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Headlines matching 'heart'
Wed May 23, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Wonkette) Scary 'Obama Not American' congressman's operating system crashes, repeats 'I misspoke and I apologize' like 20 times in a row  (wonkette.com) (74)


Mon May 21, 2012
(WCPO) Obvious Concluding yet another "Who would have thought that?" study, CDC discovers that overweight teens are most at risk for future heart related problems. Next on their list, do glasses help people see better?  (wcpo.com) (41)


Sun May 20, 2012
(io9) Weird Suit of meat armor offers +5 protection against vegetarians, -1 against Lady Gaga  (io9.com) (24)


Sat May 19, 2012
(Yahoo) Spiffy Lucky Luke: A man's implanted heart defibrillator may have saved his life in an unexpected way, by stopping a knife during an attack ack ack ack  (news.yahoo.com) (28)
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious The reason so many men these days aren't vegetarians is because Charles Bronson and John Wayne spent so much time eating bloody steaks and charred burgers while sitting around in bacon-stitched robes  (mnn.com) (110)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Denver Channel) Dumbass Is Obama an American? Colorado congressman says "not in his heart"  (thedenverchannel.com) (144)
(The New York Times) Scary Azithromycin may increase the likelihood of sudden death in adults, especially those who have heart issues. Hey, my dentist prescribes that for me, because of my heart operation. Seriously she does. THUD  (nytimes.com) (46)
(MLive.com) Sick For once, Arby's sandwich found to contain real meat  (mlive.com) (116)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine New pro-vegan children's book teaches that eating meat will destroy the Earth and everyone we love. Naturally, some experts have a problem with this  (kripalu.org) (377)


Thu May 10, 2012
(Fark) Advice Subby isn't sure if Fartbongo or Romomama has my best interest at heart. Bill O'Reilly sends me signals through the TV, so I think I have to marry Rachel Maddow. Wat do?  (fark.com) (123)


Tue May 08, 2012
(YouTube) Hero Today is the 45th anniversary of the Battle of Con Thien. This is where subby's father was awarded the Bronze Star, and the Purple Heart. "Whatever It Takes"  (youtube.com) (29)


Sun May 06, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad Al-Qaeda extremists destroy the grave of a Muslim saint in Timbuktu. In other news, Timbuktu is an actual place, Muslims apparently have saints, and Al-Qaeda really sucks at the whole "winning hearts and minds" thing  (news.yahoo.com) (100)
(Daily Express) Interesting Not news: Heart surgeons discover new information on the structure of the mitral valve. News: After reading an essay written by Leonardo da Vinci 500 years ago  (express.co.uk) (22)


Sat May 05, 2012
(Mirror.co.uk) Stupid Nanny state tells active five-year-old that she at risk of developing heart disease, cancer and diabetes because she is up to one stone heavier than she should be. With pictures of so-called fatty  (mirror.co.uk) (88)
(Cracked) Sad Han Solo: the Game: You and Chewbacca, running around the Outer Rim in the Falcon, smuggling, dog-fighting, breaking hearts -- all happening before the events in Star Wars... And 5 other great video games you'll never get to play  (cracked.com) (120)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Washington Post) Fail A perfect example of why the Heartland Institute is not called the Brainland Institute, and why they probably should have been named after their more Floridian organs  (washingtonpost.com) (132)
(Sun Sentinel) Dumbass Senator demands an investigation into "meat glue," something that was settled months ago  (sun-sentinel.com) (87)
(Yahoo) Cool Heart transplant patient may be the first person ever to see his own heart tissue beating outside his body-okay, OTHER THAN those who ran afoul of angry kung-fu masters or mystical Indian cults  (news.yahoo.com) (15)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Slactory) Sappy I was a teenage Meme: Heartwarming letters from Fat Emo Guy to the girl who counts to potato  (slacktory.com) (164)


Sat April 28, 2012
(www.news- press.com) Caturday "Walmart has its greeters, we have our cats". A heart-warming story of a tiny island community coming together to help homeless felines, just in time for Caturday  (news-press.com) (514)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Townhall) Obvious "Whether you've had some form of head trauma that has caused you to like Barack Obama or like all good hearted people, you can't stand him, his performance has objectively been terrible"  (townhall.com) (233)


Mon April 23, 2012
(AZCentral) Followup The Heart Attack Grill claims its second victim. Someone should open more of these, they are clearly helping chlorinate the gene pool  (azcentral.com) (83)
(TMZ) Followup "Prostate surgery... acute urinary retention... heart attack..." "Things that are serious, things that doctors oversee, THINGS THAT APPEAR ON DICK CLARK'S DEATH CERTIFICATE"  (tmz.com) (27)
(BBC) Video Winner of Best New Chef 2011 award is former vegetarian who learned how to cook animals nose-to-tail and is now devoted carnivore with all his heart, liver, and tongue  (bbc.co.uk) (18)


Sun April 22, 2012
(Cracked) Hero Six nobodies who turned into superheroes and blew dust in your eyes  (cracked.com) (51)


Sat April 21, 2012
(Huffington Post) Followup Andrew Breakheart  (huffingtonpost.com) (135)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Showbiz Spy) Sad In the most heartbreaking entertainment news you'll hear all day, John Cusack drops out of James Cameron's "Aquaman"  (showbizspy.com) (122)


Thu April 19, 2012
(MSNBC) Sick No proof bad gums cause heart disease, just don't breathe on me, okay?  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com) (28)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting After years of craving giant breasts, America's looking for more meat down below, if you know what I mean, and I think you do  (finance.yahoo.com) (136)
(Some Guy) Hero One month after being stretchered off a soccer field after his heart stopped beating for 78 minutes Fabrice Muamba walked out of hospital today  (football365.com) (47)
(Some Tetsuo) Obvious Sit down before reading, this is going to shock you to your core: Sources say script for Warner Bros Americanized live action 'Akira' movie is...brace yourself....not good  (totalfilm.com) (93)
(Discover) Interesting Two gorgeous spiral galaxies have dark secrets in their hearts  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (5)


Thu April 12, 2012
(New York Daily News) Dumbass Heartless creep zips six puppies into his suitcase and throws it in the garbage. Fortunately for the puppies, he seems to be about as intelligent as President Skroob when it comes to his luggage  (nydailynews.com) (60)
(WRCB-TV) Obvious Ron Paul is not planning on endorsing Mitt Romney anytime soon. And by anytime, we mean never. As in, "From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee. To the last, I will grapple with thee"  (wrcbtv.com) (81)


Tue April 10, 2012
(KJ Online) Cool If you were sad about seeing moderate Republican Olympia Snowe leave Congress, take heart in the fact that she might be replaced by an even fiestier moderate Republican with a moustache  (kjonline.com) (54)
(CBS News) Cool 7th Grader saves bus from crash after driver has heart attack. School to suspend him for driving without a license  (cbsnews.com) (46)
(Short List) Cool The hot dog stuffed crust pizza is about to complete your life  (shortlist.com) (86)
(Barrow Patch) Strange Man tells police woman used his bathroom then repaid the favor by helping herself to ham, pork chops and bacon from his refrigerator before leaving  (barrow.patch.com) (52)


Sun April 08, 2012
(Weheartit) Spiffy Weheartit.com is absorbed with FARK's headline about using SpongeBob techniques to avert a child drowning  (weheartit.com) (8)
(some worried dad) Sad Farker's daughter did not come home several nights ago. He is hoping that Farkers will have a heart and contact the police if they've seen her (thread updated 04/07/12)  (abc27.com) (1056)


Tue April 03, 2012
(New York Daily News) Unlikely GOP leaders rush to defend the "smear campaign" against pink slime because the stuff is completely safe and healthy, certainly not because of that $800K in donations they received from Beef Products, Inc  (nydailynews.com) (265)


Sun April 01, 2012
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail This season, Wrigley Field celebrates the 75th birthdays of its scoreboard and bleachers, and the 102nd year of consistent, continued heartbreak, failure, and crushed hopes  (suntimes.com) (38)
(WXYZ Detroit) PSA If you are one of the dozens of people who eat chicken apple sausage, you may want to look at the label, as a company is recalling 26,000 pounds of the disgusting product  (wxyz.com) (43)


Thu March 29, 2012
(Government Technology) Spiffy I♥.nyc  (govtech.com) (11)
(Metro) Spiffy Research shows boozing after a heart attack could help you live longer. Subby is ahead of the curve on this one  (metro.co.uk) (29)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Fark) FarkBlog Dick Cheney's heart plant surgery, Bob Uecker's statue juuust a bit outside of Miller Park, and a special report from Trevor McSmokingballs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/18 - 3/24  (fark.com) (10)


Mon March 26, 2012
(TMZ) Followup Gallagher suffers heart attack four days after being released from the hospital after suffering a heart attack. He'll head off to that great big champagne supernova in the sky any time now  (tmz.com) (77)
(Huffington Post) Sad Italian Olympic volleyballer, Vigor Bovolenta, dies after suffering heart attack on court during match in Italy's second tier professional volleyball league  (huffingtonpost.com) (22)


Sat March 24, 2012
(Washington Post) Unlikely Dick Cheney in recovery after heart plant surgery  (washingtonpost.com) (544)
(Wired) Cool Sixty-seven books every geek should read to their kids. I see that crappy one that's had a special place in your heart since childhood didn't make the cut though  (wired.com) (169)


Thu March 22, 2012
(The Local (Sweden)) Dumbass What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were they just born with a heart full of neutrality? I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me  (thelocal.se) (68)
(Daily Mail) Fail Parents leave their 9-year-old daughter and the-12-year-old son alone to fend for themselves while they go to Vegas. Thankfully the police have a problem with this  (dailymail.co.uk) (125)


Fri March 16, 2012
(USA Today) Followup Gallagher in medically-induced coma following heart attack; now knows what the audience experiences during an actual Gallagher performance  (content.usatoday.com) (53)


Thu March 15, 2012
(TMZ) Scary What's worse than a Gallagher set? His heart  (tmz.com) (79)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Foreign Policy) Fail Some things science can't answer - it's a matter of what's in your heart. And in his heart, Rick Santorum knows that Dutch people are forcibly euthanized  (blog.foreignpolicy.com) (64)


Sun March 11, 2012
(ESPN) Misc Moss to halfheartedly work out for 49ers  (espn.go.com) (32)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Rasmussen Reports) PSA Obama now leads Romney by four points in the swing states of Florida, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia. This is bad news... for Obama  (rasmussenreports.com) (203)
(Mirror.co.uk) Stupid Gerard Depardieu reveals friendship with Fidel Castro based on common fondness for eating. (w/ less than flattering pic)  (mirror.co.uk) (32)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Scary FDA: Your skin cream may remove freckles, blemishes, heartbeat  (mega949.com) (14)
(USA Today) Interesting New study shows that marriage can keep your heart healthier after surgery. Unless, you know, it's the marriage that put you there in the first place. Then you're pretty much screwed  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (10)
(USA Today) Obvious When Republican congressmen testify that they never supported green energy loans and never asked Secretary Chu to speed up their approval in their states, they mean never in their *hearts*, not in, like, reality or anything  (usatoday.com) (55)
(ESPN) Scary USC defensive tackle DaJohn Harris issues holehearted explanation for his non-participation in NFL rookie combine  (espn.go.com) (11)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Politico) Obvious Rush Limbaugh says his apology was 'heartfelt' because he should have never acted like a Democrat in the first place  (politico.com) (452)


Sun March 04, 2012
(YouTube) Hero Man spends $4000 a year to bring weekly coffee to cancer patients just to make their day a little brighter. The damn caffeine dust is getting in my eye again  (youtube.com) (21)


Fri March 02, 2012
(Examiner) Asinine TSA stepping up its war on liquids by having women empty their boobies before flying  (examiner.com) (173)
(AZCentral) Stupid Police cut straight to the heart of the Arizona criminal gambling empire when they raid elderly women's poker party and summon 98 yr old and 40 others to court  (azcentral.com) (40)


Thu March 01, 2012
(SacBee) Asinine 'Do we make everyone else happy or do we follow our hearts?" asks 41 year old teacher who leaves his wife and kids to move in with an 18 year old student  (sacbee.com) (246)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Engadget) Hero Have you finished making payments on your iPad 2? Good, because have we got something for you  (engadget.com) (151)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious Police in Alberta looking for rustlers. Cut throats, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, con men, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, bull dykes, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists disheartened  (torontosun.com) (79)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Have a heart, the banks are the real victims here  (bloomberg.com) (26)


Mon February 27, 2012
(WPTV) Florida If you forgot that one ingredient at the grocery store that's going to make your dish pop, don't leave your two children at home and alone for over an hour while you're boiling meat on the stove  (wptv.com) (52)
(PennLive) Amusing Dog causes crash that sets truck full of meat on fire. Your dog told you he wanted steak  (pennlive.com) (19)


Thu February 23, 2012
(UPI) Amusing "She is survived by her Son, 'A.J.', who loved and cared for her; Daughter 'Ninfa,' who betrayed her trust, and Son 'Peter,' who broke her heart  (upi.com) (54)


Wed February 22, 2012
(WTSP) Florida And a hearty congratulations to Stephen Brewster of Sarasota, who is happily celebrating his 40th anniversary. What's that? Oh, I'm sorry. His 40th arrest  (wtsp.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Sad Foreign investors learn the hard way what Michigan folks know already: investing in Detroit real estate isn't for the faint of heart  (detroitnews.com) (24)
(YouTube) Amusing Little Green Footballs hears about Heartland threatening to sue them over illegally obtained info. (Yeah, Downfall parody)  (youtube.com) (21)


Tue February 21, 2012
(Discovery) Interesting New research suggests that human beings are not 'nasty' by nature, though scientists who have ever been on the Internet disagree  (news.discovery.com) (77)
(We Heart It) Spiffy We Heart It thinks that FARK's witty headline about a shopping cart accident hits a bullseye  (weheartit.com) (3)
(Slate) Interesting The high art of desktop cooking, or, how to get a decent meal when your heartless boss won't let you have a lunch break  (slate.com) (108)
(Boing Boing) Followup Climate scientist lied to obtain Heartland documents, so global warming is false and Sarah Palin is automatically President  (boingboing.net) (309)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing Yo dawg, I herd you like firefighters. So why don't you take the firefighter test and have a heart attack so you can be rescued by firefighters so you can pretend to be a firefighter while getting rescued by firefighters  (suntimes.com) (27)


Wed February 15, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious What part of Heart Attack Grill did he not understand?  (fox5vegas.com) (161)


Tue February 14, 2012
(Yahoo) Amusing The guy in the background of this Olympic swimmer's heartfelt proposal video just steals the show  (sports.yahoo.com) (51)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Fox News) Scary There are many layers to the OWS onion, and each one is more difficult than the last to peel back. But it's starting to look like there is a single, rotten core at the dark center of this movement, and that core's name is ... ACORN  (foxnews.com) (279)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Humans Invent) Cool Only 30 artisanal swordmakers remain in Japan, but artisanal they certainly are, trying to forge more obscure swords than the katana  (humansinvent.com) (104)


Thu February 09, 2012
(The New York Times) Scary So can a Jehovah's Witness institution deny coverage for blood transfusions? Can a Hindu organization deny bovine based insulin? Can a Jewish or Muslim group deny porcine heart valves?   (opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com) (466)
(The Sun) Sad Drilled through the heart, and you're to blame. You give mayonnaise tubs a bad name  (thesun.co.uk) (37)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Someone at The American Spectator has finally started asking the right questions  (spectator.org) (81)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons  (orlandosentinel.com) (25)
(We Heart It) Spiffy We Heart It loves everything about FARK's big Jane Russell headline  (weheartit.com) (0)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Palm Beach Post) Florida You know your ex is a committed stalker if he wants to win back your heart by kidnapping you using a plan that's so detailed it's 23 pages long, has maps and photos and even a code name: "Operation Stitches"  (palmbeachpost.com) (124)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Clarion Ledger) Amusing Boy wears "I Heart Boobies" t-shirt to skate party. Then things get weird  (clarionledger.com) (193)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Buzzfeed) Dumbass Mitt Romney: We are the only people who put their hand over our hearts during the national anthem. In other news, Chinese, South Africans, Brazilians, Ghanaians, Cubans, Mexicans, and Peruvians aren't people  (buzzfeed.com) (159)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing You can tell Valentine's Day is near, because the media has produced the first "ZOMG, PERVERTED CANDY HEARTS" story of the season  (kcra.com) (44)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Daily Mail) Hero Dad hangs on to his son who was clinging for his dear life after slipping from a chairlift, finally dropping him 25ft to rescuers below  (dailymail.co.uk) (119)


Tue January 31, 2012
(NPR) Spiffy 68, 69, 70, 71; 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73; 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75  (npr.org) (49)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Not news: Super Bowl stadiums. Fark: made of meat  (blogs.westword.com) (16)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Fox News) Interesting New analysis of data from the summer of 2003 in NYC shows rise in deaths were attributed to blackout, not customer heart attacks after receiving Con Ed bills  (foxnews.com) (5)

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