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Headlines matching 'lot'
Sat February 11, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Forbes) Interesting The average cost of a new drug is $4,000,000,000 . That's a lot of Doritos  (forbes.com) (53)
(Wimp) Video You can either watch the correct way to pack your dress clothes into a suitcase without wrinkling, or you can suit yourself  (wimp.com) (34)


Fri February 10, 2012
(BusinessWeek) Hero Mr. Bay wants to kill the QR code. Hopefully WITH LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS AND FORCED DIALOGUE  (businessweek.com) (51)
(My Fox DC) Asinine Man arrested for felony domestic violence for putting a 3-year-old child in a clothes dryer for punishment. (w/pic of cretin who looks like he went through the dryer himself)  (myfoxdc.com) (51)
(Some Joe C. Sidekick) Followup Kid Rock steps out from Waffle House melee to refute his Not-Made-In-Detroit clothing line charges; "Let me first start off by cordially inviting you to go f*ck yourself"  (kidrock.com) (152)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool "The Hobbit" just got a lot more fookin' awesome  (aintitcool.com) (119)
(CNN) Followup Arizona court forces potential candidate off of city council ballot because her English isn't good enough, setting a dangerous precedent that may leave the entirety of the south ungoverned  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (412)
(Science Daily) Scary Scientists find brains of spiders are so large they fill their body cavities and overflow into their legs, meaning Clock Spider is probably plotting to take over the world  (sciencedaily.com) (37)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail When emptying your pockets at a security checkpoint, you might not want to put your pot in the little tray  (suntimes.com) (29)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Sad The pilot of thoroughbred horse racing drama Luck on HBO was missing the traditional ASPCA "no animals were harmed during the filming of this program" blessing. PETA thought you ought to know there's a reason for that  (insidetv.ew.com) (91)
(Komo) Cool Lots of rainbows in Seattle today as WA becomes the first state to pass marriage equality by popular vote  (komonews.com) (517)
(SlashFilm) Cool New photos from the set of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. There's a lot at stake here  (slashfilm.com) (50)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Some Guy) Plug Farkette Elizabeth (FL) is trying to win a trip to Europe and become an ambassador for America's next generation of women pilots. She's currently trailing by only 100 votes. Click the Video Contest tab to vote  (womenofaviationweek.org) (372)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Lots of things can send you to an early grave - this is definitely one of them  (myfoxdc.com) (17)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida "Police spoke to the man, who said he had just gotten out of the shower and was walking past the window. He said he did not realize there were a lot of people across the street who could see him"  (palmbeachpost.com) (43)


Mon February 06, 2012
(My Northwest) Unlikely Amazon hopes to satisfy customers that enjoy long lines, crowded parking lots, and surly retail clerks  (mynorthwest.com) (28)
(ESPN) Cool Dispirited Arsenal kicks off a desperate claw for fourth place, Suarez returns to Liverpool, with lots of action culminating in a Sunday morning finale between Chelsea and Manchester. It's your weekend EPL thread  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (497)
(LA Times) Ironic Woman astounded at people lining up for new Target clothing line... while waiting for said clothing line  (latimes.com) (46)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Police arrest a woman who smelled like alcohol and kept trying to take off her clothes like it's a bad thing  (ajc.com) (47)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Q2) Scary Pilots say any landing you can walk away from is a good landing--even if you have to walk through the living room and out the front door of the house you crashed into. With pic  (ktvq.com) (50)


Fri February 03, 2012
(My Fox DC) Sad Man died while playing video games at internet cafe, but the blank stare and smell of soiled clothing allowed him to go unnoticed by fellow gamers for nine hours  (myfoxdc.com) (147)


Thu February 02, 2012
(BusinessWeek) Misc Petrobras $25 billion worth of bids offers lots of support to sagging petroboobie economy  (businessweek.com) (3)
(LA Observed) Spiffy Ed Wood's long lost TV pilot shown at Sundance. Imagine "The Big Bang Theory" with Tor Johnson  (laobserved.com) (20)
(YouTube) Video US soldier serving Afghanistan brings a lot of dust into his daughter's kindergarten class  (youtube.com) (29)
(Scientific American) Fail Thanks a lot, plants  (scientificamerican.com) (36)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) News Ferry in New Guinea carrying 350 sinks. That's a lot of sinks  (ajc.com) (37)
(Gizmodo) Cool Pilot channels his inner Sully and saves airplane after propeller falls off in midflight  (gizmodo.com) (39)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Fox News) Unlikely Police seize 1500 pounds of pot from NY apartment, estimate its street value at $7.5 million. Dude, $5000 a pound? In New York? Must have been some crappy stuff  (foxnews.com) (56)
(Boston.com) Obvious Michelle Bachmann has campaign debt. Mitt Romney has lots of money. Romney wants Bachmann's endorsement. What happens next?  (boston.com) (41)
(NYPost) Silly NYPD officers no longer allowed to wear NYPD clothing  (nypost.com) (38)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Residents of Buffalo NY found to buy most lottery tickets in the nation as desperate residents try anything to escape the city  (marketwatch.com) (9)
(MSNBC) Strange Spider's detachable penis finishes without him. This comes in handy a lot of the time  (msnbc.msn.com) (26)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Starpulse) Silly Madonna says she's going to keep all her clothes on during the Super Bowl halftime show, so at least it will be an original performance  (starpulse.com) (63)
(TMZ) Followup The more you know: Woman who drank donkey semen in never-to-be-aired Fear Factor episode confesses "It's a lot thicker" than the human variety  (tmz.com) (156)
(LA Times) Sad Nurseries urged to look for signs of drug-addicted babies, such as if the babies sleep a lot, soil themselves, or speak only in incoherent babble  (latimes.com) (27)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Celebslam) Interesting "Supermodel bikini butt lotioner" might be the best job in the world (w/ photographic evidence of course)  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (74)
(Beatcalls) Florida You have a fight with your pregnant girlfriend - do you a) take the blame even if it's not your fault. b) walk away and come back when things cool down. c) rip off all of her clothes and leave her naked in the street. HINT: Florida Tag  (beatcalls.com) (64)


Sun January 29, 2012
(SeattlePI) Sappy Restaurant owner discovers that over the years, people have tacked more than $10,000 in one-dollar bills to his cafe's walls. Donates 3-grand to the Boy Scouts and the rest to a hospital. Man, did those bills have a lot of dust on them  (seattlepi.com) (73)
(Huffington Post) Unlikely Mystery lottery winner knows he's won $14.3 million but doesn't want it. That's a lot of trips back to the Bizarro world  (huffingtonpost.com) (80)


Sat January 28, 2012
(Huffington Post) Amusing A Republican member of the Indiana General Assembly withdrew his bill to create a pilot program for drug testing welfare applicants Friday after one of his Democratic colleagues amended the measure to require drug testing for lawmakers  (huffingtonpost.com) (110)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Boing Boing) Interesting From the "well, this explains a lot" files: Political contributions from financial sector increased 700% since 1990  (boingboing.net) (26)
(Detroit Free Press) Cool Antichrist... Antichrist... Antichrist... PAYDAY  (freep.com) (11)
(BBC) Hero American sniper with 255 kills asked if he feels remorse. "When I do go face God there is going to be lots of things I will have to account for, but killing any of those people is not one of them"  (bbc.co.uk) (563)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Now there's something you don't see every day: porn stars with their clothes on. Go ahead and look, we won't judge you. (slideshow)  (nydailynews.com) (112)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting "I've had sex with 1000 men, and I don't care if people judge me," says woman who apparently has sex with a lot of drunk men  (mirror.co.uk) (170)
(ABC) Stupid Woman finds $1 million winning lottery ticket in the trash. Naturally, 2 people are suing her  (abcnews.go.com) (101)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Slate) Strange Why the sizes of women's clothing are meaningless and have gone insane  (slate.com) (331)
(The Daily Beast) Strange Fashion designers have their annual runaway fashiongasm, and the results are...well...um...people actually pay money for this crap? (w/pics of hot women in ugly clothes)  (thedailybeast.com) (26)
(NYPost) Amusing Today's HS art teacher banging the daylights out of her students after plying them with pot and alcohol brought to you by NYC (w/you'd spank her with your paint brush too pic)  (nypost.com) (40)


Wed January 25, 2012
(NBC Bay Area) Interesting 10 reasons Indianapolis will be a lot more fun than you think-- including the Bob Knight Reflecting Pool and the world's largest meat statue  (nbcbayarea.com) (115)
(First Coast News) Florida It's a case of who's creepier - the guy who ditched his kids in the car or the guy lurking in the parking lot watching the kids ditched in the car  (downtownjax.firstcoastnews.com) (65)
(Wired) Followup January 25th, 1945: the US begins water fluoridation. Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?  (wired.com) (106)
(ABC Action News) Florida Urban coyotes loving living in cemetery because it's quiet, has plenty of cover, lots of chew toys  (abcactionnews.com) (21)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Gawker) Spiffy Veteran without health insurance and in need of a new kidney accidentally buys lottery ticket, wins $14.3 million. First thing he plans to buy is health insurance  (gawker.com) (90)
(EITB) Cool Iceman is back behind the Lotus wheel at the Valencia track  (eitb.com) (53)
(ProBoxing-Fans) Followup Remember that guy in boxing with the crazy spiky hair and outlandish personality, clothes and bank account? Whaa happened?  (proboxing-fans.com) (38)
(Sun Sentinel) Interesting Q: A cow's head, lots of truck tires, fresh fruit & very rarely, human remains. A: Things that wash up on Fort Lauderdale beaches  (sun-sentinel.com) (22)


Sun January 22, 2012
(LA Times) Amusing It's kind of like the plot to "Footloose," just replace dancing with eating Big Macs  (latimes.com) (80)
(Deadspin) Fail FOX aired an English Premier League match live on broadcast TV for the first time. Too bad lots of affiliates decided "Corky Romano" was more compelling television  (deadspin.com) (141)
(WMBF) Amusing "Jasiak told responding officers he did not know where his clothes were"  (wmbfnews.com) (24)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Yahoo) Florida Florida cinches 3 out of 5 top slots for the America's Most Stressful Cities, 2012 FTA - "Standout factor: Tampa is in the 97th percentile for suicides"  (realestate.yahoo.com) (122)
(Some Guy) Amusing For those of us who watched every moment of the Al Franken recount saga online and have not yet found anything as gripping and exiting, I offer you the "Scott Walker Recall Ballot Scan Cam". Winter political excitement at its finest  (twitter.com) (58)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Daily Mail) Spiffy It must be really cold in Hawaii, because Rihanna's clothes keep shrinking. NTTAWWT  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)
(My Fox DC) Obvious Fox News notices that comic books have a lot more sex and violence since back when they were young. "It's sort of like a fictionalized Playboy for kids at its worst"  (myfoxdc.com) (70)
(Talking Points Memo) Fail Iowa GOP: Santorum won Iowa and we're going declare it a tie. BTW, we accidentally lost eight precincts worth of ballots so vote Republican  (talkingpointsmemo.com) (99)


Wed January 18, 2012
(Network World) Spiffy Network World gives FARK lots of credit during the SOPA blackout by telling its readers "As is generally the case, they're marching to a different beat over at Fark" (update 3)  (networkworld.com) (0)
(STV.tv) Fail Even if Jesus is your co-pilot, cops will still fine you for reading your Bible and driving at the same time  (news.stv.tv) (14)
(NYPost) Silly NJ Governor Chris Christie says that if the NY Giants win the Superbowl NJ should pay for them to parade around the Meadowlands parking lot in lieu of NYC paying for a parade down Broadway in Manhattan  (nypost.com) (104)


Tue January 17, 2012
(YouTube) Cool Your childhood has just been obliterated forever. Super Slot Cars  (youtube.com) (44)
(CNBC) Obvious If you can't beat mobile devices, throw them in the toilet. That usually voids the warranty  (cnbc.com) (10)
(USA Today) Interesting So, if I'm reading this correctly -- and I'm pretty sure that I am -- the best way to keep your out-of-pocket girlfriend expenses down is to make sure that there are lots of other girls around, too  (usatoday.com) (27)


Mon January 16, 2012
(Oregon Live) Amusing Small town community spends eight years raising funds to build a park, only to discover patrons of a nearby strip club are allowed to park in its parking lot  (oregonlive.com) (201)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Cops in uniform caught meeting up in empty parking lot and playing football. (with pics) Some people have a problem with this  (13wmaz.com) (83)
(Paste Magazine) Fail The thirty best Coachella performances of all time. Difficulty: Leonard Cohen and Paul McCartney aren't in the top two slots, and The Strokes are on the list, which immediately invalidates it  (pastemagazine.com) (65)
(Jalopnik) Cool This aircraft carrier is the world's most expensive parking lot  (jalopnik.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Strange Not news: College student gets drunk after consuming ten drinks. Fark: And then breaks into a museum and tries to steal a claw from the real 20-foot skeleton of a giant ground sloth  (dispatch.com) (48)


Thu January 12, 2012
(STLToday) Interesting Grandma got run over by a white tail..Walking on the lot one Thursday Eve  (stltoday.com) (22)


Wed January 11, 2012
(News.com.au) Amusing Australian university evicts squatters  (news.com.au) (14)
(YouTube) Sappy Bath time for baby sloths. Set Cute Ray to overload  (youtube.com) (20)
(Live Science) Cool Newly digitized color illustrations of the heavens, from Victorian era artist and astronomer Etienne Leopold Trouvelot. Warning: slideshow  (livescience.com) (6)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Sick Santorum won't be on all Ohio ballots. So if you live in Ohio, wear gloves to the polls just in case  (cincinnati.com) (85)
(Some Guy) Dumbass There's dumb and then there's selling pot on the county courthouse lawn dumb  (thenewstribune.com) (29)
(CNN) Followup "And he hits the kid a couple of times. The boy is crying. He picks him up and throws him overboard. They are in the middle of a harbor, and there is a lot of boat traffic"  (cnn.com) (56)


Tue January 10, 2012
(National Journal) Sad That forced laughter you hear? That's the Romney-Bot schadenfreude subroutine being executed in response to Jon Huntsman failing to qualify for the Arizona ballot  (decoded.nationaljournal.com) (26)
(MSNBC) Florida Police: Man Drove Into Flock of Seagulls. Bystander: I ran  (msnbc.msn.com) (56)


Mon January 09, 2012
(CTV) News Feds uncover suspected Islamic extremist plot to bomb Tampa; Newsflash and Florida tags dive for cover  (ctv.ca) (295)
(MSNBC) Interesting Smart cooktop knows where your pot is. And I say that cooktop is a little too smart for its own good, and better keep its damn mouth shut if it knows what's good for it  (gadgetbox.msnbc.msn.com) (23)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Yahoo) Dumbass Not news: Republicans want to repeal Obamacare. News: They actually have a proposal with which to replace it. Fark: It looks an awful lot like Obamacare  (old.news.yahoo.com) (178)
(Talking Points Memo) Amusing Hard to say really. I think these are either pictures of John McCain endorsing Mitt Romney or Mr. Potter plotting to murder George Bailey  (media.talkingpointsmemo.com) (38)


Sat January 07, 2012
(Orlando Sentinel) Asinine FAA grounds ten young whooping cranes and the bird-like plane they think is their mother teaching them to migrate because the pilot is being paid. No, really  (orlandosentinel.com) (95)
(Daily Mail) Silly Paris Hilton dons brunette wig in bizarre artificial intelligence experiment, raising frightening "sort of want" feelings among Farkers everywhere  (dailymail.co.uk) (58)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine Good News: You're a lottery winner. Bad News: You only won $1000. Fark: The check bounced  (chicagotribune.com) (34)
(STLToday) Asinine Details of Albert Pujols's new contract emerge: Guaranteed hotel suite on all road trips, no trade clause and $75,000 bonus for coming in third on the MVP ballot  (stltoday.com) (71)
(Gizmodo) Cool Gizmodo gives Fark a high-flying shoutout for directing their attention to a drunk pilot  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Salon) Interesting What would you do if your spouse were gone for two months? This woman decided to take off her clothes and bend over in front of eight naked men  (salon.com) (124)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Iowa caucus voter counter says Mitt Romney accidentally received 20 extra votes from his district. If that's true, there's going to be a lot of Santorum on GOP leaders' faces come tomorrow   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (99)
(The Hill) Dumbass After getting into a frothy mess over his "Not wanting to make Black people's lives easier" line, Santorum connects the dots and concludes people must be angry because he said "black" and not "African American"  (thehill.com) (300)
(TMZ) Stupid Elin Nordegren has the $12 million mansion she just bought demolished because it's not good enough for her. If she keeps spending cash this way, she's going to have to find another sugar daddy lottery ticket to scratch  (tmz.com) (81)
(Marketwatch) Obvious The stock market? The lottery? Both places for idiots to throw their money away  (marketwatch.com) (28)
(Daily Mail) Sad Moon Unit Zappa files for divorce. Apparently loved going into like clothing stores and stuff to buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff. Its like so biatchen cuz like everybodys like Super-super nice. It's like so biatchen  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)


Wed January 04, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious New study reveals that middle-aged pot smokers actually scored higher on memory tests than those who didn't use the drug. So why is it illegal again?  (mnn.com) (374)


Mon January 02, 2012
(Huffington Post) Sad Some info to share with the delusional nutbags who are convinced that Mayans piloting UFOs will attack Earth this December  (huffingtonpost.com) (70)
(SFGate) Strange Georgia Walmart store getting mixed results from new "free syringe with every clothing purchase" promotion  (sfgate.com) (18)
(Daily Mail) Florida 12-year-old boy in critical condition after being hit in head by celebratory New Year gunshot fired from miles away. Police are baffled, but seek someone who likes Skyrim a lot  (dailymail.co.uk) (77)


Sun January 01, 2012
(NJ.com) Interesting 2012 looking to be a great year in movies if you're a superhero fan. If you're not, prepare for lots of "meh"  (nj.com) (63)


Sat December 31, 2011
(NPR) Obvious Over the course of a year, the average American consumes nearly 2000 pounds of food. That's a lot of Cheetos and pork rinds  (npr.org) (95)
(AZCentral) Sad If your clothes fly off the roof of your car onto a busy California freeway, just let them go, cause man, they're gone  (azcentral.com) (65)


Fri December 30, 2011
(io9) Amusing 10 weirdest scientific theories proposed in science fiction, or as we call them: "Plot devices"  (io9.com) (135)
(Quad City Times) PSA Nudity is not allowed in a McDonald's parking lot, as this couple recently learned  (qctimes.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Silly In 2022, at the age of 42, Albert Pujols will make $30 million. Wait, wasn't this the plot of Brewster's Millions?   (eye-on-baseball.blogs.cbssports.com) (19)


Thu December 29, 2011
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Sad Marshall Ward, Navy commander during Cuban Missile Crisis, dead at 89. He is perhaps best known for piloting his ship 100 yards away from a Soviet vessel to inspect its cargo at the height of the standoff  (signonsandiego.com) (43)
(WWL) Dumbass If you live in the projects and think it will be a good idea to rob a bank in the wealthy suburbs, it might be a good idea to get a getaway car that won't stall out and die in the bank parking lot  (wwl.com) (30)
(Yahoo) Amusing Hey South, thanks for coming to the funeral, it would have meant a lot to dad knowing you're here. Say listen I know this is a little awkward but you don't have a couple of bucks I could borrow? Just maybe gas money to the cemetery?  (news.yahoo.com) (25)
(Boston Herald) Interesting Missing drug evidence points to rogue cop. In other news, there are a lot of rogue cops in Massachusetts. In other other news, police departments are not allowed to test officers for drug use  (bostonherald.com) (53)
(Reuters) Amusing Newt Gingrich blames his failure to get on the ballot in VA on an under-zealous staffer  (reuters.com) (33)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Nola.com) Obvious "Re-electing politicians who voted for the Patriot Act and NDAA is like a flock of chickens voting for Colonel Sanders"  (nola.com) (142)
(MSNBC) Obvious Poll finds that people would rather live next door to religious zealots than obnoxious douche bags  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Strange The first Hello Kitty restaurant in China features pink tablecloths and lamps, waiters in white shirts with red bows and blue rompers, and a Christmas tree in the middle of the room, surrounded with Kitty balloons  (asiaone.com) (33)


Tue December 27, 2011
(YouTube) Amusing A lot of the internet is wasted time. And then there is this  (youtube.com) (50)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Man calls 911 to complain that two hookers wouldn't afford him the man-in-the-middle slot in bed that he paid for  (thesmokinggun.com) (64)
(Talking Points Memo) Weird Ron Paul will save America from the imaginary plot to merge the US, Canada, and Mexico into one country and then turn our household guns over to the UN  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (255)
(BBC) Interesting Brazilian economy larger than England's. Man, that's a lot of economies  (bbc.co.uk) (12)
(BusinessWeek) Fail Declining sales finally putting Lotus up on blocks  (businessweek.com) (27)


Mon December 26, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Asinine Newt on his recent VA ballot failure: 'Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?'  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (101)


Sun December 25, 2011
(YouTube) Interesting The science behind Santa's visits. Yes .... there's math - lots of it  (youtube.com) (26)


Sat December 24, 2011
(Slate) Interesting Admit it. You have lots of questions about Christianity, but none more burning than whether or not Jesus had an in-style hairdo  (slate.com) (108)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Starpulse) Interesting The top 10 celebrity "hot messes" of 2011. When Lindsay Lohan is #3, and Amy Winehouse didn't even make it, you know it's been a farked up year  (starpulse.com) (61)


Thu December 22, 2011
(NewsMax) Unlikely One recent poll found that 84% of U.S. adults claim they'd prayed in the past week. This might be impressive if we knew they weren't praying to win the lottery or to be hung like Ron Jeremy  (newsmax.com) (93)
(Fox News) Dumbass Iran announces plans to conduct Navy drills with...... CTRL+V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V....most fearsome, awe inspiring flotilla known to mankind  (foxnews.com) (139)
(Mother Nature Network) Weird If you think penguins are the only animals in Antarctica, then you've never seen the tiny elephants, bear-yam hybrids, or the nematode worms. "They're a lot cuter than earwigs"  (mnn.com) (51)
(CNN) Cool Stone Temple Pilots' Scott Weiland releasing Christmas album. Plans to give a new personal interpretation of "White Christmas"  (edition.cnn.com) (18)
(Huffington Post) Amusing "I wanted to be a lot of things, but I never -- I PROMISE you -- ever wanted to grow up to be someone known as 'The Penis Mom'"  (huffingtonpost.com) (252)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you're a helicopter pilot and you're trying to avoid low lying fog, try to avoid the even lower power lines. Oh... and look out for the interstate too  (johnsoncitypress.com) (24)


Wed December 21, 2011
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) PSA If you happen to find a winning Powerball ticket from June 29, the Georgia Lottery would like a word with you by next Tuesday  (ajc.com) (32)
(CNN) Interesting Orson Welles' Oscar for Citizen Kane sells for over $860,000. That kind of money would buy a lot of frozen peas  (cnn.com) (37)
(Boston Herald) PSA Massachusetts will let you buy lottery tickets with food stamps unless you get one of those downer clerks who insists on enforcing the rules  (bostonherald.com) (71)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Stupid New Firefox arrives two weeks after the last iteration. Expected to be a lot better than the last one  (geek.com) (87)
(Huffington Post) Asinine University of Texas College Republicans President tweets: "My president is black. He snorts a lot of crack." Is our children learning, indeed  (huffingtonpost.com) (283)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Seattle Times) Strange If you're the only employee working at a pet food shop and you've got five pounds of pot stashed there, don't take a nap on the job just in case a customer comes in and gets so worried he calls the cops  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (15)
(NPR) Interesting There's a lot you don't know about Rick Santorum. So come on, let's wipe away the misconceptions, wade through all the froth, and get right down to the bottom of this man  (npr.org) (133)
(wmal.com) Amusing Newt Gingrich can't seem to get enough signatures to have his name on the Virginia ballot while Mitt Romney shows off video from his smartphone of alllllll his signatures. Bonus: filmed in Mitt Romney's kitchen  (wmal.com) (67)
(Reuters) Silly Military drone pilots under great stress over fears of eye strain, constipation, carpal tunnel syndrome  (reuters.com) (75)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Palm Beach Post) Florida When you're dressed in women's clothes and trying to rob a McDonald's, running into a hungry Homeland Security agent can be a real drag  (palmbeachpost.com) (38)
(NPR) Spiffy Jingle Jams: come for the picture of an orangutan in Christmas clothes playing the ukelele, stay for the holiday mix you can actually tolerate  (npr.org) (14)


Sat December 17, 2011
(Beatcalls) Stupid The same laws of motion that govern spitting out the car window while driving apply to throwing pot out the car window while the cops are chasing you (w/ pic)  (beatcalls.com) (53)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Mrs. Claus is fired from the mall for A) Hitting the kids? B) Seducing the kids? C) Having her car stolen from the mall parking lot and telling the press thereby creating negative publicity for the mall?  (lcsun-news.com) (36)
(AL.com) Stupid Lawsuit filed to prevent Obama from appearing on ballot. Even in birtherism, Alabama lags behind  (blog.al.com) (169)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Daily Mail) Strange Eric Idle surgically sacks John Cleese from production of Spamalot in flap over royalties, sympathises with Cleese's divorced wives. "He's had plenty of money already - he's always in financial crisis"  (dailymail.co.uk) (35)
(Boing Boing) Interesting Louis CK's DRM-free direct-sales video experiment pays off: "I really hope people keep buying it a lot, so I can have shiatloads of money"  (boingboing.net) (97)
(YouTube) Interesting Classic toy commercial from the 60's that shows that 1. Toys back then were a lot cooler, and 2. Even as a kid, Snake Plissken was a badass  (youtube.com) (40)


Wed December 14, 2011
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Dumbass Naked from the waist down, urinating, defecating, and peeking in windows is no way to go through a hotel's parking lot... Officer  (news.cincinnati.com) (43)
(The Mary Sue) Weird And now, for no apparent reason, beetles in Jurassic Park clothing  (themarysue.com) (15)
(11 Alive) Asinine It apparently needs to be said: Do not give $10,000 in cash to the 'stock broker' you met in a parking lot  (roswell.11alive.com) (51)
(Hartford Courant) Fail Driver hits gas instead of brake and crashes into clothing store, owners forced to press suit  (courant.com) (26)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Train conductor channels Silent Bob/Indiana Jones. NO TICKET (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)
(HelenaIR.com) Sappy Mall security guard finds envelope containing $300 in Christmas money and note with kids' clothing sizes, goes all CSI and tracks down grateful and dumbfounded owner using only the note and security camera footage  (helenair.com) (76)


Tue December 13, 2011
(SacBee) Cool Medical marijuana dispensary closing, giving away free pot this Friday. In related news, flight bookings to Sacramento spike  (sacbee.com) (53)
(MSNBC) Asinine That slot machine with the lights and sirens going off telling you've won $57 million? Sorry, just a software error, how about $100 and a comped buffet ticket instead?  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (159)
(Independent) Scary And He maketh the deep sea to boil like a pot. Job 41:31  (independent.co.uk) (204)


Mon December 12, 2011
(Arizona Sports) Sad Babby: "Grant Hill tortured me." I am truley sorry for your lots  (arizonasports.com) (29)


Sun December 11, 2011
(Onion AV Club) Stupid That movie you spent a lot of time watching in your bunk as a kid is being remade. No, not that one. No, not "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." That other one  (avclub.com) (175)
(Huffington Post) Scary Four things go into a pilot's pre-flight takeoff weight calculation: The plane, the passengers, and the baggage. Wait, that's only three... hmm, what's missing?  (huffingtonpost.com) (101)


Sat December 10, 2011
(redding.com) Strange Man rams one car into an apartment, then rams another car into his girlfriend's apartment, kicks down the door and, sheriff says, "this is where it gets kind of weird, he takes off all his clothes and starts jumping on cars"  (redding.com) (32)
(Daily Mail) Scary That rapist on the news looks a lot like me. Oh s***, that IS me  (dailymail.co.uk) (127)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Woman catching heat for throwing a Molotov cocktail into a home (with "Come on, baby, light my fire" mugshot goodness)  (kltv.com) (73)
(Some Boob-Lover) Spiffy A flat-chested teenage Salma Hayek went to a church that had a saint that was supposed to do a lot of miracles. "I put my hands in the holy water and went: 'Please Jesus give me some boobs.'" Thank you, Jesus  (mailonsunday.co.uk) (117)


Thu December 08, 2011
(Washington Post) Followup For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but be forever protected from government plots to embed GPS tracking devices in their bodies  (washingtonpost.com) (105)
(Showbiz Spy) Obvious How does Charlize Theron get through her love scenes with Patton Oswalt? Booze. Lots and lots of booze  (showbizspy.com) (73)


Wed December 07, 2011
(LiveLeak) Amusing Sodium Hexaflouride is a hellova drug. It puts the lotion in the basket  (liveleak.com) (50)
(CNBC) Interesting Actual Headline: "Merkel's Strategy: Make Europe Look a Lot More Like Germany." Guess third time's the charm?  (cnbc.com) (172)
(Yahoo) Scary Bill Gates developing OS with China, says it will be "low cost, very safe and generate very little waste", which means it will be full of security holes and will crash a lot. Wait, did I say OS? I meant a nuclear reactor  (news.yahoo.com) (96)


Tue December 06, 2011
(TMZ) Amusing Airline pilot uses "deplane" against Alec Baldwin during game of Words With Friends  (tmz.com) (48)
(Dead Ken) Amusing Barbie's dream house if it were built on Salem's Lot  (amusingplanet.com) (128)
(Yahoo) Obvious An analysis of the final human ballots in the BCS race. Conclusion: Harris voters were all over the place, and "Coaches voted along conference lines"  (rivals.yahoo.com) (88)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Scary The Incredible Bulk tears his clothes off and ambushes couple on their own front porch. You wouldn't like him when he's angry, and pumped up on steroids  (ajc.com) (42)
(News.com.au) Asinine Fearing for their safety, police are forced to tear clothing from OWS protester and hastily retreat from weeping, underwear clad menace  (news.com.au) (474)


Mon December 05, 2011
(Some Guy) Strange In the US, people tend to leave electronics behind in cabs. In France it's their clothes. And in London it's a dead donkey  (thechronicle.com.au) (17)


Sun December 04, 2011
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida If you grow anything with hydroponics in Florida the police will automatically assume you are growing pot and come kick down your door without a warrant  (tampabay.com) (166)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting SEC launches investigation into financing of new stadium. Since this will be on the Sports tab, Subby expects lots of lame jokes about why the Southeastern Conference would care about a baseball stadium  (sports.yahoo.com) (33)
(ESPN) Spiffy Championship weekend is upon us. From Atlanta to Charlotte to Indianapolis, it's a Saturday of college football with enough games to make everyone forget how the BCS has killed the entire sport  (espn.go.com) (2382)


Fri December 02, 2011
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Just FYI, ordering "blunt and some herbs" at the Burger King drive-thru could get your ass thrown into jail in Florida  (mysuncoast.com) (72)
(SeattlePI) Strange "Forever 21" clothing chain under fire for selling replica of "Flipper" shirt Kurt Cobain drew and then wore on SNL in 1992  (blog.seattlepi.com) (88)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida You know you've found a special girlfriend if she parks her car in the intersection to have sex with you, refuses to put her clothes back on when the cops tell her to, and then pees on the sidewalk of the woman who called the cops on you  (nwfdailynews.com) (42)
(NYPost) Obvious AT&T says they can afford a lot more congressmen than the #FCC  (nypost.com) (27)


Thu December 01, 2011
(ESPN) Obvious No one wants to go to Utah, Charlotte or Toronto  (espn.go.com) (57)
(Washington Post) Hero Famous Polish pilot dies. Tried to defend Warsaw, Paris and London against the Nazis. Third time was the charm  (washingtonpost.com) (70)


Wed November 30, 2011
(Jalopnik) Strange Well, who wouldn't want to see a music video recreating the 1970 24 hours of Le Mans using slot cars?  (jalopnik.com) (18)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Some Guy) Strange Burglar makes himself at home while on the job by showering, wearing resident's clothes, making tacos and cookies, then watching a movie  (sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com) (38)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Some jerk wins $1M lottery for the second time in three years  (news.yahoo.com) (47)
(truTV) Followup It appears that the arrest of the New York bomb plot suspect was 99% misdirection  (blog.trutv.com) (59)
(Whatever) Spiffy Not news: Hugo winning author John Scalzi live tweets while rewatching LoTR trilogy. Still not news: Asks for dubsteb remix of Smeagol fish battering scene. Fark: Gets it the next day  (whatever.scalzi.com) (79)
(NYPost) Followup Could be the three rich guys who claimed the $254M Powerball jackpot were fronting for an even richer guy who doesn't feel like being hassled over his new "Let's Hunt #Occupy Hippies For Their Meat" charity  (nypost.com) (79)
(Some Reporter) Interesting News: Reporter finds that most people who investigate foreclosures get scammed. Fark: Including said reporter  (poynter.org) (24)
(My Fox DC) Fail When donating clothes to the needy, always remember to take your life-savings out of the pockets first  (myfoxdc.com) (26)
(NPR) Unlikely Just like cheerleaders are real athletes and self-published writers are real authors, Air Force drone operators would like you to know that they're real pilots, damnit  (npr.org) (235)


Mon November 28, 2011
(Yahoo) Followup Pima County AZ SWAT team learning that it's a lot harder to sweep a questionable shooting under the rug when the guy you shoot is a Marine vet you can't even pretend was a bad guy  (news.yahoo.com) (463)
(Fox News) Sad Three 1%'er "asset managers" suddenly have lot more of their own to manage as they split a $254 million powerball jackpot after buying a single ticket on a whim at a gas station  (foxnews.com) (208)
(My Fox DC) Sad Always remember, when washing your kid's clothes - first take your kid out of them  (myfoxdc.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Followup Teenage girl who tweeted a criticism of Kansas Governor and then refused to apologize after pressure from the Governor and her school ends up getting over 6000 followers a day later. Welcome to the internet, Gov. #blowsalot  (news.gather.com) (325)


Sun November 27, 2011
(Cape Cod Times) Scary Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to smashed car windows in the Toys R Us parking lot  (capecodonline.com) (35)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Huffington Post) Sad Police depts aren't interested in solving violent crimes. There's no money to be made. But shaking down people on the street for a joint in their pocket brings dividends  (huffingtonpost.com) (115)


Thu November 24, 2011
(My Fox DC) Interesting Wow - your mom lost a lot of weight  (myfoxdc.com) (24)
(The Register) Interesting A tale from 1977 when "mobile computing" was more parking-lot-top than laptop and required a truck  (theregister.co.uk) (11)


Wed November 23, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Thief steals gift basket being raffled off to raise money for a four-year-old cancer patient. Sees news reports of his asshattery, calls restaurant where raffle was held and tells them it can be found in their parking lot. Still a big asshat  (wtkr.com) (32)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Scary Student pilot on only second solo flight flips plane end over end in emergency landing but walks away without a scratch. Instructor gives him props  (startribune.com) (38)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Weird Not news: Homeless man breaks into luxury townhouse in downtown Chicago, puts on homeowner's clothes, defrosts his lobster. News: It was White Sox GM Kenny Williams' house, and the guy was arrested wearing his 2005 WS ring  (suntimes.com) (27)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Some Sarah) Amusing NBC orders Sarah Silverman comedy pilot. Matt Damon seen quietly sneaking away  (digitalspy.com) (80)
(Starpulse) Obvious Kris Humphries suing Kim Kardashian for $10 million. That's a lot of anal bleaching  (starpulse.com) (39)
(CNN) Dumbass 3 college students arrested in Egypt for tossing back some cocktails. No, wait that was arrested for tossing Molotov cocktails  (cnn.com) (38)
(Yahoo) Strange Do you care what the "rent is too damn high" guy thinks about the AL MVP ballot? No? Well, here's a nonsensical article about it anyway  (sports.yahoo.com) (10)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Neo-nazis adopt a road in Delaware and agree to keep it clean, although locals notice that suddenly there's a lot more noticeable white trash when they show up  (huffingtonpost.com) (50)
(LA Times) Obvious The New York bomb plot suspect didn't seem radical to neighbors, who obviously never saw him snowboard  (latimes.com) (33)


Fri November 18, 2011
(CBS News) Cool A new material that is 99.99 percent air may carry a lot of weight in the near future  (cbsnews.com) (41)
(Guardian) Amusing Darth Vader claims a plot of land in Ukraine to park his spaceship. I hope he means his shuttle  (guardian.co.uk) (33)
(Some Guy) Interesting The holiday season is officially here now that cops have made their first arrest of someone carrying gift-wrapped packages of marijuana  (kitsapsun.com) (45)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Huffington Post) Amusing Bank of America: We're sorry we gave your $59,000 to someone with the same name, it's an honest mistake, a lot of people in this country have the same exact name. Konstantinos Alexopoulos: O RLY??  (huffingtonpost.com) (53)
(News.com.au) Interesting His smile alone could power a Third World country. She blushes, like a high school girl who has, finally, after much bedroom plotting, captured the gaze of the football captain  (news.com.au) (178)
(Daily Mail) Fail Pilot locks self in bathroom, then sends passenger with Middle Eastern accent to bang on cabin door for help. Hilariity ensues  (dailymail.co.uk) (154)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida 10-year-old breaks into impound lot and steals pickup truck. An 80's movie promptly breaks out  (orlandosentinel.com) (34)


Wed November 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Scary "On the 17th, we're gonna burn New York City to the f***in' ground. You'll see what a Molotov cocktail can do to a Macy's." See what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps, New York?  (verumserum.com) (314)
(Some Guy) Sad Not news: Couple busted for having marijuana. Kinda news: Police tipped off by secret photos of stash. FARK: Photos were taken by their sick-of-pot-smoke 11-year-old son  (duluthnewstribune.com) (341)
(Some Guy) Hero American pilot bombed innocent German children after WWII  (futilitycloset.com) (203)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Reuters) Interesting Q: What is the best wine for Thanksgiving dinner? A: Lots  (reuters.com) (74)
(io9) Interesting Archeologists unsure why a bronze buckle from East Asia would be found in an 11th century Alaskan village. This trade gap thing has obviously been around a lot longer then we thought  (io9.com) (62)


Mon November 14, 2011
(UPI) Obvious Humans became social in daylight. That says a lot about "Twilight" fans, I guess  (upi.com) (7)
(MLive.com) Stupid Man wins $176K in lottery, says he is going to buy a new house, a new car, and get his kids anything they want for Christmas. You do the math, he obviously can't  (mlive.com) (179)
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious Republican TV ad:"How come we haven't heard of Jon Huntsman?" Wild guess: Maybe because he's an actual politician and not some semieducated crazy zealot?  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (112)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious American Eagle fined $900,000 for tarmac delays, ugly overpriced hipster clothing  (chicagotribune.com) (59)


Sun November 13, 2011
(Bloomberg) Weird Pfizer-Bristol drug doesn't reduce coagulation after hospital stays. The clot thickens  (bloomberg.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Ironic Cashier sells $1 million lottery ticket to man who lives in the same town with the same last name - by "mistake"  (thejobmouse.com) (49)
(Yahoo) Dumbass When making up a story for police about how your toddler went missing; make sure it's not exactly like the plot of a "Law and Order" episode. Particularly not the one that aired the night before your baby went "missing"  (news.yahoo.com) (77)


Sat November 12, 2011
(Townhall) Obvious Will Herman Cain accept a VP slot if Mitt Romney wins the Republican nomination? Nein nein nein  (townhall.com) (129)
(WSAZ) Scary Not news: Mother has drug problem. News: Mother nods off with syringe still in arm. Fark: In the Go-Mart parking lot with two-year-old child beside her in front seat  (wsaz.com) (89)


Fri November 11, 2011
(CBS 4 Denver) Interesting English: B, Science: A, Algebra: A, Social Studies: C. These grades have been brought to you by Meineke, where we're not gonna make you pay a lot for that muffler  (denver.cbslocal.com) (42)
(Marketwatch) Obvious European stocks drop after some douche initiated a selloff, which means now is the time to move your portfolio into WAFFLES. TASTY WAFFLES WITH LOTS OF SYRUP  (marketwatch.com) (16)
(CNN) Stupid Lottery customers are eager to play all ones today. Because think about it, that would totally makes sense if all ones came up  (money.cnn.com) (46)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Canada.com) Interesting In news that affects your wife a lot more than it affects you, B.C. public health authorities want every adult having sex to be tested for HIV  (canada.com) (94)
(Yahoo) Followup Supporters of the MS "Personhood" ballot initiative say they're not going to let a little thing like the clearly and overwhelmingly expressed will of the people stop them from trying again to get the law passed in other ways  (news.yahoo.com) (150)
(Metro) Cool Snowball fights just got a lot more fun  (metro.co.uk) (25)
(Celebitchy) Strange Tom Cruise sang and danced 10 hours per day to prepare for "Rock of Ages." That's a LOT of Bob Seger  (celebitchy.com) (33)
(BBC) Scary UK Ministry of Defence grounds all planes with ejector seats after one pilot acciIIIAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEE   (bbc.co.uk) (33)


Tue November 08, 2011
(The Local France) Interesting France built fake Paris in WWI to fool German bomber pilots, American tourists  (thelocal.fr) (44)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Reporters paint picture of newest Cain accuser as suburban mom with strong values, a lot of legal experience and goes on 72-hour first dates  (chicagotribune.com) (337)
(Daily Mail) Followup United Express pilot who flew while drunk gets six months in prison. Charged with breach of policy, dangerous behavior, impersonating Southwest Airlines pilot  (dailymail.co.uk) (2)


Mon November 07, 2011
(CBS News) Dumbass Bribing a Congressman is not as simple as you might think. Fortunately there are lots of lobbyists to help you  (cbsnews.com) (56)


Fri November 04, 2011
(Some Guy) Cool "And the winner of the $2 million lottery is... Barry, the sports anchor. Barry?"  (pnyr.big1059.com) (166)
(Reuters) Followup Groupon IPO shares soar to $31, market cap near $20 billion. That's a lot of spa treatments and awkward wine tastings  (reuters.com) (31)
(Chud) Obvious President of Universal Studios: "We make a lot of sh*tty movies"  (chud.com) (36)
(Telegraph) Scary French satirical magazine goes where South Park feared to tread, proudly announces the Prophet Muhammad would be editor-in-chief of this week's issue. Molotovarity ensues  (telegraph.co.uk) (189)
(MSNBC) Stupid More family photos with pets. With lots of 'awkward' for future trauma, embarrassment, and FUN  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (101)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Sad Four Georgia senior citizens arrested for plotting to attack Americans with a bio-weapon, wearing unlicensed onions on their belts   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (120)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Some Guy) Florida Republican-led state senate finally passes a jobs bill. Well, it will create a lot of work for lawyers, anyway  (pnj.com) (25)
(FilmDrunk) Amusing The Steven Seagal movie plot word cloud. I see that the words "kill," "dead," "killed," and "discovers cold" are quite prominent  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Followup In formerly Soviet Russia, pilots apply brakes during takeoff  (news1130.com) (8)


Tue November 01, 2011
(Guardian) Followup So turns out Newscorp and everyone involved with the News of the World hacking mess were aware of what was going on about 3 years before it was blown open  (guardian.co.uk) (44)
(NYPost) Asinine And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair; and Jersey Shores spawned a spin-off starring Pauly D  (nypost.com) (19)
(CNBC) Obvious Qantas looks too ugly for investors, drinks a lot too  (cnbc.com) (3)
(AL.com) Amusing Japanese used panty vending machine technology surpassed by American fresh meat vending machine. Your dog wants slot B6  (blog.al.com) (37)
(Contact Music) Interesting Kristen Stewart still has a lot to "discover" about herself. Specifically, how facial expressions work  (contactmusic.com) (64)


Mon October 31, 2011
(Life.com) Spiffy Leave it to the bloody-minded folks who invented the guillotine to devise the world's sickest house of horror. That it was back in 1947 only adds to the stomach-churning Gallic goodness. Happy Halloween, y'all  (life.com) (33)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Girls: The proof is in the pudding. Apparently, lots and lots of pudding  (izismile.com) (187)
(Think Progress) Obvious Sheriff Joe tells lead birther Orly Taitz that he has his own super secret surprise evidence about the Kenyan communist nazi usurper to keep him off the 2012 ballot, but he can't tell anyone just yet because it's a secret. Shhhh  (thinkprogress.org) (130)
(I Heart Chaos) Fail Plot synopsis for the new Evil Dead movie released, and it's a bold, creative and gutsy story. Just kidding, it's the same damn movie as the first one, only without Bruce Campbell  (iheartchaos.com) (36)
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid Just before peeling out of the WaPo parking lot in his IROC-Z while blasting his Maiden/Priest mix tape, George Will says Mitt Romney is an elitist what thinks he's better than you who wants to take away your smokes and truck nutz  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (78)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo gives FARK a slice of the credit for showing them the story about a homemade guillotine  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Short List) Stupid Fancy knowing the entire plot of Mission: Impossible 4 before you drunkenly watch it on HBO next year? Well, watch this then  (shortlist.com) (27)
(Washington Post) Interesting Catholic Mass liturgy to change for the first time since the 60's; will now include segment where the faithful say "Pie Iesu domine" and hit themselves in the forehead with a board  (washingtonpost.com) (173)
(LA Times) Interesting A wild card in the November 2012 election? Coming from the Internet? Maybe, because there's a well-funded "virtual third party," that plans to put a centrist presidential candidate on the ballot in all 50 states  (latimes.com) (94)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man discovers his homemade guillotine really works  (king5.com) (98)


Thu October 27, 2011
(NJ.com) Dumbass Pilferer pinched for pot possession post pumpkin pitching  (nj.com) (30)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Apparently, aliens are more likely to abduct people who eat a lot of cheese  (dailymail.co.uk) (64)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Canoe) Cool Retired mechanic wins $50M lotto prize. That fixes everything  (cnews.canoe.ca) (81)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Man who got home from Taco Bell and realized there wasn't enough meat in his XXL Chalupas does the logical thing: He goes back and firebombs the joint with a Molotov cocktail  (thesmokinggun.com) (119)
(Some Guy) Sick Candidate: "Assemblyman has missed a lot of votes." Assemblyman: "I had cancer." Candidate: "That's no excuse"  (mycentraljersey.com) (77)
(Yahoo) Hero Last Polish Battle of Britain pilot dies. He was credited with 3 Luftwaffe kills, 1 Distinguished Flying Cross and 2 giant brass perogies  (news.yahoo.com) (125)
(I Got A Rock) Asinine Food allergy jihadists set up alternative Halloween in abandoned parking lot in Tuscon. Naturally, they've outlawed costumes, pumpkins, and candy, but children will certainly thrill to the awesome spectacle of tar fumes and 120 degree heat  (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com) (150)


Mon October 24, 2011
(Daily News) Stupid Rand Corp has retracted a report showing that crime went up in neighborhoods where pot dispensaries were shut down. Pressure from LA City Attorney had nothing to do with it, of course  (dailynews.com) (60)
(Science Daily) Obvious The first step to a perfect drug combination is to get a suitcase. Then fill it with two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, plus pills and booze  (sciencedaily.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Sad Man gets bilked out of thousands in money and gold coins by the old "$100,000 wrapped in an African prayer cloth in the Home Depot parking lot" trick  (timesheraldonline.com) (87)
(Some Guy) Amusing I dare you not to hear Nelson's "HA HA" when you see how the lottery went for this player  (i-am-bored.com) (96)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Telegram) Sappy Police aid broken down owl parked on shoulder of Mass Pike  (telegram.com) (27)
(AZCentral) Dumbass Smoke dope, take off your clothes, run into a random house, jump into bed with a six year old girl. Shelbyville teenager learns that one of these things is not like the others  (azcentral.com) (94)
(LA Daily News) Obvious State and national policies on pot are confusing and should be reconciled, say people who are too high to remember that federal law trumps state law  (dailynews.com) (132)


Sat October 22, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Occupy Charlotte organizer kicked out of the group for being too ruly  (charlotte.cbslocal.com) (74)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious So turns out the "47%" do pay their "fair share" of taxes and a lot more. They even include a informative picture for the GOP impaired   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (194)
(Some Reality TV Mutants) Unlikely Rob Kardashian on Obama's dismissal of his show: "You really learn a lot from our show"  (digitalspy.com) (34)
(The Local (Sweden)) Scary On the bright side, almost half of Swedish pilots stay awake during flights  (thelocal.se) (12)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Abc.net.au) Scary Virgin pilot blown off, inappropriate thrusting involved  (abc.net.au) (19)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Daily Mail) Misc Gwen Stefani unveils line of children's clothing for kids with FREAKISHLY HUGE HEADS  (dailymail.co.uk) (36)
(YouTube) Cool Michael Winslow's got a Whole Lotta Love  (youtube.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Stupid What actress said this?: "I had to eat a lot of pasta and get cinched really tightly into the corset to get the effect and let the girls do the acting for me." Of course, think new releases  (tgdaily.com) (124)
(dump.com) Video A lot of bills over dew  (dump.com) (14)


Tue October 18, 2011
(CNNGo) Spiffy "Is there a lot of pressure that comes with the Ramen King title?" "I wouldn't call it pressure. It is a responsibility. A responsibility to bring great ramen to the world"  (cnngo.com) (77)
(Some Guy) Obvious TSA agents are great at letting nothing get through security screening. Except when you bribe one of them, then you can just walk through with 15 pounds of pot  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (32)
(Some cop caller) Dumbass Protip: If your cocaine and pot get stolen, the police are not there to help you  (wtsp.com) (10)
(The Atlantic Wire) Obvious Herman Cain is buying a lot of Herman Cain's books  (theatlanticwire.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Scary 81-year-old can't find farmer's market from the air, lands his 1973 Cessna in a strip mall parking lot instead. With security cam video of the 'landing'  (wtkr.com) (87)


Mon October 17, 2011
(Huffington Post) Amusing "Look, we saw some amazing people. Scarlett Johansson was great. It was a great audition, I'm telling you. But the thing with Scarlett is, you can't wait for her to take her clothes off"  (huffingtonpost.com) (62)
(Some Geezer) Florida There are a lot of fun things senior citizens can do to pass the time. For example there's shuffle board, canasta, arson, bingo... Wait, what?  (whnz.com) (14)
(Daily Mail) Scary Pilot realizes in mid-air that he picked the wrong week to stop having his instruments sabotaged with glue  (dailymail.co.uk) (105)


Sun October 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Spiffy Indycar finale discussion: Power and Franchitti to decide the championship, Danica runs her last race, TK has a Lotus on the pole, Carpenter looks to repeat his upset, and our Indy 500 winner actually gets to race. 3PM ET on ABC  (indycar.com) (623)
(STLToday) Silly Using a five-foot long alligator to guard your indoor grow room probably seemed like a good idea at the time  (stltoday.com) (34)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Florida If an Amtrak train departs from the west coast and arrives in Illinois with a Florida man carrying 45 pounds of pot, does it still warrant the Florida tag?  (napervillesun.suntimes.com) (38)


Sat October 15, 2011
(MSNBC) Spiffy Little girl loses teddy bear that stands in for her dad while he is deployed overseas. Highway workers find the bear and return it, raising a lot of dust in the process  (msnbc.msn.com) (41)

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