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Headlines matching 'earl'
Sun May 27, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(WAMU) Strange Maine soft-shell lobsters are in early this year. Marine biologists require more clarified butter to determine why  (wamu.org) (75)
(TMZ) Dumbass Amanda Bynes pulls a third DUI and hit-and-run, with the suspect identifying her from a mugshot taken four days earlier for the same crime  (tmz.com) (126)


Sat May 26, 2012
(WorldNetDaily) Fail Joe Arpaio's "posse": "Hawaii duped Arizona into putting Obama on the ballot and convincing them he was really born there." Because clearly duping Arizona is difficult  (wnd.com) (309)
(YouTube) Spiffy Early baseball entry for Play of the Year  (youtube.com) (44)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Daily Mail) Cool Never seen early photos of the American West, AKA, at time when Americans had spirit, guts and balls  (dailymail.co.uk) (229)


Thu May 24, 2012
(WRCB-TV) Obvious Romney campaign outlines his plan for "Day 1". 10am: Watch politely as Obama is sworn in for second term. Noon: Order early bird special at Denny's. 3pm: Watch the Ellen Show  (wrcbtv.com) (54)


Wed May 23, 2012
(NewsBusters) Dumbass CNN: Obama only lost Arkansas and Kentucky because they aren't and never have been Democrat strongholds even though nearly every election since 1900 they went Democrat including 1996 and Obama beat Hillary there in 2008  (newsbusters.org) (120)


Tue May 22, 2012
(610 WIOD) Interesting Nearly 1 in 4 teens have diabetes, awesome lunches  (610wiod.com) (95)
(UPI) Interesting Ancient 'cursing stone' found in Scotland associated with early Christianity and golf  (upi.com) (15)


Mon May 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Hero 15 year old wins prize for inventing cheap urine test that identifies early stage pancreatic cancer with 90% accuracy  (societyforscience.org) (127)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sacha Baron Cohen nearly killed by a group of rock-wielding "Hasidic nutcases" in Israel. At least they didn't throw him down a well  (ottawacitizen.com) (158)


Sat May 19, 2012
(Daily Mail) Scary Plane nearly collides with Denver street light. With helpful news graphic of flying question mark  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)


Fri May 18, 2012
(Some Guy) Video Chuck Brown and Donna Summer - all the eulogy quotes, nearly all the iconic tunes  (racialicious.com) (8)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) PSA If you're traveling in Northwest Iowa today, be advised that a massive buffalo breakout happened earlier today and now more than 200 buffalo are roaming around five separate counties  (press-citizen.com) (61)


Wed May 16, 2012
(Washington Post) Sad "The Godfather of Go-Go" busts the pearly gates loose  (washingtonpost.com) (47)
(ABC) Weird Man's condition downgraded from Nearly Drowned to Totally Drowned  (abcnews.go.com) (17)


Tue May 15, 2012
(JSOnline) Spiffy Goodwill gets a new CEO. Early reports suggest she was lured in by an extremely generous used sweater and broken TV compensation package  (jsonline.com) (28)
(Huffington Post) Sick From the Romero Institute, report finds that for-profit hospitals are pushing patients out too early. Chain restaurants nod in approval. Sick Tag is for how you left the hospital  (huffingtonpost.com) (63)
(Some Guy) Unlikely With Facebook net revenue topping $4 billion a year, clearly the worth company is worth over $100 billion total  (slashgear.com) (31)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Examiner) Stupid Not News: An illegal alien with $14K in income paid no taxes. News: He received a refund of $10K from the IRS. Fark: Nearly three quarters of tax returns filed by illegal aliens received such tax credits. Taxpayer Cost: $Billions  (examiner.com) (281)


Sun May 13, 2012
(Major League Baseball) Cool After 9 years and nearly 900 games in the minors, Milwaukee's Edwin Maysonet takes advantage of his first big-league start since 2009 in grand fashion  (mlb.mlb.com) (13)


Sat May 12, 2012
(BBC) Cool Two hundred and fifty years ago the Earl of Sandwich stayed up all night playing cards and invented the sandwich so you can do the same  (bbc.co.uk) (134)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Clippers enforcer Reggie Evans got a technical foul last night for, he uh, see, by rule, when a player....You can't.... Uhhh... I mean, he clearly, uhh.... Well he, uhhh, he knows what he did. That's all that has to be said  (huffingtonpost.com) (45)


Fri May 11, 2012
(Huffington Post) Followup Clearly, the only way for Whitney Houston's family to come to terms with their grief is to star in a new reality show  (huffingtonpost.com) (26)
(Washington Post) PSA Redskins introducing 1937 throwback jerseys, with "a rich, darker color palate," a patch from the early years, and a helmet that has "a unique, leather-like finish." and pockets, it appears (pic)  (washingtonpost.com) (70)
(Courier Mail) Strange I'm no Biblical scholar, but I'm pretty sure Jesus never ripped off a chunk of someone's earlobe for not doing the dishes  (couriermail.com.au) (25)


Thu May 10, 2012
(New York Daily News) Scary Wallenda nearly slips off wire during Baltimore tightrope stunt. This is not a repeat from 1978  (nydailynews.com) (35)


Wed May 09, 2012
(WSBTV) Sick You are a convicted sex offender. Released early do you: A) Right the wrongs of the past, B) Start an awareness campaign against sex abuse, or C) fire up some porn on your laptop in a crowded McDonald's?  (wsbtv.com) (59)
(WRCB-TV) Followup Tennessee tow-truck maker finds out Scottish soccer fans aren't as welcoming as had been promised, changes mind about buying team. Glasgow Rangers fans rejoice with their nearly £200 million debt  (wrcbtv.com) (13)
(NBCNewYork) Fail 'Butt dials' account for nearly 40 percent of NYC 911 calls  (nbcnewyork.com) (45)
(USA Today) Interesting Obama knew "early" of John Edwards' affair, which naturally raises the question: Shouldn't Obama be on trial, too?  (content.usatoday.com) (54)


Tue May 08, 2012
(ESPN) Amusing Vikings release their highest scorer, because clearly there's something wrong with him if he's willing to be a part of such a spectacular failure  (espn.go.com) (75)


Sat May 05, 2012
(American Thinker) Fail "When individuality asserts itself, we find that household incomes are nearly always the product of factors other than inequality. Anyone who believes otherwise should spend time with someone in the lowest household income quintile"  (americanthinker.com) (153)


Fri May 04, 2012
(610 WIOD) Followup Hulk Hogan's son granted early release from steel cage  (610wiod.com) (28)
(Gawker) Scary "MySpace's sole purpose is to serve as an anthropological collection of the ways young people embarrassed themselves online in the early-to-mid-2000s"  (gawker.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Scary Yes you would, every one of them, even though the crazy clearly is strong and abundant  (ranker.com) (220)
(USA Today) Interesting New noninvasive paternity test can now identify the father of the baby as early as the eighth week--or in NBA terms, a quarter of the season  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (15)


Thu May 03, 2012
(New Musical Express) Weird Get your masks and orange jumpsuits: Slipknot to record new album in early 2013  (nme.com) (19)
(The Local (Sweden)) Unlikely Man caught smuggling 2,357 litres of beer into Sweden. Tells the court it's just his personal yearly supply. They let him off  (thelocal.se) (53)


Wed May 02, 2012
(NYPost) Sick Home health aide guilty of stealing nearly $800K from elderly woman. Thank you for being a fiend  (nypost.com) (70)
(ESPN) Cool Because it's never too early to argue that the Saints are too damn high, ESPN's post-draft power rankings  (espn.go.com) (234)


Sun April 29, 2012
(CNN) Scary Apparently, waving your arms in the direction of a guy who nearly runs you over is grounds for getting shot under the "Stand your ground" law in Arizona  (cnn.com) (751)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Tweet: "I still got a warrant in Pearland...Those pigs will never catch me!!!NEVER!" lands woman in the #  (wiod.com) (52)


Mon April 23, 2012
(AZCentral) Followup The Heart Attack Grill claims its second victim. Someone should open more of these, they are clearly helping chlorinate the gene pool  (azcentral.com) (83)
(YouTube) Video Amazing cover of 'Sultans of Swing' by teen with solo guitar and mega talent. Early contender for cover performance of the year  (youtube.com) (61)


Fri April 20, 2012
(ABC) Asinine Republicans, who are apparently REALLY slow readers have apparently just finished the early chapters of Obama's autobiography which was published 16 years ago  (abcnews.go.com) (208)


Thu April 19, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Having been shunned by nearly every free agent in the NFL, the Miami Dolphins sign an accountant to play tight end  (thepostgame.com) (35)
(MSNBC) Interesting How a book about fish nearly meant the world never got to read Issac Newton's "Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica"  (msnbc.msn.com) (21)
(Denver Channel) Sad Hello, homeowner? Good news We finished a half hour early, the laundry is done, the kitchen is clean, your dead dog is under the dining room table and we need more Lemon Pledge. What was that? I said we need more Lemon Pledge  (thedenverchannel.com) (94)
(Some Guy) Obvious "A Korean fishing boat sank in New Zealand waters nearly two years ago because it was not watertight, an expert witness testified." What would we do without experts?  (tvnz.co.nz) (28)
(Fark) Spiffy I am in the office WAY early, no one else is here. I am actually getting work done. Amazing  (fark.com) (121)
(Onion AV Club) Cool Clearly, the time is right for a new Maniac Cop movie  (avclub.com) (17)


Tue April 17, 2012
(BBC) Interesting Researchers find evidence that "helicopter parenting" pre-dates the invention of the actual helicopter by nearly 2,000 years  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(CNBC) Obvious Siemens result comes early, gives up and goes to sleep  (cnbc.com) (5)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Huffington Post) Asinine Tea Party speaker: "We will not be silenced by f*ggots." Clearly this is a tea-party colloquialism that somehow relates to economic issues. Perhaps he meant "Keynesian acolytes"  (huffingtonpost.com) (503)


Sat April 14, 2012
(AP) Spiffy Harlistas: Cuban Harley fanatics hold first nationwide rally, nearly all of the Harleys on Cuban roads today were built before 1960  (hosted.ap.org) (90)


Fri April 13, 2012
(jmonty) Photoshop Subby was a guitarist in a metal band in the early 90's called Lovecraft Symphony. Go back in time and Photoshop us so that we would have made it big (Subby 2nd from right). No holds barred  (i415.photobucket.com) (51)
(Slate) Survey What is your earliest memory? How old were you? (link goes to related story)  (slate.com) (473)


Thu April 12, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious On the first day of the 2012 election, Obama outmaneuvered Romney, which isn't nearly as difficult as it sounds  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (206)
(io9) Strange Indian politicians offer $2,000--nearly half a year's wages--as bounty for any slain vampires people bring in. In other news, a whole lot of people are about to be murdered in India  (io9.com) (108)


Wed April 11, 2012
(MLive.com) Scary In terrible news for the rest of the American League, after signing Prince Fielder under the assumption that they'd lost Victor Martinez for the season, doctors now saying Martinez could return as early as August  (mlive.com) (77)


Sun April 08, 2012
(Business Insider) Interesting 40 years after Japanese cars took over the American market, Japan itself is still behind a nearly impenetrable trade barrier  (businessinsider.com) (42)


Sat April 07, 2012
(io9) Sad Las Vegas nearly had a life-sized Starship Enterprise. It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in despair and were suddenly silenced  (io9.com) (106)
(Discovery) Amusing "Sex is very difficult in zero gravity, because you have no traction and you keep bumping against the walls", says female biologist who has clearly never had a night with subby  (news.discovery.com) (39)


Fri April 06, 2012
(Mercury News) Sad Thomas Kinkade gets to find out a little early how accurate all those paintings he did of Heaven were  (mercurynews.com) (407)
(Some Guy) Obvious CSI Waffle House: Deputies have arrested a female they say opened fire in the air at a Waffle House early this morning over a relationship status update on Facebook  (wrdw.com) (118)
(Some Guy) Cool NFL regular season schedule leaked a tad early  (lombardiave.com) (100)
(ESPN) Sad Bad: shooting a 75 in the first round of the Masters despite being the world's number-one golfer. Worse: nearly being disqualified because your faxed scorecard got smudged  (espn.go.com) (23)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Mental Floss) Cool Google is trying to turn us into half-man/half-computer super machines that resemble an early-90s Arnold Schwarzenegger (video)  (mentalfloss.com) (80)
(Guardian) Fail Spain's economy craters after enacting most severe austerity in three decades. Clearly, more budget cuts will solve their problems  (guardian.co.uk) (207)
(Poynter) Hero Obama to reporters convention : That whole "presenting two sides of a story" is fine and well, but sometimes, one side is clearly wrong. So, stop treating it like it's valid  (poynter.org) (386)


Tue April 03, 2012
(Washington Post) Cool Mitt Romney is even closer to earning the GOP nomination and helping Obama get a second term after early polling indicates he'll win Wisconsin, D.C., and Maryland  (washingtonpost.com) (183)


Mon April 02, 2012
(NY Review of Books) Interesting A: He was a charming, immature, and fearless adventurer. Psychiatrists named a Syndrome for him about slackers like The Dude, but his pedophile creator named him for a god. He inspired Michael Jackson, and he's usually played by women  (nybooks.com) (62)


Sun April 01, 2012
(Time) Amusing She deprived her of dinner one night after learning that Bea had consumed "nearly 800 calories" of Brie, filet mignon, baguette and chocolate at a French Heritage Day event at school  (ideas.time.com) (178)
(MSNBC) Interesting Some fertility clinics now offer home sperm banking kits. Just be sure to clearly label things, because you'd hate to pick up the wrong jar thinking it was Miracle Whip and use it on your sandwich  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com) (24)


Sat March 31, 2012
(YouTube) Sick I'll see your James Justice dunk and raise you "Lester Earl in the 1996 McDonald's High School All-American Dunk Contest"  (youtube.com) (23)


Thu March 29, 2012
(AZCentral) Scary Chris Klein nearly died from alcoholism, scathing reviews for "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li"  (azcentral.com) (60)
(USA Today) Misc Jim Rome makes EPIC splash on eve of his EPIC new show debuting on CBS. *8 second pause* Classic. For who, for what? Nice. KB, those abs look yummy. War Boady in Pearland choking on his spit, unwar Lames. Out  (usatoday.com) (126)
(The New Yorker) Sad Article written back in January by Steve Martin about Earl Scruggs. Your dog wants a banjo  (newyorker.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Spiffy In honour of the late great Earl Scruggs, here's *every* banjo player at the 1971 Camp Springs Bluegrass Festival playing "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" while the Earl looks on  (blinkx.com) (24)
(MSNBC) Sick Last year, Bank of America's CEO made nearly 10x the national average salary - on just his corporate aircraft reimbursements  (msnbc.msn.com) (51)


Wed March 28, 2012
(CNBC) Unlikely Far from over, gold should rally to nearly $2,000  (cnbc.com) (21)
(Mental Floss) Amusing The 18 best excuses athletes have ever given to explain a positive drug test, including a vanishing twin that was absorbed in utero, thirty four years earlier  (mentalfloss.com) (52)


Mon March 26, 2012
(Washington Post) Fail "Speaker Gingrich is clearly in the last throes of his political career. And you can make a decision to go out with some shred of dignity or say irresponsible, reckless things ... he's clearly chosen the latter path"  (washingtonpost.com) (181)


Sun March 25, 2012
(Forbes) Spiffy On March 23, 2011, George Takei put up his Facebook page. Now, one year later, he has nearly 1.4 million fans. Suck it, Shatner  (forbes.com) (81)


Sat March 24, 2012
(CBC) Interesting Tryouts for a Canadian lingerie football team takes place to the drooling of a nearly all male audience. Yes, there's a video  (cbc.ca) (36)
(Daily Yomiuri) Strange Nearly bankrupt municipality of Izumi-Sano, Osaka Prefecture, plans to lease naming rights for city, city slogan, city hall, and public roads to interested applicants. Farkers see vacation to Izumi-Sano Boston Garden in their future  (yomiuri.co.jp) (30)


Fri March 23, 2012
(ITWorld) Audio 20 iconic tech sounds that are nearly extinct in today's modern world. Hark, the modem sings SKREEEEE DAAAAAA DONK DONK DONK BSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  (itworld.com) (84)


Thu March 22, 2012
(ABC) Amusing In a Roswell, New Mexico visit by President Obama, he opens with "I come in peace." Clearly, Mr. Obama's home planet is much further away than Kenya  (abcnews.go.com) (123)
(Belfast Telegraph) Silly "The notion of playing 'Danny Boy' over a loudspeaker every day at lunchtime in Limavady has been dismissed as an early April Fool's day joke"  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk) (7)


Mon March 19, 2012
(LA Times) Obvious For some inexplicable reason, earlier today Vegas moved the Donkos from 70-1 odds to win the Super Bowl to 10-1. Can't imagine why that happened *wink*  (latimes.com) (81)
(USA Today) Spiffy ObamaCare saved nearly 4-million seniors $2.16-billion in prescription medication costs last year. Praise be to Socialism  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (193)
(WRCB-TV) Stupid "Hey Earl, whut you think this suitcase thang is with all these wires hangin' out of it?" "I dunno Cletus, mebbe we should call the police." "We are the police, Earl. Here, hold my beer, I wanna try something"  (wrcbtv.com) (38)


Fri March 16, 2012
(My Fox DC) Interesting Cabbie opts out of early retirement  (myfoxdc.com) (12)


Thu March 15, 2012
(SacBee) Cool Texas baby missing for 8 years has been found. Authorities stunned to discover the baby is 5 feet tall and weighs nearly 100 pounds  (sacbee.com) (120)


Wed March 14, 2012
(WFAA) Amusing Hospital maintenance workers accidentally release St. Patrick's Day into a Dallas creek a few days early. (PICS, Video)  (wfaa.com) (35)
(Washington Post) Interesting DC's cherry blossoms are early bloomers, unlike submitter  (washingtonpost.com) (36)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Yahoo) Scary The bite caused her to lose part of an ear; hear no evil. She nearly lost her eyesight; see no evil. But she could speak and when she did she said SPIDER  (gma.yahoo.com) (100)


Mon March 12, 2012
(ESPN) Cool Angels' Kendrys Morales ready to return to the team after nearly two years, having overcome both a horrific leg fracture and subsequent fear of home plate  (espn.go.com) (12)


Sat March 10, 2012
(CBS Detroit) Asinine Man shot dead at Detroit gas station over price of condoms. Clearly he was not wearing protection at the time  (detroit.cbslocal.com) (54)
(Yahoo) Strange Missing hiker found after nearly a month in the woods. Rescuers report "she's alive. And she's got a cat"  (news.yahoo.com) (75)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Weird Early morning rush hour traffic looked normal on the FOX 10 Phoenix traffic cam. Except for the blinding explosion caught on live TV which no one can explain. It's happened Mr. Chayefsky. The News is the News  (news.gather.com) (90)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Politico) Stupid With earmarks nearly banned and free private jets and meals curtailed by pesky ethics rules, many members of Congress now say that their job "sucks"  (politico.com) (98)


Wed March 07, 2012
(Some Time Traveller) Amusing Don't wait until tomorrow, here's a recap of the iPad 3 event, 12 hours early  (business.financialpost.com) (54)
(Reuters) Interesting In coming years, we'll know Spring will come early when Punxsutawney Phil won't see his shadow due to being swept up by a tornado and smashed into a tree half a mile away  (reuters.com) (68)


Tue March 06, 2012
(The Post and Courier) Amusing If you're a substitute teacher, don't try an endear yourself with the students by showing them 'Jackass Number Two.' "The video clip featured a nearly nude man with a puppet covering his penis"  (postandcourier.com) (82)
(Washington Post) Interesting What shall we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning? Test his breath with a breathalyzer, test his breath with a breathalyzer, test his breath with a breathalyzer... when he reports on board for duty and at other, random intervals  (washingtonpost.com) (69)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Autism walk cut 7,920 seconds short due to nearly 27,154 gallons of rain, man  (sun-sentinel.com) (17)


Mon March 05, 2012
(The Daily Yorktown) Asinine NY to highway contractors: Finish the job late? That's a $33,000/day fine. Finish early? That's also a $33,000/day fine  (thedailyyorktown.com) (78)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Nike stock touches new yearly high. Workers given bonus of pay incentives, candy, extra nap time  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (9)


Sat March 03, 2012
(New York Daily News) Stupid Cute chick in running clothes gets $50 summons from cops for resting her injured leg on seat in nearly empty subway car. Of course, she should have known better not to have been a cute chick  (nydailynews.com) (251)


Fri March 02, 2012
(IT World) Interesting Think the iPhone was the first thing people avoided because it was only available on AT&T? 24 years earlier, AT&T tried and failed to bring us all the Internet  (itworld.com) (45)
(Local10) Florida High school valedictorian receives early graduation present from state of Florida .... deportation  (local10.com) (364)


Thu March 01, 2012
(New York Daily News) Fail Not satisfied with converting Anne Frank, Mormons posthumously baptize Daniel Pearl, the Jewish WSJ reporter killed by the Taliban in 2002  (nydailynews.com) (322)
(ESPN) Amusing Not news: ESPN blogger takes weekend off. Fark: Readers rejoice, nearly every comment on his blog post calls for vacation to be permanent  (espn.go.com) (71)


Wed February 29, 2012
(Daily Mail) Asinine Have you called to complain about having 14 slot B pieces, but the instructions clearly show 16? Congratulations, there's an IKEA secret police file on you  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)
(Bloomberg) Followup Crude oil declines for second day in a row on news that it clearly has nothing to do with gas prices  (bloomberg.com) (21)
(Yahoo) Unlikely The Norwegian Nobel Committee gets out to an early lead in the 2012 Troll of the Year contest  (news.yahoo.com) (99)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Washington Post) Followup Oscar's wishful thinking. "Billy Crystal...seemed to be overseeing a cruise ship dinner show designed to appeal to the over-50 travel club. Early on, it hit the rocks and started to list. Almost everyone drowned"  (washingtonpost.com) (90)


Mon February 27, 2012
(Quad City Times) Obvious Early voting in Illinois begins. Often voting scheduled to begin next week  (qctimes.com) (30)


Sat February 25, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass In the cool early morning hours, John Columbus Beane lay in the parking lot of Linda's Sports Bar, the distant police sirens signaling an end to a day filled with what had proven to be a string of very bad decisions  (wvgazette.com) (84)


Fri February 24, 2012
(Neatorama) Interesting Earliest known footage of a football game. Brett Favre is playing QB, contemplating retirement  (neatorama.com) (21)


Tue February 21, 2012
(Boing Boing) Amusing Euphemisms of the early 1800s: "Boxing the Jesuit" means what you think it does,"choaking pye" does not  (boingboing.net) (55)
(WRCB-TV) Amusing 4.0 earthquake shakes four Southern states. West Coasters nearly pull a stomach muscle laughing  (wrcbtv.com) (79)


Mon February 20, 2012
(ESPN) Silly "Derek Jeter already has reported to spring training so he can get an early start autographing bats and baseballs to put in the gift baskets he'll send women home with this year"  (espn.go.com) (11)
(RealClearPolitics) Fail Conservatives deride Obama's "soft despotism", because clearly what is needed is actual, hard, old-school conservative despotism  (realclearpolitics.com) (43)


Thu February 16, 2012
(IGN) Cool Do you want to snag an early copy of Mass Effect 3? Just keep watching the skis, uh skies  (ps3.ign.com) (59)


Wed February 15, 2012
(ESPN) Obvious What's Albert Haynesworth? Clearly not $7.2 million  (espn.go.com) (35)


Tue February 14, 2012
(KVIA.com) Scary Cell phone tower disguised as palm tree nearly kills a man after 5ft palm frond impales windshield (w/video)  (kvia.com) (72)
(Daily Record (UK)) Amusing Not many companies can claim that their net domain address clearly explains what it is that the company does  (dailyrecord.co.uk) (34)


Mon February 13, 2012
(kmbc.com) Strange Twins in yearlong quarantine. No, they don't want any Doublemint gum  (kmbc.com) (49)
(Radar Magazine) Obvious Whitney Houston's final movie to be released early. She had a lot of good lines  (radaronline.com) (40)


Sun February 12, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad Texas woman induces labor two weeks early so her dying husband could hold the baby. Get ready cause the dust is thick in this one  (news.yahoo.com) (154)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Mediaite) Dumbass Sarah Palin's CPAC keynote: "Time to drain the jacuzzi and throw the bums out with the bathwater." If she mixes any more metaphors, the early bird will grow moss on a penny earned  (mediaite.com) (203)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Yahoo) Misc Nearly 1 in 20 U.S. adults over 50 has fake knees; no stats available yet on the number of sharp knees  (news.yahoo.com) (46)
(Washington Post) Amusing George Will nearly fogs up his wire rimmed glasses in a rage: "Republicans who think America is being endangered by "appeasement" and military parsimony have worked that pedal on their organ quite enough" Oh snap  (washingtonpost.com) (61)
(AZCentral) Stupid Charles Barkley is unhappy with the decision to make Steve Nash the oldest point guard ever to play in the NBA All-Star game. "Clearly, we gave him a lifetime achievement award"  (azcentral.com) (24)


Thu February 09, 2012
(USA Today) Stupid Toppling TVs have crushed four Chicago children since October, so clearly it's time to start putting warning labels on these Doom Tubes and maybe start requiring protective gear to watch them  (usatoday.com) (129)
(Marketwatch) Scary Insiders are selling their stock at almost Gaussian proportions. This is clearly a sign that the end times are near and you should convert your 401(k) to canned goods and ammo  (marketwatch.com) (14)


Wed February 08, 2012
(MSNBC) Spiffy The devastating effects of contraception are on display today, as the teen birth rate and abortion rate have both dropped to their lowest levels in nearly 40 years  (msnbc.msn.com) (243)


Tue February 07, 2012
(New York Magazine) Obvious Hollywood might have learned that trying to adapt board games that were invented nearly a century ago into modern blockbusters is possibly a poor idea  (nymag.com) (109)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Lots of things can send you to an early grave - this is definitely one of them  (myfoxdc.com) (17)
(My Fox DC) Scary Safari tourists nearly get to experience feeding time at the tiger enclosure  (myfoxdc.com) (14)
(WPTV) Florida After days of meticulous planning, man pounces out of bush to chase after ex-wife, douses her with flammable liquid yelling, "I'm gonna kill you"... then stumbles and becomes engulfed in flames. (Early Darwin nominee)  (wptv.com) (73)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Florida Dejected bank robber wearing shorts on his head, not covering his face, leaves without money when teller nearly laughs at him. With pic of what a shorts-on-head bank robber looks like  (keysnet.com) (36)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting Crematorium to broadcast funerals live on the internet, allowing you to toast the dearly departed in your bathrobe  (mirror.co.uk) (22)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Think Progress) Dumbass Sen. Mike Lee thinks President Obama using his constitutional power to make recess appointments is exactly like the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor and killing 2400 Americans  (thinkprogress.org) (97)
(Some Guy) Obvious California nearly bankrupt and will run out of money in less than two months  (zerohedge.com) (120)


Mon January 30, 2012
(NBC New York) Sad Hey, remember that "Welcome to Vassar" message you got on our early decision applicant web site? Well, about that... funny story  (nbcnewyork.com) (112)
(The Sun) Interesting Rare medical condition means woman who nearly joined the Spice Girls can sing, but cannot speak, making her the exact opposite of the Spice Girls  (thesun.co.uk) (33)


Sun January 29, 2012
(io9) Scary George Washington may have been America's first president, but was he nearly America's first zombie-in-chief?  (io9.com) (44)

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