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Headlines matching 'jail'
Fri February 10, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(msnbc) Spiffy IRS updates their smartphone app. Will now check your tax return and immediately tell how much jail time you can realistically expect to serve  (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com) (37)


Tue February 07, 2012
(BBC) Dumbass Doctor jailed for conducting thorough examination of epilepsy patient. By which I mean squeezing her breasts, stripping her naked and performing an internal examination. Still, at least he ruled out lupus  (bbc.co.uk) (44)


Wed February 01, 2012
(E! Online) Dumbass After a rough night at Quark's, Captain Sisko beamed to jail for taking the helm of the Defiant while drunk  (eonline.com) (59)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Politico) Asinine John Edwards, facing jail time for federal campaign finance violations, spends $164,000 out of campaign account between October and December  (politico.com) (29)


Sun January 29, 2012
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Don't you hate it when you come home from jail just to find a burglar in your house?  (tampabay.com) (29)


Sat January 28, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail 11 year-old, super tough guy-in-training, picks on woman with baby stroller. Has to pull his gun to make sure everyone knows he is a true gangster. Ends up in jail. Next up-stealing candy from 5-year-old girls  (katu.com) (298)


Wed January 25, 2012
(Philly.com) Dumbass AZ man arrested for refusing to leave jail  (philly.com) (29)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Jacksonville Daily News) Dumbass Jailed man accused of hiding handgun in rectum. Damn near killed him  (jdnews.com) (40)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass If you sell a broken car, you are a douche, if you sell a broken monkey, you go to jail  (dailymail.co.uk) (17)


Thu January 12, 2012
(Detroit Free Press) Dumbass Billionaire shocked to learn that being in contempt of court leads to a jailin'  (freep.com) (57)
(TC Palm) Florida Man calls 911 while in taxi and claims he's being kidnapped to avoid paying cab fare. Because this is Florida, he makes seven more 911 calls when the first fails and gets his drunk self thrown in jail  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (4)


Wed January 11, 2012
(Canoe) Dumbass Stripper jailed for banging man who refused to pay  (cnews.canoe.ca) (177)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting Proposed bill in Israel would make "Godwining" a crime punishable by six months in jail and a $25,000 fine. You know who ELSE like to criminalize unpopular speech?  (news.yahoo.com) (218)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Washington Post) Scary Driver to spend 20 years in jail for not being a Kennedy  (washingtonpost.com) (72)
(La Crosse Tribune) Dumbass Want to convince a judge that you can't move your arms? Don't do pushups in your jail cell, idiot  (lacrossetribune.com) (20)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Good news for iPhone 4S and iPad 2 users: Hacker to release untethered jailbreak within a week. Bad news for iPhone 4S and iPad 2 users: you are still using an overpriced piece of shiat, but hey, you can now change your wallpaper  (ibtimes.com) (62)


Fri December 30, 2011
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Federal appeals court rules that corporations are very very special kinds of people that don't get sent to jail like ordinary people do  (businessweek.com) (118)


Thu December 22, 2011
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Man punches three bar patrons in the face after getting booed off stage during karaoke. He's singing "In the Jailhouse Now"  (thesmokinggun.com) (29)


Wed December 21, 2011
(The New York Times) Asinine If you talk to people about jury nullification, this prosecutor will seek to have you jailed for six months. Subby wonders what the prosecutor might do to anyone who talks about the First Amendment  (nytimes.com) (307)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Under a new ordinance, Atlanta parents can face a $1,000 fine and up to 60 days in jail when their precious little snowflakes skip school  (ajc.com) (156)


Fri December 16, 2011
(News.com.au) Dumbass Mall Santa asks boy with autism if he wants a jail cell for Christmas  (news.com.au) (177)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Bloomberg) Obvious Chinese haxxors are stealing petabytes worth of proprietary data from foreign countries and corporations. In other news, the US just passed legislation to put you in jail for stealing photoshop  (mobile.bloomberg.com) (56)


Mon December 12, 2011
(The New York Times) Scary Riverside County, California's jail will soon cost as much per night as a hotel stay. A hotel where they garnish your wages to pay for your room  (nytimes.com) (94)


Thu December 08, 2011
(LA Times) Asinine American citizen gets 2 1/2 year jail sentence for insulting Thai goat ball licker  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (107)


Fri December 02, 2011
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Just FYI, ordering "blunt and some herbs" at the Burger King drive-thru could get your ass thrown into jail in Florida  (mysuncoast.com) (72)
(YouTube) Asinine Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape  (youtube.com) (138)


Thu December 01, 2011
(YouTube) Florida One woman, 15 children by 5 babydaddys, fiancée in jail and "somebody needs to pay for ALL my chilren"  (youtube.com) (309)
(BBC) Followup Jailed Amish beard cutters denied bail over fears they pose a buggy risk  (bbc.co.uk) (15)
(Some Guy) Fail Man deported four prior times shows up in South Carolina jail. OK Alex, I'll take "Immigration reform, my ass" for $200 please  (thesunnews.com) (19)
(The eXiled) Sad Reporter who immigrated from USSR gets a case of deja vu as he's locked in jail for covering American democracy protest  (exiledonline.com) (283)


Wed November 30, 2011
(My Fox DC) Interesting 1 lawmaker + 1 underage prostitute + 161 more prostitutes = 0 days in jail, thanks to his lawyer, otherwise known as "the best lawyer in the world"  (myfoxdc.com) (63)
(Some Diggler) Florida Miami's federal jail overrun with strippers posing as paralegals. "In a scene straight out of a porno, one woman was caught on video stripping for an inmate. They are making a mockery out of the prison system"  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (54)


Tue November 29, 2011
(CNN) Sad Man who carefully planned a mass slaughter, picked a place where it would be unlikely that the people could defend themselves, then carefully and calmly executed 77 people declared "insane", won't face jail time  (cnn.com) (258)
(Washington Post) Strange It's the classic story: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl get drunk and have sex. Girl tells boy she has AIDS. Boy shoots girl in head with shotgun. Girl survives. Boy goes to jail. Bonus: Girl was just joking, doesn't really have AIDS  (washingtonpost.com) (211)


Sat November 26, 2011
(Some Guy) Stupid Man with 17 DUIs who was caught driving on probation gets the eight years in jail that he was supposed to get. Just kidding, they let him go with a stern lecture. Possibly a raised eyebrow  (salemnews.com) (116)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Yahoo) Cool A 345-pound man in jail is freed nine days early thanks to a Lake County, Fla., judge's "lose-a-pound, gain-a-day" deal. Cool tag beats out Florida tag in this case  (news.yahoo.com) (44)


Thu November 24, 2011
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Thanksgiving in jail (w/ pic)  (tampabay.com) (51)


Sat November 19, 2011
(WDTN) Dumbass Compulsive squirrel feeder faces 60 days in jail because she insists on feeding her neighbors' squirrels too  (wdtn.com) (72)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Local10) Florida If the boyfriend you're picking up from jail immediately attacks and strangles you, it may be a sign your relationship has some unresolved issues  (local10.com) (80)


Fri November 11, 2011
(News.com.au) Dumbass Texting driver jailed for killing cyclist. He'll BRB in 20 months, LOL  (news.com.au) (119)


Tue November 08, 2011
(WWL) Amusing Man sends his 16-year-old wife in to distract cashier, "dressed provocatively, low cut shirt and short pants, in an attempt to distract the cashier." With hot jailbait mugshot goodness  (wwl.com) (184)
(National Parks Traveler) Sad Four men get jail time for digging up ginseng in national park, as authorities look to root out poaching of endangered plant  (nationalparkstraveler.com) (45)
(BBC) Amusing Police find 19 prostitutes and 100 fighting cocks in Mexican jail. Naturally  (bbc.co.uk) (18)


Mon November 07, 2011
(TMZ) Followup 2:30 AM: Lindsay Lohan released from jail  (tmz.com) (94)
(TMZ) Followup 11:00PM: Lindsay Lohan checks into jail  (tmz.com) (2)


Sun November 06, 2011
(Washington Post) Asinine This ladies and gentlemen, is how you add insult to injury. Or more precisely, how to add jail time to public embarrassment. Stay classy TO  (washingtonpost.com) (58)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Five nerds charged in candy stealing spree. They thought they could make a fast break, but police are reserving a special dark place for them in jail  (ajc.com) (36)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Fox News) Obvious Juan Moore Man Avoids Jail by Faking Illegal Immigrant Status  (foxnews.com) (56)
(Starpulse) Followup Judge orders Lindsay Lohan to finish her Playboy photo shoot before reporting to jail to begin her 30 day sentence  (starpulse.com) (66)
(Nola.com) Dumbass Pop quiz: If a photo on Facebook shows 12 hunters posing with 64 blue-winged teal ducks, but the limit is four teal ducks per hunter, how many days in jail are they looking at?  (nola.com) (96)


Wed November 02, 2011
(MSNBC) Unlikely Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 30 hours in jail  (msnbc.msn.com) (61)
(HelenaIR.com) Dumbass Man tricks his girlfriend into believing he'd been kidnapped by men in skeleton masks on Halloween, gets treated to jail cell and multiple criminal charges for tampering with evidence and drug possession  (helenair.com) (13)


Tue November 01, 2011
(Radar Magazine) Unlikely Los Angeles City Attorney and Los Angeles County District Attorney seeking jail time for Lindsay Lohan. In other news, Charlie Brown hopes to kick the football this time around  (radaronline.com) (48)


Sat October 29, 2011
(AZCentral) Spiffy Arizona drywall contractor faces jail time and $450k in fines for hiring illegal immigrants. Claims he is being unfairly singled out and was not the only Juan doing it  (azcentral.com) (184)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Using a stolen credit card to send money to your jailed boyfriend is a great way to be reunited. (w/ 'You've never been that drunk in your life' mugshot)  (5newsonline.com) (122)


Thu October 27, 2011
(Some Chance Taker) Fail Go Directly To Jail  (abqjournal.com) (61)
(Herald Times Reporter) Unlikely Not news: Man offers drunk woman a ride home from the bar. Not news: She wants to fark in the car. Fark: She winds up in jail for sexual assault, owing him almost $1,600 in restitution. He can buy something really fabulous with that  (htrnews.com) (143)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Gawker) Strange While I'm sure we can all agree that waffles and pancakes are important, one Senator from Vermont wants to make selling 'fake' maple syrup a federal felony carrying up to five years in jail. What a sap  (gawker.com) (163)


Tue October 25, 2011
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man tries to flood his jail cell with toilet water. As expected, back up plan fails  (nwfdailynews.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Asinine Look, citizen, just because we broke down your door, smashed all your windows, busted holes in your wall and left the smell of tear gas while you waited in one of our complimentary jail cells doesn't make us responsible. Sleep tight, citizen  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (125)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Boing Boing) Sick S.978: The copyright gestapo now want to put you in jail for five years for posting a video of yourself singing on Youtube  (boingboing.net) (67)


Sat October 22, 2011
(Some Canuck) Asinine Canada's new crime bill will cost you nine months in jail for passing a joint. This alarms many people, including criminologist Anthony Do... What? Seriously? Ok, yeah, so the guy's name is Doob  (thechronicleherald.ca) (126)


Thu October 20, 2011
(ABC) Sick Bernie Maddoff writes letter to his dead son's daughter-in-law from jail, tells her he is doing the time of his life and informs her about "great new investment possiblity"  (abcnews.go.com) (114)
(MSNBC) Interesting Fark-ready headline: "Five stabbed at 'welcome home from jail' party"  (msnbc.msn.com) (37)
(My Fox DC) Sick Sometimes scientific pioneers are jailed because their ideas are revolutionary and misunderstood. Other times they are jailed for defecating on an electric heater  (myfoxdc.com) (30)

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