If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
288 headlines found matching 'elf'
Thu December 25, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Gawker)
 
 
 
You may be high, but you'll never be Patrick Stewart wearing an animated, singing Christmas elf hat high
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
A Christmas tradition as old as time itself: gathering 'round the tree to watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians from MST3K season 3. Joel, Servo, and Crow give us a true Christmas treat. "Pills for breakfast? What are we? Judy Garland?"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
President Obama photographed wearing tiara, proving Republican fears that he will suspend free elections and make himself Prettiest, Prettiest Princess of America
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
You might be in Australia if you find yourself at a festival where 200 sheep wearing red-woolen socks are released into the streets
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 


Wed December 24, 2014
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
The self described "redneck" uncle of Brittany Maynard has a new outlook on assisted suicide after getting a heart transplant proving you can never actually change someone's mind
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying selfie
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Tue December 23, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Listen unemployed lady, you can't just use Airbnb to support yourself with an extra $78,000-a-year income using your four bedroom apartment
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
How to use makeup to transform yourself into a remarkably lifelike reindeer, if that's your thing or you think it could be
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 


Mon December 22, 2014
(Golf Digest)
 
 
 
What does Lance Armstrong love most about golf? Prepare yourself, you are not going to believe this... "I love adhering to a code of honor"
source: golfdigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Coroner cheats himself out of a customer
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Coed)
 
 
 
What the Elf on the Shelf does when no one is watching
source: coed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Joe Cocker not feeling too good himself, reunites with John Belushi
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Sir Ian McKellen teaches Cookie Monster about self-control, how to levitate things with his mind
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 


Sun December 21, 2014
(Oxford Dictionaries)
 
 
 
With 26 seasons and counting, it's no surprise that The Simpsons has irrevocably changed the English language itself, though true fans know they did a much better job of it in the first 10 seasons
source: blog.oxforddictionaries.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
The Donald says Jeb Bush is 'the last thing we need,' obviously forgetting to include himself in his calculations
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Sat December 20, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
The worst thing you can do for yourself is to boost your immune system
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Passed out drunk behind the wheel, engine running, stereo blasting and wearing an Elf on the Shelf costume, is no way to go through life son. Why yes, there is a pic
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Last minute shopping idea. Go trendy and buy him/her a selfie-stick. (Not sure whether this should be labeled "Cool," "Spiffy," or "Stupid.")
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
"Boeing is teaming up with BlackBerry to build a secretive, self-destructing smartphone"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 


Fri December 19, 2014
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
When you move to Texas to start a church you know God's testing your faith as you find yourself wringing a burglar's urine out of your weeping wife's wedding gown
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Thu December 18, 2014
(About.com)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: From chops to the belly to even a whole pig roast among the many options, pork has been a staple in many homes. What ways do you like to prepare it for your friends and family? Do you just make the whole pack of bacon for yourself?
source: americanfood.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Furries attempt to set the record straight, claim there's nothing to fear but fear itself, and possibly the fat coyote dude who smells like body odor and keeps asking people back to his room
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Scientists create the world's first smart bike that can sense hazards on the road. Upon completion bike immediately senses itself and self-destructs
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Drunk driver with crack pipe in car mows down five in Manhattan. Topless selfies on Facebook (not safe for work) won't help her case. She's going to need a lawyer.... Oh wait, she IS a lawyer
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Wed December 17, 2014
(TechRadar)
 
 
 
Netflix unimpressed by competitors who claim their own video services can store shows to watch offline without streaming, calls it "short term fix for a bigger problem" that will solve itself in five years
source: techradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Good.is)
 
 
 
The all-you-can-eat buffet is a gluttonous scam that gives you false choices and an inflated sense of self-worth. Which is why it's so wildly successful in America
source: magazine.good.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Google's most searched for beers, cocktails, recipes and diets reveal that Americans are pretty much as boring and self-loathing as ever
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Bandcamp)
 
 
 
A Little Bit of Charity hopes to raise funds for the Animal Welfare Institute, by taking a group of professional musicians and remixing songs from My Little Pony. These are non-bronies covering MLP songs. Sounds cool
source: alittlebitforcharity.bandcamp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Tue December 16, 2014
(CNN)
 
 
 
Crazed Pennsylvania man who executed six family members, including his ex-wife, found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
A look at how Ayn Rand turned Americans into the greedy selfish assholes that we are today
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
To thine own elf be true: An old hobbit reviews the new 'Hobbit'
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you've ever said to yourself, "Self, I sure do wish someone would put a rocket engine on a porta potty and launch that sucker," today's your lucky day
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you've always fancied yourself ruling over your own kingdom, make an offer on these huge castles which are on the market
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Some Tinfoil Hat Guy)
 
 
 
Elf on Shelf conditions kids to accept a surveillance state. No word yet on FEMA camps for the naughty
source: eagnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Mon December 15, 2014
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
When selfies with the dynamite monkey go horribly wrong
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old boy finds spider in loaf; nearly pinches one himself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Proposed UN climate deal commits 190 nations to the framework of an accord to consider agreements to meet and draft standards for subsequent productive talks on upcoming climate conferences described as "pointless, but the hookers will be top-shelf"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Sun December 14, 2014
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Can DeMarco Murray rip the talons off of the Eagles & which Tony Romo will show up? Will Mark Sanchez embarrass himself with another butt fumble or can Philadelphia flap their way to victory. It's YOUR SNF thread starting at 8:30 eastern on NBC
source: nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1428)
 
(WFMY 2 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Today marks the 378th birthday of the U.S. National Guard. Yes, it's older than the U.S. itself
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Astrologer to the stars falls ill with anemia, stars freak out at her selfishness: "People are not dumb. How it is possible for her to have another excuse every month? When you decide to be a public servant, you need to honor that"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Sat December 13, 2014
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Your young son wets himself. Do you: A) Threaten to put him in diapers; B) Sooth him and tell him it's okay; C) Dress him up in girls clothing, mock him, take pictures of him, and post those pictures to Facebook so everyone can laugh?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Bad: rear-ending an off-duty cop with your car. Worse: Punching him and fleeing the scene after he identifies himself. Epic Fail: Forgetting to ditch your cocaine and grabbing a cop by the throat during your arrest
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Daily Post (UK))
 
 
 
Pedophile hands himself in to police after being fooled by Internet pop-up warning him he was acting illegally and police were monitoring him. Spam gets the tag, for once in the history of the Intrawebs
source: dailypost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Fri December 12, 2014
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Police department brings Elf on the Shelf's crime spree to an end in holiday music video. No word if his hands were up
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Please note: a self-defense plea in your murder trial would be more believable if you do not collect books on 'how to murder people and get away with it'
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A stray cat got its paws on a gourmet feast courtesy of an airport delicatessen, after managing to get inside the fish counter: "The tabby was filmed by staff at Vladivostok airport helping itself to marine delicacies including squid and dried octopus"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
Note to the Federalist: Warren shutting down the government over blowjobs to bankers is not the same a Ted Cruz giving himself a blowjob
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking, we are preparing for a selfie
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 


Thu December 11, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Autopsy finds waitress managed to accidentally kill herself by sticking her head in a dumbwaiter, as opposed to the safer option where the dumb waiter sticks his head in the waitress
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Yes, Virginia, the Elf on the Shelf is real. And your little friends are precocious twerps
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
How watching Will Ferrell's 'Elf' ruined my day
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"The latest Keurig 2.0 comes loaded with security measures to stop you using cheap coffee pods. You can actually hack the machine yourself - and all you need is scissors and tape"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"What is shocking is the continuing claim of the CIA's leaders that torture worked. And that is a damnable lie, a devastating deceit and a self-deception that poses a danger to the agency and the American people"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 


Wed December 10, 2014
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
The hater's guide to the 2014 Williams-Sonoma catalog. "$40 croissants? I have to fry them myself? FARK YOU, WILLIAMS-SONOMA"
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Today's story on millennials demonstrating just how self-absorbed their precious snowflake upbringing has made them courtesy of Harvard, Columbia and Georgetown law schools
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 


Tue December 09, 2014
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
True, robots could one day gain self-awareness and try to eradicate all humanity as we know it. Or they could become machines with benefits
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Sun December 07, 2014
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Probably the best llama dressed as Santa's elf you'll see today
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Years before Rolling Stone found itself with a bad rape story by Sabrina Rubin Erdely on its hands, Rolling Stone found itself with a bad rape story by Sabrina Rubin Erdely on its hands
source: bigtrial.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(395)
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
Woman has newborn taken away after hospital calls CPS because... she checked herself out early, so therefore she must be on drugs
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
One person who's very happy that Governor Rick Scott's attempt to drug test welfare recipients was ruled unconstitutional? Author, humorist, and all around good guy Carl Hiaasen
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
If you are the coach of a D3 team that just lost a playoff game 45-7 at home, who do you blame? a) Yourself and the staff; b) the players; c) Chip Kelly?
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Rapping, EDM-loving pop-country singers aren't going away anytime soon. "It wasn't that long ago that self-professed music snobs would freely declare their love of 'everything but rap and country'"
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 


Sat December 06, 2014
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Unemployed dad who's just trying to buy his kids some Christmas presents realizes pity is for the weak after trying to sell himself on eBay
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
The 17 most American things you can buy at Walmart. Put together some cheese balls by the barrel, a beef jerky gun and the 'Darth Vader taking a selfie with an iPhone 4′ t-shirt and you've got yourself a weekend
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 


Fri December 05, 2014
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Celebrity poses completely naked to tittilate the masses? She should be applauded. Celebrity posts a picture of herself breastfeeding her baby? She should be condemned
source: celebrity.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking hot 18-year-old Xanax dealer: "Surrendered myself at 7 a.m., got released at 11:30 a.m. F**k what you heard. And my mugshot's cute"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 


Thu December 04, 2014
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The long-delayed and entirely unnecessary Crow reboot has found itself a director
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Good news everyone. We may have a budget deal to avert another shut down. It may only cost us our dignity, respect, sense of self-worth and freedom from tainted beef, but hey, no shutdown
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Wed December 03, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
French acting legend Gerard Depardieu gets Ozzy-level-drunk, embarrasses himself at World War I commemoration ceremony with shambolic speech
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Tue December 02, 2014
(ESPN)
 
 
 
UAB football program gives itself the death penalty
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 


Mon December 01, 2014
(Poynter Institute)
 
 
 
Read this number one sign that Buzzfeed has become self aware
source: poynter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
FBI warns U.S. military that a group calling itself ISIS plans to violently attack them with weapons, with the intention of causing bodily harm or death
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Missing Ohio State University football player Kosta Karageorge has been found dead inside a dumpster of what police suspect is a self-inflicted gunshot wound
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 


Sun November 30, 2014
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Before you take a big, smug bite of your cricket taco, ask yourself if there's really an ethical difference between eating insects for protein and traditional farm animals?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 


Sat November 29, 2014
(NHL)
 
 
 
All stuffed with turkey and beer? Got all the shopping done? Good, now reward yourself with an all-day hockey feast. The Broad Street Bullies meet the Rags in New York at 1 PM ET. Then 11 more pucks drop starting at 7 PM ET. IT'S HOCKEY TIME
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Kids these days. With their selfies, and twerking, and being the CEO of a local store
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Black Friday has become a shadow of its former self
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 


Fri November 28, 2014
(WTSP)
 
 
 
You can't carry out your Second Amendment right to defend yourself in your own home if you don't have a gun in your house. But what if you have a gun, but no house?
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Meet the man who saved Comedy Central from itself
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 


Thu November 27, 2014
(Some MST3K Fan)
 
 
 
It's Thanksgiving, and what better way to celebrate than with an old tradition: MST3K's Turkey Day, hosted by none other than Joel Hodgson, featuring classic episodes chosen by the man himself. The fun begins at 12 PM ET. LGT livestream
source: shoutfactory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Remember that reporter in Alaska who quit her job on-air after announcing she would dedicate herself to her marijuana business full-time? She's discovering that making a principled stance doesn't stop the government from asking questions
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Wearing the same outfit day in and day out is the best thing you can do for yourself. No, really
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Wed November 26, 2014
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
James Cameron: "Avatar sequels filmed in 48fps will make you shiat yourself with your mouth wide open"
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Alone again for Thanksgiving? Maybe you're just not presenting yourself in a way that shows off your qualities, like this twenty-eight-year-old felon who promises to be your worst date ever
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man arrested for aiming banana at police. The officers were able to bring the incident to a peaceful conclusion since they had thankfully been taught self defense against fresh fruit, and could have even handled a man armed with loganberries
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 


Tue November 25, 2014
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Shooting yourself in the face won't win the argument you're having with your wife. Oh, it will END the argument. But you still won't win
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Eating tacos, going the graveyard in a wagon, a trip to Turks and Caicos, a pool tournament, and Jingles the Elf.... Thanksgiving traditions described by kids to the left, your family's weirdness to the right
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Great news for all twenty or so fans of Selfie: Hulu will air the remaining episodes of the abruptly-canceled series
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man hunting geese in New Jersey accidentally bags himself
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Mon November 24, 2014
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
Man falls into ravine, breaks both legs, drags himself and his massive brass balls onto highway two days later
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Israeli Cabinet approves of itself
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Panic grips South Korea as the government threatens to jail A) protesters B) jaywalkers or C) unauthorized 'selfie stick' retailers
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 


Sun November 23, 2014
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
If you've got bongs, crack pipes, and marijuana plants in your living room and manage to lock yourself out of your apartment, it's probably best not to call 911 for help
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 


Sat November 22, 2014
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Tim Giardina was a 3-star Admiral in the US Navy. He was also put in charge of the U.S. Nuclear Arsenal on land, sea, and air. The powers of Armageddon itself were placed in his trust. But he was too busy forging casino chips to care about all that
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
After losing a bet over the Northwestern/Notre Dame game to Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic takes a picture of himself mimicking Kim Kardashian's butt photo. Not Safe For...anyone, actually
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Fri November 21, 2014
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
"If your copy of Far Cry 4 doesn't have Field Of View options, and you complained about this on a forum, you might want to delete your comments. Because there's a very good chance you've just outed yourself as someone who pirated the game"
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(293)
 


Thu November 20, 2014
(The Hill)
 
 
 
GOP lawmaker's cunning plan to block Obama's planned immigration changes by defunding the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services or even shutting down the whole government is what you might call "impossible" since the Agency is self-funded
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're better than this Chinese stunt driver at parallel parking consider yourself an ace
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 


Wed November 19, 2014
(The Bookseller)
 
 
 
Why self-publishing is more lucrative than having a book contract: traditionally published authors are "accustomed" to being paid royalties twice a year, but one of the benefits of self-publishing is the regular royalty payments
source: thebookseller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hard-hitting feature by CNN looks at the top 25 selfies of the week. Coming up at the top of the hour: a local cat can't believe a nearby sound
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(FastCo Design)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut rebrands itself for the fourth time in 15 years in latest corporate effort to deflect attention from its awful, awful pizzas
source: fastcodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Today is World Toilet Day, so go have yourself a crappy one
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 


Tue November 18, 2014
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
The coffee mug bong from Cabin in the Woods is now a real thing. Unsurprisingly, as overhyped as the film itself
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Most people think self-driving cars are dangerous, according to motorists answering a poll while driving
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
How Ayn Rand went from a derided, mocked hack writer who sucked on the welfare teat when she was alive to a derided, mocked hack writer who sucked on the welfare teat when she was alive beloved by Conservatives
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 


Mon November 17, 2014
(Future Structure)
 
 
 
Google's self-driving car is learning the hard way that people are imbeciles
source: futurestructure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"No suspicion of criminal activity" against Palestinian bus driver found "beaten all over his body" and hanged in his own bus. In other breaking news, that Ferguson kid probably capped himself
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
"Immortal" cult leader proves himself a fraud
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Sun November 16, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
Do you feel self-conscious in a restaurant and worry that your waiter is judging you? Well, guess what...he is. BON APPETIT
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Sat November 15, 2014
(Computer Weekly)
 
 
 
One of the things no one's talking about when it comes to self-driving cars? It will make private ownership of cars pointless pretty quickly, even in America. Here's why
source: computerweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Microsoft)
 
 
 
Before there was such a thing as a selfie, Irish man began 4 1/2 year journey around the world, taking a selfie every day at 3pm, for 1600 days in a row (and counting). Now called "The greatest selfie project ever"
source: lumiaconversations.microsoft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
"Justus Belfield, 98, spent his last full day on earth in his army uniform, lying in bed at Baptist Health Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Scotia with his wife Lillian in her own bed next to him." Godspeed sir
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Fri November 14, 2014
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
How to turn yourself into an Instagram It Girl. No dudes
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3)
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
You've been mispronouncing the names of car models all your life. Here's a short video on how to properly pronounce Japanese car names before you embarrass yourself any further
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 


Thu November 13, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hungary workers make good sandwiches, according to the Earl of Sandwich himself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
You know, for being America's most hated company, Wal-Mart is doing quite well for itself, its earnings and shares as high as ever
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 


Tue November 11, 2014
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Price Chopper supermarket chain renames itself "Market32" after the number of items their typical shopper brings into the express lane
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
You might have heard about the live Seahawks mascot that landed on a guy's head, but check out the caricature mascot that posted an unintentional sexually suggestive selfie
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Mon November 10, 2014
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Innocent man is tired of Nancy Grace's shiat, sues HLN anchor for constantly referring to him on-air as "Selfie Stalker" and continuing to air his photo while covering Denver woman's home invasion. Tot Mom eagerly waiting to see how this one goes
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Student who posted school threats, selfies with his guns to Twitter account posts after cops left with said guns: "I want everyone to know that I am a (expletive) idiot and the cops just came because I'm a (expletive) dum (expletive)"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Walmart worker accused of embezzling swipes of a deodorant stick before returning product to shelf
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Finding that welfare-state Brits aren't up to the job, Marks & Spencer and Tesco's supplier hires hundreds of Hungarians to make proper pre-packed sandwiches
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Usually when you hear about a 'train surfer' landing himself in critical condition you don't expect his injuries to be from fire. Usually
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Sun November 09, 2014
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
How far will Eugene, Abraham, Glenn, and Maggie make it? Just who are Abraham and Eugene? What will become of Beth? Find out tonight in "Self Help." It's your Official Walking Dead Discussion Thread. The slaying begins at 9PM ET
source: au.ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(521)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
German firefighters don gas masks and biohazard suits to rescue morbidly obese man, who for five years couldn't even wash himself with a rag on a stick
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 


Sat November 08, 2014
(Action A Go-Go)
 
Video
 
"You want a selfie with a giant robot? I can make it happen" say's one of the creators of the real life Megabots Fighting League a.k.a our future robot overlords
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this East Side selfie
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
ABC deletes Selfie, spares us all from seeing Karen Gillan try to speak with an American accent for one more week
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Fri November 07, 2014
(CBC)
 
 
 
Homeless woman builds herself a home. In a perfect world that would be a happy ending but in the real world the government seizes it and fines her $10k
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There's a scientific reason why you look so weird in all your selfies
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Tue November 04, 2014
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Fans don't have a problem that Jadeveon Clowney was checking out sexy selfies on Instagram during Sunday's game and neither does his coach. But it really pissed off an AM sports radio host
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Did you ever wonder to yourself how Michael Jordan convinced Charles Barkley to appear in a basketball movie featuring cartoon characters? Wonder no more
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Mon November 03, 2014
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Who will be the next member of Team No-Sell? Has Orton RKO'd himself out of the building? Make sure to feed Ryberg and pay your air bill before WWE Raw (8pm est, USA/9.99)
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1164)
 


Sun November 02, 2014
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Nine questions Japanese women must answer to learn whether their man is worth marrying. "Male cat lovers tend to be more effeminate and self-centered, and can be more affectionate towards their cats than their wives"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Sat November 01, 2014
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
John McCain breaks his silence on the Palin family brawl and condemns them for not having enough self-respect. Just kidding. He blames the liberal media
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(MTV)
 
 
 
Six famous internet cats team together for the ultimate selfie, just in time for Caturday
source: mtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1280)
 


Fri October 31, 2014
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Jack Kirby finally credited with co-creating books like Fantastic Four and X-Men. His fans, however, won't be satisfied until he's credited with creating art itself
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Thu October 30, 2014
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
NOMG threatens to sue liberal blog for posting video of Awkward Kasich being his awkward self in an interview with an editorial board. OMG
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Brace yourself for this amazing transformation
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Wed October 29, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Selfish" Ebola nurse now irking the residents of Maine with her defiance of staying indoors
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(649)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
If you love corn -- and who doesn't? -- you owe it to yourself to pop in and visit the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Amazing Japanese girl drummer who we've watched win competitions at age 13 and 14, is now 16 and in a class all by herself
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You can now buy a do-it-yourself at-home colon cancer test. This could be quite the hit after the third bottle of wine is cracked open at your next dinner party
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 


Tue October 28, 2014
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Two items from the US Forest Service: Firstly, please stop getting close to bears so you can take selfies with them. Secondly...actually that's pretty much it
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
There is no conflict between believing in God and accepting evolution and the Big Bang Theory as scientific fact according to some obscure theologian who calls himself "Pope Francis"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(286)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Inventor of the game "Operation" now needs an operation himself. Wants a specialist, but can only afford twitchy, giggling kids
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Mon October 27, 2014
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
92-year-old woman foiled in her attempt at finding a farmer's market at the bottom of Belfast Harbor
source: m.penbaypilot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Cuomo: Okay, okay, okay. We won't force you into a tent for 21 days when you arrive in-state, you'll be free to self-quarantine yourself. Except the Irish
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Bears defensive end injures himself celebrating meaningless sack during blowout loss to Patriots. If only he had played as hard as he celebrated, maybe the Bears wouldn't have lost quite as badly
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
An interview with the greatest composer of the 20th and 21st century, the legendary Danny Elfman, who discusses his work with Oingo Boingo and how Batman was almost ruined by The Beatles
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Sun October 26, 2014
(Fox 11 Online)
 
 
 
Choose Your Own Adventure time: You are driving your motorcycle home presumably drunk when a cop tries to pull you over. Do you A) Pull over and spend the night in the drunk tank. Or B) Kill yourself by fleeing and hitting a power pole
source: fox11online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Crawley News)
 
 
 
Alcoholic fined after hurling abuse at passers-by while drinking from three-liter bottle of hard cider before telling police to "f**k off." Guy's the human embodiment of a Fark Politics thread all by himself
source: crawleynews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
"Did NASA try to hide UFO watching Space X Dragon departure from ISS?" (with video so you can judge for yourself)
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 


Sat October 25, 2014
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Anderson Cooper gives right wing journalist a verbal biatchslapping for asking to take a selfie with him during aftermath of Ottawa shooting
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Fri October 24, 2014
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Denver Bronco threatened and assaulted a cab driver, stole a shovel from a construction site so he could whack the cab driver, fled the scene and tried to hide from cop by trying to bury himself under mulch. Now FORMER Bronco
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 


Thu October 23, 2014
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Now that it is profitable, a potentially 100 percent effective ebola vaccine will be tested after nearly 10 years on the shelf
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 


Wed October 22, 2014
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Just because you've screwed up in everything you've ever done in your life, it doesn't mean you can't make something of yourself after you die
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mormon church comes clean on their special underwear; say it's not magic, it's just supposed to keep you from playing with yourself
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 


Tue October 21, 2014
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Watch an Audi RS7 drive itself around a track at 150 MPH with nobody inside
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Global Geopolitics)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin, being the selfless man that he is, once offered to share Ukraine with Poland in 2008, which was very nice of him
source: glblgeopolitics.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Plastic surgery for flesh tunnel ears? Gauge for yourself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 


Mon October 20, 2014
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The best way to rid yourself of an imaginary friend? Put him up for sale on eBay, of course
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Inquirer Philippines)
 
 
 
South Korean official apologizes for an accident at a rock concert that killed sixteen people, and by "apologizes," we mean he killed himself
source: newsinfo.inquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Sun October 19, 2014
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Ten years ago a man at Daytona put a tire around his midsection and called himself 'Tire Man,' and NASCAR has never been the same since
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
"A woman recorded herself doing heroin and cocaine while making fun of her probation officer, then posted it online." Spoiler: The probation officer saw it
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 


Sat October 18, 2014
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Chili's cook fired for taking shirtless selfies inside restaurant kitchen, posting them on Facebook, not wearing hairnet
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Saturday Cinema - Blacula, 1972 - After centuries of slumber, an African nobleman cursed with vampirism awakes in 1970s LA to find himself surrounded by polyester, platform boots and lots of lovely necks
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Thu October 16, 2014
(Pro Football Mock)
 
 
 
The jumbo-trons of the Chicago Bears and the Miami Dolphins address that age-old question: "How could a bear defend itself against a dolphin''s blowhole-triggered bazooka attack?"
source: profootballmock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Tue October 14, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you see only one selfie taken 10 miles from the surface of a comet, make it this one
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you lock yourself out of your apartment when you're drunk? And naked? And the cops show up?
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My teenage son won't stop masturbating; in his bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, the penalty box during a hockey game--I keep yelling at him but he keeps going at it. How can I curtail his self-love?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 


Sun October 12, 2014
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
The Who working on their twelfth studio album, "Who Cares Anymore?"
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Fri October 10, 2014
(Guardian)
 
 
 
#WakeUpCall selfie fad called "just another egotistical celebrity stunt for 'charity'. A picture of Jeremy Clarkson in bed first thing in the morning does not make me want to give to Unicef's Syria appeal. Far from it"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cars quickly evolve from self-driving to Mario Andretti mode, where they are constantly monitoring traffic around them and coming up with high-speed escape maneuvers in case someone ahead is an idiot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 


Thu October 09, 2014
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
If you're going to try to steal a bottle of wine from a supermarket, don't knock yourself unconscious on a shelf as you try to run away
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
San Antonio Spurs guard Danny Green takes a selfie at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin, decides "you know I had to do it once lol #Holocaust" is an appropriate way to tag the photo
source: sports.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Komen Fracks Itself
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 


Wed October 08, 2014
(Clarion-Ledger)
 
 
 
Not news: Man posts a photo of himself eating a turkey leg from the state fair to Facebook. Fark: He's locked up in state prison
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
"Baywatch" star, Ex-Mrs. Nikki Sixx & neighbor of Stephen Collins apologizes for tweeting the controversial actor shot himself into 7th Heaven
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Why are cocktails so expensive, and how much of the total price is for the top-shelf booze that goes into them?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(How It Works Magazine)
 
 
 
Watch a Ford Fiesta being assembled in 86 seconds by robots. Or you could buy one and watch the whole process reverse itself in your driveway over the next three years
source: howitworksdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 


Mon October 06, 2014
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Man exposing himself takes swing at cop, trips over pants
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Can Washington limit its self-inflicted mistakes to end Seattle's dominance in prime time or will the Seahawks be kissing Cousins with every sack? It's your MNF thread starting at 8:30ET on ESPN
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1090)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Scottish nationalists have reacted with characteristic charm and good grace to their referendum defeat. The online petition 'Go fark yourself, Gordon Brown' now has more than 10,000 signatures"
source: order-order.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Meet the non-profit law firm that's making religious freedom sexy again. So sexy I need to beat myself over the back with a leather belt for such impure thoughts about getting it on with my religion, freely and without restraint. Oh god
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Latest victim of hackers accessing celebrities' nude photos: Hulk Hogan's son, Nick. Released photos include nude pics of his high school girlfriends, Nick himself, his mom showing off her thong
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 


Sun October 05, 2014
(Addicting Info)
 
 
 
GOP state senator making a six-figure salary busted for welfare fraud, because of course he was
source: addictinginfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 


Sat October 04, 2014
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Former Haitian dictator "Baby Doc" Duvalier dies at 63; Abe Vigoda seen walking down the street whistling to himself, carrying a little doll and a pin
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Teenager accused of murdering someone in a drive-by shooting on a moped demands to be tried in juvenile court, since no self-respecting adult would be caught dead on one
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Today is National Taco Day, and here's a list of all the places giving out free food or cheap deals in celebration of the event. So go and get yourself a Mexican sandwich and join in on the celebration
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Fri October 03, 2014
(Space.com)
 
 
 
First came deadly infectious disease, now prepare yourself for... BLOOD MOON
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Book editor: No, I don't want to read your self-published book
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
As Jeff Foxworthy once said, "If you exhibit glib and superficial charm, have a grandiose sense of self-worth and engage in pathological lying, you might be a psychopath"
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Next year Jets fans will have to travel 800 miles to watch their team shoot itself in the foot
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Thu October 02, 2014
(Metro)
 
 
 
You might think there's a vas deferens between living with testicular cancer and making a spectacle of yourself, but you'd be wrong
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
There are not enough flowers and foot rubs in the world to make up for the fact that you left your wife passed out in the bathroom of a bar after she vomited all over herself
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In this day of unrelenting bad and sad news, give yourself a humor break and watch some Louie Gomert
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The grand jury investigating whether the police shooting of Michael Brown was justified is now itself being investigated, raising the level of insanity around this case to DERPCON 5
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Collider)
 
 
 
Warner Bros. is rebooting I Am Legend, which was rebooted several years ago and was itself a reboot of a reboot
source: collider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 


Wed October 01, 2014
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Giants tight end fares poorly in his fantasy football league last week on account of benching the wrong player in favor of someone else. The benched player? Himself. "Amusing" trumps "Dumbass" because, hey, it's just fantasy football
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Forget Ebola, something far more worrying is infecting pilgrims in Mecca - Hajj selfie fever
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"The photographic practice of Mrs. Grima shows the influence of Lee Friedlander's shadow self-portraits," said Manhattan gallerist James Danziger of 4-year-old potbellied pig wearing GoPro camera
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Federal Government to Washington Redskins: Go FCC Yourself
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 


Tue September 30, 2014
(BGR)
 
 
 
"If you find yourself obsessing over the nuances of the bent iPhone 6 the same way conspiracy theorists obsess over grassy knolls and moon landings, please take a break from the Internet. This sort of thing could be very bad for your mental health"
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Arkansas Times)
 
 
 
Arkansas shooting range declares itself exempt from the Civil Rights Act of 1964
source: arktimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This guy was arrested for touching himself and yelling vulgar comments at a woman, and he has some resemblance to Ben Affleck as well
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(WebMD)
 
 
 
Junk food cravings now associated with a lapse in the area of the brain that governs self restraint. Which is just a scientific way of saying you have no willpower
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers are utilizing social media to spread their self-destructive habits like a virus
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Showing he's the most humahngous big character in the NHL universh, Ilya Bryzgalov joins in on fans' selfies from the bench
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Today's funniest sports injury goes to Detroit Lions TE Joseph Fauria, who hurt himself potty-training his dog
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(RedEye Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago issues September demolition permit for Wrigley Field bleachers. As opposed to the Cubs, who self-implode between May and August
source: redeyechicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 


Mon September 29, 2014
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
Celebrities who store nude selfies in iCloud are going to LOVE this new iOS 8 'feature.' The rest of you, not so much
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(State of Illinois)
 
 
 
You smug right-wing farktards think Illinois is a ridiculous cesspit of incompetence and corruption? Well, suck on THIS, haters - the governor himself is announcing that Chicago is getting...wait for it...an Olive Garden (drops mic, walks off stage)
source: www3.illinois.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
John Oliver exposes the "Enduring Influence of Ayn Rand, Selfish Asshole"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Daughter of BTK Killer breaks self-imposed nine-year silence to publicly criticize Stephen King
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 


Sat September 27, 2014
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Chris Christie, apparently desperate for attention, declares himself the second governor of Pennsylvania
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Midwestern hipsters outraged to learn that Templeton Rye, which bills itself as a "small-batch Iowa whiskey" is actually aged and distilled in Indiana
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 


Fri September 26, 2014
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
When you're a burglar, efficiency is key, and sometimes you need to call the police on yourself
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The oldest known star in the Universe is almost as old as the Universe itself. Abe Vigoda nods approvingly
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
"It sounds like a concept from a philosopher's fevered imagination, but many physicists believe the multiverse is real. And they've got evidence - here are four ways the multiverse may show itself in our everyday world"
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 


Thu September 25, 2014
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Pope "getting serious" about Church sexual abuse, presumably after "jokingly self-deprecating" didn't pan out
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
In 2006 Indiana sold a 75 year lease of the Toll Road for $3.8 billion. The state spent all its money, the toll road operator bankrupted itself betting on interest rate fluctuations, and drivers are still on the hook for tolls through 2081
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
While self-love is perfectly acceptable and healthy, it should not be attempted on a plane full of passengers
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Japan's Air Self Defence Force marks 60th anniversary with daring ground-level display
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 


Wed September 24, 2014
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stratospheric selfie
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Pope takes strong stand against covering yourself with other people's various bodily fluids
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see. I smeared myself with P-A-I-N-T
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Tue September 23, 2014
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
When you're 8 1/2 months pregnant, craving meat, and your refrigerator is empty the logical thing to do is to grab your dad's rifle and bag yourself a moose
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 


Mon September 22, 2014
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
"Friends," which marks its 20th anniversary today, was almost canned because NBC researchers found the pilot "smug, superficial, and self-absorbed." Oddly, those qualities were the keys to the show's success
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 


Sun September 21, 2014
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police conduct a no-knock raid; homeowner kills an officers; charges dropped because it was self defense. Same thing happens six months later, but this time prosectors want the death penalty. What do you think the difference is between the two shooters?
source: thefreethoughtproject.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(475)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You might want to take a break from the psychedelics if one day you find yourself hooking up electrodes to plant leaves to make harmonic sounds by collect their bio-electric impulses
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 


Sat September 20, 2014
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Is it OK to hate hipsters? "They can be crass, attitudinal, have offbeat ideas about the rights of way a fixed-gear bike is afforded in traffic. But they're just as often culturally engaged, self-reflective. I mean, come on, we were all young once"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
This may come as a shock to you, but you actually can't charge your new iPhone in the microwave. Go ahead, try it yourself if you don't believe me
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Life can be pretty funny. One day you're a star player for the Phoenix Suns, and then suddenly you find yourself getting arrested for stealing $14,000 worth of Apple products
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Fri September 19, 2014
(Politico)
 
 
 
The Arab civilization is collapsing in on itself. Well, I guess that's better than it blowing up
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
When your son comes to you to talk about having suicidal thoughts there are many ways to handle it. Handing him your .45 caliber gun and telling him "Do it. Kill yourself. I don't really care" is not one of those ways
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 


Thu September 18, 2014
(WVEC)
 
 
 
Please note: the US Army does not allow 'elfing' your ears
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Missing American bachelorette party caught in Cabo during hurricane turns up in California. Hangover 4 just wrote itself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Oklahoma City man arrested for washing himself in public fountain with mayonnaise. Well, they hope it was mayonnaise
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 


Wed September 17, 2014
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Why waste valuable time while waiting to pick the schoolchildren up in your coach, just perform a sex act on yourself
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Clear Channel renames itself iHeartMedia. You can put lipstick on a multi-billion dollar debt, but it's still a multi-billion dollar debt
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I'mma perform a delicate throat surgery on Joan Rivers, but first, lemme take a selfie
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Tue September 16, 2014
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Sign that we are more divided than ever: Self-proclaimed "Tea Party Satanist" leader opposed to progressive Satanists from Detroit
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Dumbass Daily)
 
 
 
Guy calmly records selfie while frat boy gets jumped in the background
source: dumbassdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Usually when you read about a man walking in to traffic and getting hit by a truck it doesn't end with the man setting himself on fire. Usually
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
In an effort to further endear himself to 49ers fans, Jim Harbaugh says the crowd noise could be "improved." 49ers fans wondering which interception they should have cheered loudly
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Deadspin)
 
Audio
 
For some reason supermodel Cheryl Tiegs dropped into the broadcast booth during a Tigers/Twins game, where she proceeded to embarrass herself with incoherent rambling. I want to kiss you
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
First Australian mosquito to be seen in North America found in L.A. county, seemed to find itself in a variety of cultural misunderstandings leading ultimately to a heartworming ending
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Sun September 14, 2014
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight (not valid if our driver crushes himself)
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Fri September 12, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
So, it turns out that Detroit forward Greg Morris Piston himself after being arrested for DUI
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Hannity guest A.J. Delgado decides to show Doocy and Kilmeade what REAL victim blaming is all about. Come for "Ray Rice is the bigger victim of domestic violence here," stay for "[Janay] knocked herself out on that railing"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 


Thu September 11, 2014
(Pueblo Chieftain)
 
 
 
Colorado GOP candidate outs himself as a "Sandy Hook truther" during a debate saying "I don't think (the Sandy Hook shootings have) been proven"
source: chieftain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you can't commit yourself to watching a complete, 10-hour Amish barn raising, here one is in four minutes
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Wed September 10, 2014
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Hole in the ozone layer repairing itself. Paint huffing guy inconsolable
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(World Review)
 
 
 
The Ukraine crisis may have re-energised Nato's interest in Europe, but its future lies in closed-off cliquey meetings between key players, rather than grand self-congratulatory summits
source: worldreview.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Tue September 09, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're in Baltimore and find yourself in possession of a Ray Rice jersey, instead of setting fire to it like you should, you can give it to Hersh's Pizza, who will give you free food in return
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 


Mon September 08, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you're a self-proclaimed foodie who regularly attends food festivals, you are a bad person and should feel bad. And fat. And drunk
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(GSA.gov)
 
 
 
FOR SALE: Hamptons-area island, 840 acres w/historic lighthouse, excellent 360-degree views, all amenities, fully self-sufficient, all traces of anthrax, hog cholera and polio virus eradicated far as we know
source: gsa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Family of responsible gun owners allow their 5 year-old son to go on an unsupervised hunting trip, seem shocked and appalled to learn the kid managed to shoot himself in the face with a shotgun because "he knew better"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Lake Oswego police are searching for a man who likes to drink beer and touch himself, have narrowed the suspects down to everyone
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The only thing more disappointing than Obama's disappointment is Obama himself
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 


Sat September 06, 2014
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
"A 20-year-old Ohio man drove to the police department to turn himself in because he realized he was too drunk to drive and would get involved in a crash, according to police." He was correct (pics)
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Helen Mirren once again proves she's awesome: "'Why didn't hackers try and find naked selfies of me? I kept desperately looking at the list of people whose phones were hacked, hoping to see my name" (Not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Imagine the Universe being torn apart: galaxy-by-galaxy, star-by-star, atom-by-atom and finally spacetime itself. That's not fiction, that's the Big Rip
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 


Fri September 05, 2014
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
School girl made to wear "shame suit." Selfies ensue
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 


Thu September 04, 2014
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has been critical of Federal spending, the White House, and President Obama himself. But she sure would be grateful if the Federal Government had some extra dollars to send to flood victims in her state
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
81-year old man in a red bra and matching panties exposes himself to families at his assisted living center's pool. (with hot pink is more his color mug shot)
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hardcore conservative Grover Norquist goes to Burning Man and absolutely loves it. "The demand for self-reliance at Burning Man toughens everyone up. There are few fools, and no malingerers"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 


Wed September 03, 2014
(Idaho State Journal)
 
 
 
Apparently there was an active shooter yesterday at Idaho State University. Fark: Chem Professor shot himself in the foot
source: idahostatejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Inmate at Montreal jail posts photos to Facebook of himself enjoying Cognac and cigars. No word of when his mandatory helicopter escape will be
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Teen, who was shot in the foot, first told police he was the victim of a "random act of violence." Later admits that he shot himself in the foot when checking to see that the gun was loaded. The gun he "found" in the street
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
11-year-old Arizona boy rushed to the hospital after shooting himself in the head. If only he had a gun instructor with him this never would have happened
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 


Tue September 02, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman who swallowed expensive diamond ring will have to locate it by herself. "We don't get paid enough to dig through people's bowel movements"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
DMV forces boy who considers himself gender non-conforming to remove make-up for picture. You better believe that's a lawsuit
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(434)
 


Sun August 31, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Greil Marcus on what makes a rock song essential: "It's not the stature of the performer, but the degree to which a song tells the story of rock 'n' roll itself"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You're not going to believe this, but when you allow child care providers to self-certify, lots of kids end up dead
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rick Perry thinks that taxpayers should pick up the tab for his legal defense, but since he's SUCH A NICE GUY, he'll pay for it himself instead
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Sat August 30, 2014
(CBC)
 
 
 
40 hour long armed standoff with police ends with suspect giving himself up and being sent to hospital for evaluation. I guess Canadian police are all out of SWAT gear and surplus military vehicles
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The ice bucket challenge is as stupid as the celebrities trying to get some press off of it. That said, Stephen Hawking rocks it...and doesn't even electrocute himself
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Texas opens first 4D rollercoaster where the seats spin independently of the car, making throwing up on yourself rather than the person behind you easier
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Fri August 29, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Officer who told people in Ferguson he would "farking kill" them and to "go fark yourself" is now out of a farking job
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(TechEBlog)
 
 
 
A few situations where you shouldn't take a selfie. I'm sure you Farkers can think of more
source: techeblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The cast of Star Trek TNG get together to take a selfie with TJ Hooker
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Missouri duo takes selfie with friend's corpse, say they want credit for creating the 'Deadie'
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 


Thu August 28, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Why won't Obama lead... himself down to Men's Wearhouse and get himself a real suit?
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl shot in back with arrow, removes it herself and suffers no serious injuries. Father, wearing horn-rimmed glasses, has no comment
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
If you're going to dump a corpse in a driveway in a neighboring town, do not take a picture of yourself with it and post it on Facebook
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 

Displayed 288 of about 466 links -- join TotalFark to see them all

Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report