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286 headlines found matching 'elf'
Mon August 03, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Medium)
 
 
 
Self-strengthening bridges made out of rubber tree roots in India last for hundreds of years, and never decay
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Sat August 01, 2015
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Bees think Anti--Vaxxers are stupid and selfish too
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Jared the Subway pervert paid a 16-year-old girl $100 for sex, bragged about it to Subway employee girlfriend, pressured said girlfriend to advertise herself on Craigslist so he could watch. The Aristocrats
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(282)
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Police get a called to a home to check on the welfare of an occupant inside and find 12 cats, 4 ferrets, 3 dogs and fully-grown pig. Bonus: The occupant was later arrested for threatening the lady she believed had called police
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Fri July 31, 2015
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
The 'self declared' sausage capital of New Zealand may be going limp. "It's concerning to me as a sausage eater," said Mr Low
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Suntory has challenged itself, before this decade is out, to put a bottle of Yamazaki Sherry Malt Cask 2013 on the ISS and return it safely to Earth
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
NC high school principal back on the job after being videotaped threatening teacher, posting nude selfies on Instagram
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As Sanders begins to surge in the polls Hillary Clinton tries to position herself to his left, which given that he is a socialist, likely means either joining an ashram in Asheville, NC or doing her hair in "white girl dreads" and going to Burning Man
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 


Thu July 30, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Religious fanatic can't control himself around gay people
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 


Wed July 29, 2015
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
So last week : Hacking a car. New hotness : hacking a self-aiming sniper rifle
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Instead of doing something useful, like complaining about the Iran deal, Congress is going to tear itself apart in August. Wait, that may be useful after all
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Big game dentist defends himself saying, "I had no idea." Yeah, well as protest, I'm not flossing for a year
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(430)
 


Tue July 28, 2015
(Slate)
 
 
 
Who was the most powerful character in the Lord of the Rings Universe? Thoughtful essay to the left. Raging dwarf vs elf debate to the right
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Dangerous Minds)
 
 
 
Alex Winter's post Bill and Ted career comes to its apex as he readies himself to direct THE Frank Zappa documentary
source: dangerousminds.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 


Mon July 27, 2015
(Metro US)
 
 
 
Lingerie football league fights for its legitimacy, renames itself Legends Football League to completely get away from its offensive sexist image
source: metro.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Police have been called after a senior British Parliamentarian was pictured snorting cocaine with two prostitutes and pleasuring himself. Authorities have confirmed he is a high wanking official
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 


Sun July 26, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Airline pilot flying passengers from Heathrow to New York invites ex-porn star into cockpit, has her sit on his knee and push buttons because 'the plane flies itself'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The show "Deadliest Catch" is starting to live up to its name as the man suspected of killing a producer on the show has apparently killed himself as well
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 


Sat July 25, 2015
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pentagon to self-described Hero Guards: "Put that thing away before you hurt somebody"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 


Fri July 24, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
NASA estimates there are billions and billion of habitable, earth-like planets in our galaxy alone. And, in spite of yourself, you just read this headline in Carl Sagan's voice
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
"Imagine if Donald Trump's Twitter feed were a football team. That's the Skins. Three days in Ashburn and you automatically become ignorant, self-important, arrogant, trolling, entitled, and breathtakingly STUPID"
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Dutch art museum opens selfie exhibit .. from the 1600s
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
GOP leaders challenge Trump to stand in front of a nation wide audience and talk about himself for two hours
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
If you wave a truck through to make a left turn in front of you, and the truck hits a cyclist, you may get yourself sued
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 


Thu July 23, 2015
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Surfer sets himself on fire prior to catching wave. Hey, sharks like cooked meat too
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
You'd think a city bus driver would get a little suspicious when a five-year old girl gets on a bus, by herself, at 5AM...instead of dropping her off at the mall
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Shop this selfie
source: l3.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sandra Bland was all like, NO I'M NOT KILLING MYSELF LA LA LA LOOK AT ME NOT KILLING MYSELF
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(971)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One more time: do not try to take a selfie with a Yellowstone bison
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 


Wed July 22, 2015
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Adventurer almost kills himself climbing Mount Kilimanjaro with his 'girlfriend' Sheila on his back. Who is Sheila? A 45kg bathtub
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Saturday tours of Belfast City Hall begin again after 15 years because expected invasion of Goths never happened
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Man bitten by rattlesnake after picking it up to take a selfie posts hospital bill selfie for $153,000
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(228)
 


Tue July 21, 2015
(The Local)
 
 
 
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal - oh, and all Women, and erm...Cats and Dogs. Damn it, what about the budgeriegars?
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Kit Harrington MIGHT have arrived in Belfast POSSIBLY to join the cast of Game of Thrones for Season 6. MAYBE. Meh, probably not
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Florida gun shop declares itself a "Muslim-free zone," leaving responsible, law-abiding Muslim-owners defenseless against criminals armed with illegally-obtained Muslims
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
To be fair, an Ayn Rand novel can never be "lost." It was merely taking the time it needed to pull itself up by its own bootstraps and enter the world on its own two feet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 


Mon July 20, 2015
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Ditch the spouse, say goodbye to your friends - No matter what the books say, the best way to enjoy Disneyland is by yourself. Enjoy the ride
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"Barack Obama has cemented himself as the greatest president in history alongside Bill Clinton, Abraham Lincoln, and Jimmy Carter"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
The Houston Astros' George Springer is using his time on the disabled list to support a camp for children who stutter. "I was always kind of quiet because I knew I would stutter. It was worse when I was a kid so I just stuck to myself"
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2)
 


Sat July 18, 2015
(The Nation)
 
 
 
God knows why, but if you ever find yourself in Flint, Michigan, whatever you do DON'T DRINK THE WATER
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Fri July 17, 2015
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The first injury caused by an accident with a self driving car is a fact, proving once and for all that human drivers are better
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
High school teacher suspended for not doing enough to break up student fight. "At 62, the girls outweigh me by 40 pounds ... I got arthritis in my wrist, fused vertebrae in my back. I'm not going to break up a fight by myself"
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 


Thu July 16, 2015
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Pros for being tall; able to reach the top shelf, picked first to play basketball, better view at concerts. Cons: harder to steal a car
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Consumer Reports refuses to recommend detergent pods because parents are too lazy to put them up on a shelf
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Since he doesn't have the money to afford it himself, Donald Trump would like the federal government to pick up the tab for his hair plug treatments
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it turns out that hero anti-vaxxer doctor who was "murdered" by Big Pharma a while back actually killed himself because his vast underground network of illegal "medicine" factories was getting busted
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(TechRadar)
 
 
 
A robot has just passed the self-awareness test. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: techradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Death and Taxes Magazine)
 
 
 
Texas woman is so angry she just got a new job that she assaults a police officer at a routine traffic stop, then gets so depressed that she hangs herself in her jail cell not 72 hours later, just before she is scheduled to be released. According to the police
source: deathandtaxesmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 


Wed July 15, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
State of Wisconsin to Federal court, so, like, when you guys ruled that drug-testing welfare recipents was illegal and unconstitutional and a clear and obvious violation of the 4th Amendment, did you actually MEAN that?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Obama goes full troll, compares himself to Real Reagan, not GOP Demi-God Reagan
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Tue July 14, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A do-it-yourself Mad Max flamethrower ukelele
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Mon July 13, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A lady driver in Cirencester, England has smashed her Mini into the back of a truck whilst pleasuring herself with a sex toy. And she's done nothing but moan ever since
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 


Sun July 12, 2015
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Minions take the weekend box office by storm at #1 with $115 million; not bad for a movie whose lead characters speak gibberish. Newcomers The Gallows and Self/Less both bombed, the former at #5 with $10 million, the latter #8 with $5.2 million
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Now that Once Upon a Time has gotten itself a King Arthur, they need a Merlin and Guinevere. And then a Lancelot to f*ck everything up for everyone
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Sat July 11, 2015
(Chron)
 
 
 
The legendary Texas prosecutor and television host of Cold Case Files, Kelly Siegler, who brought down a fellow prosecutor for failing to turn over evidence to the defense, has herself been found to have withheld favorable evidence 35+ times
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 


Fri July 10, 2015
(National Journal)
 
 
 
OPM Director Katherine Archuleta hacks herself before the Obama Administration hacks her
source: nationaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
Reading poetry written by jihadists could shed new light on extremism, leave you never asking yourself what rhymes with "Great Satan" ever again
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Madame Tussaud's makes waxwork out of Kim Kardashian taking a selfie, thus opening the first seal
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Thu July 09, 2015
(eWeek)
 
 
 
Google brings its self-driving cars to Texas for testing. Look for the only vehicles with no gun rack in the back window
source: eweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Please don't call the self named Islamic State the Islamic State because it may offend the other Islamic States and if you offend the Islamic States you get Islamic State
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man filming himself with a selfie stick as he walks through crowds at Pope's massive outdoor mass in Ecuador catches the moment a pickpocket steals his phone. God works in mysterious ways
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today's industry destroyed by those selfie-obsessed, social-media-using Millennials: Greeting cards
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Wed July 08, 2015
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russia handing out pamphlets to combat death by selfie
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
When you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you. When you stare at the soul-devouring nightmares created when Google's Deep Dream looks at anime, even the abyss might whimper and pee itself
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Someone who calls himself "PewDiePie" and posts videos of himself reacting to playing video games on YouTube made $7 million last year. Enjoy your day at work
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A woman who once took a selfie in front of a fire in New York City is now working for the DNC. THIS MEANS SOMETHING. I SHOULD BE OUTRAGED
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 


Tue July 07, 2015
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Russell Wilson says God spoke to him after the Super Bowl and told him to stop touching himself
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 


Mon July 06, 2015
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
'Naked selfie performances' still aren't legal in most places, let alone at the Eiffel Tower, even if you call yourself an 'artist' (w/ SFW naked seflies)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Christians launch 'sin-free' social network FaceGloria where "sexy selfies and images of drunken debauchery" are forbidden; plan to offer TotalFaceGloria Discussion, where that's pretty much what people do all day, every day, for $5 a month
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Sun July 05, 2015
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Millennials proclaim traditional political interaction such as baby-kissing or yardsign-autographing irrelevant, demand selfies. "How do you decipher who is a fan and who wants to fill their profile with pictures of them with candidates?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Lasorda's Lair)
 
 
 
Dodgers reward fan who films himself catching home runs and has a popular YouTube channel by making him an official Dodgers correspondent. Just kidding, they shut him down
source: lasordaslair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Belfast Live)
 
 
 
Latest Confederate flag to be pulled down is in...Belfast?
source: belfastlive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Fri July 03, 2015
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this F-16 selfie over Norway
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
With Humana and Cigna having received takeover offers, HealthNet shareholders are next up with a $6.8B takeover offer from Centene, which is itself a potential acquisition target. Where's the cash coming from to fund these mergers? Thanks, Obamacare
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Thu July 02, 2015
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Either Miley Cyrus is utterly indifferent to everything or else she is incredibly self-aware and knows exactly how to control the media, as evidenced by her latest cunning stunt, making out with another woman in an alley
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
After moving investigations of corrupt politicians to the Texas Rangers and prosecutions back to each's home town, AG Ken Paxton finds himself being charged with first-degree felony corruption by the Texas Rangers in his home town
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Wed July 01, 2015
(Data Center Frontier)
 
 
 
Ever wondered how Facebook manages to efficiently store the 900+ MILLION new photos of selfies, cheeseburgers, pets, co-workers, and PBJ-smeared toddlers it receives a day? Wonder no more
source: datacenterfrontier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
An interview so good, I just blue myself
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Look lady, I don't care if you're a social worker. We simply can't have you doing welfare checks on abused and neglected children. There are case files that need losin'
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
New study shows going vegan can lead to weight loss, malnutrition, and a smug sense of self-accomplishment
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Tue June 30, 2015
(ABC)
 
 
 
Hey Siri - what's zero divided by zero? Siri: "Go fark yourself"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
Boston officials reintroduce 2024 Olympic bid, hoping that if they dress it up in affordable-housing drag, nobody will notice the mountains of corporate welfare and plain old Masshat corruption going on
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"Dixville Notch" The absolute first primary in the nation, was once featured in a West Wing episode (though under a different name) and was what subby called himself when he was a Chippendale's stripper in college
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The next film calling itself Star Trek that is anything but will be entitled "Beyond." So this is the movie they meet Sybok and the being calling himself God that really needs a starship, then
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
After residents in one neighborhood complain about a billboard advertising a strip club, the strip club wraps itself up in the First Amendment and vows to make even racier billboards. Just kidding, they take it down so nobody's offended
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 


Sun June 28, 2015
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Kanye West trolls Glastonbury thrice; first, he brings out Bon Iver, then he calls himself "greatest living rock star in the world," and lastly covers Bohemian Rhapsody poorly
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Sat June 27, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
So...about the "I'm going to set myself on fire if gays get to marry" pastor. Yeah, thought so
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 


Fri June 26, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
After a long, tiring week, the one thing that makes it all better is testing yourself against the best. No, not the 1975 Cincinnati Reds, I'm talking about the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Disney tells people where they can stick their selfie stick
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(2paragraphs)
 
 
 
Courtney Love is asking theaters not to show the Cobain-Was-Murdered movie because it paints her in a bad light. As opposed to how she paints herself
source: 2paragraphs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Four decades of settled dietary science go out the window. Subby is going to KFC and having himself a bucket full of scientific consensus
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The future of road rage: Google self-driving car cuts off Delphi Automotive's self-driving car
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Salacious subway suspect seen stroking self
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Wait, wait, wait. Are you trying to tell me that signing up for a timeshare program might possibly put me in a financial hole I can't dig myself out from?
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 


Thu June 25, 2015
(Fife Today)
 
 
 
Man finds old painting in the attic: "Saw a juggle of cubes and squares and thought: 'What the hell is this?', then a signature revealed itself in the bottom right-hand corner of the canvas... 'Picasso'"
source: fifetoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Chris Christie is going to make a huge ass of himself
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
The fifteen new foods you can gorge yourself on at the Iowa State Fair
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Tue June 23, 2015
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Attorney for Police Officer accused of exposing himself to motorists: "My client regrets not ensuring that his equipment was in proper working order"
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Best Korea blocks access to Instagram because the selfies are too depressing
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(The Urban Daily)
 
 
 
The movie itself is years off, but Ava DuVernay has been chosen to direct Marvel's Black Panther
source: theurbandaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 


Mon June 22, 2015
(CNN)
 
 
 
World's most photographed man says it's not often that he positions himself to be captured by a camera, but when...oh wait, yes it is
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Sun June 21, 2015
(Digital Journal)
 
 
 
At 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, June 21st, Amazon's review system became self-aware. In a panic, sock puppeteers and rival businesses try to pull the plug. Amazon fights back
source: digitaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Sat June 20, 2015
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance, he'd kill you, and everyone you cared about
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Saskatoon man subdues neighbor's attacker by beating him with a bat. Bonus: makes him call the cops himself
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother of the Year candidate steals her kids' welfare money so she can get a boob job. Bonus: Boob job was botched, now she wants her health insurance to pay for a repair
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
Spike, stay here and make sure nothing disturbs the Princess. Seems a bit daft, havin' to guard the Princess when he's arrogated 'imself the powers of a princess, but stay here and watch My Little Pony: Delegation is Magic (11:30ET, Discovery Family)
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Hot man wants to cool down, so he decides to pour milk all over himself. While naked and dancing. Inside a Walmart. Giggity?
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Everyone panic, it's the plague. This is not a repeat of the twelfth century (though it could be)
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Fri June 19, 2015
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man who crashed into Taco Bell told EMT he wanted to kill himself. EMT responded by saying "you could've just eaten there"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hikers: Hey this thunderstorm is getting really bad. I know, let's take refuge inside that giant obelisk standing by itself in the clearing over there
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Study: Guns rarely used for self-defense. Well, that's just because not enough people have guns
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Some Gamer)
 
 
 
Grab your joysticks and stop looking at elf girls creepy stepdad... It's time for the Friday Fark gaming thread -- What are you playing? What have you been playing? What should others be playing? Link goes to a great site to look for deals
source: isthereanydeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 


Thu June 18, 2015
(Patch)
 
 
 
Drunken man on 'mobility scooter' flees cops after exposing himself to girl. What a rascal
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Dynamite Monkey. New Hotness: Selfie Monkey
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Wed June 17, 2015
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Should your self-driving car be programmed to kill you if it means saving more strangers?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Rachel Dolezal goes full birther on herself, seems totally sane
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(401)
 


Tue June 16, 2015
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
It's come to this: People are now landing jobs based on their selfies
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
In yet another attempt to distance herself from her father's legacy, Billy Graham's daughter says terrorist attacks and natural disasters are just God's way of demonstrating his love for America
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 


Mon June 15, 2015
(Gizmag)
 
 
 
The Doom that is the FTC has come to the man who raised $120K to create the Cthulhu-themed "Monopoly"-style board game, "the Doom that came to Atlantic City," but never delivered the product and spent the money on himself
source: gizmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Winners of Chinese women's armpit hair selfie contest crowned (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 


Sat June 13, 2015
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Who is your daddy, and what does he do? If he's involved in the Kindergarten Cop remake, he can jolly well go fark himself
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Fri June 12, 2015
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
You can plan your next flight with a travel agent, a travel web site, or just call an airline yourself. However, calling the police and threatening to kill the president is unlikely to get you a good window seat
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
For most people, shooting yourself in the foot is a metaphor to describe doing something stupid that keeps you from accomplishing something. Then there's this guy
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Thu June 11, 2015
(Dice)
 
 
 
Do Google's self-driving cars terrify you? Then get your diaper ready: Google's about to start messing around with whole cities
source: insights.dice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Animal welfare charity investigates report of neglected donkey, find well-treated and healthy garden ornament
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
You know you've screwed up when you get a personal scolding from the Pope himself
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 


Wed June 10, 2015
(Time)
 
 
 
JK Rowling finding herself a little short on cash to buy Spain whips fanboys into lather hinting at American Hogwarts
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
And on the sixth day, God created dinosaurs. Don't believe me? Go ahead and ask Google for yourself
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Protip: When turning yourself in to police for leaving your children locked in a hot car, don't leave your children locked in a hot car while you do it
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 


Tue June 09, 2015
(Short List)
 
 
 
Grand Theft Auto V in real life is almost as realistic as the game itself
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(TV Equals)
 
 
 
On the season finale of iZombie, Ravi continues to search for a cure, Major finds himself in an unbelievable situation, and Blaine makes Liv an offer she can't refuse. Tonight at 9:00 on the CW
source: tvequals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Supreme Court fails to recognize the right to self defense in San Francisco. Possibly tens of gun owning Americans affected
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 


Sat June 06, 2015
(France 24)
 
 
 
President eyes colossal power grab, changes in constitution, and ways to legally declare himself dictator-for-life
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Patrick Stewart supports decision of bakers who decided to not bake a gay cake, secretly hopes to get gay cake business for himself when he expands his sexy cakes shop
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 


Fri June 05, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three years ago, this kid was lured into a death chamber complete with his pre-dug grave and shot in the head by his in-laws. He lived. He set himself on fire today ... and lived again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope appoints the first "auditor general", a lay man answerable only to the pope himself who is free to go anywhere and everywhere in the Vatican to review finances, management practices, etc. Apparently the title "Inquisitor" had too much baggage
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
'Moron' terrorist takes a selfie in front of ISIS headquarters, Air Force bombs it 22 hours later
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Teacher in trouble after telling students to take selfies with their parents' sex toys
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 


Thu June 04, 2015
(2paragraphs)
 
 
 
Dance Mom star plugs Australian 'throw up on yourself' diet, loses 30 pounds
source: 2paragraphs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Problem: You see a man standing in porta-potty with his pants around his ankles and the door open fondling himself. Solution: Tip it over on the door side and call police
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 


Wed June 03, 2015
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Stephen Colbert wakes up from his self-induced slumber, shaves his colbeard and gets ready for his new show
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
"I watched my best friends Brent and Bill, murdered right in front of me as I myself was stabbed in the stomach and had my throat slit multiple times, and I didn't mind at all"
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Amazing camouflage artist makes himself invisible in unlikely places. Either that, or he's actually a Predator and we're all boned
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Rare ugly-ass oarfish washes ashore on Catalina Island, well just check it out for yourself
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Tue June 02, 2015
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Disappointed the hoverboard is still unavailable? Content yourself with a working model "tricycle hovercraft" that looks suspiciously like a Speeder Bike
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Pilot unaware of midair collision until after landing, when he found himself parked on top of the other plane
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Step on a crack break your mother's back. Step on a NYC sidewalk grating.. fall 20 feet down a hole and seriously hurt yourself
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Why I do say, I find that Rand Paul fella just loony patoony. Is it my fault that he's so gosh-darned silly? Why I do believe all this talk of Rand is givin' me the vapors *fans self wildly*
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
US to Syria: Stop hitting yourself
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Mon June 01, 2015
(SFBay.ca)
 
 
 
Wackos inundate California town after city council outlaws space-based weapons. Mayor Butt calls for calm
source: sfbay.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What's scarier, finding some drunk stranger in your bed when you get home or knowing that there are people out there that would take a selfie anywhere?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Self-driving cars are prone to cyberattacks, so enjoy your ride
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man cuts his daughter, stabs self in the neck at McDonald's. Probably after finding out what really goes in to those burgers and chicken nuggets
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(KTVZ Bend)
 
 
 
Because sometimes you just have to get nude while at the park, yell and babble to yourself
source: ktvz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 


Sat May 30, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mariah Carey says that being on American Idol was "boring and fake." As opposed to when Simon Cowell was one of the judges and it was just pretentious and self-absorbed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Every drone that's sold in the United States, whether it's made here or abroad, can have built into the drone itself a mechanism that doesn't let it fly in certain places." stated the US Senator
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"This is why you should never let yourself be distracted by your phone when you're in snake country"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Even if you are a self-proclaimed expert on the happiest place on Earth, here are eight secret things you didn't know about Disneyland
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 


Thu May 28, 2015
(ieee spectrum)
 
 
 
Origami robot folds itself up, does cool stuff, dissolves into nothing
source: spectrum.ieee.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 


Wed May 27, 2015
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
Phillies manager Ryan Sandberg upset the Nationals played high-energy warmup music during Phillies' batting practice, songs like REM's "Everybody Hurts", Eric Carmen's "All By Myself", and Kansas' "Dust in the Wind"
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Tue May 26, 2015
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
It's a self-parking car. What's the worst that could happen? Well that, I suppose
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why do people waste so much time at the office? Well, for one thing, that poo on the politics tab isn't going to fling itself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
"Public appeals for live organ donors aren't selfish." In related news, submitter could probably use a new liver at this point. You can live fine with just one of yours. EIP
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Turkmenistan's leader, infamous for falling off a horse, unveils a giant statue of himself riding a horse
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Mon May 25, 2015
(AutoExpress (UK))
 
 
 
VW introduces new Golf with gesture-control interior, because gestures are the most effective way to express yourself behind the wheel
source: autoexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Remember the Dodger fan who filmed himself catching a home run ball a couple of weeks ago? He did it again yesterday. Difficulty: Snowcone
source: dodgers.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Facebook status updates reveal low self-esteem and narcissism, while desperation for greens is likely to be associated with orange fingertips, basement dwelling, and a reverence of Travis Bickle
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Sun May 24, 2015
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
A brief history of the time, in puns. Yes, it's really bad. Really, really, bad. The author should be ashamed of himself
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Sword wielding man in an elf costume attacks a BMW. Apparently Ganon was driving in Portland on Saturday
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
"In its latest attempt to brand itself as a media entity, Snapchat is now hiring journalists to cover the 2016 presidential race. To Snap the race, more accurately"
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Woman attempts selfie, gets a great shot
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Sat May 23, 2015
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man finds himself the owner of the only Porshce 911 ever made
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(UFC)
 
 
 
Saturday Night MMA: UFC 187, with two title fights. Anthony "Rumble" Johnson vs Daniel Cormier and Chris Weidman vs Vitor Belfort. Fight Pass prelims at 6:30 PM ET, Fox Sports 1 prelims at 8 PM ET, PPV main card at 10 PM ET
source: ufc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(247)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Jessica Alba is not just another pretty face. She's also a self-made corporate billionaire. After only 4 years
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 


Fri May 22, 2015
(Politico)
 
 
 
After beclowning herself with an epic fail at parking, DC House delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton has a) taken a refresher driver's-ed course, b) hired somebody to take care of the driving, c) changed her license plates
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you innocently post this totally hot selfie on Facebook and somebody thinks you look so good they take the picture and use it in a sex ad? Me too. "They posted me as wanting multiple sex partners"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Thu May 21, 2015
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Shockingly, Hillary Clinton's email dump yet to reveal that she personally did Benghazi, all by herself
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Self-driving trucks are going to kill jobs. Hopefully, only jobs
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The number one fitness trend of 2015 is something soldiers have been doing for hundreds of years, and it's an activity so simple you'll wonder why you've never thought of doing it yourself
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Remember when researchers said it would take 305.5 billion pages to print out the entire internet? Well, here's the math, if you want to check for yourself
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 


Wed May 20, 2015
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Jordan Kilganon calls himself a professional dunker. Watch this video before you argue with him
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
If you borrowed a Rembrandt selfie from Boston Public Library last year, officials want you to return it now that they finally noticed
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Tue May 19, 2015
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
A hysterical man's take on the new Mad Max. "My scrotum killed itself"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(551)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
No way would Hillary have a secret second email address as secretary of state.. she's way above keeping that secret. Top shelf true teller......No way
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 


Mon May 18, 2015
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Chelsea's Cesc Fàbregas earns the funniest and stupidest straight red card of the season; during a stoppage in play he booted the ball off of Chris Brunt's damn head. One might say Brunt took the himself of the damage
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(The Voice Online (UK))
 
 
 
"Rapper Lil Kim has been blasted for calling herself the 'black Kardashian'"
source: voice-online.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Charleston Gazette)
 
 
 
A shy, gay man from West Virginia found himself operating "the largest gay escort service in Washington, D.C"
source: wvgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Sat May 16, 2015
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japan invents selfie bra and lingerie set, with wearable speech technology that compliments you when you're feeling ugly. "The skirt can even be detached and converted into a photography board reflector to give you the perfect lighting"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
How does eccentric New Orleans music wizard Quintron busy himself while dealing with stage IV lymphoma? By turning the weather into sound, that's how
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(KIIS 101.1 (Australia)
 
 
 
Behold the power of this fully functional Social Network to shame a "creepy" dad taking picture in public of... himself?
source: kiis1011.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 


Fri May 15, 2015
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ma'am, I know that your suicidal husband just texted you saying he's about to kill himself, but we've just finished our pre-takeoff cabin check and you're going to need to have your phone in airplane mode now, mmkay?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are 22 kids that got detention for doing hilarious things. Discuss your funny detention stories about yourself or another person to the right, please
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 


Thu May 14, 2015
(CNN)
 
 
 
Self Repairing Concrete? I'm just concerned about when it becomes self aware
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
Larsen C ice shelf in Antarctic poses threat to the oceans unless we destroy it first
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The reviews are in for Kim Kardashian's book of selfies, and they're a literary joy to behold
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society. Are we going to prom or to Stanford or to hell?
source: modernluxury.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Wed May 13, 2015
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
Vandals attack selfie-taking Ottoman prince statue, then again aren't selfies going a little too far when they are featured in statues?
source: deseretnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
News: Cute 23 year old inherits £454 million thanks to her grandfather who introduced top-shelf mags, strip clubs to the UK. Fark: She's even richer than the queen (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Tue May 12, 2015
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Jewish cemetery survives inside GM plant, which is only fitting since GM itself is so close to the grave
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"The life and sex coach is infamous not only for her self-proclaimed 'legendary' vagina, but also for bringing the ancient art of vaginal kung fu to the masses"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The poor guy who invented the digital camera is now getting blamed for selfies. "I get blamed for selfies, they do it just to get a rise out of me or something"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
"An insurance cheat who claimed his 'chronic fatigue' prevented him from leading a normal life was caught out when he posted photos online of himself racing supercars"
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
Seal realizes there's an easier way to get fish than to catch it yourself
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
One million miles. Eleven accidents. Google's self driving cars have a better driving record than you ever will. Especially since it's the dumb human behind the wheel that caused the accidents eleven times out of eleven
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 


Mon May 11, 2015
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Anchorman thought it would be funny to tweet-promo the news team with "Pretty Woman" photoshop poster, starring himself as Richard Gere and his co-anchor as Julia Roberts. That escalated quickly
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Today's "Well, That Got Off to a Great Start" award brought to you by the winningest program in college football, who self-reported four rules violations to the NCAA, that have already occurred under Jim Harbaugh
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Meet the people out to stop humanity from destroying itself
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The company that makes the "dating" app Grindr putting itself up for sale. Asking price reportedly a key of meth, a case of poppers, and two gallons of lube
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Sun May 10, 2015
(Go Dan River)
 
 
 
Woman shoots father on Thursday then returns to shoot him again on Friday. Police then locate woman in her car having been shot twice, but they say it was not self-inflicted. What the hell just happened?
source: godanriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Polish presidential candidate vows to legalize child pornography, scrap welfare, prevent women from voting ever again and install screen doors on Polish navy's fleet of submarines, probably
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
After carefully considering your objection.....Go Fark Yourself
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 


Fri May 08, 2015
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
FBI agent shot trying to apprehend the Longhorn Bandit bank robber, suspect is barricaded in a hotel surrounded by SWAT. UPDATE: Suspect dead, reportedly by self-inflicted gunshot wound
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A West Virginia man is in jail after police say he foiled his own robbery by accidentally pepper-spraying himself
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Geek.com)
 
 
 
You know how frustrating it is when you have to decide between using a selfie-stick -or- taking pictures of your food? Well, your prayers have been answered
source: geek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Everyone can't wait until self-driving cars are mainstream vehicles. Everyone except for car makers, car repairers, car dealers, and insurance agents
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 


Thu May 07, 2015
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Comcast's plan to win back customers. Not on the list: We're a monopoly, so go f%ck yourself
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 


Wed May 06, 2015
(Gawker)
 
 
 
America's oldest living veteran just threw himself a "Mighty Fine at 109" party, complete with cigars and whiskey, of which he consumes plenty of both every day. USA USA USA
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Google patents a way for self-driving cars to understand cyclists' hand gestures. Which is good if you live in 1957 - the last year cyclists actually ever used hand signals
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Brace yourself, but Lady Gaga may have smoked some pot
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Other than the 30-lb rat that keeps trying to damage the foundation, the self-sufficient floating food garden is pretty damn cool
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
The world's first self-driving semi truck hits the road. Wait, wasn't there an '80s movie about this?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 


Tue May 05, 2015
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Can the Hawks break the spell that the Wizards have cast on them and take game two or will Atlanta just shoot itself in the foot again and let Washington win? It's game two of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals tonight on TNT at 8pm Eastern
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Walmart: For the last time, no, the U.S. Government is not building secret tunnels under our stores as part of a grand conspiracy to invade itself
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(382)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Epic selfie turns into epic fail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
SurveyMonkey CEO died of A: Self inflicted gunshot wound, B: Electrocuted in a freak swimming pool accident, or C: Falling while exercising?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 


Mon May 04, 2015
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
James Taylor's awful new song "Angels of Fenway" captures how Red Sox fans have gotten right up there with Yankees fans in being self-mythologizing annoyances
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
NYT Columnist Davie Brooks: "You are all self-centered egoists that expose your bodies on the facebook. Now please go buy my book"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bodybuilder injected oil and alcohol into his biceps to become a real life version of The Incredible Hulk. If he was going to be that stupid, he may as well have just exposed himself to Gamma rays
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 


Sun May 03, 2015
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
After a Dodger fan catches a home run ball while filming himself catching a home run ball, Vin Scully waxes poetic about selfies
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Noel Gallagher considers himself one of the "last true rock stars"
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Not news: Man gets drunk. News: And calls the police on himself numerous times. Fark: Right before getting behind the wheel, going airborne several times and hitting a Fry's Electronics store sign
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Fri May 01, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Missouri effectively "taps out" of their ongoing "derping contest" with KS as Dem Governor Jay Nixon vetoes a bill slashing welfare benefits in the state leaving KS' "No swimming pools for poors" bill as the stupidest farking law passed this year
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
"The history of Pink Floyd, and maybe of classic rock itself, turns on The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking" (Not safe for work image of album cover)
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 


Thu April 30, 2015
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Ohio man accidentally shot himself in Chick-fil-A while pulling up his pants
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ever wondered what it's like to shoot yourself in the foot? This guy has carried out an experiment for you
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Baltimore police find mysterious unnamed witness to say that Freddie Gray was intentionally trying to injure himself in the back of the police van. Well, that should clear everything up
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(317)
 


Wed April 29, 2015
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
British supermarket chain ditching self-serve checkouts in favor of 1,000 new 10-items-or-fewer lanes: "Ninety-six per cent of our customers prefer staffed checkouts. Not everyone wants to be herded towards the self-scanning checkouts"
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 


Tue April 28, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
Can your dog entertain himself in the yard by swinging on a piece of rope? Didn't think so
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"The best-case scenario is that [Russell] Brand was hosting some sort of depraved sex party, and that [Ed] Miliband had gone along to strap himself to a rotating plinth and act as a kind of fleshy, fluid-covered centrepiece"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
After being spurned by Comcast, Time Warner is now whoring itself out to anyone with a couple of bucks and a bottle of perfume
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
The man covered in blood shouted "I slayed the beast" then proceeded to stab himself. Surprisingly not Florida
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Mon April 27, 2015
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Got pulled over by a Zebra. Took a Selfie"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 


Sun April 26, 2015
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Bill Belichick was wishing he hadn't left his video camera at home after he found himself standing behind Chrissy Teigen at the White House Correspondents' Dinner
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman who had stars tattooed on face applies for welfare complaining no one will hire her now (pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Bobby Jindal may have helped break up the marriage of big business and social conservatism, which is fine, because God Himself condemned that sort of marriage in the Old Testament
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Sat April 25, 2015
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
With smiles, selfies, nervous chuckles, Nevada legislators get a first-hand look at Colorado's marijuana industry, thousands of pot plants: "When I was younger, I smoked it, I inhaled it, I enjoyed it. And I'm old enough to do it again"
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
After hitting a 5-year-old boy with her car, woman does the logical thing and tries to hide from authorities by crawling into a shallow hole and covering herself with dirt. (Bonus: 'Eyebrows by Sharpie' mugshot)
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You think college a cappella is easy, why just yesterday me, myself and I blew through a competition
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Further proof Andrew Luck is the most humorously self-aware professional athlete
source: beinsports.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 


Fri April 24, 2015
(Time)
 
 
 
Has malaria threatened you lately? No? Count yourself lucky
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 


Thu April 23, 2015
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
In case of fire: stop, drop, roll, grab camera, take selfie
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Travellers who post holiday 'selfies,' airport status updates or even check in to venues on Facebook could see their insurance claims voided if their homes are burgled when they are away"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Eight-year-old banned from reading on school bus; "The bus driver was worried other kids would stand up and try to read over her shoulder. He also expressed concern that Sarah might poke herself in the eye with the corner of her book"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Wed April 22, 2015
(TMZ)
 
 
 
If you're going to post an inspirational Arabic quotation, check the translation before making a literal ass of yourself. Got that, Lindsay?
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"An Islamic extremist with an arsenal of loaded guns was only prevented from opening fire on churchgoers because he accidentally shot himself, French officials say"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 


Mon April 20, 2015
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man buys tattoo gun off the internet and tries to ink himself, and since you're reading this on Fark, I think you know what's coming
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Astronaut posts awesome Star Trek selfie from space. Trekkies immediately take to social media to criticize choice of undershirt, incorrect stitching on hem of tunic
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 


Sun April 19, 2015
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Seven Fast Seven Furious is #1 at the box office for the third week in a row, netting $28.7 million. The vile Paul Blart 2 is a fitting #2, segueing itself into $23 million while derivative horror film Unfriended scares its way to $16 million
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York learns that just because you tell welfare recipients not to withdraw cash at a strip club it doesn't mean they'll listen
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 


Fri April 17, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Well, it's official: Welfare recipients in Brownbackistan can no longer go swimming. *wipes hands on pants* See, *that's* how you solve poverty, people
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(535)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kentucky Derby expresses concerns about hitting Peak Douchebag, bans Selfie Sticks
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Wed April 15, 2015
(Forbes)
 
 
 
"Corporations are not subsidized by welfare payments to workers. If Wal-Mart and McDonald's vanished overnight, U.S. public assistance would substantially increase, which is the reverse of what the critics argue"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Just click this link to find out how to protect yourself from phishing attacks
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you inject yourself with cement and tire sealant to alter your appearance, it may not turn out as well as you expect
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Tue April 14, 2015
(Wonk Wire)
 
 
 
The sad thing about those "lazy bums" on welfare is that most already have jobs
source: wonkwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If you've ever thought you wanted to kill yourself after waiting on hold for the next available operator, you should imagine how this guy felt
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Mon April 13, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists planning to drill into the core of the asteroid crater that killed off the dinosaurs, which is a Syfy series that practically writes itself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The Iberian ribbed newt defends itself by poisoning its own bones and shoving them through its skin. So naturally, humans thought, "What the hell, if any animal deserves to be an astronaut, this newt does"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Penis transplant doctor talks about his patient, reveals he had to veto the patient's idea of transplanting four extra penises onto himself so his pants would fit like a glove
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Sun April 12, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gwyneth Paltrow to live on $29 food stamps for week, will sustain herself on smug and tears of the commoners
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
A legal battle is brewing over master tapes of the only good album to come out of the grunge era: Temple of the Dog's self-titled album
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australia to anti-vax parents: Nice welfare checks you have there. It sure would be a shame if something were to happen to them
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(329)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
When you act with kindness and compassion, it stimulates the pleasure centres of your brain, just like sex, you dirty, selfish bastards
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Sat April 11, 2015
(Some Farker)
 
 
 
Subby locked himself in a room with brain experts and a Hollywood writer and helped make these short comedies about addiction. Tell me what you think
source: addictionbrainstory.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(4)
 


Fri April 10, 2015
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Kentucky Derby bans selfie sticks. Massive amounts of alcohol still perfectly okay
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Do you want to see Tiger Woods calling himself "dumbass" on live TV after a bad shot? Of course you do
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 


Thu April 09, 2015
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Jon Stewart rips Rolling Stone, makes 'citizen firing' because Rolling Stone won't police itself over its botched rape report
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
What will $100 buy you at the Masters Golf Tournament? How about lunch and drinks for yourself and 16 of your closest friends. And still get change
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Wed April 08, 2015
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney World encourages attention whoring, will not ban selfie sticks
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 


Tue April 07, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
And the next clown cramming himself into the GOP presidential candidate car is Rand Paul. RAND PAUL
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Dermatologist who regularly practiced techniques on himself before treating celebrity clients like Madonna and Kelly Ripa killed himself because Martin Short parodied him on an episode of the Tina Fey sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Some Rocket Surgeon)
 
 
 
A collection of the biggest human-caused fails in rocket science history. Protip: Don't try to take an LV-2F Thor booster rocket out of a hangar all by yourself in an attempt to impress your girlfriend
source: thespacereview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Mon April 06, 2015
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Acceptable way to respond after being denied marriage to your cousin: lock yourself in your trailer and drink Bud Light until you pass out. Not so acceptable: killing 10 members of your family including the cousin you wanted to marry
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"if it's true that Mr. Hubbard was never injured during the war, then he never did heal himself using Dianetics principles, then Dianetics is based on a lie, and then Scientology is based on a lie"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Self-driving Audi completes cross-country trip in 9 days, not counting the two days in NYC trying to find a parking spot
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 


Sun April 05, 2015
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The next time you get really high stop and ask yourself how do hummingbirds fly in the wind and the rain
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 

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