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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Some Guy)		A high school student who stopped some students from bullying a mentally disabled student on the bus is A) Thanked by the school. B) Honored by the school. C) Banned from the bus  (opposingviews.com)	(47)
(detroit news)		Businesses across U.S. grounded by critical helium shortage. You submitted this with a higher-pitched headline  (detroitnews.com)	(41)
		Ridley Scott is such a sci-fi badass he was scheduled to design the Daleks but he was busy that week  (independent.co.uk)	(22)
		Will Men In Black 3's worldwide box office success lead to Ghostbusters 3 after all?  (denofgeek.com)	(45)
		At least there's one good thing that can be said about the economy. The black market organ business is booming  (rawstory.com)	(36)

		Obama is a big meanie, just like his mom. Also like George W. Bush, John Lovitz, and all the cool kids  (thedailybeast.com)	(92)
		The King's cars sweep the front row, while Danica Patrick and Kurt Busch race the start-and-park crowd. Your racing trifecta ends with the Coca-Cola 600, live from Charlotte at 5:30PM ET on Fox  (nascar.com)	(1097)
		Romney: "Obama is 'naive' for saying exactly when we're leaving Afghanistan." Leon Panetta: "Uhm, 50 NATO nations, President Obama and President Bush all agree that you're an idiot"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(160)
		They don't make them like this anymore: Fifteen unexpected summer movie blockbusters. Well, they still make them like Blair Witch Project, but that was a fluke  (hitfix.com)	(78)
		Florida saved 61 children from death by abuse and neglect.... by narrowing its definitions of abuse and neglect  (miamiherald.com)	(36)

		Like many inventors, the man who patented the egg cartoon was no match for sharp lawyers and big business. His story is scrambled in a slide show. So get crackin'  (theglobeandmail.com)	(24)
		You'd probably squawk, too, if some government busybody named your kids "Archie" and "Juliette"  (upi.com)	(17)

In a move guaranteed to create no controversy, Republican lawmakers are requesting the installation of taxpayer-supported security cameras to watch over a bust of Rush Limbaugh in the Missouri Capitol building  (rawstory.com)

(135)

		Old and busted: Low-carb junk food. New hotness: Gluten free junk food  (abcnews.go.com)	(176)
		Rep. Peter King (R-NY) is concerned upcoming film about the death of bin Laden will be too pro-Obama and not give proper credit to Bush's tax cuts and Sarah Palin's bear rug  (breitbart.com)	(197)
		Mitt Romney speaks to a group of Hispanic businessmen and politicians. When asked about immigration, his Avoidance Subroutine kicked in  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(71)
		Australian reporter to Australian politician: How do the poor secure meetings with you? Politician: Well, you know, business leaders are paying $25 grand  (abc.net.au)	(31)
		Kids, the bus is here  (buffalonews.com)	(37)
		Lawyers for 9/11 defendants argue that a fair, impartial trial is impossible after Bush and Obama spent the last 11 years calling them "terrorists" in the national media. This is what happens when you let terrorists have lawyers  (google.com)	(87)

		Old and busted: Facebook profile timeline. New hotness: Timeline of Facebook's IPO - from investor exuberance to congressional investigations   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(19)
(TSP)		"Jimmy, I think the school bus is here to pick you up"  (thestarpress.com)	(33)
		A three-year-old boy drove his toy motorbike to a busy downtown street in an east China city, ignorant of the danger. A local police officer spotted the kid timely and led him down the street  (eitb.com)	(26)
(Steve Weaver Aircraft)		A niche in the aviation business: flying with the newly dead. "Oh, no need to sit up, sir, we haven't landed yet"  (steveweaver.com)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Conservatives are notable for their kindness and tolerance and, like Jesus, do not engage in verbal abuse of their critics, according to noted human behavioral expert Bryan Fischer  (rightwingwatch.org)	(27)
		Super hot Olympic hurdler can't find a boyfriend because she's a virgin..submitter too busy staring at pics to think up witty headline..PICS I said..glorious glorious pics  (dailymail.co.uk)	(264)
		Barack Obama's SAT scores may have been lower than George W. Bush's. Maybe. Possibly. Perhaps. Almost definitely could have been  (breitbart.com)	(209)

		Old-and-busted: Hitting back-to-back homers. New hotness: Catching back-to-back homers  (nydailynews.com)	(6)
(The dailymash)		Being business-friendly isn't just about ignoring massive tax avoidance and asset-stripping. It also means selling the freedom of every man, woman and child in the country  (thedailymash.co.uk)	(13)
		Old and busted: Reaper Drones New Hotness: BlimpKites  (upi.com)	(12)

		Old and busted: Silicone breast implant. New hotness: Gummy bear breast implant. Coming up next (subby hopes): Bacon breast implant  (abcnews.go.com)	(57)
(NBC Miami)		Quick fix for a soccer tournament PR nightmare: Distract from human rights abuse charges with an "oracle hog"  (nbcmiami.com)	(28)
		Was this hockey coach a devil in disguise? Dainius Zubrus of NJ Devils says Ivan Pravilov didn't abuse him, but others say he was a monster  (articles.philly.com)	(15)
		Bowling with the Mythbusters  (youtube.com)	(27)
		"Anyone chosen to screen test with Leonardo DiCaprio will have to play the scene in the nude." The smartest man in show business, ladies and gentlemen  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(53)
		So how's your privately owned prison business doing, Carl? Really? That good? Uh, you may want to check your voice mail, Carl. Just sayin'  (chicagotribune.com)	(35)
		The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-Man, Prometheus: which blockbuster has given the most footage away in trailers? Turns out it's not actually Prometheus  (denofgeek.com)	(33)

		Japanese officials to small NJ town: "We'd be much obliged if you'd tear down your memorial to abused 'comfort women' of WWII." NJ town: "How about 'NO'... and btw, welcome to the Streisand Effect"  (japantoday.com)	(198)
		Woman injured as rock smashes into bus window. This tragedy could have been avoided if she had paper  (kmov.com)	(14)

(LEX18)		Businessman buys $200,000 worth of merchandise at closing Kmart store, donates it all to local county community services and also rents them a warehouse to keep it in  (lex18.com)	(49)
		Cop attempts to bust a clam bake in a parachute on campus while tour group looks on, documented by a crackhead. THEN it gets funny  (youtube.com)	(27)
		Busy Staples Center in Los Angeles the site of both of today's playoff games with Clippers/Spurs game 3 and Lakers/Thunder game 4. LA Sportsageddon Saturday tips off at 3:30 EDT  (espn.go.com)	(117)
(press republican.com)		Bushytail, a baby squirrel who fell out of his nest, has been adopted - by a feline who recently gave birth to five kittens. While all animals are welcome on Caturday, this is starting to get a little weird  (pressrepublican.com)	(610)

		Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work  (fark.com)	(34)
		US district court judge rules against Obama administration's law that allows the suspension of civil rights and indefinite detention of citizens suspected of terrorism, because that was only okay when Bush was in office  (wnd.com)	(67)

(Washington City Paper)		D.C. Tour Bus Driver: Numbskull tourists always ask for directions to Private Ryan's grave  (washingtoncitypaper.com)	(325)
(Some Guy)		You know how sometimes you're just minding your own business when a Lambourghini pulls over, a horse in a bikini jumps out and someone molests the horse with a rubber glove on a trombone? I hate it when that happens  (dudelol.com)	(61)
		Warren Buffet's Bershire-Hathaway is buying into another dying business. Buggy whip manufacturers rejoice  (finance.yahoo.com)	(29)
		Don't you hate it when the rocks you collected at the beach spontaneously combust...in your pocket?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(71)
		George W. Bush is writing a book on economic growth. That's the joke  (usnews.com)	(215)

		"The Godfather of Go-Go" busts the pearly gates loose  (washingtonpost.com)	(47)
		Mitt Romney awkwardly avoids referring to George W. Bush by name, presumably because his name has been removed from his programming   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(40)
		Old and busted: Obama was born in Kenya. New hotness: Obama's grandfather was a CIA agent who convinced Barack Obama Sr. to marry his daughter to hide the fact that she was impregnated by a 55-year-old communist named Frank Marshall Davis   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(77)
		Pastor busted for watching his flock a little too closely  (thesmokinggun.com)	(47)
		General Mills gives the Honey Nut Cheerios mascot intense background story of abuse in foster care to try and capture a wider demographic  (theonion.com)	(10)
		"Bobby" Jindal attacks Obama saying he has "Never ran a state, never ran a business, never ran a lemonade stand." which is true, unless you count his experience running The UNITED STATES for the last 4 years  (abcnews.go.com)	(217)
		Kurt Busch, who lost his ride at Penske following a series of outbursts last season is fined $50,000, placed on probation following his actions at Darlington. Furthermore, his ride has now been replaced with a 1994 Buick Skylark with no AC  (espn.go.com)	(39)

		George W. Bush: Oh sure, what the hell. "I'm with Mitt Romney"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(111)
(Some Guy)		Don't you just hate it when the neighbors are all up in your business? Especially if you're a burglar and the neighbor is an off-duty cop  (dacula.patch.com)	(7)
		The filibuster is unconstitutional, and the best lawyer in America is suing to get the Supreme Court to abolish it  (washingtonpost.com)	(181)
		Mitt Romney is afraid to say anything about the JP Morgan scandal because he wants people to forget he's a fan of big business   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(58)

Why did hundreds of football fans riot in Istanbul? It's nobody's business but the Turks  (bbc.co.uk)

(16)

		British Olympic officials announce plan to deploy "sonic weapon" that can deliver ear-splitting, agonizing waves of noise to a large crowd. I'm just happy that Fran Drescher is still keeping busy  (thedailybeast.com)	(79)
		All businesses that did not lose $3.2 billion last quarter take a step forward. Not so fast USPS  (reuters.com)	(114)
		There's ordinary dumb. There's "busted for cooking meth" dumb. And then there's "busted for trying to cook meth without even having the right ingredients" dumb  (ajc.com)	(32)

		From the " Maybe we didn't think of our cunning plan all the way through" dept: North Carolina finding the ban on gay marriage is bad for business  (nytimes.com)	(190)
		Harry Reid says that Senate Republicans have abused the filibuster rule so badly that even simple bills can't get passed, also lamenting that he didn't change it back when minority Democrats were abusing the filibuster  (huffingtonpost.com)	(100)
		American Airlines drops highest level of service as passenger treatment now moves from insulting to abusive  (businessweek.com)	(19)

		JP Morgan loses $2 billion. Chief executive says "this is not how we want to run a business"  (latimes.com)	(51)
		Singer hospitalized after banging head on tour bus. That is *SO* metal \m/  (upi.com)	(73)
		Judge rules that if you're operating a medical marijuana-related business and you default on a loan, it's totally cool because marijuana is illegal federally so therefore your loan contract is null and void  (azcentral.com)	(95)
		Old and busted: RON PAUL. New hotness: GARY JOHNSON  (abcnews.go.com)	(84)

(Some Guy)		Old, busted: miniature giant space hamsters. New hotness: miniature giant mammoths  (phys.org)	(16)
		Because everyone knows that Bush was president in 1978  (foxnews.com)	(75)
		Despite what you may have heard from Arsenio Hall, Aubrey O'Day is not a slut. You may go about your business now  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(38)
		You are a convicted sex offender. Released early do you: A) Right the wrongs of the past, B) Start an awareness campaign against sex abuse, or C) fire up some porn on your laptop in a crowded McDonald's?  (wsbtv.com)	(59)
(Some Pot Farmer)		T'aint corn. It's dope. Take a bushel home for the wife  (bnd.com)	(129)

		From now on, when asked a question you don't want to answer, just give a presidential response: "My views on this are evolving.". Bonus: Biden gaffes that make Bush look like a rocket surgeon  (washingtonpost.com)	(265)
		Mack says small businesses squeezed by Nelson. HA-HA  (articles.orlandosentinel.com)	(18)

		Texas is in first place, and California last for: c) doing business  (610wiod.com)	(176)
(Business Insider)		If you throw out the two bad years, under Bush the economy created 130K jobs per month. If you throw out Obama's first year, the economy created 131K jobs per month. It's almost as if the president has no real control over job creation   (articles.businessinsider.com)	(112)
		James Cameron talks Avatar 4. "I'm not interested in developing anything [else]. I'm in the 'Avatar' business. Period"  (hitfix.com)	(139)
		Police use sloppy parking as pretext for drug bust, lose case because parking over the line is not a crime in Maryland  (thenewspaper.com)	(119)
		"A prostitution bust is not something I want on my record," said accounting student Adrian Caesar, 25 - Forgetting how this whole interweb works  (nypost.com)	(80)

You know what they say about a scorned straphanger? Well this one won't get off the crazy bus  (nypost.com)

(28)

(Some Guy)		Get busted for DUI? Now you'll get multiple daily text messages from the judge, ordering you to blow into your cell phone alcohol detector  (foxsanantonio.com)	(94)
		The GOP is trying to roll back protections for abused women. Why? No reason. Apparently they just like pissing you off  (huffingtonpost.com)	(353)
		Two rival bands of college kids prepare to battle with foam swords. The winner is... the bus  (youtube.com)	(49)

		Old and busted: 640k is all the memory anyone will ever need. New hotness: No one wants to watch DVDs on their computer  (theregister.co.uk)	(109)
		Not news: 727 crashes in Mexico. News: Discovery Channel did it. Difficulty: Not Mythbusters   (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(35)
		Old and busted: The Kramer reality tour. New hotness: The Peter Griffin reality tour  (news.yahoo.com)	(24)
		The latest business to abandon Microsoft products for Linux? Microsoft  (arstechnica.com)	(72)
(Jayski)		At Talladega this weekend, NASCAR driver Kurt Bush will drive Ricky Bobby's "ME" scheme from Talladega Nights. LGT photos of car  (jayski.com)	(118)

		Old and busted: Ancient aliens in Egypt. New hotness: Ancient Germans in Egypt  (spiegel.de)	(20)
		10 years, 200 episodes and counting. Why Mythbusters is *STILL* the best nerd show on TV  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(107)
		Father of the year candidate goes to: A man who entered a school bus with his daughter and encouraged her to fight another girl  (pennlive.com)	(59)

		Looking to re-build its scandal-plagued mortgage banking business, Citi decides to hire the former chief executive of Freddie Mac, the only mortgage lender with an even worse reputation than their own  (reuters.com)	(41)
		If Bush had killed bin Laden this is the ad the GOP would have ran  (thedailyshow.com)	(199)
		You get busted celebrating 4/20 day by the DEA. Do they: A) arrest you, B) throw you in a small cell, C) forget about you for five days leaving you to drink your urine to survive, or D) ALL OF THE ABOVE?  (nbcsandiego.com)	(345)

		"After punching a man several times in the face without provocation, Juarez got off the bus and got back on to throw a garbage can"  (big1059.com)	(22)
		GOP on student loans: "We need offsets to pay for this". GOP on Bush tax cut extension: "Offsets? What are those?"  (thehill.com)	(73)
		Life stinks for high school media specialist busted over sock fetish  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(34)

(Some Guy)		You cancel fire insurance for the antique business housed in your candle-lit wooden barn. What could possibly go wrong?  (abc27.com)	(68)
		Actual quote from man held hostage by German Nymphomaniac. He fought back tears to tell them: "I met her on a bus. She invited me back here. It was hell. I can't walk. Please help me"  (thesun.co.uk)	(209)
(Berkeley.edu)		University of California at Berkeley School of Business features their student of the month, Drew Curtis  (newsroom.haas.berkeley.edu)	(0)
		What do former presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush have in common? Their disdain for Jimmy Carter, because he went rogue and conducted foreign policy after leaving office without any authority from the White House  (nypost.com)	(141)
(Some Guy)		"Here's another fact we found out from the state police: troopers don't have any responsibility to inform a business if a sex offender is living in their parking lot"  (wcyb.com)	(28)

		A real-life Norman Bates has been busted for fraud for dressing up like his dead mother for six years and collecting her benefits. But he doesn't believe he's done anything wrong-because he actually believes he is his mother  (newser.com)	(41)
		Old and busted: Spray on tan. New and hot: Roll on tan  (dailymail.co.uk)	(37)
		Old-and-busted: John Titor. New hotness: Seattle attorney Andrew Basiago. Famous photo shows him as a child at the Gettysburg Address  (huffingtonpost.com)	(126)

		Leaders of an insular religious commune are under investigation by authorities for extensive child abuse... in Waco. This is not a repeat from 1993  (wfaa.com)	(184)
		Man busted for parking his truck on the side of the road to sell seafood and regular, strawberry, blackberry and apple-flavored moonshine. Why yes, this did happen in Florida  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(50)
		White tadpole can sing the blues like nobody's business  (youtube.com)	(27)

		Old and busted: Late night debt collection calls. New Hotness: Debt collectors in emergency rooms. Why, yes- there IS a lawsuit already pending  (nytimes.com)	(377)
		Old and busted: House flipping. New and disturbing: Dog flipping  (cbsatlanta.com)	(48)
		Thoughts of bordellos has tongues wagging, businesses lining up for get some. Stiff opposition expected from the usual jagoffs  (torontosun.com)	(20)
(kgw.com)		Instruments stolen from band bus. Authorities warn that the suspects may be prone to violins  (kgw.com)	(68)

		Have trouble telling which draft picks are busts? Here is a guide based on points  (grantland.com)	(40)
		Charlie Sheen's porn star ex offers free breast exam bus. What a country  (now.msn.com)	(39)
		Even Ericsson's CEO doesn't understand why they are still in business  (marketwatch.com)	(7)

(Orlando Predators)		Fark-ready sports headline: "Predators Announce First-Ever Child Abuse Prevention Night"  (orlandopredators.com)	(27)
		Obama is using the same political strategy that lost Bush the election against Clinton in 1992  (foxnews.com)	(144)
		Old and busted: Planking. New teen stupidness: Skywalking  (mnn.com)	(92)
(Some Cheap Guy)		Q: How bad is the housing bust hitting Detroit? A: $500 for a 2 bedroom house bad  (bge-detroit.com)	(63)

		Santa Ana business tests medical marijuana vending machine  (abcnews.go.com)	(26)
(Some Guy)		Getting drunk and crashing into a police Blood Alcohol Testing Van and clipping two patrol cars is no way to drum up business, Miss hospital spokeswoman  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(27)
		The Republican Party's economic platform in 2012: What Bush did, "just updated"  (thinkprogress.org)	(58)
		NRO doesn't want Anders Breivik to face trial because we all need to get over this nasty business as soon as possible. The fact that he was a big fan of several NRO contributors and may mention that in court has no bearing on that opinion  (nationalreview.com)	(233)
		Win/Win: Businesses that publish police mug shots are proliferating online, shaming those with DUI charges or other arrests into spend hundreds of dollars to have their information removed from the sites  (abcnews.go.com)	(81)
		Senator Barack Obama railed about President Bush's abuses of power. President Barack Obama has seen the light  (outsidethebeltway.com)	(75)
		Londoners aren't looking forward to the Olympics due to the increase of traffic, influx of foreigners and opportunist thieves. Submitter can't imagine what a busy, crime riddled London full of foreigners would be like  (guardian.co.uk)	(33)
		Old and busted: Republicans calling Democrats Communists. New hotness: Republicans calling Republicans Communists  (huffingtonpost.com)	(96)

		Yo dawg, I heard you like Ghostbusters  (io9.com)	(42)
(IndyChannel)		Greenland's tourism business is thriving due to tree huggers wanting to watch ice melt. See, this Global Warming™ thing isn't all bad  (theindychannel.com)	(13)
		Matt Damon willing to swap spit with George W Bush...but with no tongue  (dailymail.co.uk)	(23)

Police arrest four businessmen on the always nebulous "scuba diving at night without a license" charge  (philly.com)

(19)

		Obama's anti-business agenda has gotten so bad, CEO pay rose to 380 times average employee income last year  (dailykos.com)	(245)
		Fear of clowns is serious business  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)	(152)
		Old and busted: Paul Ryan accuses defense generals of lying about budget. New hotness: Paul Ryan accuses Catholic bishops of lying about budget  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(105)
(The Advertiser)		Republican House pulls through another bill to cut taxes on businesses. This is not a repeat from 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006  (theadvertiser.com)	(89)

		Vatican cracks down on priests who abuse boys. Just kidding, they are actually pissed about feminist nuns  (bbc.co.uk)	(151)
		Chicken industries will now be doing their own inspections of chickens before they leave the factory. I'm okay with this because big business has never cut safety measures or regulations in the name of profits  (news.yahoo.com)	(98)
		President Obama sits on the bus where Rosa Parks refu-OMG, IS HE GOING BALD?   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(145)
(Business Insider)		Starting in 2015 your car will record every action you take. The government and police will never ever abuse this data or use it for personal reasons. Pinky swear  (businessinsider.com)	(178)
		Judge rules woman who was injured having sex on business trip is entitled to workers' compensation  (news.com.au)	(101)

		Romance between 41-year-old teacher, and his 18-year-old student that was on, then off, is now back on. Charges of abusing another girl cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while  (azcentral.com)	(88)
(ARTnews)		Skulls with encrusted diamonds, the Pope struck by a meteor, nudes with distorted breasts, soiled toys and sheets, ants crawling on a cross. Bad taste is good business in the art world  (artnews.com)	(29)
		Wall Street old-timers complain computerized high speed traders "are taking all the humanity out" of their business. We'd laugh, but we might drop the barrels we're all wearing  (huffingtonpost.com)	(53)

(Some Guy)		HispanicBusiness.com thinks a headline at Los Fark es Muy gracioso  (hispanicbusiness.com)	(0)
		When dealing with a "possessed" baby, do you: A) call Max von Sydow, B) call the Ghostbusters, or C) strip half naked and try to throw the child in the ocean?  (wtsp.com)	(68)
		Knowing your business is ISO9001 certified is so much more important to me than how much I make there  (businessnewsdaily.com)	(39)
		Apparently so many teachers are having sex with their students that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife office has had to start busting pervs  (katu.com)	(47)

		Barney Frank begins process of throwing Obama under the bus  (nationaljournal.com)	(199)
		"Lock up your Obamas, lock up your Bushes, everybody putting bounties on everybody up in here"  (news.yahoo.com)	(73)

While the media was obsessed with #Occupy's antics, the tea party was busy with the -really- freaky shiat: meetings. Going over legislative records, following debates, arguing with each other, preparing candidates. And no drum circles. Ew  (newser.com)

(280)

(Some Guy)

Anonymous hacker busted by A) Confidential informant B) 5 years FBI investigation C) EXIF data from pic of girlfriend's boobies. With nice sorta SFW pic in question  (houston.cbslocal.com)

(79)

Help, an innovative tech company is challenging TV broadcasters failed business model. To the LawyerMobile  (wired.com)

(56)

(Some Guy)		Kirk Cameron honored with bust for his strong commitment to banana design  (heraldtimesonline.com)	(90)
		Old and busted: Gateway drugs. New derpness: Gateway sexual activities  (dailykos.com)	(199)
		By the way, here's the dystopian surveillance state that's crept into our lives while we were busy watching clips of kittens frolicking with baby penguins  (alternet.org)	(47)

(Seattle Times)		Police bust butt-dialer thanks to a crack in the case  (today.seattletimes.com)	(48)
(Some Guy)		"You are in contempt of court because you showed your butt in court," a visibly irate Bush told Ramsey. "You can spend three days in jail. When you get out you can buy pants that fit"  (montgomeryadvertiser.com)	(230)
(Some Finger Biter)		Headline: "Vancouver businesses don't fear a repeat of last year's Stanley Cup riot." Article: Vancouver businesses fear a repeat of last year's Stanley Cup riot  (thehockeynews.com)	(88)
		The Columbus Blue Jackets: Where losing is so embraced, they can't even win a draft lottery  (tsn.ca)	(104)

		Obama makes push for Buffett rule, which hurts businesses by making them install sneeze guards  (money.cnn.com)	(95)
		If you ask George W. Bush what he regrets about his presidency, it isn't the failure to capture or kill Bin Laden, or starting two drawn out wars. No, he regrets his name being attached to some deficit driving tax cuts  (money.cnn.com)	(148)
		Kill yourself and wait for the business to dissolve  (forbes.com)	(11)
		7th Grader saves bus from crash after driver has heart attack. School to suspend him for driving without a license  (cbsnews.com)	(46)

(Some Bent Guy)

Sure Vegas has minibuses equipped with stripper poles and Jacuzzi limos, now comes a curbside service to treat those with massive hangovers: Mobile IV vans to bring you back to life after an all night bender  (lvrj.com)

(53)

(Some Guy)

Nebraska likely to force telephone company to keep payphone in business despite pulling in a whopping $19.58 in coins to offset $1,469 cost to maintain it  (journalstar.com)

(186)

(Woonsocket Call)		Federal prosecutor says he would overlook a cancer patient with a joint, but a 96,000 plant medical marijuana grow operation is going to get busted  (woonsocketcall.com)	(48)
		15-year-old arrested for trying to steal a Wonder Bra. It was some kind of bust  (nwfdailynews.com)	(50)

		Matt Damon casting extras for film described as 'anti-fracking blockbuster'  (rawstory.com)	(46)
(Some Chick)		Goose family takes care of business at Office Depot  (journalgazette.net)	(23)
(Some Creosote)		Tiny new silicon110 GHz phased array transmitter developed. Scienticians say it's wahffer-thin, won't bust budgets or explode under pressure  (phys.org)	(26)
		Hot anthropology professor Kat Denning looks at aliens from perspective of scientists, engineers, Trekkers, other nerds. Yes, Stephen Hawking's "Columbus vs. Native Americans" analogy is mentioned, but inexplicably shot down  (wired.com)	(113)
(Some DHS Rascal)		Federal judge eviscerates the Department of Homeland Security with an opinion that scores somewhere between Airplane and Ghostbusters on the "density of quotable lines" scale  (powerlineblog.com)	(180)

		Reindeer can help slow global warming by keeping the tundra clear of bushes and trees, Christmas-hating elves  (sciencedaily.com)	(22)
		$2,000,000 indoor marijuana farm busted in Reno. Grower informed of farm's value immediately before mugshot is taken  (rgj.com)	(80)

(Some Guy)		Dollar General going into the liquor business in Florida  (ocala.com)	(72)
(Q2)		Yes, if you're a bus driver it's your job to pick up the kids. But "pick up" does not mean "attempt to hug and kiss"  (ktvq.com)	(47)
		Old: Big Oil. Busted: Big Coal. New Environmental Polluter : Big Chicken  (610wiod.com)	(59)

Either a Tim and Eric sketch or a real commercial for a small business in Sacramento  (blog.trutv.com)

(26)

		RNC Chairman Reince Priebus claims the recall in Wisconsin of a Republican will turn the state against Obama  (politico.com)	(117)
		While Apple's busy suing other tablet makers over their products' similarities to the iPad, enjoy these images of classic Braun industrial designs. That portable music listening device looks oddly familiar  (gizmodo.com)	(33)
		School system: "We'd like to look at your Facebook account." Teacher's Aide: "No." School: "You are suspended for violating our 'We want to look into your private business' policy"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(191)
		Old & busted: Planking, Tebowing and Owling. New hotness: Rex Ryaning, UPSing and Untrained Puppying  (hypervocal.com)	(38)
(Some Responsible Adult)		School bus driver gets 2 DUIs in 17 hours, eats thirty sack lunches, threatens to turn bus around, end precious field trip  (wtae.com)	(27)
		I know you've been losing sleep over the burning question on everyone's mind. Where has George W Bush been?  (politico.com)	(103)
		And if you had "the next business day" down for when Democrats would start making hay about the "Toss old folks and poor kids to the curb" budget passed by the House, step right up  (huffingtonpost.com)	(177)
		Gary Busey plays a pro-wrestling vampire who raps about eating spider webs...so it's autobiographical?   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(31)

		And the award for Most Inappropriate Parking Space goes to...School-bus in front of Porn Store, let's have a round of applause  (jalopnik.com)	(84)
		Former 'That 70's Show' star arrested for spousal abuse. Looks like Forman has seen better days  (tmz.com)	(118)
		Ugly ass baby aardvark born at Busch Gardens. Awww, how cu-KILL IT WITH FIRE  (www2.tbo.com)	(57)
		Tracking for cops is big business for cellphone companies. A menu of "surveillance fees" is marketed to cops that determine a suspect's location, trace phone calls and texts and provide other classified services  (nytimes.com)	(63)

		Father busts son wagging school at an internet cafe. Does he a) ground his son for a month b) cancel his pocket money c) chain him by the neck to a power pole. w/ pic  (smh.com.au)	(33)
(Corbin News Journal)		Couple busted for burglarizing a vacant home claim they were "looking for a pregnant horse" and "peat moss in order to decorate for a wedding"  (thenewsjournal.net)	(15)
(Smithsonian Magazine)		New and busted: Death Race 2000. Old Hotness: Death Race 1800  (blogs.smithsonianmag.com)	(15)
(Great Falls Tribune)		Ryan Leaf proves once again why he's the greatest of all time...if by "greatest" you mean "greatest bust in NFL draft history." With new mugshot  (greatfallstribune.com)	(78)

		On the set of a movie about reincarnation, Gary Busey told Booger from "Revenge of the Nerds" what heaven really looks like. And then things got even Buseyier  (buzzfeed.com)	(26)
		First you get the money, then you get the power, then you can get the lifesize bust of the Godfather, at least for awhile  (dailymail.co.uk)	(14)

(Some Guy)		Horse-drawn buggy rear ends a school bus. When will this rein of terror end?  (news-leader.com)	(40)
		To the people of San Francisco: Subway's $5 Footlong, not yours. Apparently your new minimum wage makes the cost of doing business impossible  (nbcbayarea.com)	(481)
		Not news: Red Wing loses on the road. News: To the Columbus Blue Jackets. Fark. On national television. Ultrafark: Due to injuries, Columbus started their 5th string goaltender, who got his first NHL win to boot  (nhl.com)	(170)

		Bush Sr. to endorse Romney. With a photo depicting what Romney had to do to get the endorsement  (bbc.co.uk)	(66)
(Some Guy)		Sony decides to get out of the game business  (gamespot.com)	(187)

		The choking story of rebellion, abuse and shame. The Linda Lovelace story  (dailymail.co.uk)	(68)
(Some Guy)		If you're tracked down and busted by an 8 year old boy using a tracking app, maybe... just maybe, burglary isn't for you  (johnsoncitypress.com)	(35)

(Calgary Herald)		Old and busted: stealing painting from art museum. New hotness: smuggling painting into art museum  (calgaryherald.com)	(43)
		Try to bring fruit or sausage through JFK Airport from overseas, and Izzy the beagle will bust you adorably  (news.yahoo.com)	(100)
		AOL begins selling off its patents to raise cash. In other news, there are business that still use dial up technology?  (news.cnet.com)	(42)
		Quebec City to start construction on a NHL rink to be completed in time to house the NY Islanders, Florida Panthers, Phoenix Coyotes, New Jersey Devils, Dallas Stars, or Columbus Blue Jackets when they move there  (msn.foxsports.com)	(89)

		After determining that tomatoes aren't fruits, and professional baseball isn't a business, US Supreme Court to decide whether a houseboat is a house or a boat  (washingtonpost.com)	(60)
		Old and busted: Pet clothes. New hotness: Laptop clothes  (shortlist.com)	(23)

		Old and busted: Paper lists judges who signed Walker recall papers. New hotness: Paper outs its own reporters who signed Walker recall papers  (postcrescent.com)	(165)
		Minnesota mob takes care of business  (twincities.com)	(8)

(Some Guy)		Why won't Bill Murray be in Ghostbusters 3? Because he's not stupid, that's why  (news.moviefone.com)	(90)
		19-year old entrepreneur has developed a thriving business selling a product that retails for hundreds of dollars and ounce, but unlike most people who fit this description, he has no fear of the DEA kicking in his front door  (news.yahoo.com)	(117)
(dustbury.com)		Dustbury picks the clever headline about HP's business merger as their FARK Blurb of the Week  (dustbury.com)	(0)

		Reason #4080 why Congress gets nothing done: Senator promises filibuster over US Post Office changes while Maryland and Delaware fight over which side of the state line their west bumfark post office will be  (baltimoresun.com)	(44)
(Heritage Foundation)		Good news for business owners and taxpayers. The 120 new federal regulations enacted last year will only cost you $1 billion a year for the next 15 years. Bonus: The Department of Justice says "You'll get over it"  (blog.heritage.org)	(84)
(Some Betty Spaghetty)		Romney proves his business acumen yet again as the stock price for the maker of the Etch-a-Sketch jumps 212.5%  (quote.morningstar.com)	(14)
		Bears. Bush. Battlestar Galactica  (chicagotribune.com)	(55)
(Some Guy)		Two young students caught having sex on School for the Deaf bus. Thank goodness Anne Frank isn't alive to see this  (fox59.com)	(161)
(Some Guy)		Man busted for getting his little dog drunk more than four times the legal limit. Your dog wants a designated driver  (billingsgazette.com)	(24)
		Old and busted: Billboard for a new kidney. New hotness: Billboard for another kidney  (610wiod.com)	(11)
		New York has the Statue of Liberty, Paris the Eiffel Tower, London has... FREE CAKES FOR EVERYONE AT BUS STOPS  (stylist.co.uk)	(57)
(athens banner herald)		Homeless woman banned from the public transit system for A) Foul smell B) Drunken yelling C) Eating crab legs at the bus stop...repeatedly  (onlineathens.com)	(55)

		Romney: Bush saved U.S. from another Great Depression, Godzilla  (rawstory.com)	(185)
		Taco Bell busted after refusing to run for the order  (thesmokinggun.com)	(83)
		The Debt has increased more under Obama than under Bush. And if you stop reading right there, you'll have a pretty good fw:fw:fw:fw email from your nutty uncle  (crooksandliars.com)	(73)
(NBCWashington)		Nigerian woman busted with 180 pellets of heroin in her stomach, a Dulles Airport record  (nbcwashington.com)	(32)
(Northampton Chronicle)		Today's Fark-ready headline: Doggers put off by trimmed bushes  (northamptonchron.co.uk)	(34)
		Old and busted: Bed bugs are infesting America's bedrooms. New insectological scare: Kissing bugs are sucking your blood at night  (mnn.com)	(27)

(Some Guy)		HP to merge business groups, leading to laptops that only cost $49, but require $499 ink refills  (allthingsd.com)	(56)
		CBS: National debt rose more under Obama than Bush; also, the Pirates are a bigger joke than the Royals and Justin Bieber is way lamer than Shaun Cassidy  (cbsnews.com)	(316)
		Caption these two well dressed young ladies just strolling along the street minding their own business  (msnbcmedia.msn.com)	(107)
		Tired of your ho-hum, work-a-day life? Sell everything and start trippin' in a vintage VW microbus, like this guy  (latimes.com)	(91)
		Great moments in campaign bus design - Canadian Edition  (cbc.ca)	(57)

		In unprecedented act of alcohol abuse, man beats wife with six pack  (courant.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this fragmentary bust of a man in a general's cloak  (images.metmuseum.org)	(27)
		A High Times executive and senior writer has been busted for his night job  (news.yahoo.com)	(59)
		How dating with narcolepsy is just sleeping around, KONY 2012 guy busted for leaving his invisible children around, and NASA planning solar missions at night: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/11 - 3/17  (fark.com)	(4)
		Student busted for NCAA betting pool. FARK: Fifth grader  (wtsp.com)	(41)
		Old and busted: Rent-to-own furniture. New hotness: Rent-to-own tires. It probably won't be a Goodyear  (ajc.com)	(82)

		Running ads mocking the people responsible for 25% of your purchases isn't particularly good for business  (huffingtonpost.com)	(58)
		Latest Stone Age technology that our elders are whining about falling into disuse: business cards  (latimes.com)	(166)

		Words like "epic" and "troll" get thrown about on the internet far too casually these days, but for Turkish soccer fans; using flares at their games is serious business  (youtube.com)	(29)
		WWE gets into the movie business. First up: a "Leprechaun" reboot. It's still real to me dammit  (variety.com)	(82)

(Some Guy)		Not News: Athlete busted for doping. News: Busted by little-known Canadian sports federation. Fark: Wheelchair Curling   (wheelchaircurler.blogspot.com)	(13)
		Teen gets busted for throwing a party while her parents are out of town when her dad remotely checks on the home's energy consumption. This never happened in a John Hughes' movie  (mnn.com)	(97)
		Police in Florida make a huge shoplifting epidemic bust after arresting a 12-year-old boy with autism who left a store with a greeting card in his hand worth $2.95  (wptv.com)	(131)
		Old and busted: Test-tube babies. New hotness: Test-tube kittens. What could possibly go wrong?  (bostonherald.com)	(35)
		Not everyone is abandoning Rush. Meet his newest national sponsor: Elmer's window cleaning service from Lenor City, Tennessee. "For a small business guy the ads on Rush right now are not that expensive"  (politico.com)	(142)

		Rising fuel prices curtail business travel budgets. Cincinnati Bengals finally find a way to eliminate eight road losses  (usatoday.com)	(4)
		GOP candidates this year would like to take their traditional "national security" platform plank, give George W. Bush a few whacks with it for letting Obama get all the headlines  (cnn.com)	(142)
		Bus carrying Belgian schoolchildren on a ski trip crashes in Swiss tunnel. 28 dead, including 22 children  (bbc.co.uk)	(160)

		"It isn't that Obama is necessarily any worse on civil liberties than Bush. The point is he's able to get away with so much more"  (politico.com)	(191)
		Now there's something you don't see every day; a stolen school bus with flat tires tearing down the highway with police in pursuit  (abc2news.com)	(17)
		Revealed: what Dennis Kucinich whispered to President Bush, just before the 2007 State of the Union. And no, it wasn't "You may be President, but I get to tap THAT every night"  (news.yahoo.com)	(42)

If Mannus rises in Denver, Tebus is gettin' kicked to the curbus  (bleacherreport.com)

(108)

Small town worried new business might attract unsavory elements. Strip club? Pool hall? Nah, Dollar General  (nwfdailynews.com)

(238)

(Some Guy)

Cool: Women are protesting Bank of America with their "Bust up BOA," by stripping down to their bras. Not Cool: It's "Code Pink" women  (beverlyhills.patch.com)

(23)

		According to the man who tortured the Constitution into giving Mr. Bush the authority to authorize waterboarding and other enhanced interrogation techniques, "Constitutional principles seem to be mere inconveniences to Mr. Obama"  (nytimes.com)	(69)
		White House, 2010: We are SHOCKED that the USDA fired poor Shirley Sherrod. FOIA request, 2012: White House intimately involved in selecting the make and model of the bus she'd be thrown under  (politico.com)	(84)
(Some Guy)		If you get busted for growing 18 cannabis plants next door to police station but are released, that doesn't mean you have free license to grow three times that amount  (thisisnottingham.co.uk)	(4)
		Greyhound track owners demand to be allowed out of the greyhound racing business  (nytimes.com)	(24)
		The biggest threat to the 250-year-old Faber-Castell pens and pencils business is not the Internet or computer games, but lack of time children now have to draw and write and paint  (smh.com.au)	(22)
		Magic the Gathering, SERIOUS BUSINESS  (youtube.com)	(195)
(Some Guy)		It's that same old story again: pastor abuses teen, teen gives birth, teen marries pastor after he divorces his wife, teen divorces pastor, teen sues church for $25 million  (1035superx.com)	(75)
		Israel to US "I can haz Bunker-Buster?"  (reuters.com)	(257)

(WCBS.com)		LaDainian Tomlinson introduces Mark Sanchez to the underside of the bus  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(64)
		It's business as usual in Washington D.C. as big donors got the big jobs in the Obama administration  (washingtonpost.com)	(57)
		After three years, Lehman Brothers emerges from bankruptcy. Company hopes to now achieve delicate balance between business irresponsibility and corporate fraud  (reuters.com)	(15)
(Some Guy)		Your tax dollars at work: A Detroit grant helps low-income people buy business attire for job interviews. Two people, be exact. For a measly $5.5 million. Each  (detroitnews.com)	(100)
		Florida finally does something about a huge problem plaguing society. No, not prescription drug abuse. Imprisoned pregnant women in labor making a break for it  (mysuncoast.com)	(23)

		Old and busted: Death panels. New hotness: Birth Panels  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(102)
		"The country that elected George W. Bush can elect a Rick Santorum, and everybody should treat that seriously"  (rawstory.com)	(186)
		Old-and-busted: Politicians stuffing rallies with paid supporters. New hotness: Politicians paying supporters to click on their YouTube videos  (latimes.com)	(25)
		A) Too busy submitting articles to FARK  (io9.com)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Time to bust out those zoning maps again; Maxis announces first new SimCity in ten years  (gamasutra.com)	(138)
		Imagine a country where there's: No Obamacare, No income tax, A complete free market, No Unions, No Govt involved in Business, Health Care, Labor matters or pretty much anything else except national security. Here's the Tea Party Heaven  (democraticunderground.com)	(226)

(Some Guy)		If you're going to rob a woman as she gets off a bus, don't later call her up and ask her for a date. "How could you be that damn stupid, that dumb?"  (pittsburgh.cbslocal.com)	(53)
		Math teacher, 29, busted for having sex with 17 yr old female student in her classroom during school hours  (dailymail.co.uk)	(107)

		Old & Busted: Groundhog day. New Hotness: Platypus Day  (cbc.ca)	(56)
(SB Nation)		Pirates bust out the checkbook, delay Andrew McCutchen's departure a few years  (pittsburgh.sbnation.com)	(42)
		The guy who impersonated Bush at the 2006 dinner is dead. *Reads article* Wait, he also impersonated Obama? Really?   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(79)

		Big bust at Victoria's Secret  (sun-sentinel.com)	(354)
		Just like Bush, Obama just took unilateral executive action to side-step the intent of a duly signed law. BSABSVR  (dailykos.com)	(215)

America needs to accept the fact that its most despised form of transport is also its hope for the future. That's right...the bus  (salon.com)

(208)

The "suspicious package" at Limbaugh house turned out to be some insane variation of the "Big Mouth Billy Bass" dealing with the Lincoln assassination that a dittohead thought would be a great business idea  (news.yahoo.com)

(110)

		The trailer for Piranha 3DD is here, and it might just be the greatest movie ever because Gary Busey bites the heads off the vicious biting fish  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(70)
(Investors Business Daily)		The average job growth rate since June 2009 is 52% higher in states with lower business tax rates than in states with the highest rates. Obvious over interesting by a nose  (news.investors.com)	(62)
		Failing to learn their lesson last time, Bank of America considers going out of business  (cnbc.com)	(51)
		Newt Gingrich on why he didn't criticize Bush when he apologized for a 2008 Quran desecration incident: "I wasn't a presidential candidate then"  (thinkprogress.org)	(61)
(Some Guy)		Are you a single parent in Wisconsin? Well, you'd better get married to some homeless guy, because being a single parent may soon be considered child abuse  (addictinginfo.org)	(110)

		Old and busted: baptism. The new hotness: waterboarding  (abcnews.go.com)	(51)
		It's confirmed; Bill Murray is not participating in Ghostbusters 3  (slashfilm.com)	(109)
		Interpol says 25 members of Anonymous went from "faceless, legion" to "busted, incarcerated"  (news.yahoo.com)	(114)
		US Secretary of homeland security says the War on Drugs in Mexico is not a failure, presumably while sitting in a pool of water so her pants don't spontaneously combust  (cnn.com)	(36)
		If you're a Chase customer with less than $100,000 in your account, they really don't want your business because you're no longer profitable  (bloomberg.com)	(77)

		Old and busted: Dumpster diving for food. New hotness: Dumpster diving for pot  (thedenverchannel.com)	(33)
		Police in Alberta looking for rustlers. Cut throats, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, con men, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, bull dykes, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists disheartened  (torontosun.com)	(79)
		Man busted in sex sting told detective he wanted to contract a disease. Yep, Florida. (with mugshot goodness)  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(29)

(Some Guy)		In the cool early morning hours, John Columbus Beane lay in the parking lot of Linda's Sports Bar, the distant police sirens signaling an end to a day filled with what had proven to be a string of very bad decisions  (wvgazette.com)	(84)
		Dish network plans to close 500 Blockbuster stores. In other news, there are still Blockbuster stores  (hosted.ap.org)	(103)

		How far out in the derp has the current crop of GOP candidates ventured? Jeb Bush just said, "I used to be a conservative"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(142)
		At least one business in Greece is booming: German lessons  (news.yahoo.com)	(44)
		Remember how Germany has been held up as the shining example of how government and business can work hand in hand? Yeah, well, about that  (nytimes.com)	(66)
		Press release: White House corporate tax plan closes loopholes for favored businesses. Reality: White House corporate tax plan creates loopholes for favored businesses  (finance.yahoo.com)	(28)

(Some Guy)		Bill Gates Foundation looks to become number one in the number two business  (businessinsider.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Old and busted: kidney stones. New hotness: kidney boulders. What the hell, India?  (punjabnewsline.com)	(70)
		Aliens invade Russia to have sex with successful businesswomen  (english.pravda.ru)	(32)
		Get stabbed in the face with a pen while trying to deal with an unruly passenger on your bus? You better believe that's a suspension...for the driver  (wrcbtv.com)	(22)
		The GOP's conundrum: Created by Bush, so it's good. Wait, it's supported by Obama, so it's bad. Crap, the ACLU is against it so it has to be good. UGH  (wired.com)	(39)

		Obama to seek a 28 percent corporate tax rate for the few remaining businesses who still pay taxes in this country  (wrcbtv.com)	(145)
		Good news if your school system paycheck isn't cutting it and you get busted robbing a bank...you're suspended WITH pay  (wftv.com)	(18)
		Adele proves a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush  (spinner.com)	(71)

		Ohio man busted in misguided attempt to stomp out breast cancer  (thesmokinggun.com)	(32)
(annarbor.com)		Ann Arbor.com notes that the fastest way to get an unusual business idea off the ground is to get a link from FARK  (annarbor.com)	(1)
		Not news: Fast food CEO works a shift at one of his restaurants for an episode of "Undercover Boss". Fark: He's so shocked by the abusive behavior of the shift manager that he breaks cover and confronts him (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(290)

		Family of sexually abused Boy Scout is suing the Boy Scouts of America after being told not to report the crime to the police because "those things are handled internally"   (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(220)
(Greater Fails)		Jimmy John's sub shop gets Yellow Page listing in Kosher section--which comes as a bit of a surprise to its owner, who's busy prepping a couple of Ultimate Porkers and a JJBLT  (greaterfalls.com)	(45)
		Media: Income inequality is soaring and hitting new highs. Facts: Inequality peaked in 2000 and has been decreasing ever since, with the greatest decrease when Bush was president and the GOP controlled both houses  (newsbusters.org)	(207)
		A bunny icon to the left of my Business tab? It's more likely than you think, when Paul Krugman does the Playboy Interview. No out-and-out nudity here, but site is probably Not Safe For Work  (playboy.com)	(20)

		If Mitt Romney loses Michigan, the GOP needs a new candidate: Jeb Bush, says top GOP Senator  (abcnews.go.com)	(124)
(Some Guy)		Boy with a funny name misbehaves and loses school bus privileges and obviously mother should be imprisoned for a year  (kctv5.com)	(209)

(NorthJersey.com)		4 sickened on NJ Transit bus by toxic mixture of rubbing alcohol, water and greed  (northjersey.com)	(45)
		Business advice from one of the most successful businessmen out there: Al Capone  (businessnewsdaily.com)	(14)
(Some Guy)		Article: Father warns citizens about Pokemon QR codes leading to porn sites. Comments: Bust father as porn browsing man because Pokemon QR codes don't work that way  (kptv.com)	(55)
		Yelp rates its own business, sets IPO price of $12/share. Investors plan to stock up  (bloomberg.com)	(22)
		Husband of Finnish president royally busted while checking out Danish princess' royal bust during state dinner  (liveleak.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Not news: Sheriff knocks on door to canvas for voters. News: Sheriff finds marijuana grow house and busts occupants. Fark: One occupant says the sheriff has his vote on Election Day. With two of the happiest mugshots you'll ever see  (5newsonline.com)	(88)

		In million-dollar deal to save school district, lucky Texas kids now ride "The Chick-Fil-A Bus" to school, where Social Studies has been replaced by Commerce Studies. Just kidding, they sold out for $40k/year  (nytimes.com)	(97)
		Woman tries to give away toddler at Fresno business. Then it gets naked  (sacbee.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Looking at porn on your phone and showing it to those around you may not get you fired from your job unless you are known by your students as the BEST BUS DRIVER EVER  (newsherald.com)	(12)
		Guy stops suspect robbing neighbor. "I'm no hero. Just an everyday, ordinary business man"... with a big farking gun  (khou.com)	(137)
		Another face seen in a tree trunk. No it's not Jeebus or the Virgin Mary. Hint: Phone home  (dailymail.co.uk)	(24)

(KENS)		Elderly homeowner shoots man in head for stealing potted plant from his yard. Thief survives, gets arrested. Shooter faces no charges because, in Texas, keeping people off your lawn is serious business  (kens5.com)	(459)
		Most businesses brag about celebrity clientele, then there's Michael Jackson & Whitney Houston's drugstore  (guardian.co.uk)	(30)
		By the end of his first term, Pres. Obama will have added $5 trillion to the national debt. This is $1.6 trillion more than Bush did in eight years  (caffertyfile.blogs.cnn.com)	(414)
		Ways to travel to Hollywood: plane ticket, train fare, bus ticket. Ways not to travel to Hollywood: tell police a bogus story about being carjacked hoping they'll chauffeur your broke, mouth-breathing self there  (blogs.tcpalm.com)	(14)
		Fox's Eric Bolling says it was okay for Bush to waste taxpayer money attacking Iraq because Saddam caused 9/11  (mediamatters.org)	(131)
		Actor Gary Bussey files for bankruptcy listing more than $500,000 in debts and only $50,000 worth of teeth  (startribune.com)	(40)
(WJAR)		Again: Gasoline is for use in internal combustion engines--not to clear brush and leaves from your yard  (www2.turnto10.com)	(26)
(Star Gazette)		Bad: Getting busted. Worse: Performing community service. Fark: Getting more time added onto your sentence for affixing a sex toy to the County van  (stargazette.com)	(31)

		Reggie Bush might be drawn to Kim Kardashian again, just as steel is drawn to a syphilitic, vapid, self-interested magnet  (showbizspy.com)	(18)
(13wham.com)		Sports utility vehicle collides with school bus. Don't miss this ripped-from-the-headlines story on the next episode of Law & Order: SUV. *DUN DUN*  (13wham.com)	(35)
(WAVY-TV)		Reverend Sun Myung Moon cedes mass wedding business to Morning Zoo DJs, let's see if anybody notices  (wavy.com)	(16)
		Susan G. Komen founder Nancy Brinker billed the foundation $133,507 in expenses while she was working full-time for President Bush. So send more money. You know, for breast cancer  (thedailybeast.com)	(199)

		Bill Murray's decision not to be in Ghostbuster 3 may lead to Dan Aykroyd re-casting the role, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria  (avclub.com)	(132)
		History will remember George H.W. Bush for his part in the first Gulf War, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and his fabulously colored socks  (chron.com)	(79)
		Hugh Hefner's son accused of abusing a woman. Meanwhile, Hef's girlfriends have to see him naked  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(39)
		This is the busiest week of the year for: (a) Hallmark stores. (b) Flower shops. (c) Private investigators  (big1059.com)	(40)

		While Mitt, Santorum and Newt are busy ripping each other apart, Ron Paul is quietly amassing delegates. Stop snickering  (slate.com)	(198)
(Neal Page)		You're a female air traveler and there's no female TSA agent to screen you? No problem, there's a bus terminal across town. Buh-bye now  (kdvr.com)	(232)
		Coming up next on Fox Business: NOTHING. Hey, it's just like the business tab  (deadline.com)	(17)
		Your business plan sounds fat  (businessnewsdaily.com)	(3)
		Driver rescues students on her elementary school bus after it imitates a kid's science project and melts down  (cnn.com)	(40)

(Some Guy)		If you think doing your taxes by yourself is confusing, try getting them done at a tax business where somebody put meth in the company coffee  (billingsgazette.com)	(44)
		I think we already have a winner for Worst Business Metaphor of the Year: "In many ways, the Chipotle burrito is very similar to the iPhone"  (slate.com)	(128)
(msnbc)		Business 101: Always avoid meetings with time-wasting morons  (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(17)
(AmeriCOUNT)		Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) to Newt: You want to hear about the Food Stamp President? He added 18 million people to the program and increased spending in it by $19 Billion. Oh, and by the way, his name was George W. Bush  (americount.org)	(146)

(Some Guy)		Old and busted: dwarf tossing -- New Hotness: Baby as dumbbell  (wbtv.com)	(29)
		Old and busted: Basketball trick shots. New and improved: Bow and arrow trick shots  (youtube.com)	(62)
		American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo?  (washingtonpost.com)	(429)
(The Hindu)		TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped  (thehindu.com)	(60)
		Old & busted: drunk driving. New hotness: SUPER DRUNK DRIVING  (wxyz.com)	(98)

		Hollywood might have learned that trying to adapt board games that were invented nearly a century ago into modern blockbusters is possibly a poor idea  (nymag.com)	(109)
		Bush would like to remind you he was not a gambler with tax payer monies, and you can take that to the bank  (beta.finance.yahoo.com)	(102)
		Heroes: How elite special forces armed to their teeth busted into Kim Dotcom's family mansion to capture two kids, one baby, two Filipino nannies, a woman and one clumsy meganerd  (gizmodo.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Evangelical Christian Group: If a man busted for a half-gram of cocaine in 1988 still can't get a job in 2010 without involving lawyers, there's a problem with the justice system  (breakpoint.org)	(114)
		If you don't have the sense to re-elect Obama, that's your own -- I mean Bush's -- fault  (townhall.com)	(46)
		After days of meticulous planning, man pounces out of bush to chase after ex-wife, douses her with flammable liquid yelling, "I'm gonna kill you"... then stumbles and becomes engulfed in flames. (Early Darwin nominee)  (wptv.com)	(73)

		Patrick Stewart tries to support charities by highlighting domestic abuse at hands of father, Gul Madred  (guardian.co.uk)	(27)
		Man busted for mooning on trolley. King Friday the XIII frowns upon these shenanigans   (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(28)

New York Times post $40 million loss in 2011. However, it was spread out liberally among all its media businesses  (mediabistro.com)

(53)

		Busch Gardens welcomes ugly-ass baby giraffe to.....oh who are we kidding. She's adorable  (mysuncoast.com)	(47)
		University hires top ninja chief as business-school professor, researching how to apply ninja precepts to business world  (japantimes.co.jp)	(42)
		Woman picking her kid up from school enters through bus-only lane, hits gate with her car, drives over curb, and exits through entrance, and is busted for DUI and other charges. Ta-da  (orlandosentinel.com)	(21)
		If you're going to do a news story about a massive cockfighting operation busted in San Diego with over 2000 cocks discovered, you may not want to let a woman read the copy  (youtube.com)	(22)

		House GOP votes unanimously to reject the proposition that the Bush tax cuts added to the deficit. So yeah. Problem solved   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(115)
		N.J. Democratic lawmakers: "Shame on Chris Christie for abusing the Port Authority for patronage. (Psst, hey Port Authority, how about some patronage?)"  (nj.com)	(13)
(brobible.com)		Larry, Curly, and Moe busted for running $1 million LSD ring at Drexel University  (brobible.com)	(81)
		Former star of Home Improvement busted on drug possession charges. Nope, not him. Not him, either  (nydailynews.com)	(82)

		"Spiffy," said Tom, "I have invented the phonograph. Now businessmen can send each other brief messages in pneumatic tubes, which I call the Internets." "Now, Slave, fetch me a recording of Bismarck"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(10)
		Aussie boss sells business and gives $15 million bonus to staff  (rawstory.com)	(50)
		Man busted for driving around on a moped armed with a Walther P22, a Steyr M9, and a Japanese dagger-shaped martial arts weapon while looking for "the man"  (palmbeachpost.com)	(25)
		Cardinal Bevilacqua paternos his way out of testifying at upcoming church sex abuse trial  (msnbc.msn.com)	(51)
		Prince William deploys for six-week tour of the Falklands. Presumably Harry is busy infiltrating Argentina, because one more person in a Nazi uniform over there wouldn't stand out  (guardian.co.uk)	(45)

		Stocks post their best January since '97. So it must be the Bush recovery. Or the anticipation of a Romney presidency. Or the Jet Stream. Or a celestial convergence. What else could it be?  (thedailybeast.com)	(88)
		I'm not saying Rodney Harrison threw Asante Samuel under the bus, but Rodney Harrison threw Asante Samuel under the bus  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(8)
		DP World sees 10% increase in business, has never looked up their name on Urban Dictionary  (finance.yahoo.com)	(33)
(Some Guy)		HOLY JEEBUS. Your two favorite things are now combined. Could be four if served between boobies  (esquire.com)	(94)

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