Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Nominating ABBA to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame is sort of like saying the best dessert you've ever tasted was a Hostess cupcake  (time.com)	(42)

Abba won't reunite to lip-synch at Rock Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony  (rollingstone.com)

(34)

		A frame-by-frame view of TV cook Sandra Lee's reaction to a mix of lemonade, heavy cream and vodka  (youtube.com)	(50)
(Some Guy)		That thundering silence pervading the land is the reaction of liberals to the discovery that a former Democratic operative was arrested in Yemen for jihadist crimes, then murdered a guard trying to escape  (jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com)	(161)
		The U.S. isn't a democracy, time revolves around Jesus, and Hispanics have contributed nothing to society. Welcome social studies class, Texas style  (news.yahoo.com)	(379)
		Woman whose picture appeared in "Couples Retreat" sues for humiliation, embarrassment, emotional distress, shame, mortification and injury to her career. Wouldn't that apply to everyone that appeared in that movie?    (examiner.com)	(22)
		Hillary Clinton to Israel: Demonstrate that you want peace or we'll unfriend you with extreme prejudice  (washingtonpost.com)	(36)
		House Democrats tell Stupak that they can't pass his amendment because "more children will be born, and therefore it will cost us millions more." Asinine tag stands in for non-existent Double Facepalm tag  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(166)
		With health care finally coming close to passage, Republicans resort to concern trolling House Democrats  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(251)
		Democratic House candidates are more likely to mention their positions on circumcision, cat declawing, and Kirk vs. Picard than their views on health care reform  (thehill.com)	(38)
		Tea partiers send out "red alert" to protest pro-HCR democrat, are met by 5x as many pro-reform demonstrators. ouch  (dailykos.com)	(273)
		The polls are clear: Pass health care reform and the Democrats will be whacked this fall. "Wishing, praying or pretending will not change these outcomes"  (washingtonpost.com)	(432)

		If only men felt guilt and emotions the same way women do, "John Edwards wouldn't be a baby daddy and maybe Abu Ghraib would just be a little-known prison in Iraq." Here comes the science  (msnbc.msn.com)	(65)
		The "drain the swamp" Democrats cancel all commitee meetings and go behind closed doors (again) to plot ObamaCare vote  (hotair.com)	(131)
		Is democracy in Iraq working yet? 2 out of 3 eligible voters turned out to say hell yes  (cnn.com)	(179)
		Democrats already vying to be Senate majority leader next term to replace Harry Reid, who has combined the excitement of vanilla pudding with the legislative effectiveness of, well, vanilla pudding    (time.com)	(76)
		The liberal response to the Citizens United decision is that democracy is advanced only when political speech is undemocratically limited. It's a visceral response based more on emotion than reason  (reason.com)	(445)
		Sony unveils the latest "killer app" for the PS3, the Sony "Move" a revolutionary new controller that looks, and acts, precisely like the Wii remote  (abcnews.go.com)	(163)
		Hard-assed hood has brain hemorrhage and goes into coma for two weeks. Wakes up with a passion to paint, speak in rhyme, write poetry and love of kittens  (dailymail.co.uk)	(69)

		More miracles from modern medicine: "They said there was a rare, but real chance that my bottom jaw would become infected and might have to be removed"  (abcnews.go.com)	(64)
		Next time your school's booster club is having a sale of donated items, be sure to go through the stuff and remove the porn, pirated DVDs and Aryan Nation publications  (upi.com)	(79)
		There are several things the Democrat Party will never admit about the Obamacare boondoggle, the most despicable of which is that they think it's "the right thing to do." What a bunch of bleeding-heart pansies  (article.nationalreview.com)	(69)
		On Monday night, Jay Leno barely defeated David Letterman in total viewership, but Letterman beat Leno in the two most important age demographics. Jeff Zucker, you are a genius  (mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com)	(58)

Your AA battery charger may have a backdoor that allows remote computer access. No, seriously  (blogs.zdnet.com)

(101)

(Prefix Mag)		The Melvins to release new album and go on tour, which is excting news for the dozens of fans still listening to grunge    (prefixmag.com)	(48)
		Rep. Eric Massa (D-eh Ghey) says that Democratic leaders are forcing him out of office so they can pass ObamaCare  (healthcare.nationalreview.com)	(200)

(Second Amendment March)		So, a bunch of gun nuts are going to be marching in a second amendment demonstration in DC. On April 19th. The anniversary of Waco and the OKC bombing. I'm sure that's just a coincidence  (secondamendmentmarch.com)	(489)
		The Clinton family thinking about putting their little one into a Jewish Marriage Ceremony. Bill reminded the last time he put his little one into something Jewish, it didn't turn out so good    (google.com)	(44)

(TechFlash)		Microsoft sends flowers and a card to IE 6 burial ceremony. Aaawwwwwwww  (techflash.com)	(44)
		Obviously that crazed nutjob who attacked the Pentagon is a teabagger. He's one of those Truther, Bush-hating, registered Democrat teabaggers  (michellemalkin.com)	(256)

		Disney has bought the internet domain name "ant-man-themovie.com," so you may still get to see a superhero beat his wife on the big screen yet  (slashfilm.com)	(29)
		Democrats choose Rep. Sander Levin to chair Ways and Means, passing over the more senior Rep. Pete Stark, a raving looney who makes Jim Traficant look sane  (washingtonpost.com)	(50)
(Some Emo Band)		Drummer for My Chemical Romance leaves band, will be replaced by a drummer indistinguishable from himself. Their emo fanbase expected to wear a darker shade of eyeliner in mourning  (nme.com)	(22)
		Another House Democratic "yes" on health care is lost, which means Speaker Pelosi has 216 "yes" votes, the exact number needed to pass the bill. Don't anybody move or breathe  (blogs.abcnews.com)	(196)
		Old and busted: 30 Senate Republicans vote against anti-rape bill sponsored by Democrats. New Hotness: 153 House Republicans vote against anti-child abuse in schools bill sponsored by Democrats  (dailykos.com)	(223)
		Obama-era Bipartisanship: while Republicans are trying to dismantle his healthcare bill, Senate democrats are trying to neuter his financial reform package  (news.yahoo.com)	(20)
		Obama just happens to name appeals court nominee this week who just happens to be the brother of House Democrat who just happens to be undecided about health care  (weeklystandard.com)	(167)
(Some Guy)		Judge orders satirical news Web site to remove a fictional story about a giraffe killing a tourist because it scared Louisianans away from the zoo  (2theadvocate.com)	(116)
		Today's "married Republican making inappropriate advances towards young male staffer" is NY Democrat Rep. Eric Massa  (politico.com)	(100)

		Elections are bad for democracy  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(121)
		Muse has one of their songs removed from the upcoming Twilight soundtrack after the company realized the two preceeding soundtracks had the same songs with different titles  (contactmusic.com)	(18)
		Bunning comes to his senses, stops playing childish brinksmanship games and accepts reasonable compromise proposed by Democratic legislators two days ago  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(87)

		Drinking to forget can have the opposite effect and lead to more painful memories, jaws, ribs, eye sockets  (telegraph.co.uk)	(71)
		Lindsay Lohan to write memoir, which follows the Hollywood path of memoir, then music videos for heavy metal bands, followed by several rehab visits, several straight to video movies, a relapse and finally lesbian porn  (contactmusic.com)	(35)

(Some Guy)		The photo that could doom the Democrats  (thedailybeast.com)	(135)
		As goofy as the Winter Olympics Closing Ceremonies were, Neil Young's performance of "Long May You Run" was beautiful and flawless  (mtv.com)	(38)
		A rundown of the Olympic Closing Ceremony, including everything NBC thought was less important than the Marriage Ref  (vancouver2010.blogs.nytimes.com)	(63)

		Pelosi: Our bill is bipartisan. We've got both Democrats, and liberal Democrats  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(123)
(Big Journalism)		Everyone expects journalists to be mouthpieces for the Democratic Party, but reprinting a Democratic Congresman's press release word for word and putting your own name on it is going too far  (bigjournalism.com)	(44)
		Defense attorney who worked very hard for Democratic party and made large contributions to Obama campaign is finally rewarded for his efforts by being appointed to US Attorney position. Because he lacks experience, some have a problem with this  (foxnews.com)	(131)

		Baker recalls "Lemon Chalet" Girl Scout cookies after factory mix-up makes them taste like ass instead  (news.yahoo.com)	(103)
		Remodel your apartment kitchen with stuff you bought at IKEA? That's a lawsuitin'  (cbsnews.com)	(94)
		Business owners hate bad reviews on Yelp. But it's worse when the bad reviews are written by Yelp employees, who then ask for extortion money to remove them  (blogs.wsj.com)	(53)

		Bad: you have sex with a goat. Worse: you get caught. Fark: it makes international news. TotalFark: because the owner demands you initiate traditional wedding ceremonies  (news.com.au)	(67)
		Dumb jock image is a myth, athletes do well academically. Those swirlies they gave you were just a demonstration of the coriolis effect    (foxnews.com)	(184)
		Senate votes in favor of extending unemployment benefits. Just kidding, Jim Bunning (R-KY) holds up the process, tells his Democratic colleagues "tough shiat" and complains about missing a basketball game  (dailykos.com)	(131)
		When even 46% of Fox News viewers agree with Democrats on Health Care Reform, maybe its time Republicans get on board  (foxnews.com)	(302)
		Joke letter from principal accidentally sent home to parents by teacher. Parents of stupid and lazy kids want him removed. Tag is for teacher that didn't read the letter before sending it home to parents  (abc15.com)	(278)
		Obama was so anxious to listen to GOP, he spent more time talking today than all GOP participants combined. Bonus: Also exceeded total of all other Democrats  (weeklystandard.com)	(685)

(Some Guy)		Creatures from the deepest part of the ocean. Bonus: one looks like Pokemon  (frozenly.com)	(133)
		U.S. to redesign penny again, this time with shield logo replacing Lincoln Memorial  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com)	(195)
		Democrats need to stop whining about GOP filibuster threats. "Besides, has a filibuster ever prevented eventual enactment of anything significant that an American majority has desired, strongly and protractedly?"  (nypost.com)	(92)
		Conceding that today's health care summit will be as predictable as kabuki theater, Democrats work on strategy for the real negotiations to follow behind the scenes  (washingtonpost.com)	(186)

The Democratic Party's deceitful game  (salon.com)

(91)

(The Daily Beast)

Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson blames Walt Disney for "pissed-off third-graders" sending him hate mail after Pluto was demoted from planet status  (thedailybeast.com)

(131)

Miami Herald removes tip jar from its online articles after two months because they're swimming in so much freely-donated cash they just can't count it all  (miamiherald.com)

(20)

		Man arrested for trying to tap Democratic Senator's phones gets 'rock star welcome' from the Conservative Political Action Committee Conference in DC  (nola.com)	(636)
(538)		Fact: Looking at the past 30 years, deficits increase under Republican administrations and decrease under Democratic administrations, and only Clinton ran a surplus. Conclusion: both sides are bad. Wait, what?  (fivethirtyeight.com)	(155)

		Remember John Yoo, the Bush lawyer who wrote the Torture Memos? Turns out, he also said the President could legally order entire villages of civilians to be wiped out if the President felt like it  (blog.newsweek.com)	(195)
		Old and busted: Chemotherapy. New hotness: Cut out glowing cancer cells  (physorg.com)	(35)
		Fark: Hockey in danger of being removed from the Olympics due to dominance by America. Not News Anymore: It's Women's Hockey  (olympics.fanhouse.com)	(73)
		Bush administration lawyers used poor judgment, though they didn't commit professional misconduct, when they wrote memos authorizing torture  (bloomberg.com)	(305)

		US Marines seize Taliban HQ, ID's and photos of fighters. This is not even remotely a repeat of the last 8 years  (dailykos.com)	(394)
		Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) is the latest Democrat to say he can't stomach D.C. politics anymore  (foxnews.com)	(73)
		Not News: Parents ban their 6 children from technology. Fark: Picture of their house looks like it is out of Lemony Snicket  (dailymail.co.uk)	(224)
		It turns out that the only reason Windows 7 looks like a huge memory hog is because Windows 7 knows nothing else is using it at the time  (arstechnica.com)	(141)
		They tell you to use the right tool for the job. Shockingly, for removing icicles, a blowtorch turns out to be the wrong tool  (wave3.com)	(40)

John Boehner and Eric Cantor have written a letter challenging House Democratic leadership to a televised debate on jobs creation, but only if they promise not to bring the President because that didn't go so well for them last time  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)

(166)

		Canada drops the ball yet again, lets a mentally ill man with a homemade security pass through two checkpoints and to within feet of Joe Biden during Vancouver opening ceremonies  (ctvbc.ctv.ca)	(154)
		Americans don't agree on much else, but 80% of Americans, Democrats and Republicans alike, agree that the current Supreme Court is a bunch of citizen-hating corporate whores  (news.yahoo.com)	(106)
(PPP)		The vast majority of opposition to healthcare reform and DADT repeal emanates from voters who'll pull the lever for Democrats sometime after the pigs flying from Reagan's corpse's ass brew some earl grey  (publicpolicypolling.blogspot.com)	(62)
		Some Republicans, who apparently have blotted their last televised encounter with Obama from their memories, think the upcoming televised health care summit could really help them score some points with voters  (news.yahoo.com)	(192)
		IOC orders athletes to remove "Support our Troops" message from helmet because it's "political propaganda". Thanks world, we'll remember that next time your sorry asses need saving  (reuters.com)	(693)

		Why does Democratic Congressman Keith Ellison refuse to meet with the man who called him "more dangerous to American values than terrorist attacks?" What are you trying to hide Mr. Ellison?  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(86)
(Some Guy)		Candidate accuses White House, party officials of rigging election. Stupid paranoid Republica...wait, it's another Democrat?  (dailycaller.com)	(81)
(Hackaday)		Demonstration of RC GPS-controlled "Hexacopter" by someone with too much free time  (hackaday.com)	(31)
		Apparently, a good-looking ex-kids show TV presenter showing 10 things she can do with a lemon is not an audience-puller  (lep.co.uk)	(78)
		1TB solid state drives the size of a postage stamp to be available with two years, totally removing risk of Peak Porn  (physorg.com)	(76)

General Stanley McChrystal apologizes to Hamid Karzai for raining down fiery hot freedom and democracy on 12 Afghan civilians. "Oops, our bad, dude"  (bloomberg.com)

(32)

		It took the AP less than 24 hours to tie the Seattle cop shooter to Mike Huckabee, but they still haven't tied the Alabama prof. shooter to a Democrat Congressman who let her off after she shot her brother  (newsbusters.org)	(149)
		Cheney states he thinks Obama is doing a great job on national defense. Nah, just kidding, he says we're all going to die and we deserve it for voting Democrat  (washingtonpost.com)	(176)
		The coolest 360° panoramic view of the 2010 Winter Olympics ceremony you will see all day  (nytimes.com)	(42)

		Democrats intend to document Repubicans' obstructionist whining for use during election season  (washingtonpost.com)	(297)
		Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown. Do I need to say anything else?  (youtube.com)	(16)
(american news)		Obama may use recess appointment option for Becker. Outraged Republicans with selective memories banging pots and pans and throwing feces in 3...2...1  (americasnewsonline.com)	(132)
		Lawmaker vows to impose a cigarette tax after his mother dies of emphysema after nearly 50 years of smoking. Because that's just what this country needs: taxes enacted by kneejerk, emotional, deeply personal motivations  (sltrib.com)	(169)

		Democrats resort to 'Plan B' in order to get a health care bill passed  (foxnews.com)	(390)
(Vancouver 2010)		Opening ceremonies of the XXI Winter Olympics from rainy, snowless Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. 9ET, 6PT  (vancouver2010.com)	(2409)
		In memory of Bufu, please join the DC Farkers at 5pm on Saturday the 13th  (fark.com)	(148)
		Reid kills bipartisan jobs bill after Democrats complain it's bipartisan  (thehill.com)	(141)

(The Star Press)		Remember how the Democrats in Congress would say that raising the minimum wage would help Americans and actually create jobs? Um, yeah, about that  (thestarpress.com)	(180)
		Americans are represented by two separate but equally different political parties: the democrats who advocate liberalism, and the republicans who have Michael Moriarty claiming John McCain is a secret democrat. This is his latest whargarrbl  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(46)
		Cubs outfield this summer may consist of Elton John, Billy Joel, and Dave Matthews. When the new owners said no more high priced talent, someone didn't get the memo  (670thescore.com)	(37)
		"What, one wonders, will Democrats have to say about the filibuster when Sarah Palin is jamming through her first-year agenda as president?"  (realclearpolitics.com)	(602)
		Swedish hockey player forgets to remove skate guards...hilarity ensues  (bareknucks.com)	(26)

Baltimore, D.C. officials decide it's a good idea to halt snow removal operations during snowstorm  (foxnews.com)

(227)

(Some Guido)		"Chinese Democracy is The White Album for GN'R"  (ultimate-guitar.com)	(64)
(Daily Beast)		We can thank the Democratic Party for "Birtherism"  (thedailybeast.com)	(218)
(Some Guy)		Democratic lawmaker gets knocked out because he was blocking the view of the belly dancers. Republicans want singles for tips. Not for the belly dancers, for the guy who knocked him out  (newsnet5.com)	(97)

		Our Iranian friends, in an effort to demonstrate their benevolent intentions, announce Feb. 11 unveiling of "Fist of Peace"  (foxnews.com)	(402)
		Sarah Silverman: I'm done dating narcoleptic fat guys who are emotional bullies  (nypost.com)	(130)

		Behold, the meanest prank of all time: "The Buried Alive Prank"  (examiner.com)	(76)
		Democrat shows up at event wearing Army General's uniform with "more medals than George Patton," may end up spending the next 3-5 defending his Privates  (chron.com)	(201)

		Twenty-eight years ago, the J. Geils Band had the number one song with their biggest hit, Centerfold. Your memory has just been sold  (youtube.com)	(66)
		GOP proposes budget, including privatizing social security, slashing benefits. Democrats: "Okay, let's vote on it." Republicans: "Just kidding, LOL. You didn't think we were serious, did you?"  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(185)

		New Gallup poll shows that 36% of Americans, including 53% of Democrats and 61% of liberals, view socialism positively  (gallup.com)	(213)
		Teabaggers take note: "To describe our democracy as a totalitarian regime insults the lives and memories of people that live under this and other terrible conditions."  (dailykos.com)	(170)
		Democrats 2008: Enlighted Americans have wisely chosen hope and change. Democrats 2010: Americans are evil morons  (article.nationalreview.com)	(156)
		That blanket hold Senator Shelby (R-AL) is using to extort earmarks from the Democrats? It's to benefit a foreign company  (dailykos.com)	(135)
		Bruce Springsteen's people sue bar after cover band played Springsteen songs back in 2008. Surely, the Boss will not stand for this and side with the little people. Nah, he just wants his name removed from lawsuit  (nydailynews.com)	(15)
		Statue of President Obama as a 10-year-old boy to be removed from public park in Jakarta after people complain that he wasn't even born there. LOL - what kind of backwards country throws such a fit about where Obama was born?    (nytimes.com)	(50)
		Environmental activists would like makers of household cleaners to tell us exactly what's in them. Cleaner industry says we should simply trust them not to put anything harmful in there, and to enjoy the new lemony-carcinogeny scent    (news.yahoo.com)	(70)
		After only one month as defensive coordinator with the University of Florida, George Edwards accepts a demotion to the Buffalo Bills  (sports.yahoo.com)	(8)
(rushisaband.com)		Rush rumored to perform in Vancouver Winter Olympics opening ceremony. In other news, ethnic make up of Rush concert audiences unchanged    (rushisaband.com)	(54)
		"There won't be an NFL lockout. If there is, Roger Goodell should be institutionalized, examined by a team of psychiatrists, removed from office and replaced by Pacman Jones"  (msn.foxsports.com)	(43)

(JOY TIZ)		Nazi collaborator and Democratic financier George Soros regarding confiscating valuables from innocent Jews, and serving death camp warrants: "If I didn't do it, someone else would."  (joytiz.com)	(371)
		Obama has a (carefully scripted) Q&A with (hand-selected) Democrats (who are in tough reelection races) to address their concerns (and give them lots of soundbites for their upcoming campaigns)  (blogs.wsj.com)	(134)

		Remember how hot Daisy Duke was? Yeah, hold onto that memory. (pics)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(119)
		Expectant mothers need to stop using pregnancy as an excuse for... well, let's start with "memory lapses"  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(129)
		Cue your flowcharts: Obama chides Democrats, telling them GOP doesn't have a 41-59 majority  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(172)
		A beautiful photographic demonstration of failing to think your cunning plan all the way through  (telegraph.co.uk)	(95)
(Red State)		Tied to Blago, Rezko, and The Mob. Looks like Illinois Democrats have found themselves a new Senator  (redstate.com)	(45)

"In summary, you must've either had your heart removed by corn tongs or be in the Manning family if you're not pulling for the Saints. Betting on them? You must've had your brain removed. "  (sports.espn.go.com)

(196)

		Research 2000 poll demonstrates what we all already knew about Republicans: 39% think Obama should be impeached, only 42% think he was born in the US, and only 24% think ACORN didn't steal the election for him  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(253)
		"Many people ask me whether the Democrats are in as much trouble as they were in 1994. The numbers suggest they are in much deeper trouble"  (washingtonexaminer.com)	(435)

		55 years ago RCA demonstrates the first music synthesizer. Here's a sample of what that got us: Devo - Mongoloid  (youtube.com)	(37)
		Jon Hamm hosted SNL and played Senator Scott Brown in a sketch that brought all the Democratic leaders to the yard for a taste of his milkshake  (tv.gawker.com)	(50)

		Women's Studies programs removed from Canadian universities: "These courses has done untold damage to families, our court systems, labour laws, constitutional freedoms and even the ordinary relations between men and women"  (nationalpost.com)	(399)
		We can dress real neat from our hats to our feet, you can act real rude and be totally removed, you can turn the lights up bright and we'll boycott the night S-A-F-E-T-Y D-A-N-C-E  (pennlive.com)	(30)
(FDL)		Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-eally in office way too long) threatens republican obstruction if the democrats don't try acting bipartisan for once  (firedoglake.com)	(30)
		Obama admits that Democrats let some provisions 'sneak into' health care legislation that violate his promises that citizens who like their insurance, doctors can keep them  (realclearpolitics.blogs.time.com)	(64)
		"Why do people often vote against their own interests?" Democrat African-Americans and gay Republicans unavailable for comment  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(118)

New Natalie Portman/Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie is just like a White Snake song  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)

(24)

		How Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's role in "The Tooth Fairy" brings back memories of Sly Stallone in "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" and other tough-guy fail films  (starpulse.com)	(124)
		Ashley Judd is writing her memoirs. Hopefully, she talks about those two episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. You know the episodes I'm talking about  (starpulse.com)	(84)

		Iowa's two senators, Republican Chuck Grassley and Democrat Tom Harkin, say they will both vote against confirming Ben Bernake to a second term. SOLIDARITY BABY  (qctimes.com)	(33)
(Some Guy)		Pittsburgh Pirates to add a statue celebrating Bill Mazeroski, honoring his memory as the last Pirate player who ever did anything  (post-gazette.com)	(49)
		Judge rules that a woman's pursuit of acting like an ass at the Jefferson Memorial is grounds enough to toss her in jail. The outcome was self-evident  (myfoxdc.com)	(144)
		Desperate Democrats, after a drunken night of awkard fondling and waking up hung over, are scrambling to find Plan B  (hotair.com)	(43)
		Put away the tinfoil hat; someone has advice on how you can remove that alien implant from your brain. OR DO THEY?  (io9.com)	(57)

		"If corporations are persons, they are - if they behave as Milton Friedman wanted them to - persons with mental and emotional impairments so severe that any decent judge would feel entirely justified in declaring them incompetent."  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(178)
(Rothenberg Report)		Polls indicate Republicans may pick up 28 seats in the House this fall, cutting the Democratic majority and scaring the living botox out of Nancy Pelosi  (rothenbergpoliticalreport.blogspot.com)	(171)
		James Carville in November, 2008: 40 years of Democrats rule. 2010: Blame Bush for loss of filibuster-proof Senate  (ft.com)	(140)
		Acclaimed author and music geek Michael Chabon muses on death of commercial radio and oldies stations on which he used to hear enjoyable and memorable tunes from his youth, but now only hears "Sussudio"  (sfgate.com)	(69)

(Some Guy)

If you need money for college fans of Star Trek can win a $500 Starfleet Academy Scholarship. The Klingon Language Institute awards $500 for a Memorial Scholarship for language study. bachHa  (pittsburghlive.com)

(54)

(Mich News)

"It's more than a little ironic that Democrats praised Dred Scott when it was handed down over a hundred years ago, yet now stand opposed to fundamental freedoms such as free speech today."  (michnews.com)

(294)

		Paul Krugman to House Democrats: Hey, be a man  (nytimes.com)	(94)
		Pulitzer Board denies National Enquirer prize for Edwards scoop, already awarded Pulitzer to Obama for presidential memoir he hasn't written yet    (abcnews.go.com)	(32)
(Open Secrets)		Want to know why Democrats are so up in arms about yesterdays SCOTUS decision? Maybe it's because it might take away their advantage in fundraising  (opensecrets.org)	(426)
		Fifty-five percent of Americans support putting the brakes on health care reform in order to obtain a compromise with Republicans, while 40 percent think Democrats should instead throttle up and just make the impending trainwreck happen already  (gallup.com)	(415)
		Unemployed British woman sets world record by collecting 12,113 different Pokemon items. She plans to celebrate the achievement with the boyfriend she clearly doesn't have  (breitbart.com)	(92)
		Health care reform teeters on the brink of collapse as Democratic leaders discover that there's no way to appease the left wing and assuage the fears of centrists after the Massachusetts election  (politico.com)	(186)

		And now for something completely different, here's a heavyset teen lighting his pants ablaze, then demonstrating a new dance: The Crotchfire Shuffle  (liveleak.com)	(31)
		Under pressure, Trijicon will remove the God code from its scopes. Military casualties expected to skyrocket  (abcnews.go.com)	(513)
(The Agitator)		DCCC attacks "right-wing extremist group" Cato Institute. You know, the same Cato that's to the left of the Democrats on national security, immigration, civil liberties, criminal justice, and foreign policy  (theagitator.com)	(151)
		President Obama congratulates Brown on a fine campaign. Just kidding, he blames Bush for the voters not picking a Democrat. "People are angry and they are frustrated because of what's happened over the last eight years"  (abcnews.go.com)	(220)
(Billboard)		Musicians performing at the Grammy Awards will stay after the ceremony in order to record a single entitled "We Are the World" to benefit victims of a recent tragedy. This is not a repeat from 1985  (billboard.com)	(47)
		Democrats come to stark realization: "Every state is in play"  (politico.com)	(288)
		President Obama unleashes his secret weapon: The Volckernator. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until all the bankers are dead  (nytimes.com)	(115)
		Swedish students occupy brewery as part of a series of demonstrations aimed at convincing management to build a beer pipeline to their university  (thelocal.se)	(37)
		Republicans refuse to join bipartisan budget deficit panel, on the grounds that fixing the problem would make the Democrats look good  (nytimes.com)	(232)

		New research suggests that babies fed porridge are less likely to develop asthma, demonstrating once again that you have to be gruel to be kind  (dailymail.co.uk)	(31)
		Rahm Emanuel calls Martha Coakley a brain-dead moron surrounded by a bunch of sycophants. Or, your typical Liberal Democrat  (politico.com)	(208)
		"If Scott Brown wins today, Democrats go from having the largest Senate majority since the 1970s to...the second largest Senate majority since the 1970s."  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(166)
		Jeff Beck's first new album in seven years, Emotion Commotion, will be released on April 13th, meaning there will be at least one CD worth buying that month  (rollingstone.com)	(40)
(Some Guy)		"If Coakley loses, Democrats will only have an 18 vote majority in the Senate... A bigger majority than George W Bush EVER had in the Senate when he did whatever. The. F*ck. He wanted"  (thedailyshow.com)	(331)
(Cato-at-Liberty)		The list of tax hikes Obama and Democrats have proposed include higher income, business and excise taxes, a VAT, and a tax on soda. Not proposed: A tax on rapacious statism  (cato-at-liberty.org)	(404)
		Bipartisanship in action: both Republicans and Democrats in Indiana want cameras to give you speeding tickets  (thenewspaper.com)	(79)

		Popemobile quality control tester freed from Turkish prision  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(62)
		Democrats play the same tired old song, "Blame Bush" for Martha Coakley's failing Senate bid. Seriously, are you guys going to get a new tune before 2012?  (hotlineoncall.nationaljournal.com)	(300)
		MSNBC host advocates voter fraud in Massachusetts to keep Democrat seat  (washingtontimes.com)	(245)

		If Democrats lose Ted Kennedy's seat, Senate may bypass that whole "voting" thing on health care reform  (news.yahoo.com)	(168)
		Guns n' Roses plays first concert since "Chinese Democracy". The show took twenty years to do, was stopped half way though and started over, and was met with a giant meh from the audience  (rollingstone.com)	(28)

		"Art is not porn," according to article demonstrating that Australia's pornography laws are just as insane as the rest of the world's  (smh.com.au)	(37)
(Some Guy)		750 mattress sets recalled. Bet you wish you didn't remove those tags now, Mr. Question Authority  (wbaltv.com)	(31)

		Police solve case of wedding crasher who stole expensive camera equipment, memory card, meatloaf  (wesh.com)	(45)
		Heroic Democratic People's Republic of Korea generously offers to assist imperialist running dog lackey stooges of south Korea in disposing of their corrupt food surplus  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(101)
		Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee: "Oops - sorry about using the WTC to illustrate corporate greed in our attack ad"  (politico.com)	(175)

		Lemony Snicket author speaks to grade school, asks one kid "Is life getting you down? Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?"  (timesonline.co.uk)	(72)
		Ringo Starr said he won't write his memoirs; this shouldn't be a surprise, as writing doesn't come easy to drummers  (contactmusic.com)	(20)
		"King of all Witches" announces plan to stand for election to British parliament. Expected to score highly amongst the "weighs as much as a duck" demographic  (telegraph.co.uk)	(36)
		Keyboard commandos living in their mother's basement were able to scrounge up $1 billion for copies of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Condom sales among the demographic, uneffected  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(190)

(American Spectator)		Yep, it's who you know: Democrats reward labor unions for their political support by exempting them from the proposed surtax on high-priced "Cadillac" health care plans  (spectator.org)	(384)
		Democratic Senate candidate Martha Coakley says she doesn't know why a member of her entourage knocked a reporter to the ground, as she was too busy attending a fundraiser put on by health care industry lobbyists  (news.bostonherald.com)	(64)
		Man busted for raping his wife while she was recovering from chemotherapy. And they say romance is dead  (stltoday.com)	(250)
		Have Republicans already won in Massachusetts? Democrats already lost? Are 4 chicken nuggets enough, 6 too many?  (blogs.abcnews.com)	(246)
		Sex party held by three elderly men ends with one shot in the head. Next time, just make lemonade  (gawker.com)	(96)

		Paul Krugman points out that Europe has far higher taxes and unemployment than the US, which proves that social democracy in Europe works. Wait, what?  (nytimes.com)	(415)
		Former Bush DOJ lawyer and "torture memo" author John Yoo describing his many briefings with the President crafting the administration's views on what is and isn't torture: "I've never met the man."  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(72)
		In one of the most uplifting sports stories in recent memory, former St. Louis Blues player Mike Danton is going back to college hockey in an attempt to eventually break back into the NHL after an unexpected 5-year absence  (sports.yahoo.com)	(60)
		Man crushed by falling computer gear, will forever be in our memory    (abc.net.au)	(151)
		Photoshop this ceremonial stomping  (online.wsj.com)	(42)

		Reporter at C.E.S. breaks "unbreakable" phone in three seconds during live demonstration  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(113)
		News: Man with hiccups spends two years scouring world for cure. Tries yoga, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, pickled plums, mustard, vinegar and water. Fark: Finally has tumor removed from brain stem  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(77)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this accideMOVE ALONG NOTHING TO SEE HERE  (i45.tinypic.com)	(74)
		Double standard failing to work, Democrats now playing the race Card in their attempt to save the foundering USS Harry Reid  (news.yahoo.com)	(877)

Democrats make contingency plans to block Republican from taking office if he wins election for Ted Kennedy's seat  (bostonherald.com)

(125)

		Not News: Somebody makes a racist comment about Obama. News: It's a Senator. Fark: It was Democrat Harry Reid who talked about Obama's skin tone and "lack of negro dialect."  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(750)
(NME)		Yoko Ono to write her memoirs. Experts believe the book will peak at #9 on bestseller lists  (nme.com)	(34)
(Some Guy)		Outraged cyclists ask Facebook to remove group promoting violence against bicyclists. In accordance to their Terms of Use, Facebook complies. Just kidding. Facebook: "Hit the road, hipsters"  (sf.streetsblog.org)	(328)

Obama considering pushing State of the Union address back to February 2nd in hopes the Health Care Bill is passed by then. The problem? He's in danger of pissing off a very passionate, vocal demographic: "Lost" fans  (washingtonpost.com)

(99)

		The last B. Dalton's is closing. Subby toasts their memory with his Orange Julius    (startribune.com)	(110)
		New HDTV designed for seniors. It shuts off if you fall asleep, the remote has only six buttons, and half the channels run "Murder She Wrote"  (nypost.com)	(41)
		Chris Dodd's retirement could actually help the Democrats hold on to his Senate seat  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(60)
		The Rise and Fall of the Democrat Party or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Carnage  (abcnews.go.com)	(149)
		In an announcement that has nothing whatsoever to do with three prominent Democrats "retiring", Obama wants to fast track a final health care bill  (content.usatoday.com)	(254)
		Be sure to remove the security sticker before you microwave your batteries  (techeblog.com)	(26)
		Old and busted: Buying the naming rights to a stadium. New hotness: Buying the naming rights to a stadium's demolition  (dallasnews.com)	(20)

		Even C-Span thinks the Democrats may be hiding something in these non-televised behind the scenes "health care reform" talks  (c-span.org)	(463)
(Watertown Daily Times)		New York sewage company to begin treating local water supply to remove mercury released by mining operations. Subby's sure he read something like this in an Hg Wells short story years ago  (watertowndailytimes.com)	(127)
		Sean Penn has rejoined the cast of the upcoming Three Stooges film. Looks like the raping of our childhood memories is back on  (starpulse.com)	(79)
(Some Guy)		Look, folks, the Smiley emocon has been around since the 40s. Stop trying to act like you invented it and stop suing people for using it. Mmkay? :)  (thepittsburghchannel.com)	(136)

		GOP House candidate puts things in perspective: The fight against the Democrats is bigger than the fight against terrorism  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(190)
		Democrats plan to run against George W. Bush in 2010 and 2012  (msnbc.msn.com)	(251)
		Problem: You're a Blue Dog Democratic Congressman from Alabama. Solution: Switch parties. Problem: You're a Republican Congressman from Alabama and your entire staff has resigned because you switched parties  (dailykos.com)	(115)
		One more reason to hate the Olympics: Hurdler has her fake boobs removed so she can perform better. "Yep, I'm back to being flat as a pancake"  (news.com.au)	(66)
		As Obama's descending approval rating sets new records, Democrats whine about the pollster  (hotair.com)	(214)

		Why Time didn't name Obama Man of the Year: buyer's remorse. "Very uncomfortable for those in the media who played the cheerleader for Mr. Obama, who skated by controversies that would have sunk other candidates"  (theglobeandmail.com)	(123)
		Even the AP is openly mocking Democrats' "jobs" bill  (finance.yahoo.com)	(92)
(NME)		Coldplay raises over $400,000 for charity with their eBay auction of rare band memorabilia. They can probably raise even more if they threaten to disclose the names of people who bought said merchandise  (nme.com)	(14)
		Can Miami keep the defending Super Bowl champs out of the playoffs? Will Mangini have a job come January? Is that Peyton Manning in the popemobile? It's your week 17 NFL discussion thread  (sports.espn.go.com)	(lots)
(American Conservative)		"To her supporters, it really doesn't matter whether Palin has a 20-point plan for this or that or a strategic foreign policy vision because the bond to her is emotional rather than intellecutal"  (amconmag.com)	(339)
(Big Texan 72oz Challenge)		Watch webcam video of Joey Chestnut, professional competitive eater, demolish a 72oz steak with baked potato, shrimp cocktail, salad and dinner roll in just under 9 minutes  (bigtexan.com)	(62)

		Researchers discover plane abandoned in Antarctica back in 1912. Passengers in a state of suspended animation while flight crew awaits delivery of lemon-soaked paper napkins    (msnbc.msn.com)	(116)
		Welcome to 2010, Gen-Xers. We have no intention of ceasing the systematic rape and torture of your pop-cultural memories. Love, Hollywood  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(84)
		Democrats plan to run against GOP record on national security. Wait, what?  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(114)

(Some Atheist)

In response to new Irish blasphemy law in effect today, Atheist Ireland publishes list of 25 blasphemous quotes  (blasphemy.ie)

(442)

		Celebrities aren't the only ones who enjoy inflicting challenging names on their children, just ask Crystal Sunshine Turpin Lemons  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(199)
		Democrats move to change Presidential election rules. How conveeeenient  (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)	(144)
(Grand Junction Sentinel)		Colorado Democrat thinks animals' lives are twice as valuable as humans'  (gjsentinel.com)	(134)

		Politicians and the media are tougher on Obama's terrorism responses than they were on Bush. "This hypocrisy demonstrates Republicans are playing politics with issues of national security and terrorism."  (azcentral.com)	(140)
		Sportswriter who's made a career writing about the private lives of athletes bemoans sportswriters writing about the private lives of atheletes  (freep.com)	(32)

(Some Guy)

Science is not a democracy: when the wisdom of crowds isn't wise  (scienceblogs.com)

(292)

		Scientists successfully resurrect extinct species of goat, plan to open remote island theme park. This could end baaaaaaadly  (telegraph.co.uk)	(36)
		Senate Democrats tell the White House to drop any kind of effort to pass a cap-and-trade bill. You read it right  (politico.com)	(89)
		Ever wonder why Illinois has two Democratic senators? Republican senatorial candidate runs ad that suggests his opponent "is a homosexual"  (suntimes.com)	(121)
		Through their overreaching arrogance, Democrats have succeeded in awakening a sleeping giant - regular Americans. They now climb out of their recliners to have a little cheese dip, assault the Fortresses of Socialism  (townhall.com)	(681)
		Lady Gaga given a commemorative plaque after "The Fame" sold 8 million albums this year alone. Talk about a crossover artist  (contactmusic.com)	(59)
		Ashlee Simpson forgets the name of the actor who plays the male lead opposite her character in "Chicago" during live TV interview; blames her drummer for the memory lapse    (starpulse.com)	(56)

(Some Guy)

Study finds tremors originating deep underground caused by gravity of sun and moon, giant subterranean worm-creatures  (myfoxphoenix.com)

(30)

The Democrats overreached. They have tried to push a centrist country to the left, and therefore they're going to lose a lot of seats in the November election  (corner.nationalreview.com)

(529)

(Some Guy)

Chickasaw Nation makes generous donation to OU Cancer Institute, will be renamed Chemosabe Research Center  (normantranscript.com)

(71)

		Super cabbie's altruistic trek brings hemoglobin  (independent.co.uk)	(60)
		Garbage-removal company deals with billing disputes by blocking customers' driveways with dumpsters full of trash and leaving it there until they pay up  (upi.com)	(37)
		One uppity atheist in San Francisco gets all stars and angels removed from all county department Christmas trees  (nytimes.com)	(273)

(CQ Politics)		In the hours before Parker Griffith flipped to the Republicans, he got them a Christmas present: Democratic voter ID  (blogs.cqpolitics.com)	(36)
(Some Bad Bus Driver)		Rivers Cuomo of Weezer has put out an open invitation to help him with his new demo. What could possibly go wrong?  (weezer.com)	(22)
(538)		Fivethirtyeight identifies the most valuable and most useless Democrats. Here comes the math  (fivethirtyeight.com)	(60)
		Dutch court considers removing young girl sailor from her father's custody, concerned about her rudderless upbringing  (abcnews.go.com)	(40)
		Massachusetts state senator on home confinement for DWI blames toothpaste for positive alcohol check, will need to stagger around pantsless and maul a few cocktail waitresses before he can expect full Democratic support  (telegram.com)	(60)

(Stereogum)		14 best band feuds of 2009. In regards to Vampire Weekend, Alice Cooper spoke the truth when asking: "What happened to the balls in rock 'n' roll?"  (stereogum.com)	(52)
		Another Congressman switches parties. He's going from Democrat to Republican. Wait, really? :checks: Yup, really  (politico.com)	(234)
		Tiger Woods approval numbers falls in every demographic except cocktail waitresses  (cnn.com)	(50)
		Canada considers putting anti-cancer enzyme in french fries and potato chips, kind of like how they used to put chemotherapy in your old CRT TV  (google.com)	(37)

		Traitorous Democrats delay troop funding... wait, we're getting a correction. Patriotic Republicans delay troop funding bill  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(240)
		Sen. Tom Coburn (Morals & Values) prays that a Senate Democrat falls down the stairs on the way to vote for health care reform. No, really  (dailykos.com)	(146)
		The Story of the Christmas Krampus: Farker's tribute to Santa's demonic enforcer, muppets  (youtube.com)	(22)
		GOP's new prayer guru says gays possessed by demons. No, really  (alternet.org)	(169)

(Lubbock Online)

Waylon Jennings' brother honors his memory with a combination museum/drive-thru liquor store  (lubbockonline.com)

(23)

		Democrats' 2010 election strategy is as fresh as their legislative ideas: Blame Bush  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(180)
		Sen. Ben Nelson bought off for number 60. Democrats are now free to subvert the will of the American people  (foxnews.com)	(√-1)

Man jailed for killing wife with TV remote. Large volume of pleas for leniency through the proper channels meet with muted response  (bbc.co.uk)

(74)

Dick Durbin (D-uh), Senate Majority Whip, third highest ranking Democrat in the Senate: I'm completely in the dark on what's in the health care reform bill  (thehill.com)

(77)

		Following the tomato-hurling event at Sarah Palin's Mall of America book signing, Salt Lake City CostCo removes all tomatoes from the store prior to Palin visit  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(192)
		Puget Sound residents should be preparing for "megathrust tremor swarms"...giggity  (sciencedaily.com)	(62)

		RNC Chair Michael Steele: "The Democrats are accusing us Republicans of trying to delay and stonewall their government takeover of health care. You know what? They're finally right."  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(171)
		Despite little outward evidence, proposed Botox and plastic surgery tax evoking deep emotional reactions  (chron.com)	(123)
		Over 65 researchers and medical students confirm that removing a Band-Aid quickly is less painful than removing one slowly. Still no cure for cancer  (abc.net.au)	(59)

		Four times as many Democrats view their party unfavorably as Republicans. Oh yeah? What Right Wing rag came up with those numbers? Fox? NRO? Nope. Daily Kos  (dailykos.com)	(379)
		December 1979 interview with Joe Strummer: "Every time Bob Geldof comes out with that emotionless eunuch's voice, it boosts me ten miles in the soul, just for the irritation."  (flickr.com)	(10)
		Democrats override Republican filibuster on spending bill that also kills a school voucher program, overturns bans on needle exchange and abortion funding, promotes medical marijuana. It's good to be in charge  (nytimes.com)	(225)

		Congress: "Maybe we shouldn't give taxpayer money to ACORN to give to pimps." Liberal Activist Judges: "LOL, nice try, here's some cash, ACORN." Citizens: "Uh, what about democracy?"  (salon.com)	(196)
		Rent-A-Husband founder faces fraud filing. Female customers thought they were getting something other than a guy who would just arrive, open a beer, watch sports, and hog the remote  (wcsh6.com)	(40)

		Coldplay is auctioning off a decade's worth of music memorabilia for charity. Guess they don't want to be associated with their gold and platinum records either  (contactmusic.com)	(10)
		Queen's second, SECOND version of Bohemian Rhapsody called "The Behemothian Potpourri"  (youtube.com)	(30)
		GA democratic leader offers advice to man trying to become the first black governor of GA: "You cannot curse Bubba and Cooter, Big Man and June Bug in the daytime and beg them at night." Sage advice, whatever the hell it means  (dyn.politico.com)	(40)

		"Citigroup, a dysfunctional, unmanageable behemoth of a bank that nearly toppled the world into Mad Max-style anarchy"  (forbes.com)	(35)
		Democrats and Republicans are now equally hated. So, congratulations on that  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(95)
		R. Kelley's working on a new memoir. It's as yet untitled, so it is a golden opportunity to shower him with suggestions  (news.yahoo.com)	(27)
		If you get a TV remote control stuck in your ass after what is described as "a drunken prank", rest assured you will make Fark.com. X-rays? Bonus  (mirror.co.uk)	(292)
(Wired.co.uk)		Remote-controlled levitation  (wired.co.uk)	(16)
		Dalai Lama believes that Obama's Nobel Prize is "a little early," declares that he would have selected Axl Rose for finally bringing about Chinese Democracy  (foxnews.com)	(258)
		Obama demands Republicans stop scaring people, saying that's Democrats' job. Besides, he has charts showing everything is improving. As every Farker knows, charts bring stupid arguments to a screeching halt  (thehill.com)	(105)

		Never visited any remote Pacific islands like Tahiti before? Better hurry before they're drowned  (abcnews.go.com)	(256)
		One more time for those who missed the memo: 1. Since you might someday lose your mobile phone, don't use it to shoot videos of sex. 2. Particularly your own. 3. Especially if it's with your dog  (edinburghnews.scotsman.com)	(144)
		Two hot teachers didn't get the memo about having sex with students, are suspended from their jobs for sex... with each other. (Pics)  (nydailynews.com)	(532)

		With the EPA carbon decision, "The White House has opened a Pandora's box that will be difficult to close, that is breathtakingly undemocratic, and that the country, if not liberal politicians, will come to regret"  (online.wsj.com)	(201)
		Woman removed from Tiger's home on advanced life support, so that's a two-stroke penalty  (wesh.com)	(425)
(Volunteer TV)		Annual reading of Christmas story cancelled from tree lighting ceremony, because one person called Mayor's office asking "Is it legal?"  (volunteertv.com)	(389)

		"When free marketers warn that Democratic health care initiatives will make us more 'like France,' a big part of me says, 'I wish,'" says Ironic-tag-exploding editor of libertarian magazine Reason  (reason.com)	(293)
		France in mourning after the death of a 146-year old known for his "demonstrative lovemaking"  (guardian.co.uk)	(60)
		Drunken Taiwanese political candidate shoots rival's sister after being defeated in election. Who knew democracy could be this interesting?  (timesonline.co.uk)	(20)

		Having demonstrated his unparalleled cinematic prowess in Transformers 2, Michael Bay moves on to the next level: Victorias Secret ads. Yes, there are explosions. Yes, there are lens flares  (dailymail.co.uk)	(54)
		Brown pelicans removed from the endangered list in U.S., which means you can go back to serving them over rice with a nice chianti  (features.csmonitor.com)	(26)

Your trip down GenX Memory Lane .. good luck getting this tune out of your head: CHAR-leee  (youtube.com)

(32)

		Democrats in Congress: Hey, we'd like to co-sponsor your joke amendment to the health reform bill forcing Congress onto the public option, because we think the public option is actually pretty good. Republicans: Psych  (thinkprogress.org)	(162)
		Democrats who complained about Medicare Part D when the Bush administration enacted it are now going to address it in the health care bill. By making it worse  (online.wsj.com)	(25)
		Hey, nobody ever compared Bush to Hitler, says Democratic senator who was deaf, dumb and blind from 2001-2009  (hotair.com)	(191)
		Plagiarism charges against Stephanie Meyer have been dismissed, which means she is indeed the one responsible for all of this emo sparkly vampire bullshiat  (moviesblog.mtv.com)	(86)
		Senate Democrats seek to strip protection for citizen journalism from press shield law  (hotair.com)	(163)

(Some Guy)		Obama demands that F22 Raptor be removed and replaced with the ancient F15 as the backdrop. The event was honoring the pilots and crews of the F22  (thecable.foreignpolicy.com)	(547)
		Get ready to have a geekasm. Intel has just demonstrated a fully programmable 48-core processor  (news.cnet.com)	(134)

(Political Wire)		Proving just as willing to blame others as their heterosexual counterparts, Log cabin Republicans blame Democrats for failure of marrige equaility bill that had zero Republican support  (politicalwire.com)	(89)
(azfamily.com)		It will cost a school district $1 million to remove software installed by a school employee that searches for extraterrestrial intelligence  (azfamily.com)	(389)
		Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe(R-ME)², realizing that their constituents are in favor of health care reform, decide to try to work with Democrats in the Senate to get to 60 votes since Joe Lieberman(I-CT) and Ben Nelson(D-NE) won't  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(188)

		Annual Fark demographics survey. Results will be posted next week. Help us figure out who that one guy coming from the .va domain is  (fark.com)	(∞)
		If you had England as the next Western Democracy after Iceland to face bankruptcy, step forward and claim your prize  (business.timesonline.co.uk)	(40)

		Box-office success of "New Moon" is comforting for future of movies, since it shows girl power is finally overcoming hegemony of overgrown teenage boys who traditionally produce and greenlight films  (movie-critics.ew.com)	(90)
		NFL Commish Goodell is going to issue a memo saying that if a player is "woozy, has general dementia or memory loss," he must leave the game, the net effect of which will be more games featuring third string QBs  (670thescore.stats.com)	(73)

IAEA sends strongly worded memo to Iran, U.S. hints at larger font sizes to come    (telegram.com)

(90)

		Radiohead and Elbow are auctioning off some of their musical memorabilia to raise money for landmine victims  (contactmusic.com)	(29)
		"Behind the petrol pumps, beyond the giant plastic whale that is beached on the forecourt - supposedly to attract customers - is the remotest hole on the world's longest golf course. It's called Dingoes Den" (pics)  (timesonline.co.uk)	(5)
		Good Charlotte apologize for making emo music that got their fans beat up: "I guess if you're gonna dress like you listen to The Cure all the time, you're gonna get s... for it"  (news.com.au)	(36)
		Super Lemon Haze wins Cannabis Cup over Vanilla Kush and Head Bang. Totally righteous, dude  (celebstoner.com)	(119)

		A picture is worth 1000 words has never before been so aptly demonstrated  (youtube.com)	(40)
(Some Thief)		When removing furniture and belongings, you'll appreciate the efficient, professional service of a removal firm. Particularly if you're a burglar and it's not your house  (thisisnottingham.co.uk)	(15)
(Xinhua)		Scientists discover primitive emotion-like behavior in fruit flies. Next week's news: PETA demands rights for fruit flies  (news.xinhuanet.com)	(14)

(Some bereaved bovine)		Spotted cow removed from Mad River in NY. The image in your mind's eye is wrong  (lacrossetribune.com)	(91)
(Riehl World View)		Gays: Hey Democrats, here's some money. Dems: Thanks. Gays: So when are you going to schedule a vote on gay marriage? Dems: What's that? Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of my sucking up to moderates  (riehlworldview.com)	(282)
(Alt Press)		Anthrax is so desperate to sell albums to the emo crowd, they're teaming up with members of Fall Out Boy  (altpress.com)	(46)
(Some Guy)		Irish turn their annual Christmas lighting ceremony into a drunken riot. Once again  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)	(86)

		Democrats want to resurrect a government hiring program they used to help the economy in 1978. Remember how terrific the economy was in '78? And how well Democrats did in the '78 and '80 elections? You do? They apparently don't  (huffingtonpost.com)	(124)
(Some Guy)		Adam Lambert defends gay kiss, simulated fellatio, ghastly haircuts and similar Bowie-ripoff antics as attacks on the post-AIDS lesbian hegemony  (ktla.com)	(209)
		The Institute for Really Bad Ideas is proud to present its latest breakthrough advertising campaign: A fashion shoot at the Holocaust memorial in Berlin  (thelocal.de)	(69)
		Twelve Iranian couples to be stoned after deciding to give partner swapping a try, demonstrating once again how they do everything backwards over there    (smh.com.au)	(413)
		From the "be careful what you wish for, Democrats" department: Palin tied atop Iowa 2012 poll  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(345)

		Fox News has sent a memo to employees threatening pink slips for on-screen errors, meaning that by next year, all original Fox News programming will be replaced with reruns of "Family Ties" and "Wings"  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(81)
		"Everyone agrees that the nation is on an unsustainable fiscal path. So Democrats will add a $2.5 trillion entitlement to hurry us further along the path."  (realclearpolitics.com)	(518)
		Chinese democracy leaders appeal to Obama. They get down on their sha na na na na na na na knees, knees    (breitbart.com)	(53)

		Old and busted: taunting your cat with a laser-pointer. New Hotness: taunting a crackhead with a laser-pointer  (examiner.com)	(84)
		Steven Tyler to write his memoirs, which will contain no less than 70 pages of "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, yeah yeah yeah yeah YEAH YEAH, yih yeah yih yeah yih yoooooooooooooow"  (starpulse.com)	(26)

		When schools remove chocolate milk from the cafeteria they are simultanously bombarded with student protests and expensive dairy industry media campaigns  (latimes.com)	(104)
(Nikki Finke)		"Twilight: New Moon" breaks the all-time box office opening day record. In other news, what the hell is wrong with people?  (deadline.com)	(174)
(Gaia Online)		Gaia Online removes all virtual game objects that refer to tobacco and cigarettes, because we hate it when our online avatars get virtual lung cancer  (gaiaonline.com)	(30)

(TheIndyChannel)		Doughnut shop robbed and employees forced to remove pants at gunpoint; unbelievably, police were nowhere to be found  (theindychannel.com)	(74)
		Senate Republicans blast Democrat's healthcare bill as a "bait and switch", reportedly furious that what was supposed to be a big give-away to insurance companies, now looks like it may actually help the poor and uninsured  (news.yahoo.com)	(411)

		Roger Daltrey is planning to write his memoirs. Who cares  (contactmusic.com)	(20)
		Crane takes out house while trying to remove a tree. If do right, no can defense  (metro.co.uk)	(81)

(thestranger.com)

Man has remote-controlled bowels implanted after motorcycle accident, really loses his shiat when wife changes the channel    (slog.thestranger.com)

(82)

		Democrats in DC are torn between reducing the deficit and satisfying their natural desire to skip happily across the country, distributing checks and grants and other goodies like the Cash Fairy  (thehill.com)	(249)
		Sixty-four percent of Americans think Khalid Sheikh Muhammed should be tried in a military court, while 34 percent say a civilian court. "Even a majority of Democrats and liberals say that he should be tried by military authorities"  (hotair.com)	(693)
(Some Guy)		"To the editor: I recently read Ethan Forman's story on www.fark.com about the use of the word "meep" at Danvers High School. As I was reading the story, I had to laugh out loud because of the memories it evoked."  (salemnews.com)	(2)
		Esquire hyped its cool new "magazine of the future" with a hologram thingie you hold up to your webcam. But make sure you remove the address label first (pic)  (gawker.com)	(22)

		Kenny wasn't like other kids...... Ken Ober passes away. For you youngsters, Ken Ober hosted the best show MTV ever put on the air, "Remote Control"  (mtv.com)	(127)
(Haaretz)		Bill Clinton pours a drink, puts on Barry White, and tells the Israeli PM, "As long as you believe that America is with you at some core emotional level, we can have a conversation about anything." Mmmm, baby  (haaretz.com)	(139)
		Disney removes closed captioning from rental copies of "Up." It's actually an intriguing business decision, as the deaf can't voice their outrage  (consumerist.com)	(166)