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348 headlines found matching 'elf'
Sun September 25, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(MSN)
 
 
 
This is how bad it has gotten for cops these days: GA policewoman shot by a black man while on duty finds herself charged with four felonies, all because the black guy didn't exist...and she wasn't actually shot
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 23, 2016
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You might be high if you find yourself listening to the 'dawn chorus' of morning birds. Except they're fish instead of birds
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
To whom it may concern: Cara is tardy this morning as a result of a condition known as teenage-ism. She suffered from an inability to remove herself from her bed, and also felt the need to talk back to her birth-giver
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Apparently "Q" has gone into business for himself
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The death of Mia Farrow's adopted son, Thaddeus Wilks Farrow, turns out to have been less "tragic car accident" and more "tragic self-inflicted gunshot wound"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comcast SportsNet NE)
 
 
 
"The irony is that, as often as Belichick is described nationally as arrogant and ego-driven, at the core of the Patriots success is selflessness. Annihilation of the ego"
source: csnne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 22, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
If you had "five days" as the answer to "How long will it take Donald Trump to distance himself from his own statement that President Obama was born in the United States?" step forward and claim your prize
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Beer keeps you hydrated, makes you happy and friendly, provides iron, and other things you need to keep telling yourself to avoid accepting the fact that you're a raging alcoholic
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 21, 2016
(MSN)
 
 
 
Nike may have changed the modern sneaker game with its self-tying shoes
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Five stocks to own in anticipation of a Clinton win in November. Although if you're hedging your bets, you can also get stock in wall-building companies and Cheeto-brand self tanning products
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Computerworld)
 
 
 
Autonomous ships will hit the water by 2017. Although the idea of a boat propelling itself without a captain is nothing new. Right, Captain Hazelwood?
source: computerworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Kid eating alone in lunchroom suddenly finds himself surrounded
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"At some point in your life everyone should try traveling alone." You get to do what you want, make new friends and finally realize it's okay to be by yourself
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There are many questions you should ask yourself before participating in the Caroline Reaper pepper-eating challenge. The first is, 'Why?'
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Whole Foods fined $3.5 million for not being self righteous about their own environmental pollution
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 20, 2016
(Vice)
 
 
 
Here's how to get a wifi signal on top of Mount Everest, should you ever find yourself there
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bristol Post (UK))
 
 
 
A review of British beard and hair trends, region by region. "Belfast boys are channelling the likes of Hugh Jackman and Paul Rudd, with 36% admitting to having untameable chest hair"
source: bristolpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Donald Trump attended an Ohio pastors meeting chaired by his "Liaison for Christian Policy," a man who said he stopped a tsunami by himself through thought and prayer
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
In August Google began testing self-driving cars in Arizona and already one of them has been hit by a drunk driver
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 19, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Jeb Bush got himself a new job
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 16, 2016
(Vox)
 
 
 
Congress doesn't get much done because it's become a self-perpetuating grift
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Not to make you self-conscious, but you're probably not even walking correctly
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump campaign distances itself from Trump
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 15, 2016
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Sloppy smoker nearly destroys landmark Belfast pub after dropping smouldering cigarette butt into hanging flower basket
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Jazz bass legend Victor Wooten tries his hand at progressive metal. Decide on the results for yourself
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Fans of the 80s film The Goonies have a chance to own props from the buddy teen comedy, though much like the film itself, the props haven't aged well
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Epoch Times)
 
 
 
ICANN barely believe it myself, but China might have control of the internet by October 1st
source: theepochtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
17-year-old kid kills parents who had disciplined him over crazy party. He was charged with murder but he threw himself on the mercy of the court. Said he deserved mercy because he's an orphan
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 14, 2016
(The Stack)
 
 
 
So now you can learn how to build your own self-driving car. What could go wrong?
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
GOP Lawmaker wins primary days after killing himself. Other GOP candidates, take notice
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Makeup artist transforms herself into Steve Buscemi
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 13, 2016
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you're a college student learning to cook for yourself the first time away from home, always remember to store your lime and garlic in the dark, invest in Sriracha and soy sauce, and avoid sugary drinks
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Self driving cars are playing Grand Theft Auto V in order to become better drivers, run over more hookers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 11, 2016
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Elon Musk-splains that self-driving cars are hard to get right
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rush Limbaugh)
 
 
 
Rush Limbaugh considers himself an intellectual. That's the joke
source: rushlimbaugh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
If you guessed 'two months and two weeks' for the length of time Johnny Manziel's self-imposed sobriety would last, step up and collect your prize
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump uses Trump Foundation money to buy absolutely stunning painting of himself, if by absolutely stunning, you mean absolutely mediocre and average. Also, not supposed to use money to buy paintings of himself
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 10, 2016
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
It's looking like Elon Musk really was right when he called Apple's self-driving car division a graveyard
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump claims Clinton could shoot someone and not get prosecuted, which is basically what he said about himself six months ago
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 09, 2016
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Vikings' head coach Zimmer picks a starting quarterback, but keeps it to himself. Titans head coach Mularkey picks a booger, but keeps it to himself
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
People lose their shiat when they see a Google self-driving car
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Amateur cyclist out for a casual ride finds himself leading the Tour of Britain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
In a step up from "Camelly McCamelface", zoo names ugly-assed baby camel "Alexander Camelton"
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 08, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Self-described "anarcho-libertarian" gets upset at the students protesting campus open-carry in TX so he does what any rational person does: produces a short film with an actress made up to look like the protest leader getting shot by a black burglar
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USC)
 
 
 
Fasting for several days triggers your immune system to regenerate itself. Welp, we're boned
source: news.usc.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Millennials who are unsure of who to vote for this election are being wooed by none other than the Master of Potatoes himself, Samwise Gamgee
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Did Donald Trump accidentally declare himself ineligible for the presidency? "I don't recall"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 07, 2016
(US News)
 
 
 
"Hillary Clinton says that she can't remember what a 'c' in brackets stands for... See, that is her signature. With a 'c' in bracket right there... Thousands of examples where she herself has used a 'c' in brackets by herself"
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Selfies go to next logical level: hyper-realistic 3D statues of your head made in just four seconds
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Once again, Ann Coulter is the least self-aware person in the room, tries to blame Comedy Central for making her look bad
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 06, 2016
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Self-proclaimed crack-smoking alcoholic denies having sex with girl. Points for the honest parts. Dings for the lie
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
"Hey, there's that iconic sandstone pedestal on the beach. Should we A: Take selfies with it? B: Marvel in its wonder? or C: Push it over?
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Researchers chip away at yet another thing you thought was unique about yourself
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
"You know that Daniel Radcliffe has declared himself an atheist?" Kasich said to no one in particular. "I'm serious. What a weird thing. Why would a guy who has had all that success just, I mean, what the hell is wrong with him?"
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 05, 2016
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Because SOME people seem to react negatively to the phrase 'lab-grown meat', the lab-grown meat industry has invented a new, slightly less creepy name for itself
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PJ Media)
 
 
 
Here's a tip, Gov. FASface: if people are turning down jobs because they make more on welfare, maybe those jobs need to pay more
source: pjmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The Pentagon's spy agency Tweets for China to stay classy, San Diego to go fark itself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 04, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
First cop on scene of Tupac's shooting doubts veracity of new viral video's "Tupac selfie", also says despite rumors, he didn't shoot him...or provide a body double
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"A mother who called herself a snob and slammed a member of her ex-husband's family for speaking 'Geordie' and living on a 'grotty' housing estate has lost custody of her children"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Conservatives want smaller government as an end in itself; liberals don't seek bigger government per se - they want government to achieve certain things, which is quite different"
source: krugman.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 03, 2016
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
Here's a look at the plane-spotter culture, those people who spend all their free time outside airport fences with cameras: "It's a bit like a drug. I keep telling myself I'm not going to do this, but then I find myself back here"
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Science keeps figuring out the neuro-psychological causes of problems you know you have but that you didn't even know there was a name for, let alone an entire spectrum on which to rank yourself. Today: Let's talk about your prosopagnosia
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Farms aren't waiting around as they start to use self-driving tractors. They've already been using drones to check the back forty. They'll be the first to use robots for hand picking fruits and vegetables whenever that happens
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Two months ago: "'I just poured a keg of cleaning fluid all over my pants. Went outside to stand in the sun as a Google Maps car drove by. Look for me on Street View soon. I'll be the guy that looks like he pissed himself.' Today: Hey, there's me
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 02, 2016
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Pitch Perfect 3 finds itself a new director
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Product Design & Development)
 
 
 
Automakers and mechanics just realized they're gonna make a frikkin' FORTUNE from self-driving cars that won't let you skip maintenance intervals
source: pddnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Brother says Mariah Carey's for no one but herself and has abandoned her family
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
People who self-identify as "very right wing" also have the freakiest sex lives
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Never bring a selfie stick to a bolt cutter fight
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
Weeners
 
Oh...Canada. "Mounties were called to a gas station at two in the morning last week because a man had taken his clothes off and was bathing his genitals in milk after accidentally spraying himself with bear spray"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 01, 2016
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Seattle's Chris Iannetta angrily storms off to the dugout thinking he struck out, only to be informed he actually walked. You gotta believe in yourself
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
So, how drunk do you have to be to mistake a concealed gun for a cell phone and shoot yourself while answering? Bonus points: while in the dentist's chair
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The camera really does add 10 pounds. Barrel length and focal distortion are the reason that I look morbidly jolly in my selfies. Spending all of my waking hours trying to bury my feelings by eating cheesecakes has nothing to do with it
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Post the last picture you took of yourself
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Bill Nye (the science guy) is finally getting another TV show... meanwhile, Beakman is drinking himself to death in an alley somewhere
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 31, 2016
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Turns out the secret to sleeping in class or meeting is just commissioning a life-size poster board portrait of oneself, looking incredibly alert and just a little academic, wearing the exact clothes you'll be sporting to school that day"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Science has been looking into this over the summer, and they have conclusive proof that Superman could totes disguise himself as Clark Kent with a pair of dollar-store eyeglasses
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I went to the bathroom this morning myself, but I didn't make it to the front page of the Washington Post
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It seems like Trump can gain nothing, and potentially really embarass himself, with his trip to Mexico. Bonus quote from TFA: "The only countries that preferred Trump were China and Russia"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 30, 2016
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Massachusetts wants to move itself into a new time zone because its resident alcoholics want to day-drink longer in the winter or something
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
Boobies
 
French Prime Minister weighs in on burkini debate, declaring himself for liberté, égalité, free mammaries
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Neurosurgeon who wants to do the first human head transplant "compares himself to Dr. Frankenstein, mentions Nazi doctor Josef Mengele and has written a guide to seducing women"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man turns himself in for mislabelling how much nuts the contents of his package truly contained
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Hey, if you ran a daycare full of screaming kids you'd find yourself keeping meth in your office pretty quickly too
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 29, 2016
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Let's go back in time and watch an awful TV show Trump wanted to make all about his precious self. Pssst ...Bring the throwup bags and get a load of the main character's name
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Joe Biden is the geopolitical therapist, proving himself to be a touch Robert Hartley and Tobias Funke
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 28, 2016
(Elkhart Truth)
 
 
 
Murder suspect to represent himself in court, saying he knows everything he needs to know about lawyers by watching TV
source: elkharttruth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas county GOP Chair who was known to be a rabid conspiracy theorist, racist, and crackpot winds up getting himself ousted because he made one idiotic mistake
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Formula 1)
 
 
 
Mercedes has bookends this weekend with Rosberg at the front and Hamilton at the rear due to grid penalties. After the August break it is time to treat yourself to a Spa day and the Formula 1 Belgian Grand Prix at 8am EDT on NBCSN
source: formula1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 27, 2016
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Wait, wait, Cancel that. I guess it says HELF
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 26, 2016
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Gotham show runner defends himself by arguing superhero shows are supposed to suck
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The woman who fell 40 feet to her death from a zip line platform had disconnected herself from the safety system, a spokesman for Go Ape Tree Top Adventure said Thursday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
That deep throaty chuckle of self-satisfaction mixed with a tinge of relief and vindictiveness you heard in DC yesterday came from Paul Manafort as he watched Trump publicly contradict what his own campaign manager had just said the day before
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Come for the story about a high-speed car chase in England, stay for the phrase "...embedding itself in St Clair's groin"
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Andrew Luck, you just signed a $140 million deal. How are you going to treat yourself?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 25, 2016
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you live in Singapore, you can be one of the first to get a ride from a self-driven Taxi. So as to ease in new riders, company plans on adding artificial cab driver stink to help the passengers feel more at home
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So for all of those who have always wanted to buy Truman Capote's ashes but thought to yourself, there's no way that could ever happen, I got good news
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 24, 2016
(Slate)
 
 
 
"There is no horse race here. Clinton is far enough ahead, at a late enough stage in the election, that what we have is a horse running by itself, unperturbed but for the faint possibility of a comet hitting the track"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Describe yourself with 3 words or less
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
In a Columbo plot gone wild, woman poses as a Dateline producer to entice brain damaged man to re-enact 911 call, killing him to take the heat off in 2011 murder investigation, then gets all self-stabby in jail
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 23, 2016
(NinePlanets.org)
 
 
 
50 years ago today the Earth saw a picture of itself for the first time from the moon
source: nineplanets.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It's not Evel Knievel, it's Holy Spicolli, the daredevil motorcycle jumping pastor. Says his jumps are symbolic of his faith, with the ramp representing the highs and lows in life. Gas prices represent sin and the self-driving car is the devil
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton has lowered herself to doing feats of strength in her efforts to defeat the inevitable Trump presidency. If only she had a saxophone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 22, 2016
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Republican candidate for Florida's district 19 has complete meltdown during a radio interview. And you thought Trump has self-control problems. (Not safe for work audio)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Mike Pence drinks the Kool-Aid, says Donald Trump would "most definitely get 95% of the African American vote" in 2020. Well, yeah, if Trump somehow won and declared himself dictator and OH GOD THAT'S HIS PLAN
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 21, 2016
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Rocker Jeff Beck doesn't think much of self driving cars, probably because he owns a bunch of classic antique cars, all of which require humans to drive
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 20, 2016
(NFL)
 
 
 
There's football going on. Does anyone care? Will subby end up talking to himself again? Pre-season football featuring Washington @ NYJ, Dallas @ Miami, and San Diego @ Arizona. Carolina @ Tennessee kicks everything off at 3 PM ET
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
♫ Come gather 'round Bronies, where ever you be, and plant yourself in front of the TV. That spot on the screen, from last season's ending, leads in to this weeks episode The Times They Are a Changeling ♫ 11:30 AM ET on Discovery Family
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Problem: You've just been released from the hospital, but it's too late to catch a bus. Solution: Just hop in the ambulance parked out front and drive yourself home
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe may be one step closer to wearing pink underwear himself
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 19, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - the last photo or selfie you'll take
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dear advice columnist: I love throwing dinner parties, but I'm too cheap and self-righteous of an asshole to buy alcohol. How do I tell them that it's BYOB without sounding, you know, like a cheap and self-righteous asshole?
source: live.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Self-stirring camera lens mug. For World Photography Day, and the photographer in your life who knows what an f-stop is and how to take a photo without the autofocus engaged. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Post a true statement about yourself
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 18, 2016
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Do you prefer to make some condiments yourself over store bought options? Share your favorite flavorful condiment recipes to the right
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dear Florida, I hope you never change. The world would have nothing to laugh at or nothing to raise their own self esteem without you
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Barnes & Noble puts its new CEO back on the shelf because he "doesn't fit"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 17, 2016
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Murderer disguises himself by shaving his head and face while on the run but is eventually given away by his weird teeth. Steve Buscemi unavailable for comment
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 16, 2016
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Why Olympic racers run 1500 meters instead of a mile (1609 meters), and why this is self-evidently stupid
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Spy vs. Spy was such a good description of the Cold War because its creator was a Cuban expatriate who was once accused of being a spy himself
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MIT)
 
 
 
MIT would like you to ride along in a self driving car .... to decide who lives and who dies
source: moralmachine.mit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 15, 2016
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Melania Trump Stumbles Upon Dozens Of Husband's Haunting, Macabre Self-Portraits
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
For all you selfie bums, here is the best place to take one in all 50 states
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Shopping for underwear? Go for it. Trying them on in the middle of the store? Heck, why not. Putting them back on the shelf? DIAF
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
There's actually a genuine reason Trump could find himself in criminal hot water sooner rather than later, and it has nothing to do with "2nd Amendment people"
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cheat Sheet)
 
 
 
The best ways to tell if someone is a psychopath include their penchant for taking a lot of selfies, not yawning with you, and paying for Fark
source: cheatsheet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 14, 2016
(Draft Magazine)
 
 
 
Due to bad harvest last year, there will be less pumpkin beer on sale this fall, leaving more shelf and tap space for beer beer
source: draftmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 13, 2016
(Brain Pickings)
 
 
 
The Hobbit, as read by Tolkien himself. He does a British accent very convincingly
source: brainpickings.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Want to find a way to gorge yourself silly before summer's out? Here is a list of food to try at every MLB ball park, where even cauliflower makes the list
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 12, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Turns out atomic bombs aren't bad for you after all - so go ahead, treat yourself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 11, 2016
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
Pardon me as I collect myself. I just caught some photos of Ann Margret in her prime and she done took my breath away. So, what were we talking about again? Some such about Hillary and Trump?
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch Trump contradict himself on every single issue
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"All the pubs are closing down thanks to your selfish home drinking"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 10, 2016
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Turns out that Trump himself tweets like a scared and anxious person. Sadǃ
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Red Bull)
 
 
 
Bored of Go and Chess, self-learning computer algorithms begin destroying people at Smash Bros instead
source: redbull.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Chinese boxer Lü Bin gets full marks for self-confidence in his Olympic boxing match, none for winning
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 09, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I never thought I'd find myself being chased around a pool by a naked man in his sixties with a can of squirty cream." Well that leaves Donald Trump out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 08, 2016
(Film News (UK))
 
 
 
Hugh Grant says he's too self-conscious to dance in movies unless he drinks a bunch of vodak and practices the moves in his underwear: "Very much like Tom Cruise, I like a bit of a dance sometimes in my pants"
source: film-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
And you may find yourself unable to afford living in a shotgun shack. And you may ask yourself "Well, how did we get here?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Erick Shute, the "sovereign citizen" who murdered his neighbors in cold blood, says it was "self defense" and he "did nothing wrong" because as a sovereign citizen he can kill whomever he wants
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 07, 2016
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Before you pat yourself on the back for letting someone cut in front of you at the supermarket or in traffic, this woman let a girl cut in front of her at the hospital...for her liver transplant
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Giancarlo Stanton out-Stantoned himself with a mammoth 504' home run. It was glorious, majestic, undeniably Stantonesque, and the longest home run hit in Coors Field history
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 06, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Trendy vegan mayo company loves its vegan mayo so much it's mostly selling it to itself
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
There's nothing sadder than being alone on your birthday and singing 'Happy Birthday to you' to yourself. Unless you're a Martian rover, that is
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Those of you who like to eat, drink coffee and groom yourself behind the wheel in NJ are going to have to make some changes
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 05, 2016
(Today)
 
 
 
Mike Pence denies that Trump is being manipulated by Putin, insists that he's trying to help Russia all by himself
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
"If you could ask yourself one question what would it be?"
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 04, 2016
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Charlotte man charged with conspiring to help ISIS. Which is just another reason why I'm more of a Samantha fan myself
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkey issues arrest warrant for cleric. Paladin and half elf dual-classed ranger also wanted for questioning
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 03, 2016
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Poor impulse control can get your Facebook account suspended, especially when you livestream yourself pointing a shotgun at police
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Can't see yourself voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton? You have four options
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Judge rules that self-proclaimed expert businessman can't claim he didn't know his own company's business model
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Millennials are putting off sex. As a Millennial himself, subby was quite shocked by this revelation
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 02, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman shoots video and accidentally shoots self because . . . Florida
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 01, 2016
(Gawker)
 
 
 
After he actually contacted the FDA about getting the blood of the young and poor to sustain himself indefinitely, Gawker outs Peter Thiel as an apparent vampire
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 31, 2016
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Quincannon gives Jesse one last chance to speak to his congregation. Will Jesse finally get some answers from God Himself? Will Emily turn evil? Will Arseface escape Hell? It's your Preacher Season Finale Discussion Thread, 9 PM ET on AMC
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The American Conservative)
 
 
 
"By looking down on the hillbilly, you can get that high of self-righteousness and superiority without violating any of the moral norms of your own tribe. So your own prejudice is never revealed for what it is"
source: theamericanconservative.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 30, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
I had to think twice about submitting this, wondering if we've reached the point where "Anti-gay, family values Republican found to have video of himself in a sex act on his official computer" is not even Fark-worthy any more
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Book Guy)
 
 
 
The Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for some helpful advice. Specifically, what are the best self-help books one should read?
source: bestcounselingschools.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 29, 2016
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Gwyneth Paltrow wants to distance herself from Goop. Well, ask the maids to change the sheets then
source: lifewise.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australia to update local coordinates over tectonic shift, as it moves seven cm northwards each year. It's true, not only is everything down under out to kill you, even the continent itself is stalking Indonesia
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Vikings backup quarterback injured himself breaking into a home. Fark: His own home
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar introduces himself as Michael Jordan because he knows Donald Trump can't tell the difference, which is both a funny joke and unfortunately true
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Man tells police he didn't intend to film a woman using his shower. He was actually filming himself urinating beforehand and forgot to turn his device off (Bonus: Mugshot)
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 28, 2016
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
One more delegate for Darwin: Dumbass sets herself on fire trying to light a U.S. flag on fire outside the DNC convention
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Johnson to gently insert himself into DNC today. Feel the Johnson
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when the Adele drag queen slays more than Adele herself
source: cities97.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kremlin to U.S.: Tell the oompa loopa we don't work for him and he can go find the missing emails himself
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Scottie Nell Hughes, the Bellatrix Lestrange to Donald Trump's Lord Voldemort, goes unhinged when a fellow reporter mentions Freddie Gray was killed by police negligence; according to Hughes, Gray "killed himself by jumping around"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 27, 2016
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Indiana 'rapper' shoots himself in the face for music video
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 26, 2016
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
"A team of international researchers has created a material that self-assembles on command into swarms, chains, or clusters." Why can't anything self assemble into butterflies or cupcakes?
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
You know who else killed himself in Berlin after getting bad news?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 25, 2016
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
A child psychologist finds himself in hot water after running a Craigslist ad for 'Daddy road trips' in order to teach underage girls how to have "a healthy sex life"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
California finally admits that Ronald Reagan was full of sh*t about welfare queens
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 24, 2016
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Wait...let me take a selfie
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 22, 2016
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Belfast, Maine adds permanent pickleball court. What's pickleball you ask? "It's the fastest growing sport in America"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 21, 2016
(Billboard)
 
 
 
Texas country singer debuts "Sellout Song" that apes pop/hip-hop blend of modern bro-country genre, inoculating himself against accusations of selling out by making fun of himself for selling out... while enjoying the sound and look of selling out
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Democrats upgrade Paul Ryan's "Intern Selfie" from monochrome to technicolor
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Ted Cruz is a dumb son of a biatch." Is he? Or did he just position himself for 2020?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Family takes selfies with dead polar bear, asks "Was that wrong? Should we not have done that?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Chris Christie (R-pot) calls Ted Cruz (R-kettle) "awful and selfish"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 20, 2016
(IMDB)
 
 
 
How would you survive in a post-5/9 world? Will you hide at your mom's house, decode Seinfeld or throw yourself into work at Evil Corp? Settle in with your imaginary father and watch Mr. Robot on USA Network, 10PM ET
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Self-taught tattoo artist creates photo-like realistic drawings on human skin. It's a digital masterpiece
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 19, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Donald Trump has prided himself on being an unconventional candidate whose campaign does things his own way and ignores precedent. But, as the blowback from Melania's speech demonstrates, there is often a good reason things are done the way they are
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 18, 2016
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
Arsenal Ladies star further distinguishes herself my making an incredible goal from 40 yards out. Did I say "goal?" I meant "own goal"
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Missing lynx still missing. Zoo worried hunters may shoot him just for the selfie. "Idiots are out there trying to snare or shoot him just for a selfie next to a corpse"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Every time I read a Black Lives Matter article I constantly have to remind myself they are not talking about the Bureau of Land Management. What other shared acronyms have cause confusion for you?
source: blm.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
141 exceptionally luxurious things Trump has done to disqualify himself from being President. The list, much like his hands, appears to be too small
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 17, 2016
(ESPN)
 
 
 
I'm pissed off now, Jobu. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You no help me now. I say "Fark you Jobu," I do it myself
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 16, 2016
(Neuroscience News)
 
 
 
Are you shy? Uncomfortable or awkward in social situations? Don't blame yourself, it's just your immune system
source: neurosciencenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 15, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Driving tests get rid of three-point turns because they're the easiest way to get yourself killed on real roads
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Paul Ryan can't even bring himself to say that Trump will actually change in order to appeal to more sane, rational human beings. "I believe he's going to endeavor, to try" Therewasanattempt.jpg
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
TX Lt Governor makes an ass of himself yet again
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 14, 2016
(The Register)
 
 
 
Physicists declare graphene "self-folding origami"
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 13, 2016
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Problem: New Jersey's pistol permit process is so onerous suicidal people can't buy guns to kill themselves with. Solution: Rent a gun at local range and kill yourself there. Fark: Second gun rental suicide at same range in last two months
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Uber customer service speaks for itself in the preferred salty language of sailors, truckers, and Tourette Syndrome enthusiasts
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Racism didn't exist until late 2014, when a black thug got himself killed to make white cops look bad. But wait, there's more
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl sets Maryland record after catching fish larger than herself
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 12, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lamar Odom removed from Delta flight twice after 'vomiting all over the aircraft and himself following hours of pounding beers and whiskey in the airport lounge'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Awful Announcing)
 
 
 
Joe Buck would like you to know he's trying to re-invent himself
source: awfulannouncing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ruth Bader Ginsburg's recent anti-Trump remarks mean she might have to recuse herself from any election-related cases this fall; Clinton campaign spokesman Ian Faith says no big deal; it's not like presidential elections come before the Supreme Court
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 11, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Missed my flight. Better hang myself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Everybody, remain calm. The price of oil is tanking. There is nothing to fear but fear of Asia collapsing in on itself. Also, the British. Really, just blame the Brits for all economic woes in the next ten years
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Can you understand what maniacal elf Ariana Grande is saying? Take this quiz and find out
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 10, 2016
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
SyFy is trying to reinvent itself. Again
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 09, 2016
(Jayski's Silly Season Site)
 
 
 
Pour yourself some Maker's Mark, turn the anti-48 and 18 idols to full, and rub the large testicles of your favorite squirrel for luck, the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series is in Kentucky for the FARK.com Uniting Friends In America 400, 7:30 PM ET on NBCSN
source: jayski.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Mike Huckabee pushes back from the buffet trough just long enough to open his pie-hole about Trump. Oh, and he's still bitter that voters chose that asshole over himself, because he's clearly a better asshole at assholing
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
This man has made 220 videos of himself sitting in a corner and smiling for four hours at a time. Farkers everywhere envious of man's time-wasting abilities
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 08, 2016
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why cats are so selfish
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Dallas sniper attended a "self-defense and personal protection gym" in Fort Worth that happily trains civilians to conduct urban warfare
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Self-regulation, not self-control, is what matters when it comes to children. Well, we'll just see what Laura Branigan has to say about that
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Ways to end up in hell when you die: fake a cancer diagnosis to raise money for yourself
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Do-it-yourself transcranial electric brain stimulation may pose risks to wombat uranium maple commode nonlinear poop Trump slurpee
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 07, 2016
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Man drowns himself into Pensacola Bay after police inform him he's still using Verizon. Can you hear me now?
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jayski's Silly Season Site)
 
 
 
Norm's finally going to make a race, so sit yourself down on a slatted chair and wait for a pickle incident to stop the caution clock as the NASCAR Truck Series heads to Kentucky Speedway for the TFD Core Selfies 225, 8:30 PM ET on FS1
source: jayski.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
A 16-million-year-old planet has been discovered orbiting three suns. The planet is about four times as massive as Jupiter, which makes subby kinda wonder why it didn't become a star itself
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The Silver Surfer has really let himself go
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Google says its self-driving cars can learn cyclists' hand signals, are still working on recognizing middle finger gesture
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Nearly 2,000 Americans were polled to see how they felt about spoilers. We'd tell you the result here in the headline but someone might get all angsty in the comments, so you'll just have to click the link yourself
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
A Tesla self-driving vehicle has crashed. Not a repeat and this one can't be blamed on a DVD
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 06, 2016
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Note to self: a trampoline is maybe not the best shield against rogue explosive things
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Tesla waited nine days to report self-driving car fatality as Elon Musk was too busy working on Ultron
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Alaska mountain gets married, gets depressed, and lets itself go. Then in a fit of inspirational self-empowerment, loses 1/2 its body weight in no time flat with this one weird trick: a 2.9 Richter Scale landslide covering 7 miles
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 05, 2016
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"He shot himself accidentally. Then he decided to shoot again"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Donald Trump just alienated himself from big business
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
British Islamic State jihadist goes "Nutella," blows himself up in Iraq
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
You mean you couldn't bed Megan Fox or Angelababy all by yourself, Mr. Chinese businessman? That's no reason to sue an Australian escort agency for your failure in life
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 04, 2016
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Rules of a successful robbery: 1) choose your victim carefully; 2) have an escape route planned; 3) don't shoot yourself in the groin; 4) see Rule 3
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
The cop who exposes himself while patting you down and then departs on a skateboard might be an imposter. But then again, it is Florida
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 03, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump veep hopeful Tom Cotton has to be asked three times to make the case for Trump, finally gives up and says Trump can "make the case for himself"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMSA)
 
 
 
They're back from Le Mans. Prepare yourself for six hours of beautiful sports cars racing at one of the greatest tracks in America. It's the six hours of the Glen on FS1, 10am ET
source: imsa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 02, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Taking selfies is actually bad for your health
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Woman that proudly proclaimed herself "The Duck Whisperer" pulls a gun on a neighbor over a missing duck. I guess you could say... *puts on sunglasses*... she didn't have all her ducks in a row
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Scientists at Boston's Northeastern University have isolated a group of bacteria that consume the chemical the brain uses to calm itself. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 01, 2016
(The Korea Times)
 
 
 
If you didn't know already: Kim Jong-un had one hell of a f'ed up childhood, suffers from obesity-related problems and does a bit of binge drinking because of the Fark headlines he reads about himself
source: koreatimes.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In today's edition of things you never thought you'd read on the Internet: Woman who calls herself "A-Bus-Full-of-Retards" crowned Miss Hitler 2016
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 30, 2016
(ABC News)
 
 
 
First self driving car death in the U.S., with a Tesla S on autopilot going under a tractor trailer because it thought it saw Sarah Connor
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grind TV)
 
 
 
Cyclist attempts self-built 40-foot full loop. It does not go as planned
source: grindtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Renee Zellweger faces a Hollywood paradox: if you have plastic surgery and you no longer resemble your old self, are you now NOT Renee Zellweger, but some other actress? Hollywood does not handle complexity well
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Here's something you can share with your Facebook friends who like to tell you Trump is self-funding his campaign
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 29, 2016
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Police want help identifying man unable to identify himself. Right now it looks like he's having enough fun not being identified
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Guy drinks himself silly for eight hours, plows into concrete wall, sues bar because what a bunch of irresponsible jerks
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Would you describe yourself as a voyeur or an exhibitionist?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
I know, I know. I asked myself the same question: WHY did it take SO LONG for SOMEONE to combine livestock auctioneers and hip-hop beats?
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 28, 2016
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Airbnb accidentally sues itself
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Imam finds himself in a pickle after pieces of cucumber are found in his rectum
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Former Colts RB accidentally kills himself at Mike Riehl's Roseville Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram Dealership on Gratiot Avenue, where they have an absolutely huge new vehicle inventory with hundreds of new vehicle models for sale at competitive prices
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Father manages to recreate daughter's selfies with perfect duck face pouts & fake tattoos by trolling her social media pages. He drops the mic. She will never date again
source: v103.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Parents are so worried about protecting their kids from boobies and weeners that they failed to hide self-immolation and other stuff that's actually f**ked up
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
Hillary Clintons herself in the boobies for her stance on the Trans Pacific Partnership
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 27, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
France Surrenders...to itself. Didn't see that coming
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cancer patient wanted nothing more than to meet Bon Jovi for over thirty years. So, when she was out trying to enjoy dinner, who crashes her meal other than Bon Jovi himself, making her wish come true
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is self-destructing before our very eyes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"It would be horribly tragic if my ability to protect myself or my family were to be taken away, but that's exactly what Democrats are determined to do by banning semi-automatic handguns," she said, before shooting her family to death
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 26, 2016
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Because we know you like to be kept up on advances in Lego tech, you can build yourself a pancake-delivery system now
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Science says this is why Florida is so farked up. Here comes the Climate Aggression and Self-Control in Humans hypothesis
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Many Brexiters survive on EU welfare funds. Proving once again, you can't fix moran
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 24, 2016
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dem who opposed welfare fraud measure indicted for food stamp fraud
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Out of 7000 "Run across hot coals to prove you're a fearless executive warrior" types attending a Tony Robbins seminar, there were 40 who thought they could stop, take a selfie, update Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and emerge unscathed
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Have UFO hunters finally found 'absolute proof of life' on Mars? Short answer: No. Long answer: Why don't you go over and play with yourself in the corner while the adults talk among themselves
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 23, 2016
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Issue of Playboy condemns unauthorized photo of itself and Trump, Jerry Falwell, Jr
source: babylonbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
"Your self-driving car will be programmed to kill you - deal with it"
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Oscar Pistorius says, 'Reeva wouldn't want me to spend my life behind bars', and it's too bad he killed her, or she'd tell the court that herself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is so generous, he just forgave $50M in loans he had made -- to himself
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 22, 2016
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Trump's Greatest Hits live concert album, remixed and remastered by the man himself. Bottom Line: Save your money
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Worried about those E3 reports of Playstation VR not working well with PS Move controllers? Try it for yourself. Like today
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book Resources)
 
 
 
Tricia Helfer becomes much more dangerous than a cylon. She's now Lucifer's mother
source: comicbookresources.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 21, 2016
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Daniel Radcliffe remembers the advice Donald Trump gave his nervous 11-year-old self
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ocala Star-Banner)
 
 
 
Man poops himself, kicks down the door of his former home, takes off his shorts and is promptly shot in the stomach. Alcohol may have been a factor
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClearPolitics)
 
 
 
Hillary's strategy to present herself as 'young and fresh' to win over Sanders supporters falling short on both the 'young' and 'fresh' fronts, and even the 'and' is being ridiculed
source: realclearpolitics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"George W Bush got himself on the front page of the New York Times as helping to save the Republican Party from Donald Trump without uttering a word. Nice work if you can get it"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 20, 2016
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
David Ortiz celebrates Father's Day and treats himself to his second stolen base of the year. "I'm not an expert, I just look and I run"
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
Drug name or Tolkien Elf? Subby got 28/30. Your nerdliness is challenged
source: entertainment.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are 10 ways you can trick yourself out of being lazy. Strangely absent is not spending so much time on Fark
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"There is an innate British desire to tell Europe to go f*ck itself; I feel it too." John Oliver eloquently explains the Brexit vote and what it could mean to the world with a catchy tune
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 19, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Shark dies after idiots pull it from water for selfie
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump to GOP: Fund my campaign or I'll fund it myself, with blackjack and hookers, just like I did at Trump Casino
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Report: Investigators suspect Orlando attack had little or nothing to do with ISIS. Rebuttal: FW: FW: FW: FW: Re: "OMG ISIS is coming, arm yourself BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat June 18, 2016
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Oh fudge it and go fudge yourself, here are the 25 best fudge shops in America
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 17, 2016
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
How to transform yourself into Dory the fish from "Finding Nemo" and freak out the Internet in one easy lesson
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Is There Any Deal)
 
 
 
Like that weird elf you met in the pub... the Friday Fark Gaming thread is here to help. What have you been playing lately? Buying stuff in the Steam/GOG sales? Crushing aliens in Stellaris? Doing it all in FO4? This week I've played Master of Magic
source: isthereanydeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Postal Service investigating threats made online by a woman identifying herself as one of its mail carriers who said she would destroy mail featuring Ramadan stamps
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 16, 2016
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Of the 40 people Donald Trump follows on Twitter, 35 of them are his family, employees, hotels, campaign staff, media pundits, or Apprentice contestants. Essentially, he's following himself
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
John Kasich can't bring himself to endorse Donald Trump
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Batman's The Killing Joke is too damn brutal for this guy, and he calls himself Doctor Batman
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
Did you just spill gasoline all over yourself and your car? Well, now's the time to enjoy the explosive taste of a Lucky Strike cigarette
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 15, 2016
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here - just the ripple effect of a rock 21x the size of the sun skipping across the pond that is space itself
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, meet one Gersh Kuntzman of the New York Daily News who has just crowned himself as the biggest wuss in the world
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The next time you find yourself in a foreign country and in this situation, it's OK - and even wise - to tell a lie. Really
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
Man who covered himself in butter to make it difficult to be arrested slips away from court a free man with a suspended sentence, vows not to get toasted again
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 14, 2016
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Officers declined to release the suspect, who then apparently relieved himself in the back of the car"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
I ambushed them in self-defense, your Honor
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Indiana man's fiancee kills herself and her mother after her past crimes of murder were about to be discovered. Indiana man really knew how to pick 'em
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 13, 2016
(WWE)
 
 
 
Will WWE continue beating the MITB participants into the ground? Will Stephanie put herself over the talent? Will the Shining Stars be in front of a green screen again? Find out on WWE Raw, 8 PM on USA/pre-show at 7:30 on the network
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Modern Family's Ed O'Neill reacts exactly as Ed O'Neill should react to Britney Spears asking him for a shared selfie
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stanford Daily)
 
 
 
Rapey McDumpster's expert witness has defended other unconscious-body rapers, and gets $40k for expertiness like "'pace yourself,' 'avoid Jell-O shots,' and 'beer before liquor, never sicker.'"
source: stanforddaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Orlando gunman's father says there was no real need for his son to have killed all those gay people in a nightclub because God would have punished them for their homosexuality himself
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sanders: Fark it, we've got nothing left to lose. D.C. should be a goddamn state. *mutters to himself*
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 10, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Opinions on going to a bar by yourself? The guy by himself at the bar? Voting
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Pitt U researcher now reports with certainty that Zika can be contracted after accidentally sticking yourself with a needle in the lab
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
Give him the biggest wedgie all you want people, but Marco Rubio will not turn himself into a Trumpkin
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Missing Massachusetts nightclub owner found 23 years later buried behind Rhode Island mill. It was one of those rare suicides followed by self-burial. So, move along, nothing to see here
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Consider yourself a flag expert? Do you know the meanings hidden among the color and symbols of the world's flags?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 09, 2016
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
LeBron James is just a blatant egotist who does selfish things like helping over 1000 kids go to college
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Being found sleeping at work. Very bad: By the CEO. Very very bad: Who takes a selfie with you and posts it to Twitter
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
What was it like to live in the Soviet Union? For some, it was living in a self-sufficient, independent country full of urine-smelling babushkas
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Whoever is in charge of coordinating "messaging" at Fox News must either be on vacation or one hell of a bender: an hour after Bill O'Reilly says judge Curiel should recuse himself, Megyn Kelly blasts "the pundits" who are calling for his recusing
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Founding member of the Minutemen border militia group found guilty of child molestation. Bonus: He represented himself in court because of course he did
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Vendor accidentally shoots himself on MU campus while showing his friend his gun. Missouri law does not allow guns on campus without permission from the institution. Of course there will be no charges
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Venture Beat)
 
 
 
Microsoft releases a new Windows 10 preview with new icons. It's probably already installed itself in the background so go ahead and check it out
source: venturebeat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 08, 2016
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Self-funding campaign specialist seeking cash donations
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 07, 2016
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Teen accidentally dies taking selfie with a gun. Yes, you have read this before but this just happened
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump supporter responds to Paul Ryan's accusation that Trump is racist, by saying "I know you are but what am I". He then threw himself to the ground and kicked and screamed
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's so-called "Christian Liaison" says "God himself raised Donald Trump up in order to prepare America for the second coming." Well, we've had a good run, but this joke has gone on too far
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 06, 2016
(Wow 24/7)
 
 
 
Why Joe Pesci keeps telling Martin Scorsese to Fark himself
source: wow247.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 05, 2016
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Astronomer wraps his whole body in tinfoil to shield himself from the "second" sun, then rises with the first sun and goes full KOOK by exposing NASA's coverup... or something
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat June 04, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
I'm crabby so I've opened a bottle of champagne and I'm drinking it all myself
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 03, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
OK, now Bieber's just messing with us. No one could self-parody that well without some self-awareness
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Rangers in the middle of the Central African Republic have very low bandwidth connections and are not happy with Windows 10 downloading itself in the background. - "blood could literally be on Microsoft's hands"
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hey, octopus selfie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Want to be in Trainspotting 2? Get yourself to Britain by June 14
source: i-d.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Hawaii Today)
 
 
 
60's Freedom Riders fought for an end to segregation. A 2016 Freedom Rider is fighting to end drivers licenses, to declare himself a corporation, and to have the judge in his case arrested
source: westhawaiitoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner who added huge "Obama tax" to menu items also vastly understated his income into "welfare fraud" territory. I'll take the Anti-Michelle Obama Don't Tell Me What Income To Declare Burger
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The Big 12 may be on its deathbed, and the Big 10 could beef itself up by adding Kansas and Oklahoma
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 02, 2016
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Man on quest to give himself E-Coli 366 days in a row
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wisconsin teen finds out the hard way that if you don't want to end up sobbing in your mugshot then don't get drunk, expose yourself, and try to rape the host's wife at a party your mom is also at
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Police spokesman: "We can tell you that meth may make you go to your workplace, barricade yourself in a bathroom, strip naked and refuse to come out"
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 01, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Couple trapped on cliffside saved after sending selfie to rescue crew (presumably the dick pics were meant as a thank-you)
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
The youngest self-made female billionaire ever, Elizabeth Holmes, had a net worth of $4.5 billion according to Forbes, let's check in on her and see how she is doOH MY
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Getting an awful Mike Tyson face tattoo to disguise yourself after having a hit-and-run accident is no way to go through life, woman
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
You have a solid gold, jewel encrusted eagle statue valued at five million dollars and it needs to be relocated. Do you a) hire armed security detail b) hire a Brinks truck to do the move for you or c) casually move it on the streets yourself ?
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
So who are the 100 most famous athletes in the world? ESPN devised a formula so check it out for yourself. Bonus: not a slideshow
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
You nail yourself up on that cross or does someone have to help you with the last bit?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 31, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A man who sliced his face open with a chainsaw while working on his farm miraculously survived by driving himself to hospital after "tying his head together' with bandages in his car." H-A-R-D-C-O-R-E (w. amazing X-rays)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Why Republicans are warming to Trump: "Once you've convinced yourself that a president of the other party is the very worst possible thing that could befall America, then any nominee of your party-literally no matter who-becomes a lesser evil"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Distributor of vendor-propagated ransomware warns of competitor's self-propagated ransomware. Click here to debate over which is the bigger threat
source: news.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Politician records himself burning traffic tickets he disagrees with because, duh, he's a lawmaker not a law-follower
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Thanks to everyone who tramples through restricted areas, poops on trails instead of in the bathrooms, and takes really unsafe selfies, you're the reason why the National Parks may soon limit visitors
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 30, 2016
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
It's 比卡超 and not 皮卡丘
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I spent two years of my life learning about equality, relationships and environmental issues and the exam questions were on VAPING & SELFIES"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Christian conservatives want to start regulating sex so poor people won't have it so as not to create "welfare babies"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
♫ Nightswimming, feed yourself to the crocs at night..♪
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
If you find yourself spending Memorial Day at the beach, please refrain from taking a selfie with a baby seal
source: thinkmaine.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"My wife thinks I'm crazy just because I Iike cats." "Why, there's nothing crazy about liking cats. I like cats myself." "Really? You should come to my house, I've got 81 of them stacked to the ceiling along a 12-foot wall"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun May 29, 2016
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Let us ponder the great sculptures in history: Michelangelo's David, Rodin's Thinker, two girls taking a selfie outside city hall in Sugar Land, Texas
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
New research finds that letting a baby cry itself to sleep won't harm its health, but will harm your 5 hour flight
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
My bff has a wonderful husband that she is suspicious of and doesn't appreciate. She just called and 'forbade' me from meeting him for lunch. What do you do when someone you care about starts to self-destruct?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Militiaman who calls himself the "Picasso of machine guns" was arrested for trying to smuggle one to members of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge occupation
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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