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109 headlines found matching 'jesus'
Tue January 16, 2018
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
What Would Jesus Do? Stab a neighbour then punch him in the face, apparently
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 12, 2018
(Fark)
 
 
 
You're getting your next car, and you're faced with the lease vs. buy question. Leasing looks cheaper, so what is the path of lease resistance? Is it the leased squares problem?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
20 offensive, ugly or just plain weird wine labels, like the Jesus / Michael Jackson mash-up (not a slideshow)
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump losing his deplorable base. We're OK with the rampant racism but the potty mouth really pisses off Jesus
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 11, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Apparently forcing kids to work at your fish market for free is not legal, even if you're doing it for Jesus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 10, 2018
(Fark)
 
 
 
Almighty Prosperity Jesus bestows riches on the deserving so that we may easily identify and bless them. And fark the poors, for they have been forsaken by Almighty Prosperity Jesus. Which category are you?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 09, 2018
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Scienticians say they've discovered the molecule that could revert cellular aging, sustain cold fusion, and be the basis for your flying car. Notice the lack of "get you laid"
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 08, 2018
(Aleteia)
 
 
 
The magi that visited the baby Jesus weren't Christian...or Jewish. They were probably just men who studied...like scientists or witches
source: aleteia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 07, 2018
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Sara Bareilles joins the cast of NBC's next disastrous live musical
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 04, 2018
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
R.I.P. Hollywood Jesus ...may you rise again on Hollywood Boulevard
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald.co.zw)
 
 
 
"Jesus: Greatest lawyer for mankind" See how far you can get through this word salad
source: herald.co.zw   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 02, 2018
(Arkansas Matters)
 
 
 
Islamic congregation pays fine of Arkansas man who vandalised their mosque, saving him from jail. Jesus wept
source: arkansasmatters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 30, 2017
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Law student, worried about people finding out he supports Roy Moore, sends Facebook message to Roy Moore, who promptly outs him as a Roy Moore supporter
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 26, 2017
(Independent)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, it's a lion. Get in the *CLANG* never mind
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 25, 2017
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Step 1: Take off your top. Step 2: Steal Baby Jesus from Vatican nativity. Step 3: Defeat the patriarchy?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
So why do we celebrate Christmas on December 25?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
It's gotten to where a Muslim can't even celebrate Christmas without receiving death threats. From other Muslims
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 24, 2017
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Will the real reborn Jesus please step forward so we can write off the rest of these heathens from around the world?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
If Jesus were alive today, where would he spend Christmas? Well, the closest we have to his Bethlehem is this refugee camp on the isle of Lesbos
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Another year, another round of "Let's remember the true meaning of Christmas" lectures from the media
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 23, 2017
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Mission accomplished
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Louis Public Radio)
 
 
 
Christian nursing home fires its entire union workforce rather than pay its workers a living wage. JUST like Jesus wanted
source: news.stlpublicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 22, 2017
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
"Reason for the season? Gettysburg HOA says Jesus sign must go"
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 20, 2017
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Pope Francis to preside over ex-Boston cardinal Bernard Law's funeral, soon as he figures out what's Latin for "Nothing to see here, move along"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"When the poet makes his perfect selection of a word, he is endowing the word with life." --John Drinkwater. Huh, what word to use, what word to use . . . I've got it. 'Moist' This is your Fark writer's thread, a dark and moist night edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Remember that live production of 'Jesus Christ Superstar' coming to NBC on Easter and featuring Alice Cooper? Well they just cast John Legend as Jesus. In other news, Baptist heads in Deep South begin to assplode
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 19, 2017
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jesus is on a roll: The worst nativity scenes of 2017
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Twitter unleashes on Little Marco after he writes a Biblical verse how it's better to be poor than rich
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 18, 2017
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
End of days comes for Ohio man's 'zombie Nativity' scene
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Baby Jesus' head, arm stolen from Nativity scene, presumably by someone practicing to kill zombies
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 16, 2017
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Jim Bakker totally believes this guy who says a meteor "confirmed" that Pope Francis is nothing but a false prophet of the Book of Revelation
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Let's see what half-scoop is up to on Twitter- Oh Jesus
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 15, 2017
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Americans are less religious, largely unconcerned about 'War on Christmas'. FOX News scrambles to replace 87 hours of programming
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 14, 2017
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
Video
 
Sheep in nativity scene picks Baby Jesus out of manger to cuddle, Mary forced to defend her baby at all costs
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 13, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Man in charge of keys to Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem: "I absolutely refuse to officially welcome the American Vice President Mr. Mike Pence at the Church of the Holy Sepulchere and I will not be physically in church during his visit"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Watching a Hallmark Christmas movie where Angela Lansbury is Mrs. Claus and gets involved in women's suffrage and it's a musical. Why is this not a gay icon?" Bonus Fark Handle: Red Jesus
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Aquarium finds novel way to keep nativity scene safe from vandals
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 12, 2017
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
New production of 'Jesus Christ Superstar' to be broadcast live on NBC on Easter Sunday which ironically, falls on April 1. What could be more ironic? They just cast Alice Cooper
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 11, 2017
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Evangelicals now believe Jesus was a child molester. They must, it's the only way they could come to this conclusion
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is Bizarro Jesus
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Every farking year. You know this wouldn't happen if they'd just nail Him down
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 10, 2017
(STLToday)
 
 
 
From the mailbag: "Pretty sure Mary didn't have her bra showing at the birth of Jesus. Poor taste, Monsignor"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 09, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dear Jesus, please let us war start to kill off all the bad people Mommy and Daddy hate. But if you can help my mouse Whiskers feel better, that would be great. God bless Momma, God Bless Daddy, God bless Whiskers, and God Bless Merica. Amen
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 08, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, It's a Lion. Get In The Car. Wait, is it hugging that guy?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
If it's Christmas time, it must be hipster nativity scene time. "Why does Mary have a coffee in her hand?"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pope Francis calls for Lord's Prayer to be altered as current wording suggests God is capable of leading people "into temptation." Wait, you mean he can't?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 07, 2017
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Cats hate Jesus
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 06, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Radical authoritarian clergy to begin forced conversions of local student population while US authorities do little to stop the spread of sharia law in the region
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 05, 2017
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama church updates sign to read 'They falsely accused Jesus. Vote Roy Moore.'
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 01, 2017
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
This just in: Donald Trump doesn't understand the Bible
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Brace yourself, religious fundamentalists: proof of Jesus showing his brother "the forbidden Greek teachings". But I'm sure it was only an experimental phase
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
"Trump is God's anointed and is never wrong." THIS IS WHAT REPUBLICANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 30, 2017
(BBC)
 
 
 
There are two types of people: Those that believe 'Die Hard' is a Christmas movie, and those that are wrong
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 29, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Restoration team finds note hidden in Jesus' butt
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
According to pastor and Trump supporter Rick Wiles, all of these sexual misconduct allegations are the fault of Godless liberals
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 28, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Who could POSSIBLY have an issue with a 'gaytivity' scene featuring two Josephs dressed in pink watching over baby Jesus? Oh, right
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New tests at the site of "Jesus' tomb" in Jerusalem confirm traditional beliefs that it was built in the 4th century by Romans
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Administration is trying to Christianize the government. Which will help in recruiting anyone who wants to drink wine at work
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 27, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
The Walking Dead sure enjoys airing episodes that waste a lot of down time, and last night's episode was no exception, though we got some good moments with Carol, Maggie, and Ezekiel. Though the Trash Romulans are annoying [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 25, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Never before in history has a group been so aggressively persecuted
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 20, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some 2000 years ago, Jesus turned water into wine. This guy in Tasmania is turning sheep whey into vodka
source: weeklytimesnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
And here it is ladies and gentlemen, the reason why trying to reason with them is a waste of your breath: "Trump voter: 'If Jesus Christ told me Trump colluded with Russia, I'd check with Trump.'" It's not politics anymore, it's idolatry
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A recap of last night's episode of The Walking Dead, which was just a lot of filler, a bit of Negan's backstory, and nothing but a waste of viewers' time and patience [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 19, 2017
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
So, about that whole "Mary was a teenager, Joseph was an adult" argument the GOP has been trying to use in defense of the indefensible
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 18, 2017
(Grind TV)
 
Video
 
Jesus Christ, it's a lion eating the car!
source: grindtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
So apparently Jim Bakker has a lot of pancake mix he REALLY needs to clear out of the warehouse
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 17, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
This year's reason to be outraged over Starbucks cups is: (throws dart at board) They're promoting the gay agenda
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 16, 2017
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
The secret meaning of the Oreo cookie design
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 14, 2017
(The Northern Echo (UK))
 
 
 
Sausage company issues apology after Advent calendar replaces baby Jesus with a sausage roll. Mmmm... sweet, sweet baby Jesus
source: thenorthernecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 08, 2017
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Um, yeah; Gay Talese orders Kevin Spacey's accusers to "suck it up"
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 07, 2017
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Police capture fugitive polygamist and his wife and his wife and his wife and his wife
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dallas man arrested near White House for threatening to kill Sting
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 06, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A recap of last night's The Walking Dead, in which we saw more talking, more monologueing, more Shiva, and of course the obligatory ancillary character death [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 03, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chief executive of Kenya film classification board: Gay lions 'need counselling' and 'must have been influenced by homosexual men behaving badly in national parks'. Jesus Christ
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 02, 2017
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Obscure LDS humor: handing fake mission call letters to prospective missionaries. Postings to exotic locales as the Forest Moon of Endor and Mordor are popular
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 01, 2017
(Vox)
 
 
 
Employer demanding health insurer not cover drug that can benefit half its employees because Jesus
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 30, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Scientists try to find answer to why people keep seeing ghosts. Face of Jesus burnt into toast unavailable for comment
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chick)
 
 
 
9 easy ways to be the worst house ever on Halloween
source: chick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 20, 2017
(Vox)
 
 
 
Indiana county shuts down successful needle exchange program because Jesus
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 18, 2017
(LA Times)
 
 
 
People have been wondering if the missing security guard from the Las Vegas shootings was possibly involved in it? Or maybe he was kidnapped? Or maybe.... oh, never mind, he's just a sellout. Jesus Campos to appear on Ellen show
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 17, 2017
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Blessed are the obvious
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Jesus has left the building
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun October 15, 2017
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior or we'll ruin your life, you ignorant little brat . . . er, sorry, we meant graduating AP Honors student
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Michele Bachmann praises Trump as a "man of faith" at the Values Voters Summit while another says Jesus would have Tweeted just like Trump
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 14, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
[Citation Needed]
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 13, 2017
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
The rich receive more housing welfare than the poor, just as Jesus intended
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 11, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
If you are an atheist you can thank your parents, for not raising you right
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Boiling river of wine / Sweet Jesus / Boiling river of wine / Flowing through a cha-arred winery / Boiling river of wine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nothing good can happen when you leave your little toddler behind in the middle of a corn maze all alone
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 09, 2017
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
God may be your co-pilot, but don't pay attention to Jesus when he tells you to tailgate that cop
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 06, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Sessions releases religious freedom guidelines. Basically, Christians can do whatever they want as long as they say "Jesus" afterwards
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Trump rolls back mandatory birth control coverage under ObamaCare because Jesus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Leopard loose in car factory. Well, at least the workers have cars to get into, Jesus Christ
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 05, 2017
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Jesus Trifecta Complete
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
"God killed those people in Vegas," claims Dave Daubenmire, who confirms that the invisible sky wizard is the greatest mass murderer in history
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Why did the Las Vegas massacre happen? According to Fox & Friends, it was because there isn't enough Jesus in this country
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jesus is back. Look busy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
...and now let us speak of Jesus Campos, the unarmed security guard at the Mandalay Bay who was not only the first person to locate Stephen Paddock's room, but who then chose to take him on, got shot, and still managed to lead police with his radio
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 28, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Megachurch pastor begs for forgiveness after wife tells NFL protesters to wait for Jesus to fix racism
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 27, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Writer apparently has a stroke while trying to disprove atheism
source: hellenicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 24, 2017
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Wonder why I never saw that coming
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 23, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Strike that. Reverse it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Jim Bakker says if you're too cheap to buy his food buckets, you will have to answer to God on an empty stomach once the rapture hits
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 22, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Jesus, what the fark is the matter with his face?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to own the mansion from the "Talladega Nights" movie, then you are in luck... if you can pony up the asking price of $4.2 million
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 21, 2017
(Patheos)
 
 
 
The most fabulous Bible ever
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Alabama senate front runner goes full Republican Jesus. you never go full Republican Jesus
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 20, 2017
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Gene Simmons of KISS also likes Trump. What? A preening, self-righteous, talentless, narcissist thinks Trump is OK? No, really?
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 19, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore thinks every American should get a bullet between the eyes because they don't love Jesus enough. He'll most likely win in a landslide
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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