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Headlines matching 'cap'
Sun May 27, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(SacBee) Obvious Yelpers to restaurateurs: If you give me a gift card, a free meal, or window seating, I won't give you a bad review. Capisce?  (sacbee.com) (75)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Washington Post) Interesting While we're railing against Bain Capital and their private equity deals, why not have a discussion on Obama's public equity deals?  (washingtonpost.com) (173)
(The Raw Story) Asinine In a move guaranteed to create no controversy, Republican lawmakers are requesting the installation of taxpayer-supported security cameras to watch over a bust of Rush Limbaugh in the Missouri Capitol building  (rawstory.com) (135)
(Deadspin) Spiffy Marlins RF Giancarlo Stanton almost decapitated Marlins 1B Logan Morrison after Morrison apparently tried to cutoff Stanton's throw to home (with amazing "The Matrix" video of Morrison dodging the throw)  (deadspin.com) (21)
(BBC) Amusing Fugitive penguin recaptured in Tokyo. Keepers are keen to return it to the Sea Life Park, but on the other hand they've already mixed up 200 pounds of batter for penguin tempura  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption what this poor kid is thinking (kinda Not safe for work: old man ass)  (oddstuffmagazine.com) (55)


Thu May 24, 2012
(MSNBC) Amusing Darth Vader robs bank, escapes on TIEcycle  (msnbc.msn.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you're planning to hide out in the library to burn books after hours, make sure you have an escape route so you don't have to call 9-1-1 after you light them  (wiod.com) (59)
(Spiegel) Interesting Non-genetic study finds Germans genetically incapable of enjoying life. Here comes the hyperbole  (spiegel.de) (67)
(TSN) Fail Winless team captures Canadian soccer championship  (tsn.ca) (49)
(Washington Post) Strange DC's Capital Bikeshare is a program in which bicycles are made available for shared use to muggers who do not own them  (washingtonpost.com) (55)


Wed May 23, 2012
(Wired) Cool Coolest live video feed from the Dragon capsule as it passes the ISS, You'll see at 11:30pm PDT  (wired.com) (18)
(Yahoo) Amusing Romney: My record at Bain Capital shows I can manage the economy. Obama: Okay, let's look closely at that record. Romney: Why is Obama trying to distract from the REAL issues of the election by talking about Bain Capital?  (news.yahoo.com) (76)
(Rolling Stone) Caption Caption what Jack White is writing on this dude's arm  (rollingstone.com) (66)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Washington City Paper) Scary You're the nation's capital. How do you dispose of personnel files? A) Retain, then dispose of securely, B) Retain indefinitely, or C) Cram an abanoned car full & set it on fire. And some dumpsters. At the fire academy  (washingtoncitypaper.com) (16)
(Comedy Central) Caption Caption this taxi flagger. Warning: pic is not safe for lunch  (tosh.comedycentral.com) (67)
(Politico) Hero Candidate promises to smoke a joint on the steps of Capitol Hill to draw attention to the, uh..., the, uh...yeah...the thing. That thing thing there that he was talking about. You know, that thing  (politico.com) (54)
(Outside) Hero Climbing duo bags Yosemite's Triple Crown--El Capitan, Half Dome, and Mt. Watkins. And they do it free--using ropes only for safety. Oh, and they do it in less than 24 hours, including travel time between routes  (outsideonline.com) (59)


Mon May 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Lincoln at The Capitol  (shorpy.com) (29)
(Celebslam) Amusing "Anyone chosen to screen test with Leonardo DiCaprio will have to play the scene in the nude." The smartest man in show business, ladies and gentlemen  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (53)
(Celebslam) Asinine Kourtney Kardashian parks in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (74)


Sat May 19, 2012
(Huffington Post) Asinine "Captain, we're going to take a look in your pilot's case." "OK, let's see. Nav charts, gun, log book." "How long have you been flying with the gun?" "Oh, at least two days"  (huffingtonpost.com) (52)
(Huffington Post) Strange Famous straight actor slaps obscure gay reporter for attempted sexual overture and it's captured on camera ... our culture will still be parsing this fifty years from now  (huffingtonpost.com) (55)
(STLToday) Dumbass According to Captain Johnson, the "Beavis and Butt-head duo" has been arrested for a series of arson fires. Captain Johnson uh, huh huh  (stltoday.com) (17)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida High school goes on lockdown because: a) a nearby bank was robbed; b) a tiger escaped from a local zoo; or c) a food fight broke out in the cafeteria  (sun-sentinel.com) (20)


Fri May 18, 2012
(LiveLeak) Scary Waterspout captured on film. Difficulty: Down town Hong Kong  (liveleak.com) (12)
(Some Guy) Ironic The sex-tourism capital of the world protests Lady Gaga's shows as too provocative. Wait, what?  (abclocal.go.com) (47)
(The Sun) Strange Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the quikrete. We have the capability to build the world's first living statue  (thesun.co.uk) (27)


Thu May 17, 2012
(ABC) Interesting Romney calls attack ad about a steel mill that Bain Capital closed down "really off target" because they hadn't finished looting the mill until after he left "so that's hardly something that should be on my watch"  (abcnews.go.com) (186)


Wed May 16, 2012
(CNN) Cool New MacBook Pro includes slim design, new retina display. Voight-Kampff testing capabilities still unknown  (cnn.com) (78)
(The Onion) Amusing General Mills gives the Honey Nut Cheerios mascot intense background story of abuse in foster care to try and capture a wider demographic  (theonion.com) (10)
(Fox News) Spiffy Russian satellite captures highest-resolution image of Earth ever. Something must be wrong with this monitor, I can't see America  (foxnews.com) (15)


Tue May 15, 2012
(IGN) Stupid CapCom will re-evaluate how to block on-disc content so they can sell it to you later  (ign.com) (99)
(NBCMiami) Followup How you like that? Miami fire captain demoted for disparaging Facebook post about Trayvon Martin  (nbcmiami.com) (141)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Washington Post) Obvious Dale Hunter steps down as coach of Washington Capitals. Team captain Alex Ovechkin looking forward to playing more than 15 minutes a game  (washingtonpost.com) (43)
(Politico) Interesting Obama releases 2-minute ad on Romney's time at Bain Capital: "They were like a vampire; they came in and sucked the life out of us"  (politico.com) (509)
(BBC) Silly "For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capital's overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life"  (bbc.co.uk) (24)


Sat May 12, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Welcome to the world, Benjamin Holtby. Will the CAPS netminder secure a spot for his team in the NHL Eastern Conference Finals? Or will the Rangers end a 15-year drought? We shall see tonight at 7:30pm ET  (m.nbcwashington.com) (1025)
(Gizmodo) Scary Mini Documentary on the most terrifying drug in the world - it renders a person incapable of exercising free will. You're going to watch it, then tell me your Fark login. [some Not safe for work language]  (gizmodo.com) (154)


Fri May 11, 2012
(io9) Amusing Game of Thrones decapitated Ned Stark dessert pops  (io9.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Amusing Seattle Times greenlit a headline worthy of Fark, but some boring editor pulled it. Screencap in link  (jimromenesko.com) (2)


Thu May 10, 2012
(This Is Total Essex) Scary Video captures water shooting 100ft from burst Essex water main, flooding homes and destroying a car. Location: Running Waters (really), Brentwood, Essex  (thisistotalessex.co.uk) (41)
(Click Orlando) Florida Thief breaks bottle over clerk's head to make his escape. The very same bottle he was trying to abscond with  (clickorlando.com) (12)
(Guardian) Interesting Possibly one of the strangest things that you'll ever witness. William Shatner (Captain Kirk from the Star Trek) to host an episode of a British comedy quiz show  (guardian.co.uk) (58)


Wed May 09, 2012
(NHL) Cool Will tonight be the night we find out if the Eastern Conference Finals will be a 1994 redux, or will the Caps force a Game 7? Your Rangers - Caps Game 6 thread  (nhl.com) (½)
(Daily Star) Amusing Family escape blazing inferno by leaping onto trampoline (with bonus pic of terrified one-year-old)  (dailystar.co.uk) (29)
(YouTube) Cool Crazy Nintendo A Cappella + Beatbox theme song cover  (youtube.com) (10)


Tue May 08, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Man stabs his friend after argument about who can have the most sex. Captain Morgan was involved in this incident, probably in more ways than one  (thesmokinggun.com) (13)
(MSNBC) Strange Nomophobia: the fear of captioned cats? Or something more sinister?  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (21)
(Live Science) Scary Scientists solve mystery of boulders that move when no one's looking. Captain, over here - I found something. AAAAAAAAH  (livescience.com) (33)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Fark) Spiffy Suits are old and boring. Let's come up with a new standard for work (or everyday) attire. Bonus if it includes a cape or fez  (fark.com) (279)
(MSN) Caption Caption what these two billionaires are thinking  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (66)
(CBS News) Sick South Korea seizes a shipment of capsules from China filled with dead baby flesh. What on earth do people want with-no, wait, don't tell me, I'll sleep better at night that way  (cbsnews.com) (234)


Sun May 06, 2012
(AP) Obvious Captain America: "HULK... SMASH BOX OFFICE" Hulk: *grin*  (hosted.ap.org) (599)


Sat May 05, 2012
(Yahoo) Cool How many overtimes will get cut off by old ladies in hats? Eastern Conference action: Rangers/Capitals 12:30 EST  (sports.yahoo.com) (481)
(Spiegel) Interesting Photographer toured East Germany just after the fall of the Berlin Wall taking photos of decayed buildings. Ten years later he took photos again of the same things to show how capitalism revitalized what communism allowed to decay  (spiegel.de) (148)


Thu May 03, 2012
(Larry Brown Sports) Amusing Caps' Karl Alzner gets home after triple-overtime loss to Rangers and finds that his house has been vandalized. With mugshot of two perps caught red-pawed  (larrybrownsports.com) (31)
(SFGate) Stupid Captured documents from the Bin Laden raid revealed plans for a "human lawnmower," which involved ramming a truck outfitted with spinning blades into crowds of people. No word on development of rocket skates or green bat suit  (sfgate.com) (100)
(Telegraph) Amusing The All England Squid Championships ended with only one squid caught. With picture of the captured leviathan  (telegraph.co.uk) (34)
(Fox 5 Atlanta) Dumbass Protip: If your first kidnapping victim gets out of the trunk of your car and escapes, you may want to wait a little more than 30 minutes before trying to kidnap another woman. Just sayin'  (myfoxatlanta.com) (44)


Wed May 02, 2012
(LA Times Photos) Caption Caption this free offer   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (43)
(YouTube) Unlikely Psychic changes the shape of a clooood, er, cloud. For maximum hilarity, turn on the closed captioning  (youtube.com) (56)
(Yahoo) Amusing How bad is Scott Gomez at hockey? The Montreal Canadiens will pay him over $10 million, and reduce their salary cap space by over $3 million, just so he can stop playing for them  (sports.yahoo.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Florida Tampa police Capt. David Goodman said he's glad citizens are being aware of their surroundings and that the pot plant was found before the Republican National Convention  (baynews9.com) (71)
(WPTV) Florida Not News: An analysis of Florida crashes reveals old people are bad drivers. Fark: And are incapable of turning left  (wptv.com) (102)


Tue May 01, 2012
(YouTube) Cool Markers + graph paper + a capella singing = EPIC music video  (youtube.com) (56)
(Celebslam) Interesting Britney Spears in the cheap buffet capital of the world? Gee, what could possibly go wrong?  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (46)
(Washington Post) Asinine Google identifies WiFi scandal scapegoat  (washingtonpost.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Not news: Geek who never missed a day of school since kindergarten is graduating soon, valedictorian, and wants to study engineering. Fark: She's also captain of the cheerleading team, and yes, there's a photo  (westhawaiitoday.com) (240)


Mon April 30, 2012
(NHL) Amusing Caps at Rangers 7:30 -- Kings at St. Louis 9:00 PM -- Farkers at Drinking... pretty mush all the time. Today's NHL playoff thread  (nhl.com) (664)
(Yahoo) Amusing Borg says EU Needs Tougher Bank Capital Rules, must be assimilated  (finance.yahoo.com) (9)


Sun April 29, 2012
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool The Avengers has already grossed $178 million overseas. Guess the whole world wants to see Captain America throw his mighty shield  (hollywoodreporter.com) (119)
(HelenaIR.com) Sappy Cockatiel escapes home and gets blown miles away in high wind, but skilled bird dog on the scent retrieves it and reunites it with family  (helenair.com) (44)


Sat April 28, 2012
(NASCAR) Cool Tighten your belts for short track Saturday night. It's the Sprint Cup Capital City 400 from Richmond  (nascar.com) (336)
(Daily Mail) Caption Governator pulled over for speeding; caption this conversation  (i.dailymail.co.uk) (82)
(CNN) Spiffy Blind Chinese prisoner Chen Guangcheng escapes house arrest, apparently going unnoticed by pulling fire alarm while his captors ran in circles  (cnn.com) (43)


Fri April 27, 2012
(Telegraph) Misc Astronomers find first planet in the sweet spot of the habitable zone, capable of supporting intelligent life  (telegraph.co.uk) (123)
(I Heart Chaos) Interesting Had Hitler tried to escape Germany at the end of WWII, British intelligence feared he might disguise himself as Jeffrey Tambor  (iheartchaos.com) (66)
(Spaceflight Now) Spiffy US astronaut Dan Burbank & two cosmonauts are returning to Earth from the ISS right now in a Soyuz capsule, live on NASA TV  (spaceflightnow.com) (37)
(LA Times) Fail The number one radio station in Los Angeles, entertainment capital of the world, is... Pandora. Tag is for Clear Channel  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (67)


Thu April 26, 2012
(WISHTV) Amusing Dairy cow escapes. Last seen ordering Happy Meal at the drive through  (wishtv.com) (28)
(NFL) Obvious NFL Pro Bowl to be cancelled, but teams will still honor Pro Bowl incentives. Captured on video, this would make a better 3.5 hours of television  (nfl.com) (56)
(NPR) Obvious Arizona migrant case could lead to sweeping changes. Also dishwashing changes, landscaping changes, and nanny changes  (npr.org) (404)


Wed April 25, 2012
(NHL) Cool It's all or nothing tonight as the Bruins face the Caps on home ice in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals. One shall stand, one shall fall. 7:30PM ET  (nhl.com) (1105)


Tue April 24, 2012
(NJ.com) Sappy Captain's Log, stardate 424.12. Weather permitting, this is the final cruise of the Space Shuttle Enterprise. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of the Intrepid Sea, Space and Air Museum in Manhattan  (nj.com) (78)


Mon April 23, 2012
(Telegraph) Video Dean Potter walks a 130-foot slackline 6,000 feet above windy Chinese gorge--without safety net, harness, or BASE rig--and it's all captured on testicle-shrivelling video. Suck it, Super Bowl slackline dancer  (telegraph.co.uk) (27)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Followup Cynthia McKinney has returned home looking for her old Congressional seat, and is willing to capsize incumbent Hank Johnson to get it  (ajc.com) (52)


Sun April 22, 2012
(Daily Mail) Ironic Cuban actors in a Cuban film about people escaping Cuba for the US, on tour for the US opening defect to the US  (dailymail.co.uk) (100)
(Palm Beach New Times) Scary Everything you need to know about Mitt Romney can be summed up by this article detailing his stint with Bain Capital  (browardpalmbeach.com) (373)


Fri April 20, 2012
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Hero Passenger captures bird strike on tape, milks his 15 minutes of fame  (nbclosangeles.com) (91)


Thu April 19, 2012
(Google) Ironic Norway shooter says his original plan included decapitating the former Prime Minister and posting the video of it online. You know, to make a statement about how barbaric and dangerous Muslims are  (google.com) (77)


Wed April 18, 2012
(Some Pork) Caption Caption this photo of respected politician John McCain  (p.twimg.com) (43)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this awkward intro  (i39.tinypic.com) (63)


Sun April 15, 2012
(USA Today) Fail FCC fines Google $25k for capturing WiFi data with StreetView, roughly half the money Google spends per hour on stocking their campus soda machines. Gosh, I hope they survive this crippling blow  (content.usatoday.com) (49)


Sat April 14, 2012
(Some Critter Guy) Caption Caption these two ugly-assed critters  (pics.livejournal.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Strange Undercover CIA operative, who helped capture Abu Abbas, struck down by a) terrorists, b) friendly fire, or c) deli meat sample  (thewrap.com) (28)


Fri April 13, 2012
(Boing Boing) Fail Skeptic arrested and charged with blasphemy for pointing out a "miracle" was actually a leaky pipe and capillary action at work. See India, this is why you can't have nice things  (boingboing.net) (139)
(Some Scientist) Cool Australian scientists invent true random numbers by splitting beam of light into two beams, measuring the power in each beam, then converting fluctuations into super-fast random number generator. Where's my flux capacitor?  (scientificcomputing.com) (99)
(NHL) Cool How can a Bonus Hockey Hat-trick be topped? By Devils/Panthers finally joining the fray at 7:00, followed by the 4-5 matchups (PIT/PHI, NSH/DET) at 7:30, capped off with VAN/LAK at 10:00 (all times EDT). Day 3. Stanley Cup Playoffs  (nhl.com) (1834)
(Reuters) Dumbass Police officer in trouble after his dashcam captures him discharging his weapon in the squad car  (reuters.com) (73)
(The Sun) Dumbass Disabled man in trouble for trying to overcome his handicap  (thesun.co.uk) (30)
(Omaha World Herald) Spiffy Additions to Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, NE will increase capacity to hold over 90,000 people, or 45,000 Nebraskans  (omaha.com) (45)


Thu April 12, 2012
(NHL) Cool Following last night's preliminary skirmishes, tonight it devolves into open warfare. Sens/Rags @ 7:00, Caps/Bruins @ 7:30, Sharks/Blues @ 7:30, and Blackhawks/Coyotes @ 10:30 (EDT). Day 2 Stanley Cup Playoff Discussion Thread  (nhl.com) (lots)
(Washington Post) Followup Apparently running on the field in Batman underwear and a cape is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT  (washingtonpost.com) (33)


Wed April 11, 2012
(Deadspin) Dumbass Tony Romo the proud father of a bouncing baby boy. With cringe inducing did you REALLY wear a backwards ball cap in the hospital picture  (deadspin.com) (117)
(Outside) Misc Wild parrots are learning English from escaped pet birds, though the Norwegian Blue remains strangely mute on the subject  (outsideonline.com) (82)
(Yahoo) Interesting When asked to reflect of the famous "situation room" photo from the night Bin Laden was killed, Hillary Clinton says neither she, nor Batman, or Captain America "could breathe for about 35 minutes"  (news.yahoo.com) (73)


Tue April 10, 2012
(CNN) Dumbass If you ask George W. Bush what he regrets about his presidency, it isn't the failure to capture or kill Bin Laden, or starting two drawn out wars. No, he regrets his name being attached to some deficit driving tax cuts  (money.cnn.com) (148)
(Yahoo) Followup Syrian casualties include 3 generals, 9 lieutenants, 5 captains, 3 majors, and one very fat colonel who called rebel leader a... "cheeky fellow"  (news.yahoo.com) (101)


Mon April 09, 2012
(Gawker) Stupid George Zimmerman, America's Watch Captain creates a web page to tell his side of the story. Just kidding, please send him money and check out his pictures of a vandalized black cultural center  (gawker.com) (738)
(YouTube) Cool Someone made a video game based on that cool vector graphics flyby scene from "Escape from New York"  (youtube.com) (47)
(AlterNet) Interesting "Authoritarian people have a stronger emotional need for an outlet like Fox, where they can find affirmation and escape factual challenges to their beliefs"  (alternet.org) (329)


Sat April 07, 2012
(Daily Mail) Fail Nothing encapsulates Easter better than Courtney Stodden wearing stripper shoes, bunny ears and carrying a basket of eggs  (dailymail.co.uk) (119)


Fri April 06, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious "There was indication that he was going to arm himself with a firearm if he heard attending sirens, which leads us to believe he wasn't functioning at the level he was capable of," says EMT  (660news.com) (10)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Deadline) Hero Captain America will return to throw his mighty shield on 3 April 2014  (deadline.com) (90)
(WFTV) Florida Monkey escapes from gas station, police put a tail on him  (wftv.com) (67)


Tue April 03, 2012
(WISHTV) Sick In a gesture of disrespect to Caturday, man found "playing baseball" with heads of decapitated cats after setting aunt's house on fire  (wishtv.com) (57)
(Daily Mail) Caption Caption Michelle Obama and Taylor Swift's loving embrace  (i.dailymail.co.uk) (103)


Sun April 01, 2012
(io9) Cool Minimalist Doctor Who posters capture each character with one object & one catch phrase  (karmaorange.com) (43)
(LA Times Photos) Caption Caption this entangled man   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (20)
(Duluth News Tribune) Obvious Jesus Christ, you're not going to escape the police by wading across Lake Superior  (duluthnewstribune.com) (32)


Sat March 31, 2012
(The New York Times) Hero When you escape from a communist regime to America in a plane you built, you deserve a man cave as awesome as this  (nytimes.com) (40)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Robert A Heinlein would be so proud: Company developing "evacuated tube technology", a frictionless, mag-lev rail system that will carry passengers all over the world in capsules travelling 4,000 mph  (gizmag.com) (124)


Thu March 29, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Meet the drunken Canadian man who is responsible for the greatest a capella version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" ever recorded in the back of a police cruiser  (thesmokinggun.com) (92)
(Some Subway Guy) Caption Caption this distraught commuter  (28.media.tumblr.com) (39)
(Wired) Spiffy Astronomers estimate roughly 40% of all red dwarf star systems may contain Earth-like planets capable of supporting life. Smegheads  (wired.com) (68)


Wed March 28, 2012
(The Consumerist) Stupid Atheist orders custom Capitol One card with a red "A" on it. It's rejected, since they don't allow "religious imagery." Except, of course, for any of the pre-approved Jesus images available in their online gallery  (consumerist.com) (283)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Cool GE opens hundred-year-old time capsule encased in one of its building's cornerstones, finds at least one working light bulb, a book of technical info...and hey, look, a frog with a little top hat and cane  (cleveland.com) (137)
(96.1 Kiss) Sad Michigan boy gets pet pig taken away due to city law, news cameras are there to capture his tears and one of the greatest child mullets ever seen  (961kiss.com) (119)
(The Atlantic) Caption Caption this produce player  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (25)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Herald Sun) Fail In-flight entertainment: Our captain forgot to take his meds and will be running up and down the aisles raving about "bombs" and "al-Qaida", ensure your seats are in the up-right position and your trays are folded away  (heraldsun.com.au) (121)
(Daily Mail) Hero High-class Spanish hookers refuse to service bankers until they open up lines of credit to cash-strapped families. Viva el capitalismo  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)


Mon March 26, 2012
(Discover) Cool Amateur astronomer tries to take a photo of Mars and a passing satellite, ends up capturing the birth of a supernova (w/pic)  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (47)
(ESPN) Sad Cowboys and 'Skins file grievance for cap hit; having two of the most incompetent owners in the history of pro sports  (espn.go.com) (189)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Bend, Oregon is America's new capital of beer tourism, thanks to thirst of skiers, rock climbers, river rafters, and other extreme drinkers  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (100)


Sun March 25, 2012
(Independent) Amusing Thousands of New Agers head for the mother ship to escape the coming apocalypse. Yeah it's a mountain, but you've got to believe  (independent.co.uk) (133)


Sat March 24, 2012
(Rolling Stone) Caption I have no idea what you're talking about, so caption this picture of Barry Manilow, Marilyn Manson, and Lana Del Rey  (assets.rollingstone.com) (53)


Fri March 23, 2012
(SFGate) Video Largest ship in North America, the MS Fabiola, a 1200' container ship capable of carrying 12,500 containers, 50 miles of them if laid end to end, with her crew of 21 has just entered San Francisco Bay. And you are there  (sfgate.com) (104)


Wed March 21, 2012
(The Sun) Cool Doctor Who's new companion revealed. Even the TARDIS can't escape The Sun  (thesun.co.uk) (130)


Tue March 20, 2012
(MSN) Caption Caption these two well dressed young ladies just strolling along the street minding their own business  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (107)
(Orlando Sentinel) Spiffy Tired of the same old Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, and Goofy? How about watching Spider-Man, Captain America, and Wolverine kicking the Seven Dwarves' asses instead?  (orlandosentinel.com) (41)
(Some Radio Guy) Sick So, think you're reached your capacity for outrage with the Roman Catholic Church already?  (rnw.nl) (94)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Florida's governor expected to sign a bill doubling and tripling fines for parking illegally in handicap spaces, which in Florida will impact no one at all  (sun-sentinel.com) (74)


Sun March 18, 2012
(HelenaIR.com) Weird Bigfoot is alive and well and plays viola for the local symphony, and once a year you can hunt him under the full moon--where you may also capture a couple of Rainiers. Yes, this was thought up by a bunch of Stoners  (helenair.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Sad Mother: A) robs a convenience store, B) escapes in a stolen car, C) does so with her one-year old kid strapped in securely, D) kicks out the back window of a police cruiser, E) begs you to click on the photo to suck you into the insanity  (ksl.com) (38)


Sat March 17, 2012
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Sarah Palin has a secret plan to capture the White House and we'll see who's laughing then smart guy  (huffingtonpost.com) (284)


Thu March 15, 2012
(WTAM) Obvious Capistrano has its returning swallows. Alaska has the humpback whales. Cleveland has...turkey vultures  (wtam.com) (58)
(News.com.au) Strange Pope commissions fragrance that faithfully captures his personality and theological outlook. Eau de REALLY did Nazi this coming  (news.com.au) (25)
(BusinessWeek) Followup Goldman Sachs loses $2.2 billion market cap after NYT Op-Ed piece  (businessweek.com) (184)
(Yahoo) Followup Truly a day to wipe away what could have been a messy battle: The great toilet paper crisis in New Jersey's capital city is over  (ca.news.yahoo.com) (28)


Wed March 14, 2012
(CNN) Followup Alabama woman that made her 9 year old granddaughter run until she died for eating a piece of chocolate has been charged with capital murder. Prosecutors will seek the death penalty  (cnn.com) (436)
(Science Daily) Interesting Increasing your exercise capacity, Luke? Increasing my exercise capacity, Boss  (sciencedaily.com) (31)
(TechEBlog) Cool The coolest images of the southern lights captured from the ISS you will see all week  (techeblog.com) (6)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Gizmodo) Cool HA HA. Now I make my escape  (gizmodo.com) (23)
(ESPN) Fail NFL cuts $36 Million from Redskins 2012 salary cap due to questionable accounting in 2010 that gave them an unfair advantage, illustrated by their 6-10 record and dominant last-place division finish  (espn.go.com) (130)


Sat March 10, 2012
(wkyt-tv) Cool Seven different home surveillance cameras capture the West Liberty, KY tornado, without CB radio dialogue  (wkyt.com) (32)


Fri March 09, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting Apollo test capsule ready for its next mission. This is not a repeat from the 1960s  (msnbc.msn.com) (18)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Silly Shatner travels the galaxy to meet his fellow starship captains. Of course he meets Bakula on a horse  (blogs.suntimes.com) (80)


Thu March 08, 2012
(National Geographic) Cool James Cameron looks to set deep dive record, recover DiCaprio's body  (news.nationalgeographic.com) (21)
(Topless Robot) Cool The fifteen nerdiest Saturday Night Live skits. Say what you will, but Love Boat: The Next Generation starring Captain Jean-Luc Picard could have worked  (toplessrobot.com) (31)


Wed March 07, 2012
(NPR) Interesting The most beautifully serene collection of photographed landscapes you'll see today. In your nightmares tonight, too, after you realize that someone died in every single one of them  (npr.org) (114)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy Captain Jack Harkness lands in 1895, this fall on ABC  (insidetv.ew.com) (38)
(Daily Record (UK)) Weird Badass three-year-old escapes from daycare after scaling seven foot tall spiked fence, making plans for next year's conquest of K2  (dailyrecord.co.uk) (55)
(Some Time Traveller) Amusing Don't wait until tomorrow, here's a recap of the iPad 3 event, 12 hours early  (business.financialpost.com) (54)


Tue March 06, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Spiffy It's do or die for Romney, Santorum, the fat troll, and the old guy with the big ears as Super Tuesday is here. So grab your capes, power rings, and golden lassos for the Super Tuesday Discussion Thread  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (lots)
(Some Guy) Fail While advertisers are fleeing Rush Limbaugh, Missouri is giving him his own statue in the state capitol  (aflcio.org) (174)


Mon March 05, 2012
(BBC) Amusing Penguin escapes in Tokyo. Where's Batman when you need him?  (bbc.co.uk) (35)


Sun March 04, 2012
(WTKR) Hero U.S. Navy, Coast Guard ships rescue Iranian sailor after ship capsizes. This is not a repeat from the last 4 times they've done this  (wtkr.com) (93)
(ESPN) Asinine Rondo puts up an 18-17-20 in a Celtics victory over the Knicks. But you're totally right, Danny, you should definitely be trying to trade him and his cap-friendly contract  (espn.go.com) (60)
(Some Crocus pic) Advice Time for a garden thread. Who's got crocus already? Strarted your seeds yet? Any major landscaping projects lined up?  (i222.photobucket.com) (284)


Fri March 02, 2012
(Bangor Daily News) Sick Come to Maine for the skiing, the beautiful landscapes, all the wildlife, and a dose of the winter vomiting disease  (bangordailynews.com) (83)
(TSN) Fail Price leads Montreal to comeback victory, with beauty save to clinch shootout win. Just kidding, they blew a three-goal lead with under four minutes left escaping with the W after Setoguchi tripped and fell on Minnesota's final shot  (tsn.ca) (68)
(The Raw Story) Spiffy Capitalism  (rawstory.com) (52)


Thu March 01, 2012
(io9) Interesting The good news: "Warp speed" travel is theoretically possible. The bad news: You would annihilate everything at your point of destination. "Captain's log, stardate 9522.6: Oops"  (io9.com) (108)


Wed February 29, 2012
(YouTube) Spiffy Only Mal can rescue Clark Kent. Or is it... Only the Green Lantern can rescue Joe Hackett? Or maybe... Only Lex Luthor can save Capt. Hammer and Superman?  (youtube.com) (11)
(Huffington Post) Amusing In Finland, there's not a lot to do in the winter except drink and look out at the winter landscape. Which explains the popularity of their hottest new sport  (huffingtonpost.com) (83)
(BBC) Spiffy Will a new coach and a new captain lead England over the Netherlands? Will France surrender to Germany? Will Mexico and Colombia turn into a shootout? Can the USA find victory over the Azzurri? This is your international soccer discussion thread  (bbc.co.uk) (155)


Tue February 28, 2012
(BBC) Obvious China seeks new one child slogans after public object to "Kill all your family if you don't follow the rule" and, "If you escape, we'll hunt you down; if you want to hang yourself, we'll give you the rope"  (bbc.co.uk) (48)


Mon February 27, 2012
(WTSP) Dumbass Protip: If you're a burglar, hiding in a pile of laundry may hamper your escape  (wtsp.com) (20)
(Globe and Mail) Amusing An Oscar slideshow with refreshingly GREAT captions  (theglobeandmail.com) (42)


Sun February 26, 2012
(LA Times) Fail TSA once again captures a dangerous terrorist. Just kidding. They left a metal detector unmanned and had to shut down a terminal  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (46)
(Fark) Caption Caption theme: Twitter posts from founding fathers  (fark.com) (90)


Fri February 24, 2012
(Buzzfeed) Strange What kind of Pepsi? We have ice cream Pepsi, cappuccino Pepsi, mojito Pepsi, yogurt Pepsi, cucumber Pepsi, sweet bean Pepsi, strawberry-milk Pepsi... You want me to keep going?  (buzzfeed.com) (99)
(Crooks & Liars) Interesting The Fox Effect and how it shapes the media landscape. Today's lesson: Gas prices  (crooksandliars.com) (134)
(WPTV) Florida When a 14-year-old girl finds you naked and bent over in her pantry looking for a bottle of spiced rum, you're either in a Captain Morgan commercial or Florida  (wptv.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Amusing "14.4k modems are on the way out and 28.8 is in. I'd tend toward 28.8 for about an extra $100, but a 14.4 is pretty quick and will capably handle email." And you thought you Comcast connection was bad   (therelativelyinterestingblog.blogspot.com) (118)
(The New York Times) Fail Romney: The car companies should have been bailed out by private capital instead of the government. Former car czar: Uh, we talked to every single possible private financer and nobody wanted any part of it  (nytimes.com) (177)
(YouTube) Cool Man born with polio finds dancing with crutches to be no handicap  (youtube.com) (12)


Thu February 23, 2012
(Fox 4 KC) Hero Woman with brass ovaries captures rapist running from the scene by pretending to help him get away  (fox4kc.com) (54)
(Yahoo) Video Chin up, Caps fans. Mathieu Perreault passes the eye test and shows a real nose for the goal as he scores with his face  (sports.yahoo.com) (37)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Palm Beach Post) Followup Man who came up with 23-page plan to kidnap his former girlfriend and try to trick her into reconciling with him declared mentally incompetent. Captain Obvious shocked  (palmbeachpost.com) (14)
(WTSP) Florida Senate rival says Connie Mack IV is the "Charlie Sheen of Florida politics." That explains the tiger blood and warlock cape  (wtsp.com) (12)
(Buzzfeed) Amusing Will Smith playing Nintendo in a backwards hat, on a zebra rug, wearing Nike Airs and Zubaz pants, with a Mariah Carey CD on the ground--and 47 other pictures that perfectly capture the 90s  (buzzfeed.com) (152)
(CBS News) Sad Four more people who couldn't run as fast as an Italian sea captain found  (cbsnews.com) (56)


Tue February 21, 2012
(ESPN) Weird Your team's owner may suck, but at least he's not debuting a 17-year-old as the team captain and then suspending the coach for questioning it  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (15)
(Politico) Unlikely Romney campaign spent more than twice as much cash as it raised last month, may become target for takeover by Bain Capital  (politico.com) (62)


Mon February 20, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Police searching for man who attempted to rob drugstore: 5'6" 130lb black male wearing dark grey, hooded sweatshirt, black shorts, a blue knit cap, two prosthetic legs  (939mia.com) (58)
(Short List) Obvious Turns out that men incapable of controlling their bladders are deemed capable of controlling who wins Oscars  (shortlist.com) (44)


Sun February 19, 2012
(Fark) Survey Does Anyone Else Get Annoyed With Incorrect Capitalization?  (fark.com) (213)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Scary FBI foils a plot by a man to bomb U.S. capitol. Arrested him as he was on the way to the building, with a vest full of what he thought were explosives   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (296)
(Business News Daily) Amusing Business advice from one of the most successful businessmen out there: Al Capone  (businessnewsdaily.com) (14)
(Air Australia FAQ) Sad With Air Australia bankrupt, how will Australians escape their miserable continent? Bonus: Link goes to the said airline's bankruptcy FAQ, perhaps the douchiest document ever conceived  (airaustralia.com) (72)


Thu February 16, 2012
(KATU) Stupid If you can think of something to do with 20,000 cubic yards of smashed bottles, the recycling capital of the US would like to talk to you  (katu.com) (89)


Wed February 15, 2012
(BBC) Followup Iranian Thai bombers captured. Mossad targets Bevel Lemelisk for assassination  (bbc.co.uk) (158)


Tue February 14, 2012
(MSN) Caption Caption this newly married couple's last few seconds on earth  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (90)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Some Guy) Silly Real comic book nerds know Shazam isn't the character's name, it's the magic word Billy Batson says to turn into Captain Marvel. Real comic book nerds are now wrong  (newsarama.com) (113)


Sun February 12, 2012
(News.com.au) Scary This is your captain speaking...HELP  (news.com.au) (41)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Some Virginal Guy) Amusing Captain Picard, meet the Doctor. Doctor, meet Captain Picard  (blastr.com) (75)
(NBC 10) Amusing Fan of British sitcom "Red Dwarf" escapes Philadelphia Police custody. Last seen wearing handcuffs and green jumpsuit. Answers to "Smeghead"  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (89)
(Jalopnik) Fail The lack of a stainless steel body, Flux Capacitor, and time circuits are a dealbreaker  (jalopnik.com) (11)
(Daily Mail) Caption Caption this picture of Ahnold and Sly  (i.dailymail.co.uk) (44)


Thu February 09, 2012
(The Onion) Amusing Brain dead teen, capable of only rolling eyes and texting, to be euthanized  (theonion.com) (19)
(Boston.com) Spiffy For the first time in over 300 years England once again has a Prince of Wales who is capable of leading a charge of armored cavalry- AIR Cavalry that is  (boston.com) (109)
(WTSP) Amusing The judge found Alan Berger voluntarily signed up for the beer-drinking game of beer pong, and couldn't sue Wicked Willy. The judge said Berger "consumed alcohol to the point of diminished capacity"  (wtsp.com) (23)
(Digital Trends) Spiffy 32-megajoule railgun has been delivered to the Navy, is capable of launching a projectile with the force of a 64,000 lb truck travelling at 100MPH. No mention of how many Rhode Islands this translates into  (digitaltrends.com) (262)
(MSNBC) Obvious Mexico wants to be less decapitatey, more touristy  (itineraries.msnbc.msn.com) (77)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Fabio Capello resigns as England soccer coach. Who would have thought an Italian would leave a sinking ship?  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons  (orlandosentinel.com) (25)
(wistv.com) Cool Bank of America has achieved the pinnacle of capitalism. They can repossess your property, foreclose on your home, and now they can kill you without repercussion. Bow to your corporate overlords and pay tribute so that they may let you live  (wistv.com) (116)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Yahoo) Caption Caption the President getting tough with a marshmallow cannon  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Gizmodo) Asinine Heroes: How elite special forces armed to their teeth busted into Kim Dotcom's family mansion to capture two kids, one baby, two Filipino nannies, a woman and one clumsy meganerd  (gizmodo.com) (53)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Unlikely Elderly South Dakota man driving in fog accidentally escapes to Minnesota  (startribune.com) (50)


Fri February 03, 2012
(YouTube) Video Lego Captain America... wtf did I just watch?  (youtube.com) (28)


Thu February 02, 2012
(The Sun) Cool Disabled artist paints beautiful landscapes with his mouth. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (36)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Slate) Obvious KILL THE CAPS LOCK KEY... and four other modest proposals for improving the contemporary computer keyboard  (slate.com) (176)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Residents of Buffalo NY found to buy most lottery tickets in the nation as desperate residents try anything to escape the city  (marketwatch.com) (9)
(E! Online) Dumbass After a rough night at Quark's, Captain Sisko beamed to jail for taking the helm of the Defiant while drunk  (eonline.com) (59)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Imgur) Caption Caption this inter-species communication  (i.imgur.com) (65)
(WXYZ Detroit) Strange Man in clown costume robs convenience store, seen escaping in small car with 15 to 20 accomplices  (wxyz.com) (43)
(maine squash league) Spiffy Maine Squash League celebrates making the main page of FARK with a full page capture of the historic event  (mainesquashleague.com) (1)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Washington Post) Obvious Rick Santorum: We need to cap medical malpractice awards to $250,000. World: Didn't you file a $500,000 malpractice suit against your wife's chiropractor in 1999? Santorum: That was different  (washingtonpost.com) (216)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Yahoo) Obvious By the end of the game, a capacity crowd of 18,809 was singing, "We Don't Give A Damn For the Whole State of Michigan"  (rivals.yahoo.com) (30)

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