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88 headlines found matching 'jesus'
Wed March 22, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis now going after blasphemous Fark headlines. No level of Hell declared yet for the Politics tab
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Christianity INC. well, at least they're finally admitting its always been about the money and redemption was never an option
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 21, 2017
(NBC News)
 
 
 
$3.7 million restoration returns Jesus' tomb to its original splendor. Search for it with keywords "Jerusalem tourist trap"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon March 20, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A recap of "The Other Side," another middling episode of The Walking Dead that nevertheless managed to have a few important character building moments with Maggie, Daryl, Jesus, and even Sasha, though she acted incredibly stupid [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun March 19, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The risks of a pre-emptive U.S. military strike on North Korea range from "Aw hell no" to "Holy Jesus H. bald-headed Christ"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat March 18, 2017
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Fish in Australia are evolving into land animals as they avoid predators during high tides by living on rocks just as Jesus predicted
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri March 17, 2017
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Alex Jones begs God to "destroy" Alec Baldwin
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 16, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Check out these seven amazing covers of Depeche Mode songs. Yes, Johnny Cash's "Personal Jesus" made the list (Caution: Rammstein video is Not safe for work)
source: readersdigest.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 14, 2017
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Here's the video from inside that rally car that went flying off the track and into a parking lot and still managed to win. "Jesus Christ, Kris. Oh no"
source: blackflag.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Hey, I got an idea - lets just tell all the Jews that if they convert to Christianity they'll get a $50k signing bonus
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat March 11, 2017
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
"...and that was 'Today In White Trash News'. Up next, Paul has your five day forecast plus we'll have a look at what kitchen appliances will be hot this spring"
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 09, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
Congress votes to repeal rules that would hold school systems accountable for student performance, because that would REALLY fark up Betsy Devos' plan to outsource the public school system to Bob's Bait Shop and Institute of Jesusological studies
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
"Immigrant privilege drives the child rape epidemic." Oh my f*cking God Ann Coulter actually said that line. And wrote an article about it. And believes it. And...Jesus Tapdancing Christ what the fark is wrong with her
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 08, 2017
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Jesus takes a called strike three at the knees
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 07, 2017
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Minnesota Governor signs law to allow Sunday liquor sales, paving the way for my Mojo Nixon themed church service "Are you drinking with me Jesus?"
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Relevant Magazine)
 
 
 
Critics laud Kendrick Lemar, Chance the Rapper, and Sufjan Stevens for their music and social commentary, get snarky about that whole "God" thing they keep going on about
source: relevantmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun March 05, 2017
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Russia weighs decision to be as progressive as Alabama over Beauty and the Beast
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat March 04, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Poor people don't want health care and Jesus was against helping the sick for free. Apparently we've been doing it wrong all this time
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri March 03, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
"ATHE1ST" license plate request rejected in Indiana. No word if "ACLUSUES" plate available
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Chicago's "I command you, in the name of Lucifer, to spill the blood of the innocent". New Hotness: Doom soundtrack's "Jesus loves you"
source: pcgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Octavia Spencer under fire by fundamentalists for portraying God as a black woman in 'The Shack'
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 01, 2017
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Alternative rockers The Jesus and Mary Chain announce North American tour
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue February 28, 2017
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
I don't think the real Jesus would shout 'Oh Sh*t' when he got his cross stuck in the ceiling on the underground
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If anyone has the head of Jesus Christ, the Cottage Avenue Pentecostal Fellowship in Indianapolis would like it back
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat February 25, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
Life-sized Kanye West statue erected on Hollywood Boulevard. Residents immediately complain that its life-sized head keeps blocking out the sun
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 24, 2017
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Former Florida Governor and current Congressman, announces he is divorcing his wife of 8 years. Jesus, Crist
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Suggestion to Republicans: If you're going to be late to your town hall meeting, especially after your constituents have been waiting for hours to ask you questions, don't waste time when you finally arrive by praying. "They Booed the Name of Jesus"
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Waking up every morning like "Jesus Christ, what now?"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu February 23, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sammy Sosa compares his estrangement with the Cubs to that of the plight of Jesus Christ
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Thinker)
 
 
 
If you look at the real Presidential Ratings, the U6 instead of the fake U3 Obama used, then you'll clearly see Trump is the best President since George Washington, Jesus Christ, and Walker Texas Ranger
source: americanthinker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pope Francis says it's better to be an atheist than a greedy Christian
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If guns are God in Bible Belt, does that make Holy Ghost an equalizer, Jesus a pistol?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
George 'The Animal' Steele made a video message to his friends, family and fans. "If you're watching this, I am dead and I am with Jesus. Bye-bye"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 20, 2017
(Vice)
 
 
 
The Virgin Mary: Now with 800% more tentacles
source: creators.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 17, 2017
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
It's not the Virgin Mary, it's a tumor
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue February 14, 2017
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
What triggers a TSA search: a) anything in your bags b) looking brown c) jesus you have bags and are brown, get out the latex gloves
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So I just bought flowers. Jesus Christ, $50. Should Valentines day be ended as it only brings stress and money issues to those of us not in the 1%? Perhaps is it by design?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 13, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A recap of last night's episode of The Walking Dead, which seemed to force a lot of dialogue and rushed decisions on the audience [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 10, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pastor asks followers to prove their faith by ingesting rat poison
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu February 09, 2017
(AOL)
 
 
 
Florida Man, "self-taught on the banking industry," caught after wiring himself seven billion dollars that Jesus wanted him to have. To be fair, he does seem to have actually learned a lot from the banking industry
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 06, 2017
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
When I asked a climate change denier for evidence for his position, he told me, "Jesus wouldn't let it happen"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 03, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A third of U.S. citizens believe only Christians can be true Americans like Jesus was
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed February 01, 2017
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Al Sharpton: Let's not forget that Jesus was a refugee escaping persecution from King Herod. Fox News: Republican Jesus was only traveling because he was being forced to pay taxes...Al, do you even Bible, bro? lololol
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. asked to head a White House task force on reforming higher education, because colleges need less regulation and more degrees in Jesusology
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 24, 2017
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
One evergreen Hollywood movie subject hasn't been rebooted for a while: Michael Collins, aka the Jesus Christ of the Irish rebellion. Last seen in 1996 with Liam Neeson as Collins, it's probably time for a gritty reboot
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 22, 2017
(Komo)
 
 
 
After mosque is destroyed by arsonist, neighboring LDS church invites them to use their church. "It's just neighbors helping neighbors. Jesus said, 'Love your neighbor.' They're right next door. How can it be more obvious than that?"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 19, 2017
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pastor claims his shoe can cure vaginal warts. In somewhat related news, Red Forman claims his shoe can cure dumbassery
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 18, 2017
(TMZ)
 
 
 
The Lord Jesus Christ takes time off from his busy schedule of appearing on toast and is promptly arrested for Trump assassination threat
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 11, 2017
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"It's never too early to start thinking about what I'll put up next Christmas," says man whose Satanic display in a public park to combat the Jesus stuff drew criticism, applause
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 10, 2017
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Actual headline: 2 Ohio men in hot water after prank involving zombie decor, frozen pond
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 09, 2017
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Buzzcocks re-release original vinyl ep - 40 years later. Subby feels old, remembers buying original when it came out
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 08, 2017
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Uh, yeah
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It's cool when somebody spray paints graffiti on the rocks along a popular hiking trail as long as the messages is positive. "I actually did a snapchat of it because I thought that's really cool to see something that I think the world really needs"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 04, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Jesus never read the Bible
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 27, 2016
(Algemeiner)
 
 
 
Now that Christmas is over let us remind our Christian Friends that Jesus and all his followers were devout Jews and the term Christian didn't come to many years later, basically today they would be those Jews with the black hats and beards
source: algemeiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 26, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Christmas is over. So when should you take down the decorations?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 25, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump team accuses media of politicizing RNC email asking Americans to celebrate "the good news of a new king"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Jolly Old Elf)
 
 
 
Merry Christmas, You Filthy Farkers
source: timeanddate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 24, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Teenager who rescued a stray cat just received some very unexpected holiday presents when her new kitty gave birth to Noel, Joy, Christmas, and Faith under the tree, just in time for a very merry Caturday
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
"It's not every day you see Jesus and Crocodile Dundee running out of a landing craft, but there you go"
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 22, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich admits his mistake, says Trump still wants to drain the swamp in Washington ...not realizing he's part of 'the swamp'
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 21, 2016
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Breitbarters upset anyone would question Jesus's existence, claim he and other illegal aliens are in front of Home Depot right now
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When it comes to erecting a 300-pound pentagram near a Nativity scene, there's no hate like Christian hate. "Keep Saturn in Saturnalias"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 20, 2016
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Nativity scene removed over concerns it might offend town's four Muslims. That makes no frankincense
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
tl;dr: You'll die a slow and painful death from an easily treatable medical condition, just like Jesus™ wanted
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 19, 2016
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman takes baby Jesus from Nativity, delivers to hospital, reports neglect
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMAZ Macon)
 
 
 
Because Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, some churches have decided not to hold a Sunday service
source: 13wmaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 15, 2016
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Rufus Wainwright discusses his close relationship with the late, lamented Leonard Cohen
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Ben Carson lists his Palm Beach home for sale. No word if it includes that painting of him meeting Jesus
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 14, 2016
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Man ordered to leave Six Flags over Texas because he looked too much like famous imaginary character. No, not Jesus, the other one
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Babylon Bee)
 
 
 
If you're going to use a Bible verse on your holiday card, you might want to make sure you know what it says
source: babylonbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Joseph doesn't want to be a single dad, say owners of nativity scene. Maybe some nice Farker can find a James statue so Joseph can have a partner
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Paleoanthropologists discover oldest known evidence of Jesus carrying man on the beach
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
The traditional Nativity scene in parts of Spain includes Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men and their camels, a guy taking a dump, shepherds, various livestock, and can we go back to that one item?
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 13, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your nativity scene doesn't have dogs, a bacon Jesus and some guy's hairy ass hanging out, you've failed at Christmas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 12, 2016
(The Local)
 
 
 
Spanish dildo nativity scene to be reinstated after being pulled
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Street preacher decided to preach at kids waiting in line for Santa by telling them that Santa isn't real, but Jesus totally is. One of the kids' dad decided to preach back
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 07, 2016
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Some wise guy stole the baby Jesus from a Nativity scene in Bethlehem. Pennsylvania
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Want a fun game that's even more likely to start a fistfight than the average round of Monopoly? Then why not try Santa vs. Jesus?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 06, 2016
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Jesus H. Christ get out of the road, there's a mysterious silver spaceship tank loaded with aliens rolling around Brooklyn
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 05, 2016
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A recap of last night's episode of The Walking Dead, which featured lots of exposition and left viewers scratching their heads, wondering what the denouement is going to be for the season [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 01, 2016
(Illawara Mercury (Australia))
 
 
 
Jesus-thieving three admit Wollongong mall nativity heist. Try saying THAT three times fast
source: illawarramercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 30, 2016
(Politico)
 
 
 
Wait, what if we make a religion praising "Socialist Jesus"? If they implement Christian Sharia, we'll say it "goes against our deeply held, Christian beliefs". That'll work, right?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 29, 2016
(Fox News)
 
 
 
As Jesus said, Let he who has not faked his own kidnapping after a drug-fueled binge with transgender prostitutes cast the first stone
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 28, 2016
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
"For North American audiences, the idea of a comedic story about the mundane misadventures of Jesus Christ and Gautama Buddha living as roommates might seem strange, perhaps even offensive. In Japan, however, " and you know the rest
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 27, 2016
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Sovereign citizens have some strange beliefs. Including the notion that Jesus created the X-Men
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: The Elf on the Shelf. New Hotness 'Hipster' Nativity scene
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 24, 2016
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Um...did we forget something today? As God as my witness, I think we may have
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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