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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		So can a Jehovah's Witness institution deny coverage for blood transfusions? Can a Hindu organization deny bovine based insulin? Can a Jewish or Muslim group deny porcine heart valves?   (opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com)	(313)
		U.S. House passes the STOCK Act insider trading bill, without all those pesky insider trading provisions  (huffingtonpost.com)	(74)
		Like a typical politician, Obama wants to be reelected, raise money AND make clear policy distinctions with his opposition. How droll, how uncouth, how offensive to sensibilities of our cherished political punditry. Have you no shame sir?  (politico.com)	(44)
		Attention all: Please join in this protest of Apple's working conditions in hopes to create an "ethical" manufacturing environment - sent from my iPhone  (money.cnn.com)	(51)
		Atlanta airport concessions expects some 1,600 positions to open up, as the airport concessions lays off 530 employees  (ajc.com)	(16)
		Insiders are selling their stock at almost Gaussian proportions. This is clearly a sign that the end times are near and you should convert your 401(k) to canned goods and ammo  (marketwatch.com)	(10)

(IEEE Spectrum)		(Almost) everyone loves the Taiwanese media animations of current news events. Now, learn the cool story of the man behind the Next Media madness (and how they do it so quickly)  (spectrum.ieee.org)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Someone at The American Spectator has finally started asking the right questions  (spectator.org)	(80)
		Nokia dropping connections to 4,000 workers  (businessweek.com)	(11)
		Democratic congressional chairman wants you to know that the millions he sent a state agency was for society's good, not to get his son a $129,000 per year job. And the fact that his son left as soon as he lost the chairmanship? Coincidence  (washingtonpost.com)	(36)

		1,721 megapixel image of Lucas Oil Stadium during the Super Bowl. Share your observations   (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(174)
		Global warming may be responsible for frigid conditions in Europe. Wait, what?  (news.blogs.cnn.com)	(407)
		Why the U.S. Constitution is the Windows 3.1 of constitutions  (nytimes.com)	(331)
		Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family  (hosted.ap.org)	(372)
		Fed up with the decline of his favorite team, the Washington Redskins, former DC Mayor Marion Barry pledges to work with the owner to help get them back in the championship - just kidding, he Tweets REDSKINS SUCK during the Super Bowl  (myfoxdc.com)	(61)
		Greece is now down to three options: a) get farked b) get farked harder or c) get farked like an Athens schoolboy  (time.com)	(105)
		Headline is all like "OMG, Zuckerberg to pay $1 billion tax bill", the article was all "but he's super smart and Facebook is getting half a billion refund from last year and stock options shiat to pay that bill"  (money.cnn.com)	(13)
		The Flip-Flopper in Chief: "I am against Super PACs and the influence of big, anonymous money in elections, unless they're all for me"  (foxnews.com)	(241)
		Gingrich's spokesman edits wikipedia page to remove all mention of Newt's marriages, ethics violations, and add important facts about his balancing the budget, defeating communisism, and killing Osama Bin Laden with his giant penis  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(67)
(Prop8trialtracker)		Will gays be allowed to marry? Can gays legally preside over gay marriage trials? Do proponents of propositions have Federal standing? It's your official 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Prop. 8 thread (Ruling expected 10 am PST)  (prop8trialtracker.com)	(188)
		Of all the controversial decisions at Sunday's sporting event, perhaps the most important one was: Did the wrong puppy get the MVP award?  (newsfeed.time.com)	(48)

		Question: Why have college tuitions gone up? Joe Biden Answer: Government subsidies like the ones President Obama wants to expand  (realclearpolitics.com)	(149)
(Some Guy)		Be on the lookout for the missing Department of Corrections offenders; all 30,000 of them  (610wiod.com)	(24)
		The internet is now the second most common way of beginning a relationship, usually with a supermodel or a rich philanthropist with a yacht  (dailymail.co.uk)	(52)
		Sixteen super PAC-men and their positions on the Forbes 400  (cbsnews.com)	(53)

		25 Most awkward cat sleeping positions. Beware of cuteness overload  (buzzfeed.com)	(100)
		From the "Who didn't see this coming?" files: Insurance companies and lawyers screw 9/11 families out of large portions of their entitlements  (foxnews.com)	(124)
		How low will the chariot swing, will Ireland hear the call, will the bread be heavenly, will Scotland flower, can le bleu allez and can Italy avoid the wooden spoon? It's Six Nations time  (bbc.co.uk)	(30)
		Surprising number of Americans unhappy that North Atlantic oscillation has resulted in mild snow-free winter for most regions. "I am disgusted that golfers are golfing on my cross-country ski course," says climatologist  (msnbc.msn.com)	(102)

(vindy.com)		Alec Baldwin is getting scary good at impressions  (vindy.com)	(37)
		Things you don't want to have written in your obituary: "Killed by hair extensions"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(36)
(Some Shoggoth)		Group of scientists searching the Antarctic for a lake buried for tens of millions of years suddenly stop responding to colleagues, Miskatonic officials  (globalpost.com)	(311)
		Susan G. Komen: Defunding Planned Parenthood was not politically motivated but a new policy against donating to organizations under investigation. Media: What about the $7.5M you gave Penn State? Susan G. Komen: *crickets*  (motherjones.com)	(183)

		Obama admits that religious doctrine guides his decisions  (washingtonpost.com)	(313)
		Lions apparently not enough to keep intruders out of animal refuge, may have to switch to the Cover-2 defense  (news.yahoo.com)	(17)
		Remember back in 2009 after the economy shiat the bed and the experts said Americans had learned how to be frugal again? Well, we're back to buying expensive lattes and renewing magazine subscriptions  (mnn.com)	(104)
(Some Guy)		Danish animation school decides to place every popular 80's cartoon opening in a blender, resulting in a fine paste known as Space Stallions  (awesome-robo.com)	(29)
		Eight wild proposals to relocate endangered species to locations that aren't my plate  (wired.com)	(11)

		How did your team do on Transfer Deadline Day? Can Arsenal beat a strong Bolton side at home? Will the Magpies stomp the hapless Rovers? These discussions and more in this bumped EPL thread  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(194)
		Minecraft developer learns the hard way that when you crowd-source your translations, you deal with people who annoy you  (joystiq.com)	(44)
		If you've stayed at Las Vegas's Luxor hotel recently, congratulations, you've won a case of Legionnaire's Disease  (upi.com)	(42)
		Classic TV locations get turned into moody pieces of art. Something wicked is coming for Moe's Tavern  (shortlist.com)	(8)

		John Edwards, facing jail time for federal campaign finance violations, spends $164,000 out of campaign account between October and December  (politico.com)	(29)
		I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly squealed with pleasure, and then squealed some more  (thesun.co.uk)	(27)
(Some Guy)		Man beats ex unconscious, sticks around to discuss repairing their relationship  (thecabin.net)	(99)
		Did you take advantage of the $8,000 first-time homebuyer tax credit? Congratulations, you've lost $16,000 so far... and counting  (usatoday.com)	(135)
		It takes 24 million generations to grow from mouse size to elephant size, according to evolutionary biologists who have never been to WalMart  (wired.com)	(27)
		About that female douchebag who dumped her cancer boyfriend and took the Super Bowl tickets? Yeah about that. Pro tip guys: You have to meet a woman more than once to consider yourself in a relationship  (dailymail.co.uk)	(85)
		Obama passes on taking 18 of the 20 highest questions offered to him by voters via YouTube during recent Google hangout, but does address the pressing issues of dancing, gaming, and getting the late night munchies  (huffingtonpost.com)	(145)

		President Obama admits bombing Pakistan on numerous occasions  (bbc.co.uk)	(70)
		In Phoenix you can get a bacon-wrapped hot dog piled high with beans, mayonnaise, cheese, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, guacamole, salsa and jalapeño peppers. Your move, Chicago  (azcentral.com)	(254)
(CBS-NY)		State Senator wants to ban eating on NYC subway trains. All other bodily functions still encouraged  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(107)
		Freddie Mac, a company owned by taxpayers that's supposed to make it easier and more affordable to get a home, has bet billions of dollars that homeowners will not be able to refinance their homes  (npr.org)	(89)
		Reminder: When using a government computer network, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy regarding any communications  (washingtonpost.com)	(103)
(Some Guy)		Another Club Med closes, narrowing the list of vacation destinations for balding, hairy-backed men hoping to get invited to a swinger party as they wander about the beach sucking down pina coladas while in the full throes of a mid-life crisis  (couriermail.com.au)	(42)
		Supermarket IDs woman buying pack of spoons, because spoons can be used to shoot heroin. With helpful instructions on how to prepare heroin with a spoon  (dailymail.co.uk)	(68)
		Photographer finds the equations hiding in her x number of pictures where x = 3(4+y) * 2(6 - y) and y = elevendy  (io9.com)	(28)

		Christian leader condemns new Star Wars MMO because it allows gay relationships -- forgetting, of course, that gamers don't have sexual relationships of any kind, gay or straight  (rawstory.com)	(414)
		Yet another example that Canada is cool: Dwarf-tossing event to take place, despite objections from busybodies and naysayers. You submitted this with a shorter headline  (foxnews.com)	(52)
		In this era of civil unrest, divisive politics, and polarizing opinions, it's nice to know firemen will still rescue a cat from a tree  (palmbeachpost.com)	(24)
		Researchers observe how a new virus evolves and how diseases can quickly gain dangerous mutations. Interesting tag rapidly mutates into Scary tag  (upi.com)	(27)

		From the "well, this explains a lot" files: Political contributions from financial sector increased 700% since 1990  (boingboing.net)	(26)
		NASCAR and Wal-Mart finally get together. It's as if millions of rednecks cried out in ecstasy  (sports.yahoo.com)	(45)
		Europeans' too honest perceptions of other Europeans. Isn't this how WWI and WWII started?  (guardian.co.uk)	(57)
		Researchers analyzed DNA remains of 12 thoroughbred stallions born between 1764 and 1930, 330 elite performing modern Thoroughbreds, 40 donkeys and two zebras. And of course Henry the Horse danced the waltz  (myfoxdc.com)	(26)
		Haiti = Fail: 520,000 people remain in squalid camps, many more returned to wrecked homes rather than endure the camps' inhuman conditions, blamed for driving up violence, rape and pedophilia  (dailymail.co.uk)	(118)

		Iran:"Even though your sanctions are having no effect on us at all we'd still like to talk about ending the sanctions  (bbc.co.uk)	(56)
		Tensions rise between England and Argentina over territorial disputes of the Falkland Islands. England remains firm on their control of the islands for strategic sheep purposes  (cnn.com)	(152)
(Some Guy)		Millions of homes in Florida and this guy had to pick a police officer's to break into. Hilarity ensues. (With "Ow,ow,ow" mugshot goodness)  (news4jax.com)	(21)
		How are you doing on your New Year's resolutions?  (fark.com)	(127)

(Some Guy)		You know who is taking your jobs? Prisoners. Here's a list of US Corporations using prisoners to turn a profit  (avoiceformen.com)	(85)
		"Those (corporations) who donate funds also control the politicians, and the politicians (become) more accountable to their sponsors than to their constituents." Wait until you see what country they're talking about  (cnn.com)	(43)
		26 life-sized versions of popular board games. Bonus: The pieces are really hard to lose  (mentalfloss.com)	(49)
		From the maker of "Corporations are people" meet "Well, the banks aren't bad people. They're just overwhelmed right now." Bank of America twirls it's Snidely Whiplash mustache as he nods in agreement  (foxnews.com)	(60)
		Three new questions raised by Mitt Romney's tax returns. Most notable question? "How many wives do you have?"  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(63)
		And now, a handy guide as to how residents and guests of the cities hosting the 2012 conventions will have their freedoms permanently trampled upon. But before you can view this, I'm going to need you to remove your shoes, citizen   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(13)
		Some guy correctly predicted a year ago what Kyle Williams would do in the NFC Championship Game  (examiner.com)	(35)
		Three ways that conservative Christianity promotes abortions  (alternet.org)	(197)
		Chad Ochocinco does not respond to Twitter follower for two years. Finally responds to fan with a trip to the AFC Championship Game, complete with plane tickets, hotel room, and baptism  (sports.yahoo.com)	(43)

		Scientists grow weary of trying to cure cancer, take time off to create magnetic soap  (labspaces.net)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Iran responds to EU sanctions by announcing the execution of a Canadian  (nakedsecurity.sophos.com)	(82)
		Cut $50 million from Kentucky's education budget, or cut $43 million for theme park based on literal interpretation of Noah's Ark...decisions, decisions. Bonus: Governor complains about not having enough for education  (forbes.com)	(490)
		Newt Gingrich will skip future debates if the crowd can't cheer him on as he attacks the media instead of answering the questions he is asked  (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)	(133)
		Psst...Ahmed, Look out the window, is the carrier gone? You sure? okay. *clears throat* You western Imperialist dogs had better drop your sanctions against Iran if you want to keep using the Straits of Hormuz  (cbsnews.com)	(126)
		15 Questions The Mainstream Media Would Ask Barack Obama If He Were A Republican  (townhall.com)	(159)
		Kristin Cavallari admits her pregnancy was an accident. Just like most of Cutler's successful completions  (tmz.com)	(59)
		Complete list of the nominations for the 84th Academy Awards nominations. Lowlight: No Michael Fassbender. Lower note: Sarah Palin got a nomination. Seriously  (hitfix.com)	(271)

(Some Guy)		Band camp a bore? Try Hellboy summer camp were you'll get training in paranormal investigations, zombie attack survival, meet the Hellboy artists and much more  (wweek.com)	(12)
		MPAA is hiring after old employees failed to fulfill their obligations  (theregister.co.uk)	(327)
		Biggest solar storm since 2005 underway, expected to peak Tuesday. Possible effects include disruptions of satellite communication, electrical transmission and GPS navigation. The Sun is here  (washingtonpost.com)	(111)
(Some Guy)		Why hasn't the media been covering this more? This is the first I'm hearing of this; you'd think there'd at least be some questions being asked  (hiddencodes.com)	(162)
		Martina Navratilova questions Caroline Wozniacki's status as the No. 1 women's tennis player, criticizing ranking system. Navratilova then defiantly insisted she could lick Wozniacki anywhere, anytime  (bloomberg.com)	(25)

		The Dong is only inflating 17%. Hey Vietnam, they have medications for that now  (businessweek.com)	(41)
(nfl.com)		Chad Ocho Cinco won't play in AFC Championship game. This isn't a repeat from last year, or 2010, 2009, 2008, or pretty much every year that he has been in the league  (nfl.com)	(35)
		Can the Patriots defeat the Ravens to win their first AFC championship in 4 years? Will the 49ers beat the Giants and cap off an amazing comeback season? It's the NFL Conference Championships thread, games at 3 PM on CBS, 6:30 PM on Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(5698)
		To commemorate the Giants playing in the NFC Championship game, the Empire state building was supposed to be lit blue. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can probably guess what happened  (nj.com)	(77)

After months of public-relations blunders, Netflix runs the closing credits for its CMO  (businessweek.com)

(44)

		Storm of controversy after a proposed law would outlaw meteorologists from making unauthorized weather predictions  (mnn.com)	(76)
		In this age of discontent, do billionaires really need to meet at an exotic location to sip on the blood of innocents and tell stories about their wild orgies and coke sessions? Of course they do  (cnbc.com)	(23)
		Until the media stops obsessing over the infidelities of the GOP candidates and starts doing its job, Barack Obama's chances of a second term continue to scare the living daylights out of those who understand its implications  (americanthinker.com)	(200)
		We here at Al-Qaeda are thrilled to recognize Aswan Alam for all his hard work and dedication and promote him to Senior Operations Organizer, and...hey does anybody else hear a high-pitched whistling sound?  (news.yahoo.com)	(79)
		If you're going to teabag an unconscious LSU fan after your team just won the National Championship, don't record it and put it online. Teabagging, while hilarious, is what other less-funny people like to call "sexual assault"  (espn.go.com)	(133)
		MPAA's Chris Dodd threatens to cut off Hollywood's campaign contributions if Obama does not change his position on SOPA  (foxnews.com)	(479)
		Samuel L. Jackson has had it with these money-grubbing superPACs messing with our Monday to Friday elections  (gothamist.com)	(18)
(WYCB)		Door to door magazine salesman forces woman to either do drugs or buy forty subscriptions to Vibe  (wcyb.com)	(34)

		Update on donations and a heartfelt thank you to the Fark community. DIT  (fark.com)	(168)
		Mitt Romney would be outraged that his high taxes were paying for the cushy government pensions of three other Republican presidential candidates (if he paid high taxes, that is). The only one to opt out? RON PAUL  (businessweek.com)	(55)
		Pagan mom: "You can't hand out Bibles in school." School: "They're donations. We'd do the same for any donated holy book." Pagan mom: "Fine, here's some copies of my spellbook." School: *crickets*  (foxnews.com)	(431)

(IKEA.com)		Assembly instructions for every single piece of junk IKEA makes, you can almost smell the frustration from here (just like the people contemplating how this went green)  (ikea.com)	(56)
		ABC News discovers millions of Romney's dollars in Cayman Islands accounts tied to a P.O. box there  (abcnews.go.com)	(395)
		American Idol season 11 begins now. Lets talk about all the horrible auditions  (fark.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		NY and SF mayors bet on NFC championship game. If the Giants win, a cable car gets repainted in Giants colors. If the 49ers win, 49th Street will become 49ers Street  (abclocal.go.com)	(74)
		Mitt Romney is a kind and generous soul who has been giving millions of dollars per year to one particular charity. And that "charity" is a certain church known for its magic underwear, golden tablets, and talking rocks  (news.yahoo.com)	(164)
		My 10 year HS reunion is this year; I don't want to go. Didi you go to any of your HS reunions? Why or why not? It is even necessary to have reunions now that Facebook let's you keep in touch with everyone?  (fark.com)	(263)
		"Large, litigious copyright holders such as the MPAA and the RIAA will issue floods of copyright violation accusations to everyone from Google to Fark." This is why we have to protest, people (2nd paragraph from bottom)   (blogs.scientificamerican.com)	(1)
		What do you mean, MPAA and RIAA represented companies profited by distributing filesharing applications like Kazaa and Limewire, while simultaneously suing those companies for enabling infringement? Say it ain't so  (youtube.com)	(29)
		Today I realized that I've been pretty much an asshole my entire life, and I am ready to change. Any suggestions?  (fark.com)	(393)
(KATU)		Unusual winter storm dumps snow on Oregon Zoo. Come for the confused cheetahs; stay for the snowman being mauled by lions. Warning: slideshow  (katu.com)	(53)
		"Smoking object" thrown at White House during protest while Obamas were mere blocks away. It was an OWS protest, though, so let's not make any fast judgments or assumptions. Poor little scamp probably just wants to be loved  (cnn.com)	(57)
(newson6q)		Welcome to Sam's Club where you can buy gallon jugs of your favorite salad dressing, ridiculous amounts of toilet paper, $35,000 rings, huge televisions...wait what?  (newson6.com)	(43)

		This is why you don't ride dirt bikes in dusty conditions (language is NSFW)  (youtube.com)	(29)
		Bad news: it's the end of the world. Good news: great surfing conditions  (shortlist.com)	(10)
		Your town might be lonely if everyone gets abuzz when Stephen King mentions it in a novel and you don't care that he misspelled it anyway  (telegram.com)	(64)
(Some Guy)		Obama taking credit for the actions of SEAL Team 6 is like Nixon taking credit for Apollo 11  (hapblog.com)	(393)
		New polls show disapproval of Congress has reached a record high of 84%, although a closer examination of the data reveals that 16% of respondents were, drunk, high, in mental instutions, and/or members of Congress  (news.yahoo.com)	(67)
		Suspicions linger in the death of poet Pablo Neruda/ Some believe he was murdered/ Perhaps by barracuda  (news.yahoo.com)	(24)

		Man arrested for selling Canadian military secrets. I'm not sure either. Locations of all Tim Hortons? How to de-ice a caribou?  (cbc.ca)	(196)
		Will Romney take the lead? Will Santorum blast....Ah fark it. We've run out of questions for these headlines. South Carolina GOP debate. 9pm on Fox News. You know the drill  (washingtonpost.com)	(907)
		Will Jericho troll the audience? Will Kane beat his Libertarian platform into John Cena? Can somebody call Brodus Clay's mama? Why will Perez Hilton be appearing? All this and new Tag Team Champions on WWE Monday Night Raw, 9 PM on USA  (bleacherreport.com)	(1453)
(Some Business Review)		People lie more in electronic communications than face-to-face, according to the article written by an astronaut-police-tiger I trained  (web.hbr.org)	(34)
(Some Guy)		LSU were terrible in the BCS Championship game for a reason. Really? Good. For a second I was worried Bama was the better team  (sportige.com)	(113)
		Twenty top predictions for life 100 years from now - strange... no mention of anyone assuming control  (bbc.co.uk)	(152)
		When she's not studying law or competing in surfing competitions, Mischa Davis likes to strap on a mermaid's tail and hang out beneath the waves. Yes, there is a pic  (stuff.co.nz)	(53)

		Can the Texans defeat the Ravens to play in their first championship game? Will the Giants send the Packers packing? Will anything beat the Saints/49ers game? It's the NFL Divisionals Day 2 thread, games at 1 PM on CBS, 4:30 PM on Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(too many)
		US Coast Guard Cutter Healy and Russian Tanker Renda moor off of Nome, Alaska, ready to deliver the fuel to rescue a desperate town. Perhaps with this gesture, in the future, the two nations may become friends  (abcnews.go.com)	(198)
		If corporations are people, doesn't that make Mitt Romney a serial killer?  (buzzfeed.com)	(98)

		Can Tebow's pony friendship magic take the Broncos past the Patriots? Will the Saints prove that the 49ers aren't yet a championship-caliber team? It's The NFL Divisionals Day 1 thread, games at 4:30 PM on Fox and 8 PM on CBS  (scores.espn.go.com)	(3073)
		When one ponders the career options available to retired NFL running backs, "Shakespearean Actor" is often left off the list. Unless one is Eddie George..."Unlikely" doesn't even begin to cover this  (npr.org)	(53)

Chinese applications to U.S. colleges up 23%. Desperate American students quickly work on their ability to hit a 30 foot jump shot  (behindthewall.msnbc.msn.com)

(43)

		Labor Department offers $20 million in grants for organizations to help former prisoners find work so they can get their lives back in order. Surprisingly even Fox News doesn't have a problem with this  (foxnews.com)	(77)
		Say there, Mr. Law-Abiding Citizen, having trouble finding work? Can't even get a crappy job in a call center? Maybe it's because companies are using inmates to fill positions at $0.50/hour  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(270)
		IBM succeeds in creating a single bit of storage using only eight atoms, a technical breakthrough with stunning porn-retention implications  (wired.com)	(30)
(Grist)		Good idea: Congressional staffers putting together an office pool for donations to the Red Cross and emergency services during a wildfire. Bad idea: Congressional staffers putting together an office pool betting on how much land will burn  (grist.org)	(50)
		Old and busted: Constitutional "money as speech" will make Republicans unbeatable. New Hotness: Political donations from dueling billionaires will keep Obama right where he is  (politico.com)	(63)
		2000 John McCain steps out of time machine to call Citizens United "one of the worst decisions I have ever seen"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(92)
(PoliGu.com)		Answer some questions, find your Republican candidate  (thepoliticalguide.com)	(164)
(Some Guy)		The number of employees who claim they have witnessed improper contributions to campaigns and parties has gone up since 2010. Fark: By 400%  (rollcall.com)	(22)
		"... and with the 23rd pick in this year's NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select anger management specialist Dr. Buddy Rydell"  (bleacherreport.com)	(62)

		Greek rescue needs "tens of billions" more. I'm holding out for a gyro  (news.com.au)	(38)
		Newly digitized color illustrations of the heavens, from Victorian era artist and astronomer Etienne Leopold Trouvelot. Warning: slideshow  (livescience.com)	(6)
		In the history of Nerd fights there are the greats like Star Trek vs. Star Wars. TNG vs TOS. Now a challenger appears: crossword nerds argue over the defintions of hip hop slang terms. That's wack yo  (npr.org)	(23)
		Warren Buffet pledges to match the GOP dollar for dollar in donations to reduce the debt - except for Mitch McConnell, who he'll match 3-1  (msnbc.msn.com)	(222)
		The Supreme Court takes a break from its busy schedule of stripping consumer protections, empowering corporations, and nullifying property rights to decide that employees can be fired for lacking religion  (foxnews.com)	(259)
		Having solved all the city's problems and determined to crush southern California's last remaining thriving business, LA City Council votes 11-1 to require condoms in porn productions  (nydailynews.com)	(84)
		Head of Russian Space Agency isn't blaming its recent string of accidents and failures on foreign sabotage. He's just asking questions  (csmonitor.com)	(34)

		This BCS National Championship Game won't be remembered so much for Alabama's utter domination of LSU as it will the beginning of radical change in college football. A national playoff is coming, everyone  (aol.sportingnews.com)	(209)
		Have four or more drinks 4 times a month? Congratulations, you're part of the epidemic of American binge drinkers that a new CDC study has just discovered. EVERYBODY *hic* PANIC  (foxnews.com)	(286)
		My only questions is: How did they get the hamster to sit there, waiting, that entire time?  (wimp.com)	(21)
		Steven Tyler schools the Supreme Court on the first amendment, broadcast regulations, and how to do a line of blow off Justice Ginsburg's ass  (foxnews.com)	(49)
		Old and busted: mocking Detroit residents and their socioeconomic problems. The new hotness: Lions cornerback Aaron Berry mocking Detroit residents and their socioeconomic problems  (sports.yahoo.com)	(46)
		Finally, an SEC team loses the BCS Championship Game  (chicagotribune.com)	(351)

		Tonight ESPN brings you the rematch of the century. Will a touchdown be scored? Will the honeybadger get a cooler nickname? Will the Tide win the undisputed national championship by going 1-1? SEC SEC SEC  (espn.go.com)	(1475)
		Rush Limbaugh: Obama presidency is reparations for slavery and Jim Crow  (huffingtonpost.com)	(152)
		Mitt Romney's brand of "job creation" directly resulted in the folding of at least five companies and the loss of thousands of jobs. But that's okay, because Romney's venture capital made hundreds of millions on the deals  (dailykos.com)	(160)
		Photoshop this man with munitions  (cdn1.spiegel.de)	(32)
		Charlie Sheen shared a few revelations over the weekend: he's not crazy anymore, 2011 was just an episode, and he's now just a goddess-less single man hanging with his kids. Oh, and then he shared a Playboy twitpic  (bittenandbound.com)	(26)
		Glee spin-off officially dead. See, Fox doesn't always make bad decisions  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(24)
(Nuke The Fridge)		Two-fisted hero of viral video "Star Wars Nerd vs. Punk" bounces back from Stage 3 brain cancer, seeks tax-deductible donations to run Disney World marathon. Still no cure for Han firing first  (nukethefridge.com)	(93)

Fan contributions quickly exceed the $3.2 million the Jets would have to eat if they fired Schottenheimer  (espn.go.com)

(19)

		Ten nagging questions left open by Disney movies  (io9.com)	(122)
(LOL Fight Card)		Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine Middleweight Championship discussion thread. Preliminary bouts start at 8pm ET on Showtime Extreme  (sbnation.com)	(152)
		Parent upset by questions on her child's math test which included "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in 1 week?"  (ajc.com)	(121)
(Some Guy)		While Americans worry about the relationship status of the Kardashians, Congress is looking at a new way to strip Americans of their citizenship if they get all protest-y  (addictinginfo.org)	(252)
		SCOTUS to begin taking oral arguments on FCC regulations regarding indecency on prime-time television. You said "oral", heh heh  (us.cnn.com)	(38)
		More CO2 means more environmental damage and death-and the only way to address it is to cut carbon emissions. While this makes for a catchy political message, it has the distinct disadvantage of being wrong  (slate.com)	(125)
		Elizabeth Warren, our famed champion against the evil corporations, has taken in 40 million from corporations in the last 7 years  (bostonherald.com)	(219)
		In case if you have missed it, yesterday was the day that President Obama's lawyers went before the Supreme Court to explain how forcing Americans to give money to corporations is somehow constitutional  (reuters.com)	(212)
(Some Guy)		The lack of snow is costing Americans tens of millions of dollars. Could someone figure out the exact right amount of snow so we can coordinate our prayers, please?  (weather.com)	(159)
		NHLPA rejects NHL's realignment plan, firing the first shot in the upcoming CBA negotiations  (tsn.ca)	(307)

		Starlin Castro's attorney says the accusations his client raped anyone are "baseless." Just like a standard Cubs game  (chicagotribune.com)	(8)
		After Texas school shooting where police killed a 15-year-old eighth grader, many questions loom--the first of which is, what is a 15 year old doing in eighth grade?  (news.yahoo.com)	(192)
(Some Hater)		China is all over Pakistan like a drunk prom date. Pakistan ready to take the relationship to "a new level". US sits in corner and glares  (tribune.com.pk)	(33)
(wlbz.com)		A man robbing a Dallas hair salon demands all the cash for himself, all the change for his kids, and the best hair extensions because, "My b**** needs some hair extensions"  (wlbz2.com)	(21)
(Some Guy)		You are truly a stud if after your death hundreds of nurses come forward to tell the world they had sexual relations with you  (couriermail.com.au)	(41)

		The success of the Packers and Patriots in the playoffs will once and for all determine whether or not "defense wins championships" is a myth  (msn.foxsports.com)	(113)
		NBC: "We oppose premeditated NFL celebrations, unless we're the ones premeditating them"  (deadspin.com)	(80)
		Japanese volcano sets record with 996 explosive eruptions in 2011, zero Gaos attacks  (japantimes.co.jp)	(7)
		Congratulations Americans. Chances are you are the 1%...globally  (money.cnn.com)	(174)
		After I finish updating my Facebook page with precise details on my location and actions, and Tweet about what I just did in the bathroom, remind me to tell you about the seven signs that show we're living in the post-privacy era  (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)	(18)
		Twitter reactions of 25 people who just googled "Santorum" for the first time  (buzzfeed.com)	(142)
		Want to see a dash-cam video from a police cruiser? Then we'll sue you for asking, citizen. Bonus: Videos will only be released after statue of limitations expires for police misconduct  (komonews.com)	(243)

		Jim Harbaugh tells Bay Area radio station he's spending "the greater share" of his time preparing to face the Saints. Lions now stompin' mad  (freep.com)	(88)
		Can Liverpool make a run for a Champions League spot? Can Spurs make a run for the title? A smattering of midweek fixtures includes a Man City v Liverpool match up on Tuesday followed by Newcastle v Man United on Wednesday  (dailymail.co.uk)	(166)
		The @MentionMachine ranks candidates based on how often they're tweeted about, so congratulations, President Paul  (salon.com)	(34)
		Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest  (fark.com)	(165)
		Most plausible 2012 conspiracy theory predictions: The US will go to war with Iran, Alex Jones will spontaneously combust from yelling  (trutv.com)	(100)
		Dunkin' Donuts to double locations, waistlines in US  (money.cnn.com)	(106)

(Some Iowan)		After a year and a half, tens of millions spent, and several candidates; so begins the actual voting. (Your Iowa Caucus thread.)  (iowagop.org)	(2109)
		Ten greatest love/hate relationships from science fiction and fantasy. In space, no one hears you wishing you knew how to quit him  (io9.com)	(99)
		Herman Cain's qualifications for Secretary of Defense include serving several dangerous tours in the Omaha province and braving the streets of NYC to take a tour of the Intrepid  (cbsnews.com)	(152)
(Some Guy)		Just starting up a new gym routine as part of your New Year's resolutions? Here is your full list of gym etiquette, and for the love of all that is holy, pay attention to #5  (joethepeacock.blogspot.com)	(755)
		Five Taliban factions merge to form Taliban Voltron. Princess Allura last seen scrambling for a burka  (cnn.com)	(48)
		No one expects Spanish job positions  (finance.yahoo.com)	(9)
		American cities require billions in infrastructure investment to avoid becoming awash in raw sewage and santorum  (washingtonpost.com)	(287)

		Ndamukong Suh celebrates sack of backup Matt Flynn by mocking Aaron Rodgers championship belt move. That's some mighty classy moves there Suh  (sports.yahoo.com)	(157)
		California: "We're proud of our strict emissions laws." Federal Court: "LOL, Commerce Clause"  (latimes.com)	(43)
		Iowa voters don't feel the remaining Republican candidates for President give them enough options. Apparently some chapters of the DSM-IV still don't have candidates representing them  (cnn.com)	(87)
		Quake halts fracking operations. Still no word on Doom 4  (cnn.com)	(29)

		Fifteen religious predictions for 2012 includes classic Apocalypse occurring if President Obama is reelected  (religion.blogs.cnn.com)	(104)
		Koch Industries blows up children, blames government regulations "While business was becoming increasingly regulated, we kept thinking and acting as if we lived in a pure market economy"  (bloomberg.com)	(115)
		It's the jam-packed final week of the regular season, with the Cowboys vs. Giants for the NFC East, The Broncos vs. their neckbearded prodigal son, and the Lions vs. the Packers. It's the NFL Week 17 thread, 1 PM ET on CBS and Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		City that paid millions to replace ugly old concrete sidewalks with granite-trimmed brick will pay millions to replace ugly old granite-trimmed brick sidewalks with concrete  (telegram.com)	(105)
		Cancer found in 20 women who had faulty implants. So, still think these abominations are a good idea, ladies?  (foxnews.com)	(187)
(Some Guy)		Pokemon championship claimed by 26-year-old man who has most likely never touched a woman and will die alone  (triblocal.com)	(110)

Put down that third doughnut and read the five reasons your New Year's resolutions will fail  (cracked.com)

(51)

(Just A Good Ol' Boy)		TV stunt actor born in 1969, famous for a single stunt known to millions, has lived like a couch on a Georgia porch mostly since. After getting almost as much work done as Joan Rivers, he's ready for a comeback. Too bad he's typecast  (barrett-jackson.com)	(287)
		It's bad form to mock India's unhygienic conditions and lack of sanitation among the poor by driving around the slums in a Jaguar fitted with a toilet  (dailymail.co.uk)	(104)
(Some Guy)		In 2022, at the age of 42, Albert Pujols will make $30 million. Wait, wasn't this the plot of Brewster's Millions?   (eye-on-baseball.blogs.cbssports.com)	(19)
		The evolution of TV lawyer commercials, beginning with fake law books and culminating with ex-NFL players doing Kill Bill impressions  (tampabay.com)	(71)
		Federal appeals court rules that corporations are very very special kinds of people that don't get sent to jail like ordinary people do  (businessweek.com)	(118)
		Descriptions of "looking up to Britney Spears" while "having his own nuclear arsenal" do not seem like a very good mix  (rothkopf.foreignpolicy.com)	(14)

		10 financial questions you need to ask yourself before 2012. Among them: WHERE THE HELL IS MY MONEY?  (forbes.com)	(22)
		Three old-timey inventions to keep livestock off train tracks. They won't steer you wrong  (boingboing.net)	(18)
		Big Ten, Pac-12 announce new football scheduling agreement, a move that won't change which SEC teams play in the National Championship game in the slightest  (nytimes.com)	(73)
(Ithaca Journal)		New York fines gas stations for raising prices by a dollar per gallon after a hurricane  (theithacajournal.com)	(30)
		Karl Rove's political predictions for 2012: Republicans will keep the House, take the Senate, Obamacare will be overturned, Sarah Palin will become president, and Obama will be forced to take a job shoveling elephant crap at the circus  (realclearpolitics.com)	(109)
		Denny's worst menu creations. "Denny's best hits" would have been a shorter list  (huffingtonpost.com)	(42)
		What will the revolution in Egyptian government mean for tourism? Well, bans on alcohol, restrictions on revealing swimwear, and beaches segregated by gender, for starters. Enjoy your vacation  (npr.org)	(102)

		U.S. sends the Iranians a little message about closing the strategic Strait of Hormuz if the West imposes sanctions. The U.S. Navy's 5th Fleet  (news.yahoo.com)	(363)
		Sixteen reasons your vote won't count in the Wednesday, November 7, 2012 elections  (trutv.com)	(139)
		Sorry, the bank is closed due to 'communications problems' with the corporate office, and by 'communications problems' we mean we can't hear anything because someone blasted a hole in the wall and cleaned out the safe  (myfoxdc.com)	(88)
		Why we make bad decisions, whether it's supporting Occupy Wall Street, buying those baggy jeans, or listening to Nickelback  (salon.com)	(120)
		This is the story of a woman. A woman who lost her father to a massive heart attack. A woman who learned who her father was...by watching his opening and closing narrations on... The Twilight Zone  (salon.com)	(43)

		Built in a Pizza Hutt, controlled by network of PolyStations, powered by Borio cookies, China unveils new Beidou navigator  (bbc.co.uk)	(23)
		Happy Hanukkah from Afghanistan TFer is here for a few more months, ask me any questions you might have in this thread  (flickr.com)	(189)
		Burglar blames his actions on Marshmallow Vodka. Wait a minute, they have Marshmallow Vodka now? I bet it tastes like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man after a three day bender  (chicagotribune.com)	(80)
(FrumForum)		Former George W. Bush speech writer slams Rand Paul's political ambitions as a 'dynastic cult of personality.'  (frumforum.com)	(22)
		Facebook gives you another way to have awkward, anti-social conversations  (cnn.com)	(43)

Most heinous plan to castrate wild stallions in Nevada is on hold pending federal court review  (msnbc.msn.com)

(82)

		Testy, cantankerous racist Ron Paul storms out of interview after CNN reporter asks entirely reasonable and germane questions. Just kidding, uncut version of interview shows Paul left because the interview was over  (youtube.com)	(597)
		Sleep study claims visions of angels in Bible were merely 'lucid dreams'  (dailymail.co.uk)	(212)
		Stabbing death over loud music leaves many questions. How loud was the music? Was it really worth killing over? Why is the housing project called the "Pork 'n Beans"?  (sun-sentinel.com)	(41)
		"The Slutcracker": Tchaikovsky's timeless Christmas ballet performed by pole dancers (w/video showcasing traditional & non-traditional versions of "The Nutcracker") Some content Not safe for work  (dailymail.co.uk)	(157)

Admit it. You have lots of questions about Christianity, but none more burning than whether or not Jesus had an in-style hairdo  (slate.com)

(108)

		Paul Krugman: "Mitt Romney believes only corporations and the wealthy should have any rights in America and wants to return America to feudalism"  (nytimes.com)	(169)
		Never-seen photographs from a forgotten war. Well ... forgotten, that is, except by the relatives of the millions killed, the hundreds of thousands still alive who served, and the multitudes whose lives were destroyed  (life.com)	(195)
		ESPN gives some suggestions for Christmas gifts, including a Tackle Me Polamalu  (espn.go.com)	(18)
(Aspen Daily News)		Aspen Colorado solves homeless problem by sending the homeless to North Dakota where they'll be cryogenically frozen for future generations  (aspendailynews.com)	(75)
		Knife engraved with illustrations from Dante's Inferno. It's a hell of a keepsake  (boingboing.net)	(11)

		House Majority Leader Eric Cantor invites President Obama to negotiations on Capitol Hill, says "He could bring his dog" because I'm pet friendly. Ummmm, whatever you're into Mr Cantor  (realclearpolitics.com)	(87)
(Louis C.K)		Twelve days ago Louis C.K started selling "Live at the Beacon theater" through his web page for five bucks without any DRM or other restrictions. Money earned so far: $1,000,000. Donated to charity: $280,000  (buy.louisck.net)	(282)
		Sure, North Korea may be a totalitarian communist regime with nuclear ambitions and a population that's starving, but MAN they can dubstep  (youtube.com)	(30)
(Some Guy)		IBM reveals five innovations that will change our lives forever in the near future, or at least until something else gets invented  (www-03.ibm.com)	(37)
		Several massive explosions rip through Not Our Problem Anymore, killing {we are no longer required to care} people  (news.yahoo.com)	(356)
(Some Guy)		Psychic Fails: 2011 Failed and Forgotten Predictions. Guess they didn't see that coming   (therelativelyinterestingblog.blogspot.com)	(123)

(Some Guy)		It's one thing to be the criminal mastermind behind the thefts of all the Baby Jesus' from outdoor nativity scenes in your town. But do you have to put the remaining figures left behind in sexually suggestive positions as well?  (peninsuladailynews.com)	(72)
		Coal plant operators finally run out of briquettes, will have to comply with a nearly 30 year backlog of clean air regulations  (msnbc.msn.com)	(88)
		This holiday season, let's remember the heroes of WWII, who braved freezing conditions in the Battle for Bastogne in 1944. We remember this non-denominational Xmas event with live action, role playing bunnies  (teamcoco.com)	(22)
		Christmas decorations stolen. Suspect reported to have green complexion and a heart two times too small  (clickorlando.com)	(12)
		Profiles in courage: presidential candidates who decry, but do nothing to stop the outside organizations that spend millions of dollars to attack their opponents  (politico.com)	(18)
		Are you hot? Congratulations - you can skip college  (thelocal.de)	(45)
		After years of insomnia-based all nighters, Chinese hackers discover the secret to restful sleep. They break into US Chamber of Commerce policy statement discussions  (foxnews.com)	(11)
		Claus challenged by U.S., other nations for widespread child privacy violations, considered a flight risk  (huffingtonpost.com)	(15)
		Woman who called police to report a home invasion and then said she must have hallucinated it was arrested after police found the source of her hallucinations: heroin  (chicagotribune.com)	(39)

		Philadelphia Daily News sportswriter Bill Conlin "retires" amid allegations that he has completed the creepy old guy child molester trifecta  (philly.com)	(64)
		NPR readers would ratify four amendments to the Constitution, which can be summarized as "they want it to read 'We the people' instead of 'We the corporations'"  (npr.org)	(242)
		2011's worst predictions: Qaddafi says rebels will lose, Karl Rove says Palin will run, Conde Naste calls Libya a tourist hot spot, preacher claims the world will end, and...Thomas Edison says taxis will be made of solid gold?  (foreignpolicy.com)	(29)
		Christopher Hitchens didn't actually take enough brave positions to justify his dickishness   (fullcomment.nationalpost.com)	(127)
		25 athletes with strange obsessions  (bleacherreport.com)	(47)
		Mugshots and descriptions of the top Teacher-Student sex scandals for your amusement. Yes, subby knows it is a slideshow, but it is 36 slides long  (wlsam.com)	(97)

		Yet another reason why people west of the Hudson think New Yorkers are nuts: $36,000 a year for kindergarten. Bonus: admissions director is named Babby  (nytimes.com)	(151)
		There's a lot you don't know about Rick Santorum. So come on, let's wipe away the misconceptions, wade through all the froth, and get right down to the bottom of this man  (npr.org)	(133)
		Noted election prophet Nate Silver has some VERY INTERESTING predictions for the Iowa Caucus  (elections.nytimes.com)	(516)
		T-Mobile to AT&T: "Thanks for the free billions, suckers" AT&T to their execs: "Here are your millions in bonuses, so that you won't leave. ;)"  (businessweek.com)	(31)

		Legislators resigning since they can't fundraise during legislative sessions. Cue the tiny violins  (cbsnews.com)	(58)
		The coolest (if not safest) five science demonstrations you can do at home. Bonus: not a slideshow  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)	(23)

		"Total appropriations - emergency and non-emergency - in 2012 are expected to be no more than $1.181 trillion, about $30 billion less than 2011 and an estimated $94 billion below fiscal 2010 when Democrats controlled Congress"  (politico.com)	(305)
		Ok, how about a .03 percent tax on financial transactions that would (a) only affect the biggest financial institutions, (b) raise billions in needed revenue, and (c) actually work to reduce dangerous financial speculation?  (huffingtonpost.com)	(278)
		Traitor to the sport of hockey says concussions are out of control, fighting and hits to the head must go, and that the current commissioner isn't an idiot. So, now Gary Bettman is writing articles...wait...the author is Ken Dryden?  (grantland.com)	(75)

(Some Grinch)		Leave the Christmas cookies, cakes, candy bars, and soda at home ya little fatties, school is no place for yummy holiday celebrations this year  (boston.cbslocal.com)	(43)
		RIM CEOs take a pay cut to $1. But enough about their stock options  (canoe.ca)	(45)
		Rebecca Black was the most popular Google search in 2011. And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come  (theregister.co.uk)	(84)
		Arsenal, Inter, Bayern, Chelsea, Real, and more. Your Champions League round of 16 draw is here. Oh, and that Europa League thing, too  (dailymail.co.uk)	(25)
		Benton Harbor, Michigan is a model for the future. A future where corporations get millions in tax breaks to build their headquarters and private golf courses on public land and the mayor and city council can be fired by the governor on a whim  (nytimes.com)	(86)

		Well all right, but apart from inventing a white Christmas, sympathetic view of poverty, red tape, modern character comedy dialogue, modern film conventions and meaningful character names, what has Charles Dickens ever done for us?  (bbc.co.uk)	(121)
		Eventually, the free market will step in and say "Hey, we don't like dying from tainted liquor" and "Hey, we don't like hospitals that burn up because there are insufficient inspections". Don't fret, marketeers  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(91)
		Top 10 ridiculous college football bowl game names of 2011. Allstate BCS "Championship" Bowl somehow nowhere to be found on the list  (rivals.yahoo.com)	(96)
		Try harder, Texas: The number of State executions has dropped to a 35-year low  (usatoday.com)	(39)
		Chinese haxxors are stealing petabytes worth of proprietary data from foreign countries and corporations. In other news, the US just passed legislation to put you in jail for stealing photoshop  (mobile.bloomberg.com)	(56)

(Some Guy)		During November and December of last year over 13,000 people were treated in ERs nationwide due to injuries involving holiday decorations. If there is a "war on Christmas" I'd say Christmas is winning  (emaxhealth.com)	(44)
		If you like drinking Mountain Dew, Squirt, Fanta Orange, Sunkist Pineapple, Gatorade Thirst Quencher, Powerade Strawberry Lemonade or Fresca congratulations: You're drinking flame retardant  (blog.seattlepi.com)	(263)
		The 20 unhappiest people you meet in the comments sections of year end lists, now taking your questions to the right  (npr.org)	(103)
		Five economic predictions for 2012  (thestar.com)	(31)
		Russian navy arrives off the coast of Scotland, possibly with questions over whether Loch Ness Monster is displaying enough enthusiasm for Vladimir Putin's re-election  (news.stv.tv)	(29)

(Some Evader)		US European Command requires traveling speakers to undergo Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape (SERE) training before visiting dangerous, exotic locations like Edinburgh, Scotland  (cnas.org)	(69)
		Target continuing its holiday customer relations makeover by refusing to allow a group of students into to their store to spend their money raised to purchased needed items for abused babies  (consumerist.com)	(240)
		This year's Christmas must-have gift for kids: Spinning Tops. Next thing you know, those little whippersnappers will be pushing steel hoops down the pathway with a stick. Now excuse me while I go get some fresh onions for my belt  (npr.org)	(73)
		New study says cremations are hot, burials are dying  (moneyland.time.com)	(166)
		Can your brain remember the 25,000 streets and 20,000 landmarks of London? Congratulations, you can pass the taxi exam  (mnn.com)	(65)

(Some Guy)		The Global Warming religion is on its deathbed and may never be heard from again as it slides towards the grave due to lack of donations from the faithful  (republicanassemblies.org)	(305)
(Topless Robot)		Ten classic Doctor Who companions who were neither hot nor women  (toplessrobot.com)	(115)
(Some Football Guy)		Three High School Football teams from the same small town bring home 1A, 4A, and 5A State Championships  (thenewsstar.com)	(45)

		Congratulations Tucson, Dickman's Meat remains open for business  (azstarnet.com)	(46)
(Dept. of Agriculture)		Photoshop these arboreal accommodations  (shorpy.com)	(33)
(The State Column)		"Mr. Bevis noted that an unusually hot melting season in 2010 ... led to large portions of the ...an...'s ...ock rising an additional quarter of an inch." Heh heh heh, cool  (thestatecolumn.com)	(24)
		Al Jaffee, the 91 year-old artist who has drawn Mad Magazine's fold-ins for years and done the Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions feature, took stupid questions from a live audience and gave some damn snappy answers (w/video)  (comicsalliance.com)	(42)

		Major European banks have run out of liquid assets and have begun selling their gold reserves to fund daily operations. Now might be a pretty good time to start panicking  (telegraph.co.uk)	(66)
(Topless Robot)		Hanna-Barbera's ten worst creations. Yes, Scrappy Doo is on here  (toplessrobot.com)	(176)
(Some Guy)		Inventors of a new revolutionary substance claim that it can keep things from getting wet. For generations married men knew of this substance, and called it wedding cake  (digg.com)	(57)
		Scientists found that supplementing the cows' feed with the leftover material from wine-making reduced methane emissions by 20%, increased milk production by 5% and raised snobbery levels 100%  (news24.com)	(70)

		Guy wins Ultimate Typing Championship... while apparently high as a kite  (youtube.com)	(52)
		CNN does the hardline investigative reporting that other news organizations refuse to do. Today, they answer "When is a woman more likely to fake it?"  (thechart.blogs.cnn.com)	(57)
		CEO of the company that owns Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and P.J. McPootertoots says Obama's job killing regulations are hampering his ablility to produce food that tastes like the salty discharge of a diseased marine animal  (hotair.com)	(248)
		Alec Baldwin responds to accusations of rudeness, says Americans are sick of filthy planes, barely edible meals, and cuts in service to less-traveled locations; compares stewardess who threw him off plane to Mrs. Ballbricker. Your move, American  (huffingtonpost.com)	(104)
(Manitowoc Herald-Times)		Man's actions described as "disruptive to the peace and good order of the community at large." Was he: a) protesting violently, b) dealing drugs, or c) planking?  (htrnews.com)	(60)
		Lionsgate executive hints that the Saw series will continue for as long as moviegoers are stupid enough to keep shelling out money to see the same damn movie again and again and again and again and again and again  (slashfilm.com)	(29)

		Lindsay Lohan says she was having a secret relationship with Heath Ledger at the time of his death. Not sure if serious  (dailymail.co.uk)	(78)
(Some Guy)		Who goes home, who goes to the Europa League, and who goes on for chance at glory? Chelsea, Porto, and AC Milan are among those in action in today's Champions League thread  (uefa.com)	(147)
		The solar winds are ruining any future opportunity for lunar crop farming  (theregister.co.uk)	(16)
		School bus drivers ordered to remove Christmas decorations, including ribbons, bows, snowflakes, Christmas crackers, snowmen, elves, Santa Claus and angels from their buses. That's stup-- angels? BURN IN HELL OTTO  (cnews.canoe.ca)	(57)
		Contrary to popular belief, atheists do take their families to church. "We thought that these individuals might be less inclined to introduce their children to religious traditions, but we found the exact opposite to be true"  (religion.blogs.cnn.com)	(522)
		What four other scrambling quarterbacks think of Tim Tebow. Opinions range from "I'm probably his biggest fan" to "enjoy the circus while it's in town"  (abcnews.go.com)	(161)

		Senator McCain: Well, instead of those lower income tax breaks, how about tax cuts for corporations? Don't understand why no one's ever thought of that. In addition, we should offer tax cuts for corporations  (thinkprogress.org)	(81)
		Radio stations that switch to All-Christmas format are doubling their ratings. Suck it Thanksgiving, Passover, and Ramadan radio  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(188)
		Hillary Clinton says that Russian elections were rigged, suggests they try using Diebold voting machines next time  (huffingtonpost.com)	(24)
		Instead of scoring the game winning TD, delivering his school its first ever championship, QB flagged for illegal celebration for raising his hand before scoring  (bostonherald.com)	(223)
		Socalist labor unions ruin another business with selfish--oh, they took a 50% wage cut voluntarily to keep their employer afloat? And an extra-long unpaid Christmas break? Those commies  (bbc.co.uk)	(66)
		Jim Schwartz says some Detroit Lions players "may" face punishment for their actions during their game against the Saints, but says he saw nothing warranting suspension. Yes, even the guy who put his hands on a ref  (mlive.com)	(60)

		Congratulations to the first NBA player to come out, unless he was just Twitterjacked  (huffingtonpost.com)	(48)
		Good news the recession is over as demonstrated by a huge jump in global CO2 emissions  (nytimes.com)	(77)
		Eurozone heading for some steep contractions. Come on Eurozone, give me one good push. YOU BASTARD, YOU DID THIS TO ME  (cnbc.com)	(29)
		Let's see: Commit a bunch of stupid penalties? Check. Throw a couple of key interceptions? Yep. Commit dumb mental mistakes not worthy of junior varsity? Of course. Welcome back Detroit Lions  (detnews.com)	(44)
(Some Guy)		Famous album cover locations as seen in Google Street View. Sorry, "Electric Ladyland" didn't make the list  (whudat.de)	(35)
		Can infections trigger OCD and other mental illnesses? I'd tell you, but I have to wash my hands 10 times and make sure all the doors are locked, or my cat will explode  (latimes.com)	(49)
		UK paper Daily MIrror opines that the US will likely hit Iran within two weeks with massive airstrikes. Then again, they also have a story titled "Two drivers still on road after eight drink-drive convictions EACH", so... let's see  (mirror.co.uk)	(64)

		Top 10 predictions for 2012. Step right up, place your bets  (foxnews.com)	(186)
(Some Guy)		Penn Jillette on religion in the 2012 elections. Thought provoking, regardless of what you believe   (lefthemispheres.blogspot.com)	(245)
(Some Guy)		10 year veteran of pizza deliveries petitions Congress for a minimum pay rate of $20 hour. Bonus: He points out no one has a Constitutional right to pizza delivery and no tip? Then you need to buy frozen pizza at the supermarket  (petitiononline.com)	(250)
(Tri-City Herald)		Man auctions off entire company because the tax burden has gotten too great. "I am tired of carrying all the tax load. I renew 13 licenses here every year just so I can spend money in this city"  (tri-cityherald.com)	(152)
		Tires with AIR? How totally old school of you. Are those onions on your belt?  (physorg.com)	(75)

		Maybe next time this dipshiat will bayonet his junk instead of his $$$ flatscreen TV, and spare future generations in the process (profanity)  (youtube.com)	(36)
		Championship weekend is upon us. From Atlanta to Charlotte to Indianapolis, it's a Saturday of college football with enough games to make everyone forget how the BCS has killed the entire sport  (espn.go.com)	(2382)

		Washington Post writes an article about Reddit ... and still mentions FARK (6th paragraph)  (washingtonpost.com)	(0)
		9 nerdy film locations you can visit including Middle Earth, Rick Deckard's apartment, Initech HQ and Yavin 4  (wired.com)	(58)
		Trying to decide where to eat tonight? Check out "A Consumer Guide on the Working Conditions of American Restaurants." Once again, Five Guys beats out In-N-Out, and Olive Garden found yet another way to suck  (boingboing.net)	(238)
(Zap2It)		Jay Cutler on his engagement to Kristin Cavallari: "I'm just kind of along for the ride." Kind of like his relationships with Broncos, Bears  (blog.zap2it.com)	(30)
		"We're seeing increasingly wholesale monitoring of entire populations with no suspicion of wrongdoing - the data is being monitored and stored in the hope that it might one day be useful." It's called the internet  (theregister.co.uk)	(85)
		News: Herman Cain's lawyer goes on Piers Morgan's show to answer questions about Cain's alleged affair. Fark: He refuses to do so and then fights with Morgan (w/ video)  (gawker.com)	(9)
		Cool: Telegraph obit of WWII vet with the usual giant clanking British steel balls. Bonus: "Leading his company in a dawn raid, he surprised the local mayor, who was sharing his bed with several attractive companions"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(32)
		In 1994, Commodore Business Machines went out of business. A man on the last day of operations brought his camera along with him to record the last hours of this once epic company  (video.google.com)	(45)
		In the sickening sports world of child molestation and brute, ego-driven domination, there is one but one man whose actions show us what it means to be a leader. Bless us, oh Tebow, and show us the light  (washingtonpost.com)	(57)

		Need proof that credit unions care about you, unlike banks? For the past month, a credit union has been doing everything from anonymous paying for gas to vet bills as part of a "random acts of kindness" venture  (press-citizen.com)	(170)
		Fire up the Yakkety Sax box, it's Philly at Seattle for your Thursday night viewing pleasure. No questions asked  (scores.espn.go.com)	(824)
(Some Guy)		"I'm sorry, but you are President of the damn United States of America. You have to do what is right for the country and not worry about the political ramifications"  (thefiscaltimes.com)	(133)
		Ohio cracking down on lions, tigers, bears. Oh my  (toledoblade.com)	(13)
		"After careful consideration, I withdraw my statements comparing annexing farmland for power lines to killing millions of Ukrainians"  (canada.com)	(16)
(Red State)		A few questions for Democratics regarding the payroll tax cut  (redstate.com)	(81)
		Top 10 coolest Lego Mindstorms creations  (techeblog.com)	(8)
		Experts wonder if Israel was behind those explosions at Iran's nuclear plants, if water is wet, if the sky is blue and if beer is spilled on Fark's servers every now and then  (nydailynews.com)	(363)
(Some Guy)		Things you don't expect to inherit from your 90-year-old blue-collar father: 1. Billions of dollars. 2. An oil company. 3. A storage unit with his 1,000+ dildo collection (language Not safe for work)  (nzafro.tumblr.com)	(64)

		Bloomberg's delusions of grandeur are taking their toll "I have my own army in the NYPD, which is the seventh biggest army in the world,"  (rawstory.com)	(185)
		Herman Cain's campaign has taken a finanical hit after the allegations. YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING YOU WILL REGRET THIS  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(70)
(Rivals.com)		College Bowl projections don't get past the second game before going all trolly  (collegefootball.rivals.com)	(211)
(Some Guy)		Big Ten Championship game figures if college athletes should get paid to be at a game nobody cares about, so should the fans  (indianapolis.craigslist.org)	(55)
		Peyton Manning shows off his eight-month-old son. Five NFL teams make preparations to go 0-16 in 2032  (dailymail.co.uk)	(40)
(Some Hamburglar Guy)		San Francisco's regulations on the sale of Happy Meals has actually led to an increase in sales  (blogs.sfweekly.com)	(49)
		Charlie Sheen visits the cocaine capital of Colombia, but claims he's only scouting filming locations. Oh sure  (dailymail.co.uk)	(17)
		Scientists receive $6 million to create earthquake early warning system. Suggestions are to make an ultra sensitive seismograph with computerized monitoring, or just get a dog  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(22)

		Google Maps for Android now covers indoor locations, assuming you find the chest with the dungeon map  (lifehacker.com)	(24)
		Marine awarded the CMOH in Aghanistan can't work due to accusations of mental instability by BAE after quitting due to them selling advanced military tech to Pakistan. Way to support the troops BAE  (news.yahoo.com)	(90)
(Lost Lettermen)		Jim Tressel, former National Championship-winning head coach of THE Ohio State University, interviewing for the coaching vacancy at THE University of Akron  (lostlettermen.com)	(72)
		"According to NFL Senior VP of public relations Greg Aiello, the league has no policy concerning players urinating on the sidelines"  (nydailynews.com)	(38)
		Advice columnist suggests that moms use the Twilight movies to talk to their teen daughters about sex. Absent from the suggestions: "Don't get knocked up by someone 90 years older than you are"  (suntimes.com)	(100)
		Thanksgiving is over. So you know what that means - time for douchebag neighborhood associations to start telling people what color Christmas lights they can't hang on their porch  (myfoxdc.com)	(56)
		Cain going with the "I'm sorry I did it, but I did nothing wrong / We were just friends" option play to respond to allegations he had a 13-year affair  (chicagotribune.com)	(107)
		Yesterday's Democratic ads against Mitt Romney may have given us a preview of the 2012 elections   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(41)

		Who would you vote for in today's Egyptian elections, based on the candidates' logos? It's got to be flowery space shuttle man  (shortlist.com)	(54)
		Millions of birds killed annually by power lines, others very angry  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(24)
		Hey Ohio State, looking to hire a washed-up former UF coach for your team? Well congratulations, you just hit the jackpot  (espn.go.com)	(33)

		You're free to fly the American flag in front of your business, as long as it's not one of those distracting digital versions  (tampabay.com)	(46)
		Why Alberta's carbon emissions trading scheme has failed  (nature.com)	(22)
		Hot Australian author encourages infidelity to keep relationships healthy and happy. Many dismiss it as a silly, counterclockwise theory  (news.com.au)	(118)
		Man stabbed at World Deaf Futsal Championship. I SAID, MAN STA.....wait. What the hell is "futsal"?  (thelocal.se)	(35)

(Some tube geek)

London Underground lets the public visit one of its abandoned tube stations  (ianvisits.co.uk)

(29)

		Chinese firm states it will not accept applications from Scorpios or Virgos. An idea this stupid was probably the brainchild of some Leo; those guys are all dicks  (upi.com)	(27)
		Wife of former Chicago Mayor Richard Daley dies, is not expected to miss any elections as a result  (chicagotribune.com)	(34)

Don't slip into a Tryptophan coma just yet, because it's time for the NFL Thanksgiving tripleheader. It's the Lions vs. Packers at 12:30 on Fox, Dolphins vs. Cowboys at 4:15 on CBS, and the 49ers vs. Ravens at 8:15 on NFL Network  (scores.espn.go.com)

(¼)

		Woman thinks her lips are ugly. After 100 injections, she'd be right  (thesun.co.uk)	(92)
		All the Champions League goals, including Real Madrid's three goals to Dinamo Zagreb in 9 minutes  (eitb.com)	(21)
		"Virgin still has international ambitions", wants to cock-tease on five continents  (news.com.au)	(3)

(Middletown Journal)		I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of turkeys suddently gobbled out in terror and were suddenly silenced  (wnep.com)	(4)
(The Real Ric Romero)		"If you're one of the millions scurrying for a seasonal job, now is the time to apply." Tis the season, Ric Romero  (abclocal.go.com)	(25)
		GOP pushed to privatize Medicare during super committee negotiations   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(77)
		Lions-Saints game Dec. 4 moves to Sunday night. Lame ass Colts don't deserve prime time  (news.yahoo.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		Closing in on the round of 16, today's Champions League matches include Lyon v Ajax, Bayern v Villarreal, and Napoli v Manchester City  (uefa.com)	(26)
(Some Jolly Old Elf)		Halloween is barely over, Thanksgiving isn't here yet and stores are putting out Christmas decorations already. Photoshop the results of two holidays being combined into one. LGT example  (thisiskristin.com)	(24)
		In between the romantic bike rides, beef jerky pow wows, cupcake sessions and football parties, the super committee actually made some headway towards a deal  (reuters.com)	(89)

(Some Hot Blonde with Normal Eyes)		What is it with Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants and their inability to maintain long-term relationships?  (digitalspy.com)	(34)
		Stacy Keibler on relationship with George Clooney: "It's love." George Clooney: "It's what, now?"  (hollyscoop.com)	(59)
		The seven best insane Taiwanese news animations of 2011. Drew's hairy ass waves at its omission  (clutch.mtv.com)	(24)
(Gizmag)		Shackleton Energy Company plans to establish first lunar base and gas stations in space. THE FUTURE IS *HERE*  (gizmag.com)	(26)
		For having the red phone to God and all, religious organizations are lobbying the federal government unlike ever before  (politico.com)	(58)
		And that was only one of the many occasions on which I met my death, an experience which I don't hesitate strongly to recommend  (cbc.ca)	(27)
		Love him or hate him, the poster boy for concussions in hockey returns to the game tonight (7pm Eastern, 4pm Pacific)  (tsn.ca)	(171)

Whale fossils found in the desert pose a mystery. The bowl of petunias next to them just raises even more questions  (physorg.com)

(163)

NASCAR Nationwide Series Finale: Ford 300 at 3 PM ET. All Stenhouse Jr. has to do to win the championship is not get caught in wrecks by such skilled drivers as Steven Wallace, Danica Patrick, or Scott Speed. Good luck with that  (nascar.com)

(146)

(WLKY)		Woman accused of killing boyfriend with tire iron said relationship had gone flat  (wlky.com)	(27)
		Republicans will allow tax increases in exchange for cutting medicare, social security, popular deductions, corporate taxes, and top tax rate. No word on who gets taxes raised  (finance.yahoo.com)	(196)
		BCS exploring new options. You still won't like any of them  (espn.go.com)	(136)
		Catholic Church buys glass cathedral for $57M, plans to renovate by casting stones in all directions  (content.usatoday.com)	(123)
		Justin Theroux hates Jennifer Aniston's friendship with Chelsea Handler. This is a sober moment in their relationship... until Chelsea Handler breathes on them, anyway  (celebitchy.com)	(21)

		Pusey has a new paper about the physical reality of the quantum wavefunction that could collapse the foundations of quantum theory  (nature.com)	(49)
		This college professor says the First Amendment guarantees your right to A. Free speech. B. Be on the news. C. Convince everyone your opinions are correct. If you answered B and C, you can probably guess which college he works for  (huffingtonpost.com)	(99)
		When you're drunk, do you: A) Lower your social inhibitions, B) Pass out, or C) Go to the zoo, strip to the waist, and climb into the Spider Monkey enclosure?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(45)
		It's not "your official" anything, and there will be no stupid questions asked. It's just the New York Jets vs. the Denver Broncos, 8:20 PM ET on NFL Network  (sports.yahoo.com)	(lots)
(Some Guy)		Semi full of beer flips on the interstate. Eight fire trucks, twenty-six police cruisers, four ambulances, two local construction crews, five local newstations, and several hundred commuters show up to help clean up the crash  (kcci.com)	(93)
		This is your brain. This is your brain having an orgasm. Any questions?  (huffingtonpost.com)	(40)
		Meet the world's youngest CEO. He's already lobbying Congress for regulations to put your kid's lemonade stand out of business  (ca.news.yahoo.com)	(19)
		Man with Ph.D in computer science develops web tool and database for Jeopardy questions. Goes on show, wins five straight days, making $195,000  (gawker.com)	(52)
		In the name of fighting social and economic inequality, high unemployment, greed, corruption, and undue influence of corporations - Occupy DC is going to F up your commute to work this morning  (myfoxdc.com)	(214)

When speaking about holes, smaller is better  (bbc.co.uk)

(11)

		If the boyfriend you're picking up from jail immediately attacks and strangles you, it may be a sign your relationship has some unresolved issues  (local10.com)	(80)
		Greyhound of the skies mocked after failing to live up to expectations  (bloomberg.com)	(20)
		Some of astronomy's most popular misconceptions explained. Also, Uranus isn't pronounced like you think it is  (mnn.com)	(111)
		Lions and tigers' fearsome roars are due to their unique vocal cords. Oh my  (sciencedaily.com)	(5)
		Pink wants more kids, has a name with self-contained instructions on where to stick it in order to achieve that goal  (showbizspy.com)	(32)

(CBS Sports)		Big Ten championship trophy won't carry name of ... uh ... that guy   (brett-mcmurphy.blogs.cbssports.com)	(149)
		The percentage of people who lose their jobs due to "Job killing regulations" last year: 0.3%  (washingtonpost.com)	(148)
		Reuters writes about the future of online advertising and mentions Fark as a site that generates "a huge amount of loyalty online"  (blogs.reuters.com)	(3)
		ESPN's Week 10 QBR Leaderboard. Two completions is good enough for 6th, ahead of Matt Ryan, Matt Hasselbeck, Ben Roethlisberger, and Alex Smith  (espn.go.com)	(214)

		Just ahead of their IPO, Zynga CEO suddenly decides some of his employees are "under-performing" and have a choice of giving back their stock options or being fired. No word on whether they get an in-game tree as a consolation prize  (news.yahoo.com)	(90)
(Some Hockey Guy)		Bruins surprise parents of National Guardsman on hand for ceremonial face-off by bringing son home from Afghanistan. Who left this bowl of dusty onions here?  (lastangryfan.com)	(70)
(Frontline)		Female reporter risks her life to report on conditions inside the uprising in Syria. The revolution will be televised  (pbs.org)	(28)
		CBS sends out email warning people that Michele Bachmann won't get any questions because she no longer stands a chance at securing the GOP nomination. Unfortunately, they sent the email to her staff as well  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(91)

(Some Guy)

And now the latest from the Florida of the North: man walks into strangers' house, starts putting up Christmas decorations  (whiotv.com)

(33)

		Flora terrarium "Biome" controls climate conditions, water level, and nutrients for plants via iPhone application. Subby hopes there will be some kind of day care center version soon  (io9.com)	(4)
		Telemarketing agency raises millions for breast cancer prevention, $10 million of which mysteriously disappears. Telemarketers ask to be taken off of investigator's call list  (komonews.com)	(51)
		Penn state attorney who reviewed the 1998 allegations against Jerry Sandusky also happened to represent the Second Mile at the time. Huh. That was convenient  (deadspin.com)	(624)
		Maintaining their steady focus on job creation, every Republican Senator votes to eliminate net neutrality regulations  (chicagotribune.com)	(282)
		Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Onions  (en.wikipedia.org)	(19)

		Apparently corporations ARE people, as Coca-Cola now seems to have a seat on the board of the National Park Foundation  (news.yahoo.com)	(50)
		Everclear-fueled Tennessee woman cuts up her first cousin with scissors because she doesn't want to be his "booty call," but rather wants a real relationship with him. Cue up the banjo  (thesmokinggun.com)	(114)
(Some Guy)		Man who submitted online petition to stop Nickelback from playing at a Detroit Lions game is shocked when it received 50,177 signatures in a matter of days  (annarbor.com)	(104)
		Korea grounds all jets, delays stock market opening, orders police escorts, encourages extra prayer sessions. Yes... it's annual college exam time  (af.reuters.com)	(14)
		Whoopsie-doodle. What the diddly? How could those gosh-darned admins keep redlighting my submissions. God bless them. Stupid sexy Flanders  (chicagotribune.com)	(90)

		Intrepid reporter storms the camp at Occupy Eureka, asking the tough questions worthy of her Pulitzer. "WHO POOPED AND PEED??"  (gawker.com)	(115)
(Some Studman69)		Herman Cain PAC offers calm support for their candidate against sex harassment allegations. Just kidding, they call the accuser an "ugly b*tch" and claim she works for Taxbama  (hermancainpac.com)	(359)
		Brooklyn District Attorney wants to use DNA samples to prosecute spitters. Clearly, he has great expectorations  (nypost.com)	(73)
(ahn)		Strong tornados strike Oklahoma less than two days after earthquake. Residents relieved to once again see normal weather conditions  (allheadlinenews.com)	(66)
		David Arquette concludes that his marriage is just like his WCW Heavyweight Championship: brief, disturbing, and a running joke  (showbizspy.com)	(20)
		The downside of big-screen comic book adaptations. Wait a minute... you're saying there's a DOWNSIDE to Batman & Robin?  (denofgeek.com)	(44)

		I hear even Bill Bennett thinks that Herman Cain needs to do a better job of explaining the numerous allegations against him  (cnn.com)	(111)
		Welsh law would keep Welsh from welshing on organ donations. Welsh  (bbc.co.uk)	(56)
(TheXLog.com)		Of all people bashing Tony Romo's relationship status, it shouldn't be Tiki Barber  (thexlog.com)	(11)
(Some Guy)		UFO researchers downgrade Colombian UFO from "contact with extraterrestrial civilizations" to "really cool kite"  (colombiareports.com)	(10)
(Some Guy)		A) GOP: Federal spending doesn't create jobs. B) GOP: Cutting defense will cost millions of jobs. C) Shut up  (cecilwhig.com)	(149)

		Chicago Board of Trade tries to help Occupy Chicago protesters: They dump a bunch of McDonalds applications on them  (mediaite.com)	(659)
		Cain denies sexual harassment allegations from fourth woman, even if it does make him look positively Clintonian  (suntimes.com)	(235)
(Some Guy)		New bill would end NFL blackouts. In related news, TV stations will now be forced to suffer through broadcasting Dolphins games  (wjrr.com)	(63)

		Michelle Bachmann vows to create "millions of jobs" for Americans. No word on how she plans to make her fantasyland a reality  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(318)
		"Tower Heist" steals second place at the weekend box office, but ends up $10 million short of expectations ... and loses to a talking cat  (movies.yahoo.com)	(72)
(The Advocate)		Not news: Corporations biatching about burdensome government regulations. Fark: Like the Defense of Marriage Act  (advocate.com)	(89)
		Herman Cain states that he refuses to answer any more sexual harassment questions. Well that should do it  (huffingtonpost.com)	(234)
(asahi.com)		Japan's sovereign debt balloons past 1 quadrillion yen barrier, thanks to currency market interventions and disaster reconstruction. Time to go back to the rice standard  (ajw.asahi.com)	(30)
		"If [LSU-Alabama] was The Game of the Century, then I want my 100 years back...these two teams deserve a BCS championship rematch like Kim Kardashian deserves to keep her wedding gifts"  (espn.go.com)	(267)

		Thanks to BoA, credit unions added more new accounts in October than in all of 2010  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(81)
		The National Restaurant Association hasn't realized that NRA belongs to another, even more gun-happy fringe group. This and other abbreviations that are shared by two very different groups  (slate.com)	(74)

		The AV Club's Reasonable Discussions #19: "Bono Still Needs a Cockpunching"  (avclub.com)	(27)
		Here's proof that politicians who say corporations pay the highest amount of taxes are, in fact, lying  (salon.com)	(256)
		City of Calgary tolerates Communists violating bylaws, but has no problem prosecuting heroic Christians for same infractions  (life.nationalpost.com)	(99)
		Enjoy all the Champions League goals including the second quickest goal ever, scored after just 12 seconds  (eitb.com)	(8)
		What do ancient penis decorations say about us? So glad you asked  (io9.com)	(71)
		Four Georgia senior citizens arrested for plotting to attack Americans with a bio-weapon, wearing unlicensed onions on their belts   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(120)
		Rush Limbaugh on the allegations against Herman Cain: "Sexual Harassment is a political tool of the left to get rid of people or to score money gains"  (littlegreenfootballs.com)	(240)

		Lions fans have suffered enough. Please sign petition to keep Nickelback out of half-time show. PLEASE  (mlive.com)	(52)
		BOOOOOOOOM: An infographic breakdown of the explosions in Michael Bay's films  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(21)
		The Federal Reserve slashes its forecast for economic growth, raises projections for unemployment, and says Europe's debt crisis will probably wreck the U.S. economy. In uplifting economic news: *crickets*  (reuters.com)	(37)
(Some Guy)		"OnStar, how may I help you?" "I've just been in an accident and police are chasing me." "Sir, I've been giving the police directions so they can find you. You should pull over"  (timesunion.com)	(100)
		Attorney says GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain violated the confidentiality deal, allowing accuser to speak publicly about the allegations. This could be bad for..... Cain  (thehill.com)	(144)
(Some Guy)		Inter, Manchester City, Ajax, and Real Madrid are among the sides in action in today's Champions League matches  (uefa.com)	(33)

		While millions of Americans are out of work, Congress is furiously busy passing a law that shoves Christianity into your face everywhere you look  (crooksandliars.com)	(198)
		Michael Moore tells Occupy that top 1% need to hand out millions, but won't answer question about him giving out a million of his own $50 million  (youtube.com)	(560)
(Some Guy)		Eric Cantor (R-Va in public, D-Va in private communications)  (politicususa.com)	(115)
(Some Guy)		AC Milan, Barca, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Porto are among the teams in action in today's Champions League thread  (uefa.com)	(31)
(Some Guy)		Sheriff: Time for Citizens to Arm Themselves, People are tired of doing the right thing and criminals getting away with their actions  (wyff4.com)	(272)
		Kristen Stewart still has a lot to "discover" about herself. Specifically, how facial expressions work  (contactmusic.com)	(64)

(Tom's Guide)		"I invented the PDA 34 years ago. Thus, I'm suing every large telecommunications company out there"  (tomsguide.com)	(14)
		Herman Cain admits sexual harassment allegations, saying, "Yep, I totally did that. Brother, you should have seen her. Legs all the way up to here. I mean... DAMN." Just kidding, he calls them "baseless"   (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)	(224)
(Some Guy)		What's this? A Detroit Lions game flexed to a better spot in week 10? Surely, the end times are upon us  (tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com)	(33)
		George Clooney's ex had an unfortunate father-daughter relationship  (abcnews.go.com)	(26)
		Donald Trump, who based his entire bid for the presidency on allegation that Obama wasn't born in Hawaii, calls Cain allegations 'very unfair'  (gop12.thehill.com)	(178)
		Cain's smoking ad campaign manager, who was previously busted for multiple campaign violations in Wisconsin, may have committed campaign violations in Wisconsin  (jsonline.com)	(151)
(NineMSN)		Taylor Swift calls in lawyers over photo of topless lookalike being published. Lawyers insist that they can prove it's not Swift because the topless model is capable of different facial expressions  (news.ninemsn.com.au)	(51)

		Lions LB Stephen Tulloch sacks Tim Tebow, then Tebows over Tebow's prone body  (deadspin.com)	(161)
		Scientists say that big cats like lions and tigers could be extinct in 20 years. Sports fans in Detroit rush to stock up on team memorabilia  (usatoday.com)	(35)
		Chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts and toffee onions: The British version of Halloween "treats"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(67)
(Some Snowman)		LIke Halloween and Christmas decorations, Snowmageddon coming earlier every year  (accuweather.com)	(55)
		Will the Broncos' Christian be sacrificed to the Lions? Can the Colts manage to lose by less than 60 points? Who will the Cowboys pitch it to with Tashard Choice gone? It's the NFL Week 8 thread (games begin at 1 PM ET on Fox and CBS)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(3838)
		Pumpkinhead Squirrel auditions to be FARK's official Halloween mascot  (dailymail.co.uk)	(20)
		Paul McCartney to pay for restoration of Motown piano played by Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Temptations. Tells museum he just couldn't let it be  (detnews.com)	(22)
		NY "foreclosure mill" tones down its Halloween celebrations in light of the terrible economy. Just kidding - they throw a party and dress up as homeless people and mock foreclosed homeowners  (nytimes.com)	(430)
		Days after four players were killed by an alleged drunk driver, high school football team earns spot in championship game with 40-0 win  (theglobeandmail.com)	(10)

(Some Banker)

Some people are happy if they find a few coins in their couch cushions, Germany just found 55 billion Euro hidden by an accounting error  (moneycontrol.com)

(30)

		Are you 28, speak Mandarin, right-handed, own a cell phone, don't have a car or bank account, Christian, and make less than $12K/year? Congratulations. You're typical  (npr.org)	(77)
		Thirteen manipulative sex institutions and how people are controlled within. Subby's domestic partnership strangely absent from the list  (trutv.com)	(86)
		"Plants feel the force." Great, all we need is a palm tree with a lightsaber  (sciencedaily.com)	(33)
		Millions today mourn the terrible loss of yet another beautiful Porsche driven by a "Jackass" star  (nypost.com)	(71)
(Some Guy)		Here's a couple of suggestions when the cops come looking for your child porn: Don't have it scrolling on your computer, and don't answer the door naked  (wlwt.com)	(35)
		Libtard blasts GOP presidential candidates: "The American people want solutions. You're providing comedy." And by libtard, I mean neoconservative stalwart John Podhoretz  (nypost.com)	(83)
		Stripper? Escort? Subway Sandwich Artist? Match the mugshots with reported professions in the Friday Photo Fun Match Game  (thesmokinggun.com)	(21)

		RIP, Army Ranger Sgt. Kristoffer Domeij. 14 deployments, 5,000 missions, and he was part of the team that rescued Jessica Lynch  (seattlepi.com)	(140)
		Stock market up over 2% this morning on news that we're really truly out of the recession. Well, corporations are. You, not so much  (finance.yahoo.com)	(58)
(Radio Netherlands Worldwide)		Bad idea: Granting amnesty for dictatorship's human rights violations, like Uruguay's parliament did in 1986. Good idea: Un-granting previously granted amnesty, like Uruguay's parliament did Tuesday  (rnw.nl)	(18)
(Some Guy)		Will you shed your label conservative or liberal and replace it with Constitutionalist? Will you pledge your allegiance to the dual federalism of the Constitution, all the time, every time, every vote...no exceptions?  (forgottenmen.com)	(144)
(SNY)		Listening to concerns that their losing is due in part to their deep outfield demensions, the Mets respond by changing their outfield walls to blue. World Champions. 2012. Book it. Done  (metsblog.com)	(27)
		His team's opportunity to defend their world championship will most likely be squandered, but that's not taking away from Mark Cuban's ability to go to karaoke and sing "Purple Rain" (video)  (deadspin.com)	(15)

		Eric Cantor communciations director hasn't figured out the "secret Twitter to follow sexy women" trick yet  (mediabistro.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)		Among the revelations in the Steve Jobs bio, he told Rupert Murdoch that Fox News is the most evil thing in America  (9to5mac.com)	(158)
(Some Guy)		Collisions with deer on the decline in Illinois. Numbers of hungry rednecks on the rise  (centralillinoisnewscenter.com)	(53)
(MDC.mo.gov)		The Missouri Department of Conservation would like to warn hunters and other nature enthusiasts about various outdoor dangers this season, including snakes, mountain lions, zombies and bears. Wait, what?  (mdc.mo.gov)	(55)

(Some Rooney)		Andy Rooney hospitalized following complications from surgery. Why do we have complications from surgery but never simplifications from surgery? You would think that surgery would make one's health a simpler matter, but this is not the case  (kktv.com)	(51)
		Conservatives figuring out that Mitt Romney's only policy position is in opposition to taking policy positions on tough issues  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(146)
		"So if corporations are people too, why do they sometimes have to be such schmucks?"  (latimes.com)	(203)
		Coolest picture of Saturn's space stations you'll see all day  (io9.com)	(11)
(Some Guy)		Occupy Wall Street has amassed nearly a half million dollars in donations, putting them in the top 1% of Occupy movements  (businessinsider.com)	(68)
(Some Guy)		Big Bank protest planned?|✓| Gather thousands of followers? |✓| Issue explicit instructions to remove all your money and be friendly? |✓| Check calendar | |  (wjrr.com)	(184)

		Libyans have listened to the carefully voiced concerns of the world's bleeding hearts, have deliberately weighed the ramifications of their actions, and have an answer: We don't give a flying fark how Muammar Gaddafi died  (time.com)	(212)
		When delivering cocaine after a few shots of rum, you probably shouldn't ask a cop for directions  (eagletribune.com)	(18)
		CBS somehow manages a trade that lets them air the BCS Championship Game in prime time  (usatoday.com)	(73)
		Rand Paul: My actions have enriched this legislation. So there  (kentucky.com)	(56)

Congress extends assistance to the beleaguered wealthy of America, again. This time, it's for the mortgages of their mansions  (theatlantic.com)

(80)

		And here comes the GOP presidential candidates' opinions on Obama's Iraq withdrawal announcement   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(334)
		Romney: "Withdrawal from Iraq is a naked political calculation, and trust me, I have experience with naked political calculations"   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(167)
		GOP candidate blames his recent gaffe on departing communications director, Ludacris   (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(67)
		Good news, everybody: Herman Cain has finished the last bits of 999. And no worries, the poor won't have to pay more taxes as long as they live in opportunity zones and give up minimum wage and unions  (foxnews.com)	(353)
		Chris Brown scores five Soul Train Award nominations, beats the competition  (starpulse.com)	(12)
		Madison Square Garden shows off the first round of their renovations just in time for the start of the Knicks season. One little problem  (nypost.com)	(11)
(Some Guy)		CopTip: After pulling over women for driving infractions, telling them you can "work something out", and fondling them in a 7-11 bathroom, don't keep the panties. In your locker. At the police station  (610wiod.com)	(87)
		DNA Clearinghouse receives giant novelty check for $6.5 million, 14 years of unwanted magazine subscriptions  (physorg.com)	(4)
		Leftist Apple fanboys' heads asplode as Steve Jobs is revealed as having advised Obama he was headed for a one-term presidency unless he stopped shiatting on business and busted the teachers' unions  (huffingtonpost.com)	(277)
		Cain: "It's not the government's role to tell people what decisions to make." Interviewer: "Even about abortion?" Cain: "Exactly. Aww crap, I forgot I was a GOP candidate"  (wonkette.com)	(222)

		GOP before Qaddafi's death: ZOMG, 0bama is sinking billions into this illegal war. GOP after Qaddafi's death: the French are the real heroes here, America was barely involved   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(255)
		Court ruling throws 2012 elections into chaos. More than they already were, apparently  (news.cincinnati.com)	(23)
		GOP presidential candidate: the six largest financial institutions are bigger than they were before the crisis. There is no evidence that they add sufficient value to offset the systemic risk they pose  (economix.blogs.nytimes.com)	(47)

		Air Force: We're no longer investigating UFOs. Reporter: Then why do Air Force personnel still have instructions on how to deal with them? Air Force: If you could just keep your eyes on this standard issue neuralyzer  (huffingtonpost.com)	(135)
(Pizza pizza)		Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia rules against Chicago Deep-Dish Pizza, insisting it should be called "tomato pie," or "cheese pie," or just anything but "pizza." Dissenting opinions to the right  (chicagoist.com)	(301)
		TONIGHT, the October Classic begins as "Back-to-Back" AL Champions, the Texas Rangers, take on the NL Champion St. Louis Cardinals. THIS is YOUR Official FARK Thread for Game 1 of the 2011 World Series. (8pm EST/7pm CST on FOX)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(580)
		AC Milan v. BATE, Chelsea v. Genk, Olympiakos v. Dortmund, Barcelona v. Viktoria Plzen, Marseille v. Arsenal, and some other games. It's your special midweek Champions League thread  (soccernet.espn.go.com)	(23)
		Knight profit rises after some basic modifications, convertible top, sassy black character, and that farking truck with a ramp  (marketwatch.com)	(7)
		Obama endorses changes to the Sarbanes-Oxley Act to once again allow companies to pilfer employee pensions and rape shareholders of their investments to pad the balance sheet. Change is good?  (theglobeandmail.com)	(63)
		"Some of us have consistently opposed these trillion-dollar handouts and redistributions of wealth for years and held politicians in BOTH parties accountable" and it wasn't the Occupy Wall Street movement  (michellemalkin.com)	(203)
(Some Guy)		A hockey fan's guide to the World Series. "World Series: The Rangers have a legitimate chance to win the championship. NHL: Not so much"  (downgoesbrown.com)	(86)

(WTVN)		Man dead as lions, cheetahs, wolves, camels, and bears escape exotic farm in Ohio. EVERYBODY PANIC  (610wtvn.com)	(257)
		Dear US Govt: sorry we defrauded you out of billions in mortgage insurance, can we have another bailout please? Signed, Bank of America  (finance.yahoo.com)	(74)
		10 single episodes that embody their entire TV series. Fahrbot suggestions to the right  (io9.com)	(220)
		Advice columnist won't give advice on getting married, getting divorced, having children, getting abortions, adopting, or consensual cheating, because those are "too personal." Advice columnist  (washingtonpost.com)	(47)
		Man City v Villarreal, Lille v Inter, Napoli v Bayern, Real v Lyon, Marseille v Arsenal and more. Your Champions League matchday 3 is here  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(24)
(Some Guy)		If you lost a couple of boulders on I-91 the other day. The VT State police has them and you can pick them up. Also, they have a few questions  (wcax.com)	(40)
		Mother tries to get daughter into prestigious school by: A) teacher recommendations B) video resume C) spreading sex disease lies about rival applicant  (stuff.co.nz)	(31)

(Some Guy)		Culinary Adventures - The Pickle Conundrum. It's like an incident, but with more questions  (bloggernews.net)	(53)
		Strip-search demanded as tile goes missing at World Scrabble Championships. 'G', I sure hope there's no hard feelings  (shortlist.com)	(66)
(Some Guy)		Obama, the biggest recipient of Wall Street campaign donations, is now "fighting for the interests of the 99%"  (businessinsider.com)	(406)

		Lions suffer first loss of the season. Subby has been submitting this link every week as a force of habit  (sports.espn.go.com)	(101)
		Hippie with Ph.D. figures out how that if you make $240 worth of modifications to the power chord that comes with the Nissan Leaf, you can save yourself from having to buy the $6,000 240-volt fast charge station. Tag is for Nissan  (nytimes.com)	(149)
(Some Guy)		Indycar finale discussion: Power and Franchitti to decide the championship, Danica runs her last race, TK has a Lotus on the pole, Carpenter looks to repeat his upset, and our Indy 500 winner actually gets to race. 3PM ET on ABC  (indycar.com)	(623)
		Among top sources of donations from Wall Street, Romney has raised far more than Obama. In other news water is wet and Kate Beckinsale is hot  (nytimes.com)	(77)
		Will the Redskins put Michael Vick down again? Can the Carolina Newtons win another game? Will the Lions vs. the 49ers be the best game of the day? It's the NFL Week 6 thread (games begin at 1 PM ET on Fox and CBS)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(3405)
		The actions of a douchebag: he steals from a church. The photo of a douchebag: he cheeses in his mug shot  (wave3.com)	(121)

		Facing bankruptcy, Friendly's told not to dump employee's pensions. In other news, Friendly's employees have pensions  (boston.com)	(61)
		Speed camera company may have violated Fair Debt Collections Act, according to $6 million class action suit  (knoxnews.com)	(64)
(Some Illegal Alien)		World famous Very Large Array (VLA) radio telescope just got upgraded, needs a new name. Submissions to the left and right. VE  (nrao.edu)	(161)
		Couple films live sex sessions to pay the bills, support their 20-month-old daughter. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this (w/pics)  (abcnews.go.com)	(145)

		That professor who wouldn't let the stutterer ask questions? Ab ab ab bou bou bout tha-tha-tha-tha-that  (nytimes.com)	(93)
		The score so far - hippies 2, corporations: 0  (nytimes.com)	(567)
		House Republicans have held 159 votes against environmental protections in just 133 days in session, including 83 targeting the EPA. "This is, without doubt, the most anti-environmental Congress in history"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(184)
		Fark's Weird News Quiz, demonstrating the inverse relationship between how well you score on it and how much work you actually accomplished this week  (fark.com)	(36)

		John McCain calls for the elimination of regulations that are costing America billions of jobs. Billions. Don't laugh, This man was almost President  (washingtonpost.com)	(206)
		House Republicans love pregnant women and they love babies, so that is why they are trying to pass a bill that would allow hospitals to refuse abortions to pregnant women, even if the woman miscarried and will die without one  (littlegreenfootballs.com)	(255)
		'Dr. Doom' economist famous for gloomy predictions is selling his failing business. Fark: Projected 80% revenue growth into next year  (cnbc.com)	(10)
		November 5th is Bank Transfer Day, where everyone will take their money out of big banks and put them in credit unions and small local banks. Sure, this will mean they'll become the new big banks, but WE'LL SHOW THEM  (consumerist.com)	(271)

		Float like a butterfly, sting like a lack of home inspections  (tmz.com)	(12)
		While Craigslist is still suitable for hiring sexual slaves, promoting auditions for movies that don't exist and selling human skulls, it's still not a great way to buy pot  (shortlist.com)	(50)
		Warren Buffet:"The rich want to pay more taxes". Reality: Not so much, and with conditions  (politics.salon.com)	(171)
		Mortgages for none. Miserable financial conditions for all  (marketwatch.com)	(19)
		Optical illusions just keep getting more extreme. Except for those years on acid, of course (Not safe for work-ish)  (io9.com)	(59)