Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Hitler finds out that he will not get to meet Sandra Bullock at the German premiere of Blindside (profanity in text)  (youtube.com)	(29)

		Demi Moore and that ugly chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding save one of their Twitter followers from committing suicide. Dammit, the last thing those two need is a fanbase  (contactmusic.com)	(34)
(Minnesota Independent)		Michele Bachmann on health-care vote: "They are going to profane the Sabbath." Yes, I'm sure Jesus is really upset about trying to help the poor and sick  (minnesotaindependent.com)	(360)

		Never before has such a polarizing, confusing question been asked: "Which science fiction franchise's fans can offer the best sex advice?" Difficulty: not a trick question  (io9.com)	(53)
		Liam Gallagher blasts U2, Coldplay, and their non-existent fans. The non-existent fans that have made both artists some of the top-selling musicians of all time  (gigwise.com)	(39)

		Robert Pattinson, humanity at large baffled by fan gifts  (contactmusic.com)	(25)
		Conan fanboys: "the ratings were good enough... He'll be a star on Fox". Fox Affiliates: "Conan? No thanks, we'd rather run reruns of other shows, like The Office. Yes, the crappy US version"  (tmz.com)	(68)
(Auburn Journal)		12-year old diabetic NASCAR fan needs the Power Of FARK to win Toyota's racecar design contest. Because Kyle Busch is driving, and diabetics are used to pricks  (auburnjournal.com)	(36)

Worst-Case scenario for West Virginia: "Always restrained, WVU fans respond by throwing coins, whiskey flasks and small auto parts at the officials. Huggins rages like King Lear. After five technical fouls, they lose by two."  (sports.espn.go.com)

(41)

(Some Artist)		Jack Kirby's estate is suing Marvel Comics. Again. This time, for rights to all his creations, including Nick Fury and the Fantastic Four  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(57)
(Some Adult Fan)		This must be the year for great, unexpected reunions; Teenage Fanclub is now joining in on the fun  (spinner.com)	(17)

Fark gets a warm reception from The Seattle Times for its headline about Snuggie-wearing Cavaliers fans  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

(0)

		Emergence of the "Tea Party" dismays evangelical leaders who say whipping gullible, none-too-bright fanatics into a frenzy over non-existent problems is THEIR job  (news.yahoo.com)	(169)
(Green Bay Packers)		Überfan sells own blood so he can afford Packers tickets, unwittingly saving his own life in the process  (packers.com)	(24)
		Special Olympian swishes one from full court, suck it politicians and Bulls fans  (youtube.com)	(64)

		Joaquin Phoenix's representative denies the star will play Edgar Allen Poe. Nevermore have fans wanted a project like this to happen  (contactmusic.com)	(14)
		After seeing Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart portray them in Runaways, Joan Jett and Cherie Currie are planning a Runaways reunion, to show the kids how the real pros do it  (contactmusic.com)	(30)

		In a blow to tentacle porn fans everywhere, pretty or not, octopuses just don't have good personalities  (newscientist.com)	(28)
		MLS players vote 350-2 to strike before the start of the season. Dozens of US soccer fans inconsolable  (kansascity.com)	(68)
(Some Jessica)		Proving that they can still play better than all these young whippersnappers with fancy electronics and flashy costumes, The Allman Brothers rock out to a sold-out audience for over three hours  (spinner.com)	(34)
		Kristen Stewart & Dakota Fanning in 40 years  (starpulse.com)	(50)

		Kristen Stewart was banned from "groping" Dakota Fanning when they made out for their upcoming Runaways movie. There's not a lot left to say  (starpulse.com)	(97)
		So, now we have Night of the Living Trekkies, which is about zombified Star Trek fans. Well, I think the zombie shark has officially been jumped  (io9.com)	(36)
(Spin)		Insane Clown Posse: our fans are "grown retards"  (spin.com)	(103)

		That unusually brusque press release issued by the L.A. Clippers upon firing Mike Dunleavy was meant to "comfort unhappy fans." Bonus - writer actually uses the term "Clipper Nation"  (sports.espn.go.com)	(15)
		Comic books fans order a ton of graphic novels Amazon.com accidentally lowered in price; are outraged when Amazon cancels their order and gives them a $25 gift card. Amazon forgets that there is no outrage like nerd outrage  (consumerist.com)	(64)
		Derek Anderson, former quarterback of the Cleveland Browns, says Browns fans are "ruthless and don't deserve a winner." Yeah, it's safe to say he remembers Clevelanders cheering when he tore a knee ligament  (content.usatoday.com)	(118)

		Cherish that marlin, for it may be your last: Obama administration is no fan of recreational sport fishing or the clearly unenlightened brutes who engage in it  (sports.espn.go.com)	(69)
(Some Mad Bassist)		In a desperate bid to get some attendance at his forthcoming show, Peter Hook reveals he will show previously unseen Joy Division footage. Any true New Order and Joy Division fan would tell him to f*ck off, the egotistical bastard  (nme.com)	(11)
		UConn women win record 71st consecutive game. All three women's basketball fans suitably impressed  (courant.com)	(54)
		Denying tax breaks to films that "exhibit or imply any act of smoking, sex, nudity, nontraditional family values, gratuitous violence, or vulgar or profane language"? You know which state this is  (slashfilm.com)	(90)
		Breaking News: Some bullshiat happening somewhere (warning: profanity)  (theonion.com)	(27)

(Prefix Mag)		The Melvins to release new album and go on tour, which is excting news for the dozens of fans still listening to grunge    (prefixmag.com)	(48)
		Knicks go 0-18 from 3 in loss to the Nets. Don't worry though Knick fans, next year you'll be paying Michael Redd and Joe Johnson $30m a year to miss those 3's  (sports.yahoo.com)	(57)
(Some Twangy Douche)		Brad Paisley hospitalized after falling off the stage in South Carolina. You'd think by now he'd know that country music fans don't believe in crowd surfing  (digitalspy.com)	(16)

		Lewis Carroll's original Alice in Wonderland story is actually: a) political satire; b) pedophile fantasy; or c) commentary about recent mathematical theories  (nytimes.com)	(48)
(Not Even Tongue-In-Cheek)		Gene Simmons can't stand Oasis or the Gallagher brothers. However, he is admittedly a fan of Franz Ferdinand, Arctic Monkeys, and Keane. This news is expected to drive KISS fans wild and drive them crazy  (spinner.com)	(30)
		Achievement Unlocked: Leaving your infant daughter to die of neglect because you're too busy raising a virtual child online. Bonus: Both parents arrested and charged  (videogames.yahoo.com)	(177)

(stopinternets)		Hey you, Roger Waters gearing up for "The Wall" tour 2010. We're gonna' find out where you fans really stand  (stopinternets.com)	(45)
		Forget 2012, the world is over: Cleveland Cavaliers fans create world record for Most Snuggies Worn  (cleveland.com)	(45)

		A look back at cases of fanboy outrage over the casting of the biggest comic book movies. Not sure if article is serious?  (movies.ign.com)	(57)
		If you're a woman who fancies the bad boy type, perhaps corrections officer isn't an optimal line of business (with surprisingly hittable pic)  (statesman.com)	(98)

(Some Emo Band)		Drummer for My Chemical Romance leaves band, will be replaced by a drummer indistinguishable from himself. Their emo fanbase expected to wear a darker shade of eyeliner in mourning  (nme.com)	(22)
		"How the LA Clippers Made Me a Better Hindu." Presumably after a lifetime of suffering, he'll come back as a Lakers fan  (huffingtonpost.com)	(21)

		Metallica drop ticket prices after realizing that their fans in Tel-Aviv don't have $159 to waste on their greedy asses  (contactmusic.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		Huey Lewis and the News may no longer be working for a living as professional musicians after they cancel their Australian tour. If this is it, it will surely crush the heart and soul of their fans  (heraldsun.com.au)	(60)

(Some Guy)		One for Wheel of Time fans. Eye of the World, the movie may be released sometime next year  (geekology.co.za)	(151)
		Take one Avatar fan with too much time on his hands, give him a large box of Lego, and the result is surprisingly awesome  (gizmodo.com)	(31)
(538)		If you cut out the newfangled sports, Germany lead the 2010 medal count. Canada loaded up on golds in made-up, phony sports  (fivethirtyeight.com)	(180)
		PS3 fanboys, welcome to your RROD  (engadget.com)	(342)

		Bon Jovi will visit homeless shelters on their upcoming tour. Never before has a band gone to such great lengths to reach its fanbase    (contactmusic.com)	(18)
(Some Whovians)		Dr. Who fans have a lot of disposable income, given that someone spent over $40,000 on a Dalek prop. Guess it must be nice not having to pay your parents rent for staying in the basement  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(65)
(Some Baltar)		In a change of pace, James Callis joins the cast of "Flashforward", a show that hasn't made sense from the start nor gained any sort of loyal fanbase  (digitalspy.com)	(47)
(Some Guy)		Pickle has more fans than Nickelback. More talent too  (nymag.com)	(47)

		"Although many men think they have struck gold when they discover Shannon has an addiction to sex, they quickly discover that it is not every man's fantasy"  (thesun.co.uk)	(402)
		Are you ready? Hundreds of fans at an AC/DC concert thunderstruck after finding $75 parking tickets on their cars after the show. Hells bells  (news.com.au)	(107)
(Some Guy)		Tennessee cops confused by newfangled brighter headlights, will issue tickets  (officer.com)	(200)

(J-Tull.com)		Ian Anderson's utterly fantastic and win-drenched guide to Indian food: "Nothing disrupts a band sound-check like the pervasive after-effects of the Tarka Dhal"  (j-tull.com)	(41)
		Police arrive to see woman crying and yelling profanities as chocolate milk spills out of her pants. Just another day in your local Publix  (nwfdailynews.com)	(71)
		Atheist leader Richard Dawkins excommunicates all his fans. (with "who farted, y'all?" pic)  (timesonline.typepad.com)	(302)

		Tiger Woods apologizes at pre-school. "Sometimes, when a man loves a woman, and she has fantastic cans, an ass you could carry books on, and a special area blessed by Jesus, boo-boos can happen"  (sports.yahoo.com)	(109)
		Today's excuse for Canada's low medal count at the Vancouver Olympics is (spins wheel): fans cheering too loud  (theprovince.com)	(110)
(Some Tin-Foil Guy)		Colts fans have become convinced that Peyton Manning threw the game-deciding interception on purpose, because it somehow makes more sense than he choked  (nfl.fanhouse.com)	(80)
		Physicist calls on Hollywood to tone down the fanciful science in movies and restrict themselves to just one scientific flaw per film. Also have intermissions every 12 parsecs so people can use the restroom    (news.bbc.co.uk)	(88)
		Sandy Koufax dashes Mets fans hopes by announcing he was only at spring training to give the pitchers advice, not compete for the number 4 spot in the rotation    (nydailynews.com)	(26)

		Despite increasing ticket prices and revenues, Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt is planning to cut $25 million off his payroll. Dodgers fans quit reading the article after the sixth paragraph  (sports.espn.go.com)	(22)
		Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie to team up for "Gruesome Twosome" tour and to let fans decide who now looks the most pathetic on stage  (starpulse.com)	(61)
		Manny says this will be the last spring Dodgers fans will have Manny being Manny  (sports.espn.go.com)	(23)
		The colourful and boisterous nature of Canadian hockey fans. With somber "losing to the US" music playing in the background  (olympics.thestar.com)	(116)
		Oregon WR kicked off team for profanity-filled Facebook rant after mistakenly thinking that a teammate had been kicked off the team for DUI, then follows it up with a racist comment  (usatoday.com)	(52)

SHMHC has a fan play "Aesthetics of Hate" with Machine Head  (youtube.com)

(76)

		New Crow flick could start production this summer. Fans hope whomever is cast as the lead doesn't have the last name of "Lee"  (io9.com)	(44)
		Blackhawks fans are the biggest bandwagon fans in the NHL  (huffingtonpost.com)	(99)
(Some Guy)		Not enough fans buying tickets to your lame ass ice hockey team's games? I have an idea, let's tax people  (bizjournals.com)	(23)

		Turns out Carthage *didn't* have a systematic infant sacrifice problem. They all got razed the same  (physorg.com)	(38)
		Fans applaud San Diego Padres for selling 14-oz beers for just $5. Sounds awesome, unless you do the math and realize they're still generating $700 from each half-barrel  (signonsandiego.com)	(60)

		Carly Simon has launched a competition giving fans the chance to make the first ever video for her 1972 song, You're So Vain  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(33)
(SB Nation)		NBC's crappy Olympics coverage has reached a point where sports fans are beginning to personally hate the network with the blazing agony of rectal herpes    (sbnation.com)	(163)
		30 Dumb Inventions: From a curved-barrel machine gun to a strapless, backless, wireless, support-less bra... even a baby cage so you can suspend your infant in a wire cage outside of your window to save room in your apartment  (life.com)	(138)
		There are those who love Sarah Palin, and there are those who hate Sarah Palin. And they are all equally living in Fantasyland  (washingtonpost.com)	(140)

		Not willing to be outdone by the NBA, MLB planning to host its 2015 All-Star game in front of nearly 1,500 fans  (fannation.com)	(44)
		Fan proposes at the NY Rangers Valentine's Day game; gets denied. As if being a Rangers fan wasn't bad enough  (bareknucks.com)	(49)

		Then I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" The cop said, "I got really, really tanked and crashed my car into the storefront."  (foxnews.com)	(47)
(Some Guy)		Ohio man goes to Vegas to break the world record of most hugs in one day. Because there simply isn't anything else to do in Vegas except hug elderly strangers with fanny packs all day  (newsnet5.com)	(29)

		Lady Gaga's biggest, most important fan? Helen Mirren. Yeah, try to reconcile that, haters  (contactmusic.com)	(79)
		Caturday announcement: Editor Ellen Datlow has commissioned authors to write sci-fi/fantasy stories for an anthology entitled Tails of Wonder And Imagination, stories that are all about furred felines  (io9.com)	(79)

NBC explains its decision to show ice dancing over U.S./Canada hockey. "This is just another case of why the NHL will never be as popular as its fan base either believes it is or wants it to be."  (sports.yahoo.com)

(143)

(Some Douchebags)

Rage Against the Machine will play a free concert for fans who created a Facebook campaign to ruin everyone's Christmas. Hopefully, it rains that day  (nme.com)

(57)

Tales of intimidation and mocking in college sports. "A fan taunted a hefty opposing player with a fast food meal dangling from a fishing pole until security stopped it."  (hosted.ap.org)

(29)

		After Liam Gallagher getting injured by a fan and QotSA's Josh Homme resorting to cheap insults, Rammstein found an effective way to deal with fans jumping on stage : A flamethrower  (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk)	(38)
		Cleveland Cavaliers encouraging fans to drink beer  (blog.cleveland.com)	(27)
		USC fanboys rejoice after #1 recruit Sean Henderson signs letter of intent to play for ... oh wait  (nytimes.com)	(33)
		Carrie Prejean engaged to Rams' QB. This just isn't your year, is it Rams fans?  (eonline.com)	(35)

		World's biggest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan. Yes, she eats pizza every day  (youtube.com)	(62)
		After student sent home from Louisiana high school for wearing a Colts jersey, his parents call the ACLU -- proving that like their team, Indy fans are really only good at working the officials    (cbsnews.com)	(102)

(Some Guy)		Sorry Saints fans. A psychic nun has picked the Colts by 9...and God is on her side  (gambling911.com)	(27)
		Here's the Sports Science episode showing how Drew Brees is more accurate than Olympic archers. Sweet dreams, Colts fans (action starts at 4:05)  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(67)
(NBC Sports)		Diehard Dodger fan will see your foam finger and raise you a gLAss eye. (with pic)  (outofbounds.nbcsports.com)	(15)
(TV By The Numbers)		Science Channel reports excellent ratings for first full month of 2010, as science fans increasingly tire of ghosts, UFOs, fishermen, and non-sciency crap on their usual channels  (tvbythenumbers.com)	(97)

		Mark Cuban introducing the 21st century interactive NBA fan experience  (sports.espn.go.com)	(12)
(Some Blue Guy)		Sega finally gives fans what they want, makes Sonic The Hedgehog 4 without any shiatty side characters. Somehow, the game will still suck  (gamespot.com)	(84)
		Proving everything that Texas fans have ever said about them; a researcher at Texas A&M has found that Viagra is useful for sheep as well    (io9.com)	(23)
		Fans believe it isn't fair that AC/DC plays the same setlist at every stop on their new tour. Honestly, though...how can they tell the difference?  (contactmusic.com)	(48)

		Joe Johnston, director of "The First Avenger: Captain America," sits down an reassures fans that the movie will start off during WWII and thankfully skip the 60's and 70's storylines  (cinematical.com)	(79)
		The original members of Limp Bizkit have a treat in store for their fan  (contactmusic.com)	(51)

It's your (semi) official (semi) Pro Bowl thread for all of you (semi) serious football fans out there  (sports.yahoo.com)

(470)

		The brilliant NFL QB, born around forty years ago, who has delighted (and frustrated) the fans of several teams, has finally decided to hang up the towel after a disappointing playoff loss  (reuters.com)	(256)
		If it makes you feel any better Vikings' fans, that hit on Brett Favre during the first interception should have been flagged allowing them into the red zone  (sports.espn.go.com)	(117)
		Russia threatened to nuke America if Henry Paulson didn't bail out Fannie and Freddy. Or, so he'd like you to believe  (reason.com)	(23)

		The 15 most tortured fanbases according to the Sports Guy. Congratulations Cubs fans, you finally finished first at something  (sports.espn.go.com)	(154)
(Spinner)		Charlie Watts admits being more of a jazz fan, thinks The Beatles and Elvis suck: "The Stones are merely an annoying pastime"  (spinner.ca)	(18)
(Some Loki)		Marvel says that Thor will be grounded in science, not fantasy. Um...have you guys actually read the comic?  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(97)
(Prefix)		Metallica fans provide perfect backdrop to "For Whom the Bell Tolls" as they're attacked with water cannons by Chile's militarized police (with vid)  (prefixmag.com)	(24)

		NFL to Saints fans wanting "Who Dat" tee shirts - Not Yours  (nola.com)	(174)
(Some Guy)		Johnny Depp to make music fans suffer by recording charity single to help Haiti. Surely Haiti would rather just have some of his cash  (twentyfourbit.com)	(20)
		Great news, Glee and Jane Lynch fans: Sue Sylvester is finally going to sing on the show, and it will be a rendition of Madonna's "Vogue"  (starpulse.com)	(63)

		What was it like to be in a Vikings fans living room when Brett Favre threw that last pick against the Saints? Here you go (Not safe for work language)  (youtube.com)	(171)
		Many Lynyrd Skynyrd fans bent out of shape over Conan's Free Bird performance. "This isn't right. I actually have tears in my eyes."  (jacksonville.com)	(56)
		It's your official Apple iJesus Tablet launch thinger fanboy douchebag discussion thread  (apple.com)	(1715)

		Mark Mothersbaugh talks about the new Devo album and his hopes that fans will derive some measure of satisfaction from it  (pastemagazine.com)	(30)
		Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning talk about kissing in their new movie, and how you've already clicked the link haven't you?  (mtv.com)	(82)

		At Canadian concert, GNR frontman Axl Rose orders security goons to detain entering fans who wear Slash T-shirts or top hats, force costume change. Most GNR detainees meekly obeyed, as is their nature  (tmz.com)	(89)
(Some Guy)		If you need money for college fans of Star Trek can win a $500 Starfleet Academy Scholarship. The Klingon Language Institute awards $500 for a Memorial Scholarship for language study. bachHa  (pittsburghlive.com)	(54)
		Mike Abramsky of Fanboi Inc. says the Apple tablet, even though no one has seen it, could earn eleventy hundred gillion dollars a year, extrude hip sandals from a special port, and provide intravenous lattes  (news.cnet.com)	(78)

(Some Guy)

Vikings fans respond to the awe-inspiring Prince "fight" song (with nice fark.com attribution.)  (wwl.com)

(123)

Forty-one years and two Super Bowls later, the Colts are still haunted by the Curse of Broadway Joe. And you thought Red Sox fans were pathetic  (baltimoresun.com)

(43)

(Some G@M3R)		Final Fantasy I and II coming to iPhone, iPod Touch  (destructoid.com)	(177)
(Some Spice Boy)		Coming soon to B'way: Spice Girls, the musical. Finally a new audience will be exposed to all of their hit song. This should surely thrill both of their fans  (crainsnewyork.com)	(11)

		Serena Williams sets up eBay auction for Haiti with goal of $92,000 - a target equal the total fine for her profanity-laced outburst at a lineswoman during the U.S. Open  (google.com)	(27)
		Joe Perry says Aerosmith has "let their fans down." However, this apology only covers recent months, not the past thirty-five years  (contactmusic.com)	(21)
		Final season of Lost promises to make fans more annoying than ever  (slashfilm.com)	(92)
		Jets fan gets arrested at Jets/Chargers game, is roughly hauled away by police. Crime: Cheering loudly for the Jets  (liveleak.com)	(91)

(News 14 Carolina)		UNC players give tips to Special Olympics athletes. Duke fans say maybe it should be the other way around  (news14.com)	(31)
		If you're a Tekken fan who was hoping the movie adaptation couldn't possibly FAIL on the level of Street Fighter, well, I have a new trailer's worth of bad news  (youtube.com)	(84)

		Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban promises 38,000 wildly cheering fans that this BCS Championship is just the beginning. Speculation on his new team, salary, and successor at Alabama to the right  (govolsxtra.com)	(60)
		All the Tennessee Volunteers fans blasting Lane Kiffin for "betraying" them probably don't realize that they've ended up with a better coach  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(37)
		Cubs fans can expect a renovation of the stadium and its surrounding environs in time for Wrigley Field's 100th birthday. However, they can still look forward to seeing the same shiatty, mediocre home team at every game  (chicagotribune.com)	(70)
		In bid to expose boxing to young fans who started with or moved on to MMA and WWE, "Top Rank Boxing" returns to basic cable after 15-year absence with quality fighters and improved lighting for HD  (sports.yahoo.com)	(79)

(Lileks)		Smart suits, fancy frocks and a look at what your grandpa used to fap to. It's the 1934 Sears Catalog  (lileks.com)	(158)
(Korea Times)		South Korean math teacher becomes legendary for profanely berating at-risk students, whacking them with shovels, and eliciting high grades. "If it were in the U.S., he would be probably in jail for doing so. But yeah, it's Korea"  (koreatimes.co.kr)	(63)
		What's on the iPod of the world's most evil men? While Osama is into B-52s and Whitney Houston and Kim Jong-Il is more of a Clapton fan, Colonel Gaddafi reveals that, like camels and couscous, Lionel Richie is huge in Libya  (guardian.co.uk)	(13)

		This week's mugshot roundup starts off with a serious football fan and seriously deteriorates from there  (thesmokinggun.com)	(199)
		The Killers make self-important statement about needing a break. I mean really, get off their backs fan  (webn.com)	(19)
		Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak proclaims Google phone as his favorite gadget as the iPhone fangirl inside me starts to sob  (gizmodo.com)	(243)

Attention, Firefly fans: Titan Books is releasing an anthology collection of original, authorized stories sometime later this year. That is, assuming it doesn't get canceled  (io9.com)

(35)

		Death Metal Rooster's Biggest Fan  (youtube.com)	(40)
(TN Vols)		There are about to be a lot of Lane Kiffin fans in Haiti  (govolsxtra.com)	(30)
(Some happy happy guy)		"Ren & Stimpy" creator replies to 14-year-old fan with awesome 8 page letter  (torontoist.com)	(53)

(Meh)

System of a Down expected to reunite this year. Their legion of fan said to be excited  (nme.com)

(53)

		So who really owns Spiderman, the X-Men and the Fantastic Four? Is it the genius with the pencil who created them all and brought them to life or the suits who profited from the creation and never properly compensated the artist?  (news.yahoo.com)	(82)
		Today's WTF video brought to you by a fan of Germany's Bagger 288 mass strip mining excavator (complete with headbanging fox)  (youtube.com)	(56)

		Blake Lively scores the role of Carol Ferris in the upcoming Green Lantern movie. Fanboys react, well they react like they always do  (io9.com)	(60)
		Ravens fans are "the most sniveling, caterwauling, whiniest bunch of ref-blaming losers ever to infest a football stadium." It's the ref's fault if this isn't greenlighted  (kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com)	(101)

(Halifax Courier)

Obi-Wan Kenobi -- the same man that single handedly dispatched a criminal with a death sentence on twelve systems -- has his lightsabre stolen on way home from fancy dress party  (halifaxcourier.co.uk)

(104)

		Obama considering pushing State of the Union address back to February 2nd in hopes the Health Care Bill is passed by then. The problem? He's in danger of pissing off a very passionate, vocal demographic: "Lost" fans  (washingtonpost.com)	(99)
		Stephen Baldwin would rather watch his daughter die than hear her say that Jesus doesn't exist. "I'm gonna sound fanatical right now" - YA THINK?  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(179)

You know that fancy, schmancy National Operations Center we set up at DHS to coordinate federal agencies' info on terror? It doesn't work, "functions largely in name only"  (hotair.com)

(66)

(Some Guy)		Fans working on Duke Nukem Forever film. It will be released "when it's done"  (gamenewshq.com)	(22)
		ESPN plans to unveil "ESPN 3D" network in time for this summer's World Cup, allowing fans to see soccer players as the blue catpeople with bad hair they truly are  (usatoday.com)	(54)
		What happens when a hardcore gamer gets dragged into a real-life game of Monopoly? Loads of profanity warning  (liveleak.com)	(70)
		Mets fan to Yankees fan: "You know how I know your team is gay?"  (sports.espn.go.com)	(65)
		Two earthquakes return to rock Solomon Islands in an encore show. Fans go wild  (foxnews.com)	(23)

(Techie)		"Avatar" made a billion dollars before the first Na'vi porn fanfic had a chance to hit the Internet  (techie.com.ph)	(107)
		Two Rams fans leap from the stands after 49'ers-Rams game. Suprisingly, this wasn't an act of suicide  (sports.espn.go.com)	(20)

		Taxpayers to lose $400 billion on Fannie and Freddie. Let's hope the Feds are better at health insurance than they are at mortgages  (bloomberg.com)	(108)
(Some Guy)		Lions clinch second pick in NFL draft after being slapped around by Chicago. Bonus: fan running on field had more rushing yards than Lions' top two rushers combined  (mlive.com)	(55)

It's like the Jets are afraid the fans are going to strip Giants Stadium down in its final game and burn the remains in a drunken orgy with the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa  (nydailynews.com)

(35)

		Cool: Nike releases "Air Max LeBron VII Low" shoe. Fail: It is in Knicks colors and sports a crude "I 3 NY" logo on the sole. Suck it, Cavs fans  (cleveland.com)	(53)
		Not happy with just alienating their fan base, Blizzard have begun incarcerating their fan base  (kotaku.com)	(147)
		The complete list of television marathons at your disposal starting on New Year's Eve. Twilight Zone fans, you're in for roughly 46 hours of bliss  (popwatch.ew.com)	(118)

		Two Gator fans are suing Fox for threatening not to broadcast the Sugar Bowl in central Florida  (hosted.ap.org)	(32)
		Big fan of sea urchin sushi? Scientists have discovered you're really eating a giant eyeball  (news.yahoo.com)	(73)
		Former anti-porn crusader says research for "Zipper Disease" explains his stash of Penthouse, Penthouse Secret Fantasies, Penthouse Sex Files, Penthouse Forum, Penthouse Letters, Best of Forum Letters, Penthouse Variations  (newsok.com)	(148)
		Elvis fanatic with no telephone becomes Mississippi town's biggest tourist draw with his home "Graceland Too." Just call the tourism board and they'll let him know you're stopping by  (hosted.ap.org)	(16)

In a late attempt to win the award for Douchebag of the Year, Tommy Lee has asked for fans to play for him. But without pay  (new.music.yahoo.com)

(24)

		TMZ publishes photo that seems to show JFK on a boat with naked women. Not safe for work. And NS for Camelot fans  (tmz.com)	(130)
		Panthers destroy Giants 41-9. Deny fans opportunity to dig up Jimmy Hoffa's body during victory celebration  (sports.espn.go.com)	(166)

Despite endless fanboy whining, Avatar has maintained its spot atop the box office, narrowly defeating Sherlock Holmes and that movie about Richard Gere's three pals  (examiner.com)

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		"Let's just say it outright: This is a movie about alien porn. It's about the great, timeless, hypererotic white man fantasy of the Other. Inhabiting it, having sex with it, becoming it, moving inside it"  (sfgate.com)	(125)
		Unlike Ron Santo, Cubs fans believe Andre Dawson has done enough legwork to make it into the Hall of Fame  (suntimes.com)	(89)
(Some Guy)		Lakers fans give their team the finger, over and over and over again. Literally  (faniq.com)	(39)

		Fan wants 'Avatar' poster signed. James Cameron: "Get out of my f---ing space" Fan: WAAAAAAAH, I MAKE 15 BUCKS AN HOUR TO GO SEE YOUR MOVIES, WAAAAAAAHHHH  (tmz.com)	(255)
		Tay "Chocolate Rain" Zonday returns, gives us a fantastic rendition of "You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch"  (youtube.com)	(50)
		Government-owned Fannie and Freddie CEOs receive compensation of $4-6 million each for losing a combined $111 billion. CENTCOM Commander Gen. David H. Petraeus made $180,000. You do the math  (abcnews.go.com)	(56)

Island of Vanatu was populated 3,000 years by people without heads, making them the root genetic ancestors of... members of Congress? Dancing with the Stars viewers? Sports fans in Philadelphia? So many jokes, so little headline  (sciencedaily.com)

(37)

(The 700 Level)

It snowed in Philadelphia on Saturday. So you know what that means: Eagles fans pelting 49ers fans with snowballs on Sunday (videos)  (the700level.com)

(79)

		Will the Bengals honor fallen teammate Chris Henry with a victory? Will Ochocinco become Unocinco? Will your fantasy team survive to the next round of the playoffs? It's your NFL Week 15 discussion thread  (sports.espn.go.com)	(lots)
(Some Hoops Guy)		To show how much their fans mean to them on "Fan Night," the Toronto Raptors have booked Vanilla Ice to perform at half-time of their February 3 game against the Nets. In other news, the Toronto Raptors hate their fans  (lastangryfan.com)	(38)

(The Faaaaaaamous Mr Ed)		New York man arrested for being a fan of the Fillies  (recordonline.com)	(154)
		The NHL's best (and worst) fans. You get one guess to figure out which geographic region is home to the bottom five. (warning, slideshow)  (forbes.com)	(197)

Players freebasing cocaine, locker room brawls, fans punching players, and little Peyton Manning asking if he can boo his dad. Meet the 1-and-15 Saints of 1980  (nola.com)

(58)

		In honor of its 10-year anniversary, a fan releases a 70-minute video review of Star Wars Episode I, explaining why it's horrible  (slashfilm.com)	(293)
(Some Guy)		Baltimore finally figures out where to put statue of Frank Zappa, much to the delight of his dozens of fans worldwide  (wbal.com)	(101)

(Some geek^2)		Nightcrawler and Wolverine outed as fans of NPR's This American Life  (blogs.vocalo.org)	(38)
(FTUWD)		The Unknown Who Dat has been found - his name's Bill and he's from Maryland. More important - his rewards for keeping the faith and inspiring Saints fans everywhere  (findtheunknownwhodat.com)	(69)
		Seahawks coach claims other teams think they are "soft." Seahawks fans, rest of world wonder what the hell took him so long to figure it out  (sports.espn.go.com)	(45)
		Forget fancy instruments, USGS uses twitter to track earthquakes  (abcnews.go.com)	(9)

(cinemablend.com)		Joss Whedon to release soundtrack based on commentary of DVD release of web-only miniseries musical. Fans hoping for pop-up book based on the soundtrack, and an interpretive dance series inspired by discarded script drafts  (cinemablend.com)	(39)
		Dallas Cowboys' experiment with showing the 2nd half of their game Sunday in 3D leaves fans nauseated and annoyed. Pretty much the same as if they'd watched the game in 2D, actually  (nfl.fanhouse.com)	(56)

Square Enix releases Final Fantasy XIII screenshots. JRPG nerds release in their pants  (blogs.forbes.com)

(241)

		Cardinals fans can look forward to Tony LaRussa as coach despite his eligibility for retirement after next season. Alternatively, Cubs fans can look forward to blaming Lou Piniella for the 103rd straight disappointing season  (chicagotribune.com)	(18)
		What do you get when you interview fans in the parking lot of a Slayer/Marilyn Manson concert? 8 minutes of hilarity  (youtube.com)	(43)
		Questionable judging turning fans away from sport struggling for audience attention. It's not figure skating. Or gymnastics. Or fencing. Not judo. Not soccer, this time. It's boxing  (sports.yahoo.com)	(95)

		James Cameron has two sequels planned for Avatar, and on top of that, he wants to remake Fantastic Voyage. Subby's all for highlighting the musical genius that is Coolio, but he doesn't know how that song is going to be made into a movie  (cinematical.com)	(105)
(NME)		Stella McCartney denies rumors that she's designing shoes with Morrissey, claiming the singer is a bigmouthed, crashing bore. Fans of both said to be disappointed  (nme.com)	(19)
(NME)		The White Stripes will release a limited edition documentary boxed set that will retail for $179. Their fans will have to work extra hard playing acoustic sets outside of Borders in order to afford it  (nme.com)	(33)
		Proof that even NBA fans don't watch NBA games: Tracy McGrady has yet to play a game this season but is on pace to start the All-Star game  (sports.yahoo.com)	(76)
		Good news, Dallas Cowboys fans: Tony Romo is once again your snap holder  (sports.espn.go.com)	(146)

		On his blog, Thomas Dolby blinds Star Wars fans with a new hope upon mentioning how his friend is working on the new Star Wars TV show, movie, and online games. Yes, you saw that. "Movie." Goddammitsomuch, George Lucas  (io9.com)	(107)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)		When town officials block a Steeler fan's signage, the ACLU steps in with an end-around  (post-gazette.com)	(44)

(Some Guy)		Photoshop this pianist and his fans  (do-while.com)	(39)
(Some Guy)		Health officials in South Africa worry that 450,000 drunken soccer fans visiting a country with a high rate of HIV-infected prostitutes could result in thousands contracting soccer fandom  (zimdiaspora.com)	(13)

		Week 14 NFL Power Rankings to the left, biatchy whining Colts fans to the right  (espn.go.com)	(273)
		Carrier Prejean won't appear in show at midnight because it conflicts with her Christian image. Either that, or she doesn't want people to see the fangs and facial hair she develops  (nypost.com)	(77)
		WWE wrestler Sheamus fulfills dream of many NBA fans; throws Mark Cuban through a table  (barenucks.com)	(55)

(Ric Romero)		Ric Romero has a fan page on Facebook, it's woefully unpopulated. Please help and become a fan, this man is a legend -Drew  (facebook.com)	(912)
(Some Guy)		Raiders fans are fed up with Al Davis, buy a billboard asking him to step down  (realfootball365.com)	(44)
		Your daily 'WTF, Deutschland?' comes courtesy of German hip-hop group Die Fantastischen Vier. Sehr gut  (youtube.com)	(38)

		Good news, Philadelphia sports fans. Andy Reid is on the verge of coaching the Eagles thru another 10 seasons of mediocrity  (sports.espn.go.com)	(36)
		Sarah Palin, a fan of BJ's, services and satisfies 2000 paying customers  (washingtonpost.com)	(112)

		Time's 100 best TV shows ever - All in a nice, handy list format. Firefly fans need not click the link  (time.com)	(170)
		British politicans warned not to use words such as "extremists" or "fanatics" in case they offend ... well, which religious group usually takes offence at such things?  (thesun.co.uk)	(113)

(Some Guy)		Two Fans, One Paper Plane  (clipjunkie.com)	(17)
(PrefixMag)		First David Bowie US fan letter response, dating from '67: "I hope one day to get to America"  (prefixmag.com)	(28)
		Fan gives the Jonas Brothers a dead shark as a gift. They immediately jump it    (contactmusic.com)	(18)

Jungle Book vultures song - performed for you today in a cappella fandub  (youtube.com)

(9)

The 10 best NFL plays of the decade. Hey, Packers fans, does "4th and 26" sound familiar?  (sports.yahoo.com)

(184)

(Some Guy)		For Sale: One Leafs fan loyalty. "I will cheer for your team on TV and brag about your team to my co-workers"  (montrealgazette.com)	(58)
		South Africa welcomes English soccer fans to 2010 World Cup with mobile police station complete with holding cells and a courthouse that will be at all England's games (pics)  (thesun.co.uk)	(26)

(news-register)		Fark's favorite Warriors fan has been clean and sober for eight weeks, and ran a 5K on Thanksgiving. With interview that will change everything you ever thought about Patrick Tribett  (news-register.net)	(288)
		Photoshop these fab fans  (flickr.com)	(22)

		"Josh McDaniels, are you going to apologize for your profane language that was accidentally aired on NFL network Thursday night?" "No, and fark you for asking me"  (sports.yahoo.com)	(62)
		Britain makes case that 2018 soccer World Cup should be held in the U.K., pointing out that it may be the only time in their lives that British soccer fans get to see what the trophy looks like    (guardian.co.uk)	(15)
		Come Together mashed up with Closer? The results may surprise you (with profaNINty)  (youtube.com)	(40)

Good Charlotte apologize for making emo music that got their fans beat up: "I guess if you're gonna dress like you listen to The Cure all the time, you're gonna get s... for it"  (news.com.au)

(36)

(NBC Sports)		Oakland Raiders will play their first Thanksgiving game in 39 years. With the current roster, football fans wonder why they'll be ending that streak today  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(22)
(Some Malicious Town)		Paul Weller will play two concerts at London's Royal Albert Hall, continues to be irritated when fans ask him what it was like working with Ronny Cox and Kurtwood Smith  (nme.com)	(26)
		English soccer fans "furious" at record high prices organizers charge them to watch their team suck at 2010 World Cup  (dailystar.co.uk)	(26)
		Not so fast, Stephen King fans; that announcement about a Shining sequel was a bit premature. Thank god  (shelf-life.ew.com)	(42)

Man risks certain death to prank an entire theater full of "Twilight: New Moon" fans (with glorious video)  (examiner.com)

(270)

		Lady Gaga spent $1,000 on 80 pizzas for fans waiting for her autograph. We can only assume that there was extra sausage    (contactmusic.com)	(93)
		At her signing Monday night, Rihanna kept hundreds of fans waiting for hours out in the cold rain under their umbrella-ella-ellas  (abc2news.com)	(31)
		Fan takes moniker of "Fighting Irish" a little too seriously and courageously sucker punches courageous Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen  (espn.go.com)	(70)
		Browns coach Eric Mangini question the Lions injuries during Sunday's game. Browns fans question Mangini's coaching abilities during the entire season  (nytimes.com)	(47)

		Steelers fan kills puppy because it wouldn't stay quiet before a football game. He's apparently a big fan of Michael Vick, too  (cnews.canoe.ca)	(83)
		News: CPSC announces they'll be announcing a crib recall tomorrow. Fark: They're not going to say which cribs yet. Have fun putting your infants to bed tonight  (money.cnn.com)	(80)
		In a fantastic leap of logic, scientists propose that some sort of 'flowing air' might someday be used to generate electricity. If only this 'flowing air' phenomenon occurred naturally outside of a laboratory  (telegraph.co.uk)	(31)
		Former Republican governor and HHS secretary: "If we could just get off our ideological partisan positions on the extremes, we could develop a bipartisan bill that could have fantastic support across the country"  (jsonline.com)	(294)
		Jay Cutler successfully throws nineteen incomplete passes during the Bears' 24-20 loss to the Eagles. Since this is Chicago, the fans are calling this a rebuilding year and saying there's always next season  (chicagotribune.com)	(149)

It's the final race of the 2009 NASCAR season, and Jimmie Johnson looks to win his 4th straight championship, driving away countless NASCAR fans who hate him. It's the official Ford 400 discussion thread  (nascar.com)

(168)