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154 headlines found matching 'fat'
Tue October 21, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man fatally shot in Echo Park... atally shot in echo park... echo park ark ark
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Sun October 19, 2014
(IGN)
 
 
 
After the events of No Sanctuary, Rick and his group must restock their supplies and move on. Will they find Beth? Who is Father Gabriel? Find out tonight at 9PM ET on AMC. It's your official Walking Dead discussion thread
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(448)
 


Thu October 16, 2014
(BBC)
 
 
 
Re-heated pasta is less fattening than fresh pasta. Here comes the science
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 


Wed October 15, 2014
(AOL)
 
 
 
Here are your two pizzas, pink fat lady and thank you ordering from Pizza Hut
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 


Tue October 14, 2014
(The Blemish)
 
 
 
Inside every fat man is a thin man trying to claw their way out. Thin Zach Galifianakis finally clawed his way out
source: theblemish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Don't worry everyone, we've found the real reason why the United States was so unprepared for the Ebola outbreak: Fat lesbians
source: fortressamerica.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 


Sun October 12, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
The Milky Way has 200 billion stars. Here's a clickable graphic to try and help you get your mind around that unfathomable number
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The simple answer? Michelle Obama dared to endanger food companies' bottom lines by saying kids shouldn't be fatties
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 


Thu October 09, 2014
(CBC)
 
 
 
After another major derailment, Canadian train companies are on board with new rules to address extreme fatigue in engineers and by "on board" we mean "strongly oppose"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Wed October 08, 2014
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
The new face scanning feature in NBA 2K15 let you imagine what the NBA would be like in a hellish alternate universe populated by abominations the mortal mind cannot fathom
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Tue October 07, 2014
(Salon)
 
 
 
Tea Partier leading the Iowa senate race may have steered hundreds of thousands of dollars in government contracts to her father's company while she was in office. October? Surprise
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
NC pastor, who previously told father to punch their sons if they saw them "dropping their wrist" takes the occasion of Jimmy Carter's 90th birthday to opine that the former president is heading straight to hell for saying that "Jesus loves everyone"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
A new tape surfaces of Stephen Collins, best known for playing the pastor/father on 7th Heaven, admitting to child molestation
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 


Mon October 06, 2014
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Balloon stolen at Albuquerque balloon fest. Authorities ask people be on the lookout for a fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril, or a girl named Zelda
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 


Sun October 05, 2014
(Fox News)
 
 
 
For the third time this week, NYPD officer fatally shoots Knife-Wielding Man
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
American eats 15 pounds of poutine to win the World Poutine Eating Championship, says the fat build-up will help with his upcoming winter hibernation
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Sat October 04, 2014
(The Republic)
 
 
 
Woman who got stiffed when her father died digs up the body to search for his "real will," but only finds a pack of cigarettes in his hand. No word on whether she smoked them
source: therepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Fri October 03, 2014
(Cracked)
 
 
 
The lights in your bedroom are making you fat
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Thu October 02, 2014
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Totally ignoring the whole set of arguments contained within the Federalist Papers as well as established law in the Treaty of 1812, Scalia doubles down on theocracy as the preferred government model of our founding fathers
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I used to be really, really fat. But then I had gastric bypass surgery and shed that other person's skin like I was a python. Anywho, I met this guy, we're doing well, but I feel ashamed to tell him I was fat. What should I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 


Wed October 01, 2014
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
While the rank-and-file of Best Korea starve, Glorious Leader Kim Jong-un 'so fat he has fractured his ankles'
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Van Der Sloot: convicted murderer, alleged extortionist, suspected rapist, accomplice to fatherhood
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Tue September 30, 2014
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Following in the footsteps of his father Raider's owner Mark Davis fires his coach after 4 weeks. Fark: Over the phone
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Fri September 26, 2014
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Bear wandering aimlessly around Vancouver neighborhood described at "fat and lazy," answers to the name "Luongo"
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 


Thu September 25, 2014
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"My sister is pregnant and we don't know which of my brothers is the father"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Influential Muslim Sheik issues a Fatwa against ISIS
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 


Wed September 24, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Finally, you can agree with your Republican father about something: "Fark you, Kennedy"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
39-year-old woman fatally runs over man in middle school parking lot, appears to have been a meth teacher
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Fat guys found to earn 20 percent less at their jobs than co-workers who don't sweat when they eat
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Tue September 23, 2014
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
For 300 years, the house sat there patiently. Until that fateful night, when the family decided to go out to dinner
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Mon September 22, 2014
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Physicists have used a quantum connection Albert Einstein called "spooky action at a distance" to link 500,000 atoms together in a new state of matter in which all the atoms' fates were entwined
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
Argument over puppy escalates into a stepfather-stepson sword duel, except only the son knew they were dueling
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Sat September 20, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Honey Boo Boo's father drowns his sorrow at being caught cheating on Mama June. Drowns it in torrent of McDonald's food, that is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Fri September 19, 2014
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Children with incarcerated fathers found to be more likely to be held back a grade, presumably because their family is used to being kept in small rooms all day and being told what to do
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Back in the day when a father caught their son smoking cigarettes they would force them to smoke the whole pack to teach them a lesson. Apparently that is frowned upon now, especially if it's vodka instead of cigarettes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
2014 Ig Nobel Prizes in weird science revealed: Bacon-stuffed nostrils, polar bear costumes & the science of dog doo
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(4)
 


Thu September 18, 2014
(The Local)
 
 
 
Father of mass murderer Anders Breivik wrote book about how extreme and dangerous his son is. Gee, thanks for the warning
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Brooklyn Daily)
 
 
 
"Godfather of nerdcore rap" comes up with astoundingly original idea for new LP: what would happen if we merged obscure fairy tales with rap? "There are some other stories that my English-speaking, Western audience might not have caught wind of"
source: brooklyndaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Tue September 16, 2014
(KEPR TV Pasco)
 
 
 
Funeral home in Michigan to offer a drive through mourning window, for when you want to pay your respects, but you're too fat and lazy to get out of the car
source: keprtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 


Sat September 13, 2014
(Gladstone Observer (Australia))
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by the U.S., Australian social services go all out using "shields, helmets, assault rifles, the mother and father taken from their beds, shaken from their beds, handcuffed naked, children marched out at gunpoint"
source: gladstoneobserver.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 


Thu September 11, 2014
(WWE)
 
 
 
LIVE Tonight WWE NXT: THE TAKE-OVERING 4 Man Fatal Fourway for the Title. Bayley is gonna hug Charlotte Kenta All at 8PM Eastern/5PM Pacific
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Quantum mechanics saves grandfathers from time travelers. Quantum mechanics...is there anything it can't fix?
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Michael Moore expresses disappointment with Obama, predicts he'll only be known as the 1st black president. When you've lost the fat, old n' busted 'working class' millionaires
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
New Texas history textbooks teach that Moses was a Founding Father, segregation wasn't all bad, affirmative action applies to Martians, and that society has not visibly improved since the Great Depression
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 


Wed September 10, 2014
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Councilman wants city council prayers "directed to the same God addressed in the Founding Fathers' signatory documents that established this nation." So "Nature's God," it is
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
World's fattest cat starts crash diet to reduce its weight from 23 pounds to something less grotesque (pics)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 


Mon September 08, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you're a self-proclaimed foodie who regularly attends food festivals, you are a bad person and should feel bad. And fat. And drunk
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
How I married your father
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"An elderly church deacon driving to Sunday Mass with a plaque on her windshield that said, 'God is my co-pilot,' fatally struck a homeless man in Brooklyn"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Sun September 07, 2014
(Reuters)
 
 
 
U.S. obesity rate now at an historic high. Yes, even our statistics are getting fatter
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Good: Father aspires to teach his daughter what he calls "good habits and culture." Not so good: By trying to hire someone to kill his estranged wife and her boyfriend
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Sat September 06, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Americans are eating more butter than at any time in history. Evidence is still sketchy, but scientists believe it's because Americans are fatter than any time in history
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
From MST3K season four, it's the classic, dreary Manos: The Hands of Fate. Spend some quality time with Joel, Servo, and Crow as they tackle this tale of a lost family, The Master, and, of course, Torgo. "Been hittin' the Thighmaster, Torgo?"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Thu September 04, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
"There's no delicate way to put it: I am a fat man. I know that pants are designed to be worn around my navel, but this is the thickest part of my body. Even with a belt, my pants fall down. How should fat guys wear their pants?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Action movies make you fat. DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Wed September 03, 2014
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Not news: Man ordered to pay child support. Fark: for the child he fathered as the victim of statutory rape when he was 14 years old and the mother was 20
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(260)
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Time travel simulation resolves 'grandfather paradox,' makes 99 percent of Back To The Future fan fiction even more irrelevant
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Tue September 02, 2014
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Remember the bus-sized London "fatberg" from last year? It has a new big brother, the size of a 747
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Johns Hopkins students invent a way to stop fatal bleeding on the battlefield. Still no cure for stopping the financial bleeding when the yearly tuition bill rolls in
source: articles.baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 


Sun August 31, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Move over, thyroid problem. There's a new excuse for being fat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 


Sat August 30, 2014
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Cricket star spared from driving ban due to hardship since he needs to drive a fish & chips van around Northern Ireland for a TV show. Apparently they think driving a cooking fat powered fish & chips van around Northern Ireland is punishment enough
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 


Fri August 29, 2014
(TMZ)
 
 
 
The person who bought the sex tape that showed Britney Spears' boyfriend cheating on her? Yeah, it was Britney's father
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Thu August 28, 2014
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Woman dies at Burning Man after being run over by a large "art car." Surprisingly enough, for a festival that features people playing with fire and takes place in a desert, it is the first fatality in the festival's 28-year history
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Herald Online)
 
 
 
"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy...""HE'S GOING TO GO ALL. THE. WAY...TOUCHDOWN"
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Life.com)
 
 
 
My grandfather went to war, fought at Normandy and helped liberate Paris, and all I got was a box full of early photographs of Hitler. Wait. What?
source: life.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl shot in back with arrow, removes it herself and suffers no serious injuries. Father, wearing horn-rimmed glasses, has no comment
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 


Wed August 27, 2014
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Texas father charged with murdering the drunk driver who killed his two young sons. Verdict: The driver must have crashed into the bullet that killed him
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(423)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Happy birthday to the world's oldest wombat, Fat Pat from Ballarat, or as the wallabies call him, "The 29 Year Old Virgin"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 


Mon August 25, 2014
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Living in the city makes you bigger and fatter, just ask the spiders
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 


Sun August 24, 2014
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mexico restricts junk food ads during children's programming after parents complain that their kids were getting too fat to outrun U.S. border guards
source: just-food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Sat August 23, 2014
(YouTube)
 
 
 
From MST3K season 3, it's Earth vs the Spider with bonus short Using Your Voice. Joel, Servo, and Crow rip this Bert I Gordon monster mess to shreds. "I'll just stay here and bark out belligerent, fat-assed orders"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 


Fri August 22, 2014
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
2.2 million bean bag chairs recalled over shocking .00009% fatality rate
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 


Tue August 19, 2014
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
Doctor Who series 8 episode titles and synopses revealed. Mummies, bank heists, the Orient Express, Robin Hood and complaining about how Moffat has ruined everything await
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(WMTW Portland)
 
 
 
"Honey, does this embalming fluid make my corpse look fat?"
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
(deepest voice) "Hello, Alex? This is Tucker's father. Tucker won't be marrying you on Saturday because he's just killed himself. Why yes I do sound a lot like me, I mean, my son but now I must hang up"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
New mode on the 2015 Corvette perfect for teens that want to borrow their father's car and play hooky without worrying about unscrupulous valets taking it for a joy ride
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rick Scott's campaign decides that an ad where he gets the endorsement of a convicted human trafficker may send the wrong message. *sigh* This never would've happened with his father, Randolph Scott. ♫Raaaandooolph Scooooott♫
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Mon August 18, 2014
(Global Geopolitics)
 
 
 
In other news, the 'Caliphate' now wants Spain back, too. "And I declare: Spain is the land of our forefathers and we are going to take it back with the power of Allah"
source: glblgeopolitics.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Because Sylvester Stallone can't fathom why his third foray into The Expendables would fail and bomb harshly at the box office, he's blaming movie pirates
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two girls received $47k in benefits after their father goes missing and is declared dead in 1994. 20-years later he is found alive. SSA: Uh about that money, we want it back
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 


Sun August 17, 2014
(The Motley Fool)
 
 
 
How Burger King's low-fat Satisfries turned into the company's saddest fries
source: fool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Steven Moffat is giving Doctor Who fans the best Christmas present of them all: getting rid of Clara once and for all
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 


Wed August 13, 2014
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"The Family Guy episode 'Fatman and Robin,' about Robin Williams featuring a failed suicide attempt, was airing in Britain at almost exactly the time his death was announced"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Zelda Williams leaves Instagram and Twitter because of the amount of troll attacks over her father's death
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 


Tue August 12, 2014
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Fatal shooting of unarmed teen Michael Brown in St. Louis leads to a) community meetings with Metropolitan Police Department to solve crisis, b) spontaneous candlelight vigils for peace, love and understanding, c) 50 percent gun sale increase
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(451)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Government workers are fat, lazy bums that abuse work from home allowances, therefore Marissa Mayer is a genius and there's a penguin in your telly
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Mon August 11, 2014
(WPTZ Burlington)
 
 
 
Bad: You roll your car. Worse: You are promptly arrested for DUI. FARK: Your father and brother show up to help and THEY are arrested for DUI
source: wptz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"That's my boy," said father after his son: A) Hit his first home run, B) Was accepted to Harvard, or C) Held aloft a severed human head
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Sun August 10, 2014
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
A junior at Northwestern University tries to make the football team as a defensive end despite being: a) 32 years old, b) a married father of three, c) an active duty Navy SEAL, d) all of the above
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Den of Geek (US))
 
 
 
Steven Moffat on celebrating the ten-year anniversary of Doctor Who's return: "We've only just done the 50th. After doing a huge fuss over 50 years of Doctor Who....I think it's time to aim forward. We're not planning that. Unless I'm lying"
source: denofgeek.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Sat August 09, 2014
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Father of PGP encryption states the obvious: The corporations giving you "free" services are gleefully in bed with every government on Earth
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Kevin Durant's decision to withdraw from Team USA is because of fatigue, and is absolutely in no way at all due to OkC looking at Paul George's horrific leg injury and saying "Yeah, you're pulling out of that shiat"
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Court rules offshore drilling industry can no longer refuse to hire fat guys
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Father teaches sons lessons about reality of war by a) asking them to read books about the world wars, b) watching war documentaries together with them, c) taking them on a trip to the Israel and Palestine warzone
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Fri August 08, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
Ten reasons President Obama won't go full George W. Bush on Iraq. Missing from the list: he doesn't have a family vendetta against the leadership and won't try to finish what his father started
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
McDonald's starts trial delivery service for customers presumably too fat to get out of their houses without cutting out a wall
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 


Thu August 07, 2014
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Predictably, since Cannabis legalization, Colorado highway fatalities have soared. Wait...what? They haven't and are near historic lows? I just don't which propaganja to believe anymore
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Entrepreneur)
 
 
 
Fatburger tosses the buns goes all-meat with new.... MOTHER OF GOD those buns look delicious
source: entrepreneur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Wed August 06, 2014
(Joystiq)
 
 
 
World of Warcraft down to 6.8 million subscribers, which explains why I see fewer pasty, red-eyed fat guys wearing wrist guards and Depends tweaking out on Tuesday mornings
source: wow.joystiq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sad: Your mom dies. Sadder: Something about her just doesn't look right at the funeral. FARK: The funeral home buried the wrong woman next to your father
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Tue August 05, 2014
(Salon)
 
 
 
The terrifying ordeal of an ordinary father traveling with his daughter
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Mon August 04, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Fatima Noor risks her life day in and day out in Pakistan, going door-to-door to ensure that as many of the nation's children as possible receive live-saving vaccinations
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 


Sun August 03, 2014
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Another reason to lose weight: "The more a man's fattening belly grows outward, 'the more it eats their penis.'" Subby hasn't seen his own penis in five years, but he's got a really confused boner right now
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 


Sat August 02, 2014
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Geraldo Rivera arrested for fatal hit & run in Tampa. Charges for reckless reporting still pending
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 


Fri August 01, 2014
(io9)
 
 
 
Father builds son a Apollo 13 simulator with LED readouts, rumble speaker, and a robot arm deploying satellites; USS Flagg sits in large corner as recovery ship
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(YardBarker)
 
 
 
No, I am your father, fella
source: network.yardbarker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 


Thu July 31, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Father of the year candidate takes his son to the zoo and records it for memories as he lets him climb over a safety barrier to pet a tiger. Since this is Fark you know what happened next
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
"If you look closely at Obama's birth certificate, you can see someone erased 'Malcolm X' before writing in the *real* father's name"
source: wnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(News West 9)
 
 
 
George W. Bush to write book about his father. Tentative titles include "50 shades of no new taxes", "Curious George and the Japanese Prime Minister's Lap" and "In the Shadow of Alzheimer's"
source: newswest9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 


Wed July 30, 2014
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Red Robin unveils 'Monster' burger, which when combined with a 'Monster' shake and endless fries, comes in at 3540 calories, 69 grams of saturated fat, and 6280 mg of sodium. One of your arteries just closed off from reading this headline
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 


Sun July 27, 2014
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Father of the year candidate doesn't notice when his 3-year-old son wandered out of the house ending up 10 blocks away at 2:30 in the morning and refused to open the door to police or pick up his son from the police department
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
"No Irish Drunks" sign removed from bar after protest. To be replaced with "No Fat Americans"
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 


Sat July 26, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: Our 7 year-old daughter regularly goes to sleep over at her friend's house. On a routine Google search, I learned the girl's father was a sex offender; he says he was 18 and had a 14 year-old girlfriend. What should I do?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Big Brother contestant learns his grandfather died. This is not a repeat from two days ago
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Thu July 24, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, fatties: There's a newly discovered virus that you can blame your obesity and diabetes on. And it's even got "ass" in its name
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Sun-Sentinel's Question of the Day: Should being fat automatically be a get out of jail free card?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Big Brother contestant learns his grandfather died despite the old man's final wishes not to tell him. He probably died from the shame of knowing his grandson was on Big Brother
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 


Wed July 23, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Father and son 'round the world' flight ends in tragedy as their plane goes down after leaving Pago Pago in American Samoa. The son was going for a "youngest pilot" record
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
U.S. kids may have finally stopped getting fatter. Either that or they are just taking a breather between courses
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Tue July 22, 2014
(Politico)
 
 
 
Unlike Obama, Rand Paul doesn't want his kids to work for minimum wage. He'd wants them to get ahead the old fashioned way: by exploiting their father's political connections or forming their own certification boards to approve their credentials
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 


Mon July 21, 2014
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
KY man headed back to prison for fatal stabbing after state Supreme Court rules that "stand your ground" law doesn't apply if the ground you are standing is a strip club parking lot you voluntarily walked out into to start a fight
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Sat July 19, 2014
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Rory McIlroy's father and some of his friends have 200,000 reasons to be cheering for his son tomorrow as a 10 year old bet he made is about to pay off
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Fri July 18, 2014
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
Father catches a man molesting his son and his mugshot looks exactly like you'd expect
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 


Wed July 16, 2014
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Father of the year candidate spends time with his son by smoking synthetic marijuana from a potato bong while undressed in a hot car
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Crain's New York)
 
 
 
The NYC teachers union gave a DeBlasio-linked charity $350,000 just before they got their fat new contract. But the two are in no way related
source: crainsnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 


Tue July 15, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists working on device that fits over your plate, measures the calories of your meal, and then orders you to STEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE, FATTY
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Mon July 14, 2014
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Ten brands that will disappear in 2015. Some spoilers: TV will suck more, things may no longer plump when cooked, time to sell those virtual turnips, DUH, and beware the wrath of fat girls in yoga pants
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 


Sat July 12, 2014
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
If you take your car airborne 100 times and there is a 1% chance each time of a fatal wreck, what are the odds your cell will have a south facing window?
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Fri July 11, 2014
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Things to do to keep your heart healthy: ☑ Eat salmon for Omega-3 fatty acids, ☑ Add almonds and walnuts to your diet, ☑ 30 minutes of light-to-moderate exercise a day, ☐ Drink less alcohol (dammit)
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Thu July 10, 2014
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Argument in Tombstone leads to fatal shooting. This is not a repeat from 1881
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fat woman wears bikini, world doesn't end. Some bystanders did report a brief eclipse, though
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 


Tue July 08, 2014
(WYTV Youngstown)
 
 
 
Father threatens to behead daughter with sword after disagreement over what TV show to watch. Subby never got all the hype for Game of Thrones
source: wytv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
North Carolina eleven year-old gets into an argument with his grandfather at their mobile home, then gets a loaded shotgun and puts an end to the discussion
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Made for Fark headline: "Woman who could flip her butt implants speaks out against botched plastic surgery," with horrifying butt implant flipping video (maybe not safe for work, possibly fatal to the squeamish)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 


Sat July 05, 2014
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Not news: Family of Yankee fans has a father named Casey, brothers named Mickey, Roger and Andy. News: Children named Jeter, Yogi and Maris
source: wapc.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Fri July 04, 2014
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
You could spend the Fourth trying to impress your friends by quoting the Founding Fathers. Or you could just play it safe and attribute everything to Rand Paul
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 


Thu July 03, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"We expect sewers to get blocked with fats or baby wipes, but not tennis ball. How on earth people managed to flush quite so many tennis balls I don't know, but this is just one example of amazing things we find blocking the sewers"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"Growing rates of obesity in pets have led to the emergence of fat farms offering 'pawlates,' 'doga' and 'Barko Polo,' doggie versions of Pilates, yoga and Marco Polo to help slim down man's best friend." Your dog just wants steak
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's a little known fact that on the nation's first Fourth of July our Founding Fathers gathered together in celebration and raised in hearty cheer mugs filled with cucumber dill fizz
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Wed July 02, 2014
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Rick Santorum doesn't think that it was a bad idea that the founding fathers limited who could vote to white male land owners
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
Father of the year leaves loaded gun with his 11 year old daughter so she can protect herself while he goes out to get "In God I Trust" tattooed on his head
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 


Mon June 30, 2014
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
News: Someone thinks Lionel Messi is playing "weak". Fark: It's his grandfather
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Sun June 29, 2014
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Detroit Basement Boy abused by father
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Detroit Basement Boy not abused by father
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Fri June 27, 2014
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"I am Calquan from the Planet Zoltron, sent here by my father to smash police cruisers"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 


Thu June 26, 2014
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Nancy Grace informs the father of a missing boy that his son had been found in his basement on the air. His response is epically awkward (with video of what an epically awkward response might look like)
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Musical about the Clintons comes to New York. Theater goers reminded that it isn't over until the fat lady gets on her knees
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Hospitals are now collecting detailed consumer data on their patients so they can tell you to put down that ice cream sundae, fatty. And, yes, the article explains hospitals are during this directly because of Obamacare
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(FIFA)
 
 
 
I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. USA and Group G at noon with Group H and the end of the group stage at 4pm on fateful Day 15 of the World Cup
source: fifa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1783)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Remember the story about that father who "forgot" his beloved son in a hot SUV? Turns out he also forgot to delete the browser history after his online research on how long it would take an animal to die if it were trapped in a hot car
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(447)
 


Wed June 25, 2014
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Father and son share quality time together - walking their dog along the river, getting covered in bees, going to the intensive care unit
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 


Tue June 24, 2014
(Metro)
 
 
 
Introduction of new US triple-zero dress sizes makes fat chicks angry, hungry
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 


Mon June 23, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Prince Jackson wants to follow in his father's footsteps. Isn't he pale enough already?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
According to new study by university ethicists and pediatricians, you do not need to know that your wife is a total slut and the poolboy is the father of your child
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(408)
 

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