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Headlines matching 'needs'
Fri February 10, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Washington Post) Silly Wᴀsʜɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ Dc NEEDs tᴏ work oN ɪts ᴍɪXEᴅ-ᴄAsE sᴛʀEᴇᴛ sɪGɴs  (washingtonpost.com) (46)
(Short List) Dumbass Scientists create a robot that needs to shiat. Meanwhile, cancer is still without a cure  (shortlist.com) (17)


Mon February 06, 2012
(wptv.com) Florida Honestly officer, my daughter with cerebral palsy said I could take 40 grand from her special needs account so my son and I could buy trucks  (wptv.com) (52)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Daily Mail) Fail Problem: Newt Gingrich needs to woo women voters. Solution: RELEASE THE CALLISTAKEN  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Washington Post) Silly Washington, D.C. desperately needs a groundhog. No prairie dogs need apply  (washingtonpost.com) (17)
(LiveLeak) Amusing Old man decides his car needs a good cleaning after driving through the farmers market  (liveleak.com) (21)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Quad City Times) PSA Illinois needs more female prison guards. Giggity  (qctimes.com) (26)


Fri January 27, 2012
(io9) Obvious If you're ever stranded on a desert island, the one thing you should be sure to have is an abundant supply of breast milk  (io9.com) (60)
(LA Times) Interesting The newest popular hairstyle is based on Boardwalk Empire's Jimmy Darmody: Close on the sides, long and combed back on top, gaping exit wound in the back  (articles.latimes.com) (31)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Boston Herald) Amusing Overpaid public servant accidentally emails reporter instead of publicist looking for advice on concealing her salary  (bostonherald.com) (79)
(The Daily Caller) Dumbass Darrell Issa says Eric Holder needs to apologize for Operation Fast and Furious. And yet, Vin Diesel is considered blameless  (dailycaller.com) (52)


Tue January 24, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting Aretha Franklin calls off wedding, says that she needs to think (think, think) about what he's trying to do to her, decides she needs her freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, ooh freedom  (news.yahoo.com) (24)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Time) Scary Year of the Dragon to spur baby boom in Asia. Because if there's one thing Asia needs, it's more people  (newsfeed.time.com) (86)
(Boston Herald) Obvious The GOP needs George Bush back  (bostonherald.com) (69)


Sun January 22, 2012
(Fox News) NewsFlash Gabrielle Giffords needs Congress like she needs a  (foxnews.com) (315)
(LiveLeak) Stupid For all your titanosaurus-hunting needs  (liveleak.com) (54)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Sun Sentinel) Florida If a stranger approaches you and says he's a porn producer and needs your debit card and PIN so he can launder some money through your account for a few days, be cautious  (sun-sentinel.com) (65)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Florida Department of Law Enforcement needs to test new Breathalyzers, but how? Buy a bunch of Jim Beam and Doritos and get the employees drunk, of course  (heraldtribune.com) (43)


Wed January 18, 2012
(FilmDrunk) Fail Theater patrons demand refund after learning that "The Artist" was a silent movie. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (58)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Huffington Post) Hero Gay parents are not only better than their heterosexual counterparts, but they do so by adopting children who are typically "too old," outside of their race, or have special needs. Tag is for anyone, anywhere, who adopts a child  (huffingtonpost.com) (286)


Mon January 16, 2012
(Daily Mail) Dumbass I don't know what an Erin Wasson is, but it's screaming "Look at me, I'm an attention whore". And it needs a sammich  (dailymail.co.uk) (76)


Fri January 13, 2012
(The Consumerist) Spiffy Why the United States needs to take pennies out of circulation. They're disgusting, annoying, smelly things that have no place in modern society  (consumerist.com) (219)
(Townhall) Interesting Media: The GOP needs to stop being beholden to the fringe people called 'conservatives' and shift towards the left, where most Americans are. Facts: 41% of Americans identify as Conservative, 21% as Liberal and 35% Moderate  (townhall.com) (280)


Wed January 11, 2012
(News.com.au) Scary Greek rescue needs "tens of billions" more. I'm holding out for a gyro  (news.com.au) (38)
(Some Guy) Cool Nerdgasm Alert: LEGO® THE LORD OF THE RINGS posters (fark needs a Want tag)  (heyuguys.co.uk) (49)


Mon January 09, 2012
(New Zealand Herald) Sappy Just a typical love story of boy meets girl, girl gives boy wrong number by mistake, girl finds boy with the help of nationwide internet campaign, girl finds out boy already has a girlfriend and needs to get to the gym in 26 minutes  (nzherald.co.nz) (91)


Sun January 08, 2012
(MSNBC) Sad Chaz Bono needs $45,000 for upcoming addadictomy operation   (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com) (95)


Fri January 06, 2012
(AlanCross.ca) Interesting How did the special audience lyrics in Billy Idol's "Mony Mony" originate? Seriously, people, this is an important anthropological question that needs an answer  (alancross.ca) (166)
(wlbz.com) Dumbass A man robbing a Dallas hair salon demands all the cash for himself, all the change for his kids, and the best hair extensions because, "My b**** needs some hair extensions"  (wlbz2.com) (21)


Wed January 04, 2012
(Some non-movie going Guy) Obvious Movie attendance hits 16-year low in 2011. Makers of 'Mars Needs Moms', 'The Beaver', and 'Arthur' forced to buy medium-sized jacuzzi for new vacation homes in Tahiti instead. The horror  (austin.culturemap.com) (116)


Sat December 31, 2011
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Obama "no longer needs Congress to promote his agenda," says fear will keep the local systems in line  (chicagotribune.com) (114)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Hollywood Tuna) Fail Someone needs to tell Maria Menounos that when you tweet hot tub bikini pictures, crop out your parents first  (hollywoodtuna.com) (36)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Boing Boing) Silly Who needs a yule log when you could have a pixel log?  (boingboing.net) (10)
(Fox News) Cool DeLorean from Back to the Future 3 sells for over $540,000. Unfortunately, wherever it's going, it still needs roads  (foxnews.com) (24)
(Boing Boing) Scary Who needs SOPA when you have GoDaddy's shutdown policy?  (boingboing.net) (52)


Wed December 21, 2011
(New York Magazine) Stupid Candy store Sugar & Plumm Purveyors of Yumm learns the hard way the Upper West Side doesn't like cute store names, bright layouts, or fun. "The whole thing needs toned down. The coolest places in New York have no signs"  (nymag.com) (163)
(vimeo) Spiffy 59-year old woman needs to make 114' hole-in-one hockey shot for a chance to win a truck. Do you believe in miracles?  (vimeo.com) (43)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Toronto Sun) Hero US: 'We can't socialize healthcare, it'll kill innovation' Canada: 'Oh yeah? Where's your HIV vaccine, eh?' Hero tag needs a maple leaf  (torontosun.com) (305)


Mon December 19, 2011
(USA Today) Stupid Good news, everybody. USA Today has released its annual "I'm a social leper with no communication skills and need advice on how to handle even the most simplistic issues" advice column. Not that anybody here needs that, of course  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (37)


Sat December 17, 2011
(WXYZ Detroit) Fail Woman puts $700 worth of Christmas gifts in wrong car. Who needs the Grinch to steal Christmas when you can give it away yourself?  (wxyz.com) (77)


Fri December 16, 2011
(CBS) Dumbass Two people hunting for scrap metal at nursing home score a ton of building supplies  (detroit.cbslocal.com) (59)
(Studio Briefing) Obvious As if Netflix needs anyone else to give them the stinkeye, now it's coming from the Securities and Exchange Commission  (studiobriefing.net) (23)


Wed December 14, 2011
(11 Alive) Asinine It apparently needs to be said: Do not give $10,000 in cash to the 'stock broker' you met in a parking lot  (roswell.11alive.com) (51)


Mon December 12, 2011
(The Local Norway) Interesting Butter priced at $515 a pack on Norway's black market as demand soars. What's smør, people are willing to pay for it  (thelocal.no) (111)


Sun December 11, 2011
(Washington Post) Obvious 1% starting to realize that maybe the 99% actually needs money to purchase goods to keep the economy working  (washingtonpost.com) (314)
(ABC) Ironic Chuck Schumer thinks that all the TSA needs to fix itself is a "passenger advocate," position to be filled by the agency that's needing help determining "right" from "wrong" in the first place  (abcnews.go.com) (98)


Sat December 10, 2011
(Daily Mail) Amusing Fark squirrel really needs to hit the gym in about 26 minutes  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Hey, you know what really needs a remake? American Psycho  (filmschoolrejects.com) (132)
(CBS News) Ironic Monster.com needs to send its resume to another index, as it's been downsized from the S&P 500  (cbsnews.com) (32)


Wed December 07, 2011
(Onion AV Club) Stupid Apparently, Adam Sandler thinks the world needs a sequel to Grown Ups  (avclub.com) (66)


Mon December 05, 2011
(New York Daily News) Obvious Mother Palin needs to scoop up Mitt Romney, ruffle his perfectly coiffed hair, hold him to her bosom, and explain to the Tea Party faithful that it's OK to vote for a Northeast Liberal elitist that believes in some scary moon God  (nydailynews.com) (124)
(Discover) Strange Scientists samples sperm from wide variety of naked mole rats. Oh well, everyone needs a hobby  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (13)


Sun December 04, 2011
(LA Times) Followup Hockey mom penalized for taking a 2-on-1 from her son's team (w/needs a hockey mask pic)  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (84)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Some Guy) PSA Protip: If your disturbed wife's shopping list includes plastic sheets, gallons of bleach, eight roasting pans, and a Sawzall, you might want to spend the holidays elsewhere  (heraldnet.com) (82)


Fri December 02, 2011
(Boing Boing) Silly Defibrillator toaster. It's the one *CLEAR* choice for your breakfast needs  (boingboing.net) (16)


Thu December 01, 2011
(YouTube) Florida One woman, 15 children by 5 babydaddys, fiancée in jail and "somebody needs to pay for ALL my chilren"  (youtube.com) (309)
(YouTube) Amusing Herman Cain - Bad Lip Reading - Everybody Needs Toucan Stubs  (youtube.com) (27)


Wed November 30, 2011
(Some New Guy) Obvious Obama needs to rebrand himself. But not like the "New Coke," more like Kim Kardashian  (usnews.com) (42)


Mon November 28, 2011
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Teen who needs to spend more time watching Ric Romero dismayed when the racy pics she uploaded wind up on porn sites  (palmbeachpost.com) (550)
(Some Guy) Asinine If law enforcement needs to take over your Facebook account so that they can pretend to be you while they investigate your friends, then Facebook will not require a warrant, court order, or subpoena, just a polite request  (dailydot.com) (88)


Sun November 27, 2011
(Washington Post) Asinine All the governments that haven't sold children as farm slaves, take a step forward. Not so fast, Switzerland  (washingtonpost.com) (70)
(Entertainment Weekly) Fail Have you ever looked at your Christmas tree and thought, "It needs more tanned guidos?" Well, these Jersey Shore ornaments have you covered  (popwatch.ew.com) (48)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Kansas City) Asinine Kansas Governor: "Students should be more active in government." Student tweet: "You suck". Governor: "That's not what I meant--call her school & demand an apology"  (kansascity.com) (257)


Wed November 23, 2011
(clatl.com) Silly A picture of John Fitzgerald Page's cheerleader costume has surfaced. He needs to be at the costume shop in 26 minutes. (7th pic from the bottom)  (clatl.com) (77)
(Komo) Fail Not News: 6th grader falls asleep in class. News: His punishment? Being forced to mow the school lawn. FARK: He has special needs and a medical condition causing him to sleep  (komonews.com) (128)


Mon November 21, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Dumbass UC-Davis chancellor won't resign, claiming "the university needs me"  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (239)
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Europe needs a firewall to stop the contagion. Good luck, I'm behind 7 currencies  (businessweek.com) (15)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Obvious With Oregon and Oklahoma joining Oklahoma State in the "Weekend of Choke", can we all agree now that the BCS is a heaping, steaming pile of boolsheet and needs to be ditched?  (collegefootball.rivals.com) (273)
(LA Times) Unlikely Joe Paterno's son has a plan to get his dad's name back on the Big 10 trophy. But he needs someone to go back in time with him. You'll get paid after you get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (138)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Some Guy) PSA Movember is more than halfway over and Team Fark needs your support  (movember.com) (41)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Marketwatch) Obvious Dude, you're getting higher PC prices  (marketwatch.com) (56)
(The Register) Stupid New EU "Right to be forgotten" proposal could allow everyone to demand to have unfavorable news articles about them flushed down the memory hole  (theregister.co.uk) (29)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass This is why the iPhone needs a breathalyzer app  (thesmokinggun.com) (10)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Yahoo) Sick Air Force mortuary needs a hand finding some body parts of fallen Airmen  (news.yahoo.com) (46)
(CNN) Followup I hear even Bill Bennett thinks that Herman Cain needs to do a better job of explaining the numerous allegations against him  (cnn.com) (111)
(MSNBC) Fail Bad: 13 year-old, poor African American girl is raped. Real bad: She's impregnated. Fark: The state decides she's a whore and needs to be sterilized  (rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com) (230)


Fri November 04, 2011
(ABC) Cool MF Global CEO hires criminal defense attorney because of all those pesky unnecessary criminal laws. He just needs government off of his back  (abcnews.go.com) (90)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Onion AV Club) Obvious The AV Club's Reasonable Discussions #19: "Bono Still Needs a Cockpunching"  (avclub.com) (27)


Tue November 01, 2011
(Mass Live) PSA Western Massachusetts residents still without electricity, Lady Schicks. Supplies of granola and Ani DiFranco CDs needed urgently  (masslive.com) (64)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Telegraph) Spiffy Prince William no longer needs his crown jewels to become monarch  (telegraph.co.uk) (95)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Science Daily) Cool VISTA finds new globular star clusters. A fatal error has just occurred and VISTA needs to restart  (sciencedaily.com) (18)


Mon October 24, 2011
(MyFox Twin Cities) Obvious Problem: Minnesota needs manufacturing workers bad, but since it's flyover country and there may not be an Apple store for 100 miles, OWS protesters need not bother  (myfoxtwincities.com) (248)
(LiveLeak) Cool Why Fark needs an awesome tag. Grab a barf bag and take a 10-minute ride with the Blue Angels  (liveleak.com) (23)


Sat October 22, 2011
(Daily Record (UK)) Sappy Blind dog needs new home. Fortunately, she has a seeing eye dog to help her find one  (dailyrecord.co.uk) (50)
(YouTube) Video Canada needs more pirates to fight the ninja invasion  (youtube.com) (13)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Fail Good: School calls parents to say the bus carrying their special-needs children home will be a little late. Fark: Does not tell them it's because the driver passed out, crossed oncoming traffic and crashed into a tree  (wtkr.com) (42)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Kotaku) Cool Harrison Ford plays Uncharted 3. Nothing else needs to be said  (kotaku.com) (32)


Mon October 17, 2011
(ESPN) Obvious That guy, that guy is a broadcaster. You take what a broadcaster needs and you find it in that guy. For the next 5 years, that will be the guy announcing for ESPN  (espn.go.com) (65)


Sun October 16, 2011
(Daily Mail) Obvious Your mom needs a beer  (dailymail.co.uk) (37)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Some Illegal Alien) Interesting World famous Very Large Array (VLA) radio telescope just got upgraded, needs a new name. Submissions to the left and right. VE  (nrao.edu) (161)

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