Headlines matching 'heart attacks'
Sun March 14, 2010
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Fatty Fatty Fatty McFatterson, woman who weighs over 600 lbs is trying to GAIN 400 lbs in the next two years to become fattest woman on the planet, or perhaps a planet herself (dlisted.com)
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Tue March 02, 2010
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Limbaugh compares Pelosi to a terrorist for saying passing health care is more important than re-election (thinkprogress.org)
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Having already successfully assumed the roles of Ziggy Stardust, The Thin White Duke, The Blue-eyed Soulman, and of course, the Goblin King, David Bowie seems to be trying out a new persona: Howard Hughes (news.yahoo.com)
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Rapper Guru makes the news by falling into a coma, prompting white hipsters everywhere to pretend they knew who he was all along (guardian.co.uk)
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Fri February 19, 2010
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You: "I think I'm having a heart attack. Please send an ambulance." 911 operator: "Will that be cash or credit?" (cbs13.com)
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Tue February 16, 2010
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Lamont announces run for governor. Fred fakes heart attack. Grady says "Great googly moogly." (msnbc.msn.com)
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Sun February 07, 2010
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Super Bowl stress can trigger heart attacks, so be careful ouWHAT THE FARK KINDA CALL WAS THAT, YOU STUPID SON OF A BIaaaerrrrrrrrk... *thud* (ajc.com)
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Thu February 04, 2010
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Spending time at high altitude causes healthy weight loss--unless you're fat (wired.com)
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Sun January 17, 2010
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Assault and robbery is no laughing matter. Except when the suspect is 52 and he grabs the 26-year-old victim's groin while taking his wallet. And then the victim fights back and the suspect passes out from a heart attack (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Former Tampa Bay Buc Gaines Adams, traded to Chicago Bears last October, dies of heart attack at 26. Should have gotten that warranty instead of just "as-is." (blogs.tampabay.com)
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Tue January 12, 2010
Mon January 11, 2010
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Study claims watching TV increases your risk of heart disease by 18 percent. If you're watching a reality TV show about global warming in Yemen while eating potato chips, you've already been dead for three years (timesonline.co.uk)
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Fri January 08, 2010
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Having sex twice a week reduces chance of heart attack by half - unless her husband walks in on you (telegraph.co.uk)
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Mon December 28, 2009
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Obamacare won't make a difference because Americans are too drunk, lazy, fat and stupid to stay out of the hospital to begin with (cnn.com)
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Sun December 27, 2009
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Swedish researchers conclude there is probably no Santa. Here comes the science (sciencedaily.com)
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Fri December 25, 2009
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Inventor spends Christmas with the perfect woman - his custom-made fembot: "Aiko is always helpful and never complains. She is the perfect woman to have around at Christmas" (w/ pics that will creep you the hell out) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue December 22, 2009
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Libertarians need to rethink support for drug legalization because some guy choked on a plastic bag or something about strippers (pajamasmedia.com)
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Mon December 21, 2009
Sun December 20, 2009
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Brittany Murphy, star of "Clueless" and "8 Mile," died last night after full cardiac arrest at 32 (tmz.com)
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Fri December 18, 2009
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Stem cell therapy repairs damaged heart tissue after heart attack. Stem cell opponents presumably to opt out (cnn.com)
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Sat December 12, 2009
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An 85-year old Israeli man recently went to a doctor for the first time in 65 years after having a heart attack. Which is understandable, when the last doctor you saw before that was Dr. Josef Mengele (spiegel.de)
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Tue December 08, 2009
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CDC says swine flu was less severe than everyone feared as evidenced by the fact that you're alive to read this headline right now (webmd.com)
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Sat December 05, 2009
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Man has heart attack in hospital parking lot. Hospital refuses to help unless his son calls 911 and pays for the ambulance trip (google.com)
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Fri December 04, 2009
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Umaga has a match with the Undertaker. Not that undertaker. The real one (tmz.com)
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Australian diver wears a suit to protect him from dangerous jellyfish stings that covered his entire body except his face. You'll never guess where a tiny jellyfish the size of a peanut delivered its near-fatal sting (news.yahoo.com)
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Sun November 29, 2009
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The city of Las Vegas has 50,000 doses of H1N1 vaccine going to waste because they refuse to open up vaccinations to non-priority groups after priority groups have all been vaccinated (lvrj.com)
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Wed November 25, 2009
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Studies show that men who stifle their anger at work are more than twice as likely to die of a heart attack; those that don't are more than twice as likely to die of malnutrition and exposure from living in a cardboard box (news.yahoo.com)
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Mon November 23, 2009
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Women with a spare tire are more likely to go all whargarbl as they age. As if heart disease, diabetes, and Farkers saying "She sounds fat" weren't bad enough (physorg.com)
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