Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Liam Gallagher blasts U2, Coldplay, and their non-existent fans. The non-existent fans that have made both artists some of the top-selling musicians of all time  (gigwise.com)	(39)

Today's Fark-Ready headline "Sleeping man shocked after cold man jumps into bed"  (news.yahoo.com)

(45)

It turns out Jupiter's Giant Red Spot is really a very complicated, very cold storm  (wired.com)

(39)

You may have the blues if your woman is cold, but Sonny Boy Williamson's is Nine Below Zero  (youtube.com)

(10)

		Tampa the coldest it's been since poodle skirts were in style. With pic of what a poodle skirt may look like  (tampabay.com)	(99)
		In honor of Tone Loc's birthday, the dumbest Irish-alternative version of "Funky Cold Medina" you'll hear in the next four minutes or so  (youtube.com)	(20)

(Chronicle of Higher Ed)

The story of the rainbow trout in America, the government welfare fish that muscled its way into the nation's coldwater streams  (chronicle.com)

(111)

(NME)

The greatest music producer working today, Brian Eno, confirms he's working with Coldplay, one of the greatest bands recording today, on their next inevitably great album  (nme.com)

(51)

(Slashfood)

A cold January in Florida is causing "tomato outages" at Burger King. With pic of the hard, green fruits being harvested  (slashfood.com)

(123)

(Alertnet)

Scientist believe more science ($$$) is needed to determine why previous scientific evidence was wrong about the settled science of Global Warming. Science  (alertnet.org)

(310)

Mirai Nagasu's nose bled at the end of her Olympic figure skating routine last night: was it the cold air, time travel, cocaine or Tonya Harding? An investigation ensued  (tv.gawker.com)

(25)

The University of Alabama in Huntsville shooter may have booby-trapped the science building with a "herpes bomb." Now, that's just cold (sore)  (nytimes.com)

(138)

Rumor has it that the next Call of Duty is set during the Cold War. No word on whether there's a mission where you get to have a summit with Khrushchev all hopped up on goofballs or not  (kotaku.com)

(80)

(Some Guy)

EMI is so desperate that they're selling off their most prized possession (no, not Coldplay): Abbey Road Studios  (twentyfourbit.com)

(57)

Sad: Man, unemployed for a year, builds igloo to live in. Fark: Has cable, surround sound and plenty of ice cold beer  (cleveland.com)

(123)

Kelly Osbourne in a skintight leather dress. You'd expect something more like "Margaret Thatcher on a cold day", but she actually doesn't look bad  (starpulse.com)

(101)

Problem: Jessica Alba is cold. Solution: you have enough jacket for both of you. Problem: your wife now wants to know why it wasn't offered to her  (dailymail.co.uk)

(45)

(Climateprogress)

Despite the localized "cold snap" and the most profound solar minimum in a century, the Earth experienced the hottest January recorded by satellite. Manbearpig  (climateprogress.org)

(162)

		The Northeast is locked in by snow. The Midwest is too cold. And the South is too sober. So cheer up with Mike, Crow, and Servo as the tackle Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, starring the wonderful Ernest Borgnine and an evil monkey  (video.google.com)	(24)
(Some Guy)		In the beginning there were three chords and a synthesizer: A short history of Cold Wave  (dummymag.com)	(16)

Dean Winchester: one of the greatest philosopher-heroes of our time, or a guy who just really loves hot chicks and cold beer?  (io9.com)

(45)

Jazz up this cold train  (spiegel.de)

(44)

Greyhound security guard kicks stranded grandmother out into the cold when she talks to reporters about the company's poor treatment of customers. That'll learn her  (wmctv.com)

(135)

(Some Guy)

You think it's cold today? In 1780 it was so cold that the British were able to drag cannons from Manhattan to Staten Island across a frozen NY harbor and deserters walked across the ice from Long Island to Connecticut  (cuppacafe.com)

(31)

Cold kills your mom in record numbers  (msnbc.msn.com)

(45)

Cold-blooded killer is icing snowmen in England  (examiner.com)

(36)

Crack open a cold one and celebrate: Sunday is the 75th birthday of canned beer  (news.yahoo.com)

(173)

(KTHV)		North Dakota City skips a day on new calendar. Printer defends error, says January is the coldest month of the year and having one day less works for him. Well, okay  (todaysthv.com)	(52)
		Not news: Customer doesn't tip and complains pizza is cold. News: Guy then punches delivery guy, fracturing his skull. Fark: "My husband is in jail for no reason and that is not right"  (suntimes.com)	(374)

		Brian Eno on producing U2 and Coldplay: "I was paranoid that I might end up with the same basic track for each group and I wouldn't notice until it was too late"  (guardian.co.uk)	(33)
		Minnesota-Dallas. New York-San Diego. Grab the couch and your favorite cold brew, it's time for your Divisional Playoffs thread, Sunday edition  (sports-ak.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		Whitney Houston kept out the cold in her new velvet and fur coaWHOA...WTF IS THAT?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(36)

You know what, I don't care what you say, they're a decent band and this is a good song. Yeah, it's Coldplay with "Yellow"  (youtube.com)

(75)

Errors and lies thrive in cold weather. Or, climate is not weather, dumbass  (newscientist.com)

(131)

Coldplay sued by yet another musician who claims they have stolen three of his songs. Please form an orderly queue behind Joe Satriani and Cat Stevens  (tmz.com)

(16)

		In the winter of 1983, Russia's Vostok research station in Antarctica reached -128.6°F, the coldest temperature ever recorded. Scientists finally figure out how it happened  (livescience.com)	(76)
		Actor Channing Tatum burns the skin off his penis on cold film set, marking his most injurious act since appearing in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra  (contactmusic.com)	(43)

		Did you hear the one about the day the weather got so cold, the turtles crawled out of the ocean to go home and warm up?  (caller.com)	(57)
		You must be a cold-hearted big-business shill if you object to the latest hard-earned union benefit: paid time off when the temperature at work dips below an intolerably frigid 68  (nytimes.com)	(253)

Honey, it's cold in here. Could you please put the grill in the living room and fire it up?  (tampabay.com)

(113)

		After finding a 26% increase in Arctic ice since 2007, UN scientists trying to save face say Earth is now in a "cold mode" and will be until further notice  (dailymail.co.uk)	(262)
		Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, New Order, Coldplay and David Bowie get their own stamps. If you lick the Rolling Stones one, you can't drive or operate heavy machinery for at least two days    (rollingstone.com)	(28)

(Some Guy)		Some Texas city mayor opens cold weather shelter for pets for this recent arctic cold front, is having police cite owners for cruelty if any pets seen left chained outside at this time  (valleycentral.com)	(226)
		Europe's current cold snap is so severe, that even the Norwegians-the ancestors of the people that voluntarily migrated to Minnesota-are complaining  (news.yahoo.com)	(223)
		Belief in global warming drops from 71% to just 57% in a year. Something about record cold winters and mild summers the past two years may have something to do with it  (news.yahoo.com)	(901)
(Some Weather Guy)		News: Frosty feline found frozen. Fark: Kitteh recovers in time for Caturday  (www1.whdh.com)	(lots)
(Weather.com)		Cold weather in parts of Florida causes strange items to seemingly fall from the sky: iguanas (video)  (weather.com)	(34)

Having sex twice a week reduces chance of heart attack by half - unless her husband walks in on you  (telegraph.co.uk)

(124)

(Some guy)		Record number of deaths blamed on cold stress. Oh, the chill manatees  (news-journalonline.com)	(17)
(justnews.com)		"I knew of a gentleman who was collecting them off the street... and all of a sudden these things are coming alive, crawling on his back and almost caused a wreck." Yeah, it's frozen iguana season again  (justnews.com)	(66)

(Some Guy)		Ancient lake-beds discovered on Mars. Ancient Loch-Ness monster soon to follow  (spacefellowship.com)	(20)
		Group of penguins gets photobombed by anonymous seal, one penguin heard asking "Does anybody even know that guy?"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(168)
		Friday it will probably be colder in Houston than McMurdo Station in Antarctica  (chron.com)	(243)

(Some Guy)		Global warming is blasting the US with colder than normal weather  (accuweather.com)	(218)
		The cold winter has apparently not effected the orange harvest. Consumers can expect orange juice prices to fall. Where in the hell is Beeks?    (bloomberg.com)	(59)

(NME)

Coldplay raises over $400,000 for charity with their eBay auction of rare band memorabilia. They can probably raise even more if they threaten to disclose the names of people who bought said merchandise  (nme.com)

(14)

		Nebraska band can't travel to their bowl game tonight because of bad weather. High school band from Lincoln, already in San Diego, gets the call, has one day to learn fight song  (omaha.com)	(83)
		Norway solves MRSA problem- by stopping rampant overuse of antibiotics. But you of course should be sure your snowflake takes his antibiotics for that little scratch on his knee  (physorg.com)	(102)

(NME)		The most-played song of the decade in Britain? Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars," which was released in 2006. At least it wasn't Coldplay  (nme.com)	(42)
		New Johnny Cash album due out in February. Early reviews describe music as stiff, cold and haunting    (blogs.tennessean.com)	(44)

(Some Guy)

Not News: Student punished for sneaking out of school. News: Student's punishment is standing outside in the cold. Fark: Principal goes drinking and leaves student to die  (chinadaily.com.cn)

(149)

Woman to walk away from a house she can afford because it's a bad investment. "I hate to sound cold and uncaring and contract-breaking, but I'm really OK with it."  (npr.org)

(242)

		The coldest pictures you'll see all day--shots of the recent snowstorms around the world. Subby's favorite: #21, snow-covered gondolas in Venice  (boston.com)	(119)
		NRO has finally gone too far - they have insulted Jean Luc Picard: "[TNG's] messages are unabashedly liberal ones of the early post-Cold War era - peace, tolerance, due process, progress." And they mean that in a bad way  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(500)
		Cold weather, no doubt caused by global warming, kills 90 in Europe. Severe snowstorms cause havoc in U.S Midwest. Canadians buy extra socks  (cbc.ca)	(335)

Police: Foreigner behind Auschwitz sign theft, must have been cold as ice to commit such a crime, play head games with authorities  (ajc.com)

(95)

		"Sewers are only meant to take away water, toilet tissue and poo. Turkey fat is a big 'no no' because it blocks drains and results in sewage flooding into people's homes which is just horrible" (w/ music video)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(33)
(Some Guy)		British Crimestoppers hotline staff "gobsmacked" by flood of bizarre calls linked to recent cold weather, from people complaining about drunken mall Santas to an obscene snowman "which featured an extra carrot"  (24dash.com)	(42)
		Nerdgasm alert: An in-depth analysis of that video showing Earth with Saturn's rings  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(31)

Titan wets itself, winks knowingly  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

(41)

Chilliest place in the Solar System ever measured by spacecraft found on the Moon, eclipsing the previous record held by your ex's cold, dark heart  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(115)

After shooting ice-cold 0 for 9 from the field, Trevor Ariza ejected for dirty elbow swing against opponent. Make that 0 for 10  (barenucks.com)

(39)

		December is the darkest month of the year, but it isn't the coldest. Here's why, and not because Warmers faked the historical data on that too  (slate.com)	(90)
		After being told the Cold War ended in 1991, Britain considers scrapping their ballistic missile submarines to save money  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(45)
		Attention stargazers: Your next opportunity to stand in the cold for an hour or two and see nothing is Sunday night  (science.nasa.gov)	(32)

		You can't get an H1N1 shot because ... (shakes magic 8 ball) ... it's too cold to ship it anywhere  (wcco.com)	(49)
		Coldplay is auctioning off a decade's worth of music memorabilia for charity. Guess they don't want to be associated with their gold and platinum records either  (contactmusic.com)	(10)

(KING-5)

Slow news day in Seattle upgraded from "It's farking cold outside" to "Bovine trapped in frozen creek"  (king5.com)

(183)

		Denver ignores physical laws, is now colder than absolute zero  (9news.com)	(167)
		"Oh no. My windshield is busted...That's okay, I'll use this cardboard...Oh no. Now I can't see...That's okay, I'll just stick my head out the window...Oh no. My eyes are frozen shut...Now I REALLY can't see"  (metro.co.uk)	(66)

If you don't want to walk home in the cold, you could take a bus, or a cab, or even hitchhike. But for Fark's sake, don't carjack an off-duty cop. We guarantee you'll be sorry  (cbs2chicago.com)

(38)

Study shows that just because it's getting colder, it doesn't mean it really getting colder. It just means it's getting colder - for now. Colder  (breitbart.com)

(97)

(Some Guy)		Listen my children and you shall hear: the midnight ride of the mystery meth tweeker of good cheer  (deathby1000papercuts.com)	(25)
		Senate Democrats seek to strip protection for citizen journalism from press shield law  (hotair.com)	(163)

Titan's lakes don't migrate with the seasons. But you stopped reading this headline after the first three letters  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

(29)

Man digs up wife's corpse just for hugs  (news.scotsman.com)

(82)

		The letter coldly outlined the parents' choices: start paying rent or we throw your children in the trash or use them for medical experiments  (boston.com)	(99)
		♫ ♪ I'm a Rocketman, ditching through the clouds into the sea. And I think it's gonna be a long long swim ♫ ♪  (stuff.co.nz)	(26)
		As Thanksgiving as Detroit Lions football, a big crackling turkey with all the fixings, and cold turkey sandwiches at 10:00 PM, it's Arlo Guthrie singing "Alice's Restaurant"  (youtube.com)	(18)

Hannity: This is one of the coldest years on record, so global warming is a hoax. Science: This is one of the warmest years on record, so Hannity is a douche  (feeds.mediamatters.org)

(lots)

At her signing Monday night, Rihanna kept hundreds of fans waiting for hours out in the cold rain under their umbrella-ella-ellas  (abc2news.com)

(31)

(AllAfrica)

Three hajj pilgrims die of some funky cold in Medina    (allafrica.com)

(43)

Funny, subby's cold-as-a-fish ex-wife is also named Wendy. I hope this doesn't get greenlit  (time.com)

(191)