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Headlines matching 'cops'
Sat February 11, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo) PSA "The 10 Cities You Don't Want to Drive in." #1- New York City- like anybody besides cabbies, cops, and the FED-EX guy who destroyed your monitor drive there  (autos.yahoo.com) (97)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Great Falls Tribune) Dumbass If you ever drop your weed by the side of the road let it go, because man, it's gone, and the cops will find the methadone, opiates and benzodiazepines in your car and bloodstream when they stop to see what you're looking for  (greatfallstribune.com) (33)
(The Sun) Amusing Yeah...about that 'micro pig' you sold me  (thesun.co.uk) (66)
(Some Guy) Asinine Angry dad de-lifes couple for defriending his daughter on Facebook  (charlotte.cbslocal.com) (145)


Wed February 08, 2012
(NBC Bay Area) Spiffy You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed  (nbcbayarea.com) (62)
(Local10) Florida Man returns to house to find squatters with drugs, grenades, and since this is Florida and not New York, a pig  (local10.com) (35)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Ars Technica) Fail Journalist arrested for "resisting arrest" has his video of incident deleted by Miami PD, however the cops didn't know the difference between deleted and tomb-stoned  (arstechnica.com) (221)
(My Fox DC) Strange Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to climb a bronze statue of George Washington riding a horse and sit in the saddle for 45 minutes before the cops get him down  (myfoxdc.com) (12)


Sat February 04, 2012
(NYPost) Asinine Having solved all other crimes, Staten Island cops now cracking down on the evil malcontents who park outside the lines  (nypost.com) (98)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Sure, we've all sped when we were running late for work. It's just that most of us didn't have weed and meth on us, nor did we decide to start a fight with the cops who stopped us  (dailycommercial.com) (10)


Thu February 02, 2012
(SeattlePI) Dumbass Woman caught after high speed chase through Seattle in stolen cherry picker tells cops it was always on her bucket list  (seattlepi.com) (11)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Fox News) Unlikely Police seize 1500 pounds of pot from NY apartment, estimate its street value at $7.5 million. Dude, $5000 a pound? In New York? Must have been some crappy stuff  (foxnews.com) (56)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Demon Ocracy) Scary Wondering just how large the Euro debt problem is? This frightening infographic shows you using 18-wheelers packed with 100 Euro notes  (demonocracy.info) (142)
(TC Palm) Florida When having an amorous encounter with your mistress, check first to make sure your wife is not also in the room. That way you can avoid getting strangled and having the cops show up. With pics  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (47)


Mon January 30, 2012
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Baffled homeowner finds man on his porch at 2:30 AM screaming that his house is possessed. Creepy red-eyed pig refuses comment  (tampabay.com) (50)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Daily Kos) Asinine As Occupy Oakland protesters storm city hall the Oakland cops roll out the tank..wtf a tank ? really?  (dailykos.com) (395)


Sat January 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Standing on top of your sister's car and stripping naked isn't the most effective way to prevent cops from arresting your sister for hit and run w/sfw pics  (pattayamail.com) (47)
(Detroit Free Press) Interesting In preparation for the game on Sunday, SF cops will dress like assholes  (freep.com) (69)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Independent) Ironic Cops discover marijuana farm after exhaustive search just yards from the police station  (independent.co.uk) (35)


Thu January 19, 2012
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Man: "Yeah, so, an unknown assailant totally shot me." Cops: "..." Man: "Okay, I shot myself"  (mcall.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Dumbass When running from the cops, do you: c) run a red light and crash into some other guy wanted for running from the police?  (hermistonherald.com) (13)
(STV.tv) Stupid Help, the babysitter's drunk: Three-year-old calls the cops after woman looking after him downs a bottle of wine  (news.stv.tv) (20)
(Some Guy) Sappy Cops responding to 911 call from animal shelter find puppy named Tennille chewing alarm wires. Puppy adopted by another cop. Bonus: Puppy's brother is named Captain  (duluthnewstribune.com) (40)
(MLive.com) Fail Hiding under the bed didn't work when you tried it on your parents, let's see how it does against the cops  (mlive.com) (16)


Wed January 18, 2012
(STV.tv) Fail Even if Jesus is your co-pilot, cops will still fine you for reading your Bible and driving at the same time  (news.stv.tv) (14)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Cops in uniform caught meeting up in empty parking lot and playing football. (with pics) Some people have a problem with this  (13wmaz.com) (83)
(WWL) Fail Cousins go to house to smoke pot, the guy that tagged along discovers a stash of guns, opens fire on occupants with their own guns, owner returns fire but is killed, police give chase, car crashes, cops shoot all three. The Aristocrats  (wwl.com) (94)


Thu January 12, 2012
(IndyStar) Asinine Cops. It's what's for dinner  (indystar.com) (67)
(BBC) Followup Three arrested over Comber murder. Cops say the scene was hairy  (bbc.co.uk) (11)
(WFTV) Florida Casey Anthony says her computer was hacked. Cops tell her they'll begin searching for suspects in about 31 days  (wftv.com) (137)


Wed January 11, 2012
(USA Today) Stupid There's been a huge rise in the number of civilians killed or wounded by gunfire as a result of quasi-military police raids, which is naturally leading police to question the tactic. Fark: Because cops might get hurt, too  (usatoday.com) (133)


Mon January 09, 2012
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Cops arrest a 25-year-old for writing, 'Justice Equals Liberty' on a sidewalk. In chalk. "Obviously, he had to be stopped"  (orlandosentinel.com) (100)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Oregon Live) Interesting Awesome: You're pinned under a 3,200 pound car after a bike accident and firefighters use brute strength to lift it off of you. Sucks to be you: Cops then ticket you for unlawful lane change and improper use of lane  (oregonlive.com) (169)
(The Macomb Daily) Amusing Those evil bastards ... Man calls cops, suspects Al Qaeda putting subliminal messages in his porn  (macombdaily.com) (36)


Thu January 05, 2012
(MSNBC) Weird "Cops: Colorado woman punches, rubs her buttocks against $30 million painting." Everybody's a critic  (msnbc.msn.com) (43)


Wed January 04, 2012
(AZCentral) Asinine Cops pulls a woman over for speeding and offers to take her out on a date to make up for the $132 ticket he's about to give her  (azcentral.com) (116)


Tue January 03, 2012
(Daily Mail) Asinine Five-year-old girl has overdue books. Library: A) Sends a letter asking for it to be returned, B) sends an e-mail, or C) sends the cops to the girl's house  (dailymail.co.uk) (123)


Sat December 31, 2011
(Canoe) Dumbass "Hello, 911? I've just been run over...no, I don't need an ambulance, just the police...no, it was just a shopping cart that ran over my foot - I'd like the cops to arrest the woman who did it"  (cnews.canoe.ca) (70)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Boston Herald) Interesting Missing drug evidence points to rogue cop. In other news, there are a lot of rogue cops in Massachusetts. In other other news, police departments are not allowed to test officers for drug use  (bostonherald.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Stupid After armed robbery and two shootings, cops are asking: Do you recognise this butt cleavage?  (couriermail.com.au) (43)


Thu December 22, 2011
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Man punches three bar patrons in the face after getting booed off stage during karaoke. He's singing "In the Jailhouse Now"  (thesmokinggun.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you are pulled over at 2:30am for driving drunk, the most plausible explanation to give the cops is: A) Your house is only a mile from the bar, B) You really had to go, or C) You were taking the deer in your trunk to the hospital  (democratandchronicle.com) (24)


Tue December 20, 2011
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Man steals mannequin from Sears. NOTHING'S GONNA STOP HIM NOW... except for the cops  (mcall.com) (35)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Seattle Times) Strange If you're the only employee working at a pet food shop and you've got five pounds of pot stashed there, don't take a nap on the job just in case a customer comes in and gets so worried he calls the cops  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Fail There once was a prostitution sting in Limerick, the men did expose their prick, many were deposed, the cops names did expose, but none were funny as the article's use of "bone banging reality"  (independent.ie) (146)


Sun December 18, 2011
(NJ.com) Obvious Even the cops still haven't figured out that all the 13 year-old girls in internet chat rooms are cops  (nj.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Amusing "As you can see from the video, he's not the most skillful burglar"  (miami.cbslocal.com) (72)


Sat December 17, 2011
(Beatcalls) Stupid The same laws of motion that govern spitting out the car window while driving apply to throwing pot out the car window while the cops are chasing you (w/ pic)  (beatcalls.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Florida Another redneck BBQ explodes as neighborhood is treated to flying ribs  (baynews9.com) (58)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Short List) Unlikely Hey, honey? You know that CCTV snapshot of a middle aged man that looks like me, in my car, squeezing that college student's boob? Yeah... Photoshopped by the cops  (shortlist.com) (68)
(WWL) Dumbass If you suspect a neighborhood kid of stealing from your vehicle, a sure-fire way of getting the cops' interest is to chase the kid into his own home, kick down the front door, and then wave around a stolen shotgun at everyone  (wwl.com) (19)


Sun December 11, 2011
(The Daily Beast) Scary Cops think nearly-decapitated man's killer may have been one of his online gaming opponents; currently looking to question "C0N0R M4CLE0D"  (thedailybeast.com) (44)


Thu December 08, 2011
(UPI) Strange Man wears Chewbacca mask during shooting, cops assign case to their new wookie  (upi.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Silly You might have too much bling on your vehicle if the cops ban you from driving for being a hazard to other drivers  (dailymail.co.uk) (49)


Wed December 07, 2011
(TwinCities.com) Amusing Signs on your car that might attract cops: Exhibit A  (twincities.com) (105)
(KnoxNews) Stupid Two cops playing with their guns late at night suffer premature discharge, destroying another man's hard sausage. What a load of baloney  (knoxnews.com) (46)


Tue December 06, 2011
(SLTrib) Amusing If your cell phone falls in the dog's water bowl and dies, it's a good idea to let someone know about it before the cops start the helicopter searches for your body  (sltrib.com) (49)


Mon December 05, 2011
(Some Guy) Cool Tired of getting ripped off, Sacramento church uses latest technology to nab copper thieves. Well, maybe not the latest, but the mug shots are worth it  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (55)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Protip: No matter how much you insist, cops won't accept the "cocaine is legal tender" excuse  (nwfdailynews.com) (9)


Sun December 04, 2011
(Herald Tribune) Florida Smoking crack, passing counterfeit money, smacking up juvies, spitting on arrestees, cracking heads open -- just another day in the life of corrupt untouchable cops in the great state of Florida  (heraldtribune.com) (148)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man caught lurking in the trees dressed all in black with a hooded sweatshirt and armed with a flashlight and a machete and nursing a spider bite tells cops he was walking to the store to buy his lady some smokes  (nwfdailynews.com) (38)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Some Guy) Strange Occupy Boston protesters trying to winterize their encampment have brought everything but the kitchen sink, and only because the cops confiscated that  (boston.cbslocal.com) (256)


Fri December 02, 2011
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida You know you've found a special girlfriend if she parks her car in the intersection to have sex with you, refuses to put her clothes back on when the cops tell her to, and then pees on the sidewalk of the woman who called the cops on you  (nwfdailynews.com) (42)


Thu December 01, 2011
(The Smoking Gun) Fail Georgia cops break up bondage fetishists having sex in the woods. Cruel deputy punishes the couple by not putting them in handcuffs  (thesmokinggun.com) (26)


Wed November 30, 2011
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Protip: If you were involved in a fatal hit and run, and got away with it, don't call the cops on your boyfriend and try to have him arrested. It never works out well  (tampabay.com) (30)


Mon November 28, 2011
(TC Palm) Florida Florida man accused of shooting a lawn mower and brawling with his son tells cops, "Fighting is what redneck people do." Cops concede that, but say blasting a riding mower with a .380 pistol crosses the line  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (54)
(CBS 4 Denver) Ironic Stop me if you've heard this one before: Deaf man arrested for noise complaint, held for 25 days while cops find an interpreter  (denver.cbslocal.com) (74)


Sat November 26, 2011
(Daily Mail) Fail ♫ Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul, 'til the cops, alas, came and beat his ass, and then threw him in the hole..... ♪  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)


Thu November 24, 2011
(Boing Boing) Asinine Cops use stun gun to protect society from a 61-year-old disabled bicyclist who's hard of hearing  (boingboing.net) (252)


Wed November 23, 2011
(TC Palm) Florida Woman says she has salmon in her purse because she's taking it upstream to spawn. Cops call her story fishy  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (20)


Sat November 19, 2011
(Daily Mail) Asinine Not news: Man arrested and shoved to the ground by cops at Occupy Wall St. after protesting use of police force. News: He's a retired Philadelphia police captain in full uniform  (dailymail.co.uk) (550)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Some Guy) Fail Rule #3 of robbing someone's house. Try not lo leave yourself logged into Facebook, your car running in the driveway, AND your parole card in your wallet on the seat (3 Likes - 2 Comments)  (atlanta.cbslocal.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Sad Father of the Year candidate leaves 13-year-old daughter holding 50 bags of crack as he escapes from police  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Interesting The holiday season is officially here now that cops have made their first arrest of someone carrying gift-wrapped packages of marijuana  (kitsapsun.com) (45)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Dumbass Man places signs reading "Car Bomb" and "50-Foot Clearance I.E.D." on woman's car. Cops don't appreciate his sense of vigilance  (ajc.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Strange Even the President of the United States can't stop copper thieves from looting. No, not Obama. Abraham Lincoln  (wsiltv.com) (60)


Wed November 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Fail Handcuffed woman gives cops the slip. Twice  (saljournal.com) (19)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Police arrrest Chinese mine boss after he fakes being trapped. Cops afraid that after a quick release he may go underground  (dailymail.co.uk) (6)
(wsbtv) Dumbass Teen gets stuck in chimney while trying to break into house. Cops say it's very common during the flue season  (wsbtv.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Dumbass We need a price check on a copper thief at Checkout 2  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (16)


Sun November 13, 2011
(South Bay Easy Reader) Dumbass Cops say con artist claimed she owned modeling agency, was related to NASCAR's Rick Hendrick. Cops knew she was lying when they put her on a small jet & nothing happened  (easyreadernews.com) (25)
(Some Nut) Obvious Cops sack naked man in nut tree  (digitalspy.com) (18)
(The Times of India) Scary "3 cops jump off train to nab suspect, land in hospital." THAT is an impressive jump  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (16)


Fri November 11, 2011
(gold coast) Strange Australian police search for topless woman driving erratically, causing accidents. Dozens of cops hoping to be in on the bust  (goldcoast.com.au) (15)


Thu November 10, 2011
(The Smoking Gun) Scary Everclear-fueled Tennessee woman cuts up her first cousin with scissors because she doesn't want to be his "booty call," but rather wants a real relationship with him. Cue up the banjo  (thesmokinggun.com) (114)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Cat swinger sought by cops  (inquisitr.com) (34)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Protip: If you jump into a river in hopes of avoiding being caught by the cops, it helps if you know how to swim  (sun-sentinel.com) (21)


Mon November 07, 2011
(The Smoking Gun) Fail Florida man whose girlfriend announced her intention to break up with him does the logical thing: tries to commit suicide with Flintstone's vitamins  (thesmokinggun.com) (62)


Fri November 04, 2011
(MLive.com) Asinine When cops find missing man, he was so cold that he could no longer walk. So they cite him for trespassing because he collapsed on private property  (mlive.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Florida If the cops are going to raid a strip joint, you would think they would have the man-to-man courtesy and let a customer finish getting his lap dance before breaking down the door  (newsherald.com) (22)


Thu November 03, 2011
(New York Daily News) Strange Cops turn to Facebook to bust a machete-wielding madman who attacked two in a chicken shack  (nydailynews.com) (35)
(CBC) Obvious Man leads Canadian cops in five-hour pursuit where "neither the truck driver nor police broke highway speed limits"  (cbc.ca) (33)


Tue November 01, 2011
(Mercury News) Obvious 3 cops, 1 pole  (mercurynews.com) (18)


Mon October 31, 2011
(SacBee) Dumbass If you manage to sneak past the cops and firemen who respond to the burglar alarm you just set off, it might be a wise choice not to decide at that moment to play with the lights and sirens on the pretty fire truck  (blogs.sacbee.com) (24)


Sat October 29, 2011
(Some Guy) Florida Woman tries to skin her dad after he refuses to give her his potato salad. If that doesn't tell you how pissed she was, her mugshot surely will  (tampa.cbslocal.com) (123)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Here's a couple of suggestions when the cops come looking for your child porn: Don't have it scrolling on your computer, and don't answer the door naked  (wlwt.com) (35)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Dumbass Woman calls 911 because a deer was limping in her backyard. Gets upset when cops kill it and take it home for dinner  (cbsatlanta.com) (166)


Thu October 27, 2011
(Bangor Daily News) Dumbass Man repeatedly calls 911 from down the street from his house, claiming to be lost and demanding a ride. Cops are happy to oblige  (bangordailynews.com) (11)
(Denver Post) Fail Your girlfriend comes home early at the same time another girl you met on Craigslist arrives at your apartment. Do you: C) Call the cops to report a burglary in progress?  (denverpost.com) (41)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Fox News) Amusing Fark: Female driver drives her car into her neighbor's yard. Double Fark: Gets stuck and calls 911. Ultra Fark: She's five and tells the cops to hurry up 'cuz her mom will be "pissed" at her  (video.foxnews.com) (49)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Cops stop you as you walk down the street and ask if you have any drugs on you. The wrong thing to say is: A) I need a lawyer? B) I need a lawyer? C) I need a lawyer? D) Just less than an ounce of weed?  (nwfdailynews.com) (61)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Some Guy) Florida Woman gets arrested for stealing a cash register with only a quarter in it, faces charges of grand theft and burglary. And this folks, is why we have the Florida tag  (nbcmiami.com) (40)


Sat October 22, 2011
(The Sun) Weird Man cooks cut of ham, only to discover that it's in the shape of a pig. This must be some kind of omen  (thesun.co.uk) (60)


Fri October 21, 2011
(TC Palm) Florida New Jersey man arrested in coffee house rampage after ripping off shirt and spewing espresso. Cops suggest decaf  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (18)


Tue October 18, 2011
(C|Net) Spiffy If you plan on being a part of the Occupy Wall Street movement, you need this app that lets you quickly alert your family, friends, and lawyers that the cops have arrested you  (download.cnet.com) (95)
(MSNBC) Fail PROTIP: When you run your car into the ditch and the cops ask you how much you had to drink, don't answer "two pizzas". Oh, and lose the heroin while you're at it  (msnbc.msn.com) (22)


Mon October 17, 2011
(TC Palm) Florida Man who ate stolen ice cream sandwich pulled from pants complains the cops who arrested him lacked "Good Humor"  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (20)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Some Guy) Weird Man cuts off his arm, severs the hand, and hides the pieces in his house  (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) (34)
(SFGate) Unlikely San Francisco man pulls gun on cops in the Tenderloin district. Cops respond by pumping 10 rounds into suspect. Just kidding, they tackled him instead. No, really, that's what they really did  (blog.sfgate.com) (65)

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