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Headlines matching 'family'
Wed February 08, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Mail) Sad Wolfman family in India seeks help for their rare genetic affliction, hopes to enlist the aid of Tom Cruise, who has decades of experience dealing with beards  (dailymail.co.uk) (82)
(CNN) Cool Think you're a nerd? Think again. This guy created a huge family tree of Middle Earth which took six years  (geekout.blogs.cnn.com) (50)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Gizmodo) Asinine Heroes: How elite special forces armed to their teeth busted into Kim Dotcom's family mansion to capture two kids, one baby, two Filipino nannies, a woman and one clumsy meganerd  (gizmodo.com) (53)
(AP) NewsFlash Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family  (hosted.ap.org) (371)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Family of jogger killed by drunk driver circulate petition to ban drinking on beach, reenact 18th Amendment  (mysuncoast.com) (61)


Mon February 06, 2012
(News.com.au) Followup Mushroom-picking family lost for six days in forest describes their balls-tripping ordeal  (news.com.au) (101)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady)) Sick Parents and sons accused of stealing blind and deaf grandparents' credit card and ringing up $12,000 in purchases. W/ all in the family white trash mugshots  (dailygazette.com) (122)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Stuff.co.nz) Strange Why not spice up your stale sex life with some hot threesomes between you, your husband and your 15 year old cousin? Apart from the court case and the awkward family dinners of course  (stuff.co.nz) (70)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Yahoo) Hero Matt Cassel saves family from house fire. Also saves: cat, player piano, washer, dryer, grandfather clock, couch, vanity, dining set  (sports.yahoo.com) (35)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail Newt Gingrich thinks college students should get part-time jobs to pay for their tuition. As opposed to when he was in college and begged his family for money instead of looking for a job. "I want all my time for my studies"  (syracuse.com) (347)


Fri January 27, 2012
(The Register) Spiffy Nobel winners invent new way to distill alcohol. Science: it works, female members of the family Canidae  (theregister.co.uk) (12)


Tue January 24, 2012
(Deadspin) Video On tonight's Family Feud, the survey said "His Schlong" (safe for work)  (deadspin.com) (37)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Mediaite) Dumbass Andrea Mitchell Claims Mitt Romney's Family Entered US Illegally  (mediaite.com) (141)


Sun January 22, 2012
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Scary Greetings. I am a member of the Nigerian Royal Family and need your assistance in securing the release of the American hostage. I await your bank account number so that arrangements can be made. This is 100% safe and is not a scam  (ajc.com) (41)


Sat January 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Gay couple, one of whom is an injured Iraq war veteran, denied family membership to Ohio gym: "Your marriage isn't real"  (wkyc.com) (213)
(fraser coast chronicle.com) Caturday Dexter the cat, who was lost and given up for dead more than 4 years ago, has been reunited with his family just in time for Caturday   (frasercoastchronicle.com.au) (780)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting A man accused of strangling his wife tells the court the family dog did it. This leads to just one question... How long did it take to train the dog?  (thelocal.de) (31)


Wed January 18, 2012
(YouTube) Amusing And now for no reason at all... The Family Guy Fart-Tacular  (youtube.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Spiffy SOPA SOPA SOPA, oh by the way I have a secret illegitimate child I have been hiding from my family. Oh man, it feels good to have that secret out  (turnto23.com) (12)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Family takes kids to Chuck E. Cheese for birthday party, asks people at next table to clean up their language. You know what happens next  (13abc.com) (183)
(CNN) Interesting Republicans put Family Feud on display. Romney is Richard Dawson, Santorum is Ray Combs, Perry is Richard Karn, Gingrich is Louie Anderson and Ron Paul isn't playing because game shows aren't in the Constitution   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (58)
(Telegraph) Strange Jewish man arrested after posting swastikas on doors. Family and friends say they did Nazi that coming  (telegraph.co.uk) (59)


Sat January 14, 2012
(AZCentral) Obvious Another family discovers they can't afford the power bills or the property tax on the big new home built for them in an "Extreme Makeover" episode  (azcentral.com) (215)


Thu January 12, 2012
(WTSP) Florida Cool: High school students write letters, thanking Muslim leader for explaining Islam to class. Fark: Christian family association sends over 3,500 emails, condemning Muslim leader's visit  (wtsp.com) (233)


Wed January 11, 2012
(CNN) Dumbass Katy Perry's father apologizes for anti-Semitic remarks, shows that boobs run in the family  (marquee.blogs.cnn.com) (30)


Tue January 10, 2012
(CNN) Weird DNA links 1991 killing to Colonial-era family - If thy glove dost not fit, thou must acquit  (cnn.com) (106)


Fri January 06, 2012
(American Independent) Fail According to the president of the American Family Association, HIV does not cause AIDS. Nope, it's caused by too much gay sex  (americanindependent.com) (256)
(Fark) Interesting Ladies, when you were pregnant...what retarded drivel/advice not based on actual science or reality did you hear from friends, family, coworkers or random strangers? Anything from guessing the sex of the baby to your personal diet to birthing  (fark.com) (410)
(CBS News) Sappy The same security camera that captured a man stealing a family's Christmas presents also captures him returning them two days later with an apology note. Unclear if you can see his heart grow three sizes  (cbsnews.com) (13)


Tue January 03, 2012
(ABC) Interesting The bride's family pays for the wedding, the groom's for the rehearsal dinner, and the best man buys strippers for the bachelor party. But who supposed to pay for the bridalplasty?  (abcnews.go.com) (119)
(MSNBC) Obvious Fark's favorite clown car family supports Rick Santorum for President  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com) (73)


Mon January 02, 2012
(Denver Post) Weird Reason #54 why you shouldn't have your body cryogenically frozen: Every year your family might take your body out of its storage shed and drive with it around town in a hearse parade while the locals toss frozen salmon and have coffin races  (denverpost.com) (57)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Journal Star) Obvious "Another big hit was the story of a man knocked unconscious with beer can at a family gathering. A huge contingent of readers came from Fark.com, a funny news website." WE'RE FUNNY, YOU GUYS (shoutout appears after top 10 list)  (journalstar.com) (2)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Some Guy) Unlikely President of "E" Network explains why the Kardashian family is so popular, and strangely never once uses the phrase "a Dark Pact with the Infernal Lord"  (sheknows.com) (41)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Contact Music) Interesting Jewel's family set for Alaska reality show. Sarah Palin rolls her eyes, goes back to mumbling something incoherent  (contactmusic.com) (68)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Starpulse) Sad The Osbournes' family dog died over Christmas. No word if Ozzy bit its head off  (starpulse.com) (12)
(Reuters) Spiffy It's that time of the year again, Christmas shopping, spending time with family, the annual two day long Chinese pillow fight. Wait, what?  (reuters.com) (14)
(My Fox DC) Strange Family says blind man on train trip from DC to Alabama has not been sighted for quite some time  (myfoxdc.com) (30)


Mon December 26, 2011
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida What a long strange trip its been. 14 years after being left for dead, man reunites with family  (tampabay.com) (38)


Sun December 25, 2011
(Mercury News) Sad Burglars steal all of a family's Christmas presents, and also the dog. Presumably to tie a big horn to the top of his head, if they can't find a reindeer, they'll make one instead  (mercurynews.com) (24)


Sat December 24, 2011
(Some Guy) Hero Family of terminally ill 11 year old requests a few emergency vehicles drive by his house. Within 24 hours, 100 emergency vehicles give this young man an awesome farewell. Merry Christmas everyone. I'm gonna hug my kids  (firetruckblog.com) (206)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Family of seven arrives at million-dollar beach home ready to start glorious 10-day vacation. However, there's just one small problem  (sun-sentinel.com) (53)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Sad: Somebody stole an inflatable Frosty the Snowman from a family's front yard. Awesome: The captors show Frosty a good time, document the whole thing, and return him two weeks later  (heraldsun.com.au) (82)


Wed December 21, 2011
(Yahoo) Misc 12 forgotten family holiday movies  (shine.yahoo.com) (122)
(Uproxx) Spiffy Is there anything more distinctly American than hilariously awful family holiday photos? No, there is not  (uproxx.com) (110)


Tue December 20, 2011
(ok magazine) Followup Still wondering what Kim Kardashian did with her wedding gifts? Well, she played Mother Theresa ... to her family  (okmagazine.com) (32)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Car theft ring in Philly. News: It's a family affair. FARK: Cars were Older Honda Accords  (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) (32)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Huffington Post) Obvious Today's family-values-conservative politician caught using public money for gay porn brought to you by Mississippi  (huffingtonpost.com) (91)
(YouTube) Amusing The cast of "The Muppet Show," "Sesame Street," and "Fraggle Rock" join together for "A Muppet Family Christmas" originally aired December 16th 1987. Enjoy  (youtube.com) (15)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Washington Post) Followup Wait 'til the Florida Family Association finds out that Lowe's has donated to Muslim charities  (washingtonpost.com) (40)
(Yahoo) Interesting Six Walton family members have more wealth than the bottom 30% of Americans. OCCUPY MARY ELLEN  (news.yahoo.com) (287)


Wed December 14, 2011
(Think Progress) Followup Turns out most of the companies that the Florida Family Association claimed pulled their ads from All-American Muslim...didn't  (thinkprogress.org) (96)
(WQAD) Sappy 3 years, 9 months, 13 days, 2 states, and more than 70 miles later, a family is reunited with the dog they gave up for lost after it wandered away while doing its business  (wqad.com) (46)


Tue December 13, 2011
(USA Today) Interesting Lindsey Vonn watched the Tebows beat the Bears in a luxury box with Tebow's family, saying they're "just good friends." If Tebow loses his virginity to Lindsey Vonn, there might be something to this Jesus business after all  (usatoday.com) (174)


Fri December 09, 2011
(The Hollywood Reporter) Hero Brave freedom-fighters get Lowe's to stop funding terrorism by way advertising of a TLC program about a Muslim family  (hollywoodreporter.com) (302)


Wed December 07, 2011
(Some Manatee) Misc Family Guy writer's account of being arrested at Occupy LA. The Manatees submitted this with a funnier headline   (myoccupylaarrest.blogspot.com) (478)


Tue December 06, 2011
(Daily Mail) Obvious The Faked Death of the Traditional Family: How 'experts' are trying to kill off the traditional family, claiming most of us live in alternative set-ups  (dailymail.co.uk) (139)


Mon December 05, 2011
(Some dead emailer) Sad Dead woman's Yahoo email account continues to spam her family members from beyond the grave. Yahoo tells family to send them her death certificate, which they got by Googling her  (wtsp.com) (100)
(National Post) Followup Cain to support GOP candidate with family values closest to his own  (news.nationalpost.com) (108)


Sun December 04, 2011
(Daily Mail) Dumbass And you thought your holiday family gatherings were awkward  (dailymail.co.uk) (86)


Fri December 02, 2011
(CNN) Strange Family says man was killed by airplane food. Am I right, folks? Are you with me on this? 'Cause it's nuts these days, you know?  (cnn.com) (42)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Click On Detroit) Scary When asking a father's permission to marry his daughter, and the answer is no, do you: C) Go in with guns and spray acid all over the entire family?  (clickondetroit.com) (43)


Wed November 30, 2011
(USA Today) Obvious Were you planning that big family vacation to Chernobyl this year? I've got some bad news for you  (travel.usatoday.com) (30)
(MSNBC) Asinine "Sheriff Joe" Arapaio endorses Rick Perry, will campaign for him him in NH. Says he was on the fence about who to endorse until he spent a lovely weekend at the Perry family hunting lodge  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com) (51)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Daily Mail) Fail Family undertakes lawsuit after grave diggers jump on 91-year-old's casket to force it into hole that was too small  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)
(LA Times) Obvious Family puzzled that snowboarder died while wearing helmet, since everyone knows helmets grant the wearer complete invincibility in any activity  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Cool Give it up Community fans. Your show has about as much chance of getting back on the air as Family Guy, Futurama and Arrested Development do....wait, what? They did? Huh...carry on then  (aoltv.com) (86)


Sat November 26, 2011
(Daily Mail) Followup Ginger-colored seal pup rejected by family, now center of attention at Russian zoo (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Wild Turkey ruins another family holiday  (wtae.com) (10)


Thu November 24, 2011
(UPI) Silly Family decides to spare life of oyster they found because it had shapes on its shell arranged to look like a human face. Article does not say if it also resembled a bearded clam  (upi.com) (34)
(YouTube) Video Thanksgiving getting to you? Take a load off and watch Christina Ricci burn it to the ground. Here's the Thanksgiving play from "Addams Family Values"  (youtube.com) (29)
(Fark) Survey All of you weird Fark people are sort of like family members, in a way. So which weird family member are you?  (fark.com) (411)


Wed November 23, 2011
(Some Guy) Followup Not only did Jerry Sandusky allegedly enjoy molesting students, but he may have liked to keep it in the family as well  (thepostgame.com) (132)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Quad City Times) Followup Iowa's ultra-conservative, ultra-Christian group Family Leader says it will nominate either Perry, Santorum, Gingrich, or Bachmann  (qctimes.com) (412)
(Daily Mail) Scary Family claim their five-year old son is haunted by the 'man with grey skin'  (dailymail.co.uk) (119)


Sun November 20, 2011
(IndyStar) Scary You know that grenade your grandfather brought home from Korea that's now up in your attic that everybody in your family says is a dud? Yeah, about that  (indystar.com) (63)


Sat November 19, 2011
(Nola.com) Strange "There is no official protocol for a funeral to send off a member of the KISS Army, the fan club for the band started in the '70s, but it's hard to imagine doing a better job than the Negri family did for Nino"  (nola.com) (78)
(The Sun) Spiffy World's oldest dad: "I'm up, down, up, down, through the night. I don't stop. She loves it" (w/pic of happy family)  (nla.thesun.co.uk) (51)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Breitbart.com) Sad Once a bastion of patriotism and family values, the comic book industry is now a water-carrying member of the lamestream drive-by LSDBMSM mainstream media  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (121)
(azfamily.com) Unlikely Family defends toddler beauty pageants by pointing out that fake teeth, fake fingernails, and fake tans are the same as using helmets and pads in football. "That's what they need to compete"  (azfamily.com) (162)


Mon November 14, 2011
(A Dead Turkey) Asinine Thanksgiving is next week; so what has your family done already to make you totally crazy?  (veganmainstream.com) (302)
(Deadline) Followup Last night's time-travel-centric episode of Family Guy saw the world changed--for the worse--if 9/11 didn't happen. Naturally, people have a problem with this  (deadline.com) (108)


Sun November 13, 2011
(Statesman) Interesting Family of Peanuts creator Charles Schulz to sell prime commercial parcel. When reached for comment, they said: "WAAAAA WAAAAAAA, WAA WAA WAAA WAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAA"  (statesman.com) (8)


Thu November 10, 2011
(National Post) Unlikely "Try to dig up more on sibling No. 2. This person may be a better way of easing yourself into this family instead of easing yourself onto fark.com." HEY, I RESENT THAT REMARK. (shoutout in Step #3)  (arts.nationalpost.com) (8)
(Celebitchy) Obvious I don't know what the hell a Justin Bieber is, but it's not a family man  (celebitchy.com) (66)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Sappy Broke family, living in a motel: 'Sorry son, there might not be a Christmas this year.' 7-year old son: 'Not on my watch. So help me God Christmas is happening'  (cbsatlanta.com) (110)


Wed November 09, 2011
(ABC) Sad "Family Circus" cartoonist Bil Keane dead at 89. Funeral procession to pass through schoolyard, neighbor's lawn, baseball diamond, train tracks, and abandoned factory  (abcnews.go.com) (399)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Guardian) Scary If you have psychopathic tendencies and are born to a poor family, you're likely to go to prison. If you have psychopathic tendencies and are born to a rich family, you're likely to go to business school  (guardian.co.uk) (82)


Fri November 04, 2011
(The Raw Story) Asinine Here's how you can be pro-family AND a deadbeat dad congressman at the same time  (rawstory.com) (113)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup It's one thing to stab a 14-year-old to death while robbing her house, but you get a special seat in hell for taunting her family with texts from her cell phone  (chicagotribune.com) (95)
(MSNBC) Stupid More family photos with pets. With lots of 'awkward' for future trauma, embarrassment, and FUN  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (101)


Mon October 31, 2011
(CBS 4 Denver) Amusing Adorable masked intruder found in family's bathtub  (denver.cbslocal.com) (57)


Sat October 29, 2011
(some lucky cat) Caturday Spooky, a black cat named by the vet staff caring for her after she was hit by a car, has been reunited with her family just in time for the Halloween edition of Caturday   (westminster.londoninformer.co.uk) (926)


Thu October 27, 2011
(WSB TV) Cool Family says "aw hell no" to fire consuming their 3rd floor apartment, tosses infant to rescuers, lowers toddler via rope, then climbs down the outside of the building "like they were Spiderman"  (wsbtv.com) (36)


Wed October 26, 2011
(LA Times) Interesting Kadafi's family to sue NATO for the willful murder of their beloved murderer  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (105)
(Yahoo) Interesting For decades, the man's family thought he was one of John Wayne Gacy's victims. Today, the family was saddened to learn that he had actually been living in Florida the whole time  (news.yahoo.com) (68)
(WUSA9) Florida Drunk father lets nine-year-old drive family car. And no, this is not a repeat. Nine. The new sixteen  (wusa9.com) (21)


Tue October 25, 2011
(My Fox Boston) Dumbass Guy gropes teenage girl out with her family, is lucky bar bouncers were nearby to keep her father from killing him  (myfoxboston.com) (158)


Mon October 24, 2011
(SFGate) Sad Family, friends search for bipolar man last seen between Arctic and Antarctic  (sfgate.com) (15)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Daily Mail) Amusing Awkward family photos, Halloween edition  (dailymail.co.uk) (67)


Tue October 18, 2011
(C|Net) Spiffy If you plan on being a part of the Occupy Wall Street movement, you need this app that lets you quickly alert your family, friends, and lawyers that the cops have arrested you  (download.cnet.com) (95)
(The Consumerist) Florida The reason you don't want to put family on your T-Mobile plan? They may take a trip to Canada and rack up $201,000 in charges  (consumerist.com) (151)
(YouTube) Amusing Family Feud category: Name something you put in your mouth but don't swallow  (youtube.com) (70)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Daily Mail) Interesting Sportsman thanks God and family for his success. Sorry, I meant cocaine and brandy  (dailymail.co.uk) (17)


Thu October 13, 2011
(The Hollywood Reporter) Silly Seth MacFarlane talks about his new "Flintstones," why he really wants "Family Guy" to end, and he wants to reboot "Star Trek" for TV  (hollywoodreporter.com) (103)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Ironic Family says a woman who was killed afer being hit by a truck in a crosswalk "looked out for everybody"  (suntimes.com) (17)

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