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102 headlines found matching 'jesus'
Wed June 22, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Michelle Bachmann is one of Trump's " evangelical advisors". Jesus
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 21, 2016
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
Note to IndyCamp/Occupy Scotland/Scotxit/whatever protesters: Claiming that Jesus is the rightful monarch of Scotland and calling the judge a blasphemer is not a sound legal strategy
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ecards)
 
 
 
Poorly tattooed Nazi sympathizer MySpace dwarf Tila Tequila goes on a rant against painfully unfunny marriage ruiner Sarah Silverman
source: someecards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 17, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by Jesus in a piece of French Toast or the many other places that Jesus appears, man finds Allah in a slice of watermelon
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 16, 2016
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
GOP consultants have opinions about Cheeto Jesus
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Remember the fuss over the "Gospel of Jesus' Wife" papyrus? Elegant but brutal article exposes the owner and probable forger. Bonus: the Stasi, Florida and porn sites also involved
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 15, 2016
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Help Mel Gibson design a poster for his sequel to The Passion of The Christ
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 14, 2016
(ESPN FC)
 
 
 
Jesus Beer rescues Mexico vs. Venezuela
source: espnfc.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Televangelist wingnut Jim Bakker had a guest on his show that claimed Hillary Clinton is possessed by the "spirit of the anti-Christ." It's even more terrifying when you realize his viewers probably believe it
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 10, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Christian bookstore posts Mark Twain quote in their window encouraging people to read the Bible. Internet: I do not think it means what you think it means
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bipartisan Report)
 
 
 
Trump thinks of Jesus as his own personal assistant who helps him by believing in him (Trump) and often, Jesus also gets Trump his coffee. However, if Jesus is late, he gets fired like any other Hispanic
source: bipartisanreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boomstick Comics)
 
 
 
Mel Gibson will blame the Jews again with a sequel to 'The Passion of the Christ'. Nailed it
source: boomstickcomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 09, 2016
(Vindy News)
 
 
 
Meet Donald Trump's 'liaison for Christian policy,' a man who once received immunity to testify in a case-fixing trial and says he stopped a tsunami by praying to Jesus
source: vindy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Seeing Mary or Jesus on a tree stump. New and Improved: Seeing Donald Trump on the bathroom tile
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 08, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New study shows Jesus could very well have ridden a Tyrannosaurus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 07, 2016
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Co-owners of building take 200 years to agree on renovations. Maybe that's why the previous tenant walked out after 3 days
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 06, 2016
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Europe on the brink of obeying Jesus's order from Matthew 6:6
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 05, 2016
(The New Orleans Advocate)
 
 
 
He had just finished watching 'Field of Dreams' and thought, 'Maybe if I make a Craigslist ad about a sex party at Tina's.' Nothing bad could possibly happen ... Oops, guess those New Orleans cops are serious
source: theneworleansadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 02, 2016
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
School worker arrested for selling marijuana to 13 year old student, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, impersonanting Potato Jesus without a license
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 01, 2016
(The Convers8tion (Australia))
 
 
 
Sex ed classes in The Netherlands teach kids that sex is fun and enjoyable, instead of the American approach of scaring the bejesus out of kids so they won't try it. Guess which approach works?
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
You nail yourself up on that cross or does someone have to help you with the last bit?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 31, 2016
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Jesus H. Christ get out of the way, there's a giant hamster roaming through London looking for the city's giant ferris wheel
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat May 28, 2016
(Google)
 
 
 
What are your beliefs?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 27, 2016
(The Convers8tion (Australia))
 
 
 
"I know, let's ruin Game of Thrones by over-analyzing it and comparing it to The Bible and all sorts of resurrection stories"
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 26, 2016
(Estately)
 
 
 
The bizarre questions each U.S. state asks Google: from "am I a sociopath?" in Texas to "how to open a jar" from North Carolina. Suddenly, so many things make sense
source: blog.estately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 25, 2016
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Christian death metal singer comes out as an atheist. Oddly enough, some people have a problem turning the other cheek
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 23, 2016
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
From the "Grasping at Straws Dept" Evangelical leaders have convinced themselves that thrice-married, serial adulterer Donald Trump who has stated he has never asked Jesus for forgiveness, expresses his devout Christianity with a secret hand gesture
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Police investigate vandalism at Cadillac Church. To be fair, Jesus would have probably worshiped in a Pontiac or something more low-key
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun May 22, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Jesus: Son of God. Savior of the Christian Faith. The first transgendered man, The light and the...wait, WAT
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 20, 2016
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Compassionate conservative televangelist Pat Robertson says drug addicts who "won't work or get treatment should be left to starve to death." Just like Jesus would want
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 17, 2016
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ewan McGregor to play Jesus Christ. The idea came from all of those people muttering "Jesus Christ" as they walked out of the Star Wars prequels
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 16, 2016
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Tired of Jesus getting all of the attention? Here is a puddle that looks exactly like the Queen celebrating her long rain
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Site of Jesus' baptism to be cleared of mines after 50 years (autoplay video - it's Chicken Noodle News, after all)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 13, 2016
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Remember, you have to bolt Jesus Christ to the cross, or he may get down and start stabbing people
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Not a great day for those with friggatriskaidekaphobia - of course not to be confused with kjahfjkajklhfbalsfbaphobia which is the irrational fear of falling asleep on your keyboard
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 11, 2016
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Pastor says gorgeous women in his church can't find dates because all the men are losers playing video games and are possessed by a retarded spirit
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 10, 2016
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"Faith-based" mental health "treatment center" convinces Iowa man he doesn't need all those anti-depressants and anti-psychotics he was prescribed, all he really needed was Jesus and vitamins. Suicide-attempt-larity ensues
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen (Ortonville))
 
 
 
"Why yes indeed I believe Jesus pooped"
source: thecitizenonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 09, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Just imagine how bad it would have been had he been christened Seriously Disturbed Dean Bryan
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 06, 2016
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I Have Failed You, My Prince Of Shadows. I Return To Hell In Disgrace"
source: aboveaverage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you are talking about so here is Voldemort on a cat's rear end
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HexJam)
 
 
 
Voldermort is the cat's ass
source: hexjam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 05, 2016
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
$500 worth of Bibles stolen from Christian store. Hopefully whoever took them gets to the part about the Eighth Commandment
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 04, 2016
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Scuze me do you have a minute to talk about Jesus our Lord?
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 03, 2016
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Jesus arrested. This is not a repeat of AD 32
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 02, 2016
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Satanists reject Boehner's claims that Ted Cruz is Lucifer incarnate. Say, "comparing Ted Cruz to Satan, as besmirching the positive, heroic aspects of that character from Paradise Lost." In other words, Ted Cruz makes Satan look like Jesus
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri April 29, 2016
(Slate)
 
 
 
Obama's hypocritical drug policy is his Iran-Contra, which was Reagan's Watergate, which was Nixon's Waterloo, which was Napoleon's Battle of Hastings, which was King Harold's Calvary, which was Jesus' Troy, which was
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bono wants Christian Rock to stop simply replacing "Baby" with "Jesus"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu April 28, 2016
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Dog is great
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed April 27, 2016
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
"Trom-bones... get it?" "Jesus Carl, a man is dead"
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Bernie's political revolution failed because poor people have permanently given up on politics: "It would take Jesus himself to come down and tell them to go vote"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
.....and now for Jesus's next miracle he dances the jig, he twerks, he backflips and halo-flings with his buskers
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue April 26, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox and Friends host suggest Americans "vote by prayer" so "God can determine the best candidate"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look, if crucifying Jesus on a dartboard isn't art, man, I don't want to know what art is
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat April 23, 2016
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Well, it's a river, what's the worst that could happen if we put a lighter to i- JESUS FRACKING CHRIST
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu April 21, 2016
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
Bad: Teaching 10-year-olds to behead their enemies. Fark: In Australian public schools. WTFark: Christian religious education
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed April 20, 2016
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
There's always womb for Jesus
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
In a battle of "Huh, they're still alive?", Pat Boone accuses SNL of Anti-Christian bias after their "God's Not Dead 2" parody
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
In rare radio address, Fidel Castro tells his nation not to worry about his declining health because he'll be going to meet Jesus soon
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri April 15, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Good news people of Mississippi, you can now bring your guns to church to protect the baby Jesus
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus would have
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu April 14, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Oy vey: John Kasich Jesus-splains to New York Jews how Passover is linked to Christ's blood
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's favorite Bible quote: "An eye for an eye." But Jesus specifically overturned that rule in Matthew 5:38 saying "but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other as well." So does that mean Trump isn't a Christian?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed April 13, 2016
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Texas A.G. goes all in, says "Fark it, y'all can carry a loaded weapon right into a courthouse, just as Jesus intended," much to the chagrin of every sane judge in the state
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun April 10, 2016
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Dear Jesus. Please help us to turn left, keep us safe, and elect a Republican president in November. Love, NASCAR
source: screengrabber.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri April 08, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
The right wing vows to do something about this Pope because he wants to "tolerate" gays, not beat them up like Jesus would do
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu April 07, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Questions you can expect to be asked during a routine traffic stop in Indiana: "Do you know how fast you were going?" "How many drinks have you had?" "Have you been saved by Jesus Christ?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed April 06, 2016
(eNews Channel Africa)
 
 
 
A self-claimed 'prophet' said he went to Heaven and took pictures on his smartphone and is willing to share.... I mean sell them to you
source: enca.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 31, 2016
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
Darius Slay compares D'Angelo Russell to Jesus Christ
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 30, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jesus: Free to good home. Must bring own truck
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 29, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Jesus falls off cross during crucifixion reenactment in Guatemala. They should have used longer nails
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ Magazine (UK))
 
 
 
ISIS now has merch
source: gq-magazine.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Jesus slashed in the face in Spain - hasn't the dude been through enough?
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon March 28, 2016
(MLB Trade Rumors)
 
 
 
Another Easter indignity for Jesus
source: mlbtraderumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Answers to some of your questions about Batman vs. Superman. Answers not included to questions such as, "WTF?" (SPOILERS INSIDE)
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun March 27, 2016
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Mexico's Easter Eve celebrations included the usual festivities; egg hunts, reflections on Jesus, burning effigies of Donald Trump, and chocolate
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat March 26, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, go be gay somewhere else
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tired of being upstaged by Jesus and Mary, Satan makes an appearance in a steak
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri March 25, 2016
(Slate)
 
 
 
Think you know why they call it Good Friday? YOU KNOW NOTHING, SIR
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just in time for Easter, Chris is risen
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 24, 2016
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day that ISIS traditionally crucifies a kidnapped priest
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri March 18, 2016
(Chron)
 
 
 
It's time to play "Guess the State." Today's clue: Official may have spent taxpayer money to get a 'Jesus shot' from a crackpot felon 'doctor'
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 16, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It's Wednesday, so Ted Cruz backer suggests drowning Girl Scout leaders
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 15, 2016
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
12 Angels who are actually enormous assholes. Gabriel just can't stop being a dick
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the Christians who are the problem
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon March 14, 2016
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Pastor speaking at Trump rally: Bernie Sanders needs to find Jesus
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Old and busted: "Nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo" New hotness: "You killed Jesus"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun March 13, 2016
(Den of Geek (US))
 
 
 
Will Carol and Maggie meet Negan, or will his reveal drag on until the finale? Will Jesus continue saving Alexandria? Will Richonne bloom? Will Tobin cry? Find out in The Same Boat. It's your Walking Dead Discussion Thread, 9PM ET on AMC
source: denofgeek.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri March 11, 2016
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Oklahoma abolishes licensing and training requirements for open carry--because Jesus. No, really
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recordnet)
 
 
 
After accidentally inviting an LBGT-friendly church to participate, a Stockton, CA ecumenical foundation decides to cancel Easter rather than risk accidentally praying with gay people, yanno just like Jesus would have done
source: recordnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 10, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Matthew 5:39
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Jon English, Australian singer-songwriter and Pirate King, dead at 66
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 09, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The worst restoration job since Monkey Jesus fresco
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Attention ladies. Josh Duggar will be back on the market any day now
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Megachurch shutting down after members catch on that they've been tithing to a megachurch. Just kidding, it's because a woman ascended to pastor, which some members considered an insult to Jesus and thus broke away to form their own church
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
In one day, the MO Senate votes to defund Planned Parenthood and let you commit crimes for Jesus
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon March 07, 2016
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Le ring to sacre bleu them all
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun March 06, 2016
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
The Saviors have been introduced. Jesus is just alright with the Alexandrians. Negan and Lucille remain in the shadows. Will Richonne's romance bloom? Will Morgan ruin everything? It's your The Walking Dead Discussion Thread, 9PM ET on AMC
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 03, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Georgia's GOP governor uses passages from the New Testament to reject a sweeping, bigoted anti-LGBT "religious freedom" bill. WE HAVE GONE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, PEOPLE
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 01, 2016
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
The Christian Post urges its readers to "back away" from Donald Trump, noting his distinctly unChristian attitudes and language. Come for the article, stay for the glorious trainwreck that is the comment thread
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 29, 2016
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A breakdown of "Knots Untie," the latest episode of The Walking Dead, which featured the debut of Hilltop and not much else. Like the farm episodes of season two
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun February 28, 2016
(Den of Geek (US))
 
 
 
Will Jesus be the Alexandrians' savior or their greatest threat? Will Carol and Daryl get quiet time? Will Negan and Lucille make their long-awaited debut? Find out in Knots Untie. It's your The Walking Dead Discussion Thread, 9PM ET on AMC
source: denofgeek.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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