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86 headlines found matching 'lap'
Mon January 22, 2018
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man builds miniature replicas of NFL stadiums that are designed to hold Super Bowl snacks. "There'll be wings, there'll be jalapeno hummus field. Chips, dips. I think this year we're going to do a Caprese bar"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 17, 2018
(BBC)
 
 
 
Some Carillion directors will continue to draw a salary for most of 2018, while 5,000 small businesses are likely to go under in the wake of the giant's collapse
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 16, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"10 workers dead after bridge unexpectedly collapses." So bridges are expected to collapse now?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 15, 2018
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Indonesian stock exchange collapses. THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FARKING METAPHOR
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 12, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Eric Clapton apologizes for racist comments he made decades ago. Aww, come on; they couldn't have been that bad. *reads article* OH LAWD
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 10, 2018
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Weinstein b*tchslapped
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 08, 2018
(NFL)
 
 
 
Everyone is retiring after Kansas City's epic collapse
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 06, 2018
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Timelapse Video taken from the top of the Space Needle shows Seattle's growth over the last three years. Thanks for all those Prime memberships. Love, Seattle
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 04, 2018
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Time-lapse video shows butter sculpture made from smearing butter on wire frames instead of being carved out of a block of butter like Michelangelo's David. Subby devastated
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump may have ended his own voter fraud panel, but he's on Twitter bright and early blaming Democrats for its collapse
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 03, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
That "High wall of Separation" that Jefferson and Madison built? Apparently it's going to collapse during the next hurricane
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 02, 2018
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Driving with your dog sitting in the car? Legal in most states, controversial in all
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Tiffany Trump makes daddy proud at a Playboy party. Normally, this might be considered some sort of jibe or insult of a normal President, but we have one who openly leers at his daughters and gets lapdances from them
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 26, 2017
(Vimeo)
 
 
 
Awesome timelapse of SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket flying over California
source: vimeo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
A tree is getting pulled down, a GOP Rep is calling for a Purge of the FBI, and Trumpy's Muslim ban just keeps getting slapped down. It's your MSNBC PrimeTime livethread. Festivities begin at 8pm EST
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 23, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Injured 8-year-old dog gets rewarded with special Christmas bone-us at work for a job well done
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 19, 2017
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
"I was standing up here waiting on the Madison bus on Western, and a guy came up naked," witness Lutisha Gibson said. "Before I knew it, he slapped a lady and walked across the street, then I heard a shot"
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 16, 2017
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Looks like you women were wrong. Reports of sexual harrassment at Fox News were "nonsense" according to Rupert Murdoch. It was just some flirting
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 15, 2017
(LA Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
Strong quake hits Java - deaths, collapsed buildings, tsunami warning
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 13, 2017
(AOL)
 
 
 
The Mooch calls Steve Bannon 'A mass to be defeated by America.' To be fair, having that much cirrhosis in one liver probably puts it on the edge of undergoing gravitational collapse
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 11, 2017
(Vice)
 
 
 
Who needs Tesla? Some people are making their own battery-powered-home dreams come true with recycled laptop batteries
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 10, 2017
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Former Verizon executive and current FCC Chairman Ajit Pai does a knee-slapping skit at the FCC Bar Association where he and a Verizon exec hatch a plot to corrupt the regulatory process by installing a "Manchurian candidate" - Pai- at the agency
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 07, 2017
(The Local)
 
 
 
While Americans sit around a dead tree and prop their kids on the lap of some fat man wearing a red coat and smelling of booze, Europe opens the gates of the underworld to have some hardcore fun with black angels, demons and orcs. Merry Krampus
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
If you're Happy and you know it...BURP...clap your...um...hooves? Rated TV-WTF
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LAPD is suggesting that drivers ignore GPS "Darwin" apps which guide them into roads that are "open routes" with little traffic because they are on fire. Obvious, Scary, Fail, Stupid, Murica, and Facepalm expected to fight over this headline
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 06, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
SCOTUS Caseload: abortion, gerrymandering, the complete collapse of the American political framework. SCOC Caseload: how much beer can a man buy at a discount?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Nun walks in on priest sexually abusing 8-year-old girl, so she A) calls the police to report him, B) notifies church officials, or C) calls the girl a whore and breaks her arm
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 05, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
There appears to be a chunk missing from the flap on my plane. Is this normal? Can't remember ever seeing this, and can't see the other wing to compare. Pic in thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 04, 2017
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Millions of Brits have never been to the Opera 'because it's too posh' and many don't know when to clap. In other news, Millions of Americans have never been to the Opera because it's Opera
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 03, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman from New York starts petition to get a 1938 Balthus painting removed because it depicts the 'sexualization of a child'. Let us hope she never sees the movie Laura with Dawn Dunlap
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 02, 2017
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Like to do circles in your jet-ski? It takes a bit more skill to do it in a 1000-foot-long freighter. With time-lapse video
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 01, 2017
(NPR)
 
 
 
Another month has passed since the bipartisan program lapsed and Congress still hasn't gotten around to funding CHIP. States are slowly beginning to lose funding to help their most vulnerable as their representatives can't manage a simple task
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 30, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Former INXS guitarist and clueless jerk says he misses the '60s and '70s when 'you could slap a woman on the butt and it was taken as a compliment'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Get ready for the holidays by watching this time-lapse video of Disneyland transforming itself for the festive season
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Crock potted london broil for 8 hours, with salt, pepper, cumin, jalapeno, and onion. Turned out tasty as hell. Made the crockpot non-meat into a liquid with my stick blender. Should my leftovers be carne asada tacos, or beef + potatoes + gravy?
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 28, 2017
(How-To Geek)
 
 
 
My (somewhat tech unsavvy) mom wants a laptop. I tell her she should get a Chromebook while my brother wants to give her his seven-year-old Windows 7 laptop with a failing battery. Am I in the wrong?
source: howtogeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 27, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pauley?" "I think so Mitch, but how would Roy Moore go back in time to molest those women when they were teens?" *Pauley slapped* "No, you dunderhead, this December is going to break our fragile bodies." "NARF"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The hottest selling item on Black Friday was: A) TVs, B) Laptops, or C) Guns
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 26, 2017
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Dogs and cats traveling together
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Earthquakes triggered by Best Korea's latest nuclear test collapse farms, homes, and a school, killing dozens of people and injuring hundreds more. To express his deep concern, Kim orders farmers back to work (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
As Trump calls out CNN for "Fake News", he endorses a site that claims there is a sex tape of Hillary Clinton with an underage girl on Anthony Weiner's laptop and reports on human sacrifice, weaponize forced vaccinations and earthquake machines
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 25, 2017
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Dim the lights, pour some wine, play some Pink Floyd, drop some acid, look at this time-lapse animation of the Earth breathing
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump sets the stage for a regulatory slapfight of epic proportions
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 21, 2017
(Today)
 
 
 
Roy Moore accuser Leigh Corfman explains why she waited so long to tell her story. "It's very simple, really - I did tell people"
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 17, 2017
(Mic)
 
 
 
George Takei's media empire is collapsing faster than Enterprise's ratings
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 16, 2017
(CNBC)
 
 
 
'Money absolutely buys happiness' says guy who slaps his brand on any garbage and must be looking to boost sales again
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 14, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in what they pinky-promise is not a sign of impending economic collapse, the Bank of Japan has quietly bought up 75% of all the country's Exchange Traded Funds
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Did you ever have a party so big your apartment floor collapsed onto the floor below?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 12, 2017
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Codger slaps dodger
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 11, 2017
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
LAPD officer records himself planting drugs on a suspect. That's some fine police work there, Lou
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman decides she wants to adopt a cat, one that had to be a middle-aged calico, and if she found such a cat she would it name it Bella. She goes to the shelter and is greeted by a 6-year-old calico ... named Bella. Serendipity, thy name is Caturday
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 10, 2017
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Slashdot user asks what a Mac user should know before buying a Windows laptop. "Welcome to the real world, jackass" suspiciously absent
source: apple.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 09, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pet-sitting company who sued customer over negative Yelp review loses SLAPP bet, must chose between 10 slaps now or 5 slaps between now and the end of time
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 06, 2017
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
Every time Bono claps his hands, he secretly invests in an overseas tax haven
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Runner dies after collapsing during Wine and Dine marathon. Apparently, running at full speed while guzzling a 2005 Chambertin burgundy paired with buttered escargot may be hazardous to your health
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Security guard at a college football game gets slapped in the back of his head by a female fan he's escorting out so he punches her in the face. Trump immediately offers him a cabinet position
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 03, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Chariots of Fark
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 01, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
Evolutionary theory suggests Star Trek might be right. All you have to do is slap on some funny-looking foreheads, noses, or ears on a humanoid, and VOILA: an alien
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
A tunnel collapses under Best Korea's nuclear mountain, trapping 100 miners. So they send in another 100 miners to rescue them. Then the tunnel collapses again
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 31, 2017
(PJ Media)
 
 
 
Golf clap for New England. Antiobiotic-resistant clap for pretty much everywhere else
source: pjmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 30, 2017
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Singing could get you a careless driving charge. Yodeling could get you shot
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 24, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Canadian man. under investigation by Worst Korean police for calling in bomb threat to K-Pop girl group, gets slapped with INTERPOL Red Notice and should probably switch his fandom to Interpol
source: soompi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Having a dilapidated, crumbling, eyesore building in an otherwise upscale neighborhood is a common urban problem, but only in Washington, DC do you have the potential of sparking an international incident if you try to force the owners to clean it up
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Nothing good can happen by slapping the ass of a police horse on active duty
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 20, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This summer, you couldn't have laptops in your carry on. Now the FAA wants to ban laptops in checked bags. They should just stop transporting passengers, it's much safer
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Now that an actress has come forward and accused Harvey Weinstein of raping her in 2013, which is well within the 10-year statute of limitations for that crime, the LAPD has opened a formal criminal investigation into the producer
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Sandy Rios thinks that George Soros orchestrated the economic collapse of 2008 in order to ensure Obama was reelected. You can read all about it in her new book, "I'm Batshiat Insane and So Are My Conspiracy Theories"
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 18, 2017
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
"Microsoft's new Surface Book 2 is a beast. Once again Microsoft is schooling Apple on what a modern laptop should be"
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 17, 2017
(MSN)
 
 
 
Miguel Cabrera had a bad baseball year, and now he is slapped with a paternity suit from a woman he supposedly hit a home run with
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Is pulling your laptop out of your carry-on bag your favorite part of going through airport security? It is? You're definitely going to want to fly through BWI, then
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 16, 2017
(Esquire)
 
 
 
When Scott Pruitt dies, his personal Hell is going to be in the middle of the Monty Python fish slapping dance, but they'll be using 300-lbs salmon. This will happen every hour for all eternity
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump says that despite the fact that he destabilized insurance markets by cutting the Obamacare subsidies that made them work, and the fact that the GOP controls all the branches of government, he won't take any of the blame for its collapse (link fixed)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Laptop taken from a Belgian woman who voluntarily left Europe to become an ISIS bride reveals strangely typical Internet surfing habits: baking recipes, sports scores for teams from her native country, pirated movies, and, of course, 1tb of porn
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Europe is very much looking forward to the collapse of NAFTA
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 14, 2017
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Say goodbye to Venezuela, its economy is imploding, millions are deserting the collapsing blackhole of a country. The International Monetary Fund says all is lost. Good job, socialists
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 12, 2017
(The Register)
 
 
 
Judge gives the Fanta Menace's elven minion a hearty biatchslap, sends him back to his tree without supper
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 10, 2017
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Salmon farming pens - which collapsed months ago, releasing tens of thousands of non-native fish - found to be mostly operating on the honor system for keeping fish inside
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jon Snow proves he knows nothing about women by filming his fianceé screaming in fear at his severed head prank and collapsing in fear, then sharing it on national TV, and now global internets
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Got a uterus? That's a visit to HR
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 06, 2017
(Independent)
 
 
 
75% of the population of Venezuela has lost an average of 19 lbs due to food shortages and currency collapse. Meanwhile you gained another two pounds in the time it took you to read this headline
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weather Underground)
 
 
 
If a flap of one butterfly's wings can cause a hurricane, what can a 70 mile swarm of butterflies do?
source: wunderground.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 05, 2017
(FastCo Design)
 
 
 
IBM ThinkPad turns 25, gets credit for transforming laptop design from thick beige road-warrior devices to sleek black Starbucks-ready devices
source: fastcodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It seems that the Vegas shooter booked hotel rooms overlooking the Chicago Lollapalooza festival two months ago as well. Fark: Malia Obama was there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 04, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Watching this VHS tape melt is like watching history elapse
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 24, 2017
(Motor Racing Network)
 
 
 
Subby would submit a thread for the NASCAR NyQuil Cup Series' latest Chaseoff race this week, but the prospect of 300 boring laps at Snooze Hampshire's Sominex 300 at 2pm ET on NBCSN has already put him out like a light
source: mrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Radical authoritarian religious figure announces his intent to institute massive, systemic religious oppression. Meanwhile, Trump is busy losing a twitter slap fight to the NFL
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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