Craigslist. Fark: With a dog  (azfamily.com) (161)
(Bloomberg) Followup Crude oil declines for second day in a row on news that it clearly has nothing to do with gas prices  (bloomberg.com) (21)
(The New York Times) Interesting All three Republican candidates are scheduled to appear on a roundtable with Mike Huckabee on FoxNews Saturday. Finally, we get to hear them speak  (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com) (57)
(TV Geek Army) Fail Local TV news ad prompts us to ask: "What is the FUTURE SCAN for WEDNESDAY, humanoid spouse?"  (tvgeekarmy.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Scary News: Government uses eminent domain to take someone's home; homeowner resists. Not news: Government takes surrounding houses. Fark: Government digs 10-meter moat around holdout's home  (good.is) (88)
(Some Guy) Misc Lindsay Lohan tells Today Show that she is sober and won't let anyone down. News to the left, death pool to the right   (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com) (50)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Marketwatch) Spiffy Dow closes above 13,000 for first time since 2008 on news that Gordon Gekko is back  (marketwatch.com) (41)
(USA Today) Dumbass Fox News anchor apologizes for calling Danica Patrick a "biatch" on air  (content.usatoday.com) (99)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting New Michigan poll shows Santorum regaining the lead over Romney by a point, but if you just look at the numbers from Monday, Santorum is up by five. This is good news... for Obama   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (85)
(Media Matters) Dumbass Fox news commentator helpfully explains the difference between Catholics and Muslims  (mediamatters.org) (154)
(MSNBC) Obvious "I'd really argue for doubling NASA's budget," said the man whose newsletter I would subscribe to  (cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com) (31)
(CBS Local) Amusing Not news: man goes into welding shop looking for work, says he's good with his hands. News: Man is naked. Bonus: Police assisted by a man "who held a hamburger in one hand while lending his other to the effort"  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (23)
(Washington Post) Stupid Not News: Team loses game after opponent hits 2 free throws after a technical foul. News: Technical was for storming the court with 1.1 seconds left. FARK: Against an 8-19 team  (washingtonpost.com) (20)


Mon February 27, 2012
(onlineathens) Dumbass Not News: College student gets his probation revoked. News: Because he was perched on a parking deck peeing on bar patrons below. FARK: He was on probation for painting LOTR graffiti all over campus  (onlineathens.com) (34)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail Good news: Chicago is getting rid of its gang problems. Bad news: they're going into the more affluent suburbs instead of jail  (suntimes.com) (105)
(BBC) Asinine Apparently if you visit the Falklands you can't go to Argentina. In other news there are apparently people who want to visit the Falklands  (bbc.co.uk) (60)
(The Raw Story) Obvious Murdoch newspaper found to be illegally paying corrupt officials. The Sun is there  (rawstory.com) (57)
(Dispatch.com) Interesting Not news: NY Jets center Nick Mangold has a 340-pound sibling who may make the US Olympic weightlifting squad. Fark: it's his sister. With 'just-big-boned' pics and video  (dispatch.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Amusing The 50 greatest movie freakouts is the perfect cure for last night's Oscars. And in other news, Billy Crystal was actually a Comedybot 5000 controlled by Jay Leno (NSFW language)  (worldwideinterweb.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Florida Not news: Former TV news presenter files whistleblower lawsuit against TV station. Florida: Over the studio being dirty  (news-press.com) (18)
(Deadline) Followup With any luck, Jim Rash's Oscar win will be great news for Community  (deadline.com) (34)
(USA Today) Interesting There's a new trend sweeping the nation: Little free libraries. Though you've probably never seen one. That's too bad, because they seem pretty cool. Keep looking, but they'll probably be old news by the time you find one  (usatoday.com) (66)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy This just in to the Fark newsroom: Tennis ace Gabriela Sabatini is still gorgeous  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)


Sun February 26, 2012
(io9) Interesting Not news: Oscar winner predictions. Fark: For the next five years  (io9.com) (22)
(Yahoo) Obvious Adam Sandler receives a record 11 Razzie nominations. In other news, from now on Sandler threads will appear under the Geek tab, as his movies don't qualify as entertainment  (news.yahoo.com) (100)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Restaurant prints a disclaimer on their menus asking parents to remove their unruly children from the restaurant. This is good news for everyone  (news.yahoo.com) (227)
(Reuters) Cool Guy asks Taylor Swift to Prom. Not news, she turns him down. Fark: She asks HIM to the ACM Awards instead  (reuters.com) (69)


Sat February 25, 2012
(Mercury News) Spiffy Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK's recent NBA headline as one of the funniest of the entire week (2nd section)  (mercurynews.com) (1)
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Ten crafty ways to use something called a newspaper around your home  (mnn.com) (53)
(AP) Fail Dish network plans to close 500 Blockbuster stores. In other news, there are still Blockbuster stores  (hosted.ap.org) (103)


Fri February 24, 2012
(National Post) Asinine Not News: Man arrested. News: Man arrested for possession of a firearm at a school. Fark: Because his four-year-old daughter doodled a gun  (fullcomment.nationalpost.com) (171)
(Fark) Survey Okay, get ready. It's time for (possibly the last) Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (66)
(Loop21) Interesting Has the time come for an all black news network?  (loop21.com) (58)
(Reuters) Interesting Putin expected to come roaring back from the political wasteland to eke out a narrow victory. And by "narrow", we mean "with two-thirds of the vote." In other news, Mitt Romney considering shirtless chopping wood photo op  (reuters.com) (25)
(Yahoo) Fail I have some bad news, are you sitting down? Your flight to Zimbabwe has been cancelled  (news.yahoo.com) (11)
(Onion AV Club) Cool FX renews Archer for a fourth season. Call Kenny Loggins, 'cause we're in the D-D-DANGER ZONE  (avclub.com) (187)
(Slate) Interesting Everything you need to know about the Super PACs in one handy chart. This is bad news...for everyone not named Romney  (slate.com) (13)
(Some IT Guy) Scary Not News: Net voting system test hacked. News: System hacked to play college fight song. FARK: Company doesn't notice until 36 hours later  (fiercegovernmentit.com) (18)
(ABC) Sad News: Cancer patient says "Screw chemo, let me go home and die in peace." Fark: Said cancer patient is 12 years old  (abcnews.go.com) (187)


Thu February 23, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting News: Mayoral candidate secretly videotaped getting lap dance from a woman. Not News: Candidate claims he was set up. Fark: He was videotaped while his potential public relations person watched  (kvia.com) (32)
(El Paso Times) Scary Not news: El Paso woman hit by bullet. Fark: Fired from a gun in Mexico  (elpasotimes.com) (62)
(ABC) Amusing Even former RNC chairman Haley Barbour, when asked by ABC news which candidate should win the GOP nomination, gives a "We've got to be able to do better than these guys" answer  (abcnews.go.com) (55)
(New Musical Express) PSA John Peel's legendary music collection to become an online interactive musical museum. This is seriously awesome news  (nme.com) (29)
(Daily Kos) Hero Not news: New Mexico's governor says "Don't let them feelthy queers marry." Fark: her gay hairstylist tells her to fark off  (dailykos.com) (190)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Washington Times) Asinine Former DNC chair to buy the two most prestigious and influential newspapers in a critical swing-state with funds provided by Democratic donors. Of course the newspapers will remain legit and non-parti..Ok I couldn't not laugh  (washingtontimes.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Silly You know it's a slow news day in York, PA one of the lead stories is: With the mild weather, some homeowners already thinking about mowing  (ydr.com) (6)
(The BigLead) Amusing Cubs fan buys domain name for Red Sox new spring training park and redirects it to the Yankees homepage. In other news, only three more weeks until the Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the post-season  (thebiglead.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Weird Man arrested for setting his mouse on fire. And no, that's not a typo. However apparently it is news  (kjrh.com) (47)
(truTV) Fail Fail: Falling because you were texting while walking. Fark: Through the shot of a live news report  (blog.trutv.com) (9)
(St. Petersburg Times) Asinine Actor sneaked cocaine into the White House Correspondent's Dinner, so Obama's a junkie and Sarah Palin is automatically president. Fark: Source is not Fox News  (tampabay.com) (35)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Hero Newspaper employee stakes out vending machine, saves newspaper at least $12  (cleveland.com) (74)
(Fox Business) Strange And lo, the moon became as blood, and the seventh seal opened, and Fox News wrote an article railing against a tax cut  (foxbusiness.com) (28)
(CBS News) News Female journalist killed in Syria just hours after broadcasting news. Yaaarrr, 'tis a sad story  (cbsnews.com) (107)
(WFTV) Florida Good news if your school system paycheck isn't cutting it and you get busted robbing a bank...you're suspended WITH pay  (wftv.com) (18)


Tue February 21, 2012
(CNN) Amusing "Debates have become ultimate event TV" Says news organization that televises debates  (cnn.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Researchers testing new Alzheimer's drug. News: studies show the drug actually impairs memory. Fark: "The new findings are not a red light for [the drug's] development"  (myhealthnewsdaily.com) (35)
(Short List) Dumbass As their nation celebrates pancake day, Brit scientists work out the formula for the ultimate pancake toss. In other news, cancer loves holidaying in London  (shortlist.com) (4)
(Daily Mail) Florida Not news: Fast food CEO works a shift at one of his restaurants for an episode of "Undercover Boss". Fark: He's so shocked by the abusive behavior of the shift manager that he breaks cover and confronts him (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk) (290)


Mon February 20, 2012
(SFGate) Misc Rose Cliver, who survived the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake, dies at 109. In other news, there are still 4 other survivors of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake  (sfgate.com) (42)
(Denver Post) Followup After their anchor's lip was bitten off on live TV, 9News asked the other networks not to air the video. Guess which channel was the only one not to honor the request. Go ahead, guess  (denverpost.com) (201)
(Telegraph) Interesting News: Child lives as a girl and has been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder Fark: at age four  (telegraph.co.uk) (328)


Sun February 19, 2012
(NHL) Fail Not news: Shorthanded Goal. News: 3-on-5 Shorthanded Goal. Fark: Scored by Matt Cooke. Fail is for Philly goaltending  (nhl.com) (47)
(LiveLeak) Obvious New footage, presumably from Fox News, reveals results of an Obama 2012 win  (liveleak.com) (130)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to compete with the FARK regulars with a link to the Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy quiz)  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for a tip about a bizarre foot mystery  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Daily Mail) Amusing Not really news: First Lady Michelle Obama surprises visitors on White House tour. Fark: She shakes hands with a teenager wearing a Ron Paul T-shirt. AWKWARD (w/video & photos)  (dailymail.co.uk) (345)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Fark) Survey The Fark Weird News Quiz is back, so do your worst. No, wait...do your best  (fark.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Sick The bad news is this flight is overbooked. The good news is we have two available seats... in the lavatory. Stay in your stool until we've landed  (gulfnews.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Cool Not news: Sheriff knocks on door to canvas for voters. News: Sheriff finds marijuana grow house and busts occupants. Fark: One occupant says the sheriff has his vote on Election Day. With two of the happiest mugshots you'll ever see  (5newsonline.com) (88)


Thu February 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Florida Not news: Man found guilty of trespassing. Florida: so he drinks poison  (wiod.com) (29)
(US News) Sad One in ten US kids is being raised by a drunk. This is great news for police, social workers, and anybody else whose job security depends on an endless supply of idiots with active reproductive systems. Not so great for kids, though  (health.usnews.com) (173)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Amusing Neighbor from Hell wears sunglasses at night, flashes crotch at kids birthday party, flips the bird to news reporter  (myfoxtwincities.com) (187)
(Daily Mail) Obvious This just in: There's this thing called the "Internet", and you can use it to order things, like, such as, pizzas. Thanks for that newsflash, Domino's ad disguised as a news article  (dailymail.co.uk) (6)
(Kamloops Daily News) Spiffy Kamloops Daily News picks FARK's MMA headline as one of the sports hits of the week (2nd section)  (kamloopsthisweek.com) (2)


Wed February 15, 2012
(MyFoxPhilly) Sick Not news: Sharing bags of tea is the latest trend at a Philadelphia elementary school. FARK: We're not talking Lipton... if ya know what I'm sayin'  (myfoxphilly.com) (62)
(HyperVocal) Spiffy Hypervocal News uses FARK comments in their revealing article about Facebook pictures on a porn site  (hypervocal.com) (11)
(Some Guy) Obvious From the "We Never Saw This Coming" news desk, 19 breastaurant waitresses file sexual harassment lawsuit  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (238)


Tue February 14, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid Not news: GOP tries to get amendment into bipartisan highway bill. Awjeeznotthisshiatagain: Allowing all employers to deny paying for birth control related health services   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (620)
(Nola.com) Stupid News: Two cars fighting gun battle on Interstate accidentally fire into car of innocent women. Fark: Shooter pulls over to apologize  (nola.com) (37)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Telegraph) Cool Alison Krauss now has the most Grammys of any living musician (28) after winning two last night. In other news, Taylor Swift was chosen as the showcase country performance for some reason  (telegraph.co.uk) (111)
(Some Guy) Stupid Bill would force teachers to comply with FCC regulations. in related news, Miss Lipshiatz is about to get a 7 second delay in her classroom  (939mia.com) (94)
(Think Progress) Obvious In keeping with the Right's War on Women, FoxNews pundit advocates the raping of female members of the military, saying "What did they expect?"  (thinkprogress.org) (lots)
(TwinCities.com) Interesting Good news, South Dakota spouse stealers: The anti-spouse-stealing law might get repealed  (twincities.com) (71)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Jose Canseco to try out for Mexican League baseball team. In other news, Los futuros de esteroides son de hasta  (chicagotribune.com) (14)
(Yahoo) Interesting Not News: Study suggests that human industries and the clearing of forest land may have been responsible for climate change. Fark: 2500-3500 years ago  (news.yahoo.com) (160)


Sun February 12, 2012
(The Daily Caller) Obvious Fox News Channel, Washington Post columnist Charles Krauthammer: Israel 'will strike' Iran to 'prevent a second holocaust'. From the video, it's almost like he's cheering for it  (dailycaller.com) (329)
(Some Guy) Cool Not news: Formula 1 car drives the Nürburgring. Cool: Formula 1 car drives the snow covered Nürburgring  (autoblog.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: white granddad takes his black 5-year-old granddaughter for a walk in the park. News: nine cops draw Tasers, handcuff him, and take granddaughter in a patrol car. Fark: this isn't the first time this has happened to them  (gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com) (462)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Some Interviewer) Followup Veteran NBA observer Metta World Peace assesses Jeremy Lin, advises him to play at Rucker, get better haircut, wear leather pants, read Newsday and the WSJ, and come to practice lit  (ken-berger.blogs.cbssports.com) (22)
(BBC) Interesting Five reporters at a Newcorp owned newspaper arrested over bribing public officials. The Sun will be there once it gets bail money  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(Some Guy) Fail News: Winter fest canceled. Fark: Due to cold weather. WTF: In Wisconsin  (sheboyganpress.com) (74)


Fri February 10, 2012
(YouTube) Video This is possibly the greatest local TV news interview of all time  (youtube.com) (104)
(Fark) Survey Get ready, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. #suckitBBC  (fark.com) (29)
(Guardian) Amusing Falkland Islands newspaper editor calls Argentine President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner a biatch. With picture showing what the real issue might be  (guardian.co.uk) (78)
(Philly.com) Interesting According to the scienticians at Philly's leading newspaper, younger women who like guys with money and older men who like younger women can now meet on the internet  (philly.com) (24)
(Short List) Interesting Obama releases his campaign playlist on Spotify. Fox News disappointed with the damn American-ness of it all. Everyone else disappointed with the damn U2-ness of it all  (shortlist.com) (152)
(Reuters) Fail Romanian man accused of hacking into NASA computers would be serious news if Romania had any sort of space program  (reuters.com) (9)
(Fox News) Stupid Shyness and grieving will soon be classified as mental illnesses. In other news, pharmaceutical companies will soon have nice new drugs available to help cure you of your newly classified illnesses  (foxnews.com) (68)
(UPI) Cool World's largest collection of rare liquors on sale for $8 million. In completely unrelated news, TotalFark subscriptions to rise to $10/month for some damn reason  (upi.com) (9)
(Des Moines Register) Stupid The good news is girls are no longer dumber than boys when it comes to math and science. The bad news: Both sexes are pretty dumb when it comes to math and science  (desmoinesregister.com) (32)
(YouTube) Hero Not news: Teenager trash-talks parents on Facebook. News: IT Dad finds said post while upgrading teenager's laptop. Fark: Lectures her and goes "Dirty Harry" on the offending computer  (youtube.com) (392)
(LA Times) Spiffy News: Scientists have found a drug that reverses Alzheimer's in mice within 72 hours Fark: the drug also cures cancer  (latimes.com) (28)


Thu February 09, 2012
(ESPN) Weird Lin does the impossible. I'm not sure how he did it, but he made beating the Wizards seem newsworthy  (sports.espn.go.com) (60)
(Salon) Obvious When articles invoking the Holocaust and urging creative destruction in Iran appear on the same day in the WaPo, WSJ, Newsweek and Bloomberg News, a skeptical observer might be forgiven for suspecting a well-coordinated propaganda campaign  (salon.com) (430)
(Slate) Obvious The good news for Santorum: raising $1m in just 24 hours. The bad news: Gingrich is vowing to stay in the race till the bitter end. Romney smiles from high atop his heaping bags of cash  (slate.com) (50)
(MSNBC) Cool Jobless claims fall to a four-year low on news that Obama will soon begin pelting the unemployed with marshmallows   (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (177)
(USA Today) Asinine Gasoline prices expected to spike 60 cents a gallon in next few months on news that Apple is getting all the headlines  (usatoday.com) (20)
(LiveLeak) Video BBC news crew manages to track down and confront racist internet tough guy, who was trolling memorial pages on Facebook  (liveleak.com) (55)


Wed February 08, 2012
(IEEE Spectrum) Cool (Almost) everyone loves the Taiwanese media animations of current news events. Now, learn the cool story of the man behind the Next Media madness (and how they do it so quickly)  (spectrum.ieee.org) (28)
(Some Guy) Interesting Former Republican candidate Gary Johnson says "FARK YEAH" when referring to the 9th's gay marriage decision. In other news, he is still running for President under the (L) label  (garyjohnson2012.com) (129)
(Some Guy) Sick If you ever wanted the pleasure of having the measles AND you were at the Super Bowl village last Friday, I have some good news for you  (fox59.com) (58)
(doubtful news) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for its bizarre story about garage door openers  (skeptic.com) (0)


Tue February 07, 2012
(New York Magazine) Obvious Republicans finally realize they're helping Obama. This is bad news, for Obama  (nymag.com) (65)
(Short List) Hero Not news: Man starts police chase. Fark: Man starts police chase because he "always wanted to do it"  (shortlist.com) (62)
(9 News) Dumbass News: Athlete arrested for a suspected DUI. Fark: His license plate says SAUCED  (9news.com) (23)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Fox News) Interesting Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico  (latino.foxnews.com) (112)
(411Mania) Interesting Latest ABCNews poll has President Obama leading Mitt Romney 51-45%, and by more than 2 to 1, voters say that the more they learn about Romney, the less they like him. This is bad news...for Obama  (411mania.com) (172)
(Daily Kos) Asinine Not news: Conservatives hate Planned Parenthood. WTF: 51% of them oppose them for cancer screenings too  (dailykos.com) (376)
(Media Matters) Dumbass Fox News contributor and Breitbart catamite: "Obama should go back to burning the taxpayer-funded incense to whatever pagan, foreign deity he's worshipping"  (mediamatters.org) (196)
(RealClearPolitics) PSA The RCP average of President Obama's job approval rating is now positive for the first time since right after Osama Bin Laden was killed. This is bad news... for Obama  (realclearpolitics.com) (114)
(Sci Mag) Cool News: Scientists accidentally make a sheet of glass only three atoms thick, analyze its structure. Fark: It exactly matches a prediction made by a glass theorist in 1932  (news.sciencemag.org) (45)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Chronicle of Higher Ed) Sad Not news: Baby tested for fear of rat, dog and monkey. News: Unafraid until accompanied by loud clang. Fark: He was probably autistic, and the shady research psychologists knew it. Ultrafark: The year was 1920  (chronicle.com) (39)
(SlashFilm) Followup Great Scott, it looks like there's some more good news about that Back to the Future musical. Specifically, that it's not happening  (slashfilm.com) (31)


Sat February 04, 2012
(New York Daily News) Cool Syracuse beats St. John's, giving Jim Boeheim his 879th win, tying him for third all-time with UNC legend Dean Smith. In other news, Jim Boeheim's wife is freaking hot  (nydailynews.com) (11)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives its readers a chance to beat the scores of the FARK regulars in The Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy version)  (huffingtonpost.com) (9)
(Statesman) Hero News: motorcyclist chases down DUI hit-and-run driver and hog-ties him with a belt. Texas: for the second time in 9 months. Fark: is recognized at the scene by the arresting police officer from the prior incident  (m.statesman.com) (115)
(Buzzfeed) Dumbass Mitt Romney: We are the only people who put their hand over our hearts during the national anthem. In other news, Chinese, South Africans, Brazilians, Ghanaians, Cubans, Mexicans, and Peruvians aren't people  (buzzfeed.com) (159)
(hampton roads) Spiffy Hampton Roads (Virginia) thinks that their recent odd news deserves a dedicated FARK icon, just like Florida (10th paragraph)  (hamptonroads.com) (5)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Obama's job news hits new low  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (591)
(Slate) Amusing Protip: Whenever a news story ends with a question mark, the answer is always "no". Case in point: "Is Bill Belichick quietly the NFL's best-dressed coach?"  (slate.com) (21)
(YouTube) Amusing If you're going to do a news story about a massive cockfighting operation busted in San Diego with over 2000 cocks discovered, you may not want to let a woman read the copy  (youtube.com) (22)


Thu February 02, 2012
(UPI) Spiffy U.S. manufacturing activity gains in January. In related news, apparently there is still some U.S. manufacturing activity  (upi.com) (50)
(Talking Points Memo) Spiffy More good news for Mitt Romney as Sharron Angle is set to endorse Rick Santorum   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (11)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Man arrested after attempting to move the vehicle blocking his car. News: It was an ambulance. Fark: Paramedics were loading it with a patient at the time  (y100.com) (76)
(WTOP) Interesting Virginia may be about to pass a law that separates school year planning from King's Dominion's schedule. In other news, Virginia currently plans its school year around King's Dominion's schedule  (wtop.com) (108)
(USA Today) Asinine Hey, good news everybody. Your frequent flier miles might now be taxable  (travel.usatoday.com) (28)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Denver Post) Sad Colorado's biggest embarrassment since the 1997 Denver Nuggets endorses Rick Santorum. In other news, Rick Santorum is evidently still running for president  (denverpost.com) (40)
(Politico) Stupid WSJ publishes opinion piece which states Obama has an enemies list headed Charles and David Koch, written by... the lawyer for Charles and David Koch. Fox News smiles as its apprentice finally becomes a Sith  (politico.com) (60)
(Abc.net.au) Cool Not News: The director of "Priscilla Queen Of The Desert" comes out of the closet. Excuse me while I put on my shocked face  (abc.net.au) (17)
(The Sun) Followup UK remains in full EVERYBODY PANIC mode as temperatures plunge to 14°F, which newspaper notes is colder than Antarctica (where it is currently summer)  (thesun.co.uk) (99)
(Some Guy) Fail Don't you hate when you get wrongfully arrested as a pedophile and have your face plastered on all the newspapers? Again?  (kfoxtv.com) (45)
(USA Today) Sad American home ownership has plummeted to record lows on news that home values are plummeting even more  (usatoday.com) (131)
(news junkie post) Spiffy News Junkie Post: "Social news sites like FARK are places to post and discuss the latest headlines. They are the primary focal point for activism". (2nd section)  (newsjunkiepost.com) (0)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Rolling Stone) Interesting Comedian from popular, news-savvy TV show launches Presidential campaign to expose foibles of the political process. No, we're not talking about Stephen Colbert. Come upon my lawn and let me tell you about Pat Paulsen  (rollingstone.com) (67)
(Huffington Post) Florida In today's you-can't-make-this-shiat-up news, a pro-Gingrich robocall is claiming Romney forced Holocaust survivors to eat non-kosher food  (huffingtonpost.com) (206)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Not news: Super Bowl stadiums. Fark: made of meat  (blogs.westword.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sports news: Topps releases 2012 baseball card set. Fark : St Louis Cardinal Skip Schumaker was replaced by a squirrel  (inquisitr.com) (38)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Yahoo) Unlikely New study shows that Americans' political views are not that far apart. In other news Yankees and Red Sox fans have friendly get together  (news.yahoo.com) (53)
(Short List) Unlikely News: Martin Scorsese pens angry op-ed piece bemoaning the lack of awards love for an actor from his latest film. Fark: Said actor is a Doberman named Blackie  (shortlist.com) (26)
(Washington Post) Obvious This just in: Republicans don't like Obama. As in, "hate him with the fire of a thousand suns" dislike. In other news, Bill Gates is rich, Elton John is gay, and the Pacific Ocean is like, wow, really big  (washingtonpost.com) (235)
(UPI) Dumbass If you break into the CNN newsroom, it's probably best not to use their computers to check your Facebook status  (upi.com) (38)
(YouTube) Amusing To the left: Muppets commenting on Fox News. To the right: Oh Snap and Burn pictures  (youtube.com) (44)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Bangor Daily News) Amusing Subby can't speak for you, but this is the first time he has seen 'unibrow' in a legitimate news article  (bangordailynews.com) (34)
(LA Times) Silly You know it's a slow news day when the Los Angeles Times takes issue with the accuracy of Google's Snowflake Doodle  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (34)

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