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headlines found matching 'cops'
Sat April 20, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Cops can do this?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 19, 2019
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
How not to alert the world to the fact that you just got high
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOS 13 Asheville)
 
 
 
Florida cops defy their state's weirdness and rescue abandoned baby ducks stuck in the drain
source: wlos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 17, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Arizona couple lured day laborer from Home Depot, forced him to have sex at gunpoint. Husband told cops it was a "sexual fantasy scenario"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 16, 2019
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Cops hunt middle-aged woman wearing devil mask and wig pouring acid over cars and shoving porn through letter boxes in tiny English village
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Not to panic Floridians but very hungry alligators are invading your streets, homes and pools. Bonus: It's also mating season for them which makes them hungrier because they're more active
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 15, 2019
(NBC 26 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man rides his Harley through an active factory, dismounts and steals a forklift and continues joyriding until the cops nab him for DUI
source: nbc26.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
New Jersey bride takes her vows seriously, standing by her husband in sickness, health, and court appearances for getting drunk, sexually assaulting a waitress in a bathroom, and starting a fight with cops
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
"The car is a Ferrari and it goes fast" says arrested Florida man doing his part to not ruin his state's reputation
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Mom and daughter come home, tackle burglar
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 14, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man takes smuggler of the year award complaining of stiff neck but the cops smell something fishy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 13, 2019
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman who 'has to pee' steals truck from city employees. Uh oh, urine trouble
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
German cops order golden Porsche off the road for being too shiny. For intervening, police win gold meddle
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 12, 2019
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Man abandons his pet dogs in tiny backyard without food, water, shelter for weeks until subdivision neighbors call cops. Did I say dogs? I meant full grown horses
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Scary: Kidnapper tries to drag kid off metro bus. Hero: prevented by good Samaritan. Scary: Kidnapper follows bus in car. Hero: Cops stop car, arrest kidnapper. UltraFark: kidnapper calls for backup, two carloads show up, attempt to intimidate cops (starts in 5th paragraph)
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
As you're arriving home, you notice a *lot* of cops around. Then you realize: they've surrounded *your* dwelling. They haven't noticed you yet. What do you do?
source: handsalltogether.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 11, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman wanted by police taunts them online writing, "Do you guys do pick up or delivery?? 😂😂😂😂" and since this is Fark you can guess what happened next
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 10, 2019
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Burglar in woman's bathroom turns out to be Roomba. Cops post mugshot anyway
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 09, 2019
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Turns out that racist policing causes the targets of the racism to hate the cops
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump's nominee to head the Fed: the one with the $75k tax lien, who refused to pay back alimony and child support until four cops, two realtors and a locksmith showed up at his house to sell it according to court order
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 08, 2019
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Allison Mack pleads guilty in NXIVM sex cult case
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 06, 2019
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Cops are going undercover to make New Jersey smell a little less shiatty
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 05, 2019
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
British stag do tourists now being hunted by police for parading through Krakow, Poland in MANKINIS (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Most cops are able to keep their racist beliefs to themselves, rather than share them over social media
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 03, 2019
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Faking a home invasion to cover up theft of fundraising money isn't normal, but on Thin Mints it is
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 02, 2019
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Richie Incognito pleads guilty to disorderly conduct at funeral home; says it was because he was not a mourning person
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Komodo Island will be off limits to tourists because people can't stop stealing the dragons
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 01, 2019
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Someone unclear on the concept keeps stealing Ring Doorbells, leaving lots of crisp footage for the cops
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 29, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Court strikes down New York's "gravity knife" ban as unconstitutional. Heavy, man
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Do you know this woman who was hit by a car? Cops have no record of her in all 50 states, and the names she gives them don't seem to exist
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 28, 2019
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Seventeen Chicago cops raid a 4-year-old's birthday party, allegedly pointing guns at the kids and smashing the cake while looking for a guy who hadn't lived there for five years
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British cops re-enact scene from "Hot Fuzz"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man is forced to show penis to police and in-laws to prove he didn't kill his wife with his huge boner (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The Matrix just turned 20, and now you're taking the blue pill this time since it's Viagra and you're feeling OLD
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
The Mystery Stabber is out there tonight, and he's feeling stabby
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 27, 2019
(The first team)
 
 
 
Put those mushy bananas on your counter to good use, like preventing cops from tailing Detective Axel Foley
source: wellandgood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 26, 2019
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
♫ I was in no mood to trifle / I took down my trusty rifle / And went out to stalk my prey / What a haul I made that day / I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow / Two game wardens, seven joggers, and a cow... ♫
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Watch three spring breakers foil a gunman trying to rob them, while the fourth friend backs away and watches
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Woman busted for repeatedly calling 911 to report boyfriend was "not being nice to her"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(More Potatoes)
 
 
 
The difference between genius and insanity is that insanity usually has its own Youtube channel and Twitter account
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 25, 2019
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
You ever have an urge to rush the stage during live theater, or just trip a random passing waiter for no reason? Of course, you do not act on them, but confess here
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
It takes a special kind of man to fake being an Instagram celebrity in order to convince an underage girl to take an $800 Uber ride from Texas to Florida in order to have sex, and that kind of man is Florida Man
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 22, 2019
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dead man rides NYC subway during morning rush
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Good to know that you can still pleasure yourself with a sex toy in front a homeowner's CCTV and avoid prosecution in Scotland (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If Florida cops catch you illegally making the beast with two backs, they'll release the video to the public. That includes you, Robert Kraft
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 21, 2019
(Fark)
 
 
 
Power is being shut off to submitter's building today for 8 hours. What should I do in the cold and the dark?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Bad: Cops raid your home in a child porn investigation. Better? They only arrest you over the illegal marijuana grow operation they found
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 20, 2019
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Robert Kraft files motion to keep sting video under single serving wraps
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman pranks victim with tire iron at Wawa. Expected to be charged four ways
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 19, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What's the stupidest thing you did as a teenager? Subby painted his wang with Liquid Paper. To this day he has no idea why
source: brainjet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
To make insult worse than injury man who put lead in his pencil the hard way is charged. Most likely not his best day
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police: That woman we pulled over shot herself in the mouth after we handcuffed her behind her back. Yeah, that's the ticket
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 18, 2019
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled smoking some pot when I suddenly thought, "Gosh, the mob's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Godfather for not letting me date his niece." Who's with me?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 16, 2019
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Well, so much for the idea that "video recording and bodycams will keep police officers more accountable for their actions"
source: miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 15, 2019
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"Thrasher" magazine Editor-In-Chief ate it for the last time
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 14, 2019
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Conor McGregor saves lucky fan from deadly brain tumor
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Sober arrested for driving drunk
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 13, 2019
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Bridal party banned from flight to Cabo San Lucas and you better believe they had a problem with it
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jacob Wohl is back to doing crimes to own the libs
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 12, 2019
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Pro-tip for panhandlers: Don't carry your iPhone X in your $500 purse, just in case the cops stop you while you're begging for diaper money
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 11, 2019
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Cops: We shouldn't have been overzealous in our arrest of Stormy Daniels, sorry. But we were there only because of human trafficking, which we didn't find any evidence of
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 08, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Angry drive-thru customer storms Taco Bell, makes own food in kitchen. On a related note, his toilet will also soon be storming
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 07, 2019
(Observer & Eccentric)
 
 
 
If you're high on pot and 15 Xanax while on probation, you may not want to start banging on a strangers door at 5:30 in the morning
source: hometownlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Police make shocking discovery after screams from beyond the grave are heard coming from cemetery, find living man (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man gets lead poisoning after aiming his wallet at police and shouting 'I have a gun'
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 05, 2019
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Plucky star from 'School of Rock' charged with felony guitar theft. Maybe he can pull some strings
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man decides if he can't have his car, the impound lot couldn't have it either. If only he waited 20 minutes more before throwing the fire bombs
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 04, 2019
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Cracked really wants to believe that cops, Coast Guardsmen and former employees of Supreme Court Judges would not throw White Power hand signs. Really, really wants to believe it
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 01, 2019
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
An inFURiated New York City can finally rest, stolen bodega kitten reunited with 10-year-old autistic boy
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Are you a writer? Do you have what it takes to help out a good cause? Are you wearing pants? Either way, the 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology is open for submissions
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fox. Cops. Ops. Shots. Fox in copse. Cops stalk fox. Fox shocks cops, cop hops and flops. Shot from cop's flop blocked and stopped. Fox caught shot from cop and dropped
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 27, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crooks to cops: "Do ya job". Cops to crooks: "Ok then"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 25, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Robert Kraft hugs one more prostitute after arriving in Boston on his private jet. Gets a nice kiss too
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 22, 2019
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Trevor Noah finds the positive in the Smollett fracas; "it was a story about people who hated him because he was black and gay. Now, people hate him because he's an asshole; they're judging him on the content of his character. That's progress"
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 21, 2019
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Apparently winking at and nudging a woman in a pub can land you in court for propositioning
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 20, 2019
(Fark)
 
 
 
In which our humble narrator stares into the pits of madness, confesses his inadequacy, and humbly requests your scornful missives. This is your Fark Weekly Writer's thread, #PitMad prep edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police get into standoff with a life-size stormtrooper statue. At least if it ends in a shootout you know the stormtrooper will miss
source: 97x.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Lunatic dirtbag thinks dog is spying on him for the cops. L.D. tapes up dog and tosses him out of his car. Cop saves dog, cop finds fingerprint and arrests L.D. Doggo goes home with family. A happy ending for everyone but lunatic dirtbag
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 19, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Former NFL player had a long-running feud with a neighbor over a parking spot and agreed to meet at a nearby school to "settle it." Unfortunately, the neighbor apparently realized he'd agreed to fight a former NFL player and brought a gun
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 18, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
"Naked and belligerent" woman, 21, attacked fiancé for declining to have sex with her, cops say
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 17, 2019
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Geez, one little mistake and suddenly everyone's all over your ass. OK, I fibbed to get a search warrant that got four cops shot and two citizens killed, but why rake a guy over the coals for something trivial like that?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Neighbors band together to try to get a pusher off the street
source: fox46charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 16, 2019
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sixty-year-old man with concealed-carry permit allegedly shoots two Walgreens pharmacy workers over his meds, escapes in Hyundai, ditches it, runs to a Golden Corral where cops apprehend him after shootout. An American tale, ladies and gentlemen
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
When the police include "similar operations have been performed at this house several times in the recent past" in the press release about raid at your home you really need to question if you are cut out for a life of crime
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 15, 2019
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
NewsFlash
 
Aurora, IL Active Shooter on the loose, shot 4 cops, unknown civilian casualties at Pratt Company. Party Time. Excellent. Not (UPDATE: shooter deceased)
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 14, 2019
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Actual headline: 'Bomb threat' was a warning from man needing to poop at Home Depot, Kansas cops report
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 13, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
🎶 Cops found some pills / On Blue Berry Hill 🎶
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Murder suspect says he didn't mean to cover his ex-girlfriend's mouth with tape, bind her arms and legs, force her into a suitcase and then dump her on the side of the road, he swears
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Lambert does something bad
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Cops arrest Bad Florida Man who beat up girlfriend in parking lot, then shot, wounding Good Florida Man who tried to stop him from attacking woman
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 12, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
When did the burrito replace the icepick as the preferred weapon of Florida Man?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Japanese bonsai owners, while hopeful their "tree babies" would be returned, implore the thieves to take proper care of them
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Blowing on an ember can get you a visit from the fire department. Unless your Husky is named Ember, in which case you're getting a visit from the cops
source: pcsoweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
"Thank you for calling Infowars. You're live with Roger Stone." "Yeah, Roger, I just wanted to let you know you're going to prison"
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 11, 2019
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Dennis celebrated his 66th birthday by running three trucks off road, mooning drivers, flipping off cops as they pursued him, fleeing into shed after arriving home, finally coaxed out by police to surrender. Don't be like Dennis
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 10, 2019
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If the owner is pointing a gun at you, maybe you shouldn't try to repo his car. And if the repo guys are driving away with your car on the tow truck, maybe you shouldn't shoot at them
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 08, 2019
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Warner Wolf arrested for defacing sign and TMZ has footage. Let's go to the video tape
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 07, 2019
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Did you know that it's illegal in California to refuse to help the cops?
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You're stuck in jail because your mother can't pay your bail. Do you: a) cool your heels, b) start a prison riot, or c) call 311 and send police to her home by reporting phony crimes there? Bonus question: if c), do you give your real name to 311?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 06, 2019
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Armed teens rob bank, order Uber for getaway, get free ride to jail instead
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida cops catch sex fugitive wearing "Father of the Year" shirt. State checks out
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 05, 2019
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
SC cops: "We're going to seize your cash and assets." Suspect: "For use as evidence in court?" SC cops: "No, we just need the money"
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Truck driver to other motorists: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 04, 2019
(TMZ)
 
 
 
"Young and the Restless" soap star Kristoff St. John found dead but they'll figure out a way to bring him back if the ratings start to suffer
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dog watches man rob house of $14k; cops blur dog's face to hide his shame
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Police respond to kid selling hot chocolate, and it has a twist, no mention of little marshmallows
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Have you herd about the inmate who escaped during processing? He hoofed it all the way downtown, then cops meat up and shoot him. Udderly miraculous that he survived. OK, I'm just milking it now
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 02, 2019
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
WVU students "gathered on the street and were consuming alcohol, sledding, snowboarding and blocking the roadway." Cops arrived with a plow, pepper balls, smoke bombs, and LRAD. Luckily, violence ceased before situation escalated to hockey
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Because of course alcohol was a factor in those cops' game of Russian Roulette
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 01, 2019
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Cops find man passed out drunk in pickup with two kids after he crashed into parked BMW at McDonald's after hours. Decency ensues. "[E]mployees ... gave the two young girls anything they wanted to eat ... stuffed their Happy Meals with toys"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 31, 2019
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Bus driver proves value of public transport by halting vehicle on overpass, stopping suicidal teen from jumping. "I hooked her leg and her arm and I said, 'Please don't, please don't,' and I got her down, and I held her until the cops got there"
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Looks like the real cookie monster was the Girl Scouts' troop leader
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Cops looking for person who dropped off feral kitten in a have-a-heart trap outside of an office building during a snowstorm. With pics of kitten that knows exactly who it was and has elaborate revenge planned
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 30, 2019
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
In what is surely a sign of the end times there are a group of people on the internet who want to fark Venom that are fighting with the people who want to fark Ted Bundy
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 29, 2019
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
Police look for thieves who stole 160 lengths of railway iron. Cops now determined to follow the tracks
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 28, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for attacking wife with a Taco Bell burrito, said he missed the grenade delivery earlier this morning
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
♬ People always told me be careful what you do / Don't go around throwing rocks at cars / Mama always told me be careful what you post / Don't Tweet it like a fool, 'cause the cops will come for you, hey-ey / Stupid teens are caught rock throwers...♬
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 27, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops: Pill thief thought he stole prescription opioids. Actually swiped over-the-counter laxatives
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 26, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Wife and sister of NHL star take plea in piano bar brawl. Did it start because the beer B♭
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 25, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fremont cops use a Tesla for a patrol car because: A) It's faster than your car. B) It's faster than everyone else's car. C) Gas is expensive
source: electrek.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 24, 2019
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
You know it's a bad hair day when the cops get called
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 23, 2019
(Metro)
 
 
 
"During Wednesday morning's press conference, one reporter raised eyebrows by asking if women had also been DNA tested on suspicion of being the baby's mother"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
In the midnight hour, he cried "Horse, horse, horse"
source: amp.fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 22, 2019
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Whataloser
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 18, 2019
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Sometimes, when your ceiling-based burglary spree through four stores is doomed to failure, you drink the liquor you stole and fall asleep until the cops show up
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man killed by hit and run driver just blocks from his home. Well, if they know where the driver lives, why don't they go arrest him?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 17, 2019
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Calling all Farkers. Police department looking for volunteers to help train officers in administering sobriety tests. All you have to do is drink
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Veterinarian student who took donated elderly, disabled horses from owners to her "rescue farm" arrested after cops found she sold them to slaughterhouse instead. Schlachthof fünf
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 14, 2019
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Fugitive leaves 'I'm not here' message on mattress while playing hide-and-seek with cops
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after snatching four Rolex watches
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 13, 2019
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Ex police officer cops neighbor's FedEx packages, felonies ensue
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 10, 2019
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
If you go dumpster diving in front of 'No Trespassing' signs, expect the cops to subscribe to your YouTube channel
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Teen girls throw fit, start hurling heavy objects at employees when told they're too old for McDonald's PlayPlace. Here's a tip: If you can hurl heavy objects, you ARE too old for McDonald's PlayPlace
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 08, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
The police, unlike the Alabama defense to Clemson, stopped a woman on the football field during the National Championship Game
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
On tonight's special "Cops" and "Cheaters" crossover event, you'll never guess what happens next
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Kevin Spacey pulled over for speeding on his way home from court
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 07, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
No Hoagies, No Peace
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man denies owning syringes found in his rectum during jail strip search
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 04, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
During the winter, check your car weekly for the level of antifreeze in the radiator. During a bitter divorce, check your drinks daily for the level of antifreeze in the glass
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 03, 2019
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Have you ever been at a wedding where someone decided to speak now and not hold their peace? These people have. Objecters include a maid of honor who was sleeping with the groom and a guy who saw the perfect opportunity to step out of the closet
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NYPD comes to rescue of Lexington cops who watched Krispy Kreme doughnut truck burn. "Hang tight, we are sending backup forthwith, and these guys came prepared. We hope you like sprinkles"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 02, 2019
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When did McDonald's start serving knuckle sandwiches?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
He smelled the fish
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Apparently, in Queens, the cops have a problem with you beating someone to death for trying to force their way into your home
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 01, 2019
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego cops are able to tell your sexual orientation just by looking at you
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 25, 2018
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Existing-while-black trifecta in play courtesy of HotelEarl
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 24, 2018
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Neighbor's blaring music at 3:30 in the morning, do you A) Ask them to turn it down 3) Slash his car tires IV) Smash his door down and demolish his stereo or X) Bake him a cake
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 23, 2018
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year Voting - Final Round - ENTERTAINMENT - Voting remains open until noon (EST) tomorrow, Monday December 24
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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