Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		The government's use of legal exemptions to keep records secret rose during President Barack Obama's first year in office. Most.secretive.administration.ever  (abcnews.go.com)	(95)

(Some Pistol)

One reason to see Public Image LTD's upcoming tour? All proceeds will go to the recording of their album  (spinner.com)

(21)

		According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), the likelihood of a woman dying in childbirth in the US is five times greater than in Greece  (guardian.co.uk)	(268)
		Washington defeats conference leading Cal to join USC as the only two Pac-10 basketball teams with undefeated post-season records  (sports.espn.go.com)	(10)

(Some Idoliot)

And the saga of the Pants on the Ground guy continues as his record label is su...I'm sorry, he has a record label? Goddammit, America, no wonder the terrorists hate us  (digitalspy.com)

(15)

(Some Guy)

Hey Erasure: When your label makes you record your next album in their parking lot, you should take the hint and hang it up  (slicingupeyeballs.com)

(19)

		Bruce Willis manages to shatter record for the most-viewed video of all time on YouTube. All because he starred in a Gorillaz video. No, this actually happened  (contactmusic.com)	(46)
		According to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, Obama's health reform initiative will increase the deficit by $118 billion. What's that? I'm sorry, that's DECREASE the deficit by $118 billion  (rawstory.com)	(402)
(Some Guy)		Montana comes back from a 20 point second half defecit to win an NCAA tournament appearance. Bonus: Montana player breaks Big Sky Tournament records for points in a game  (missoulian.com)	(34)

		Records show Ohio State shooter had complained his bosses were treating him unfairly, had taken his red stapler  (aolnews.com)	(69)
		According to a new AP poll, Obama is more popular than Congress, Roman Polanski, lepers, swine flu, hurtz donuts, Toyota engineers  (news.yahoo.com)	(210)

		Calling Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez a dictator is a criminal offense worthy of jail time according to Constitutional scholar Sean Penn  (foxnews.com)	(587)
		UConn women win record 71st consecutive game. All three women's basketball fans suitably impressed  (courant.com)	(54)

		80 year-old British F1 racing great Sir Stirling Moss sets new speed record for descending three flights of stairs. Unfortunately it was in an elevator shaft  (timesonline.co.uk)	(18)
		Sarah Palin's palm-scribbles are justified because God did it too, according to an article not published by The Onion  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(124)
(Nirvana II)		Dave Grohl says the Foo Fighters will return to the studio in September to start recording their new album. Well, after Them Crooked Vultures, Grohl has no place to go but up  (spinner.com)	(47)

		Too chicken to dump your significant other? This guy will call them, dump them for you, record the ensuing hilarity, and post it on Youtube, all for only $10  (theglobeandmail.com)	(155)
		Despite being Tim Burton's second-worst movie after "Ed Wood", "Alice in Wonderland" has smashed March box office records  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(108)

(Some Grey Seal)		The most awesome collaboration you'll ever see in your lifetime: Neil Young and Elton John are recording an album together  (nme.com)	(38)
		Forget 2012, the world is over: Cleveland Cavaliers fans create world record for Most Snuggies Worn  (cleveland.com)	(45)

		News: One man shot in shoulder by another man. News+: After "ramming each other like bumper cars" in road rage. Fark: "It is unclear at this time which driver was shot" according to the Police Detectives  (firstcoastnews.com)	(21)
(Some Guy)		Blogger who said Tillicum should have been euthanized, according to the Bible, protests that he never said the whale should be stoned to death. "Even if you wanted to stone a whale, I'm not sure how you'd go about it"  (afa.net)	(132)
(Some Lola)		There will be a "new" Kinks release this year, and it will feature previously unreleased songs, according to the Kinks' longtime drummer, Mick Avory  (spinner.com)	(23)
(RSR)		In triumphant return to boxing for two ring legends, Mike Tyson to fight Evander Holyfield in late 2010, according to Don King  (ringsidereport.com)	(81)
(Army Times)		To show support while continuing two wars in a time of record deficits and struggling economy, Obama Administration seeks lowest military pay increase since 1973 at 1.4%  (armytimes.com)	(190)

(Some Awesome Bands)

Members of Portishead and Goldfrapp join forces to record music for a film that will have THE BEST SCORE AND SOUNDTRACK EVER  (spinner.com)

(16)

		For the record, carving "I luv Mike Welliver" into a tree trunk can be considered romantic gesture. Carving it into your girlfriend's chest, not so much  (daytondailynews.com)	(47)
		Today's infographic: US fast food burger chains mapped out according to market dominance. Awesome burger joint that only you know about failed to make the list  (fastcompany.com)	(75)

(Winnipeg Free Press)		Punishment pending in the lapdancing teacher incident. Fark: To the students who recorded it  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(106)
(WANE.com)		Is that a sophisticated camera and audio recording system attached to your right shoe and controls for video and audio in your pockets, or are you just happy to see me?  (wane.com)	(120)
		GOP majority: Filibustering is evil and should be done away with. GOP minority: Ready to set a new record for number of filibusters  (google.com)	(148)

		Essential recordings by the only modern classical ensemble worth a damn: Kronos Quartet  (nytimes.com)	(20)
		NATO warship sinks pirate ship off Somalia. Article sinks nautical terms per sentence record  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(222)
		Canada's economy expands at annualized rate of five per cent in the fourth quarter, according to the most boring headline on Fark today  (edmontonjournal.com)	(23)
		Marijuana use can up the risk of psychosis, according to some scientists THAT I WANT TO KILL    (news.yahoo.com)	(497)
(Some Jailbreakers)		According to a survey conducted by Planet Rocks, the best live album ever released belongs to Thin Lizzy. And, with the exception of UFO and KISS, the top ten list is pretty damned good  (music-news.com)	(198)

		Canada sets record for most Gold by host nation. Please be so kind as to suck it...world  (ctvolympics.ca)	(154)
		Cleveland Cavaliers shoot for new record for most snuggies, gay rape  (aolnews.com)	(16)
(NME)		The greatest music producer working today, Brian Eno, confirms he's working with Coldplay, one of the greatest bands recording today, on their next inevitably great album  (nme.com)	(51)

		Five-year-old boy breaks world record for air pushups, creepy photos  (metro.co.uk)	(89)
		Not News: Kurt Busch wins pole at Las Vegas. News: With a record breaking qualifying time. Fark: Ahead of 17 other drivers who also broke the same record  (nascar.com)	(27)

		Vince Carter sets world record by making 86 foot shot. Sitting down  (youtube.com)	(32)
		Former CNN reporter Charles Jaco cited for 'peace disturbance' after being confronted over his use of the term 'teabagger' by an aggressive person with a camcorder. Watch the carnage unfold before your eyes  (youtube.com)	(79)

(Some L-O-L-A-Lola)		Ray Davies is rerecording classic Kinks songs with Bruce Springsteen, Lucinda Williams, and The Killers. And then somehow Bon Jovi found out and decided to join. That's enough, Bon Jovi  (spinner.com)	(19)
		It might look like we saved Wall Street, but according to Matt Taibbi, the banks conned us, they are holding out on us, and the worst part is that they're going for the reload  (rollingstone.com)	(155)
		Mike Patton: "Nothing's doing it, Im not going to blame anybody... I go in the record store and look for like 2 hours and usually just end up going to the soundtrack section... It's pretty sad"  (youtube.com)	(94)
		2/3 of Americans think that the Republicans in Congress are not doing enough to cooperate with President Obama, according to an new national poll that was obviously produced by the liberal, Obama-loving media  (cnn.com)	(236)
		Good: Shattering the Olympic Record in your skating event. Bad: Getting disqualified. Ugly: Because you listened to your coach when he was screaming at you to get in the wrong lane  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(142)

(Some Blogger)		It's official: Over 64 percent of Canadians watched all or part of USA-Canada game, setting national records for TV viewing, shattered morale  (fangsbites.com)	(469)
(Las Vegas Sun)		Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would win election if the health care bill kept the public option, according to poll commissioned by the progressive group Committee for Providing Hints to Dumbasses    (lasvegassun.com)	(38)
		Athletes are happier to receive a bronze medal than a silver medal according to studies by three groups of people who are too nerdy to compete in sports  (usatoday.com)	(42)
		Johnny Cash releases yet another new album, is said to be considering a duet record with Tupac as his next project    (news.yahoo.com)	(98)
(Led Who)		The most epic duo ever to record an album: Roger Daltrey and Jimmy Page. Oh, wait, it's not 1972  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(18)

In 2004, George W. Bush went 214 days without a formal press conference. Today, Obama just beat that record  (washingtontimes.com)

(227)

Nice try: airport administrator negotiating deal to ease Delta's stranglehold on Atlanta. Trying too hard: administrator leaves spy pen in meeting room to record Delta's conversations  (ajc.com)

(24)

Police release recording of Palo Alto plane crash as recorded by gunfire location system  (mercurynews.com)

(30)

		According to a pathologist, Drew Peterson's ex-wife Kathleen Savio was accidentally beaten up and drowned  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(37)
(CNNGo)		American schools are finally using math teaching methods from Asia, which involve gambling with polar bears, according to pic  (cnngo.com)	(64)
		So who's in the lead for the 2012 GOP nomination according the members of the Conservative PAC? The gay-marrige supporting guy who imposed Obamacare on his state almost a decade ago  (news.yahoo.com)	(227)
		According to her defense attorney, that Alabama teacher who went crazy nuts and shot up some people...is likely insane. And if you can't trust her defense attorney, then the only ones left to trust are the voices  (news.yahoo.com)	(93)
		Gwyneth Paltrow says she's fixed her 'sagging ass'. Now to work on her husband's sagging record sales  (3news.co.nz)	(54)

		The Doritos Super Bowl ad wasn't funny, and you should all be ashamed of yourselves for laughing at it, according to onion-belted man who yells at clouds  (article.nationalreview.com)	(153)
		Michael Jordan wants to own the Bobcats "badly". Given his track record with the Wizards, that seems likely to be a very apt description for how he would own them  (sports.yahoo.com)	(29)

		Add this to the list of things you wish you didn't know about, between candiru fish and huntsman spiders: Groin Kick World Record  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(22)
		And the gold medal for best dressed Olympians goes to the Norwegian men's curling team. Don Cherry approves accordingly  (ctvolympics.ca)	(45)
		Unemployed and living in your mom's basement playing video games all day? You're not lazy, you just have Sluggish Cognitive Tempo Disorder according to the latest edition of the psychiatrists' "bible."  (dailymail.co.uk)	(111)
		According to Meredith Vieira and NBC, Michael J. Fox died of cancer while attempting to run across Canada  (sports.yahoo.com)	(88)

(Some Karma Chameleon)		Boy George has returned to the studio to record a new album, and he's brought along producer Mark Ronson. So there's a chance this CD will be quite good  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(38)
		A record 38.2 million Americans now rely on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, Oh SNAP  (guardian.co.uk)	(191)
(Some Guy)		Ohio man goes to Vegas to break the world record of most hugs in one day. Because there simply isn't anything else to do in Vegas except hug elderly strangers with fanny packs all day  (newsnet5.com)	(29)
(Some Hipsters)		Great news, insomniacs: The Strokes have just releases a nine minute "behind the scenes" documentary about the recording of their new album  (nme.com)	(24)

Your great-uncle in the Bronx would use this one to close the deal. It's the Flamingos, still sounding smooth 50 years after recording "I Only Have Eyes For You"  (youtube.com)

(31)

(NME)		Dr. Dre sues Death Row Records over their reissue of The Chronic, saying he never authorized the release. Whatever; he's not even a real doctor  (nme.com)	(47)
(Some Red Liner)		The DC Metro's spotless record tarnished with this morning's train derailment  (wmata.com)	(83)
		Iran is set to win a seat on the Human Rights Council of the UN, record an Alanis Morissette cover  (forbes.com)	(184)

		"Underdog Theory Debunked," according to noted scientist Simon Bar Sinister  (news.yahoo.com)	(20)
		Australian farmers should use dynamite to control the rabbit population, according to top scientists at the ACME Institute  (foxnews.com)	(65)
		60% of Australians have never looked at Internet porn, according to the latest figures from the Institute of Gullible Social Researchers  (news.com.au)	(101)
		In their last game before the All-Star Break, the Nets keep pace to match the 1972-73 76ers all-time losing record. The good news? Only 1,016 saw it  (sports.espn.go.com)	(28)

(Climateprogress)		Despite the localized "cold snap" and the most profound solar minimum in a century, the Earth experienced the hottest January recorded by satellite. Manbearpig  (climateprogress.org)	(162)
		Showing that he is as talented at running a college team as a NBA team, Isiah Thomas' Florida International team has a 7-19 record and an average attendance at home games of 120  (sportingnews.com)	(15)
(Some Guy)		It's official: all 3 major climate sites in the Washington DC-Baltimore area are recording the highest cumulative seasonal snowfall in 126 years  (forecast.weather.gov)	(68)
		Rush Limbaugh recordings repel beetles along with "Heavy Metal Music", which apparently includes Rush, Guns & Roses, and Queen  (news.discovery.com)	(24)
(Two Overrated Ladies)		It was bound to happen: Lady Gaga is recording a track with Britney Spears  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(35)

(Some Guy)		New Super Bowl ratings record faces first test as tonight is the last episode of 'The Jay Leno Show '  (tvsquad.com)	(44)
		16-piece orchestra consisting of of strings, winds, guitar, accordion, piano and percussion perform Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music"  (nytimes.com)	(34)
		On the strength of a franchise record 14 game winning streak, the Washington Capitals skate to the top of this week's NHL power rankings  (espn.go.com)	(89)

Hayden Panettiere reveals she's been working on recording an album for three years. She must have had the producers and writers of Heroes helping her out  (nowmagazine.co.uk)

(51)

(Some White Stripers)

Jack White to record with Dolly Parton. That's gotta be one helluva recording studio to contain three boobs that big    (digitalspy.com)

(41)

		Many scholars think much of what is recorded in the Bible is at best distorted, and some characters and events are probably totally fictional including Abraham, Isaac and Jacob  (time.com)	(100)
(Some One Hitter)		Rihanna's record studio has been infected with bedbugs. Looks like someone needs to stop using that umbrella ella ella and take a shower  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(11)
		A new TSG Friday Photo Fun. Today match the deadbeat with their favorite recording artist  (thesmokinggun.com)	(71)
		Electric cord + scissors + dumbass = fail  (liveleak.com)	(42)

		And she's buy-uy-ing a (license to record a cover of) Stairway To Heaven  (mtv.com)	(27)
(Some Sleep-Inducing Band)		Radiohead may have.........sorry, dozed off; Radiohead may have recorded a nzzzzzzzzzzzzz...oh, sorry, Radiohead may have recorded a new (YAAAAAAAAAAAAWN) album  (nme.com)	(28)
		Him of She & Him talks about the duo's next record, doesn't talk nearly enough about She, or show naked pictures of She, or tell us whether or not She will release a sex tape. You know, the stuff we really care about from She  (pastemagazine.com)	(30)
(Some Toothy Grins)		Shane MacGowan, Nick Cave, and Johnny Depp have finished recording their charity single for Haiti. To paraphrase Meatloaf, two out of three ain't bad  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(23)

		If you've ever wanted to record with one of the most overrated guitarists of all time, now's your chance  (contactmusic.com)	(54)
		Black Francis says new record which features song called "When I Go Down On You" is about "sucking at the only thing that matters"  (gawker.com)	(15)
		If you are the police department and can't lower the crime rate, there's a simple solution: record felonies as misdemeanors and refuse to take complaints from victims. Problem solved  (nydailynews.com)	(65)
		If the music sucks, at least the records are tasty  (youtube.com)	(9)

		Over 20 years ago, the groundbreaking anime Akira shattered box office records and arguably saved Japanese cinema. And here is a six-second argument for why it still holds up  (youtube.com)	(204)
		Exposure to luxury can make people more self-interested and less ethical, according to impoverished researchers  (calgaryherald.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)		40 years later, Pistol Pete still holds the record at a whopping 44.2 points per game. Here's a highlight reel of some of the most AMAZING basketball you will ever see  (vids.myspace.com)	(137)

		Sweet, merciful Concorde, you shall not have died in vain  (msnbc.msn.com)	(81)
(Some Guy)		Second largest swarm of earthquakes ever recorded at Yellowstone...and with December 2012 just around the corner too  (missoulian.com)	(97)

Wayne "Squarehead" Rooney scores his hundredth goal for Man U. But not all in one game, because that would be a record  (news.yahoo.com)

(25)

(Coloradan)		Your car's black box may record the fastest speed it ever traveled, and that high speed record may be used against you if you are ever in an accident  (coloradoan.com)	(153)
(Some Lip Syncer)		Milli Vanilli's Fab Morvan: "OK, cool. I didn't [sing on the record]. But to be technical, when someone records in a studio and Auto-Tune does your job, it isn't you anymore"  (popeater.com)	(85)

		Hey, Karl Rove, Obama's record on spending is bad but you don't need to distort the truth about Bush's profligacy, says... NRO?  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(31)
		The 15 most tortured fanbases according to the Sports Guy. Congratulations Cubs fans, you finally finished first at something  (sports.espn.go.com)	(154)

(Some Guy)		Johnny Depp to make music fans suffer by recording charity single to help Haiti. Surely Haiti would rather just have some of his cash  (twentyfourbit.com)	(20)
		It was clear from Sam Alito's confirmation hearing and his record of appellate opinions that he is a dogmatic, state-revering, right-wing judge. But last night, he unmasked himself as a politicized and intemperate Republican as well  (salon.com)	(477)

		Today's dose of forgotten 80s classics come to you courtesy of Dead or Alive, who liked to spin you right round like a record  (youtube.com)	(66)
		Cold kills your mom in record numbers  (msnbc.msn.com)	(45)
		On average, consumers spent $811 on Christmas gifts, more than the $699 they said they would spend, according to Department of Randomly Manufactured Statistics  (chicagotribune.com)	(12)
(Some Guy)		Jack White to produce another album. Stop farting around and make another record with Meg dammit  (nme.com)	(61)
(Some Guy)		The Who reveals pre-recorded Super Bowl set list, which they will lipsynch and perform air-guitar, LIVE  (billboard.com)	(134)

Which Carolina is the best Carolina? According to the week 11 men's college basketball AP rankings, it's Coastal  (sports.espn.go.com)

(39)

(mashtrends)		"Oral sex is the new goodnight kiss," according to teenagers who lie and documentary makers who like to scare parents  (mashtrends.com)	(640)
(Some Guy)		Mt. Washington 231 mph wind gust record officially blown away by Barrow Island at 253 mph. Your mom still sucks  (worldclimatereport.com)	(44)

(Money Times)		Blueberry juice could help ward off dementia, according to study by Pricipal Caught Sayof  (themoneytimes.com)	(29)
		Don't put the sun tan lotion away just yet - 'Jersey Shore' finale shatters MTV records. We got a situation  (nj.com)	(79)

		Happy News: Michigan unemployment creeps below15%, according to Department of Eeyore, Sad Trombone, and Debbie Downer  (abcnews.go.com)	(158)
		Unemployed British woman sets world record by collecting 12,113 different Pokemon items. She plans to celebrate the achievement with the boyfriend she clearly doesn't have  (breitbart.com)	(92)

		How are Americans celebrating Brown's win? According to the BBC, with finger snaps and chicken dances  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(29)
(Billboard)		Musicians performing at the Grammy Awards will stay after the ceremony in order to record a single entitled "We Are the World" to benefit victims of a recent tragedy. This is not a repeat from 1985  (billboard.com)	(47)

		DVR-proof commercial will prevent fast-forwarding, according to its creator, Hitler, Stalin and Dahmer Advertising Inc    (gawker.com)	(109)
		World record set for largest and longest inability to Fark  (abcnews.go.com)	(22)
		Britain hates Bono, according to Brian Eno  (contactmusic.com)	(40)

In today's "Proof that Hell Has Frozen Over" news, Paul Weller and Bruce Foxton are reuniting and recording new material. Yes, kids, this is just as important as any Beatles reunion  (contactmusic.com)

(67)

		Not News: Sex offender gets 5 years for probation violation. FARK: according to the comments and some of the rest of the internet, he posted some heartwarming YouTube videos, and should be free based on their merit  (wftv.com)	(204)
		"Art is not porn," according to article demonstrating that Australia's pornography laws are just as insane as the rest of the world's  (smh.com.au)	(37)

(some vomiting guy)		"I think the record should reflect that the witness is vomiting"  (edmontonsun.com)	(74)
(Some Guy)		What do you call a guy with a 17-20 record? Well, at Tennessee you now call him "COACH"  (govolsxtra.com)	(58)
		Germans need to clean up their toxic Asse dump according to their environment minister, Cartman's Mom  (thelocal.de)	(22)

After setting the formerly thought "unbreakable" all time shutout record, Martin Brodeur decides to keep himself occupied by inventing the super shutout - regulation shutout, OT shutout, shootout shutout  (bostonherald.com)

(64)

		Over 100,000 killed in Haiti earthquake according to Haitian Prime Minister  (cnn.com)	(560)
		In the winter of 1983, Russia's Vostok research station in Antarctica reached -128.6°F, the coldest temperature ever recorded. Scientists finally figure out how it happened  (livescience.com)	(76)
		On this date in 1968, Johnny Cash performed at Folsom State prison, recording one of the best country album of all times. Here's Johnny and other great music from behind bars  (avclub.com)	(50)

Boston police would like to remind everybody that it is a felony to use your cell phone to record them roughing up a suspect  (boston.com)

(294)

		Doctors in Florida set a new speed record for reversing vasectomies with a robot. If ever there was something you didn't want to be treated as a race, this is it  (theregister.co.uk)	(18)
		Human League head back to the studio to record their first new album in nine years. It's nice to know we'll have some good 80s nostalgia this year  (contactmusic.com)	(45)
		Banks bailed out by American taxpayers are finally implementing responsible financial compensation practices. Just kidding, employee performance bonuses for 2009 will be 'record-busting'  (abcnews.go.com)	(100)

		Violent video games much worse for kids than porn, according to Ron Jeremy. Violent, pornographic video games presumably somewhere in the middle  (kotaku.com)	(64)
		Arab and Jewish chefs unite to cook record hummus in hopes of creating whirled peas    (news.com.au)	(64)
		Belief in global warming drops from 71% to just 57% in a year. Something about record cold winters and mild summers the past two years may have something to do with it  (news.yahoo.com)	(901)
(Some Guy)		Outraged cyclists ask Facebook to remove group promoting violence against bicyclists. In accordance to their Terms of Use, Facebook complies. Just kidding. Facebook: "Hit the road, hipsters"  (sf.streetsblog.org)	(328)
(Some Guy)		Madison's Smart Studios, where Butch Vig recorded Nirvana's "Nevermind" and the Smashing Pumpkins' "Gish," is shutting down... because someone finally realized the '90s ended 10 years ago  (expressmilwaukee.com)	(48)

Morrissey dumps his management team, record label. Heaven knows he's miserable now  (contactmusic.com)

(24)

(Some guy)		Record number of deaths blamed on cold stress. Oh, the chill manatees  (news-journalonline.com)	(17)
		Porsches smack of success. Hondas preach practicality. And, according to a recent report, Chevys proudly proclaim of their owners, "I don't use the Internet"  (finance.yahoo.com)	(142)

		After finishing 5-11, Cleveland Browns consider replacing head coach Eric Mangini with Marty Mornhinweg, who last coached the Detroit Lions to a 5-27 record over two seasons  (sports.yahoo.com)	(72)
		Legendary Memphis producer/arranger Willie Mitchell dies at 81 - if you ever used an Al Green record to close the deal, you can also thank Willie for gettin' you some  (npr.org)	(15)

(Lowell Sun)		Legal puzzler of the day: If state law requires teachers to be fluent in English and tape recordings prove a teacher can't speak English, how much money should the teacher win in her lawsuit?  (lowellsun.com)	(175)
		Trent Reznor is heading back to the studio to again record another album as Nine Inch Nails, an album that will sound indistinguishable from all his others  (contactmusic.com)	(60)
		It looks like Leona Lewis's careeer is hitting rock-bottom early; she's recording with Robbie Williams and Kings of Leon  (contactmusic.com)	(8)
		The most popular searches for 2009, according to Google. Or, conclusive proof we have no attention span, or taste  (google.com)	(58)
		In show business, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the execs who renewed "Law & Order" for a record-breaking 21st season and the viewers who say, "That show is still on?"  (aintitcool.com)	(183)

As Obama's descending approval rating sets new records, Democrats whine about the pollster  (hotair.com)

(214)

American politicians deal with attacks by heightening security. Italian politicians deal with attacks by recording a CD of love songs  (stuff.co.nz)

(34)

Democrats plan to run against GOP record on national security. Wait, what?  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)

(114)

		According to Shelby Steele the racial problems of today have nothing to do with white racism, are Obama's fault and are easily explained with examples from The Emperor's New Clothes, Afghanistan, and of course, Ronald Reagan  (online.wsj.com)	(251)
(Some Guy)		Anonymous person who wrote racist letter asking for university to get rid of blacks can be charged with a hate crime according to DA who hasn't bothered to read the letter...or the Constitution  (dailyadvance.com)	(400)
(Providence Journal)		Rhode Island has safest drivers in U.S. according to study conducted by someone who has never driven in Rhode Island  (projo.com)	(91)

		AT&T want the FCC to approve their internet-only phone service so they can eliminate landlines. For those of you born after 1990, landlines are what we used to use before cell phones  (consumerist.com)	(45)
		There's drunk, damn drunk, extremely drunk, and then there's "setting the state record" drunk  (news.yahoo.com)	(173)

		Schools should close for a minimum of eight weeks to lessen flu pandemics, according to a study endorsed by every student in the United States    (labspaces.net)	(51)
		You're Brett Favre's nephew, you win the state high school football championship, and break the career TD passing record by 40. And no college will touch you  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(128)

		Most exciting scientific discoveries of the decade according to, um, some really, really smart people  (telegraph.co.uk)	(42)
(Some Guy)		Japanese man sets a world record for a hand-launched plane made with only paper. For those born in the internet-age, go ask your father what a paper airplane is  (mnn.com)	(125)

News: Celtics take their league-leading road record into L.A., lose on buzzer beater. Fark: To the Clippers  (nba.com)

(34)

Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes bastardization set a new record for biggest movie opening on Christmas. Goddammit, read a book, America  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)

(193)

		"Is it after four minutes past two in the afternoon? That's the exact moment today when, according to a new survey, festive revellers get fed up of eating leftover turkey"  (scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com)	(51)
		Washington influence peddlers on track to shatter last year's record $3.3 billion spent lobbying Congress. That's change we hoped we wouldn't have to believe in  (politico.com)	(41)

		Merry Christmas, to the declining 78% of Americans who declare themselves Christian according to latest Gallup polls  (gallup.com)	(259)
		Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You. Well, according to Billy Squier  (youtube.com)	(12)

It just wouldn't be the death of a famous celebrity without someone trying to cash in. This time it's record label bosses scrambling to find Brittany Murphy's lost recordings. Obvious tag asplodes  (starpulse.com)

(11)

Simon Cowell is quitting American Idol. At least, according to his brother, who heard it from his cousin who heard it from his wife who overheard someone talking about it at 31 Flavors last night  (contactmusic.com)

(26)

		Recording studio robbers luck into the world's only non-packing rap crew  (myfoxla.com)	(40)
		Like those weirdos who prefer scratched vinyl records to CDs and gas-guzzling Hummers to hybrids, some people prefer the old-style trip-the-fuse-every-10-minutes Christmas lights  (3news.co.nz)	(89)

		According to scientific analysis of millions of years of data, Earth is doomed to see its sixth epic mass extinction thanks to habitat destruction, pollution and global warming  (sfgate.com)	(189)
(Some stats guys)		U.S. government prosecutions reach a record high. Apparently that's what happens when the U.S. government isn't trying to fire the prosecutors  (trac.syr.edu)	(21)

		Former Megadeth guitarist Jeff Young has accused Dave Mustaine of "dissing, exaggerating and just plain lying" about his bandmates. This from a guitarist who recorded all of one album with Megadeth  (contactmusic.com)	(40)
		Cow jumps six feet onto roof, possibly as part of his training to break the bovine "over the moon" record  (telegraph.co.uk)	(60)

		Chilliest place in the Solar System ever measured by spacecraft found on the Moon, eclipsing the previous record held by your ex's cold, dark heart  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(115)
		British banks about to phase out checks. For you youngsters, checks are pieces of paper that people used to use to buy LP records, camera film and leaded gasoline  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(68)

Woman led long campaign to have window blinds and shades recalled, all because she didn't pay attention as her daughter was strangled to death by a mini-blind cord  (chicagobreakingnews.com)

(194)

So, apparently Indiana has a football team; and that team broke the record 21 wins in a row yesterday. Boring, I know. Can we please get back to what the Saints and Vikings are doing?  (sports.yahoo.com)

(78)

The guy who replaced Jay Cutler throws Brandon Marshall an NFL record 21 complete passes  (670thescore.stats.com)

(63)

		"The Middle East represents a vast, largely untapped market for Internet businesses, according to industry experts. So what's holding everyone back?" Obvious tag has been living in a cave with Osama  (cnn.com)	(23)
		Rowan Atkinson's car catches fire. According to bystanders, Atkinson spent 10 minutes running around the car soundlessly while mugging to imaginary cameras in a particularly unfunny manner  (express.co.uk)	(93)

(TorrentFreak)		Remember that chick who was being prosecuted as a pirate for recording four minutes of New Moon? It was thrown out and the director of the movie apologized. For the prosecution part, not New Moon  (torrentfreak.com)	(46)
		Coldplay is auctioning off a decade's worth of music memorabilia for charity. Guess they don't want to be associated with their gold and platinum records either  (contactmusic.com)	(10)
		RCMP seize pot from woman's bra, recording the biggest bust ever  (cbc.ca)	(62)
		Okay mac, just gimme all your corduroy jackets with missing buttons, out-of-style belts, 10-year old National Geographics and Flowbees with missing attachments and we'll all walk away from this and no one will get hurt  (myfoxdc.com)	(65)

		The average American consumes 34GB worth of "data" -- including 18.5GB of "gaming data" -- each day, according to a new study apparently authored by Sen. Ted Stevens  (news.cnet.com)	(110)
		No matter what you've been told, you can't make up your own promissary notes to pay back loans. "None of it really makes sense, but according to their conspiracy theory, it does."  (stltoday.com)	(143)
(Political Wire)		According to Sen. Jim DeMint, Republicans actually have the same problem as Obama: They are too far left  (politicalwire.com)	(92)
		Julian Casablancas doubts The Strokes will return to the studio, presumably because they ran out of one-chord songs to record  (contactmusic.com)	(16)
		Hollywood expects 2009 to be record-breaking $10 billion year. Blames illegal downloading  (abcnews.go.com)	(52)

(Some Guy)		Flight Data Recorder: Flight Deck door on AA Flight 77 was never opened before it plunged into the Pentagon. Hijackers must have been hiding in the glove compartment  (pilotsfor911truth.org)	(669)
		Google releases Chrome browser for Macs, causing world's strongest recorded nerdgasm  (physorg.com)	(161)
(Springfield Republican)		Amtrak sets record as Americans take average of 0.0023 trips each during Thanksgiving week  (masslive.com)	(117)

		Scientists say 2009 will be the fifth-warmest year ever recorded and before you ask, no you can't see the thermometer and they accidentally threw out the envelope they used to write down all the data  (iol.co.za)	(973)
		New David Foster Wallace story to show up in New Yorker which, including footnotes, is expected to be a record 2,137 pages this upcoming month  (pastemagazine.com)	(17)
		Terry Sawchuk, you're the next contestant on "Martin Brodeur Is About to Break My Goaltending Record"  (startribune.com)	(28)

(Some Feline)		Cat Power will record her next album without her backing band, meaning all you'll hear is her whiny voice over amateur piano playing  (nme.com)	(39)
		Indonesia breaks sky lantern record. With amazing video  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(32)
		Here's what happened: the "Monk" series finale pulled in record ratings  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(110)

(Some Guy)

If you broke into a house and stole three accordions, the police would like to ask you WTF you were thinking, once they stop laughing  (wiltshiretimes.co.uk)

(69)

		Ding. You are now free to cut the ambilical cord  (wbbm780.com)	(92)
		California town appears to be proud that they continue to hold the record for having the nation's highest unemployment rate at 30%  (finance.yahoo.com)	(20)
(Some Farker)		Local police cordoned off the area in preparation for the Christmas parade. Reckless train driver refuses to alter his course to avoid police cruiser  (johnsoncitypress.com)	(38)

		Tanker leaks 8,000 litres of lube onto German highway, narrowly beating your Mom's record  (thelocal.de)	(38)
		And, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood, and Steven Seagal's A&E show broke the all-time viewing records for the station  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(74)

British pop star Lily Allen will take time off from music starting next March, in order to start a record label and a fashion store and burn that horrible wig she's wearing (pic)  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(13)

		Looking at actual music sales instead of bald assertions by white male hipster critics, this decade's top musical influences were reality TV smash hits, novelty records, charity singles, cover versions, manufactured pop, and Kylie Minogue  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)	(166)
		British complain about astronomical prices charged to skate on outdoor rinks during the winter, ignoring the fact that ice is as rare as a full set of healthy teeth in the UK and is priced accordingly  (guardian.co.uk)	(15)
(popmatters)		"That's when you realize the background song in that commercial was in fact a song off one of your favorite records... You sit there, a bit dumbfounded. And you think, 'What a bunch of sellouts'"  (popmatters.com)	(137)

		"If somebody is going to do that (break all my team passing records), I'd love to have it be Tom Brady as opposed to anybody else.'' says Drew Bledsoe, while cutting himself with a razor blade  (boston.com)	(40)
(Prospect Magazine)		Brian Eno: "Look at the dividers used to separate music into different categories. There used to be about a dozen: rock, jazz, ethnic, and so on. Now there are almost as many dividers as there are records"  (prospectmagazine.co.uk)	(93)

(CATO Institute)

Republicans: Obama's first fiscal year shows record high spending, see how fiscally irresponsible he is? Libertarians: Actually, 96% of it was Bush's spending, you unprincipled hacks  (cato-at-liberty.org)

(431)

(Some Guy)		Developed nations come up with a plan to improve their climate change performance - throw Canada out of the club so its "appalling" environmental record isn't lumped in with theirs  (theecologist.org)	(119)
		Richard Hell discusses re-recording his '82 album 'Destiny Street' with Bill Frisell and Marc Ribot: "I was insane and desperate and riddled with drugs and didn't know how to make a record sound good"  (guardian.co.uk)	(15)

(Access Hollywood)		According to Good Morning America, male pop stars who kiss men: Bad; male pop stars who beat women: Good  (accesshollywood.com)	(65)
		English soccer fans "furious" at record high prices organizers charge them to watch their team suck at 2010 World Cup  (dailystar.co.uk)	(26)

		Hannity: This is one of the coldest years on record, so global warming is a hoax. Science: This is one of the warmest years on record, so Hannity is a douche  (feeds.mediamatters.org)	(lots)
		Good: New Jersey Nets close in on NBA record. Bad: It's the record for most consecutive losses to start a season  (sports.yahoo.com)	(20)

(Some Guy)		City revising its Freedom of Information Act guidelines in series of closed door, off the record meetings  (michiganmessenger.com)	(19)
		77-year-old Japanese man who lost his Guinness World Record as oldest Everest climber to 78-year-old Nepalese man pretty damn piqued, vows he will climb Everest again at age 80  (google.com)	(14)

After blowing out Tampa Bay to bring their record to 10-0, New Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees says "we haven't peaked yet"  (usatoday.com)

(96)

Heisman hopeful sets new record for wins as a college quarterback. Congratulation Mr. Tebo---,wait, who is this Colt McCoy guy?  (sports.espn.go.com)

(80)

(Nikki Finke)

"Twilight: New Moon" breaks the all-time box office opening day record. In other news, what the hell is wrong with people?  (deadline.com)

(174)

(Some Guy)		Neil Peart of Rush has been commissioned to record a new version of Canada's "real" national anthem. The Cool tag is looking to high-five someone  (newswire.ca)	(46)
		Latest Volt pre-production model taken for a spin. The verdict might shock you  (nytimes.com)	(84)
		Cool: Ringo Starr is recording a new album. Cooler: It will feature an ex-Beatle on backing vocals. Sad: Paul McCartney is the only other ex-Beatle left alive  (contactmusic.com)	(50)

(RedandBlack.com)

Only a year and a half into his term, UGA VII dies suddenly of a heart attack with a record of 16-7. Damn good Dawg  (media.www.redandblack.com)

(84)

		Egyptian mummies suffered from hardening of the arteries, according to new research from the I Thought That Was The Whole Farking Point Institute of Egyptology  (online.wsj.com)	(16)
		Vinyl record sales doubled in past year, indicating a clear comeback. Eight-track cassettes expected to follow suit  (variety.com)	(124)
		According to CNN, we need to brace ourselves from China's impending rock n' roll invasion  (cnn.com)	(36)
		Who should replace Steven Tyler? According to Rolling Stone readers, John Lydon, Meatloaf or David Lee Roth would suffice  (3news.co.nz)	(67)

(Blurt)		After recording one of Loretta Lynn's best album, Jack White is looking to do the same with Wanda Jackson  (blurt-online.com)	(24)
		The 9 most underrated funny songs: According to Weird Al  (cracked.com)	(81)