Headlines matching 'men'
Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Winning: The American public's dependence on the federal government shot up 23% in just two years under President Obama, with 67 million now relying on some federal program (news.investors.com)
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Man barricades himself in apartment after concluding that someone stole and ate his chicken meal (blog.sfgate.com)
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Chicago learns the hard way that elementary school children can sneak gang symbols into contest artwork just like adults can (chicagotribune.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chicago Tribune pulls "Doonesbury" strip for being too edgy and political. Oh wait, it just mentioned a charity that helps public schools (dailycartoonist.com)
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| (q13fox.com) |
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I-N-T-E-S-T-I-N-A-L I-L-L-N-E-S-S breaks out at cheerleading tournament (q13fox.com)
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| (Beauty and Style) |
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Men are really stupid and need to be told what to carry by a fashion editor. For example, did you know that "pens are convenient for noting a phone number"? (beautyandstyle.com)
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The cast and crew of Two and a Half Men are recovering from an overdose that occurred yesterday while celebrating Ashton Kutcher's birthday. (pic) (bittenandbound.com)
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If Simon Cowell calls you the male Susan Boyle, you may or may not want to consider that a compliment (dailystar.co.uk)
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Sports-talk host refers to ex-WNBA player as a 'beast', 'monster' and 'sasquatch of a woman. "I cannot confirm for you that she has been a woman her entire life." Unemploymentarity ensues (nbcsandiego.com)
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| (Arms and the Law) |
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We couldn't get him to eat his own mother, but forcing Rahm Emanuel to write a check to the Second Amendment Foundation is the next best thing. Your tears, Rahm. Let me taste them (armsandthelaw.com)
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Everyone's lovable sex loving ape turns out to be a paedomorph, and guess what? Scientists theorize it was because of their women (wired.com)
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| (The Hindu) |
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TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped (thehindu.com)
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Tue February 07, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Farkette Elizabeth (FL) is trying to win a trip to Europe and become an ambassador for America's next generation of women pilots. She's currently trailing by only 100 votes. Click the Video Contest tab to vote (womenofaviationweek.org)
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Judge orders man to go on a date with his wife. Man expected to file lawsuit alleging infringement of his 8th Amendment rights (sun-sentinel.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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What happens when Kentucky fans invade South Carolina during basketball season? One fan documents the experience with pics, vids, and ridiculous commentary (ramblingbeachcat.com)
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Speaking of movies, which new movie do you think you'll see this weekend: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Safe House, The Vow, or Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D (fark.com)
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Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family (hosted.ap.org)
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So just how bad was Pete Hoekstra's "yellow menace" Superbowl ad? Let's put it this way: John Pinnette's famous impression of a Chinese buffet owner was probably more culturally sensitive (politico.com)
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Wowsers, how awesome were those January jobs numbers? So awesome that if we doubled them, and then kept that rate of job growth every month until 2024, why, we'd be back to full employment (slate.com)
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Will Santorum surge sap Romney's momentum? Will Gingrich give up and move on to a younger, more attractive state? And what the hell is up with RON PAUL? It's your official Minnesota caucus thread (businessweek.com)
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Gingrich's spokesman edits wikipedia page to remove all mention of Newt's marriages, ethics violations, and add important facts about his balancing the budget, defeating communisism, and killing Osama Bin Laden with his giant penis (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Family of jogger killed by drunk driver circulate petition to ban drinking on beach, reenact 18th Amendment (mysuncoast.com)
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Mitt Romney comes out from under his rock to prove just how out of touch he really is: in the battle of Komen vs. Planned Parenthood, he's still rooting for Komen (mercurynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Maria Menounos lost a Superbowl bet. Who won? Everyone who clicks the link (thebiglead.com)
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Mon February 06, 2012
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Herbicide 'Atrazine' associated with birth defects, low birth weights, and menstrual problems in humans. Study leads to instant ban. Just kidding, it's still the second-most commonly used herbicide in the US (io9.com)
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Police: Hand over your password. Woman: No, 5th amendment. Court months later: No, hand over your password. Woman: Fine. The password is... um... uhhhh (wired.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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NJ bill would require kids to stay in school until age 18, leaving those who actually graduate when they are 17 in an awkward predicament (nbcphiladelphia.com)
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Question: Why have college tuitions gone up? Joe Biden Answer: Government subsidies like the ones President Obama wants to expand (realclearpolitics.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"The burrito's rightful owner walked up to the men and said he wanted his burrito back" (kob.com)
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Susan Komen foundation hiring Ari Fleischer to rebuild trust, dispel charges of partisanship. What a bunch of boobs (washingtonpost.com)
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Pey Pey says he'll restructure his contract with requirement that he is able to throw a ball, so long as he's still paid as much as everyone else on the team... combined. How big of him (sun-sentinel.com)
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Fear Factor twins who drank donkey semen have been offered the opportunity to swallow some of the human variety (tmz.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Restaurant owner faces $5,000 judgment for starting gay rumor about customer (wisconsingazette.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Be on the lookout for the missing Department of Corrections offenders; all 30,000 of them (610wiod.com)
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Infected cruise ship pulls out of port after being cleaned. Personally, I blame the infection on bad seamen (sun-sentinel.com)
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Sixteen super PAC-men and their positions on the Forbes 400 (cbsnews.com)
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| (Brown from the Sun) |
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Photoshop these two men and their Munsters (s3.amazonaws.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Porn stars, gay men, and serial killers gather for world's first known Mustache Film Festival (pressherald.com)
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Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Last week: Tennessee state senator claims that AIDS was the result of one guy who had sex with a monkey and then had sex with other guys. Let's run it through PolitiFact's Truth-o-Meter and...uh oh, call the fire department (politifact.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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New experiment will force creationist arguments to evolve (tgdaily.com)
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Komen reverses funding change due to it not having broad appeal (npr.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Cry me a freaking river," says Komen's new CEO about totally coincidental new policy to defund groups beginning with 'P' and rhyming with "bland parenthood" (jezebel.com)
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Hackers managed to direct users to a dummy website where readers saw, "Help us run over poor women on our way to the bank." Susan G. Komen gets pwned (nydailynews.com)
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Researchers say men become nicer, kinder, more caring when a beautiful woman is nearby. Well, duh (dailymail.co.uk)
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The Decemberists have withdrawn their support of the Susan G. Komen foundation, Nicholas I (rollingstone.com)
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Indiana lawmakers pass last-minute legislation making it more difficult for thousands of men to find hookers for the Super Bowl (foxnews.com)
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Susan G. Komen: Defunding Planned Parenthood was not politically motivated but a new policy against donating to organizations under investigation. Media: What about the $7.5M you gave Penn State? Susan G. Komen: *crickets* (motherjones.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Susan Komen Foundation introduces pink handguns to promote Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Really (wisconsingazette.com)
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Woman holding baby gets into argument over rent with boyfriend. After boyfriend douses woman in lighter fluid and sets her on fire, woman throws baby out window, where it is caught by attentive neighbors. The Aristocrats (nydailynews.com)
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'Liberal' leaning Fark gets mentioned in a WAAY TV story about Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill and his controversial statements (waaytv.com)
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Phil Mickelson is suing to find out the real names of people that posted nasty comments about him and his wife on the internet. Personally I heard it was Mike Hawk and Harry Sack (utsandiego.com)
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Woman who slept with 1,000 men reveals: "I was born a man" (w/pics) (thesun.co.uk)
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Thu February 02, 2012
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Susan G. Komen foundation says the whole Planned Parenthood thing is a just a silly misunderstanding and to please not stop sending them money and don't boycott their sponsors (content.usatoday.com)
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| (Some Girl) |
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Komen for the Cure goes full derp, halts funding for stem cell research (lifenews.com)
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John Boehner (R) claims providing co-pay free birth control to women is unconstitutional (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Mayor Bloomberg to Personally Donate $250,000 to Planned Parenthood in Wake of Komen Controversy (politicker.com)
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Worst job in Science: These physicians injected an average of 20.5 cc using "a back-and-forth technique" into the deep soft tissue layers of the penises of 50 men. The product was then 'homogenized with a roller.' (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)
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Susan G. Komen Foundation's top public health official resigns over new anti-Planned Parenthood policy (theatlantic.com)
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They've managed to make a trailer for The Phantom Menace that makes the film look even worse than it is. Check out the voiceover work on this one (denofgeek.com)
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I could be wrong, but I believe that this resort advertisement has been Photoshopped (boingboing.net)
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Academy Award nominee John Hawkes + Elmore Leonard's "The Switch" = pure awesomeness (comingsoon.net)
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| (Some Guy) |
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US Women's Soccer player Ella Masar opens up about the WPS "magicjack" team, including having to call the owner "Daddy" and the team having a chiropractor because he didn't believe in athletic trainers (pitchsidereport.com)
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A study in how to ruin a brand in 48 hours. HP, Netflix and now the Susan G. Komen Foundation (dailykos.com)
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Sen. Mike Lee thinks President Obama using his constitutional power to make recess appointments is exactly like the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor and killing 2400 Americans (thinkprogress.org)
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| (Some Sappy Byproduct) |
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Crude tall oil gets the nod for biodiesel production. Well mannered short oil politely declines comment (yle.fi)
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Problem: Newt Gingrich needs to woo women voters. Solution: RELEASE THE CALLISTAKEN (dailymail.co.uk)
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Pro-tip: If you're going to submit legislation given to you by a shady, secretive lobbying group, then it may be a good idea to remove said lobbying group's mission statement from the legislation text first (dailykos.com)
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Under Obama, government spending has declined at the steepest rate since the 1970s (theatlantic.com)
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Former star of Home Improvement busted on drug possession charges. Nope, not him. Not him, either (nydailynews.com)
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Wed February 01, 2012
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Colorado's biggest embarrassment since the 1997 Denver Nuggets endorses Rick Santorum. In other news, Rick Santorum is evidently still running for president (denverpost.com)
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The FBI likes to intimidate suspects by using a chainsaw to go through apartment doors, a technique that's especially intimidating when they saw through the wrong door (thedailybeast.com)
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Twelve reasons why NBC is a last place network. Come for their shiatty treatment of "Community," stay for their adoration of Dane Cook and Whitney Cummings (warmingglow.uproxx.com)
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Dinosaurs that can't hit a chip shot, a note from Epstein's mother, and the crisp, refreshing taste of donkey semen: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 1/22 - 1/28 (fark.com)
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At least 73 people dead and scores injured as rivals clash in Egypt. Against the government? No, football (aljazeera.com)
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House GOP has Oscar nominated journalist arrested. RIP 1st Amendment (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Steampunk Guy) |
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The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing have been blamed for something. Now that's what I call irony (roarrock.co.uk)
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DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters (nytimes.com)
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Anthrax mailings, once the tool of domestic terrorists, are now being used by wannabe rappers and apartment hunters (slate.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The "electability" argument is bankrupt on both philosophical and practical grounds. It destroys the party's soul and guarantees defeat (spectator.org)
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Asinine tag trumps Boobies tag as the Susan G. Komen Foundation decides to combat breast cancer by cutting off funding for breast cancer screening (washingtonpost.com)
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Constitutional "Scholars" in Washington state proposed a bill that would forbid the state government from using any legal tender other than gold and silver coins. At last, those commemorative 9/11 coins will finally be worth something (thinkprogress.org)
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"Spiffy," said Tom, "I have invented the phonograph. Now businessmen can send each other brief messages in pneumatic tubes, which I call the Internets." "Now, Slave, fetch me a recording of Bismarck" (telegraph.co.uk)
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Police seize 1500 pounds of pot from NY apartment, estimate its street value at $7.5 million. Dude, $5000 a pound? In New York? Must have been some crappy stuff (foxnews.com)
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Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Michelle Bachmann has campaign debt. Mitt Romney has lots of money. Romney wants Bachmann's endorsement. What happens next? (boston.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Scientists now able to reconstruct words from thoughts. Subject D. Curtis' experiment results reveal "sex sex beer beer sex beer boobies beer boobies sex sex boobies beer sex beer boobies sex beer boobies" occurs 500 times a minute (news.sciencemag.org)
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For those keeping track of the dissolution of the Occupy movement, you can now cross Miami off your list (upi.com)
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Women abandon Newt for a younger and prettier candidate (news.yahoo.com)
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Fear Factor producers put gag order on donkey-semen drinking women (nydailynews.com)
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Nokia Siemens Networks to ejaculate 2,900 workers (townhall.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Federal Government would like to charge pro weed Montana state lawmakers as "conspirators" to sell and distribute medical marijuana (missoulian.com)
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Dust off all the usual comments, it's time for today's hot teacher with teen student story. Seriously, can we get a tab for these? (mcall.com)
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Women reveal their "morning face" and OMG KILL THEM WITH FIRE (w/pics) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue January 31, 2012
Mon January 30, 2012
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Baffled homeowner finds man on his porch at 2:30 AM screaming that his house is possessed. Creepy red-eyed pig refuses comment (tampabay.com)
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The entire cast of Arrested Development has signed on to star in the Netflix continuation of the series. There's always money in nostalgia. And the banana stand (huffingtonpost.com)
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WPS to cancel its 2012 season because of legal wrangling with an ex-owner, not because it is Women's Professional Soccer (espn.go.com)
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| (Richmond Times-Dispatch) |
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Virginia is for lovers: Instead of killing bill to require an ultrasound before an abortion, Democratic State Senator amends it instead: UFIA for guys wanting ED treatment (www2.timesdispatch.com)
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New Gingrich ad suggests that America is headed down the same path as Cuba with their government-run inexpensive health care for all citizens. ¡Viva la Revolución (washingtonpost.com)
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LOLWUT? Obama's Al Green karaoke moment helped save economy (thedc.com)
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| (Kitsap Sun) |
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Drunk 21 year old enters wrong apartment, climbs into bed with 80 year old woman. He told police nothing happened, at least nothing he wanted to admit (kitsapsun.com)
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Colts owner on Peyton Manning's future with the team. "I can't be sentimental. This isn't fantasy football" (content.usatoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Some women collect doilies, others collect cats. This one collects Barbra Streisand (wtae.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Protip: when you go to pick up your ten kilogram shipment of cocaine, you should probably wait until you're off duty. And out of your uniform. And not driving your patrol car (todaysthv.com)
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Reminder: When using a government computer network, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy regarding any communications (washingtonpost.com)
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I know it sounds a corny and a bit nutty, but scientists have developed a special type of bacteria that changes the color of human excrement to let them know exactly what ails you (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Another Club Med closes, narrowing the list of vacation destinations for balding, hairy-backed men hoping to get invited to a swinger party as they wander about the beach sucking down pina coladas while in the full throes of a mid-life crisis (couriermail.com.au)
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From the "This Will Not End Well" Department: Scientists make human brain cells using the skin of schizophrenic patients (news.com.au)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Writer tries to justify why he enjoys listening to the grunts of women tennis players. "I'm not a pervert who gets a cheap thrill from the loud shrieks" (asiaone.com)
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CEO of government-owned bank decides he doesn't need that £963,000 bonus after all, would rather not go through life with everyone in the country hating his guts (bbc.co.uk)
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CNN graphics department doesn't know where London is (mirror.co.uk)
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To the left: Muppets commenting on Fox News. To the right: Oh Snap and Burn pictures (youtube.com)
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Fisticuffs at Cowboy BBQ: "The argument began over whether food was done cooking, with the cook saying it wasn't done and that he would cook it until it was" (helenair.com)
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Sun January 29, 2012
Sat January 28, 2012
Fri January 27, 2012
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According to scientists, some women can store sperm for years. Your mom finds that a little hard to swallow (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Irsay and Manning issue joint statement. "Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?" (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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Will Egypt's Boobies-revolution parliament make a difference? (guardian.co.uk)
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| (Say Cheese) |
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Man steals security cameras, neglects to steal the recording equipment (turnto23.com)
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I would say that "a sex game spiralled out of control" is quite an understatement when it involves one of the partners being cooked, and scattered around the apartment (thelocal.de)
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Mentally retarded man fired from a grocery store for "stealing" $0.20 has been offered his job back, though he's not sure he wants to work for the kind of dicks who would fire a retarded man over twenty cents (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The GOP debates have outlasted Firefly and Arrested Development (badassdigest.com)
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CEO of government-backed bank: "Due to uproar over use of tax payer money for bonuses, I've rescinded my £1m bonus." Fails to mention he's getting a £.9m bonus as a replacement (independent.co.uk)
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The Windy City blows for employment (chicagotribune.com)
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NBC considers pulling stunt from upcoming Fear Factor episode claiming it's in bad taste. Well duh, everybody knows donkey semen tastes like ass (tmz.com)
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| (Some Estonian) |
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Minister who deleted Facebook comments on his page about ACTA claims he did it because he was 'running out of space' (empirechronicles.co.uk)
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"I've had sex with 1000 men, and I don't care if people judge me," says woman who apparently has sex with a lot of drunk men (mirror.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Russian officials want to outlaw political protests that use soft toys, plastic penguins, Lego men and South Park figures (couriermail.com.au)
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Accidental slide deployment delays Virgin Airline flight for several fun-filled hours. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com)
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The unemployment in Spain falls mainly on the plain (bloomberg.com)
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Ubuntu to use HUD instead of menus. Still no cure for Unity (zdnet.com)
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"It was more of a political statement ... It's not like they were going to go out and shoot the president," said the cop photographed alongside several teenagers with guns posing next to a bullet-ridden Barack Obama T-shirt (myfoxdc.com)
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Drew Carey splits with fiancee after a five year engagement. *sad trombone music* (people.com)
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PSA: If you stamp your cocaine shipments with the symbol of the UN in an attempt to get them past customs without inspection, there's a good chance they may get delivered to UN headquarters (bbc.co.uk)
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Thu January 26, 2012
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Why the sizes of women's clothing are meaningless and have gone insane (slate.com)
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Hillary Clinton quitting government after the election ... until 2016, of course (washingtonpost.com)
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Catholic university in Chicago apparently not happy with bizarre, baseball obliterates cartoon moon sports recruitment video they asked for (redeyechicago.com)
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After you've been busted for injecting Super Glue into women's butts, the next logical career move is to get attacked on-stage by the victims' parents during a taping of a trashy TV show (sun-sentinel.com)
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Not News: The Vatican denounced for "corruption and mismanagement". News: by the Archbishop who used to be in charge of running its finances Fark: and the Pope canned him for speaking up (news.yahoo.com)
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| (International Business Times UK) |
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You ever have a moment when a rousing political speech seems like it's plucked straight out of a movie?.....Well sometimes it's worth checking (ibtimes.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Charlie Sheen says Two and a Half Men should end after this season. Even if it did, that would still be almost a decade too late (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Ladies and gentlemen, we are at DERPCON 1: Kirk Cameron is now writing for Breitbart (bighollywood.breitbart.com)
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German parliament email server defeated by blitz of "reply all" (thelocal.de)
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| (Miami New Times) |
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"Alcoholism is a sin too, but you don't see an alcoholic pride parade. Alcoholics hide in little rooms in basements and they go, 'Hi, I'm Fred.'" Gems from Victoria Jackson. Ms. Jackson if you're nasty (miaminewtimes.com)
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Fashion designers have their annual runaway fashiongasm, and the results are...well...um...people actually pay money for this crap? (w/pics of hot women in ugly clothes) (thedailybeast.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption this tense moment (media.zenfs.com)
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Need government help with that deadbeat ex-husband of yours not paying child support? Yep, there's a fee for that (upi.com)
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Wed January 25, 2012
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"In her application for a restraining order ... the girlfriend said the argument was sparked by a cat and an Estee Lauder skin-care product" (twincities.com)
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Did we mention that Mormons like to baptize dead Jews in order to "save" them? That shouldn't be a problem in Florida, should it? (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Couple steals 11 pregnancy tests, man's bond set at $400,000. If he thinks that's bad, wait until he sees the child support payments (ktre.com)
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| (SF Weekly) |
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A collection of James Franco's absurd moments on "General Hospital"... wait... that's still on? And didn't it used to have a hospital in it? (blogs.sfweekly.com)
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I think you know what I'm talking about, Ladies & Gentlemen. That's right: M*therF**kin Space Nazis (youtube.com)
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Thai thief caught with 10,000 pairs of women's underwear. Only 10,000? Amateur (canada.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In what is not in any way indicative of a pending attack on Iran, 15,000 US troops enter Kuwait to...spread merriment and joy... Subby will be in his bunker (liverpoolstudentmedia.com)
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Prized football recruit cannot sign with University of Georgia because (a) He didn't make good grades, (b) He started a fight at school, (c) his parents are undocumented Samoan immigrants (ajc.com)
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"The notion that this nation is one big team that acts collectively toward shared goals would be completely foreign to the men who founded it. But that is Obama's concept of America" (nationalreview.com)
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From the maker of "Corporations are people" meet "Well, the banks aren't bad people. They're just overwhelmed right now." Bank of America twirls it's Snidely Whiplash mustache as he nods in agreement (foxnews.com)
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Obama close to settlement with big banks where he finally puts the wood to them and anybody who actually believes that stopped reading and is again scattering rose petals before His Beloved Awesomeness (thenation.com)
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Great, now you won't be able to take random pictures of hot women's asses anywhere without being called a psychopath (nypost.com)
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| (Adam Smith) |
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History shows over and over that raising the capital gains rate actually lowers government revenues, while decreasing the capital gains rate increases government revenues. (pdf warning) (adamsmith.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Amusement park orders experts to redesign its new rollercoaster after dry runs smash limbs off dummies (news.sky.com)
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East Haven, CT Mayor responds to arrest of 4 police officers charged with profiling and harassment of Latinos with: A) Defense of officers B) Plan to redeem police force to Latino Community C) He will be eating tacos for dinner (With video) (blog.sfgate.com)
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Teenage boy died on his birthday evading six young women trying to give him kisses. It even says so on his headstone (gothamist.com)
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News reporter comments on a non-news story (language Not safe for work) (youtube.com)
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From the 'will replace the whale in your nightmares' department: Newt Gingrich eats Sarah Palin (guardian.co.uk)
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| (CBS Charlotte) |
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Three men attempt home invasion robbery with handgun, shotgun and sword, are fought back by homeowner and another resident who introduces them to his little friend. Or as they call it in South Carolina, Tuesday (charlotte.cbslocal.com)
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"Police seized a red-spitting cobra, a puff adder, a uracoan rattlesnake, two false cobras and a small alligator in the apartment." WHY WOULD YOU LIVE WITH SUCH THINGS? (sun-sentinel.com)
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200,000 years ago women were putting on red ochre lipstick and asking whether this cave bear hide gave them mammoth butts (physorg.com)
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Tue January 24, 2012
Mon January 23, 2012
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Judge rules that defendant MUST decrypt laptop so they can use it to incriminate her. Buh-bye Fifth Admendment (wired.com)
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"Polish government websites under apparent attack" Even after they upgraded their firescreen (businessweek.com)
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LAPD detective Phillp Vanatter, who led the OJ Simpson investigation, has died at age 70 from cancer. However, cancer released a statement today denying involvement in Vanatter's death and vowing to find the real killer (news.yahoo.com)
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The 101-year-old woman kicked out of her house, only to have the government step in on her behalf and say she could not be kicked out of her house, has been kicked out again. By the government (consumerist.com)
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New study debunks popular myth that women have higher threshold for pain, shows they're just drama queens who SAY the pain is much worse (sfgate.com)
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Governor Chris Christie says Newt Gingrich "has been an embarrassment for the Republican Party." Oh, the Romney campaign's going full scorched earth now, baby (mediaite.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Leather-clad vampiress defeats black airmen (empireonline.com)
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Fourteen albums that inexplicably went platinum. Like Baha Men's Who Let The Dogs Out (avclub.com)
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Scientists say falling asleep right after sex is a sign you're deeply in love. Best. Wingmen. Ever (dailymail.co.uk)
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Martina Navratilova questions Caroline Wozniacki's status as the No. 1 women's tennis player, criticizing ranking system. Navratilova then defiantly insisted she could lick Wozniacki anywhere, anytime (bloomberg.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's cool thing: Watch Amanda Palmer and the Dresden Dolls perform the Violent Femmes' debut album live in Tasmania with the help of a Bad Seed, one of PJ Harvey's sidemen and the Femmes' bassist (slicingupeyeballs.com)
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Elementary school finds novel way of encouraging students to excel: read well and you get to throw food at the principal (nwfdailynews.com)
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Gingrich said the $300,000 penalty he was ordered to pay by the House Ethics Committee was a reimbursement for the cost of the investigation, and that "on every single count, I was exonerated" (thinkprogress.org)
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Sun January 22, 2012
Sat January 21, 2012
Fri January 20, 2012
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Peyton Manning could be mulling over retirement, may seek new career as Dan Marino (msn.foxsports.com)
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Spiffy: Dutch girl becomes youngest sailor to circumnavigate the world. Fark: She can't return home because the government will prosecute her (today.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (UFC) |
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Can Melvin Guillard win a fight that matters? Will Jorge Rivera win his retirement fight? Can Pat Barry not get submitted? Its your UFC on FX thread. (6:00 ET for prelims on Fuel TV, 9:00 on FX for Main card) (ufc.com)
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Obama signs off on forcing health insurers to almost universally cover contraceptives in their plans. Insurance carriers to announce premium hikes to cover the high cost of women getting not pregnant (thinkprogress.org)
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| (The Skeptic) |
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The Skeptic thanks FARK for exposing the story of a faith healer who used unusual practices for treatment (skeptic.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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PC school board says cougar mascot offensive to women. Lisa Simpson conscientiously quibbles that technically it's a puma, which is more akin to the jaguar than to the mountain lion. Go, Puma Power (lasvegas.cbslocal.com)
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Mitt Romney last night: How dare you say I'm pro-choice, I have an endorsement from a pro-life group. Mitt Romney ten years ago: How dare you say I have an endorsement from a pro-life group, I'm pro-choice (dailykos.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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For those of us who watched every moment of the Al Franken recount saga online and have not yet found anything as gripping and exiting, I offer you the "Scott Walker Recall Ballot Scan Cam". Winter political excitement at its finest (twitter.com)
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Polish leader accused of totally bogarting during Parliament session (sfgate.com)
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Five St. Louis school buses missing. If five big yellow things appeared in your back yard, please mention it to police when you have the time. There's a picture in the article of what a school bus looks like (stltoday.com)
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Good news, pasty basement dwellers. If you can walk two flights of stairs without wheezing, you're healthy enough for sex (yourlife.usatoday.com)
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New report says one in five people suffer from mental illness, so look around you, if you see four mentally healthy people, it's you (nydailynews.com)
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Thu January 19, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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How long did the world's longest lab experiment take? Not even close (brisbanetimes.com.au)
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Woman in trouble for finding used horses a new home. In the meat department (philly.com)
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Newt may have just committed a felony by offering Palin a job for her endorsement. In his defense, he very rarely keeps promises he makes to women (dailykos.com)
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How Republicans killed their 2012 campaign centerpiece, investment portfolios (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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They both cause women's pants to fall down (wired.com)
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Police officer fired for gross misconduct after having sex with five women while on duty. *views pics* Yep, that's gross (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Politifact) |
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Romney warns the loss of 15 horse-calvary regiments since 1941 has left the nation vulnerable to bands of renegade native americans, hussars, and dragoons (politifact.com)
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| (Prague Monitor) |
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Man convinces healthy 22-year-old woman he can look through her eyes and can see a malignant tumor inside, persuades woman to provide $10,000 for treatment. After the young woman runs out of money, he starts to accept sex as payment (praguemonitor.com)
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1967 disappearance of Silk King explored. Sofa King unavailable for comment (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Witness at the center of the Pakistani 'memogate' may have his credibility damaged by a video that recently surfaced... Fark: of him acting as a commentator for a naked female wrestling bout (asiancorrespondent.com)
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Violinist on the Costa Concordia disapears when attempting to relive one of the last scenes of Titanic. Gentlemen, it's been an honor (nydailynews.com)
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Woman arrested for stealing more than 130 sticks of men's antiperspirant products. Police on lookout for woman smelling like football, bare-knuckle fights, and victory (tcpalm.com)
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Ancient find shows people have been bringing popcorn to arguments 1,000 years longer than previously thought (theregister.co.uk)
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Mitt Romney would be outraged that his high taxes were paying for the cushy government pensions of three other Republican presidential candidates (if he paid high taxes, that is). The only one to opt out? RON PAUL (businessweek.com)
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Out of work. Out of money. Out of health care. But still too proud to take government handouts. Take a look at the real face of the South Carolina voter, but then forget about him because he's not going to vote (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Half Naked Chick) |
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Apparently, the idea of posing for pics with half-naked chicks on the top of police cars hasn't gotten old for policemen in California (wtsp.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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An Infographic demonstrating how, for over 100 years, the entertainment industry has always called every innovation "dangerous," always tried to kill or regulate it, and always been totally and utterly wrong (addictinginfo.org)
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Carnival Cruises, the parent company to Costa, will offer the victims of the sunken liner a $500 voucher, $100 onboard credit for a future cruise and a complimentary "How To Make a Towel Animal" booklet (news.yahoo.com)
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Florida Department of Law Enforcement needs to test new Breathalyzers, but how? Buy a bunch of Jim Beam and Doritos and get the employees drunk, of course (heraldtribune.com)
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Wed January 18, 2012
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The producers of Farscape are making a Firefly-esque space-western with an MMO tie-in for Syfy. It was cancelled before they even finished the announcement (io9.com)
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Computerworld commends Fark for "protesting (SOPA) with a difference" (Slide #3) (computerworld.com)
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Religious leaders sign letter opposing gay marriage because if it were legal, they'd be seen "as bigots, subjecting them to the full arsenal of government punishments and pressures reserved for racists" (sltrib.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Because come on, when else is a women's cyclocross link going to go green? (velonews.competitor.com)
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Twitter and Facebook think that b*tch Google's new search 'enhancements' are lopsided, illegal (money.cnn.com)
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Dude, you're getting an insider trading indictment (news.yahoo.com)
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Well, since Drew is greening everything, Here's SHADOWS OF DAWN. The trans-dimensional thrash masters of the multiverse (youtube.com)
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What do you mean, MPAA and RIAA represented companies profited by distributing filesharing applications like Kazaa and Limewire, while simultaneously suing those companies for enabling infringement? Say it ain't so (youtube.com)
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White House announces it will reject Keystone Pipeline. John Boehner really wishes he had control over his investment portfolio right about now (washingtonpost.com)
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Romney: "Did I say that I paid 15%? I actually used a sophisticated series of off-shore financial instruments to avoid paying taxes altogether. I technically qualified for the earned income tax credit in 2008. My bad" (reuters.com)
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"Smoking object" thrown at White House during protest while Obamas were mere blocks away. It was an OWS protest, though, so let's not make any fast judgments or assumptions. Poor little scamp probably just wants to be loved (cnn.com)
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Occupy Wall Street movement converges on the West Lawn of the Capitol for massive rally, the largest national gathering of Occupy protesters to date. Reality: a couple of hundred show up (news.yahoo.com)
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TSA apologizes for strip searching elderly women...also, ugly women, men, women with small boobs, people with hideous disfiguring scars, and pets (nydailynews.com)
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FOX Business Channel: Captain abandoned cruise ship because of "union mentality" (mediamatters.org)
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Khloe Kardashian undergoes fertility treatments, should be producing adequate amounts of sperm in no time (today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Kentucky freshmen Anthony Davis breaks the school single season blocks record in only his 19th game. Duke sucks (sports.espn.go.com)
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SOPA officially a movement now. Has theme song (gizmodo.com)
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Police announce the two arrests in the killing of a soccer player. The airing of this announcement marked the most airtime the US media has given to anything soccer-related in more than six months (abcnews.go.com)
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Faced with lower investment returns, banks are trying a novel business model: lending (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)
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Tue January 17, 2012
Mon January 16, 2012
Sun January 15, 2012
Sat January 14, 2012
Fri January 13, 2012
 |
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Apparently, there can be such a thing as too much cowbell. At least, according to the Oshkosh Police Department (postcrescent.com)
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Cruise Ship Captain: "We're on a collision course, please divert 15 degrees North". Response: "Recommend you divert your course, this is a Lighthouse. Your call" (telegraph.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Dog saves owner's life from abusive boyfriend. Battered women's shelter takes in both. Spiffy tag standing in because Hero tag has something in its eye (lifewithdogs.tv)
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Japanese department store is very f*ckin' sorry about huge posters advertising massive f*ckin' sale (dailymail.co.uk)
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Newt Gingrich gets the coveted "Crazy writer who believes in the apocalypse and wrote a bunch of books about it " endorsement (dailycaller.com)
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Headline asks: "I like to watch women watch men fight. Am I normal?" Answer: No. You are not. Normal is being a man who likes to watch two oiled women fight in a tub of jello. While men watch (salon.com)
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New documents reveal Osama bin Laden was a huge American Idol fan. Proof positive that American Idol is a threat to American values (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Force a government shut down again. C'mon, force a government shut down again. I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfarker. Force a government shut down one more goddamn time (thehill.com)
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Federal Judge, who's gonna need surgery to remove his palm from his face, orders RI public HS to remove "School Prayer" mural, rejecting the schools argument that the mural was "purely secular" (news.yahoo.com)
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After documentary exposes disabled children in Turkey are tied to their beds all day and not fed, Turkish government springs into action and charges the Duchess of York with violating the privacy of children (telegraph.co.uk)
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Why some women stay single (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you're a top official in the Game and Fish Department, you probably shouldn't take your friends out on illegal bear hunts (adn.com)
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Republicans: Government is too big, there are too many agencies, we need to cut, cut, CUT. Obama: Here's a starter list of six agencies I want to eliminate. Republicans: OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU WANT TO DESTROY THE GOVERNMENT (washingtonpost.com)
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Two Frenchmen use metal detectors to search WWI battlefields for lost dog tags. However instead of selling them to collectors they search for descendants of the soldiers who lost them. "Vive la France" (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Taxpayer) |
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"I'm in the top 1%. I can't imagine saying, no, I'm not going to take this opportunity to make more money because I'm going to have to pay more of it to the federal government. I mean, that's -- that's nuts" (pbs.org)
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Thu January 12, 2012
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Labor Department offers $20 million in grants for organizations to help former prisoners find work so they can get their lives back in order. Surprisingly even Fox News doesn't have a problem with this (foxnews.com)
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| (Some Gay Preacher) |
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"Homosexuality is the only sinful behavior that has a cultural identity and movement surrounding it," Tom said fiercely (bpnews.net)
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All those that made illegal recess appointments, please step forward. Whoa, not so fast there, Mr. President (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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New York City health department has found their newest spokesperson against the dangers of super-sizing: a diabetic amputee. Naturally, some people have a problem with this. Mostly, though, they work for fast food companies (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com)
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Mitt Romney picks up a key endorsement from John Bolton. Wait, this is supposed to be good news for Romney? (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)
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Kutcher wants to return to 'Two and a Half Men', which is coincidentally the number of remaining viewers (wrcbtv.com)
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"... and with the 23rd pick in this year's NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select anger management specialist Dr. Buddy Rydell" (bleacherreport.com)
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| (Some Canuck) |
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Canadian government to replace mouthwash with vodka. Their best idea since EVER (z1043.com)
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I, for one, am appalled by the way the lingerie models paraded half-naked around the art gallery, and to show my outrage, will only watch the video alone in the basement 7 more times (myfoxdc.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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God bless topless bars...and women (thebradentontimes.com)
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In this week's enthralling episode of "Muslim in 'Merika," we meet a Connecticut college student hunted down by the FBI after her school reported her as a terrorist for making a sexual harassment claim (hosted.ap.org)
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School districts' requirement that all students wear "health monitors" 24/7 that record their every move and vital statistic is not a repeat from 1984 (stltoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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ACLU: 92% of Gitmo detainees were never Al Qaeda. 86% turned over to coalition forces for a bounty. Youngest was 13. Oldest was ... 98. Over 200 FBI Agents reported abusive treatments. Bush released 532 prisoners. Obama: 68. 171 left (aclu.org)
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Wed January 11, 2012
Tue January 10, 2012
| (Remote Sensing Guy) |
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State Department of Transportation archaeologists forced to use ground penetrating radar and magnetometers to dispute findings of man holding coathangers (enterprise-journal.com)
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Women banned from gynecological conference so that they don't accidentally menstruate on any important research (theglobeandmail.com)
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Steven Tyler schools the Supreme Court on the first amendment, broadcast regulations, and how to do a line of blow off Justice Ginsburg's ass (foxnews.com)
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We who live in prison, and in whose lives there is no event but sorrow, have to measure time by throbs of pain, and the record of bitter moments (slate.com)
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Guess which government now labels groups that oppose it as 'radicals'. Is it: A) Syria, B) Venezuela or C) Canada (cbc.ca)
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4 guns + 3 men + 2 dead alligators + 1 sugar cane field = Florida tag (palmbeachpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Japanese department store loses its copy of the 7 words you cannot say on television just in time to start a new advertising campaign, w/Not safe for work language poster results (Language is NSFW) (guyism.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Are shaved bare porn actresses re-wiring the brains of men who watch internet porn? Yes. And so are those videos of 2 women, 1 cat, a feather duster, two bags of chips, and a jar of peanut butter (reuniting.info)
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Mon January 09, 2012
Sun January 08, 2012
| (Some Geezer) |
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Liquor license granted to retirement home. Sorry kids, you can't visit grandma today. She's still sleeping off all those gin rickeys from bingo night (dailycamera.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In the United States, there are more raped women than smokers of both genders. In other news, there has been a significant increase of apple tree growth, but the shortage of oranges continues (significancemagazine.org)
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10 sexy men on TV that you do not know, and have never been in your kitchen (foxnews.com)
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| (Lowell Sun) |
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Loophole-exploiting Red Sox will suffer most under baseball's new collective bargaining agreement (lowellsun.com)
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Arizona's Governor on ObamaCare: This violates the tenth amendment. We shall fight this. Arizona's Governor on Medical Marijuana: This violates Federal law. Who are we to question them? (bloomberg.com)
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Newt Gingrich: "The fact is I never asked for a deferment, I was married with a child, it was never a question." Ron Paul: "When I was drafted, I was married and had two kids. And I went." Oh snap (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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The answer to rising unemployment: 20 hour work weeks (guardian.co.uk)
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Back in the late 90s, before Patrick Stewart left Starfleet and headed up Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, there was a Star Trek/X-Men crossover novel that wasn't nearly as bad as you'd think (io9.com)
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Sat January 07, 2012
Fri January 06, 2012
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For sale: One slightly used nuclear bomb-proof space station in Carmel Valley, California. For only $4.2 million you can get great TV reception and still have a basement that will withstand a five-megaton nuclear blast. Serious inquiries only (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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The Obama administration broadens the definition of rape to include men. So, apparently, it wasn't legally possible to rape a man until now (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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House Democrats flood in during a pro-forma session to demand that they start work. Inspired by their commitment to the country, the House Republicans agree and begin legislating. Just kidding, they cut off C-SPAN again (thinkprogress.org)
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Newt Gingrich: I can't talk about what I did at Freddie Mac due to confidentiality agreement.. Freddie Mac: Yeah, about that, Newt, it's open mic month (bloomberg.com)
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"President Obama has exceeded his powers by making a recess appointment" says the guy who said the last President had the legal right to crush a child's testicles (andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com)
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Rick Santorum between huffs of bug spray: unemployment has been dropping because of "optimism that Republicans will take the White House" (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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200,000 jobs added in December. Unemployment rate drops to 8.5%, which is the lowest level since February 2009. Those abortion bills are finally paying off (money.cnn.com)
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Obama visits high school, tells students that he's inspired by their bullshiat-detection acumen (realclearpolitics.com)
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Taking off your wedding ring and throwing it at your wife might be an effective gesture during an argument, but not if you have to call emergency services to help you (mirror.co.uk)
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MA Senator Scott Brown comes out in support of Obama's appointment of Cordray to run the CFPB. If he'd done that with Obama's first choice, he might not be about to get his ass kicked in the next election (news.yahoo.com)
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What would you do if your spouse were gone for two months? This woman decided to take off her clothes and bend over in front of eight naked men (salon.com)
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Scientists discover men and women have different personalities. Who knew? (telegraph.co.uk)
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Brain function starts to decline at age 45, say those men in those jackets over in that place with the lady with that big thing on her head. You know, it's all shiny and there's those guys with the tall hats and no eyes (bbc.co.uk)
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It takes some balls to break into someone's house, live there openly, claim "adverse possession," throw out their stuff, and then charge them for home improvements because they were out of town getting chemo (foxnews.com)
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NASA is delaying the auction of the hand-written checklist from Apollo 13 until the prop department in the Nevada desert can make another one (mnn.com)
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Government list of disallowed baby names shows that New Zealand parents still cannot get Anal* (news.com.au)
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Kirstie Alley: "I'll date ugly men." Ugly Men: "No thanks" (cnn.com)
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What's the best investment in America? Stocks? Bonds? How about a 22,000% return on buying a member of congress (npr.org)
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| (Merced Sun-Star) |
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Today's special: Vag Lasguna. This menu brought to you by the dining hall at the University of California, Merced (mercedsunstar.com)
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Thu January 05, 2012
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Chipotle would like to sell you burritos for that big football game they aren't legally allowed to mention (sportsgrid.com)
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| (Blue Gold News) |
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Blue Gold News (West Virginia Sports News) sees FARK's headline about their Orange Bowl victory and calls it the "FARK comment of the day" (mbd.scout.com)
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| (Some Brit) |
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Britney Spears can't stop looking at engagement ring, reinforcing stereotypes (digitalspy.com)
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Stephen Hawking says the Universe's greatest mystery is A: The Time-Space Continuum? B: Quantum and Theoretical Physics? or C: Women? (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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January is National Birth Defect Prevention month. Luckily for Farkers, you can get your daily requirement of folic acid from the orange juice in your average screwdriver (nbdpn.org)
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Do you know anyone or better yet, work with anyone who is really paranoid or conspiracy believing? Like they think the Government is watching them, or that the CIA put LSD in their drinking water or some other nonsense? (fark.com)
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Great news for you morons in the housing market. Since you're too stupid to understand what you are doing Obama has set up an 800 number for you to call so the government can tell you if you're getting a good deal (nation.foxnews.com)
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Robert Duvall is 81 today...and among his lesser-known awesomenesses is his singing talent. Yeah, he can hold his own in a duet with Emmylou Harris (youtube.com)
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While you were busy being outraged over Verizon's $2 fee to make a payment other utilities were already charging $4.95 (boston.com)
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How much has American culture slipped? It has come to the point where 4chan memes are seen as social commentary (huffingtonpost.com)
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When a judge finds it "highly implausible" 11 panelists would "stick their noses in jars of excrement and report 44 independent times that they smelled nothing unpleasant," you'll probably have to pull your commercial (chron.com)
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Florida man bitten, stabbed after argument with girlfriend over missing New Year's Eve 'ball drop' on TV. To prevent future 'ball drop' violence, police suggest he set his DVR next time (blogs.tcpalm.com)
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Jack Abramoff is speaking out against corruption in Washington and wants to work with the Occupy Wall Street movement. Read that sentence again, slowly. Enjoy your aneurysm (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Even in the Bang Phlat section of Bangkok, Thailand it is illegal to perform "penis enlargement massages" in your car (bangkokpost.com)
|
Wed January 04, 2012
Tue January 03, 2012
Mon January 02, 2012
Sun January 01, 2012
 |
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Dennis Rodman comes up with a way to get guys to watch women's basketball (fannation.com)
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| (Naples Daily News) |
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Usually moms get drunk after taking the kids to amusement parks instead of at the amusement park (naplesnews.com)
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Koch Industries blows up children, blames government regulations "While business was becoming increasingly regulated, we kept thinking and acting as if we lived in a pure market economy" (bloomberg.com)
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Today's edition of "that's a great idea, seriously, let us know how that turns out, ok?" brought to you by pro surfing's announcement that it will institute drug testing (guardian.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Obama's NDAA Signing Statement: I have the power to detain Americans...but I won't (infowars.com)
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SHMHC: Julie Christmas - Bow. Isn't it awful that they're letting women make heavy music? She can't hold a candle to whatever band you prefer. These thoughts and more to the right (youtube.com)
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Video of some guy's office during this morning's earthquake in Japan. I'm sorry, but if there's flying office equipment going on, I'd be hiding under my desk instead of videotaping. (Not safe for work language) (youtube.com)
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British government considers limiting subsidized housing to people making under $150,000 per year (bbc.co.uk)
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The nerdy drinking gadgets no self-respecting Farker's mom's basement should be without (gadgetbox.msnbc.msn.com)
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Cancer found in 20 women who had faulty implants. So, still think these abominations are a good idea, ladies? (foxnews.com)
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Florida Times Union notes that FARK was very quick to pick up the "crony capitalism" story relating to the loan from the Energy Department (3rd section) before the rest of media discovered it (jacksonville.com)
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Sat December 31, 2011
Fri December 30, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Sam's Club, home of the 40 gallon mayonnaise drum, enormous barrels of pickles, and 50 pound sacks of deep-fried frozen meat substitute nuggets, will now offer health screenings. First recommendation from doctors will be STOP SHOPPING HERE (wfaa.com)
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David Beckham may decline French club PSG's offer, may stay with LA Galaxy. When reached for comment, Becks said "anyfing Oi ken do, to 'elp me team, be wiv me mates, 'elp grow vuh game in vuh States, Oi'll dew" (news.bbc.co.uk)
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Parents of the year duct tape infant and toddler, hang one upside down on exercise equipment and of course they captured the moment forever by posting pictures on facebook (foxnews.com)
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Neckbearded former QB for the Bears and Broncos sues over bad investments. DAMMIT ORTON (chicagotribune.com)
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The Republican candidates want limited government, right? Not so much (nytimes.com)
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| (France24) |
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Kim Jong-Il's death not only marks end of a brutal tyrant, but unemployment for his double (france24.com)
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Thu December 29, 2011
| (News 25) |
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Women arrested for submitting false injury claims in Indiana State Fair stage collapse. Go to hell, go directly to hell, do not pass Go, do not collect $7,500 (news25.us)
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| (Portfolio.com) |
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Is medical pot a big business? Fresh off last month's purchase of Marijuana.com for $4.20 million, General Cannabis Inc. buys a software-development company. Toke, Mortimer, toke (portfolio.com)
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Ron Paul's website drops endorsement from anti-gay pastor who advocated the death penalty for homosexuals. Shockingly, Ron Paul has a website (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Good news, Americans. CNN has finally aired a segment explaining why those durn Straights of Whoremoose are so important and why you should care if them durn al queda or whoever close it down (cnn.com)
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Missing drug evidence points to rogue cop. In other news, there are a lot of rogue cops in Massachusetts. In other other news, police departments are not allowed to test officers for drug use (bostonherald.com)
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Big Ten, Pac-12 announce new football scheduling agreement, a move that won't change which SEC teams play in the National Championship game in the slightest (nytimes.com)
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How to reach representatives of your government in a way they'll actually read what you wrote. For your local evangelical conservatives, just hang out at a rest area like you're cruising and two or three will be by presently (lifehacker.com)
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After BP donated $30 million to help Florida's tourism industry, officials spent the money on a poker tournament, fleece blankets, sports towels, a "most deserving mom" contest, and a prom for senior citizens (blog.al.com)
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Fashion designer makes gown out of Ford Focus parts . As expected, most women want bigger headlights (content.usatoday.com)
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Denny's worst menu creations. "Denny's best hits" would have been a shorter list (huffingtonpost.com)
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Someone needs to tell Maria Menounos that when you tweet hot tub bikini pictures, crop out your parents first (hollywoodtuna.com)
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Democrats are to blame for poverty in America because the Colombian government built a giant elevator in the Medellin ghetto (americanthinker.com)
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In another flagrant example of government over-regulation, Montréal residents can no longer get their pancakes and eggs served by topless women and eat them while watching porn (cbc.ca)
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Mad skills at African amputee soccer tournament (shortlist.com)
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What will the revolution in Egyptian government mean for tourism? Well, bans on alcohol, restrictions on revealing swimwear, and beaches segregated by gender, for starters. Enjoy your vacation (npr.org)
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Some gems from the CNNGo comments section this year, like "Somehow this got by CNN" (cnngo.com)
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WWE upset with Michael Cole's commentary, asks him to SHUT THE FARKING FARK UP (bleacherreport.com)
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Wed December 28, 2011
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"We're not going to kill Big Bird, Big Bird's going to have advertisements" - Mitt Romney, business genius (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Dollar gains. In comedic terms, it's somewhere between Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook (marketwatch.com)
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Townspeople cut down trees in order to save local environment (pennlive.com)
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Apparently Ocean Marketing's customer service department has been caught on video (kotaku.com)
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If you recently lost a torso, the Poconos Police Department would like you to claim it (mcall.com)
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| (NFL.com) |
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Congrats to rookies A.J Green, Von Miller, and Patrick Peterson for making the pro bowl. Now it's time to discuss the snubs. Subby will start off by mentioning London Fletcher (nfl.com)
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Despite new guidelines, Texas research lab will continue experimenting on the state's residents (statesman.com)
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From frontal assaults to Washington, to full-blown kamikaze strikes to all of the GOP, Candidates turn negative in multimillion dollar Iowa television ad bombardment (cnn.com)
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AZ judge says school district's ethnic studies program is illegal because teaching Hispanics how badly the state has screwed them over in the past might lead to "resentments" against white people (news.yahoo.com)
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Do you want the Department of Homeland Security as one of your Twitter followers? Here are the magic words to use (gawker.com)
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Well, what you caught there is the infamous "Ball Cutter" fish...known to kill men by feasting on their testicles. With pic of ball cutting teeth (telegraph.co.uk)
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95 year old man likes his women like he likes his coffee (nydailynews.com)
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The Seattle Police Department; winning the hearts and minds of the public one kick to the groin at a time (komonews.com)
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Tue December 27, 2011
Mon December 26, 2011
Sun December 25, 2011
Sat December 24, 2011
Fri December 23, 2011
Thu December 22, 2011
Wed December 21, 2011
| |
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If you talk to people about jury nullification, this prosecutor will seek to have you jailed for six months. Subby wonders what the prosecutor might do to anyone who talks about the First Amendment (nytimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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White Castle experimenting with alcohol sales in their restaurants. Meal deal will be referred to as a 10 sack and a 6 pack (dispatch.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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A Navy tradition caught up with the repeal of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' today when two women sailors became the first to share the coveted "first kiss" on the dock after one of them returned from 80 days at sea (wtkr.com)
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Meanwhile, in France, the government is considering forcing 30,000 women to have breast reduction surgery (guardian.co.uk)
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| (JoBlo.com) |
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Bill Murray put his Ghostbusters 3 script through paper shredder, and sent it back to Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd saying "No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts" (joblo.com)
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Y'all be better off forgettin 'bout that Apple walkie talkie whatsis and just gettin a replacement dial fer yer kitchen wall phone. 'Taint gunna work. Now, you'n want a coke or sweet tea with yer chaw? (foxnews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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European auto insurers are looking to use black box data to get around the coming ban on rate discrimination against men (insurancejournal.com)
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"Oh Subby," BMW drivers say, "I drive my penis replacement perfectly." No, you don't. Here's the proof (jalopnik.com)
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After years of insomnia-based all nighters, Chinese hackers discover the secret to restful sleep. They break into US Chamber of Commerce policy statement discussions (foxnews.com)
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Even though we already have chili peppers hot enough to make Conan the Barbarian cry for his mommy, some dangerously insane madmen and still trying to make them even hotter (physorg.com)
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Researchers have pinpoint the origin of the rocks used to build Stonehenge to a quarry nearly 100 miles away from the site; think that most of the workmen who delivered the stones didn't even know where they lived anymore (news.yahoo.com)
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New translation reveals the Three Wise Men might actually have been a score of random dumbasses, most of them too cheap to bring presents (dailymail.co.uk)
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Average American household spent $4,155 filling up their vehicles in 2011. As expected, most trips were back and forth to the unemployment office (chicagotribune.com)
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The dumbest moments in business 2011 (finance.yahoo.com)
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The government is asking journalists to shut their beaks and stop squawking about how a lab-made version of the bird flu could make us all dead ducks (mnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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For the record, Schoolhouse Rocks' "I'm Just A Bill" does not anywhere mention House-Senate conference committees or what happens if the House and Senate disagree on a bill (mcclatchydc.com)
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Tue December 20, 2011
Mon December 19, 2011
Sun December 18, 2011
Sat December 17, 2011
Fri December 16, 2011
| |
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"It's reshaping the pattern of demand in the economy, redirecting production into goods that are complementary to Skyrim, like more comfortable chairs and surgery to correct vision problems associated with excessive Skyrim-playing" (slate.com)
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Lost: 10+ ostriches. Large birds, temperament unknown. Please do not feed or approach. If sighted, contact the Fukushima Nuclear Exclusion Zone commander immedia---+++ATH0+++ (japantimes.co.jp)
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Don King's turkey truck hijacked. This is an audacious, fallacious, hellacious, and vexatious crime intended to stupify, horrify, and mystify our mortified law enforcement officials and poultrified spectators (upi.com)
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"Holy father we pray that the state constitution be amended to define marriage as a one man and one woman which in your wisdom would never be confused with political lobbying and cost us our tax exemption. In Jesus we pray" (startribune.com)
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| (Some Dizzy Guy) |
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Amusement park adds new ride and OMG IT SPINS (wtae.com)
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FBI swept a probe of Gingrich's involvement in an illegal $10 million arms deal under the rug. The FOIA is there (washingtonpost.com)
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Like totally awesome: 10 women from the '80s who are still better looking NOW than Jennifer Aniston (tampabay.com)
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"If he had to die so young, at least he died at a moment where he was on top of the world," said the mother of a man who was killed when a train dumped its load of coal on top of him at a power plant (myfoxdc.com)
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Putin puts a Playboy model in the Parliament. If this doesn't get more young people involved in politics, then it at least will wear out the arms of all the other male MPs (dailymail.co.uk)
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Driver going 25 over limit, playing with computer, and not wearing seat belt crashes into tree. In other news, there's a job opening in the Delray Beach police department (sun-sentinel.com)
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GOP kills CFL lightbulbs to keep the whole government from going dark (politico.com)
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Ebook prices to rise under new agreement amongst book publishers, resulting in ebooks being priced above the physical book price. You can thank Apple for this (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)
|
Thu December 15, 2011
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Not news: man barred from wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt to work. Cool: He's a member of the British Parliament (bbc.co.uk)
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London Police classify Occupy movement as a Terrorist organization. How long til the US follows? (uk.news.yahoo.com)
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Louis CK's DRM-free direct-sales video experiment pays off: "I really hope people keep buying it a lot, so I can have shiatloads of money" (boingboing.net)
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Q: Did the cable guy get a big surprise on a house call? A: Does a bear sleep in the basement? (news.yahoo.com)
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Is the government lying to us about the economy? Unemployment is down (because people stopped looking for work) and consumer spending is slightly off (because people are living out of their cars) (marketwatch.com)
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Saudi Arabia still accuses women of practicing witchcraft. Hey, maybe we could have Christine O'Donnell be our ambassador to Saudi Arabia (foreignpolicy.com)
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What if someone predicted the wars, middle east uprisings, US housing bubble and economic collapse, dollar crisis, erosion of civil liberties, expanding government, & class warfare in 2002. Would you vote for them to be President? (youtube.com)
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The government can't require you to get an ID. But has no problem requiring you to buy Obamacare (jsonline.com)
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Men are oppressing women by allowing women to earn more with better jobs while staying home playing video games, drinking beer, watching porn and boffing their mother-in-laws (nytimes.com)
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Gary Busey retracts his Newt Gingrich endorsement. It's not too late, Michele (popwatch.ew.com)
|
Wed December 14, 2011
| (wane.com) |
|
Indiana councilman apologizes to mentally handicapped community for insultingly comparing them to the GOP (wane.com)
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Rapper Ray J teams up with Evander Holyfield for a new "boxing entertainment" venture that's sure to piss on the legacy of the sport (starpulse.com)
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President Obama's senior advisors recommend he not veto NDAA bill that would make you safe, citizen. Continue on (huffingtonpost.com)
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'Government shutdown 2 - shutdown harder'. Starring Harry Reid and Mitch "Turtle" McConnell (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Gawker finally gets a response to the Freedom of Information Act request they put in four years ago for documents on Blackwater. Here are the lowlights. Anyway, has anyone figured out what those Occupiers are upset about? (gawker.com)
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The 20 unhappiest people you meet in the comments sections of year end lists, now taking your questions to the right (npr.org)
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Industrial controller weakness used to ruin Iran's enrichment plant is worrying the US now that the cat is out of the bag (theregister.co.uk)
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"Coulter keeps on plugging Romney". Enjoy that mental image (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Delta Quadrant Daily) |
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Six reasons Star Trek: Voyager was the worst moment in the Star Trek franchise. Yes, even moreso than Enterprise or Babylon 5 (giantfreakinrobot.com)
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"Teen Mom" Leah takes daughter for MRI to detect reasons for developmental delays. Apparently "being daughter of Teen Mom star Leah" is too obvious (dailymail.co.uk)
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Florida man wills $1 million house to help government deficit. National debt pauses for three seconds (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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Tired of corruption, beatings and arrests, villagers chase out government officials and set up local democratic rule. The Arab Spring marches o... huh whut? no way. China? (telegraph.co.uk)
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Romney campaign announces endorsement from Christine O'Donnell. Witch they believe will help with his conservative credentials (talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Want to add some excitement to a women's tennis match? Announce that the first person to kiss Yanina Wickmayer will win a car (break.com)
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Guys overestimate women's desire for them. This study brought to you by The Doy Institute for Advanced No Shiat Studies (labspaces.net)
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MLB's new labor agreement includes more replay, longer All-Star break, longer lines at the concession stands, more Houston Astros games (espn.go.com)
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Ten women who are hotter than Jennifer Aniston (dailycaller.com)
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Facing Obama's veto threat, Congress caves, and drops the whole "let's completely dismantle the 4th amendment" rider from the new Defense spending bill (news.yahoo.com)
|
Tue December 13, 2011
 |
|
Medical marijuana dispensary closing, giving away free pot this Friday. In related news, flight bookings to Sacramento spike (sacbee.com)
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| |
|
At the FoxNews graphics department, geography is HARD (mediamatters.org)
|
| (Market Place) |
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The smog is so thick in Beijing that it's been shutting down air travel due to poor visibility. But according to the Chinese government, it's not pollution, but "bad weather" (marketplace.org)
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United States servicemen will sally down to the Seychelles seashore to secure a slightly smashed drone (security.blogs.cnn.com)
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Fiscal conservative™ and small government Governor of South Dakota looking to borrow another $1 million to defend their unconstitutional anti-abortion law in court (thinkprogress.org)
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Every person has some fundamental human rights, like the right to vote, the right to worship, and the right to enjoy recess. Wait, what? (suntimes.com)
|
| (Bill Gross) |
|
MIT has made a camera that captures 1 trillion frames per second. You can capture the movement of light across a room. That, or the hi-def cat video to end all cat videos (chime.in)
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David Attenborough explains that BBC filmed polar bears in zoo because they didn't want their cameramen to be eaten (canada.com)
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Member of the Iranian parliament: If the world wants to make the region insecure, we will make the world insecure." So we'll start by playing this little game of closing the Straits of Hormuz (scotsman.com)
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Herman Cain's downfall is the result of a culture whose morals have gone down the drain after the liberal sexual revolution. The takeaway here, obviously, is that husbands should not allow their wives to have any contact with other men (nationalreview.com)
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First official trailer for Men In Black 3 looks better than expected. If nothing else it proves Josh Brolin does a damn good job of channeling his inner Tommy Lee Jones (youtube.com)
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Obamacare Mandate has thrown more than 100,000 health insurance agents and brokers under the bus and given them the gift of an unemployment line just before the holidays (news.yahoo.com)
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Neatorama gives a neato mention to Fark for bringing their attention to the Mythbusters cannonball misfire (neatorama.com)
|
Mon December 12, 2011
Sun December 11, 2011
Sat December 10, 2011
| |
|
Jennifer Aniston named Sexiest Woman of All Time by Men's Health readers, proving that Men's Health readers are 40-something single bald guys who wouldn't recognize real humor if it kicked them in the nuts (people.com)
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| (redding.com) |
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Man rams one car into an apartment, then rams another car into his girlfriend's apartment, kicks down the door and, sheriff says, "this is where it gets kind of weird, he takes off all his clothes and starts jumping on cars" (redding.com)
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| (Jezebel) |
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Some of these quotes are from various men's magazines. Some are from convicted rapists justifying their crime. Can you tell the difference? (jezebel.com)
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If some chick tells you she is a doctor, and wants to make your penis bigger by injecting something into it, well, use your best judgement (dailymail.co.uk)
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In the "youth sports rapidly replacing the Catholic church as prime abusers of boys" department, another coach accused of going the second mile with the kids (cnn.com)
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Hey GOP, I'm a small-business owner, and I put all my money right back into my businesses in the form of capital improvements, which I don't pay taxes on anyway. So your argument isn't how reality works (huffingtonpost.com)
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Authorities arrest 3 Chinese men in Cologne after finding 100 snakes, 70 tortoises, and 20 neon-colored frogs in their hotel room; are unsure whether they are animal dealers or had just ordered room service (thelocal.de)
|
Fri December 09, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Stabbing your way out of Court-ordered Anger Management classes: You're doing it wrong (king5.com)
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| |
|
Battlefield 3: destroying planes like a boss - also known as the best video game moment of the year (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
|
Coke Zero + Mentos = Rocket Car (pressherald.com)
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| |
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Only pansies kill themselves with guns or pills. Real men kill themselves with piranhas (thesun.co.uk)
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 |
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With unemployment at 8.6% and the economy in the tank, it's time to focus on what's really important: Rachel Bilson and Miranda Kerr wore the same dress to different events (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
|
1) Make false alarm call to 911. 2) Rob empty firehouse C) Prof.... er - Get caught by returning firemen (chicago.cbslocal.com)
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|
Supervisors banish DoE whistleblower and his little red stapler to the basement (washingtonpost.com)
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| |
|
Siemens downgraded to wet spot (marketwatch.com)
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| |
|
Texas Instruments revenue falls, discovers it's tough to be in the computer business when the chips are down (bloomberg.com)
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Original Hooters gets some enhancement (sfgate.com)
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Baldwingate intensifies yet again, as flight attendants union ups the ante on Alec Baldwin, demanding he be put on no-fly list and that 30 Rock be removed from all in-flight entertainment. Your move, Alec (nydailynews.com)
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MLB's new media dress code bans visible undergarments, tank tops, muscle shirts, short skirts. Among those not allowed in dugouts or locker room are Popeye, Lady Gaga, Superman (espn.go.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Inventors of a new revolutionary substance claim that it can keep things from getting wet. For generations married men knew of this substance, and called it wedding cake (digg.com)
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S&P's chief credit officer downgraded from "employed" to "fired". This leaves him at "junk" status and available for assignment to the Chicago Cubs (bloomberg.com)
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Scientists found that supplementing the cows' feed with the leftover material from wine-making reduced methane emissions by 20%, increased milk production by 5% and raised snobbery levels 100% (news24.com)
|
Thu December 08, 2011
Wed December 07, 2011
| |
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In honor of the late, great, Harry Morgan, here are seven great M*A*S*H moments with Colonel Sherman T. Potter (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)
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Principal forced out over 9-year-old's sexual harassment suspension:"One mistake in 44 years, and I'm not given the benefit of the doubt. I really don't believe I was treated fairly." Zero tolerance is a biatch (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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Two elementary school teachers caught having sex in stadium bathroom at a Buffalo Bills game. Hey, at least someone scored (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tis the season for the school nativity play: The happy smiling kids, no room at the inn, Jesus born into a manger, three wise men, parent having his finger bitten off, peace and joy to all men (google.com)
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Superintendent agrees a sexual harrassment charge was not warranted against the 9 year old boy who said his teacher was either cute, or fine (blogs.ajc.com)
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Slideshow of NFL cheerleaders putting on a disgusting display of skin and cleavage and the objectification of women. I mean...just LOOK at 'em (wwl.com)
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Old and busted: Men without Hats. New hotness: Female Celebrities without Pants (slideshow) (nydailynews.com)
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See three men attempting to load a 3000-pound commercial oven, on the next episode of Tortilla Flats (miamiherald.com)
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Women respond critically to other women who dress provocatively, because they're all dirty sluts who are out to steal your boyfriend (upi.com)
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School bus drivers ordered to remove Christmas decorations, including ribbons, bows, snowflakes, Christmas crackers, snowmen, elves, Santa Claus and angels from their buses. That's stup-- angels? BURN IN HELL OTTO (cnews.canoe.ca)
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Love the cold and snow and hate paying taxes? Has Maine got a retirement plan for you (boston.com)
|
| (Pajiba) |
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The 5 Dudes With Whom It's Most Acceptable for Straight Men to Have a Man Crush (pajiba.com)
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The British government has had enough of these lazy cancer sufferers, says if they're so sick and cancery they better prove it (guardian.co.uk)
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How many Chinese men can you fit on the end of a nail? (dailymail.co.uk)
|
Tue December 06, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
|
Friend of mine followed my recommendation & bought the best headphones in the world. Help a Farker out with a list of "music to be heard in great headphones" (amazon.com)
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Men arrested for chucking beer bottles from fifth level of parking garage after one barley misses police officer (upi.com)
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Apple gives Samsung some helpful advice on avoiding patent infringement: don't make your tablets rectangular, black, thin, with rounded corners or flat fronts, or clean in appearance. No, this isn't from The Onion (macworld.com)
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A lesson in political reporting. 2004: A 5.7% unemployment rate with 300,000 people leaving the workplace equals "Lost Hope." 2011: An 8.6% unemployment rate with 315,000 people leaving the workplace equals "Raising Hopes" (boortz.com)
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Let's recap. The senate approved the NDAA. The amendment to remove indefinite detention failed. It will declare the US a battleground, anyone can get arrested and detained, and it legalizes bestiality- wait, what? (gawker.com)
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A few surveys and fudged numbers tell us everything is great in the employment department. Mmmm, fudged numbers (cnbc.com)
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"The failure of the Occupy Wall Street movement and its descent into Lord of the Flies-style chaos, and in many instances thuggery and criminality, is emblematic of the dramatic decline of the Left in the United States" (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)
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Are you looking for an 'over the top' kind of gal with one hell of a good grip? These women have what you want (thelocal.se)
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Fearing for their safety, police are forced to tear clothing from OWS protester and hastily retreat from weeping, underwear clad menace (news.com.au)
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Jim Schwartz says some Detroit Lions players "may" face punishment for their actions during their game against the Saints, but says he saw nothing warranting suspension. Yes, even the guy who put his hands on a ref (mlive.com)
|
Mon December 05, 2011
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Alan Moore responds to Frank Miller's nasty comments on the OWS protestors. This battle can only be settled with a battle of pissed off, crotchety superheroes (iheartchaos.com)
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Government agency to provide free morning-after pills this Christmas season to any ho, ho, hos that request them over the phone (telegraph.co.uk)
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So, it wasn't right to send penis enlargement pumps to diabetics on Medicare? Should I not have done that? (chicagotribune.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Tired of getting ripped off, Sacramento church uses latest technology to nab copper thieves. Well, maybe not the latest, but the mug shots are worth it (sacramento.cbslocal.com)
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Five NFL players delivering the worst return on investment (bleacherreport.com)
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Let's see: Commit a bunch of stupid penalties? Check. Throw a couple of key interceptions? Yep. Commit dumb mental mistakes not worthy of junior varsity? Of course. Welcome back Detroit Lions (detnews.com)
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Can infections trigger OCD and other mental illnesses? I'd tell you, but I have to wash my hands 10 times and make sure all the doors are locked, or my cat will explode (latimes.com)
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How to make your LPs sound better than ever. I'm sure that "warm" sound will be enhanced with $12,000 of speaker wire and pro audio equipment (news.cnet.com)
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| (The Local - France) |
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France passes law banning prostitution by criminalizing paying for sex, thus guaranteeing married men will never get laid again (thelocal.fr)
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Sun December 04, 2011
Sat December 03, 2011
Fri December 02, 2011
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1st grader faces sexual harassment charge for punching another boy in the groin. Mom says the other kid choked her son, and says if you consider the punch to be sexual assault, then you need to charge the other boy with attempted murder (azcentral.com)
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Vegetables reduce risk of strokes in women... unless cucumbers are involved. In that case, all bets are off (sciencedaily.com)
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Washington Post writes an article about Reddit ... and still mentions FARK (6th paragraph) (washingtonpost.com)
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Please welcome the two newest elements to the Periodic Table: Livermorium and Flerovium. Flavinglavinium, Professorfrinkanium, Glavinflavinanium still awaiting approval process (news.yahoo.com)
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Government approves Google's $400M acquisition of Admeld. Antitrust issues? What antitrust issues? (venturebeat.com)
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Not only will apple juice kill you with arsenic, it will also make you fat. Fark's previous recommendation of substituting beer continues with additional oomph (cbc.ca)
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9 nerdy film locations you can visit including Middle Earth, Rick Deckard's apartment, Initech HQ and Yavin 4 (wired.com)
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Mitt Romney on new jobless numbers: "Obama will have a hard time putting perfume on this pig." In related news, Sarah Palin considers filing copyright infringement suit against Mitt Romney (mediaite.com)
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Russian PM Vladimir Putin to face pig named Nakh-Nakh in Parliamentary election (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Zap2It) |
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Jay Cutler on his engagement to Kristin Cavallari: "I'm just kind of along for the ride." Kind of like his relationships with Broncos, Bears (blog.zap2it.com)
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Mike Sherman feeling a little sheepish after reading Aggie player comments about him getting screwed (espn.go.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Science teacher "rewards" class for doing well by performing a chemistry experiment that involves flammable liquid and fire. How could this possibly go wrong? (minnesota.cbslocal.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Dear Ann Landers: How old do men have to be to quit having sex? (spokesman.com)
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If the Muppets auditioned for other movies. Statler and Waldorf in "X-Men" for the win (buzzfeed.com)
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Let's build a beacon to tell aliens who we were. And don't forget to mention our soft, fleshy underbellies and delicious rib meat (newscientist.com)
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Demonstrating the need to eliminate the Department of Education, Herman Cain's super PAC releases an ad with his name spelled wrong (huffingtonpost.com)
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Saudi Arabian religious council says that allowing women drivers would be the end of virginity. I think they misunderstand the purpose of the stick shift (telegraph.co.uk)
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Police arrest 29 during a raid on a homeless shelter; take food, literature and first amendment away from occupiers (abcactionnews.com)
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November unemployment rate dips to 8.6%, the lowest since 2009 (foxnews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In what may be the biggest load of crap since the whole "If you've ever smoked a joint, you caused 9/11" campaign, a legislator compares copyright infringement to child porn (techdirt.com)
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AT&T says they can afford a lot more congressmen than the #FCC (nypost.com)
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In a sure sign of Barbara Walters' future battles with dementia, the Kardashians make her list of the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011 (news.yahoo.com)
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Thu December 01, 2011
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Michele Bachmann comes out in favor of marriage between gay men and their beards (huffingtonpost.com)
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Man is safe, no, satchel, sentiment, hmm, snackbar.. here it is, stabbed. He's stabbed at the library (komonews.com)
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Police suddenly and instantly drive protestors out of encampment, then complain about the stuff they left behind that the police would not give them time to take with them when they drove them out with no opportunity to gather the stuff (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Subby just got his check from the eBay Final Value Fee class-action settlement. Tell Subby what to do with his check for 3 cents. LInk may be Not safe for work (myevilstar.com)
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If you're going to get drunk and then ransack your ex-girlfriend's apartment remember two things: 1) Don't pass out in her apartment. 2) Make sure you have the right apartment (sun-sentinel.com)
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Australian Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd said in an interview that he backed the creation of a trilateral security deal and that the response from the Indian government had been "positive." India: Uhhh WTF are you talking about? (reuters.com)
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Science asks: Is it more dangerous to drive drunk or stoned? Subby's own near-exhaustive experimentation with Mario Kart indicate we should probably just have the damn pizza delivered (slate.com)
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Boring parts first so you'll read the whole thing: public service announcement for spaying and neutering debuts, featuring topless Katherine Heigl...see? You CAN do delayed gratification (nydailynews.com)
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Police officer and department office manager attempt to get rid of budget-slashing city official using Santerian birdseed ritual, are instead turned in by their accomplice the janitor. Can you guess the state without looking at the tag? (miamiherald.com)
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Apple apologizes for Siri's pro-life bias and promises that next version with work with coat-hanger attachment (theatlanticwire.com)
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Fox president all but confirms Prometheus is an alien prequel, says he's "heartbroken" about the leaked footage. But not as heartbroken as the people who watched it expecting some excitement (avclub.com)
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Penn State University, trying to head off more embarrassment from this rape scandal, buys 4 .XXX domain names (deadspin.com)
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"After careful consideration, I withdraw my statements comparing annexing farmland for power lines to killing millions of Ukrainians" (canada.com)
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So the Israeli government is happy to take American money, but American Jews aren't good enough to marry (thedailybeast.com)
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| (The Daily Iowan) |
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What if the Tea Partiers moved out? "Needless to say, the government became completely inept within a few decades" (dailyiowan.com)
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| (wcti12.com) |
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Man rescues crash victim moments before a Michael Bay movie takes place (wcti12.com)
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29-year-old virgins seeking men. I guess if there are 20 of them, I'm in (canada.com)
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PROTIP: Raise your nostalgia glasses and have a moment of silence for GamePro, which is shutting down (aggrogate.com)
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Ancient Mayan tablet does not say the world will end in 2012; properly decoded, it cryptically states "In the One Mile High City, the 15 Man will lead his fellow horsemen to victory in a Bowl That Is Super". Whatever that means (guardian.co.uk)
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Carlos Mencia is attempting a comeback. You submitted this headline two years ago and it was way funnier then (slate.com)
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It looks like major weight loss is yet another thing Carlos Mencia has stolen from George Lopez (tmz.com)
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Wed November 30, 2011
Tue November 29, 2011
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New military enlistment perk: Less groping at the airport (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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You know in the cartoons when an animal makes a perfect silouette running through a door? Yeah. Not so much in real life. So here's a deer running through a car wash. Your argument is invalid (ulocal.wmur.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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When your harebrained scheme to steal women's shoes from a sporting-goods store goes awry, be a dear and tell the arresting officers you have crack pipes hidden in your buttocks, won't you? (wpbf.com)
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Newt Gingrich likes to write off his previous support of an individual mandate as an indiscretion from the 90s. But he supported the idea as lately as 2008, the same year Democrats started talking about implementing it (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Marine awarded the CMOH in Aghanistan can't work due to accusations of mental instability by BAE after quitting due to them selling advanced military tech to Pakistan. Way to support the troops BAE (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some puzzled rescuers) |
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"We saw two men, who were Iranians, drowning in the sea. We took them on our boat and battled the sea 45 minutes until we reached land. They hugged and kissed us, but when we told them we were Israelis, they got up and ran away" (ynetnews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Give it up Community fans. Your show has about as much chance of getting back on the air as Family Guy, Futurama and Arrested Development do....wait, what? They did? Huh...carry on then (aoltv.com)
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Hugh Laurie plans to quit television as soon as 'House' goes off the air. Of course, there's talk of a music career. Bruce Willis unavailable for comment (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (eurekalert) |
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New study says men do not think about sex all of the time ... Just most of the time (eurekalert.org)
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Gingrich meets privately with South Carolina pastors. Guess how many of these traditional-values leaders asked Newt about his tendency to treat the Seventh Commandment as strictly optional (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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It's not cognizant broadcast, it's Drew Curtis's Englightenment Dispatch (telegraph.co.uk)
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Gary Kubiak has mentioned his name, over the horizon, on a tractor, unfinished business. They call him... FAVRE (espn.go.com)
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| (Motherboard.tv) |
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Evolution explains why you went mentally insane on Black Friday (motherboard.tv)
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| (WFSB Rocky Hill) |
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Woman steals ornaments at craft fair, uses ornament to stab pursuer while fleeing police. I'm dreaming of a White Trash Christmas (wfsb.com)
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Mon November 28, 2011
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Newt also picks up the not-quite-as-coveted Bill Clinton endorsement (thehill.com)
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Former Tennessee women's BB coach Pat Summitt stays strong while battling Alzheimers. Also stays strong while battling Alzheimers (nydailynews.com)
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You could pay a bunch to heat your house this winter, or you could let Microsoft put a server farm in your basement (betabeat.com)
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Obama campaign strategery to focus on the downtrodden who think that government will help them and the intellecutal elite who think government can help (campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com)
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Woman gives birth moments after getting off plane...saving on the controversial airline "Baby Birthing Fee" (dailymail.co.uk)
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Seoul restaurant being called the "Hooters for women" because it serves cheap, tasty food and employs attractive young men with big personalities (cnngo.com)
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"Happy Feet Two" studio sends 1200 soles to unemployment line (reuters.com)
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Yet another newspaper gives in to the "Facebook is our only hope in saving the comments section" fallacy (news.cincinnati.com)
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Police have discovered the bodies of three men in Ohio believed to have been murdered after answering job ads on Craigslist (cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If law enforcement needs to take over your Facebook account so that they can pretend to be you while they investigate your friends, then Facebook will not require a warrant, court order, or subpoena, just a polite request (dailydot.com)
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Enraged Pakistanis are protesting the US government and burning Obama in effigy, now edge Gingrich in recent GOP polls (news.yahoo.com)
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| (AdAge) |
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Sales of hard cider rise 25 percent in 2011, leading experts to proclaim cider the new craft beer, "drawing premium prices, coveted women drinkers and even more male fans attracted to bold flavors" (adage.com)
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Columnist: "The 20-day MN State shutdown showed us that 19k government workers are useless and should be fired" (twincities.com)
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CBS camera finds Chargers kicker Nick Novak in the most private of moments (deadspin.com)
|
Sun November 27, 2011
Sat November 26, 2011
Fri November 25, 2011
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Ex-N.Y. mafia boss found dead by river in Canada. Autopsy results are pending after removal of cement shoes (abcnews.go.com)
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"It used to be there was at least some mental safety mechanism, some pause for people before they would resort to the ultimate use of force. That one barrier seems to have disappeared" (tampabay.com)
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| (Houston Press) |
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A roundup of some of the delightfully named people that have graced the Harris County (Houston) Texas crime rolls. Their torment is your gain (blogs.houstonpress.com)
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| (CBS Pittsburgh) |
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Women in Victoria Secret brawl results in hatred of the letters "wl" (pittsburgh.cbslocal.com)
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"Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes seizures in men (washingtonpost.com)
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Hold the Tebow hype for a moment, it's Miller Time (chron.com)
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If you get your penis stuck in a ring, be reassured that the fire department are happy to help. Testicles in a chair? Sorry, you're on your own (guardian.co.uk)
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Rudderless Dutch man in a boat rescued by Brazilian seamen (foxnews.com)
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Kansas Governor: "Students should be more active in government." Student tweet: "You suck". Governor: "That's not what I meant--call her school & demand an apology" (kansascity.com)
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A day in the life of a random assortment of letters (pastemagazine.com)
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The tea party finally responds to the Occupy movement. Buy soon, buy much, buy now ...Just farking buy something (cnbc.com)
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You forgot Poland has nearly 12% unemployment (finance.yahoo.com)
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Republicans upset because Obama doesn't mention God in Thanksgiving address. In other news, Subby is pissed Obama didn't mention Galactus, The Doctor, Tom Servo, and other important fictional characters, too (dailymail.co.uk)
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Thu November 24, 2011
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Megyn Kelly on her pepper spray comments: "it's taken out of context, essentially" (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)
|
| (Happy Turkey Day) |
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"I was making ziti with the meat gravy, and I'm planning to roast peppers over the flames and I had some beautiful cutlets, cut just right, that I was going to fry up before dinner as an appetizer." 50 great food moments in film (newyork.timeout.com)
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Scientists pontificate that observing the female form without textile impediments increases cerebral activity, with corresponding increase in intell--BOOBIES (cnews.canoe.ca)
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Sienna Miller: "I would often find myself, at the age of 21, at midnight, running down a dark street on my own with 10 men chasing me. And the fact they had cameras in their hands made that legal" (cbsnews.com)
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Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Food Shoved into Other Food. What hell hath turducken wrought? (adultswim.com)
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Most online gamers are women and get laid more often. Srsly? (wtop.com)
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Alligator found inside apartment. Great, now all the tenants are gonna want one (ctpost.com)
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| (10tv) |
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Prosecutor: Defendant, can you tell me why all the stolen goods were in your basement. Defendant: The ghost did it. Everyone: LOL. Defendant: Seriously, the ghost did it. Jury: :( (10tv.com)
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Company's actual policy: 'We are not hiring until Obama is gone'. Thanks 'Company America' for helping out with the unemployment situation (11alive.com)
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Wed November 23, 2011
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News Hounds does the impossible and defends Megyn Kelly's "pepper spray is a food product" comment (newshounds.us)
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I'll save you 100 clicks -- Rolling Stone Magazine says that Jimi Hendrix is still the greatest rock guitarist, and demonstrates that the guitar is an old man's instrument (rollingstone.com)
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Hulk Hogan body slammed by divorce settlement (tv.yahoo.com)
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To get 55 mpg you'll have to give up power windows, heated seats, DVD entertainment, and AC that could freeze the Sahara. But on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness (npr.org)
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Siemens tells 17,000 workers not to come (marketwatch.com)
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New comic releases this week include Fantastic Four, X-Men, and RON PAUL (kotaku.com)
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Fed testing to see if banks can withstand 13 percent unemployment and an 8% drop in GDP. This is only a test (finance.yahoo.com)
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27 great moments in history if the internet was around. #alamo I'M IN UR BASE, KILLIN' UR DOODZ (Not a slideshow) (cracked.com)
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Kirstie Alley weight loss regimen includes low carb eating, cardio training, cigarette butt lift (dailymail.co.uk)
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Penn State players received special treatment, Rick Romero reports (rivals.yahoo.com)
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Jason Segel loves muppets more than women (dailystab.com)
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While arguments over contraceptives are nothing new, an argument about whether or not bison should be forced to take contraceptives is a whole different argument altogether (theatlantic.com)
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Not News: 6th grader falls asleep in class. News: His punishment? Being forced to mow the school lawn. FARK: He has special needs and a medical condition causing him to sleep (komonews.com)
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Tue November 22, 2011
Mon November 21, 2011
Sun November 20, 2011
Sat November 19, 2011
Fri November 18, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Rule #3 of robbing someone's house. Try not lo leave yourself logged into Facebook, your car running in the driveway, AND your parole card in your wallet on the seat (3 Likes - 2 Comments) (atlanta.cbslocal.com)
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Looks like Demi was sleeping with other women too, so LEAVE ASHTON ALONE (iol.co.za)
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Walking to elevators is for commies, this is America, we demand the right to drive to our apartment door on the 32nd floor (miamiherald.com)
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Female Egyptian blogger posts full-frontal nude picture of herself on Belgium snipe hooligan BIE globe rush toys fig announcement beagle radish farmhand door (dailymail.co.uk)
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Video documentation of what really goes on in Herman Cain's head (youtube.com)
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Worms may hold the secret of eternal youth in their genes. Which explains why women look so much better after a bottle of tequila (abcnews.go.com)
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Justin Theroux hates Jennifer Aniston's friendship with Chelsea Handler. This is a sober moment in their relationship... until Chelsea Handler breathes on them, anyway (celebitchy.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Gullible men wanted for job on cattle farm. Located in out-of-the way area with no witnesses. Bring all your valuables along. Please, no bullet proof vests (dispatch.com)
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10 horrific moments of implied movie violence. Bambi's gonna be okay, right? (denofgeek.com)
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Neutrino experiment repeat at CERN finds the same results, though we all knew this would happen before they even hit the switch (bbc.co.uk)
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Behold, a left-armed warrior shall lead orange-clad men to victory against the green hordes. Amen (sports.yahoo.com)
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Does gallons of booze make for a better advertisement? It sure as hell makes Fark headlines more amusing (wired.com)
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Thu November 17, 2011
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Just like how that eagle dropped a tortoise on Aeschylus' head, Dennis Miller drops endorsement of Herman Cain (mediaite.com)
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$800,000 federal breast-feeding bonus does little to combat notion that government handouts encourage teat suckling (wgal.com)
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U.S. Announces it has weaponized a basement dweller (washingtonpost.com)
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From the you gotta be kidding department, Passat chosen as the car of the year (chicagotribune.com)
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This college professor says the First Amendment guarantees your right to A. Free speech. B. Be on the news. C. Convince everyone your opinions are correct. If you answered B and C, you can probably guess which college he works for (huffingtonpost.com)
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Did you know that Lowe's and Home Depot had a butt improvement aisle (thesmokinggun.com)
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City warns smokers of dangers of "roll your own" cigarettes, like the risk the government won't get $5.50 per pack in taxes (telegram.com)
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Hey Farkers, a random Internet chatroom comment led to Sandusky's arrest. So all the time we spend here is useful after all (content.usatoday.com)
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Saudi women with sexy eyes may be forced to cover them up. (w/ you may need to cover something else up after looking at it pic) (myfoxdc.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pundit asks if Kindle Fire has fragmented the Android market. Fire users ask what an Android is (paidcontent.org)
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Snooki's beauty regimen? Yeah, it's even more disturbing than you would expect (popwatch.ew.com)
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The U.S. banking industry has been in bed with the Euro so much it's starting to look like we might have caught something. Let's just hope there's a shot or an ointment or something for this (bloomberg.com)
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City of Orlando still preparing for NBA All Star Game, halftime entertainment from the Easter Bunny (orlandosentinel.com)
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Gentlemen, no matter how desperate you think they are, no lovely Eastern European lady is going to fall for a dude wearing a beaver-skin hat to hide his mullet (smh.com.au)
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Kelly Clarkson scares men. Fixed that for you (showbizspy.com)
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| (nwtn today) |
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During domestic dispute, man hits his mother with a ham. After short medical treatment, doctors pronounce her completely cured (nwtntoday.com)
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In the name of fighting social and economic inequality, high unemployment, greed, corruption, and undue influence of corporations - Occupy DC is going to F up your commute to work this morning (myfoxdc.com)
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Walmart agrees to settle class-action suit involving alledged anti-trust agreement with Netflix. We get gift cards, the lawyers get hookers and blow (huffingtonpost.com)
|
Wed November 16, 2011
Tue November 15, 2011
Mon November 14, 2011
| |
|
Noted liberal mouthpiece Sen. Tom Coburn: "From tax write-offs for gambling losses, vacation homes, and luxury yachts to subsidies for their ranches and estates, the government is subsidizing the lifestyles of the rich and famous" (huffingtonpost.com)
|
| (Tech Crunch) |
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Company being sued by patent trolls goes on the offensive. May implement "Jack sh*t and go f*ck yourself" strategy in the case of Fark v. Patentroll (techcrunch.com)
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Remember when Ohio drove those predatory payday lenders out of business? That market segment is now being served by "legitimate" banks, who offer short-term loans with 120 - 300% APRs (daytondailynews.com)
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"Oft-bankrupt former fake presidential candidate and television clown Donald Trump announced on Fox and Friends this morning that he is very close to announcing his presidential endorsement." HONK (salon.com)
|
| (Houston Press) |
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This one starts with some parents smoking weed with their kids, continues with an argument, a .22 pistol, a baseball bat and a machete. Then a Pakistani immigrant shows up and it gets weird (houstonpress.com)
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NC couple sues AirTran for $100,000 from the airline for mental and emotional distress due to cockroaches on the plane. AirTran was just happy to have a full flight (dailymail.co.uk)
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National Toy Hall of Fame adds Hot Wheels, dollhouse and blanket. Also known as another Saturday night in mom's basement (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)
|
| (Topless Robot) |
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Bruce Campbell makes a reasonable argument for an Ash-less "Evil Dead" remake. You see, this is why Bruce Campbell is truly the greatest actor of our generation (toplessrobot.com)
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The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay (grantland.com)
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Broncos' fans go full Tebow, demand Denver sign him to a 20+ year contract (comments) (denverpost.com)
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Thanks to unending NRA lobbying, convicted felons are now able to regain their Second Amendment right to own firearms (nytimes.com)
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Reuters writes about the future of online advertising and mentions Fark as a site that generates "a huge amount of loyalty online" (blogs.reuters.com)
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Texas-based Tea Party movement that is hugely anti-voter fraud and is trying to put its volunteers in place to watch polling places now in league with the lunatic who thinks the poor shouldn't vote (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you have dark eyes and moles on your body, there's a good chance you carry a mutant gene. But not the cool type of mutant gene that will qualify you for the X-Men's School for Gifted (couriermail.com.au)
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Did you hear? Women can only keep a secret for 32 minutes (dailymail.co.uk)
|
Sun November 13, 2011
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Cook Islands' attempt to make the Fark main page is successful: "Zac Guildford ran naked and bleeding into a bar, assaulted patrons, then ran off with five women" (smh.com.au)
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Alex Trebek tapped to form new Italian government (nytimes.com)
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Old and busted: Soccer hooligans rioting after a match. New hotness: Women's volleyball hooligans rioting after a match (break.com)
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NY Times: Ok, we've been praising this OWS movement and never giving it any scrutiny, so here it is. It does have shadow leaders who organized it, not a 'spontaneous grass roots' group, and we gave it a free ride until today (nytimes.com)
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CNN explores whether the government should read people's minds. Stay tuned for next week's analysis on whether flying pigs should be bound by conventional aviation rules (religion.blogs.cnn.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Vehicles have crashed into Kathy's fence over 30 times, so she redesigned it to be safer. This is how women are different from men (www2.ljworld.com)
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Can the Jaguars keep the Colts in the Basement? Will the Patriots find a way to lose again? Can the Bills do what they couldn't in two consecutive Super Bowls? It's the NFL Week 10 thread (games start at 1 PM ET on CBS and Fox) (scores.espn.go.com)
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Frank Miller is an old crank who hasn't written or drawn a good comic book since the 1990s. Oh, and he said some stuff about the whole Occupy movement, too (popwatch.ew.com)
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Defendant in the Southwest convicted after trying nine times to kill detective with bazooka, gas, and assorted booby traps. When asked if he was relieved, detective cryptically said only "Meepmeep" and ran off without further comment (sfgate.com)
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Researchers discover hypnosis is a fundamentally different mental state than normal consciousneALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Camera maker Olympus' kept their investment losses in the darkroom for twenty years. Story developing [Insert Photography Pun] (digiphotomag.com)
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Father stabs son during argument. It's a sworded story (news.com.au)
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Family of Peanuts creator Charles Schulz to sell prime commercial parcel. When reached for comment, they said: "WAAAAA WAAAAAAA, WAA WAA WAAA WAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAA" (statesman.com)
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Sat November 12, 2011
Fri November 11, 2011
Thu November 10, 2011
Wed November 09, 2011
| |
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The electronic cigarette has been a pretty good tool to help one stop smoking but it has some unlikely critics and it's not Big Tobacco, it's government officials and antismoking groups (nytimes.com)
|
| (Some Studman69) |
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Herman Cain PAC offers calm support for their candidate against sex harassment allegations. Just kidding, they call the accuser an "ugly b*tch" and claim she works for Taxbama (hermancainpac.com)
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"In the 1970s it was common to come up behind women you hardly knew at their desks and massage their bare shoulders while keeping a conversation going the whole time" Therefore, Herman Cain MUST be innocent (wnd.com)
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Cain says he doesn't even remember the latest woman to accuse him of sexual harrasment; and that givn how many there were, it's kinda ridiculous to expect him to remember each and every one (news.yahoo.com)
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Cain campaign confirms claim that sexual harassment accuser's son works for Politico, which the media is trying to cover up just because it is not true (politico.com)
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Glenn Beck warns that today's Emergency Broadcast System test amounts to a government takeover of your TV and radio. Well yeah, isn't that the general idea? (nydailynews.com)
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Obama to sign executive order to reduce government waste. Fraud, abuse inconsolable (huffingtonpost.com)
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German college students pose for erotic calendar promoting knowledge as sexy. With links in the article to both the men's slideshow and the women's. Equal giggity for all (thelocal.de)
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If you want your media whoring to look reputable, make sure we don'd find out that you have a history of accusing bosses of harassment for small payouts. Really, it doesn't help you case against Cain (cbsnews.com)
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Microsoft, Yahoo and AOL partner up in some kind of Down Syndrome Voltron arrangement (money.cnn.com)
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Tue November 08, 2011
Mon November 07, 2011
| |
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Police shoot First Amendment in the kneecap at Occupy Oakland, for no ostensible reason (boingboing.net)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Scott Walker speech interrupted by awesomeness (front.moveon.org)
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Taiwanese fishermen catch six Somali pirates out of season, throw them back into the sea (bbc.co.uk)
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Cain denies sexual harassment allegations from fourth woman, even if it does make him look positively Clintonian (suntimes.com)
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Heralding what could be a new unit of measurement for incarceration around the world, Nigerian actor released from prison after 25 successful bowel movements (iheartchaos.com)
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Kathleen Willey: Hey when I came forward against Clinton, I had evidence, but the media ignored it except when they wanted to smear me to protect Bill, but with Cain, two anonymous women are considered ironclad facts. There is a double standard (newsbusters.org)
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Let's rename the Department of Homeland Security. Voting enabled (theatlantic.com)
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Gloria Allred is sticking her nose in the Herman Cain harassment saga, this time promising to "introduce a new accuser" to the world (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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After the Herman Cain sexual harassment scandal broke, his wife "took it harder..." I bet she did (huffingtonpost.com)
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Today's "undetermined number of the men grappling in a pile had to be subdued by stun guns" story brought to you by Mankato, Minnesota (twincities.com)
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Two large-breasted women arrested in topless caper at Florida lounge, demonstrating the risks of being bosom buddies. With SFW photos (blogs.tcpalm.com)
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$900 million purchase leads to blow job, Siemens (bloomberg.com)
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Herman Cain was America's first truly "post-racial" candidate-someone for whom race was truly never a factor in his campaign. Until he got accused of sexual harassment anyway (news.yahoo.com)
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Justin Bieber plans to take a DNA test to prove he is not the father of crazy woman's child, and sue her for spreading the completely untrue rumors that he has sex with women (tmz.com)
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Unintentionally funny moments in horror cinema (denofgeek.com)
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Survey by a bunch of women shows that 7th to 12th graders are better sexual harassers than Herman Cain (msnbc.msn.com)
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After Smurfs, the next old cartoon to get the CG animation treatment will be Popeye. I yam what I yam (iheartchaos.com)
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Best science experiment ever: Sending gummy bears to the depths of the South Pacific to study how the pressure will squash them (blog.seattlepi.com)
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I like my coffee like I like my dead men in a Miami home -- COVERED IN BEES (huffingtonpost.com)
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Sun November 06, 2011
Sat November 05, 2011
Fri November 04, 2011
 |
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Unemployment's down to 9%, so Congress was finally able to focus on passing the important stuff like the America's Cup Act (rawstory.com)
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Your GOP at work: Voting to subpoena White House for Solyndra documents and voting to block subpoenas of BP for oil spill documents. Fark.com: On the SAME day (dailykos.com)
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Groupon IPO shares soar to $31, market cap near $20 billion. That's a lot of spa treatments and awkward wine tastings (reuters.com)
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Remember, remember, the high-budget Hollywood production loosely related to an event that the British government used to keep its population in line (news.yahoo.com)
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MSW pretends to be MD for at least eight years, ordering treatments and testifying for a county court the whole time (detnews.com)
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Time to update your periodic table again as scientist officially name three new elements: Darmstadtium (Ds), Roentgenium (Rg) and Copernicium (Cn). what would have been your suggestion? (physorg.com)
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"He is believed to have dug up the remains of young women at various cemeteries and put dresses on them" (bbc.co.uk)
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X-Men: First Class is getting a sequel. A sequel to a prequel, what sort of quel is that? (io9.com)
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MF Global CEO hires criminal defense attorney because of all those pesky unnecessary criminal laws. He just needs government off of his back (abcnews.go.com)
|
| (What Does It Mean?) |
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US thrown into panic as a soldier wrote his mother saying to "prepare for the end of the world" as massive amounts of equipment, troops are secreted through his base, headed towards "staging areas" throughout America (whatdoesitmean.com)
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Yay: Unemployment rate dropped in October. Meh: to 9.0% (nytimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Want to talk about government waste? How about $103 million for a bicycle trail (downsizinggovernment.org)
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 |
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David Freese could score with any number of not unattractive women (withleather.uproxx.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
"What did you get, Charlie Brown?" "I got a ramen" (funnyathletetweets.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
|
Norway's claim to fame: Bronze statues of men fighting babies (warning: some nudity--mostly penises) (awesome-robo.com)
|
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The Atheist Ten Commandments (usatoday.com)
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More family photos with pets. With lots of 'awkward' for future trauma, embarrassment, and FUN (today.msnbc.msn.com)
|
Thu November 03, 2011
Wed November 02, 2011
| |
|
Lobbyist challenges BBC to put more women on radio. BBC to argue that at eight o'clock they might explode (guardian.co.uk)
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New and busted: A Republican Party in thrall to evangelicals. Old hotness: A Republican Party where women smoked cigars, gambled, drank booze, and weren't afraid to show a little "phony bush of pectoral hair" (life.com)
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Tea Party freshmen are worried that Super Committee won't do what they want. Welcome to Washington, kids (washingtonpost.com)
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A third woman has now come forward to reveal she was sexually harrassed by Cain. Who knew there were so many racist women? (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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 |
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Can you feel it? It's almost here. We're all about to get swept up in it. Here it is, at any moment...it's the Newtmentum (tnr.com)
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Mets settle suit with woman injured by falling fat man, decide against playing "It's Raining Men" at Shea Stadium (nypost.com)
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Top 12 movie moments from Pixar. Try not to cry like a biatch at some of these, okay? (spoilers) (ew.com)
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Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. That's one way to get out of the basement (espn.go.com)
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The Federal Reserve slashes its forecast for economic growth, raises projections for unemployment, and says Europe's debt crisis will probably wreck the U.S. economy. In uplifting economic news: *crickets* (reuters.com)
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| |
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Man tricks his girlfriend into believing he'd been kidnapped by men in skeleton masks on Halloween, gets treated to jail cell and multiple criminal charges for tampering with evidence and drug possession (helenair.com)
|
| (Houston Press) |
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Texas judge sentences disabled teen to harsh punishment for file sharing (blogs.houstonpress.com)
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Well, the right has picked its defense of Cain: sexual harassment is just a girl with a filing fee and a printer (nationalreview.com)
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America's Most Wanted to return to TV December 2nd on Lifetime, will now focus only on deadbeat dads, adulterers, wifebeaters, stalkers, and women who are oppressed by them (washingtonpost.com)
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I hear that Herman Cain raised big money from harassment story (ajc.com)
|
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Apparently telling customers that a rival car dealer is an Islamic militant who used the profits from his dealership to fund terrorists crosses the line from "agressive salesmanship" to "a $7.5 million libel judgement" (reuters.com)
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What's the point of controlling two branches of state government if you can't gerrymander the districts to your advantage? (politico.com)
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Kelly Osbourne's most embarrassing moment was discovering her fiance was cheating with a tranny. To be fair, you can understand his confusion (uk.omg.yahoo.com)
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Lingerie shop has employees wearing tags displaying their cup size so that men shopping for bras don't make boobs of themselves (thelocal.se)
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| |
|
OWS movement now has 21 new members, each fired because the cafe that employed them could no longer support itself due to lost business caused by the OWS protests (foxnews.com)
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| |
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News: Bank of America forecloses on homeowner, three years after his house is destroyed by a hurricane. Fark: The homeowner had continued to make mortgage payments on the property (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| (katu.com) |
|
Grocery store refuses payment in coins. That's change we can't believe in (katu.com)
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| |
|
Montreal signs midfielder Ubiparipovic for debut season. That is--until someone tricks him into saying his name backward and sends him back to the 5th dimension (foxnews.com)
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| |
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Government report states future violent gang members can be spotted at age three (telegraph.co.uk)
|
Tue November 01, 2011
Mon October 31, 2011
 |
|
Joan Rivers says the only thing Occupy Wall Street is missing is gay men (nerve.com)
|
| |
|
"Two men dressed as the undead were arrested on charges of assaulting the living." Bonus: At a nudist camp. Extra bonus: What a nekked zombie's mug shot looks like (tampabay.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
You know what Cain did that got him the Harassment charge? He told her that she was as tall as his wife and made a hand motion. Well based on that 99% of men are guilty of sexual harrassment (campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Will Stadler and Waldforf do commentary? Will the great white Sheamus meet me me me me me me? Will Miss Piggy beat up some Divas? Find out on WWE Raw live on USA 8pm (ewrestlingnews.com)
|
| |
|
Herman Cain admits sexual harassment allegations, saying, "Yep, I totally did that. Brother, you should have seen her. Legs all the way up to here. I mean... DAMN." Just kidding, he calls them "baseless" (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)
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| |
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NYPD might be sending drunk and aggressive homeless people to the Occupy Wall Street park in order to discredit the movement. Protesters can't kick them out because... well, they're the 99%, too (gawker.com)
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| |
|
Your 2011 candy hierarchy to the left, arguments over whether Hershey makes tile grout to the right (boingboing.net)
|
| |
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Brazilian soccer commentators aren't passionate about the most beautiful game in the world (youtube.com)
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Some people will do anything for beer, including breaking into apartments and stabbing people with corkscrews when they fight back (chicagotribune.com)
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Back there, I could fly a gunship. I could drive a tank. I operated million-dollar equipment. Back here, I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS (reuters.com)
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Old and busted: Vegan food. New Hotness: Caveman Food. Not to mention you can save 15% by switching your car insurance (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Your science experiment sucks since it doesn't involve a hot french chick on friggin' superconducting hoverboard (wired.co.uk)
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| |
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If you manage to sneak past the cops and firemen who respond to the burglar alarm you just set off, it might be a wise choice not to decide at that moment to play with the lights and sirens on the pretty fire truck (blogs.sacbee.com)
|
Sun October 30, 2011
Sat October 29, 2011
Fri October 28, 2011
Thu October 27, 2011
| |
|
Study finds men are quicker to say 'I love you' than women are -- proving once again that men will say whatever they think they have to in order to get laid (telegraph.co.uk)
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Two gay men become transgender lesbians, then become legally married after one of them gets a sex change. The Aristocrats (dailymail.co.uk)
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| |
|
The top five things that the Muppets MUST do when they appear on WWE Monday Night Raw. We *so* need Statler and Waldorf on commentary (bleacherreport.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Well, this graph pretty much blows the whole "iPhones are overpriced crap" statement clear out of the water (theunderstatement.com)
|
| |
|
Groupon offers 10% of its sales staff a free trip to the unemployment line (chicagotribune.com)
|
| (WSB TV) |
|
Family says "aw hell no" to fire consuming their 3rd floor apartment, tosses infant to rescuers, lowers toddler via rope, then climbs down the outside of the building "like they were Spiderman" (wsbtv.com)
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| |
|
RIP, Army Ranger Sgt. Kristoffer Domeij. 14 deployments, 5,000 missions, and he was part of the team that rescued Jessica Lynch (seattlepi.com)
|
| (Radio Netherlands Worldwide) |
|
Bad idea: Granting amnesty for dictatorship's human rights violations, like Uruguay's parliament did in 1986. Good idea: Un-granting previously granted amnesty, like Uruguay's parliament did Tuesday (rnw.nl)
|
| (SNY) |
|
Listening to concerns that their losing is due in part to their deep outfield demensions, the Mets respond by changing their outfield walls to blue. World Champions. 2012. Book it. Done (metsblog.com)
|
| |
|
And this is a nice little four- bedroom, three bathroom, 3,200 square foot house with granite countertops, finished basement and a Lamborghini Diablo (myfoxdc.com)
|
| |
|
Employment up 41%. I'm sorry, did I say employment? I meant Exxon's profits (money.cnn.com)
|
 |
|
Unless emergency procedures have changed, complimentary vaginal exams are usually not part of the ambulance ride to the hospital (stuff.co.nz)
|
| |
|
Your girlfriend comes home early at the same time another girl you met on Craigslist arrives at your apartment. Do you: C) Call the cops to report a burglary in progress? (denverpost.com)
|
Wed October 26, 2011
 |
|
The State Department has spent $70,000 to stock all its foreign embassies with hundreds of copies of Obama's memoir from 1995. Change we can believe in (washingtontimes.com)
|
 |
|
Eric Cantor communciations director hasn't figured out the "secret Twitter to follow sexy women" trick yet (mediabistro.com)
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 |
|
Just because you're a Birther, Oath Keeper and chaplain convicted of weapons charges while trying to citizen's arrest government officials, doesn't mean you can't also be a fan of dildos and tranny porn (wonkette.com)
|
| |
|
Elementary schools ban scary Halloween costumes, insist on "caring costumes" even though most sexy nurse costumes won't fit seven-year-olds (canada.com)
|
| (azfamily.com) |
|
Mother who exposed dirty fast food play areas gets banned from McDonald's. Is that supposed to be some kind of punishment? (azfamily.com)
|
| |
|
US government announces those believed responsible for the banking collapse are now to be held accountable, starting with execs at Goldman Sachs (dealbook.nytimes.com)
|
| |
|
PETA: Because killer whales at SeaWorld are slaves, that magically makes them protected under the 13th amendment. Wait, what? (msnbc.msn.com)
|
| (MDC.mo.gov) |
|
The Missouri Department of Conservation would like to warn hunters and other nature enthusiasts about various outdoor dangers this season, including snakes, mountain lions, zombies and bears. Wait, what? (mdc.mo.gov)
|
| (Windsor Star) |
|
Not news: Car dealership offers $10,000 toward the sale or lease of a car for whoever hits a hole-in-one during local golf tournament. Fark: A 13-year-old does it (windsorstar.com)
|
Tue October 25, 2011
 |
|
Premature orgasm affects women...ohh, OHH GOD...too, study suggests (livescience.com)
|
| |
|
Male dolphins act as each others wingmen to help them seal the deal with the ladies (physorg.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Occupy Wall Street has amassed nearly a half million dollars in donations, putting them in the top 1% of Occupy movements (businessinsider.com)
|
| (Some Gal) |
|
Periodic Table of HTML 5 elements (joshduck.com)
|
| |
|
Leonardo Dicaprio dating Romanian model Madalina Diana Ghenea. I don't know what he sees in her. She's barely one of the most attractive women I've seen in my entire life (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
|
| |
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To that segment of Fark that smells like a baboon's ass: You should be ashamed of yourselves (theatlantic.com)
|
| |
|
Siemens going limp where The Sun doesn't shine. Panels (bloomberg.com)
|
| |
|
Remember how we had to bail out bankers? It looks like we bailed them out so well that they have more money than they can find investment opportunities for. Oh, and come get your savings, they are tired of keeping it for you (nytimes.com)
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| |
|
"The Idea House is an environmentally perfect house that leaves no carbon footprint. It generates more energy that it uses, which means that it is more than a carbon-zero house. It is a carbon-minus house" (cnngo.com)
|
| (Times Union) |
|
It's not a party until you have 300 students in one apartment. Ta-da (timesunion.com)
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| |
|
Karzai: That was not intended to be a factual statement (nypost.com)
|
| |
|
Texas Instruments warns their fourth quarter may have an E at the end (cnbc.com)
|
| (Winnipeg Free Press) |
|
Illuminati symbols on American currency? Canadians up the ante by finding sex toys, naked women and secret codes on their new bills (winnipegfreepress.com)
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| |
|
Juan Williams: "People are fed up with pledges that enforce far right or far left orthodoxy and being told they lack a spine when they listen to the other side of an argument or call for a political compromise to reach a solution" (thehill.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Look, citizen, just because we broke down your door, smashed all your windows, busted holes in your wall and left the smell of tear gas while you waited in one of our complimentary jail cells doesn't make us responsible. Sleep tight, citizen (sacramento.cbslocal.com)
|
| (Put This On) |
|
Pre-cryogenically frozen Austin Powers captured sitting next to Ringo in scene from the new George Harrison documentary (putthison.com)
|
Mon October 24, 2011
Sun October 23, 2011
Sat October 22, 2011
Fri October 21, 2011
| |
|
Men who view internet porn are more likely to be unable to perform with real women. I thought being unable to perform with a real woman was the whole reason for viewing internet porn (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| |
|
And here comes the GOP presidential candidates' opinions on Obama's Iraq withdrawal announcement (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
|
 |
|
Half of Indian women are anemic. That's weak (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)
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Environmental deregulation would save business, create jobs, cause a 450% increase in birth defects, stimulate the economy...wait, what? (labspaces.net)
|
| |
|
Report: WVU to the Big 12. Closest would-be opponent is Iowa State, 871 miles away. Finally, some sanity in this realignment mess (articles.boston.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Women are more likely then men to be seriously injured in a car crash because crash test dummies are designed to look more like men. Mmm Mmm Mmm (heraldsun.com.au)
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| |
|
Venture investment picks up. Let's see, I'll take an Ooo-ray, a few henchmen, and, ooh, can we get that doomsday device to go? (cnbc.com)
|
| |
|
Real-life super hero movement growing. Come for the Michigan Batman, stay for the Michigan Batman. Michigan. Batman (washingtonpost.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
CopTip: After pulling over women for driving infractions, telling them you can "work something out", and fondling them in a 7-11 bathroom, don't keep the panties. In your locker. At the police station (610wiod.com)
|
| |
|
Research finds those who tell themselves they've done a good job when they haven't may end up depressed -- or in a position of management (upi.com)
|
| |
|
IPad shipments are triple last year's, which is good news for Android makers since the market as a whole quadrupled (businessweek.com)
|
| (972) |
|
"Israeli activists and commentators got tired very quickly of Netanyahu pushing himself into every scene with released soldier Gilad Shalit," so, naturally, they went straight to photoshop (972mag.com)
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| |
|
Cain: "It's not the government's role to tell people what decisions to make." Interviewer: "Even about abortion?" Cain: "Exactly. Aww crap, I forgot I was a GOP candidate" (wonkette.com)
|
| |
|
What if we paid off the Government debt? (npr.org)
|
 |
|
Ladies and gentlemen, the world's greatest baby costume (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)
|
 |
|
Hall of Fame women's basketball coach Geno Auriemma calls out Notre Dame and kicks Touchdown Jesus right in the lady-parts (courant.com)
|
Thu October 20, 2011
Wed October 19, 2011
| (US NEWS) |
|
News: Obama makes a statement without the use of his teleprompter. Yes, this really is news. Fark: The news report states that his comment was one sentence long (usnews.com)
|
| |
|
Most women have bisexual tendencies. We are at giggity alert red. Repeat, giggity alert red (shine.yahoo.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Dear Customer, Thank you for quietly notifying us of a glaring security flaw in our website. Please accept this complimentary gift basket containing a police visit, blame for the issue, a bill for fixing it and termination of your account (techdirt.com)
|
| |
|
Georgia Supreme Court to hear arguments in alligator case. What a crock (ajc.com)
|
| |
|
Cain: Banks want to help people but the mean old government won't let them (thehill.com)
|
| |
|
Paris Jackson joined the flag football team at her private school, and has already received a bonafide recruitment letter from the Lingerie Football League. Seriously (bittenandbound.com)
|
| |
|
Study finds that President Obama "has suffered the most unrelentingly negative treatment" of all presidential candidates over the past five months. This is bad news for the 'liberal media' (cbsnews.com)
|
| |
|
Disneyland objects after environmental groups complain that Excalibur contains too much lead. Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you (orlandosentinel.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
French-Moroccan muslims arrested in San Antonio may have terror link after photographs of courthouses, water systems' from around the US found in the van. Nothing to see here, probably just some judgemental plumbers on holiday (radio.woai.com)
|
| |
|
Good news: Your daughter announced her engagement. Bad news: She's 15, missing in Mexico, and is pregnant. Fark: Announced it all on Facebook (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| |
|
Obama endorses changes to the Sarbanes-Oxley Act to once again allow companies to pilfer employee pensions and rape shareholders of their investments to pad the balance sheet. Change is good? (theglobeandmail.com)
|
| |
|
High heels are rising in popularity...for men (dailymail.co.uk)
|
 |
|
"Some of us have consistently opposed these trillion-dollar handouts and redistributions of wealth for years and held politicians in BOTH parties accountable" and it wasn't the Occupy Wall Street movement (michellemalkin.com)
|
| (Taunton Gazette) |
|
Boy is not allowed to have sax on the bus anymore because his instrument is too big (tauntongazette.com)
|
Tue October 18, 2011
| |
|
"Is there a lot of pressure that comes with the Ramen King title?" "I wouldn't call it pressure. It is a responsibility. A responsibility to bring great ramen to the world" (cnngo.com)
|
| |
|
Success of experimental malaria vaccine is not giving people chills (washingtonpost.com)
|
| (Some Girl) |
|
Depression ups women's risk of dementia. Great, so now I'm sad and I don't know why (winnipegfreepress.com)
|
| |
|
Zombie injuries not life threatening, seamen leaving ferries in Greek ports, and an explanation of Herman Cain's pro-llama agenda: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/9 - 10/15 (fark.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The Top 10 TV shows that make you think. Amazingly, one Fox show is mentioned (slideshow, VE) (buddytv.com)
|
| |
|
If you plan on being a part of the Occupy Wall Street movement, you need this app that lets you quickly alert your family, friends, and lawyers that the cops have arrested you (download.cnet.com)
|
| |
|
Ron Paul releases his own budget plan: trim a trillion dollars his first year in office, end the departments of everything, end foreign wars, kill social security, let States decide everything. RON PAUL (npr.org)
|
| |
|
23 mentally unstable Swedish women convicted for possession of child pornography, wrecking perfect fantasy with just one word (canada.com)
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Man invents cone-shaped pizza for those rare times you have to leave your mom's basement, at least you can still eat pizza (lifehacker.com)
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From the 'Shiat we really didn't need, ever' department: Paula Deen's butter flavored chapstick (dlisted.com)
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It's a cyclops shark, therefore your argument is invalid. (with video goodness) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Beer in Space tour planned to begin in 2013. Because there's only one element in the universe that could possibly make the majestic view of the Earth from outer space even more god-like, and it's beer. Sweet, otherworldly beer (cnngo.com)
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Student protests hurting military recruitment efforts? Draft the little bastards (huffingtonpost.com)
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Mother tries to get daughter into prestigious school by: A) teacher recommendations B) video resume C) spreading sex disease lies about rival applicant (stuff.co.nz)
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Anthony Bourdain interviewed for Playboy, reaffirms his hatred for vegans, recommends men cook omelets for their ladies: "You look good doing it, and it's a nice thing to do for somebody you just had sex with" (content.usatoday.com)
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Mon October 17, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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"Wet Cement Fight Ends in Arrests." And, hopefully, a hosedown (localnews8.com)
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| (The Chronicle of Higher Education) |
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The intellectual underpinnings of Occupy Wall Street are from Madagascar. I like to movement, movement. You like to movement, movement. Everybody, movement (chronicle.com)
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New study by a spunky team of researchers offers insight into the storage of animal sperm. Brought to you by Siemens (physorg.com)
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The infamous multiple-personality case known as Sybil was merely the creation of three women trolling the psychological community (salon.com)
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Sue Menger, Hollywood super-agent, dead at 79. How she cleaned up her office after The Aristocrats audition, I'll never know (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Pilot realizes in mid-air that he picked the wrong week to stop having his instruments sabotaged with glue (dailymail.co.uk)
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FoxNews publishes an article supporting the Occupy movement. No really, they actually did. Seriously, read the article (foxnews.com)
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Government searches of your garbage have doubled in the past year. Don't be paranoid, citizen, it's for your own good, they would never use the data for anything nefarious (dailymail.co.uk)
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...and the Occupy Whatever movement just got two of the worst endorsements possible (dailycaller.com)
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It's all fun, democratic and protesty until your flea bagger leftist Occupy Portland movement yells "F*@$ THE USA" (youtube.com)
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Dying man agrees to be mummified for TV documentary. Details of show still under wraps (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Northern Echo) |
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Fire department frees drunk man from toilet seat. That's a relief (thenorthernecho.co.uk)
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Sun October 16, 2011
Sat October 15, 2011
Fri October 14, 2011
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"The aforementioned feedback was loud and clear on many movie-following websites, including Ain't It Cool News, SlashFilm, Fark." Wait ...what? (webpronews.com)
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Planking, puppets, topless women and 14 other photos of dumb things protesters do (trutv.com)
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| (Somebody's appreciated) |
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Inside the world's best employer: "There's a rule that there must be food within 100 ft of every employee." Somehow, subby's cold cup'O'ramen doesn't look as tempting as it did (Lots of jealousy inspiring pics) (business.asiaone.com)
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Drunk, wearing only boots and sprawled unconscious on your neighbor's lawn? Actually, now that you mention it, that does sound like an excellent way to go through life (nj.com)
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| (Some Potato) |
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My potato is a tortoise. Your argument is invalid (digitalspy.com)
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House Republicans have held 159 votes against environmental protections in just 133 days in session, including 83 targeting the EPA. "This is, without doubt, the most anti-environmental Congress in history" (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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A Cain-Obama match up would be a textbook showdown on which direction Americans want government to go in the coming years (newamericamedia.org)
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Seamen leaving ferries in Greek ports (news.yahoo.com)
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Friday Fun Photo Match Game: Match mugshot to item stolen (ham, thong underwear, breast enlargement inserts, python cowboy boots, or 5-Hour Energy) (thesmokinggun.com)
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Canadian government has identified some animal-rights groups as terrorists (news.nationalpost.com)
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When you're trying to figure out what's clogging the pipes down at the wastewater treatment plant, you're probably not guessing a 32-inch eel (with wastewater pipe clogging eel pic) (courant.com)
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Thu October 13, 2011
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Latest ratings for Two and a Half Men: Not winning (dailymail.co.uk)
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House Republicans love pregnant women and they love babies, so that is why they are trying to pass a bill that would allow hospitals to refuse abortions to pregnant women, even if the woman miscarried and will die without one (littlegreenfootballs.com)
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You'll never guess what's in the GOP's "Real American Jobs Act". Hint: It rhymes with "flax guts". And "reliminating benvironmental crandards" (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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"Captain, Captain, The ship is sinking, what do we do?" "Quickly men, tie more heavy lead weights to the hull" (reuters.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In case the Boston collapse wasn't already epic enough, the latest development: Papi's pondering pinstripes (newyork.cbslocal.com)
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What's creepier than an augmented, skin-bleached Filipino who thinks he is Superman and hangs out with kids all day? Not much. (w/ video) (myfoxdc.com)
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| (Olney Daily Mail) |
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Some women celebrate their birthday with shopping, eating, or romantic nonsense. They obviously haven't heard about the annual Squirrel Count in Olney, Illinois (olneydailymail.com)
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Dear Penthouse Forums: I was hitch-hiking along the freeway in Lower Gweru, when this carload of women pull over... ... ... (WTF: They had to drug me??) (dailymail.co.uk)
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We've secretly replaced the Daily Mail's usual "why can't women find love" article with a well-written, thoughtful, and cogent article from an expert. Let's see if anyone noticed (dailymail.co.uk)
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Argument over barbecue ribs leads to an arrest for destruction of property, assault.Oh, Flor--wait, Iowa? Really? (press-citizen.com)
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Wed October 12, 2011
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Former FBI agent stops* Ponzi-like investment fraud scheme [*after he's arrested and charged] (washingtonpost.com)
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Joe Walsh (R-Illinois): "I had a verbal agreement with my ex NOT to pay child support." That counts, right? RIGHT? (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Real Guy) |
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Vancouver restaurant bans peeing while standing up because of the men-can't-aim problem for their one unisex bathroom (blogs.vancouversun.com)
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Honda to hire 1000 workers at Indiana plant. Because they are a non-unionized, foreign corporation that didn't get a government bail out or shady loan, I'm sure this is somehow a bad thing (indystar.com)
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Chris Tucker foreclosure: mansion has spa in master bedroom, outdoor kitchen, pirate ship basement, wait...what? (orlandosentinel.com)
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Annoyed by player comments, Rex Ryan finally takes offense, trades Derrick Mason (nydailynews.com)
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PayPal announces new online payment login service they already have frozen your access to (finance.yahoo.com)
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University of Iowa may allow a fraternity for gay, bisexual and "progressive" men. The lesbians already have sororities (press-citizen.com)
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Mitt Romney proposes "partnership agreements" for gay couples who happen to be emotionless cyborgs (politics.salon.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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While the Packers are selling stock to raise funds for improvements to their stadium, the Vikings have decided the public doesn't need a say in where the funds come from (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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FDIC approves Volcker Rule; banks announce $25 monthly "Volcker Regulatory Recoupment Cost" Fee (usatoday.com)
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Five reasons the Occupy movement has right wingers soiling their pants (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (My Fox Philly) |
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Clubhouse of Mummers - burly dockworkers who dress up in feathery carnival costumes and strut drunkenly through Philadelphia on New Year's Day - raided in prostitution sting. As if any of those guys could pass for women (myfoxphilly.com)
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Woman charged with bigamy after stealing a truck. And with a mugshot like that, it's no wonder she was able to steal two men's hearts (cbsatlanta.com)
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Precious snowflake who was "swept along by 'mob mentality'" when he was arrested for looting during London riots, gets his sentence cut in half because he's having trouble sleeping due to stress (telegraph.co.uk)
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