Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(KVAL.com)		Oregon Ducks starting QB suspended for entire 2010 season for burglary conviction. Which means he will likely be playing again by the end of the season, if history tells us anything. Fowl trifecta complete  (kval.com)	(41)

Because they couldn't contend with all the spectators, the Nanny State shuts down the famous Gloucester downhill cheese rolling race after 200 years of pratfall amusement  (dailymail.co.uk)

(74)

Calling Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez a dictator is a criminal offense worthy of jail time according to Constitutional scholar Sean Penn  (foxnews.com)

(587)

Sean Penn hopes critics of his recent mercy mission to Haiti "die of rectal cancer." You've gotta side with Penn on this one  (starpulse.com)

(67)

(Some Guy)

In hopes of understanding why popcorn smells so irresistably delectable in the movie theater, but less so at home, scientists are studying lab rats' sense of smound  (mnn.com)

(47)

Conceding that today's health care summit will be as predictable as kabuki theater, Democrats work on strategy for the real negotiations to follow behind the scenes  (washingtonpost.com)

(186)

Slideshow of female 40 something celebrities. Includes Michelle Pfeiffer, looking spectacular at forty eleven  (english.pravda.ru)

(77)

Archaeologists find the first octagonal house in the U.S. That's right. Octagonal. Suck it trapezoid  (abcnews.go.com)

(32)

		NASA satellite spots giant plume from Montserrat eruption. Volcano trifecta now in play  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(23)
(SB Nation)		NBC's crappy Olympics coverage has reached a point where sports fans are beginning to personally hate the network with the blazing agony of rectal herpes    (sbnation.com)	(163)
(Giant Freakin' Robot)		Eleven science fiction properties that need a movie, from the predictable (Futurama) to the lame (Red Dwarf) to the awesome (The Mote in God's Eye)  (giantfreakinrobot.com)	(347)

Probe into death of Georgian luger completed. Finds the track is perfectly safe and accident was the result of human error. Nothing to see here. Move along, spectator  (sports.yahoo.com)

(185)

(Some Guy w. a Shag Haircut)

Rough week for 70's teen idols: first Leif Garrett popped for heroin, now Sean Cassidy arrested for sex with underage girl. Tiger Beat arrest trifecta now in play  (badjocksnews.com)

(105)

		Expectant mothers need to stop using pregnancy as an excuse for... well, let's start with "memory lapses"  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(129)
		Consumer Reports ranks various coffee blends, finds that $4 cup of burnt coffee is no better than your fair trade organic, volcano shade grown, dictator-free, crapped-out-by-a-cat blend  (news.yahoo.com)	(162)

You would think with 238 pounds of pot in the trunk he would have had better traction. Weekend drugged driving trifecta now in play  (breitbart.com)

(28)

How to properly dock a ship. And by 'properly' we mean 'spectacularly'  (youtube.com)

(40)

(Maniacworld)

Spectacular streetlight formation  (maniacworld.com)

(12)

		For sale: Statue of evil dictator. No, not that one  (news.yahoo.com)	(167)
		Chicago is cancelling their 3rd of July fireworks show. THAT IS UNAMERICAN. WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT THE FOURTH OF JULY...oh, I see  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(67)

In praise of "one of the most exciting spectator sports anywhere": Competitive canine obedience. Good boy (with video)  (slate.com)

(8)

		It's aquigley's 2010 AFC/NFC Championship Sports Tab Spectacularrrrrrrrrrrrrr  (spreadsheets.google.com)	(357)
		New fast-acting super disinfectant from Germany may even be strong enough for Howie Mandel  (abcnews.go.com)	(30)

Pioneer's new Pandora-enabled car stereo may prove to be death blow to Sirius XM, as people become reluctant to pay for privilege of listening to satellite radio programmers' crappy taste in music  (thestreet.com)

(125)

SHMHC shreds your eardrums with a blending of old and new; Revocation - "Dismantle The Dictator"  (youtube.com)

(176)

Apparently cops aren't allowed to detain a lactating woman and fondle her until she squirts milk into a glove  (orlandosentinel.com)

(176)

MTV's self-fulfilling trifecta of cosmic stupidity: Tila Tequila, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton's reaction to Casey Johnson's death  (mtv.com)

(153)

Lil' Bow Wow kicks off 2010 with a tri-fecta of danger; tweeting while driving, drunk driving, riding in a Lamborghini with Chris Brown. Fark; ALL AT ONCE  (gawker.com)

(59)

Russian life expectancy increasing, with some hardy seniors reaching the ripe old age of 69  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(60)

This just in from the Bureau of Rectal Extraction: Tiger Woods scandal costs shareholders $12B  (blogs.wsj.com)

(38)

		Ex-Duke players on Indiana Pacers try to haze ex-UNC player Tyler Hansbrough with predictable results. Duke sucks  (aboverim.blogspot.com)	(60)
(Autosport)		Michael Schumacher's return to F1 is official. You submitted a better headline but team orders dictated that it pull over for this one  (autosport.com)	(69)

Nobody can figure out why crime rates are falling despite the expectation that the recession would turn everybody into desperate thieves  (philly.com)

(238)

Kotaku puts on a college football bowl and playoff spectacular; the good news is, in their reality we get an actual NCAA champion. The bad news is, their choice shows why the NCAA never lets video game geeks decide the NCAA champion  (kotaku.com)

(42)

Israel admits harvesting organs from Palestinians who didn't need them any more. Predictably, the anti-semites are making this sound bad  (guardian.co.uk)

(520)

		Wow. What a spectacular Christmas display. The lights are beautiful and the --- WHAT THE HELL?  (youtube.com)	(154)
(Rocks Off)		The 10 most important musical deaths of the decade (with all-important Ramones trifecta)  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(112)

(Some Guy)		U.S. to Capture Cow Farts to Save the Planet. This should complete the Cow trifecta  (dailyfinance.com)	(38)
(Some Aussie)		800 sheep and 40 cattle killed by Walla tip fire. BBQ trifecta is sick due to overeating  (bordermail.com.au)	(40)
(Some Guy)		Unknown number of hogs become instabacon in farm fire. Accidental BBQ trifecta complete  (witn.com)	(37)
(Some Guy)		A tasty tragedy, 60 cows are killed in barn fire. Accidental BBQ trifecta now in play  (cumberlink.com)	(58)

Catholics predictably pissed off about billboard ad that suggests the second coming might not have been all that great  (tools.themercury.com.au)

(212)

(SF Weekly)

"San Francisco is spectacularly mismanaged and arguably the worst-run big city in America."  (sfweekly.com)

(357)

(Some Lonely Guy)

Newspaper letters to the editor pages can be so predictable; Obama this, b-b-b-but Bush that, old man yells at cloud, expect controversy when sex robots arrive -- wait, what?  (gazetteonline.com)

(114)

Gary Numan says that he has never been drunk, in cars or out of cars. Rare Gary Numan trifecta in play  (contactmusic.com)

(15)

Is Charlie Weis implying that Pete Carroll is pulling a Tiger Woods? Dumbass tag claims a one-headline trifecta  (sports.espn.go.com)

(43)

Vikings WR Bernard Berrian busted for going 104 mph on Minnesota interstate. Vikings 100+ mph speeding trifecta now in play  (sports.espn.go.com)

(28)

		Glenn Beck's movie fails spectacularly, selling a total 17 tickets in New York and Boston: "The theater's almost empty"  (rawstory.com)	(248)
		Carmelo Anthony on his mad dash to the locker room: "I got Kaopectate in my hand. You guys do the math."  (espn.go.com)	(68)
		NY's OTB files for bankruptcy. Was really hoping that trifecta in the seventh would bail them out  (nytimes.com)	(12)

(Utne)

Man researches and collects the typewriters used to create classic novels. "The extra work makes me a more conscientious writer.... It's like firing a gun with every stroke." Typewriterfecta now in play  (utne.com)

(64)

(Some Guy)

Meet the multi-colored rainbow spider, which produces a spectacular array of colors to attract a mate. People who get the heebie-jeebies from spiders need to stay the hell out of this one (pic)  (mailonsunday.co.uk)

(49)

U2 playing Glastonbury in bid to quiet haters. "Bono has the instincts of a perennial suitor, a rock and roll travelling salesman who almost sees it as a matter of pride to be able to sell his wares to the most reluctant customer"  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)

(6)

(Some Guy)

Employers told to stamp out sectarianism in workplace as even seemingly innocent jokes ... hey, does it stink like Protesants in here or did a cow die in the break room?  (heraldscotland.com)

(21)

Former Dead or Alive frontman Pete Burns lights a cigarette and provides 100 octane nightmare fuel for everybody within view (pic)  (dailymail.co.uk)

(82)

(Reality Carnival)

Yeah, yeah, we've all seen pretty fractal pictures befo... HOLY THIRD DIMENSION, BATMAN  (skytopia.com)

(122)