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Headlines matching 'cure'
Mon May 28, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Abc.net.au) Unlikely Female displays non-standard interests. Scientist (male) prescribes a boyfriend and some hot boinking to cure her. Bonus: Pics of said female with pointy knees  (abc.net.au) (7)


Fri May 25, 2012
(SCIENCE) Spiffy Schizophrenia drug cures a form of leukemia. Still no cure for the CIA-implanted chip in my head  (news.sciencemag.org) (17)


Thu May 24, 2012
(Abc.net.au) Dumbass Australian reporter to Australian politician: How do the poor secure meetings with you? Politician: Well, you know, business leaders are paying $25 grand  (abc.net.au) (31)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Washington City Paper) Scary You're the nation's capital. How do you dispose of personnel files? A) Retain, then dispose of securely, B) Retain indefinitely, or C) Cram an abanoned car full & set it on fire. And some dumpsters. At the fire academy  (washingtoncitypaper.com) (16)


Mon May 21, 2012
(Jezebel) Followup Psychiatrist who 'proved' gays can be cured says it was all a big mistake  (jezebel.com) (166)


Sun May 20, 2012
(Detroit Free Press) Followup Participation in Komen Race for the Cure down by as much as a third. GEE, I WONDER WHY?  (freep.com) (84)


Sat May 19, 2012
(Huffington Post) Strange Famous straight actor slaps obscure gay reporter for attempted sexual overture and it's captured on camera ... our culture will still be parsing this fifty years from now  (huffingtonpost.com) (55)


Fri May 18, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Hey, Hey, Hey, could a "fat tax" be heading our way to cure America's obesity problem?  (theindychannel.com) (362)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious It turns out getting a pedicure by allowing tropical fish to gnaw off dead flesh from your feet may give you an antibiotic-resistant disease. Who would have guessed?  (mnn.com) (64)


Wed May 16, 2012
(CNN) Dumbass How many times do I have to say this? If you run an unsecured Wifi network called "pedodave69" you are are only asking for trouble; especially if you are a retired FBI agent  (cnn.com) (18)
(ABC) Silly Paleontologists determine that Pliosaurs had arthritis. Still no cure for cancer  (abcnews.go.com) (3)


Mon May 14, 2012
(NYPost) Fail "After the media went ballistic on me, I received an e-mail offering me money not to preach at all until the November presidential election."; Wright said, "Barack wanted to meet me in secret, in a secure place"  (nypost.com) (143)


Sun May 13, 2012
(BBC) Cool Man City miracle finish secures their first League title since 1968  (bbc.co.uk) (30)


Sat May 12, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Welcome to the world, Benjamin Holtby. Will the CAPS netminder secure a spot for his team in the NHL Eastern Conference Finals? Or will the Rangers end a 15-year drought? We shall see tonight at 7:30pm ET  (m.nbcwashington.com) (1025)
(Some Guy) Misc President Obama's own doctor claims Obamacare is a failure, and that Obama lacks "passion, feeling and humanity." A good doctor would have cured him  (humanevents.com) (260)
(WSBTV) Sad Obscure law makes it tough for military dogs to be adopted after service, resulting in many of them being euthanized. Asinine: They are currently classified as equipment, rather than personnel  (wsbtv.com) (109)


Wed May 09, 2012
(News.com.au) Amusing If LoLCats make us smarter, we should have cured cancer by now  (news.com.au) (6)


Tue May 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Scary There is nothing to add that can make this funny: 90% of SSL-encrypted secure web sites aren't  (trustworthyinternet.org) (24)
(The Register) Sick Step 1: Patent an obscure bit of government funded telecomm tech. Step 2: Build it into a new GPS system. Step 3: Profit  (theregister.co.uk) (5)


Wed April 25, 2012
(MacWorld) Stupid Google to begin penalizing "search over-optimization." sex nudity scarlett johansson free win cash viagra baldness cure male enhancement mortgage loan click lottery numbers UPS delivery notification  (macworld.com) (58)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Washington Post) Sad Tom Davis (R-ret.): There are still centrist Republicans out there, but I won't name a single one because they'll probably lose their next primary to some Tea Partier  (washingtonpost.com) (120)


Thu April 19, 2012
(Humans Invent) Cool Situated in sleepy Kent, protected from nuclear attack and built miles underground lies The Bunker...step inside Europe's most secure data centre  (humansinvent.com) (17)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Unlikely It turns out the best way to cure your crippling arachnophobia is to let virtual hairy black-and-red spiders run around on your desk all day  (mnn.com) (150)


Wed April 11, 2012
(Mirror.co.uk) Sick Fake doctor tells women they have cancer that can be cured by having their breasts sucked  (mirror.co.uk) (144)


Mon April 09, 2012
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Sexual healing may make you feel so fine, but there's better places for it than the lawn in front of the pediatric office  (tampabay.com) (26)


Sun April 08, 2012
(YouTube) Video It's Easter, so here's some Christian Metal for your SMHC: Prog-Trash band Believer rocks your blessed socks off with "Sanity Obscure"  (youtube.com) (58)
(Telegraph) Cool Still no cure for....oh wait  (telegraph.co.uk) (155)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad Researcher finds that he's unable to verify 47 of 53 of major cancer studies. Still no cure for...wait a minute  (news.yahoo.com) (196)
(KTLA) Asinine Fark Mother Of The Year arrested for texting with a baby on her lap while on the 405 Freeway with a suspended license and unsecured kids in back  (ktla.com) (92)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Onion AV Club) PSA Fox network's 25th anniversary special to reunite casts from some classic Fox shows. Click over here to complain that {obscure, terrible show} is missing  (avclub.com) (133)


Tue April 03, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Woman calls 911 to procure a refund for a "nasty" Hardee's burger that she "only took a small bite out of"  (thesmokinggun.com) (101)


Sun April 01, 2012
(National Post) Spiffy In the U.S., political foes pretend they're tough. In Canada, they get into the ring and prove it  (news.nationalpost.com) (53)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Weird Questions you don't want to ask or have answered: "Could Obesity Be Cured by Injecting Our Guts With Fecal Bacteria From Ancient Mummies?"  (mnn.com) (60)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Some Spoiled Rotten Guy) Dumbass This is why children on airplanes should either be safely secured in a pet carrier, or the overhead luggage compartment  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (155)


Wed March 28, 2012
(Some Guy) Strange Man arrested for suddenly dropping his pants and filming the reactions of the people around him. FOX reportedly trying to secure the rights for their next reality TV show  (kitsapsun.com) (36)


Tue March 27, 2012
(PC Magazine) Interesting Writer laments that the advent of more secure wifi connections makes it harder for him to steal access  (pcmag.com) (52)
(Science Daily) Interesting All kinds of tumors disappeared or shrank when treated with new anti-antibody. Still no cure ... wait, what?  (sciencedaily.com) (102)


Mon March 26, 2012
(The New York Times) Interesting Scientists discover that liberals have no idea what conservatives are thinking. Still no cure for Ron Paul  (nytimes.com) (523)
(The Raw Story) Scary How are your supplies of bottled water and ammo these days? Mysterious disease literally turning thousands of children in Uganda into zombies, and not only is there no cure, but they aren't even sure of the CAUSE yet  (rawstory.com) (152)


Fri March 23, 2012
(New York Daily News) Stupid I know a guy. He'll break into homes. He obscures the peepholes. So the resident can't see. But he doesn't use butter. He doesn't use cheese. He doesn't use jelly. Or any of these  (nydailynews.com) (39)


Tue March 20, 2012
(Huffington Post) Interesting Looks like Susan G. Komen for the Cure is still reeling from its decision to pick a side in the culture wars. Well isn't that a shame  (huffingtonpost.com) (191)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting An exception has occured at $4M00xMisys and Vista must now restart  (finance.yahoo.com) (7)


Sun March 18, 2012
(Some Guy) Sad Mother: A) robs a convenience store, B) escapes in a stolen car, C) does so with her one-year old kid strapped in securely, D) kicks out the back window of a police cruiser, E) begs you to click on the photo to suck you into the insanity  (ksl.com) (38)


Sat March 17, 2012
(Forbes) Strange Marketing mavens split on Hyundai's new hipster-based brand identity, with some ads directed by Wes Anderson, other ads starring obscure indie rockers, and still other ads starring Jeff Bridges playing "Jeff Bridges"  (forbes.com) (48)
(this is london.co.uk) Caturday Bob the cat may not only have given his formerly homeless ex-heroin addict person a reason to get up in the morning, he has secured his future supply of gooshy food with a book deal just in time for Caturday  (thisislondon.co.uk) (723)


Thu March 15, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Make sure front license plate is securely affixed to your vehicle before driving around with gloves, ski masks, police scanners, handcuffs, hypodermic needles, blank copies of D.O.T. registration forms,front and back copies of $100 bills  (mega949.com) (45)
(Reuters) Obvious Year long study on 100 obese kids finds they have hard time sticking to low-carb diet. Still no cure for cancer  (reuters.com) (54)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Washington Post) Obvious The simple reality is that Mitt Romney only needs 48% of the remaining delegates to secure the nomination. And there's no way Santorum can stop him from reaching that easily achievable goal  (washingtonpost.com) (121)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Science Daily) Spiffy Scientists make important step in a cure for aging and death. Still no cure for balding, though, just like in the Star Trek Universe  (sciencedaily.com) (69)


Mon March 12, 2012
(io9) Interesting The technology to send trains into space has been developed. Still no cure for shoddy American rail system  (io9.com) (79)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting Pill to cure racism, still no cure for cancer  (news.yahoo.com) (89)
(BBC) Unlikely Purple monkey dishwasher may cure pink elephants  (bbc.co.uk) (21)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Daily Mail) Fail Cure me, Feed me, Steal me, Fraud me  (dailymail.co.uk) (15)
(Some Guy) Strange University and corporate licensee hopes new drug delivery system and possible cancer cure will draw your attention away from the "humanized cobra venom"  (bigislandvideonews.com) (13)


Wed March 07, 2012
(Wired) Asinine If you have a .com, .org or .net domain name, feel secure in the thought that the US Government can seize it whenever they feel like it, even if registered overseas  (wired.com) (55)


Tue March 06, 2012
(The Week) Scary So apparently NASA is about as secure as a 14-year-old with braces  (theweek.com) (26)


Mon March 05, 2012
(C|Net) Fail Remember last April when Sony was hacked and they were taking steps to make themselves "safer and more secure than ever before" ? Well ... about that  (news.cnet.com) (15)


Fri March 02, 2012
(Live Science) Interesting A new study suggests that caffeine affects "morning people" more than it does "night owls". Still no cure for insomnia  (livescience.com) (28)


Mon February 27, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing The 50 greatest movie freakouts is the perfect cure for last night's Oscars. And in other news, Billy Crystal was actually a Comedybot 5000 controlled by Jay Leno (NSFW language)  (worldwideinterweb.com) (46)
(3 News New Zealand) Stupid Church advertises cure for cancer. Still no cure for cancer  (3news.co.nz) (21)


Sat February 25, 2012
(AZCentral) Spiffy While the pitchers in the American League are getting pedicures, eating bon-bons, and altering the size of their girdles, pitchers in the National League are already working on their hitting  (azcentral.com) (105)


Wed February 22, 2012
(SLTrib) Stupid For only $8000, you can be cured of your porn addiction by being taken into the desert with no computer or cell phone, and forced to exercise, eat healthy food, and talk about your feelings. This is not relevant to my interests  (sltrib.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Amusing Where is the worst place to bake meth? c) in front of the most secure nuclear complex in the world  (wbir.com) (57)
(Central Valley Business Times) Cool Scientists believe they may have found a cure for Pierce's Disease. Which is meaningless to you unless you really love wine  (centralvalleybusinesstimes.com) (10)


Tue February 21, 2012
(Statesman) Interesting Scientist makes paralyzed rats walk again. Still no cure for cancer  (statesman.com) (20)


Sun February 19, 2012
(WorldNetDaily) Silly Headache cures from Chuck Norris  (wnd.com) (67)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting If it ever occured to you wonder "Who invented 5-hour Energy?". I'd be willing to bet your first answer wouldn't have been "A billionaire Buhddist monk"  (dailytimes.com.pk) (74)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Humans Invent) Cool Only 30 artisanal swordmakers remain in Japan, but artisanal they certainly are, trying to forge more obscure swords than the katana  (humansinvent.com) (104)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Scientists discover a drug designed to fight cancer reverses Alzheimer's in mice. Still no cure for cancer  (mnn.com) (65)
(Short List) Dumbass Scientists create a robot that needs to shiat. Meanwhile, cancer is still without a cure  (shortlist.com) (17)
(Fox News) Stupid Shyness and grieving will soon be classified as mental illnesses. In other news, pharmaceutical companies will soon have nice new drugs available to help cure you of your newly classified illnesses  (foxnews.com) (68)
(LA Times) Spiffy News: Scientists have found a drug that reverses Alzheimer's in mice within 72 hours Fark: the drug also cures cancer  (latimes.com) (28)


Tue February 07, 2012
(AP) NewsFlash Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family  (hosted.ap.org) (371)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Some Girl) Followup Komen for the Cure goes full derp, halts funding for stem cell research  (lifenews.com) (331)


Wed February 01, 2012
(LA Times) Sad Researcher who spent 18 years seeking a cure for Lou Gehrig's Disease dies. Of Lou Gehrig's Disease. Still no cure for Lou Gehrig's Disease  (latimes.com) (68)
(MSNBC) Interesting FDA Approves first drug for inoperable skin cancer. Still no cure for... Lupus?  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com) (22)

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