Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Houston area church prefers its "stations of the cross" themed art show entries to depict that part of the Passion where Christ was given Starbucks, and a foot massage  (chron.com)	(58)

		Mother Nature spins the earthquake wheel, and it comes up....wait for it....Guantanamo, Cuba. Congratulations Cuba, have fun with that 5.6 magnitude shaker  (news.yahoo.com)	(58)
		For one instant, physicists may have broken a law of nature, divided by zero  (physorg.com)	(70)
(6 Nations Rugby)		Ireland vs Scotland, Wales vs Italy and Cocks vs Poms: It's your Six Nations Rugby discussion  (rbs6nations.com)	(33)
		Brittany Murphy's husband and mother were very concerned with her prescription drug use. So concerned, they assumed aliases and used multiple pharmacies to assist her in getting over 100 different prescriptions filled  (tmz.com)	(34)

		Congratulations, GlaxoSmithKline just bought your family business for $2.9 billion, what are you going to do now? "I'm going to donate it to atheism"  (newsobserver.com)	(277)
(Some Guy)		Before you call authorities to say somebody is stranded in a river and needs help, ask yourself: "Could I be suffering hallucinations from the drugs I just took?"  (kirotv.com)	(31)
(Some Guy)		Sean Hannity's "Freedom Concerts" raise millions for troops' families... oh, wait only 4% of money raised has actually made it to the families  (debbieschlussel.com)	(200)
(Bournemouth Echo)		Bizarre supermarket home delivery substitutions no. 3,750: "Sorry, we have no children's bubble bath in stock. Here's some sexual lubricant instead"  (bournemouthecho.co.uk)	(104)
(Guy with a flickering fog of color)		Millions of migrating monarch butterflies have gotten lost somewhere over Mexico  (vancouversun.com)	(82)
		Following the rash of "March Madness costs America billions" articles comes the rash of "'March Madness costs America billions articles are bunk' articles"  (slate.com)	(5)

(WWL)		The EPA wants to know if long-term fracking using massive hot injections could be harmful to your health  (wwl.com)	(38)
		Jesse James issues public apology to Sandra Bullock and her family; says the "vast majority" of allegations against him are "untrue and unfounded"  (starpulse.com)	(95)
		Last year, not only was Jake Delhomme less accurate than JaMarcus Russell, he threw twice as many interceptions. And Cleveland just signed him for $7 million  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(61)
		Scientists create a quantum state in the largest object yet - by a factor of billions  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(64)
		Fox News Channel "interviewer" asks Obama rhetorical questions, occasionally allows him to speak  (msnbc.msn.com)	(504)

		How to build your own fusion reactor for around $1000. Just try to remember the very flammable gas and voltages high enough to instantly kill you  (discovermagazine.com)	(46)
		Twelve well-conditioned athletes pull dude standing up and doing nothing to his fourth Iditarod championship  (reuters.com)	(28)
(Some American)		9/11 Solved. Any questions?  (911disclosure.blogspot.com)	(594)
		Britney Spears ends romantic relationship with agent Jason Trainwreck... uhh, I mean, Trawick  (contactmusic.com)	(28)
		If you had the New England Patriots as the next team the Detroit Lions would lose to in their annual Thanksgiving Day slaughterfest, step forward and claim your pies  (freep.com)	(31)

		Digital animation studio moving to Ford Field, home of the Detroit Lions. The 3D replays, Na'vi cheerleaders, and these "victory" things subby has heard about will surely be amazing  (freep.com)	(18)
(Some Guy)		The 10 awesomest guitar moments in film. Omissions to the right  (guitarworld.com)	(76)
		Jim Bunning is now blocking nominations in the Senate because of a law passed in Canada. That place up north. The one that's not one of the 50 states  (huffingtonpost.com)	(146)
		Prada denies allegations it fired old, fat and ugly store managers from its flashy Japanese outlets for being old, fat, and ugly  (news.yahoo.com)	(13)
(Some Artist)		Jack Kirby's estate is suing Marvel Comics. Again. This time, for rights to all his creations, including Nick Fury and the Fantastic Four  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(57)
(Some Adult Fan)		This must be the year for great, unexpected reunions; Teenage Fanclub is now joining in on the fun  (spinner.com)	(17)
		Kings of Leon are "stoked" about their huge summer tour, which means radio stations will play USE SOMEBODY over and over until August  (rollingstone.com)	(34)
		The government's use of legal exemptions to keep records secret rose during President Barack Obama's first year in office. Most.secretive.administration.ever  (abcnews.go.com)	(118)
(The Cairns Post)		A: Cow's tongue, rump steaks, lamb chops, limes and onions. Q: What's that in your pants sir?  (cairns.com.au)	(23)

		Democrats don't want to just PERMIT abortions as a matter of indivual liberty. They want to ENCOURAGE abortions as a matter of social policy -- that is, to save money  (online.wsj.com)	(394)
(Some Guy)		Judge is displeased with the conditions of prisoners' holding cells so he: a) holds the jailer in contempt of court b) issues an injunction c) scrubs the cells and cleans the toilets himself  (thenational.com.pg)	(58)
		The China-US relationship is no doubt symbiotic, but a clash would not be "mutual assured destruction", as often claimed. Washington would win  (telegraph.co.uk)	(75)
(Above the Law)		So not only is the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas a teabagger, one of the Court's decisions last month allowed her PAC to flood itself with corporate donor cash  (abovethelaw.com)	(85)
(Some Guy)		Can you build a fusion reactor for $20 million?  (hplusmagazine.com)	(56)
		Questions arise in Prius case. Among them is: "WHY THE HELL ISN'T MY CAR STOPPING?"  (freep.com)	(75)
		In an effort to regain the loss of billions of dollars a year from changes to overdraft rules, banks expected to charge more for everything else  (foxbusiness.com)	(55)

		Mother Nature spins the earthquake wheel, and it comes up....wait for it....northern Japan, congratulations Japan, have fun with that 6.6 magnitude shaker  (news.yahoo.com)	(153)
		WVU makes history, wins their 1st Big East Championship  (nbcsports.msnbc.com)	(36)
		Today is France vs. Italy in Six Nations rugby. Come for Mathieu Bastareaud's standing ovation from the bench, stay to see Italy get crushed to dust  (guardian.co.uk)	(14)
		After 10 years, billions of dollars, and absolutely zero progress, Obama is proposing rules that will make it easier for schools to make it look like their minorities are doing better when in fact they are not  (washingtonpost.com)	(267)

		New York City cabbies cheat customers out of millions every year. By the way, the sun comes up in the morning, and air is free  (hosted.ap.org)	(66)
		Corporations are now filing libel suits against researchers who publish works critical of their products in scientific journals  (business.timesonline.co.uk)	(58)
		Citi's response to customers move to independent financial institutions? Rebrand themselves as your "community" bank. Mr. Potter nods approvingly  (huffingtonpost.com)	(43)

		Beheaded Vikings found in mass grave unearthed at Olympics construction site in London. Well, damn, I know they choked away the NFC Championship Game, but that's kinda harsh  (cnn.com)	(59)
		Brian Greene on string theory: "Our universe may be one of many--a single bubble in a huge bubble bath of other universes.... Maybe these different bubbles all have different shapes for their extra dimensions"  (discovermagazine.com)	(79)
		House Democrats tell Stupak that they can't pass his amendment because "more children will be born, and therefore it will cost us millions more." Asinine tag stands in for non-existent Double Facepalm tag  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(166)
		Democratic House candidates are more likely to mention their positions on circumcision, cat declawing, and Kirk vs. Picard than their views on health care reform  (thehill.com)	(38)
		Confessions of a redhead Las Vegas escort. (A 6'3", 247 pound, 47-year-old gay bear redhead Las Vegas escort.)  (salon.com)	(169)
		By definition, Populism prohibits otherwise reasonable people from seeing that the difficult decisions are the ones that rescue crashing economies. Luckily, Tim Geithner is no populist  (newyorker.com)	(84)
(Some Librarians)		In a novel and long overdue attempt to preserve the Florida tag for future generations, Florida moves funding for public libraries from non-fiction to fiction section of the state budget  (lisnews.org)	(74)

If only men felt guilt and emotions the same way women do, "John Edwards wouldn't be a baby daddy and maybe Abu Ghraib would just be a little-known prison in Iraq." Here comes the science  (msnbc.msn.com)

(65)

		LearJet-sized raptors, giant sea scorpions, and other giant animals we can thank Darwin are extinct  (cracked.com)	(59)
		Next time your school's booster club is having a sale of donated items, be sure to go through the stuff and remove the porn, pirated DVDs and Aryan Nation publications  (upi.com)	(79)
		HHS Sec. Kathleen Sebelius addressing the health insurance companies summit : "Maybe you should use these millions you're spending on attack ads fighting reform on lowering people's premiums instead?"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(195)
		Another benefit of Cuba's socialized healthcare: Free sex change operations  (abcnews.go.com)	(80)
		Supreme Court to decide whether citizens have a right to "informational privacy" when applying for government positions, potentially opening the door to genetic screening and applicant's porn habits  (wired.com)	(69)
		Heroic blogger-patriot urges readers not to answer questions of race on the US Census, and to instead write in "American" and then demand that the MailCrat who delivered the census form recite the Pledge of Allegiance with you  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(315)
(Some Loki)		Marvel reveals the "plot" of its upcoming Thor movie. The quotations are used to indicate sarcasm, as these few sentences make it sound like a romantic dramedy  (digitalspy.com)	(35)
		Kristin Chenoweth auditions for Mars Attacks 2  (tmz.com)	(58)

		Chile's earthquakevines collapsed vines, broke apart casks, spilled millions of liters, will bankrupt smaller winemakers. Goldman Sachs seen putting away earthquake machine  (bloomberg.com)	(24)
(Some Guy)		Good idea: Asking helpful policewoman for directions. Bad idea: While driving a stolen car  (officer.com)	(15)
		Government pension funds whose risky investments lost billions in the recession are trying to catch up with even riskier investments, such as buying stock in Confederated Slaveholders Inc  (nytimes.com)	(15)
		Arsenal, Fiorentina and Real Madrid all have home games to overturn a one goal deficit, and Beckham returns to Old Trafford. Here is your latest Champions League discussion thread  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(159)
(SLO Tribune)		Sea lions being killed by wildlife officials for eating too many salmon. Fat couples at Red Lobster currently exempt  (sanluisobispo.com)	(26)

		Now that the accusations against ACORN have proven to be nothing more than clever video editing by a felon-to-be, I bet journalists and politicians are glad that they didn't rush to judgment on the case and do something stupid  (news.yahoo.com)	(197)
		Oklahoma conservatives are a little apprehensive about giving the government power over their relationships  (news.yahoo.com)	(155)

(Some Guy)		California's solution to encourage business growth during a recession: Impose strict environmental regulations, driving business out of the state  (sbsun.com)	(54)
		Oh, and some elections occured in some Middle East country today  (cnn.com)	(136)
		Two overpricing companies are fighting to keep millions from seeing the Oscars  (news.yahoo.com)	(80)
(Daily Home)		Congratulations are in order for Talladega College men's basketball team for winning their second straight USCAA Championship. Fark: The TC women's team won the USCAA national championship too  (dailyhome.com)	(23)
(AnandTech)		Now introducing THX certified televisions. Just don't forget the solid gold HDMI cables  (anandtech.com)	(87)

		Not news: Person spends $44 million on nine waterfront mansions. Fark: Person is 11-years-old  (washingtonpost.com)	(36)
		Over 90% of contractors have failed to take EPA-mandated course in how to make home renovations more expensive by doing unnecessary lead mitigation  (boston.com)	(25)
		Brit tries to answer readers' burning questions about American TV cliches: do cops really eat doughnuts, how come women eat ice cream from the carton, what are those metal thingies in school hallways, and so on  (guardian.co.uk)	(150)
		Japanese professor invents completely painfree water-soluble micro-needles for medical injections  (upi.com)	(70)

		Obama's secret plan to steal the 2012 elections  (wnd.com)	(470)
		As with the whole "Vaccinations cause Autism" thing, people jump on controversial papers when they are published, but pay no attention when they are retracted. There goes the science  (scientificamerican.com)	(53)
		If you're a woman who fancies the bad boy type, perhaps corrections officer isn't an optimal line of business (with surprisingly hittable pic)  (statesman.com)	(98)
		Two unlikely partners. A middle-aged white man, a young black man. Together, alone, they face the unwelcome stares of a city that just can't accept their relationship. Coming this fall to a stadium near you  (sports.yahoo.com)	(13)
		Nancy Pelosi says there's no link between nice, fat, juicy earmarks immediately following nice, fat, juicy campaign contributions. Next up: Debunking the link between sex and pregnancy  (reason.com)	(85)
		Chinese writer suing James Cameron for $155 million over allegations that "Avatar" was ripped off from his story; apparently has no idea what kind of defense team $2.5 billion can buy  (starpulse.com)	(55)
		Actual Headline "New Salmonella Recall Raises Questions About Food Safety", so don't order the salmonella    (aolnews.com)	(38)

		News: Study finds large differences in people's definitions of "had sex". Weird: 23% of old men don't consider intercourse to be "sex"  (labspaces.net)	(118)
		Ladies, just because its now trendy to have a relationship with men 20 years younger doesn't give you the right the shoot him. This holds especially true if you're a lobbyist for an anti-domestic violence organization  (ajc.com)	(49)
		Detroit Lions embarrassed again, as ex-player Tommy Boyd arrested after trying out for Fraser Pedobears  (freep.com)	(14)

		"As I stood there looking like a Roy Orbison impersonator in my specially polarized glasses, I made a mental note to call my wife and apologize for the money we'll be dropping on 3-D televisions in the next few years."  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(96)
		Comcast responds to questions and criticisms about its "unlimited usage" and manages to fark everything up again  (consumerist.com)	(42)
(Some anthropologist)		The new Whole Foods nutrition rating system ignores the entirety of human evolution in favor of political considerations. Unlike Twinkies, which are awesome and will eventually grow wild in couch-shaped bushes    (livnaked.com)	(180)
		Elections are bad for democracy  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(121)
		Robert Pattinson offered to strip naked for a full-frontal photoshoot in Details magazine, "but nobody wanted to see it" so he didn't, disappointing millions of gay men, teenaged girls and women whose marriages died years ago  (starpulse.com)	(107)
		Washington Nationals beat reporter, out of a job after the Times closed its sports section goes to Florida to cover Spring Training anyway. Bonus: his travel budget is covered by donations to his blog  (sports.espn.go.com)	(25)
		To meet the Obama administration's targets for cutting greenhouse gas emissions, Americans may have to experience gas at $7 a gallon. No comment from Al Gore, but he's looking a little nervous after hearing that  (dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com)	(618)

		Comcast's definition of "unlimited usage" does not mean "unlimited usage." There are bandwidth restrictions and whatnot  (consumerist.com)	(52)
		Detroit Lions highly unlikely to complete a trade for Antonio Cromartie because they don't want to give up a 30 year old backup  (sports.yahoo.com)	(26)
(Drew)		Bus drivers Kramden to storm sewers, coriolis effect swirlies, and 12-parsec intermissions: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/21 - 2/27  (fark.com)	(27)
		While atheists have higher IQs in America, that's not because atheists are actually smarter, but that smart people are more likely to reject the status quo in most situations, and Christianity just happens to be dominant in America  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(177)

"For advice on confessing, press one. To confess, press two. To listen to some confessions, press three."  (news.yahoo.com)

(58)

		Terrell Owens leaves the Bills as a hero, praised for his contributions to the team, and his number retired. Nah, I'm kidding, they just told him to GTFO  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(43)
		Defense attorney who worked very hard for Democratic party and made large contributions to Obama campaign is finally rewarded for his efforts by being appointed to US Attorney position. Because he lacks experience, some have a problem with this  (foxnews.com)	(131)

		Obama administration meets with dozens of religious organizations, and one atheist organization. Sean Hannity reacts: "Why is Obama giving special treatment to atheists?"  (mediamatters.org)	(141)
		Not news: Hearing, "Spare change, guv'nor?" Fark: Having it as the Tory election slogan. Extra-farklicious: The Lib Dems pretending they have a chance in the elections  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(12)
		Gatorade ends relationship with Tiger Woods, string of "Is it in you?" jokes  (money.cnn.com)	(53)

SeaWorld says it faces major public relations crisis since its park attractions EAT PEOPLE  (washingtonpost.com)

(337)

		People are now Twittering their abortions? We have officially reached the end of the internet  (abcnews.go.com)	(782)
		Conceding that today's health care summit will be as predictable as kabuki theater, Democrats work on strategy for the real negotiations to follow behind the scenes  (washingtonpost.com)	(186)

		Obama administration's "pay czar" discovers that Wall Street is a different world: "Compensation is a surrogate for worth, for integrity, for value. It's not just about private schools and fast cars and mansions"  (thehill.com)	(69)
		Politicians continue the fight to give unused medications away instead of flushing them. Partly because it's fiscally responsible, but also because it's annoying to have so many relaxed fish who sleep well despite their massive erections  (abcnews.go.com)	(44)
(Pew Pew Pew)		Support for labor unions among Americans, which was as high as 58 percent in 2007, is down to 41 percent. A spokesman for unions is expected to respond after his break    (people-press.org)	(134)
		In the 1800's, the US government put the local indian tribes on a reservation. Today, that reservation sits on billions of barrels of oil. Drill, Kimosabe, drill  (news.yahoo.com)	(63)
		VA Republican who said that disabled children are a punishment from God for prior abortions is upset that people have misconstrued his statements to mean he believes that disabled children are a punishment from God for prior abortions  (washingtonpost.com)	(66)
(Some Guy)		Confessions of an Internet Shock Jock  (exo-blog.blogspot.com)	(22)
		Raiders assistant who got the crap smacked out of him by head coach Tom Cable finally sues, wants millions of dollars or access to the stuff that keeps Al Davis alive forever  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)		Hospital infections kill 48,000 people each year. If only there was some building we could take these sick people to in hopes of them being cured  (mnn.com)	(114)
(NCAA)		The NCAA makes up for all their stupid sanctions by giving us this glorious thing - EVERY NCAA Tournament game from the Sweet 16 on in the past decade. Subby will see you in May  (vault.ncaa.com)	(40)

		Gallup Poll: 4 in 5 Americans have 6-digit salary executive positions and supermodel girlfriends  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com)	(66)
(Miller-McCune)		The Triumph of the Cyborg Composer. Or, how David Cope's computer generated classical music compositions are giving people fits  (miller-mccune.com)	(31)
(Some Guy)		"Hot Air" blog that was purchased by the Christian conglomerate Salem Communications from conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, has suddenly become an advocate for all things ghey  (renewamerica.com)	(99)
		Lead us not into purely hypothetical situations, but deliver us from homework  (abclocal.go.com)	(111)
		Physicist calls on Hollywood to tone down the fanciful science in movies and restrict themselves to just one scientific flaw per film. Also have intermissions every 12 parsecs so people can use the restroom    (news.bbc.co.uk)	(88)
		Nothing says "It's over" like a relationship status change on Facebook  (news.yahoo.com)	(90)
		Discussion thread for Champions League, Premier League, FA Cup, how incredibly boring Manchester City have become  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(72)
		Stifler talks about playing Stifler again: "As much as I want to do a part like Christoph Waltz in 'Inglourious Basterds,' I did 'American Pie' three times and then versions of that in ten other movies"  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(81)
(Some Guy)		Old and busted: Mass extinctions caused by asteroids. New global warminess: Mass extinctions caused by global warming  (dailygalaxy.com)	(144)

(Some Guy)		Virginia Republican says disabled children are God's punishment for women having abortions  (newsleader.com)	(228)
		You can stay in your favorite reality star's house for only $4000/night. Snooki punches and Situations not included, spray on tans extra  (cnn.com)	(20)
		David Cross stars in "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret", a TV show so funny, you just know it won't be shown in America. Here's the first episode, in all its not-safe-for-work-language glory  (examiner.com)	(135)
		Madison Square Garden to host a party celebrating a mythical thing that most younger people thought was a myth or a legend: a NY Knicks championship team  (nydailynews.com)	(16)

		Nice try: airport administrator negotiating deal to ease Delta's stranglehold on Atlanta. Trying too hard: administrator leaves spy pen in meeting room to record Delta's conversations  (ajc.com)	(24)
		Calm down, tinfoil-hat-wearing wingnuts: Those blacked-out sections of the government's UFO reports were just the bits where they were calling you tinfoil-hat-wearing wingnuts  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(75)
(538)		Fact: Looking at the past 30 years, deficits increase under Republican administrations and decrease under Democratic administrations, and only Clinton ran a surplus. Conclusion: both sides are bad. Wait, what?  (fivethirtyeight.com)	(155)
		Now that DC Comics has promoted Geoff Johns, Dan DiDio, and for some inexplicable reason Jim Lee, herre are five burning questions about the company's new direction  (io9.com)	(64)
		Chances are the hair weaves and extensions you've paid for at expensive salons came from temples in India where poor women sacrificed it to their gods to give thanks. Fashion industry claims it's a win/win  (abc.net.au)	(63)

		After dominating college football and winning the BCS Championship, the University of Alabama is not content and moves to the next challenge: the 2010 USARPS Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship in Acapulco, Mexico. Duke sucks  (blog.al.com)	(23)
		Running badly behind schedule and under international pressure to honor treaty obligations and complete the destruction of the US chemical weapons arsenal; the Army wants to pull out its universal plan B: "Just blow 'em up"  (news.yahoo.com)	(105)
		Despite proclamations from Randian economists of rampant "Zimbabwe-style hyper-inflation", inflation remains in check. Maybe this Bernanke guy knows what the hell he's doing?  (miamiherald.com)	(89)

(Some Guy)		Florida bill wants to make abortions illegal, punishable by life in prison  (jaxobserver.com)	(153)
		Tiger Woods blames his indiscretions on his huge amount of fame and wealth. Poor guy  (content.usatoday.com)	(155)
		Scientists may be able to make cows and other food animals feel less pain, so they can be raised and slaughtered with fewer ethical objections. Yum, pain-free hamburgers  (nytimes.com)	(65)
		Despite chalking fatal luge accident up to "driver error" and making alterations to the course, it seems that the best bobsled and luge athletes in the world are still filled with "driver error" this week  (usatoday.com)	(49)
		Women caned for illicit sex said they regretted their actions and welcomed the punishment, one adding, "And then the oral sex, yes?"  (news.com.au)	(128)
		Man poses as a priest in online conversations with a police officer posing as a 13 year old girl. No, they do not cancel each other out, but guess which one was charged with... Grooming?  (interact.stltoday.com)	(78)

(Some Little 15)		After fourteen long years, Alan Wilder joined Depeche Mode onstage for a benefit concert. And yes, despite your opinions, this is newsworthy  (nme.com)	(29)
		New method of preserving vaccines in a sugar film could save millions. Think of it as candied Malaria, only without the side effect of death  (content.usatoday.com)	(25)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 250: "Farktography Classic: Reflections 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(208)

		Virginia's GOP governor makes bold step in civil rights history by rolling back protections for gay state employees  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(216)
		Mark McGwire will not be answering any questions this spring because he's not here to talk about the past  (chicagobreakingsports.com)	(30)
(NORML)		CBS: Black children are an endangered species ad? Greenlight. Anti-abortion SuperBowl ad? Greenlight. Ad saying legalizing pot will bring in billions in taxes? Nope... too contentious an issue  (blog.norml.org)	(236)
		Seven director collaborations that will never, in a million years happen, but if they did, would be amazing. Hell, even the Michael Bay one sounds good  (cinematical.com)	(19)
(Business Insider)		New York Times print and digital divisions apparently in a fierce turf war over iPad distribution of the paper. Fark: Print division wants to charge $30/month for an iPad subscription  (businessinsider.com)	(52)
		Ex-Lions defensive coach doesn't remember naked escapade in Wendy's drive-through, which is plausible since he clearly never remembered anything about coaching defense with the Lions  (detnews.com)	(12)

		As the Cardinals are about to open camp, there are many questions for Mark McGwire, including "How much of this stuff should I take?"  (sports.espn.go.com)	(24)
		30 Dumb Inventions: From a curved-barrel machine gun to a strapless, backless, wireless, support-less bra... even a baby cage so you can suspend your infant in a wire cage outside of your window to save room in your apartment  (life.com)	(138)
		The hottest pictures of volcanic eruptions you'll see all day  (dailymail.co.uk)	(25)
		Oscar winners, be advised: the Academy will be limiting you to 45 seconds of tears, pointless rambling, climbing over the audience, one-handed pushups, and declarations of love for your siblings. Make it count  (guardian.co.uk)	(49)
		Champions League first knockout stage discussion thread  (soccernet.espn.go.com)	(56)
		King Tut found to have suffered from cleft palate, club foot, and died from complications from broken leg exacerbated by malaria, failed pyramid scheme    (news.yahoo.com)	(26)
		"The entire problem with Bayh and ["centrists"] like him is that the "middle" has nothing to do with staking out policy positions. It has to do with staking out political positions."  (ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com)	(64)
		The 2010 census hasn't started yet, and the federal government has already wasted millions of dollars in a breathtaking display of incompetence. But don't worry, they'll get health care right  (breitbart.com)	(380)
(PopMatters)		Peter Gabriel's first album in eight years is a collection of cover versions that spotlights the former Genesis leader's talents as a singer. No, really  (popmatters.com)	(39)
		I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse, except when it's deadly  (3news.co.nz)	(69)
(Castanet)		Mayor refuses to participate in deliberations on his own pay, and when council gives him a raise of almost $2,800, writes an equivalent check back to the town  (castanet.net)	(35)

(KOTV)		Oral university eliminating 50 positions due to smaller staff  (newson6.com)	(56)
		White House revamps communications strategy, decides that the problem is that Obama hasn't gotten out there and visibly delivered his message enough  (washingtonpost.com)	(271)
(Some Steve)		Apple does its part: Al-Qaeda operatives, dodging drone attacks while listening to Britney Spears songs downloaded with iTunes, are in violation of the terms and conditions  (concurringopinions.com)	(13)
		The eight most dysfunctional superhero relationships. Are there any superhero relationships that aren't dysfunctional?  (io9.com)	(73)
		Georgia's Office of Student Achievement released its devastating report on suspected test tampering in Georgia schools last week. There is an investigation into these accusations .... by the same schools that were altering test scores  (ajc.com)	(53)
		'Good' cholesterol can cause heart disease, 'bad' cholesterol can be harmless, and eggs -- ah, screw all of this, I'm taking up smoking  (msnbc.msn.com)	(112)
		English Premier League, beloved by sport snobs for determining champion without American-style knockout postseason, plans to award final UEFA Champions League berth to winner of American-style 4-team knockout playoffs  (guardian.co.uk)	(84)

Good news: Lionsgate bumps Nic Cage's latest crapfest from its release schedule. Superbad news: "21 Jump Street: The Movie" with Jonah Hill is on the way  (comingsoon.net)

(26)

		Regulations prohibit Nanny State police from rescuing five year-old girl from icy river  (telegraph.co.uk)	(282)
		Lawmaker vows to impose a cigarette tax after his mother dies of emphysema after nearly 50 years of smoking. Because that's just what this country needs: taxes enacted by kneejerk, emotional, deeply personal motivations  (sltrib.com)	(169)
(The Courier)		Crazy Scotsman is about to finish his bicycle ride from Anchorage to Ushuaia. Google Maps can't even calculate the directions for that  (thecourier.co.uk)	(18)

		Eat healthy all the time? Congratulations, you have an eating disorder  (time.com)	(113)
		In a video that raises more questions than answers, a "woman" chases a rat down the toilet  (fox4kc.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Arnold signs executive order to smash server rooms, drive datacenters before him and hear the lamentations of the IT woman  (govtech.com)	(129)

		Obama is now fifth all-time on list of longest drought of clemency actions to start a Presidency, trailing only the first two and the last two of his predecessors  (reason.com)	(43)
		Obama administration pushes for warrantless cellphone tracking, promises that your chocolate rations will be increased to compensate  (news.cnet.com)	(146)
(Some Guy)		Before the Recession: Credit Counselor, "How may I help you?"; During the Recession: Credit Counselor, "Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed"  (journaltimes.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this telecommunications officer  (spaceghetto.org)	(67)
		YouTube to add parental controls. Too bad YouTube won't add literacy controls to the comment sections  (khou.com)	(28)
		It should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that the gazillions the government spent on Blackwater included such "expenses" as booze and hookers  (washingtonpost.com)	(126)

		Customer breaks her tooth on a Godiva chocolate pretzel, demands reparations. Godiva sends her a complimentary box of chocolates. Hey, at least it was something  (consumerist.com)	(38)
		New study finds that $1 federal tax on cigarette packs would raise billions each year. Complicated methodology involved multiplying number of packs sold by $1  (reuters.com)	(232)
(Some Bad Guitarist)		Air Force responds to Jack White's allegations, saying that despite low recruitment, it would never stoop so low as using The White Stripes for anything  (nme.com)	(23)
		Federal Reserve concerned that economic growth maybe be coming back; making preparations to combat this worrisome development. Yes, really  (nytimes.com)	(36)
		Baltimore, D.C. officials decide it's a good idea to halt snow removal operations during snowstorm  (foxnews.com)	(227)
(MLive.com)		Recently reinstated WR Donte Stallworth will get a look from the Detroit Lions. Geez, wasn't a year in jail enough punishment?  (mlive.com)	(42)
		Paterson answers questions from reporters about a story the reporters don't know exists and denies rumors about what that story that he doesn't know exists might say  (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com)	(34)
		6 global corporations started by founder's bad luck. No mention of getting drunk for 2 years after being stymied by squirrel with big nuts  (cracked.com)	(14)
		Sports columnist has the huevos to hold himself accountable for his 2009 NFL preseason predictions, despite their accuracy  (sports.espn.go.com)	(41)

		Liquid water found on Enceladus, prompt dispatch of chicken, cheese and tortillas pending  (physorg.com)	(89)
(Some Almeda)		Fox confirms they are making a 24 movie and will send Jack Bauer to Europe. THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF LOCATIONS  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(52)
		Sen. Ben Nelson to Obama: No, you can't have some card-check-supporting SEIU lawyer on the National Labor Relations Board. Not yours  (abcnews.go.com)	(263)
		Eating frogs, scorpions, lizards then washing them down with cobra blood. Survival in the jungle? Celebrity reality show? Nope. U.S. Marines taking part in Asian war games  (dailymail.co.uk)	(76)
		Outlook for 2010 midterm elections looks so bad, Daily Kos is turning to Rasmussen polls for optimistic indicators  (dailykos.com)	(125)
		T-shirts for the New Orleans Saints' championship are busily being cranked out this week at an Adidas factory in, of all places, Indianapolis  (indystar.com)	(41)

		Our Iranian friends, in an effort to demonstrate their benevolent intentions, announce Feb. 11 unveiling of "Fist of Peace"  (foxnews.com)	(402)
		Hair extensions cause baldness  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(76)
		Half-naked women protest Ukrainian election. In other news, Ukranian elections are awesome  (news.com.au)	(165)

(Sunday Nation)		If you're an illegal alien and your happen to be the aunt of a sitting U.S. President, then congratulations. You may pass Go. You may collect $200  (nation.co.ke)	(217)
		Something new to blame on anthropogenic carbon emissions: fake maple syrup  (scientificamerican.com)	(25)

Keira Knightley: "Every time I do an interview with the English press, one of their questions is, 'How do you feel knowing that everyone thinks you're a s--t actress?' "  (huffingtonpost.com)

(56)

		Scientists discover method to use lasers and nanoscale explosions to destroy cancer cells. Still no cure for Restless Leg Syndrome  (news.yahoo.com)	(34)
		German historians want to re-release Hitler's book "Mein Kampf", their reasoning? "the copyright runs out in 2015, opening the way for neo-Nazi groups to publish their own versions."  (msnbc.msn.com)	(163)
		Goldman Sachs CEO gets only $9 million in restricted stock for doing "God's work." Congratulations, Angry Mob, you have deballed Wall Street  (ftalphaville.ft.com)	(27)
		Teabaggers take note: "To describe our democracy as a totalitarian regime insults the lives and memories of people that live under this and other terrible conditions."  (dailykos.com)	(170)
(rbs6Nations.com)		Yes, yes, yes America. We know you have your grand advertising extravaganza on Sunday evening. But before then there is the beginning of the 6 Nations with Ireland v Italy, England v Wales and Scotland v France - no helmets or pads allowed  (rbs6nations.com)	(147)
		Liberals wouldn't have to be so condescending if people weren't so damned stupid: "Their views are correct, self-evident, and based on fact and reason, while conservative positions are not just wrong but illegitimate"  (washingtonpost.com)	(378)
		"Advocates plan a Poverty Olympics on Sunday. Competitions include Skating Around Poverty and Welfare Hurdles. Mascots include a cockroach and a rat"  (nytimes.com)	(40)
		"He was originally granted bail, but it was revoked after he allegedly breached its conditions, requiring him not to engage in the services of female escorts or consume illegal drugs"  (smh.com.au)	(23)
		Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL) Places a blanket "hold" on ALL of Obama's nominations. Party of No strikes again  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(267)

(Some Observer)		Fighting naked on the neighbour's lawn is probably a good sign the relationship is over  (theobserver.ca)	(67)
		Producers of "Avatar" complain that their motion-capture alien stars were snubbed for Best Actor and Actress nominations  (news.yahoo.com)	(94)
		The IndyStar, who has seemingly never read anything about superstitions, is suggesting its readers vote Reggie Wayne on to the Madden '11 cover  (indystar.com)	(21)
		What are the drunkest cities in the U.S.? Congratulations, Fresno, CA, you have the thickest beer goggles  (content.usatoday.com)	(200)
		Limbaugh scoops MSM with allegations that Obama received favorable grading at Harvard because of his race. This news is only slightly less shocking when you realize it is completely untrue  (dailykos.com)	(564)
		In NYC, political ethics violations aren't a career-killer or even a setback - they're a job qualification  (nytimes.com)	(17)
		Fractures emerge as Tea Party factions can't decide to destroy The Republican Party from the inside or the outside  (cnn.com)	(200)
		Hackers steal millions of carbon credits. You may want to check your carbon credit report from all three agencies to see if you were a victim  (wired.com)	(147)
		Target, the big box retailer everyone goes to because they don't mistreat their employees, will eliminate 8,000 full time positions held by seasoned workers. To clarify, this is exactly what Circuit City did before things took a turn  (consumerist.com)	(146)

		Obama administration picks recipients of high-speed rail installations. Hmm... if only these states had something in common  (wired.com)	(434)
		Small states with homogenous populations and strong traditions of local government can sometimes do without sales taxes. Which is news to no one except Joe Scarborough, who apparently never took a basic economics class  (newsbusters.org)	(114)
		Scientists warn of an upcoming Lulz-quake of epic proportions as the Tea-baggers prepare to release their "crowd-sourced" party platform, to be entitled the "Contract From America"  (news.yahoo.com)	(352)
		Rahm Emmanuel will host a group of special needs people at the White House. The hard part will be telling them apart from the Congressional delegations    (blogs.wsj.com)	(74)
(WGNTV)		Reporter asks Mel Gibson if his new movie will "change perceptions of you." Mel calls him "sugar tits." Nah, just kidding. He calls him "a**hole." [video]  (wgntv.com)	(102)
		9 inventions that prove Leonardo da Vinci was a supervillain  (cracked.com)	(41)

		"Hurt Locker" and "Neo Skywalker Saves FernGully For Pocohontas" lead Oscar nominations with nine each  (msnbc.msn.com)	(319)
		Obama to cut farm subsidies, threatening one of three remaining bastions of communism in the Western hemisphere, the others being Cuba and the Pennsylvania liquor system    (desmoinesregister.com)	(128)
		US President to respond to questions posed by the educated and literate commentators of Youtube  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(180)
		2009 UEFA Champions League final surges past Super Bowl as world's most watched sporting event, with 109 million viewers who watched entire game. Absence of elderly white rockers stumbling through halftime show may be factor  (independent.co.uk)	(87)

(Columbus Dispatch)		Not News: Ohio State basketball team gets security called to its hotel room. News: It was the 1960 National Championship Team. Fark: It happened this weekend  (dispatch.com)	(17)
		If you or your kids want a Scott Brown action figure with chiseled abs, wearing nothing but a fig leaf over his nether regions, today is your lucky day  (foxnews.com)	(37)
(Political Wire)		Steele rules out presidential bid. Subby rules out serious long term relationship with Jessica Alba  (politicalwire.com)	(82)
		Far be it from us to cast aspersions on the quality of the US education system, but while your kids are competing in spelling bees, Australian children have a contest which tests their knowledge of advanced neuroscience  (news.com.au)	(128)

		The superstitions of politicians: Obama's strategist carried quartz for good luck, Indira Gandhi consulted soothsayers, and Pakistan's president kills a goat every day. Wait, what?  (blogs.abcnews.com)	(72)
(Some Guy who never got into FireFox)		FireFox users no longer have any reason to brag: Google Chrome now has extensions, including AdBlock  (chrome.google.com)	(185)
		What are the least God-fearing occupations in the county? That would be Hollywood filmmaker, scientist and journalist (except those on Fox News, of course)  (news.yahoo.com)	(132)
		One of the biggest donations to the Haitian earthquake relief fund totals just $14.64  (baltimoresun.com)	(145)

		Women's Studies programs removed from Canadian universities: "These courses has done untold damage to families, our court systems, labour laws, constitutional freedoms and even the ordinary relations between men and women"  (nationalpost.com)	(399)
		Five worst decisions made by a TV executive. Cop Rock defenders to the right  (cracked.com)	(103)
		More ammunition for the next credit vs. cash debate: Store owners can't set minimum amounts for credit card purchases, but can offer "suggestions." And discounts for cash purchases are legal  (online.wsj.com)	(105)
		Actual news headline: "Agility Competitions for Cats Gain Popularity". Your cat yawns, licks his butt, and goes back to sleep to wait for Caturday  (abcnews.go.com)	(1120)
		CBS rejects gay dating website ad for Super Bowl due do not "fitting CBS standards" preferring man & woman relationships that end in a baby  (money.cnn.com)	(189)
		Obama admits that Democrats let some provisions 'sneak into' health care legislation that violate his promises that citizens who like their insurance, doctors can keep them  (realclearpolitics.blogs.time.com)	(64)
		CNBC's Michelle Caruso-Cabrera gets Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-etard) to agree that Obama is sabotaging Toyota because he owns General Motors. At least she has nice tits  (newsbusters.org)	(38)

(GOP's Boehner)		The Republicans' "Better Solutions" have been released. I don't want to spoil anything, but many of them revolve around something that rhymes with "lax butts"  (republicanleader.house.gov)	(88)
		The 15 most tortured fanbases according to the Sports Guy. Congratulations Cubs fans, you finally finished first at something  (sports.espn.go.com)	(154)
		Fresh Prince impersonator prank calls Christian TV stations to discuss his spiritual journey from West Philadelphia to Bel Air (with vid)  (gawker.com)	(27)
		Do You think global warming is real and immediate action is needed to save the planet? Congratulations you tree-hugging traitor, you are on Osama bin Laden's side now  (news.yahoo.com)	(198)
(News 5)		Congratulations Rey Maualuga -- You're now officially a Cincinnati Bengal  (wlwt.com)	(45)
		"How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a Basketball Game?" and other mind-numbing questions, courtesy UGA's Phys Ed final exam  (thesmokinggun.com)	(83)

		WND thinks sumpin ain't right with this Google thing: "When was the last time a company making billions of dollars gave you every thing they offer for free? They're not free. You're the product, and that's the bait."  (wnd.com)	(149)
		It was clear from Sam Alito's confirmation hearing and his record of appellate opinions that he is a dogmatic, state-revering, right-wing judge. But last night, he unmasked himself as a politicized and intemperate Republican as well  (salon.com)	(477)
		The truth behind the Scorpions' retirement comes out: Their manager said it was "time to stop rocking." Come on, they had years left in them. YEARS I SAY  (contactmusic.com)	(22)

(11 Points)		The 11 most scandalous revelations about "Saved by the Bell" cast members contained in Dustin Diamond's autobiography  (11points.com)	(91)
		EPA: Anti-smog restrictions will increase Global Warming  (npr.org)	(51)
		US military is engaged in highly secret joint operations against Al Qaeda in Yemen. So don't tell anybody  (washingtonpost.com)	(125)
		Canadian government upset that police hired neutral polling company to analyse gun owners' opinions of gun registry, instead of smashing down doors and asking themselves  (calgaryherald.com)	(179)
		The Saints' victory last Sunday leaves only four teams that have never reached a Super Bowl. Yes, the Detroit Lions are one of those four  (content.usatoday.com)	(87)
		What was it like to be in the Superdome when the New Orleans Saints won the NFC Championship? Here you go  (youtube.com)	(86)

		In London, the AbbaWorld theme park opens and immediately rockets to the #1 spot on the list of worst vacation destinations ever  (abcnews.go.com)	(75)
(Some Favre Lover)		"That's the thing about Brett Favre: He's not afraid to throw interceptions. You have to admire him for that."  (bleedinggreennation.com)	(182)
		DOJ says concessions in Ticketmaster/Live Nation merger will lower ticket prices but only after a $49 convenience fee to access the lower prices  (msnbc.msn.com)	(42)

		"If corporations are persons, they are - if they behave as Milton Friedman wanted them to - persons with mental and emotional impairments so severe that any decent judge would feel entirely justified in declaring them incompetent."  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(178)
		A high class call girl plus some unexpected positions = Monday night. (Sponsored link)  (sho.com)	(71)
		Acclaimed author and music geek Michael Chabon muses on death of commercial radio and oldies stations on which he used to hear enjoyable and memorable tunes from his youth, but now only hears "Sussudio"  (sfgate.com)	(69)

		80's German metal stalwarts "The Scorpions" announce that they are breaking up. In other news, 80's German metal stalwarts "The Scorpions" still existed  (denverpost.com)	(81)
		Ever thought about redrawing the fifty states to equalize the populations and thus the representation in the US Senate? Here's a really cool map which shows what it would look like  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(380)
		Will the Jets make the Colts regret sitting their starters? Will 40-year old Brett Favre lead the Vikings back to the Super Bowl? Will Breesus save us all? It's your AFC & NFC Championship Game thread (3:00pm ET CBS, 6:40pm ET FOX)  (sports.espn.go.com)	(7255)

(Some Guy)		Thomas Edison inventions include the lightbulb, phonograph and Vitascope motion picture projector. Here's why he was so interested in that projector  (thiswebsiteblocked.com)	(49)
		Homeopathic poisons are just as effective as homeopathic medications, so let that be a warning to you  (livescience.com)	(85)
		Experience has already proven that prohibiting health insurers from basing coverage decisions on pre-existing conditions is the surest way to kill the health insurance industry  (reason.com)	(314)

		Fearing campaign funding will get worse after SCOTUS decision, corporate CEOs tell Congress to quit calling them for contributions, to publically fund elections instead  (abcnews.go.com)	(151)
		In the mid 80's, scientists transmitted the sounds of vaginal contractions towards neighbouring star systems. It is unclear what sort of reply we should expect, but it's sure to come hard and fast    (newscientist.com)	(64)
		Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, profits up 23% on a sesame seed bun  (marketwatch.com)	(39)
(Maan News)		Hamas: "Can anyone explain how our recent 'Death to Israel' and 'Hamas will never nullify its charter' declarations were turned into recognition of Israel and accepting its right to exist? Death to Israel"  (maannews.net)	(53)
		New Orleans' Prytania Theater is booked to show Oscar-nominated director Jane Campion's "Bright Star" the same day as the Saints' NFC Championship Game against the Vikings. Solution? Fark Jane Campion  (nola.com)	(34)
(Some Tribune)		Five Latin American/Caribbean nations lost significant amounts of economic freedom in 2009. This is bad news... for a Bahaman  (tribune242.com)	(15)

(Citizen.org)		Liberal advocacy group Public Citizen reacts to today's Supreme Court decision by calling for a constitutional amendment and public financing of elections and groups that whine and stamp their feet enough  (citizen.org)	(250)
		Joe Namath likes the underdog Jets chances against the Colts in the championship game this weekend. This is not a repeat from 1969  (nj.com)	(89)
		Swedish students occupy brewery as part of a series of demonstrations aimed at convincing management to build a beer pipeline to their university  (thelocal.se)	(37)
		Hideki Matsui is in favor of a global baseball championship, pron  (sports.espn.go.com)	(28)
		I felt a great disturbance in the Fark, as if millions of headlines suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened  (startribune.com)	(149)

		Martha Stewart takes a swing or two around a stripper pole, flattening erections within an entire city block (video)  (nypost.com)	(41)
		Heidi Montag takes her freshly mutilated body to Access Hollywood, despite being unable to offer any facial expressions: "I'm still readjusting to talking" (with vid)  (huffingtonpost.com)	(112)
		Harrison Ford says if you want to make a good flick in Hollywood these days, hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid  (foxnews.com)	(58)
		It's aquigley's 2010 AFC/NFC Championship Sports Tab Spectacularrrrrrrrrrrrrr  (spreadsheets.google.com)	(357)
		Now that the credit markets have begun to thaw out, the US Government is sitting on billions of dollars in profit from the AIG bailout  (ft.com)	(171)
		First shipment of "highly radioactive waste" leaving UK bound for Japan. The Japanese deny any allegations that it will be used in experiments on Monster Island  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(36)

(some Yat)		Governor Bobby Jindal thinks he's bad luck for the Saints, won't attend NFC Championship game  (wwl.com)	(59)
		An millions of nerds breathe a deep sigh of relief: Tobey Maguire will not be Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit  (slashfilm.com)	(53)
		Should victims of unconstitutional police actions be financially compensated even if police acted in good faith and victim suffered no financial loss? Bonus: Police seize car searching for pie  (nationalpost.com)	(122)
		No, by law you can't root against the Saints this weekend, and other silly NFL playoff questions answered  (online.wsj.com)	(180)
		Brady center upset that President Obama has not sought violations of the United States Constitution  (thehill.com)	(304)
		Citigroup loses $7.6B in 4Q so it can repay TARP and pay bonuses to people who make decisions like this  (abcnews.go.com)	(49)

		"Destroying the integrity of U.S. elections has been a longtime project for the far left"  (pajamasmedia.com)	(188)
		Norv Turner coaches the New York Jets into the AFC Championship  (espn.go.com)	(347)

		Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban promises 38,000 wildly cheering fans that this BCS Championship is just the beginning. Speculation on his new team, salary, and successor at Alabama to the right  (govolsxtra.com)	(60)
		Wyclef Jean is "disgusted" by accusations that he's profiting from Haiti charity, so he takes to YouTube and provides specific rebuttal to absolutely none of the allegations  (abcnews.go.com)	(157)
		Six major powers move closer to thinking about someday discussing the possibility of sanctions against Iran. Maybe  (nytimes.com)	(44)
		Texting 90999 to donate to the American Red Cross to support Haiti operations? You could probably swim there with a ten dollar bill and get it to them faster  (online.wsj.com)	(112)

		Dr. Sanjay Gupta has more courage and dedication than the United Nations, who abandoned patients out of fear  (cnn.com)	(281)
		"Blazing ring wows millions across the globe." Subby remembers the last time he tried to amaze millions across the globe with his... oh forget it  (abc.net.au)	(15)
(Some Guy)		It's a slow news day so here's an article telling you it's time to take down your holiday decorations  (carrollcounty.com)	(37)
		English football and African football precede American football today. Its your EPL and Africa Cup of Nations discussion thread  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(76)
		Congratulations 49ers, you're the next team to get a "home" game in London  (cbssports.com)	(44)
		Press corps dogpile Robert Gibbs over WH violations of promises of transparency  (youtube.com)	(101)

		Two days after doing a brutal impression of Jay Leno on his show, Jimmy Kimmel goes on Leno's show and answers 10 questions. The carnage is so great it can only be classified as "epic win"  (tv.gawker.com)	(291)
		73 percent of Div 1-A college football head coaches prefer BCS to any sort of championship playoffs. After all, when you have a Weedeater Bowl trophy in your office, you're already a champion  (orlandosentinel.com)	(75)
		A week has passed since the BCS Championship game, which means it's high time to start ranking the teams for the 2010 season  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(98)

		Medical decisions should be between you and your doctor... and the hospital's lawyers who get a court order forcing three months bed rest away from your two small children  (abcnews.go.com)	(213)
		Congratulations 8-year-old Cub Scout Mikey Hicks, you are a terrorist  (wcbstv.com)	(163)
		On Thursday, Dr. Ruth will be sworn in as the city's honorary secretary of the "Department of Love and Relationships."...yeah, 'cause when you think romance, you think DC    (wtop.com)	(32)
		Lionsgate currently winning the bidding war for the Terminator franchise. Well, they can't make anything worse than everything that followed the original  (variety.com)	(51)

(American Spectator)		Yep, it's who you know: Democrats reward labor unions for their political support by exempting them from the proposed surtax on high-priced "Cadillac" health care plans  (spectator.org)	(384)
		Head of PBS says that TV stations are violating the Children's Television Act by showing too many commercials I WANT A GI JOE NIGHT RAVEN AND A TRANSFORMER  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Hundreds of millions of dollars and multiple failed attempts later, U.S. cities say they've figured out free WiFi for all  (govtech.com)	(51)
		"The White House on Thursday confirmed receipt of a letter from U.S. Rep. Nathan Deal that formally asks Barack Obama to address questions about his place of birth." Your move, Mr. Soetoro  (wnd.com)	(408)
		Jim Haslett will become Washington Redskins defensive coordinator, crippling the chances of the Florida Tuskers reaching the UFL championship for a second straight season  (stltoday.com)	(28)

(Some Guy)		Dept of Corrections: Uhh, this is the picture that should have gone with the child molestation story. To the gentleman whose picture we left up since September by accident.... our bad?  (www2.scnow.com)	(28)
		Transformers 3 to start filming in May will "focus more on the characters, particularly the relationship between Sam and Bumblebee," instead of being a loud, dumb movie with robots fighting, even though that's all people want  (cinematical.com)	(95)
		Jews are only 0.2 percent of the world population, but make up large percentages of Nobel prize winners, chess champions, world leader puppeteers  (nytimes.com)	(426)
		Going without sex may help relationships, or at least help foster new ones  (clickorlando.com)	(434)
(NBC Sports)		Although the Dallas Cowboys were prepared to go crazy signing free agents in an uncapped year, winning their playoff game last weekend now puts restrictions on who they can sign  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(63)
		Sorry I buried your Malibu Barbie in the sandbox: Latest trend is apologizing to family and friends for transgressions in the distant past  (online.wsj.com)	(187)
		WA bloodmobile gives free beer in exchange for blood donations, singlehandedly turning the Pacific Northwest into the hero capitol of the world  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(66)
		Notoriously loud, violent protest groups threaten to oust their party if health care bill passes. Fark: It's the unions, wanting the DNC out of business  (huffingtonpost.com)	(138)

		"Civil unions like allowing one bite of Twinkie." Gays want full marriage, which would be akin to a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds  (cnn.com)	(650)
		Little League adds new age division for 13-year-olds featuring transitional field dimensions that the 14-year-olds can get used to before these 15-year-olds move on to regulation-size fields  (abcnews.go.com)	(26)
		New book asks "why does time flow in one direction only," and other questions you've posed to your friends while very, very high  (online.wsj.com)	(194)
		Not News: Politician takes leave due to allegations of sexual impropriety. News: With his wife  (online.wsj.com)	(63)
		Harrison Ford on Indy 5: "I think it would be interesting to deepen the relationship between he and his son and play on that relationship. ... It's full of opportunity." Only Shia LeBeouf's agent agrees  (denofgeek.com)	(99)

		The recent Arctic front has had an effect on bass. Les Claypool, Flea and Geddy Lee are taking extra precautions, but the White Stripes and the surviving members of the Doors have barely noticed  (statesman.com)	(20)
(Some Web developer)		Mozilla looking to end support for Firefox extensions  (steelgryphon.com)	(47)
		Dr. Herbert Spiegel, credited with treating pain, anxiety and various addictions by placing people in trances may - or may not - be dead  (nytimes.com)	(30)
		Who needs questions? Baltimore vs New England. Green Bay vs Arizona. It's your Wild Card Sunday discussion thread  (sports.yahoo.com)	(5)

(Bleacher Report)		Your first MLB power rankings of 2010. Discussions of why your team should be higher on the list to the right  (bleacherreport.com)	(126)
		The latest politician to release a formal "Shut up Dick Cheney, you cock" would be the ranking member of the Foreign Relations Committee, Republican Senator Richard Lugar  (news.yahoo.com)	(112)

		Actual headline: Dem lawmaker questions Hick's rural credentials  (denverpost.com)	(26)
		Robert Gibbs finally answers the most pressing question of the day: "I don't foresee a scenario in which millions people who hope to finally get some conclusion with 'Lost' are preempted by the president."  (huffingtonpost.com)	(60)
		Wild turkey blamed for power outage, most bad decisions    (kcra.com)	(36)
		In one of the stupidest decisions yet in 2010, Ford puts iPhone apps into cars allowing drivers catch up on Twitter, listen to Internet radio, check movie times, and swerve into random lanes  (latimes.com)	(67)
		Overturned semi full of cattle stuck on median in Iowa. Hazardous conditions preventing rescue. Friday's Iowa headline: Huge Self-serve Frozen Beef Sale  (desmoinesregister.com)	(70)
		Alabama beats Texas 37-21, advances to play Boise State for national championship  (freep.com)	(655)
		CDC warns that H1N1 is still causing hospitalizations and death. EVERYBODY PANIC AGAIN  (cnn.com)	(112)

		Crotch-bomber's one-way ticket to Detroit was actually two-way, and other corrections you may have missed  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(109)
		After a year with six employees killed, the worst crash in its history, and too many safety violations to count, DC Metro allows independent investigators on its tracks. And nearly kills all of them in one fell swoop with a speeding train  (washingtonpost.com)	(119)
		Today's talk radio poutrage? President Obama commissions 1984 style billboard in Times Square. Book it. Done  (foxnews.com)	(183)
(NBCNewYork.com)		Sir / Madam, congratulation to you. You have selected to win $165 Mega Millions lotery. We have gotten the approval to send your check to you, but we need $1 million for check to be issued. Signed, Suffolk County, NY  (nbcnewyork.com)	(221)

		Obama finally realizes that the GOP may not be trying to help make the health care bill better, decides to freeze them out of the final bill negotiations  (cnn.com)	(473)
		You know that fancy, schmancy National Operations Center we set up at DHS to coordinate federal agencies' info on terror? It doesn't work, "functions largely in name only"  (hotair.com)	(66)
		Barack Obama needs to conduct diplomatic relations with his enemies, including Dick Cheney  (newsweek.com)	(90)
		Astronomers find large halo around Milky Way has strange shape, most likely warped by perturbations from the gravitational influence of Rosie O'Donnell's dinner plate  (space.com)	(20)
		Study reveals that Autism is caused by high concentrations of educated, affluent, white parents  (npr.org)	(183)
		After finishing 5-11, Cleveland Browns consider replacing head coach Eric Mangini with Marty Mornhinweg, who last coached the Detroit Lions to a 5-27 record over two seasons  (sports.yahoo.com)	(72)
		New book by Osama Bin Laden's children reveal a cruel father who routinely beat his kids, killed theIr pets in poison gas experiments, and asked them to go on suicide missions  (abcnews.go.com)	(188)
		Canada deflated as USA snaps their five-year Gold Medal streak at World Junior Hockey Championships. America looks up from what it's doing and asks "The World what now?"  (ctv.ca)	(197)
(wbns)		Police investigation finds that cop who pretended to have cancer so he could collect more then $20,000 and 600 hours of sick leave didn't commit any crimes. In other news, Subby has cancer. Donations to the right  (10tv.com)	(113)

(Watertown Daily Times)		New York sewage company to begin treating local water supply to remove mercury released by mining operations. Subby's sure he read something like this in an Hg Wells short story years ago  (watertowndailytimes.com)	(127)
		Producers Guild of America has unveiled their nominations for Best Picture...and Star Trek is on the list  (variety.com)	(137)

(Some Guy)		After doing the math on Warren Beatty's age, relationship status and likely copulation days, columnist calls shenanigans on Beatty's genitalic feats  (animalnewyork.com)	(40)
		Columnist responds to hatemail: "You intuitively understand, letters written entirely in capitals impress with their intensity. I would advise you adopt this form of communication for all correspondence, particularly job applications"  (washingtonpost.com)	(227)
		With their loss to the Bears yesterday, the Detroit Lions complete the worst decade ever for a professional sports team  (espn.go.com)	(56)
(Drew)		Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest  (fark.com)	(147)
		Two Federal marshalls shot in Las Vegas Federal building. So, let's all quickly jump to conclusions and blame someone we don't like  (foxnews.com)	(545)
		John Mayer finds his Twitter account as satisfying as a romantic relationship. SWEET NOTHINGS COMING OUT  (contactmusic.com)	(9)
		10 foolproof predictions for the Internet in 2020  (networkworld.com)	(70)
		Congratulations to the Denver Broncos for becoming only the third team in NFL history to start 6-0 and miss the playoffs  (espn.go.com)	(100)

		Manchester United eliminated from FA Cup, at home, against team two divisions below them. Go be fat somewhere else, Rooney  (uk.eurosport.yahoo.com)	(43)
		USC sanctions USC for O.J. Mayo debacle. Reggie Bush laughs, lights his Cohiba Siglo VI Gran Reserva with $100 bill  (usatoday.com)	(23)
(Some Guy)		Lions clinch second pick in NFL draft after being slapped around by Chicago. Bonus: fan running on field had more rushing yards than Lions' top two rushers combined  (mlive.com)	(55)
		Ben Bernanke, The Federal Reserve chairman in charge of regulating monetary policy, says we need more regulations. Or someone who understands how to use them  (nytimes.com)	(19)
		DC government sues AT&T over unused minutes. Not on behalf of customers, mind, but on the novel theory that whatever you buy and don't use belongs to the State. Millions of starving Chinese hardest hit  (reuters.com)	(118)
		The estate of Sherlock Holmes is threatening to withdraw Guy Ritchie's rights to the franchise if there is any hint of a homosexual relationship in the sequel. Really, they should just do it out of good taste  (contactmusic.com)	(128)

		The Great Swine Flu Pandemic of 2009 which killed millions worldwide and plunged the world into chaos... yeah, it's pretty much a bust  (cbsnews.com)	(155)
		2010: The Year We Tied Onions To Our Belts  (redorbit.com)	(71)
		London Times asks the important questions of our time: "Is John Mayer a rock god, or just a celebrity boyfriend?"  (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk)	(37)

		North Korea sends out its New Years message:"The fundamental task for ensuring peace and stability on the Korean Peninsula and in the rest of Asia is to put an end to the hostile relationship between the DPRK and the USA"  (thehill.com)	(64)
		Psychic predictions for 2010 include Obama's assassination, Sarah Palin posing nude, and giant bats  (examiner.com)	(186)
		Wells Fargo responds to the angry mob; No cash bonuses for top executives. They will get stock options as an incentive to make intelligent long-term investments. Happy New Year  (marketwatch.com)	(36)

(Eurekalert.org)		Scientists show 'lifeless' prions capable of evolutionary change and adaptation, conquering worlds  (eurekalert.org)	(72)
		One final indignity for the Lions  (670thescore.stats.com)	(14)
(Some Guy)		Guy reflects on the six months he has been living soap and shampoo-free. "My wife now mentions more than ever before that "you smell good." OK, I had to post that only because some might worry on that score...."  (freetheanimal.com)	(148)
		You play on a football team that's having one of its worst seasons in years. Do you C) insult and blame a local football analyst? "This is coming from a guy that's got 22 career touchdowns and 35 interceptions."  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(19)
		In a study that is likely to shock millions, Dr. Rick Romero reveals that patients who stop smoking after suffering a heart attack tend to live longer  (abcnews.go.com)	(25)
		While listing memberships in civic organizations is often a good way to enhance your resume, it's probably best not to include your KKK membership, particularly if you work in law enforcement  (abcnews.go.com)	(177)
(Xinhua)		Transparent goldfish produced in Japan to reduce the need for dissections in school. Tastes like chicken  (news.xinhuanet.com)	(36)

		Mythbusters proove that Captain Kirk should leave the impromptu inventions to MacGyver  (dsc.discovery.com)	(67)
(Techflash)		If you're unemployed, perhaps you haven't learned proper answers for these questions: "What was your best McGuyver moment? How would you move Mount Fuji? How would you sell me eggnog in Florida in the summer?"  (techflash.com)	(108)
		Mynd you, concussions from falling møøse heads kan be pretty nasti  (abcnews.go.com)	(42)
		Former anti-porn crusader says research for "Zipper Disease" explains his stash of Penthouse, Penthouse Secret Fantasies, Penthouse Sex Files, Penthouse Forum, Penthouse Letters, Best of Forum Letters, Penthouse Variations  (newsok.com)	(148)
		Despite his 11 divorces, the man told the court he never has problems finding women. "I send out a hook in all directions, and the fish come on their own."  (myfoxdc.com)	(111)
		From the same folks who assured us that Sarah Palin was a viable vice-presidential candidate, here are the NRO editorial staff's political predictions for 2010  (article.nationalreview.com)	(134)
		You're Brett Favre's nephew, you win the state high school football championship, and break the career TD passing record by 40. And no college will touch you  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(128)

(Some Guy)		Have a yen for nudity? Ayn Rand? Welding? Then these college scholarhip competitions might be for you  (zencollegelife.com)	(142)
(Viral Footage)		Hippo attacked by pride of lions bites back  (viralfootage.com)	(43)
		"Welcome to the DC DMV. Your vehicle inspection and emission test will cost $35." "But inspections aren't required any more." "Welcome to the DC DMV. Your emission test will cost $35."  (washingtonpost.com)	(249)
		Police granted authority to declare search warrant free zones around bars and train stations and strip search anybody who might have weapons or breasts    (smh.com.au)	(160)
		Could custody battle between Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston over son impact her mother's 2012 aspirations? Be with us next time for "Sarah Lee's Baked Alaska" or "What A Long, Strange Tripp She's Been"  (courant.com)	(93)

		For 20 years in San Francisco, sea lions have hauled out on wooden docks next to Pier 39. And now they are all gone, and no one knows why, or where they've gone  (wired.com)	(114)
		Ever ignore the seatbelt sign on an airplane? Ever decide to watch a crappy Jamie Foxx movie on your flight? Congratulations, you're engaging in terrorist activity  (businessweek.com)	(229)
		Cardinal's Adrian Wilson just 10th person in NFL history to reach 20 sacks and interceptions  (azcentral.com)	(36)
		Mine explosions kill 12 in China. 1,325,639,982 still trapped  (msnbc.msn.com)	(47)
		Czechs Hungary to Pole the Communist Party out of elections, which they claim is abSerb and could Croat a bad precedent  (nytimes.com)	(123)

		Ohio Supreme Court rules 4th amendment protections now cover cellphones  (nytimes.com)	(178)
		Police forced to drop 'Christmas' from poster advertising their increased public presence over holidays in case it upsets atheists or other militants who can't bear to hear that people believe in religions other than theirs  (dailymail.co.uk)	(232)

		"Teenagers are using repeat abortions as a form of birth control, with some girls having four or more terminations by the age of 18"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(535)
		Flying to suck even harder - new restrictions after Nigerian bomber include not leaving one's seat for the last hour of flight  (nytimes.com)	(599)
		Manny Pacquiao to sue Floyd Mayweather over doping allegations. If only there were someplace they could settle their differences  (news.yahoo.com)	(41)

"Imagine the outrage if any Republican President went on vacation during a recession and spent $4,000 a night on accommodations." Hey, at least Dubya's 77 visits to Crawford were rent-free, right?  (newsbusters.org)

(167)

(Some Jewish Santa)		"I wanna be Santa. My qualifications? I'm Jewish, a teacher, Fulbright scholar, Guggenheim fellow and author of 14 books. I have a beard. For 53 years I have wanted to participate as other than an envious Christmas outsider"  (metrosantacruz.com)	(96)
		"That something is wrong in the Senate has begun to penetrate the DC establishment. Pressure on this might ease in the coming months as health-care reform has brought an unusual clarity and urgency to the chamber's dysfunctions"  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(132)
		Stephen Harper has been named Canadian newsmaker of the year in survey of the most boring news organizations ever  (cbc.ca)	(36)
		Jimmy Carter apologizes for his actions that offended Jews in the past. This has nothing to do with his grandson running for office. In a predominantly Jewish district. Nothing. Honest. Really  (foxnews.com)	(69)

		ACORN didn't violate any federal regulations, and the "undercover heroes of the GOP" may have violated state law by filming as they did  (twincities.com)	(328)
		Problem: Hollywood puts out two dozen big-budget stankfests a year. Solution: The best straight-to-DVD releases of 2009. Warning: movie descriptions exceed fourth grade reading level (Sponsored link)  (ifc.com)	(76)
		British government outlaws spice, despite the objections of the spacing guild  (theregister.co.uk)	(85)
		NY court tells Trekkie there's no way in the universe he deserves millions in damages for spending over $11,000 on Data's uniform, which turns out to be fake. Comic Book Guy surrenders  (wtsp.com)	(163)
(smarter Travel)		Customers submit line-by-line instructions for how airlines can improve their business model. Airlines respond: "We can't hear you over the sound of how awesome we are."  (smartertravel.com)	(79)

		Jim DeMint (R-ight) objects to Reid's health care bill changing Senate rules to require a supermajority to make changes to provisions  (hotair.com)	(314)
		10 minutes of your life you'll never get back: Some ubernerd rambling about why he collects zillions of action figures. Ouch. My brain  (iheartchaos.com)	(38)
		Ford, having somehow failed to get cost-cutting concessions from owners of its competitors in contract negotiations, offers to just buy them all out  (reuters.com)	(86)
		Tori Amos has a vicious relationship with her husband. In other news, Tori Amos is not a lesbian  (contactmusic.com)	(80)
		When considering making charitable donations this holiday season, here is one organzation you may have overlooked  (wbbm780.com)	(41)
		Engaging the X-Drive: Ten ways to traverse deep space. Dr. Richard Seaton unavailable for comment  (newscientist.com)	(98)

		According to scientific analysis of millions of years of data, Earth is doomed to see its sixth epic mass extinction thanks to habitat destruction, pollution and global warming  (sfgate.com)	(189)
		Apparently not supporting the troops is patriotism as Kay Bailey Hutchinson (scRewed) is about to find out as Tea Baggers prostest her vote for cloture on a defense appropriations bill  (dallasnews.com)	(81)
		The wHitE houSe ThoUght People hID communIcaTions BURied iN the newS  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(119)
(Some stats guys)		U.S. government prosecutions reach a record high. Apparently that's what happens when the U.S. government isn't trying to fire the prosecutors  (trac.syr.edu)	(21)
		Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year: "The site was named in at least 20 per cent of divorce petitions in America this year"  (thesun.co.uk)	(168)
		Auschwitz sign found, much to the relief of park officials, who may now open all rides and concessions just in time for the holiday tourist rush  (sfgate.com)	(123)

		In light of reported and unreported concussions, the NFL asks current and former players to donate- A: Time, B: Money, or C:BRAINZZZZ  (foxnews.com)	(28)
		News: Penn State rallies from two sets down to win volleyball game. Newsier: For national championship. Newsiest: And 102nd consecutive victory  (sports.espn.go.com)	(47)

		Naked grinch launches furious attack on Carvel ice cream shop's Christmas decorations  (sun-sentinel.com)	(32)
		Mugabe: "When these capitalist gods of carbon burp and belch their dangerous emissions, it's we, the lesser mortals of the developing sphere, who gasp and sink and eventually die." Right. That is, unless Mugabe kills them first  (townhall.com)	(261)
(Some Gooooool)		Inter. Barca. Lyon. Arsenal. Your Champions League Last-16 Draw is here  (uefa.com)	(55)

		'Green' vibrators promise sustainable pleasure. Article says nothing about emissions  (news.yahoo.com)	(146)
		Bryan Singer is returing to the X-Men franchise. Oh, I hope we can finally find out what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning. There are just so many unanswered questions  (contactmusic.com)	(80)
		Lions coach Jim Schwartz says his team's indomitable will will result in victories. Just kidding. He said his team has no talent and is comprised of "castoffs" from other NFL teams  (sports.yahoo.com)	(398)
		Nancy Pelosi promises to thwart the future of manned space missions. Great. So the Romulans now have time travel too?  (physorg.com)	(331)
(Hulu)		It's been 20 years since 'The Simpsons' debuted on television. Discussions about how the show hasn't been good for ten years to the right  (hulu.com)	(84)

		50-year-old bar/punk-rock venue announces on Facebook its impending foreclosure over $20K in back taxes, receives more than enough in donations in less than 12 hours  (nj.com)	(37)
(Ric Romero)		Since the challenge went out to FARK.com last Thursday, there have been 582 online donations made for $13,659.20 to the Spark of Love toy drive  (abclocal.go.com)	(15)

		"Up in the Air" and "Nine" lead in Golden Globe nominations with 6 and 5 respectively, which is pretty impressive considering, you know, neither one of them have been released yet  (cinematical.com)	(60)
		You are visiting Jerusalem to see some friends and get stopped by customs. They don't like your answers to their questions, so they C) put 6 bullets in your Macbook Pro before letting you enter the country (w/pic of dead machine)  (engadget.com)	(149)
		If you were stupid enough to buy both the theatrical release and extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Warner Bros hopes you'll be stupid enough to do it again for the Blu-Ray versions in 2010 and 2011  (denofgeek.com)	(110)
		"Ford Motor chairman not following Detroit Lions." That's OK, no one else is either  (google.com)	(19)
		Executive in charge of Accenture Match Play Championship reiterates tourney's no-Tiger-no-refund policy to ticketholders. "We are hoping people are buying a ticket to an event and not an individual"  (azstarnet.com)	(32)
		It's your college football playoff (that will never happen in a million farking years because it would make too much sense) simulator. Difficulty: Try to get West Virginia to win the National Championship  (espn.go.com)	(99)

		Like Christmas decorations, the annual "we're running out of salt to de-ice roads" hysteria seems to come to the UK earlier every year  (guardian.co.uk)	(35)
		Prepare to have your dearest preconceptions utterly shattered - British kids have the best teeth in Europe  (economist.com)	(63)
		Three Americans who accidentally crossed into Iran will be tried. And not just becase Iran learned from N. Korea that you get great political concessions for convicting Americans and then negotiating their release  (msnbc.msn.com)	(221)
		Land owners near 2010 PGA Championship site show where their balls lie as state claims eminent domain  (jsonline.com)	(25)
		Despite little outward evidence, proposed Botox and plastic surgery tax evoking deep emotional reactions  (chron.com)	(123)

		Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin says he takes investigations of the school's recruiting practices as a compliment.....wait, what?  (sports.espn.go.com)	(62)
		Scientists unveil VISTA telescope. Scientists bogged down with questions such as "Are you sure you want to view this galaxy?"  (foxnews.com)	(46)

(chattahbox.com)		"There is a lively discussion on [Peter] Watts' case on the site Fark.com." In related news, Fark has lively discussions. (shoutout appears in the 5th paragraph from the bottom)  (chattahbox.com)	(13)
(Some Guy)		The signature drink of a TGIF bartender competing in the World Bartender Championship finals is a White Gummy Bear Martini  (phoenix.metromix.com)	(139)
		Man robbed while on MySpace date. If Farkers did this, they would have left atheist dissertations, pictures of captioned kitties, and a very snarky message on the bathroom mirror  (freep.com)	(59)

		Kings of Leon will never split up like Oasis. Great, so now the only options left are wishing for a nuclear holocaust or the apocalypse  (contactmusic.com)	(14)
(ABC7)		Ric Romero thanks FARK.com for toy drive donations  (abclocal.go.com)	(298)
		"A small number of very zealous gamers trying to impose their will on society," says man who single-handedly bans games from sale in Australia due to moral objections  (gamepolitics.com)	(141)
		Random drugs tests are to be introduced to the World Pie Eating Championships. About time, too  (lep.co.uk)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Oh, look, it's time for "These Christmas decorations look beautiful BUT THEY COULD KILL YOU" article  (starnewsonline.com)	(21)
		Why Canada is being slammed by the world for climate change emissions even though it's the United States that farted in the elevator and then let someone else get shunned for it  (earthtimes.org)	(104)

		FTC report includes five recommendations for keeping kids safe in virtual worlds; surprisingly, "parental supervision" did not make the list  (gamepolitics.com)	(22)
		Jack Nicklaus gives the most rational answer yet, to a reporters questions regarding Tiger Woods personal life. "Its none of my business" *Golf Clap*  (sports.espn.go.com)	(70)
		Lions, and Tigers and Bears, oh, my  (abcnews.go.com)	(71)
		Democrats and Republicans are now equally hated. So, congratulations on that  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(95)
		R. Kelley's working on a new memoir. It's as yet untitled, so it is a golden opportunity to shower him with suggestions  (news.yahoo.com)	(27)
		The spiral lights over Norway that lasted 15 minutes and baffled astronomers were just lights reflecting from leaking jet fuel. So don't bother asking any more questions. Just leaking jet fuel.....really  (dailymail.co.uk)	(160)
(Some Guy)		"The truth is that there are millions of American men who find older women attractive, and we will prove it on the Cougar Cruise."  (heraldsun.com.au)	(500)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop your 2010 predictions  (horribleville.com)	(52)

		Spend trillions of dollars to combat climate change, or face "extinction of the human race". OOGABOOGA ARE YOU SCARED YET?  (nytimes.com)	(659)
		AT&T responds to accusations of dropped calls and shoddy network coverage by proposing a plan to increase their infrastructure by 400% by the end of 2010. Just kidding, they're punishing customers who use the most data  (hosted.ap.org)	(120)
		Woman who drank herself unconscious sues hospital for resulting leg amputations; not expected to stand up in court  (startribune.com)	(295)
		Liverpool fighting the odds to avoid elimination. Not even Barca is safe. Some other teams probably play, too. Your Wednesday Champions League thread  (soccernet.espn.go.com)	(32)

		397K Toyota Corollas being investigated for stalling on highway, at intersections. Other 3 million Corolla owners breathe sigh of relief despite having quarter mile times comparable to a stalled Corolla  (wheels.blogs.nytimes.com)	(75)
		"I realize nothing I do or say will stop the annual ritual [of tech predictions]. So since I can't beat 'em, I may as well join them...Facebook...becomes a UN-recognized nation."  (betanews.com)	(16)
		US tells Pakistan to get with the bad guy killin' in their tribal regions or they'll do it for them  (nytimes.com)	(124)
		Autism seen as asset, not liability, in some jobs and getting greenlit submissions on Fark  (msnbc.msn.com)	(245)
		When Santa is naked on the front lawn, kids are gonna start asking questions  (wtsp.com)	(23)
		Community website Fark used a small group of coordinators to collect info and deploy spotters who could check up on suspected balloon locations  (popsci.com)	(6)

		"It took nearly 150 years for Congress to pass a resolution apologizing for slavery. We should apologize now to future generations for what we've done and are doing to America."  (townhall.com)	(134)
		Environmentalists surprised to find that civil war can be good for wildlife populations. Possibly linked to there being fewer humans or something  (cnn.com)	(26)
		Two men make 28,000 fake hotel reservations for points to make not-so-fake hotel reservations  (examiner.com)	(83)

(Some Guy)		If you broke into a house and stole three accordions, the police would like to ask you WTF you were thinking, once they stop laughing  (wiltshiretimes.co.uk)	(69)
		Having demonstrated his unparalleled cinematic prowess in Transformers 2, Michael Bay moves on to the next level: Victorias Secret ads. Yes, there are explosions. Yes, there are lens flares  (dailymail.co.uk)	(54)

		Tens of millions attend Glenn Beck's "Christmas Sweater" simulcast in New York, Boston, and DC, making it the highest grossing theatrical release since The Dark Knight  (thinkprogress.org)	(94)
		Conservative activists want the Republican party to deny funds to any candidate who agrees with fewer than eight of their ten conservative positions. It is being called a "purity test," and it is a mistake  (article.nationalreview.com)	(201)
(Some Guy)		"One of the indications you want to look for when you're on your favorite tree lot, is to look at the needles and feel them and pull them a little bit, run your hands back and forth." Giggity  (kfbb.com)	(19)
		I've been herring that the last sardine plant in the U.S. may pack it in and are floundering over new catch restrictions. Oh Cod, say it's not true    (bangordailynews.com)	(23)

		Michigan football will have lots of questions in 2010. At least they can spend the bowl season trying to come up with some answers since they don't have anything better to do  (freep.com)	(72)
(Monsters and Critics)		Germany will finish paying World War I reparations next year, So, remember that the next time some guy named Archie Duke shoots an ostrich because he's hungry, just let it go    (monstersandcritics.com)	(98)
(Smilin' Sepp Blatter)		Today, millions of people will wait anxiously to see if they just got screwed by Charlize Theron. It's your 2010 World Cup final draw thread  (fifa.com)	(435)

		Music industry saved by Beyonce's 10 Grammy nominations, 9 for shower singer Taylor Swift and a nom for Hall & Oates "Sara Smile" which is 33 years old  (rollingstone.com)	(71)
		Hard to believe ten years ago everyone was worried about Y2K. Now, here we are, ready for 2010. Here are some millenial predictions that were right and wrong  (io9.com)	(83)

		0-18. New Jersey Nets = Detroit Lions of basketball  (espn.go.com)	(114)
		Oregon scientists work like crazy for 11 years, solve mystery of brain cell glutamate receptor structure. "I am not sure whether non-crystallographers can truly appreciate what an astonishing tour-de-force this is"  (oregonlive.com)	(65)
		Looking at actual music sales instead of bald assertions by white male hipster critics, this decade's top musical influences were reality TV smash hits, novelty records, charity singles, cover versions, manufactured pop, and Kylie Minogue  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)	(166)
		Greek ship hijacked by pirates reaches Somali coast. Accomodations for captive crew members expected to be spARRtan  (sfgate.com)	(51)
		Man gets married, updates his Twitter, Facebook, then kisses his new bride, new social interactions at work  (news.cnet.com)	(34)
		Prankster changes roommate's computer regular welcome sound to be explosions and gunshots, then turns up the volume and waits. With a camera, of course start filming  (techeblog.com)	(52)

		Not news: Debt collector sues the wrong person. Not news: The debt doesn't even exist. Fark: The judge is pissed, orders collector to pay missed wages to defendant under penalty of sanctions  (consumerist.com)	(350)
(Foreign Policy)		"Americans have come to believe that spending govt revenues on US citizens here at home is usually a bad thing and should be viewed wth suspicion, but spending billions on vast projects overseas is the hallmark of patriotism"  (walt.foreignpolicy.com)	(113)
(Florida Today)		Florida player gets a DUI the week before the SEC championship. Expected to be suspended for at least the entire coin toss  (floridatoday.com)	(58)
		Lab-grown artificial meat described as "Soggy Pork" by scientists determined to improve its texture, much to the chagrin of millions of Brits  (science.slashdot.org)	(50)

		Japanese scientists unveil safe pufferfish, despite objections of some fugu chefs. "It's obviously more than a little exciting to go to a restaurant knowing that it might be the last meal that you ever eat"  (upi.com)	(35)
		Austrian government moves to ban Santa Claus, saying he is a foreign invader who threatens the racial purity of traditional Christmas celebrations. Don't ever change, Austria  (telegraph.co.uk)	(134)

(Some Angry Atheist)		Atheists: "we're not a religion." Australia: "religions get free money." Atheists: "can we change our answer?"  (scienceblogs.com)	(263)
		Scientists admit that they dump...that the dog ate much of the raw temperature data on which their predictions of global warming are based  (timesonline.co.uk)	(382)
		Sam Raimi may have found the next sleeper hit like District 9, "Panic Attack." Because the world needs another shaky-cam movie about racial tensions in a second-rate country  (io9.com)	(51)
		People are tired of bailouts, big spending, unchecked corruption, and being told their values are politically incorrect. "Even with the best of intentions, government almost always does more harm than good."  (realclearpolitics.com)	(340)
(Some Guy)		The city of Las Vegas has 50,000 doses of H1N1 vaccine going to waste because they refuse to open up vaccinations to non-priority groups after priority groups have all been vaccinated  (lvrj.com)	(133)
		Canadian army commissions new uniforms so they can better fight in Canadian cities, although some don't see the point: "I have some trouble conceptualizing what a land war fought in Vancouver would be like. Relaxed, I guess"  (theglobeandmail.com)	(102)
		Bootstrappy red states mooch off Uncle Sam when it comes to food stamps, too...and shamlessly inflict millions of new god-bothering palinbots on the rest of us  (nytimes.com)	(345)
		Alicia Keys is ready to be a mother. However, she may want to rethink her current relationship, as it would be difficult to raise a family with a man known as "Swizz Beats."  (contactmusic.com)	(39)
(Some Guy)		Police are using Facebook to conduct under-aged drinking sting operations  (mddailyrecord.com)	(107)
(Some Guy)		White House "Party Crashers" had a five year relationship with Obama and were members of The American Task Force on Palestine (ATFP) radical group  (canadafreepress.com)	(127)

		The top 50 inventions of this year. No, your flying car still isn't on it  (time.com)	(59)
(Some Crazy Canuck)		Not only does Canada have great beer, maple syrup and health care for everyone, we also have a true national college football championship. Can we get some love for the Vanier Cup?  (vaniercup.ca)	(61)
		Tiger Woods alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel speaks: "There is NO relationship with Tiger."  (sportsbybrooks.com)	(44)

		If you're in the market to buy millions of pounds of dead carp, the state of Utah has one heck of a deal for you  (nytimes.com)	(52)
(Some Guy)		Developed nations come up with a plan to improve their climate change performance - throw Canada out of the club so its "appalling" environmental record isn't lumped in with theirs  (theecologist.org)	(119)
		Police baffled by a string of bizarre cattle mutilations in southern Colorado. Local chupacabras fear they'll be blamed  (news.yahoo.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		Supreme Court agrees that Wal-Mart has the right to close a store permanently if employees form a union, leaving Farkers who hate both Wal-Mart and unions equally unsure of who to get snippy with  (financialpost.com)	(206)
		Wal-Mart taking extra safety precautions this Black Friday to prevent unruly deal-deprived mobs from trampling themselves to death again. Obvious tag chuckles menacingly before shoving further up in line  (mercurynews.com)	(169)
		Green Bay has Cheeseheads that use foam immitations on their heads... The Grey Cup bound Saskatchewan Roughriders have forced all Watermelons in Western Canada to be diverted to Calgary this weekend  (cbc.ca)	(39)

		Stealing £315,000 from your quadruple amputee niece's trust fund to buy vacations and jewelry is no way to save your marriage  (dailymail.co.uk)	(74)
		Only one month in: Windows 7 passes Mac OS X(All Versions) in market share. No word on how many minutes it took to surpass the market share for Linux  (computerworld.com)	(214)
		Lions and turkeys and beers, oh my. It's your official Thanksgiving Day Football Thread  (cbssports.com)	(1232)
		As Thanksgiving as Detroit Lions football, a big crackling turkey with all the fixings, and cold turkey sandwiches at 10:00 PM, it's Arlo Guthrie singing "Alice's Restaurant"  (youtube.com)	(18)
		Matt Stafford wired for sound in last week's amazing Lions-Browns finish. This could be the beginning of an amazing career  (nfl.com)	(97)
(Dawn)		How a prank caller drove two nuclear-armed nations to the brink of war, made them check to see if their refrigerators were running  (dawn.com)	(30)

(Some Guy)		Danish media claim that swine flu is just another plot created by multinational corporations to contol people's minds, like 9/11 or Kentucky Fried Chicken  (russiatoday.com)	(39)
		Why you shouldn't make major decisions about a relationship while playing Scrabble™  (youtube.com)	(30)

(Washington Monthly)		CNN can keep the RNC's new Communications Director as an "analyst" because the RNC isn't paying him. Fark: the RNC isn't paying him because he's that deep in the insurance lobby's pocket  (washingtonmonthly.com)	(27)
		Navy SEALS capture alleged terrorist behind Fallujah killings and mutilations, promptly face charges because they gave him a fat lip when they captured him  (foxnews.com)	(485)
		Banks discover that consumers are reducing credit card use, turning to debit cards instead. Banks are so pleased that they invent new fees and restrictions to celebrate  (money.cnn.com)	(57)
		Democrats want to resurrect a government hiring program they used to help the economy in 1978. Remember how terrific the economy was in '78? And how well Democrats did in the '78 and '80 elections? You do? They apparently don't  (huffingtonpost.com)	(124)
		RCMP looking for millions in gold missing from Canada's mint have concluded that there was no theft involved, which leaves a relieved nation with only two alternate explanations: magic or gross incompetence  (canada.com)	(72)
		If you get lost while going out to get your morning paper, don't be like this guy -- ask for directions BEFORE you're 370 miles from home  (metro.co.uk)	(42)
(Some Gooooool)		Barca. Bayern Munich. Liverpool. 12 European Championships between them, and all facing elimination. It's your Champions League Matchday 5 thread  (uefa.com)	(117)
		Undercover teens shop to find stores selling M-rated games to 13-16 year olds. Game Stop scored highest with less than 10% infractions, while Sears let the rules slide for over 2/3 of the younger gamers  (signonsandiego.com)	(81)
		Browns coach Eric Mangini question the Lions injuries during Sunday's game. Browns fans question Mangini's coaching abilities during the entire season  (nytimes.com)	(47)

		Gov. Mark Sanford to face 37 charges of ethics violations. Perhaps now would be a good time for an unannounced hike in the mountains somewhere  (fe30.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com)	(104)
(Some Guy)		Amazon patents presents, just in time for holiday injunctions against competitors, Santa  (techflash.com)	(18)
		Paul McCartney is worried that if digitized versions of the Beatles' albums are created, they'll get leaked onto the internet  (gizmodo.com)	(46)
		Budget cuts, office closures, and staff reductions may mean that visits to the DMV won't provide the same joy-filled blissful escape from the everyday that they once did  (usatoday.com)	(111)
		Former Republican governor and HHS secretary: "If we could just get off our ideological partisan positions on the extremes, we could develop a bipartisan bill that could have fantastic support across the country"  (jsonline.com)	(294)
		China angrily warns the US that publicly talking about China's attempts to steal US military and industrial secrets could harm US-China relations  (news.yahoo.com)	(125)
		Real Salt Lake upsets David Beckham and LA Galaxy to win MLS Cup on penalty kicks. Utahans to celebrate state's first ever pro sports championship with gallons of Sprite and chocolate milk  (sltrib.com)	(63)

		Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper lauds press freedom in speech, then refuses to take questions from reporters covering the event  (theglobeandmail.com)	(44)
		Congratulations to the unnamed motorist who received Virginia's first $1,000 traffic ticket for his/her fourth HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane violation  (washingtonpost.com)	(213)
		It's the final race of the 2009 NASCAR season, and Jimmie Johnson looks to win his 4th straight championship, driving away countless NASCAR fans who hate him. It's the official Ford 400 discussion thread  (nascar.com)	(168)
		Brits up in arms over proposal to have their national health system provide counseling to couples whose marriages are on the rocks. Not like there's any link between relationship stability and health, after all  (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(50)