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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Unintelligible)		Submitter needs suggestions for a House Fly home remedy - anyone got something better than this? anything?  (wikihow.com)	(103)
(Some Guy)		You know that sugar scrub you see offered on backpage? Turns out they are real things. Subby thought it was a euphemism for something else. Anyway, here's how you can put one together, maybe to give on Father's Day  (thelook.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(37)

		I'm thinking of using a non-sequitor to greet various people. I was thinking something like "Brother" or "Boss". Maybe "Man". What non-sequitors do you use or have used on you?  (fark.com)	(374)
		Brooke Burke and um...er...something about "shake" and er.. um.."squeeze" or something, and um ... I'll be back later  (youtube.com)	(33)

		At last, something to look forward to: If you are elderly and poor, prison is a better alternative than a retirement home  (io9.com)	(110)
		The incredibly strange but true story of invisible meth labs, dogs shot dead and John McAfee, founder of McAfee Antivirus, on the lam in Belize  (gizmodo.com)	(99)
(Some Guy)		One Million Moms is not pleased with Marvel and DC's homosexual comic book characters, sees no reason why they have to go and gay up something wholesome like men sneaking off to put on flamboyant costumes and grapple with each other  (robot6.comicbookresources.com)	(266)
		Leave it to Marion Barry to say something racist while apologizing for saying something racist  (wtop.com)	(135)
		Deadliest Catch deck boss discovers that there's something even deadlier that you can catch  (foxnews.com)	(40)

(Times Tribune)		Suggestions for Father's Day activities: go fishing; go watch a sporting event; sit outside and grill; get arrested together for meth distribution  (thetimestribune.com)	(14)
(Some Guy)		Astronomy Picture of the Day: All the Water on Europa. Something something, attempt no land... ahhh just look at the cool pics  (129.164.179.22)	(38)

		Here's something to get the Whedonites all fired up: "Does Firefly Take Place In The Same Universe As Prometheus?"  (neatorama.com)	(87)
(Physics World)		Quantum teleportation record broken... again. This is everything all at once while being nothing at the same time as something else is other than the thing it is while being in the exact same space as another without touching. Makes sense  (physicsworld.com)	(39)
		If I'm reading this article correctly, and I believe that I am, the Obama campaign is doing some sort of weird experimenting with advertisements that use something called "empire-ism." Hm. Guess the man is a dictator  (slate.com)	(50)
		All those witnesses who you've been basing your defense of George ZImmerman on? Yeah, sit down I have something to tell you  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(741)

		Animal Planet is going to create a 2 hr. CGI special "Mermaids: The Body Found." Were mermaids as we know them real, or was it something more realistic like aquatic apes?  (foxnews.com)	(119)
(Nunatsiaq Online)		Arctic rivers add toxic mercury to the Arctic Ocean. This sounds like something that came from Hg wells  (nunatsiaqonline.ca)	(103)
		11 bizarre methods of time travel. A time-traveling phone booth? That's just silly  (toplessrobot.com)	(55)
		Hundreds of thousands of Canadians still using dial-up. I wish there was something funny I could say about this but I'm one of them and I pray for death every day  (cbc.ca)	(129)
(Some Guy)		Politician horrified at something that is legal, safe, wants to ban it. "I mean that is just so crystal clear, there is no debate, no discussion"   (sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com)	(808)
(Some Guy)		...and at night, the meth fairy flies through your window to spread her gift of love and joy (with fairy mugshot)  (kirotv.com)	(60)

		WaPo has decided that something a small group of Mormons did back over 150 years ago is relevant to Romney today. So when are they bringing up Obama's Grandpa Jefferson Davis  (weeklystandard.com)	(234)
		The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-Man, Prometheus: which blockbuster has given the most footage away in trailers? Turns out it's not actually Prometheus  (denofgeek.com)	(33)

		Obamunists, Paulterians, Mittenfreaks, and maybe even Johnsoners can all agree on something: arresting a WWII veteran for "electioneering" from wearing an Obama t-shirt in a room next to a poll is pretty farked up  (wfaa.com)	(154)
		If you are trying to get control of the 300 lb. gator, using a towel is not the best method to do so  (news.yahoo.com)	(19)
		Radio host and easy prey Rush Limbaugh wonders when the environmentalist wackos are going to start doing something about all the pollution and environmental damage being caused by lions, tigers, and sharks  (mediamatters.org)	(143)

(Some Guy)		If you're not tired of all the Prometheus footage Ridley Scott is using to ruin the movie ahead of release, here's a glimpse of the Yutani Corporation  (slyoyster.com)	(28)
		Romney calls attack ad about a steel mill that Bain Capital closed down "really off target" because they hadn't finished looting the mill until after he left "so that's hardly something that should be on my watch"  (abcnews.go.com)	(186)

(news8000.com)		Two accused of driving with portable meth lab next to toddler. That's methed up  (news8000.com)	(65)
		"Repeal and Replace" replaced by "Fark it. We're not going to do something hard like health care reform"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(117)
(wlfi.com)		12-year-old boy put in jail by mistake. Officers suspected something was wrong upon realizing that they jailed a 12-year-old boy  (wlfi.com)	(73)
		Russian satellite captures highest-resolution image of Earth ever. Something must be wrong with this monitor, I can't see America  (foxnews.com)	(15)

		Finally, with student debt topping $1 trillion, college presidents are waking up and recognizing that they might have to handle education costs through methods other than tuition increases. Maybe think about following a budget and things  (nytimes.com)	(405)
(Twitchy)		Weird Al Yankovic invites fans to call him at something called a "pay phone"  (twitchy.com)	(44)
		Creepy: Finding two dead bodies while you're flying a kite. Really Creepy: They are wearing raincoats, lead masks, and carrying a note about taking pills and waiting for something to happen  (ramblingbeachcat.com)	(111)
		Eight times that a Vice President did something that really mattered  (slate.com)	(25)
		Contraceptive implants may prevent repeat teen pregnancies. Finally, something to offset the effects that breast implants had on getting them pregnant in the first place  (cnbc.com)	(44)

Beauty pageant officials strip Miss Fiji of crown for not looking native enough. There's got to be something in the water  (news.com.au)

(66)

There's ordinary dumb. There's "busted for cooking meth" dumb. And then there's "busted for trying to cook meth without even having the right ingredients" dumb  (ajc.com)

(32)

(Twitter)

Okay, Biden. Now say something about decriminalizing pot  (twitter.com)

(133)

		Believe it or not, there are actually people out there who interpret President Obama's support for gay marriage to mean that he's secretly gay. It's like the world is full of idiots or something  (uproxx.com)	(163)
		Thrice-divorced Rush Limbaugh on the sanctity of marriage: "words used to mean something"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(153)
		Most new cars now have a little arrow on one side of the gas pump icon on the fuel gauge. It actually means something--but what?  (slate.com)	(259)
(Columbia Journalism Review)		You know something is askew when the trust fund liberals at Columbia University start taking note of media bias  (cjr.org)	(48)
		Scientists have found the neurotransmitter responsible for something or other  (sciencedaily.com)	(2)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop a keyboard action that would do something in real life... LGT example  (i218.photobucket.com)	(50)

		Female Breasts Are Bigger Than Ever and then the headline goes on about something else  (abcnews.go.com)	(½)
		"The Greatest Canadian" was a poor Baptist preacher that decided health care should be a fundamental right and then did something about it. Had he born in America, the US might be in better shape  (neatorama.com)	(141)
		Fox confirms Prometheus will be rated "R" for Rehash of Alien  (deadline.com)	(108)
		Vikings release their highest scorer, because clearly there's something wrong with him if he's willing to be a part of such a spectacular failure  (espn.go.com)	(75)
		Nomophobia: the fear of captioned cats? Or something more sinister?  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(21)
		Scientists solve mystery of boulders that move when no one's looking. Captain, over here - I found something. AAAAAAAAH  (livescience.com)	(33)

		$uspect $ucce$$fully rob$ bank but leave$ behind $omething really important  (chicagotribune.com)	(44)
		New York Post columnist who suggested that the Brooklyn Nets be renamed to the New York N*****s, with a pistol as their logo, wonders if there was something he shouldn't have said  (nymag.com)	(84)
		"A prostitution bust is not something I want on my record," said accounting student Adrian Caesar, 25 - Forgetting how this whole interweb works  (nypost.com)	(80)

Mila Kunis tops The Sun's World's Sexiest Women poll. They might be on to something there  (thesun.co.uk)

(118)

(Some sister)		An interesting comparison of the Alien and Prometheus trailers  (tor.com)	(44)
		Senator demands an investigation into "meat glue," something that was settled months ago  (sun-sentinel.com)	(87)

(Bangkok Post)		Thai workers: "We need a 300-baht minimum daily wage next year." Thai official: "What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn baht man"  (bangkokpost.com)	(21)
		Documents recovered from the raid that killed Osama bin Laden show he wanted to rename Al Qaeda to something less identified with "failure after failure". Unfortunately for him, "Congress" was already taken  (openchannel.msnbc.msn.com)	(71)

		New Prometheus trailer is full of monsters. I'm not saying they're Aliens  (denofgeek.com)	(181)
		A small number of surviving veterans marked the 68th anniversary of the Anzio beach landing in Italy aboard the USS Mahan. Let's take a minute to salute what they've done before these 90-somethings are all gone  (wtkr.com)	(76)

NBC pulls its newest sitcom. No, not that one. Or that one. Something called Best Friends Forever  (hollywoodreporter.com)

(81)

Meth lab explodes in man's pants  (kansascity.com)

(77)

		NFL, NFLPA keep working to finalize method to prevent JaMarcus from ever happening again  (nfl.com)	(14)
		You still have the right to run through the streets naked and high on meth without being charged with a crime. USA USA USA  (clickondetroit.com)	(64)

		"Artist" constructs life-size mummy out of McDonald's food to make a point about modern society, or something  (gawker.com)	(30)
		Police officer crashes his patrol car, drives away, then calls dispatch because he can't change a tire. That's when his fellow officer saw the pot and meth  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)	(46)

Louis C.K. will have a sitcom on CBS. That's good. It will star something called "Ashley Tisdale". That's bad  (avclub.com)

(67)

		Murder suspect killed by passenger train. See, mass transit is good for something after all  (philly.com)	(36)
(GizMag)		From the man that brought you the wrist mounted crossbow and the fingertip flamethrower I give you the Blade Driver: a full sized, laser-sighted crossbow that fires spinning circular saw blades of DEATH  (gizmag.com)	(42)
		Still not a method actor  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(12)
		North Korea threatens to turn Seoul into "ashes in three or four minutes" using "unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style"  (google.com)	(238)

(Next Web)		The Next Web mentions FARK in its article on using a CSGT for a more efficient method of real time tracking of hot topics (6th paragraph)  (thenextweb.com)	(1)
(Some Guy)		Carey Mulligan, Moviestar, Marries Marcus Mumford, Musician. Mergers make much more money, methinks  (aceshowbiz.com)	(47)

To get your prepped four Arrested Development Season 4, here's video featuring all of Gob's failed magic tricks--ILLUSIONS, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money....or cocaine  (huffingtonpost.com)

(26)

		Good news, everyone: according to the Bible the Anti-Christ won't rule over America because America didn't exist in biblical times. Or something  (wnd.com)	(207)
		Rupert Murdoch's method to deal with bugging scandal? Bug Rebekah Brooks' office and have a team of reporters spy and try to dig up dirt on her. Excellent Smithers  (thestar.com)	(33)
		1) Rewrite SOPA, 2) Add a little something to the bill for the companies that opposed SOPA to begin with 3) Profit  (youtube.com)	(73)

(Some Guy)

Exercise lowers your risk of.....something   (greatfallstribune.com)

(2)

		Is predicting crime before it happens: (a) something out of Philip K. Dick's "Minority Report," (b) a DHS research project, (c) a terrible and dangerous idea, (d) all of the above?  (theatlantic.com)	(123)
(Film School Rejects)		The creative minds behind Prometheus want you to meet David. Michael Fassbender seems to be a good choice, considering he pulled a Michelangelo's David with his last film and let it all hang out  (filmschoolrejects.com)	(70)
		I don't know what the hell a yob is, but 100 of them went on a rampage at a McDonald's in France or something  (dailymail.co.uk)	(107)

		North American predator loss leaves Aliens unchecked, Santorum pulls out, and Best Buy CEO bones something other than his company: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/8 - 4/14  (fark.com)	(8)
		Use the five S's to keep your baby calm during immunizations: Sedatives, Sarcasm, um, Salad.... uh, Six-packs, and Something else. OW  (usatoday.com)	(26)
		President Obama says something that every man, woman, and child in this nation can agree with, will now win 2012 election by a landslide  (freep.com)	(189)
		Tips for aspiring thieves: 1) Bring a getaway car so you don't have to steal one when cops are running after you, 2) leave your bong at home, and 3) take something more valuable than frozen fish  (blogs.tcpalm.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)		New I.T. software scans employee's emails for anything that might indicate they're about to do something against the company  (itworld.com)	(51)

Muslims and Methodists back UK college's plans for alcohol-free zones on campus because drinking is "evil". Farkers retort with proposal for free-alcohol zones on campus because drinking is "essential"  (telegraph.co.uk)

(127)

		Former Best Buy CEO Brian Dunn may have resigned for boning something other than his company  (startribune.com)	(36)
(Some Guy)		And now for something completely different: An impartial, unbiased, and thorough article by ExxonMobil concludes that petroleum is the best fuel for cars  (exxonmobilperspectives.com)	(34)

Obama "We tried free markets. It didn't work." Now we are going to try something else  (realclearpolitics.com)

(291)

		Titanic is out of print on DVD and retailing for $50, which is apparently a nationwide crisis or something  (npr.org)	(72)
		For the first time since her divorce, Kim Kardashian does something almost worth media attention: wear a small bikini  (dailymail.co.uk)	(101)
		Your meth lab isn't going to stay hidden for long if you start flinging chemicals at your girlfriend  (tampabay.com)	(6)

(Some Guy)		Today's "Meth lab found in a Wal-Mart restroom" brought to you by Boaz, Alabama  (gadsdentimes.com)	(81)
		I always thought nude ferry riots were something you would see at Burning Man  (thesun.co.uk)	(46)
		Sales soar for final print version of Encyclopaedia Britannica as students discover something to copy more reliable than Wikipedia  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(85)

		Meth head fuel tanker driver who led cops on 20 mile long, high speed chase, gets sentenced to doing 55. In other news: Apparently you can get a job driving a fuel tanker with 5 previous felony convictions. w/ meth head mugshot goodness  (tulsaworld.com)	(36)
		Vermont town finally discovers something on which Obama won't spend money  (radio.foxnews.com)	(71)

		PETA purchases personalized brick at new baseball stadium that contains hidden message. Subby can't believe he's actually impressed by something PETA did  (610wiod.com)	(251)
(Some Guy)		Today's random image of Jesus showing up on something is brought to you by South Carolina and a dead stingray. No not a Chevy the other kind  (doubtfulnews.com)	(72)
		And now for something completely different: here's two politicians who don't know anything about Twitter arguing about Twitter  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(90)
		How bad can meth and hookers mess you up? How about going from Sheriff of the Year to being locked up in the jail they named after you?  (foxnews.com)	(52)

		If Draw Something had been a PC game in the 90s. Subby would have got laid even less for starters  (shortlist.com)	(30)
		Molson Coors buys Czech brewer StarBev, still trying to produce something almost, but not quite, entirely unlike beer  (chicagotribune.com)	(13)

(onlineathens)		Native Americans used a method of dramatically shaping trees in order to mark trails and other important landmarks. Many of these trees, bent 90 degrees and running parallel to the ground, are being rediscovered today  (onlineathens.com)	(40)
		24 year old woman arrested after meth was found in her car with her kids inside. On the plus side, she's a shoo-in to make this year's "Faces Of Meth" pictorial  (wftv.com)	(82)

		Taco Mac shows how to alter a customer's receipt without saying something insulting  (gizmodo.com)	(92)
		I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen  (guardian.co.uk)	(26)
		Today is the 40th anniversary of the first Major League Baseball players' strike and the 20th anniversary the National Hockey League Players' Association first-ever strike. In honor, go refuse to do something  (abcnews.go.com)	(15)
		New York medical examiners deny losing woman's brain, explaining that it was just mislabeled "Abby" something  (news.com.au)	(44)

		Sometimes the headlines just write themselves: "Pop-and-son pillbilly snowbirds driving stolen methmobile"   (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(36)
		You know how GOP comentators have been ragging on the ladies pretty hard lately? Well, something kinda predictable has happened  (content.usatoday.com)	(393)

		New kind of pseudoephedrine can be used to make shake-and-bake black sludge. Now we'll have an epidemic of angry addicts who can't make meth  (stltoday.com)	(111)
		The Rise Of Draw Something. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you draw 'dead'  (shortlist.com)	(36)
(Inquirer)		Catholic school prevents girl from joining her class graduation after she burned down the entire school while doing meth and having sex with two teachers. Just kidding, it's because she posted pics of herself in a bikini on Facebook  (newsinfo.inquirer.net)	(112)
		TV producer notices something important missing from the endless parade of reality shows: Beer  (kansascity.com)	(47)
(The Chive)		Step 1: Print out photo of yourself doing something strange. Step 2: Bring to local Walmart or other store that sells picture frames, & replace existing stock photos. Step 3: Take pic as evidence & upload. Step 4: Lulz  (thechive.com)	(64)

Woman calls 911, reporting she's "lost in the woods" and doesn't know where to pee. Or, as they call it in Florida, high on meth in her front yard with a gun and a cooler of beer  (wtsp.com)

(47)

		Ever get a sinking feeling that Venice could be called something else besides "Queen of the Adriatic," the "City of Water," "City of Bridges," "The Floating City," or the "City of Canals"?  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(109)
		Five creepy modern parenting fads: Want to worship your child as part of the coming of a new, superior race? Maybe you'd prefer to "train up" your less-than-one year old baby with a tree branch? Truly something for everyone  (cracked.com)	(145)

Chicago Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith suspended five games for doing something that everyone wishes they could do  (espn.go.com)

(45)

		When your firing is protested by Planned Parenthood and Texans For Life, you know you may have done something right  (rawstory.com)	(105)
		So you've got an extra 50 bucks hanging around - do you: a.) use it to buy yourself something nice; b.) put it in the bank; or c.) use it to give Dina Lohan a call on the new 'celebrity hotline'?  (starpulse.com)	(26)
		Not content with inventing the wrap sandwich, Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine creates something new: complaining about a tie game in spring training  (espn.go.com)	(52)

		Verizon to customer: "Say buddy, that's a real quaint little dial-up plan ya got there. Sure would be a shame if somethin' bad were to happen to it. Y'know, like some sort of outage or somethin' at a bad time"  (consumerist.com)	(39)
		Today's random image of Jesus showing up on something besides toast is brought to you by some woman and her power meter  (wtsp.com)	(69)
(Dacula Patch)		Disgruntled Craigslist buyer shoots up seller's home with "hand guns" while "saying something in Spanish"  (dacula.patch.com)	(45)

According to an estimate by Congress' official tax analysts, the "Buffett rule" tax on the rich would raise just $31b over 11 years. Or something like just another Tuesday of the defense budget  (washingtonpost.com)

(224)

		Post a picture of something you made. It could be anything, as long as you made it  (fark.com)	(632)
		Three new videos released for Prometheus, the movie Charlize Theron says is "the prequel to Thelma and Louise"  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(97)
		"I could feel her breath on me. I've never been so terrified in my life. I guess by instinct I rolled over so she wouldn't hurt something vital. I didn't know what she was going to do and then the bear bit me in my butt"  (articles.orlandosentinel.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		Mass Effect 3 apologizes to its Facebook friends that Mass Effect 3 posted something about how it's not going to change the ending, it probably just left the window open for its kids or cats or something  (gamepur.com)	(530)
		"Hey Earl, whut you think this suitcase thang is with all these wires hangin' out of it?" "I dunno Cletus, mebbe we should call the police." "We are the police, Earl. Here, hold my beer, I wanna try something"  (wrcbtv.com)	(38)
		John McCain says Republicans need to "get off" the issue of birth control and "respect the right of women to make choices." If only this guy would run for President, or something  (huffingtonpost.com)	(101)

Who will live? Who will die? Will they finally get off the godawful farm and actually do something? It's your Walking Dead season 2 finale discussion thread. The brain-chomping action starts at 8PM Central on AMC  (bostonherald.com)

(673)

(Some Guy)		Epic new trailer for Prometheus. No, that doesn't look like Alien at all  (filmschoolrejects.com)	(307)
		Roger Ebert finally bows to blogosphere pressure, pans a Nicolas Cage movie. "Attempting to find something to praise, I am reduced to this: Cage's performance is not boring"  (rogerebert.suntimes.com)	(36)

Coolest time lapse video you'll see all day. Yeah, it's a couple months old, but I'm pretty sure it'll be the best two minutes you've ever spent watching something other than porn online  (youtube.com)

(25)

Engineers design Chevy Volt concept car with streaming video, should give driver and passengers something to do while they wait for arrival of tow truck  (content.usatoday.com)

(34)

		Now there's something you don't see every day; a stolen school bus with flat tires tearing down the highway with police in pursuit  (abc2news.com)	(17)
(Red State)		Let's take a stroll down memory lane to a time when the totally awesome B-RAWK Obama was going to do something about high gas prices and oil company profits  (redstate.com)	(162)
		Finally, somebody thinks LinkedIn is useful for something  (money.cnn.com)	(35)

(Some Guy)		Police find a body under a man's mobile home, say it's suspicious. Oh, c'mon -- that's not fair. It's not like the guy was already in jail for robbing a pizza place with a machete or something, is it? Oh, wait  (gazette.com)	(29)
		Former WV Sheriff & county clerk plead guilty to voter fraud. "We knew something was wrong, because the post office closes at 4:30 ... you don't go to the post office at 9 o'clock at night and find ballots"  (foxnews.com)	(113)
		Somehow, even something as boring as drifting is kinda neat when you're using RC cars  (youtube.com)	(19)

		Super PAC run by former Rep. Dick Armey (R-TX) running ads against Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) for voting to raise the debt ceiling, something Armey did five times when he was in office  (thinkprogress.org)	(28)
		Man, late for court on a meth possession charge, racks up $2,000 worth of speeding tickets in just one hour. Amateur  (wrcbtv.com)	(34)
		Sheriff Arapio would like to prove that Obama was born in Kenya, but he can't because of missing records so that proves Obama's records are false or something  (wnd.com)	(163)

		Fight attendants say electronic devices are now the number one cause of unruly behavior by passengers who can't understand how they can flummox a 747-8 Intercontinental with something they bought at Radio Shack  (nypost.com)	(379)
		Something old, something new, something borrowed, something something restraining order  (seattlepi.com)	(13)
		Mitt Romney would like to suggest to his rivals that, gosh, it's gonna be really hard to get enough delegates to compete in the end so maybe, you know, you people should just consider, I dunno, dropping out of the race or something?  (washingtonpost.com)	(50)
		Florida finally does something about a huge problem plaguing society. No, not prescription drug abuse. Imprisoned pregnant women in labor making a break for it  (mysuncoast.com)	(23)

		Whoa, the campaign to stop Joseph Kony just took off overnight. Did I miss something? Is all this attention due to that new video? Is that really what it takes to raise awareness these days?  (huffingtonpost.com)	(163)
		Rev. Jane Florence of First United Methodist Church in Omaha: "It's a disgrace when Scripture is used to exclude and condemn and marginalize people"  (omaha.com)	(206)
		Something called a Kreayshawn has revealed that it is bisexual. Presumably in order to help inform you about said Kreayshawn  (starpulse.com)	(69)

		Peter Gabriel uses the pull out method with Rush Limbaugh  (hitfix.com)	(97)
(Some Guy)		The actual most astounding fact of the universe is that Neil DeGrasse Tyson is smarter and more profound than subby. Or something about how the universe is inside us  (slyoyster.com)	(84)
		Meth lab explosion reveals meth lab. In a nursing home  (blog.cleveland.com)	(46)

		Scarlett Johansson to do naked something something something  (movies.yahoo.com)	(119)
(Some Guy)		Police looking for stolen iPads seize 750 pounds of meth, with a street value of $34 million, or two months of AT&T data charges  (paloaltoonline.com)	(56)

		How marijuana impairs... something  (sciencedaily.com)	(80)
		"If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it, and I'll tell you what it is. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch." - The Republicans  (mediamatters.org)	(864)
(Some Guy)		Meth lab ingredients: Ephedrine...check. Iodine...check. Drain cleaner...check. Napalm...check  (pnj.com)	(46)

Idaho man pioneers new eviction method. Sure it tears down the house, and puts him in jail for the weekend, but if you've ever been a landlord you'll know this is worth it  (oregonlive.com)

(47)

		Meth lab explodes in bathroom on college campus. I'm guessing the culprit wasn't a chemistry major  (desmoinesregister.com)	(65)
		Nerdiest. Meth Dealer. Ever  (latimes.com)	(57)
		Meth addict arrested for setting Senator on fire  (msnbc.msn.com)	(114)

		Photoshop George Lucas ruining something from your childhood  (google.com)	(49)
		"If scheduling something motivates me to do tasks I would otherwise never get round to then why not schedule sex?" (w/ "let's cancel this appointment, honey" pics)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(280)
		Have you finished making payments on your iPad 2? Good, because have we got something for you  (engadget.com)	(151)
		Police in Alberta looking for rustlers. Cut throats, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, con men, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, bull dykes, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists disheartened  (torontosun.com)	(79)
		Police describe meth-lab blast as particularly violent. Apparently where they're from, most blasts are little fuzzy cuddly things and quite docile  (tulsaworld.com)	(15)

Nokia releases new Symbian smart phone with 41 megapixel camera. That vibrate mode must sure be something  (zdnet.com)

(35)

		If you're going to open up a community safe haven for children to go to after school where they can play games, make arts and crafts, and get homework help, can you name it something a little less creepy than 'Clown Town?'  (palmbeachpost.com)	(51)
		Everyone's excited over impending announcement of something huge. No, not the iPad, fanboys - I'm talking about MORE ADS ON FACEBOOK. Now that's exciting  (latimes.com)	(42)
		Ten crafty ways to use something called a newspaper around your home  (mnn.com)	(53)

(Some Guy)		Twenty gallons of meth with a street value of $10 million found at Taco Bell. Printer ink industry executives shrug, laugh, go back tossing $50,000 bricks of hundreds into their platinum and diamond-encrusted fireplaces  (dfw.cbslocal.com)	(111)
		New York man grows six inches through painful surgery, opting to forego the traditional method of "Sofia Vergara bikini pics"  (news.yahoo.com)	(86)
		Strange object with something inside falls down from space in Brazil  (english.pravda.ru)	(114)

		Apparently women are addicted to some website called Pederast or something  (washingtonpost.com)	(61)
		Doug Gottlieb talks, kid behind him says something else  (deadspin.com)	(5)
(Some Guy)		Where is the worst place to bake meth? c) in front of the most secure nuclear complex in the world  (wbir.com)	(57)

		Justice Ginsburg on SuperPACs: "Montana got it right, and that's really saying something"  (slate.com)	(171)
		Police are still unsure why he killed himself, but they're starting to think it may have had something to do with that other body he had in his garbage can  (970wfla.com)	(34)

(A Theater Near You)

Richard is a white supremacist down on his luck. Robert is a black inner-city gang member just looking to make it big. But this February, these enemies are about to learn some wacky new lessons about meth-cooking... and friendship  (newstribune.com)

(42)

Santorum: Public schools an "anachronism". That's "something or someone that is not in its correct historical or chronological time", for those of you who went to public schools  (dailykos.com)

(167)

The goggles, do something-something pretty cool actually  (news.yahoo.com)

(61)

Congress does something  (cnn.com)

(83)

		If you can think of something to do with 20,000 cubic yards of smashed bottles, the recycling capital of the US would like to talk to you  (katu.com)	(89)
		Important tip for police officers: if you shut off your dashboard cam so you can brutalize a suspect during arrest, make sure your lapel mike is also off when you tell them you are "just going to make something up" about their injuries  (abcnews.go.com)	(153)

Andrew Sullivan thinks that Obama hoodwinked the Bishops on the contraception issue after their Palin-powered mind rays failed to trick him. Or something. (Bonus: Picture of Chris Matthews responding exactly how one should to Andrew Sullivan)  (newsbusters.org)

(73)

(Some Guy)		Can't sleep. Must eat Pope in woods. And wear his hat. Or something  (adn.com)	(19)
		How to make a million off of your restaurant in the first year. Step 1: buy an old bank. Step 2: find hundreds of safety deposit boxes worth $1.7 million in the basement. Step 3: cook some burgers or something  (myfoxdc.com)	(64)

(medicalxpress.com)		Overeating may double risk of... something. I dunno. Pass the gravy  (medicalxpress.com)	(15)
		Something called MySpace announces it signed up 1 million new members in December. This could be the start of something big  (foxnews.com)	(80)
		Good morning, all. Here's 15 tons of pure meth  (shortlist.com)	(96)
		Slashdot covers Something Awful attacking Reddit over pseudo-child pornography. Subby sad at being unable to work 4Chan, Digg, icanhascheezburger and Fark into previous sentence  (yro.slashdot.org)	(123)

(Some Guy)

"The mining project gives Joe something to do during those long Saskatchewan winters" just about sums up this article  (autos.sympatico.ca)

(13)

		Rick Santorum believes that women should not be in combat because combat is stressful and they might, like, get all hysterical and emotional and maybe break a nail or something. Also, it's hard to get them pregnant in body armor  (washingtonpost.com)	(113)
		Are your dreams trying to tell you something, aside from the fact that sleep is where you're a viking?  (chicagotribune.com)	(78)

(Some Guy)		If you think doing your taxes by yourself is confusing, try getting them done at a tax business where somebody put meth in the company coffee  (billingsgazette.com)	(44)
(Great Falls Tribune)		If you ever drop your weed by the side of the road let it go, because man, it's gone, and the cops will find the methadone, opiates and benzodiazepines in your car and bloodstream when they stop to see what you're looking for  (greatfallstribune.com)	(33)
		Something really gets lost when one translates the whole "jive talking" scene from Airplane into French. You dig, le honkey?  (iheartchaos.com)	(20)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop this already strange chair and person into something, well, stranger  (contemporist.com)

(22)

Just your run of the mill drag race.... until Mr. DUI has something to say about it  (youtube.com)

(65)

		Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico  (latino.foxnews.com)	(112)
(savannah now)		When at a gun show, don't point a weapon at something you don't intend to shoot. That includes your leg  (savannahnow.com)	(152)
		Student in trouble for using Old Spice deodorant spray flamethrower to set special ed student on fi...wait, they still have spray deodorant?  (wtsp.com)	(118)

(Some Guy)		Sure, we've all sped when we were running late for work. It's just that most of us didn't have weed and meth on us, nor did we decide to start a fight with the cops who stopped us  (dailycommercial.com)	(10)
		My Father always told me, "If you're doing something that will make you wanted by the police, remember not to ask the police if you're wanted"  (chicagotribune.com)	(14)

(Some Steampunk Guy)		The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing have been blamed for something. Now that's what I call irony  (roarrock.co.uk)	(39)
		Constitutional "Scholars" in Washington state proposed a bill that would forbid the state government from using any legal tender other than gold and silver coins. At last, those commemorative 9/11 coins will finally be worth something  (thinkprogress.org)	(113)
		US Army develops new method for dealing with overweight soldiers: injecting them with more fat  (wired.com)	(66)
		Classic TV locations get turned into moody pieces of art. Something wicked is coming for Moe's Tavern  (shortlist.com)	(8)

		John thought he could casually walk into the supermarket, pour bleach on the chicken and pork, and slip out without anyone noticing. But something - SOMETHING - made him stand out (w/ mugshot goodness)  (myfoxdc.com)	(121)
(Some Guy)		Just because your grandmother snuck you a shot of brandy when you were a kid doesn't mean you need to give yours Methadone and Nyquil  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(23)

		Sheriff Joe Arpaio's offices evacuated because something white and powdery was found there other than Sheriff Joe Arpaio  (news.yahoo.com)	(70)
		There are six primary methods of eliminating potential challengers with the tacit cooperation of the mainstream media, and they have been in full display this primary season  (americanthinker.com)	(167)
		Once again demonstrating the great man's vise-like grip on the blindingly obvious, Pat Buchanan says Reagan saw Gingrich as "something of a political opportunist"  (news.yahoo.com)	(32)
		Change one word from the title of movie or TV show that it sounds like it could be something shown on late night Showtime or Cinemax  (fark.com)	(422)

		Massive car wreck looks like something out of a bad disaster movie  (latimes.com)	(141)
		Six hugely successful products originally invented for something else. Behold the wonderful mysteries of Listerine  (mentalfloss.com)	(47)

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