Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Style Weekly)		Pesky First Amendment thwarts developer whose name was used for website depicting her as a demon with a "Ghostbusters 2" quote (link fixed)  (styleweekly.com)	(71)
		Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, and hot lead  (myfoxla.com)	(25)

		Worst-Case scenario for West Virginia: "Always restrained, WVU fans respond by throwing coins, whiskey flasks and small auto parts at the officials. Huggins rages like King Lear. After five technical fouls, they lose by two."  (sports.espn.go.com)	(41)
(Digitalspy)		Toni Braxton is planning a comeback single in hopes to unbreak the pop charts  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(11)

Humans could regrow body parts like some amphibians. This is good news for John Bobbitt  (telegraph.co.uk)

(30)

(Some Eastwood)

Boy band Boyzone denies Gorillaz their rightful place at the top of the UK charts. Experts blame Mother's Day. Seriously  (spinner.com)

(14)

Line starts here? The vajazzled one may be back on the market boys  (celebitchy.com)

(37)

(Some Guy)

Skilled labor apprenticeship: 'The other 4-year degree'. Or you can just get a degree in liberal arts, acquire 100 k in student loan debt, and work at Starbucks  (thenews-messenger.com)

(103)

Calling all NOLA Farkers: interested in a Spring crawfish boil in April? Tabasco v. Crystal v. Louisiana Hot Sauce argument starts to the right  (google.com)

(63)

Independent firm claims that while Toyota spends a lot of time testing vehicle components, the amount of time spent testing its automotive computer code could be measured in popcorn farts  (news.cnet.com)

(63)

Law, MBA graduates job opportunities dwindle, still better off than liberal arts majors  (sacbee.com)

(113)

(ISN'T SHE LOVELY?)

Paris names Stevie Wonder Commander of Arts and Letters, did not anticipate the enormous cost of translating those arts and letters into braille  (nme.com)

(5)

Man banned from all Wal-Marts for life because he refused to show his receipt to a door greeter. Guess he'll shop at K-Mart from now on  (consumerist.com)

(512)

Terry Jacks topped the charts on this day in 1974 with Seasons in the Sun. Just try to get this one-hit wonder out of your head  (youtube.com)

(111)

With the Canada/USA Olympic flamewar dying down, Deadspin kickstarts the annual Yanks/Sox pissing contest by naming the AL East's second most successful team their "Team of the Decade"  (deadspin.com)

(107)

North Korean rice shipment to the Republic of Congo found to contain a suspicious level of T-55 tank parts. Authorities tipped off by the unlikelyhood of North Korea having any extra rice to ship anywhere    (news.bbc.co.uk)

(74)

		Obama starts process of bringing Japan's bullet-train system to America, based on fact that it's tried-and-true technology, has never crashed, and is greener than cars. "U.S. bullet trains would probably require larger seats"  (search.japantimes.co.jp)	(357)
		Bryan Adams to be given Lifetime Achievement Award for Performing Arts, in hopes that he'll stop now  (thestarphoenix.com)	(14)
		Are you ready? Ready, Freddie? Thirty years ago Queen topped the charts with Crazy Little Thing Called Love  (youtube.com)	(50)
		Not news: Woman attacked in street. News: With a sword. Fark: Attacker said the reason for the assault was "Four quarts low on the truck" TotalFark: Did Subby mention attacker is a psychiatrist?  (local12.com)	(57)

(UTV News)

Attention old farts everywhere; we "millennials" prefer be called the "Hero" generation  (u.tv)

(461)

Ignore expiration dates, a.k.a. "toss it when it starts to smell like Amy Winehouse"  (slate.com)

(168)

		Kevin Smith releases his "Final Words" on the Southwest Airlines incident. In 24 parts  (youtube.com)	(195)
		It's probably not good for the marriage when your wife starts dating the marriage therapist  (abcnews.go.com)	(82)

		Twenty-five years ago today, Wham (with George Michael) topped the charts with Careless Whisper. SAXOPHONE SOLO  (youtube.com)	(31)
		Sex researchers say that ill-fitting condoms are a problem, recommends new sizing charts: Ouchie, Jumbo, Extra-Large, Large, Normal, and Hummer-owner  (physorg.com)	(103)

		TSA winning the hearts and minds of traveling public. Just kidding....they make a four year-old take off leg braces so he can't walk  (philly.com)	(338)
		WARNING - Graphic footage: Tiger escapes in Tokyo's Ueno Zoo, savagely attacks a zookeeper before being shot with tranq darts. Not for weak stomachs  (youtube.com)	(211)

		On this day in 1987, Bon Jovi topped the charts with "Livin' on a Prayer." Spend some time this Valentine's Day with Tommy, Gina, and the docks  (youtube.com)	(26)
		Postman wins $4700 in damages after complaining that a cut on his finger stopped him from playing darts. I'm sure plenty of people out there have a finger to show him  (dailymail.co.uk)	(33)
		Well you see Scottishness starts with little things like that, and works up. You see, people don't just turn into a kilt-dropping Scotsman for no reason at all  (news.com.au)	(44)

In some assembly projects, it's not unusual to have few parts left over. Usually that doesn't happen during an autopsy. And if you're missing a jawbone, deputies don't expect to hear from you  (startribune.com)

(24)

		World Net Daily finally gets something right: The Becks and Breitbarts of the world aren't opposed to birtherism because they don't believe it, they're opposed because they think it's a losing issue that makes the right look bad  (wnd.com)	(339)
		Sade is taking the Billboard pop charts by storm. This is a repeat from 1985  (contactmusic.com)	(17)

High level irony - paleography might become a lost art  (guardian.co.uk)

(58)

The Argentine artist who received a six-figure check from the Canadian Arts Council to fund the creation of a 300-meter-long inflatable banana to fly over Texas in protest of President Bush's policies has cashed the check and skipped town  (corner.nationalreview.com)

(70)

In 1976, Paul Simon topped the charts with 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. No need to be coy, Roy  (youtube.com)

(29)

		Four minute video charts progress of 5 year old and her family's search for the perfect replacement for the legs she was born without. Somethings in my eye. Tag is for family  (youtube.com)	(17)
		Here's the Sports Science episode showing how Drew Brees is more accurate than Olympic archers. Sweet dreams, Colts fans (action starts at 4:05)  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(67)

Cue your flowcharts: Obama chides Democrats, telling them GOP doesn't have a 41-59 majority  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)

(172)

Senator David Vitter starts printing his own Who Dat t-shirts and writes the NFL a letter demanding that they either sue him or drop their ridiculous trademark claim  (examiner.com)

(72)

Pudgy male pols are considered more reliable and honest than their thinner counterparts. In other news, NJ has their most honest governor ever  (nydailynews.com)

(25)

(Digitalspy)

Hope for Haiti expected to debut at number one on the Billboard Top 200. I told you it would shake up the pop charts  (digitalspy.co.uk)

(7)

Boring snoozefest of a song hits #1 on the UK Pop Charts. Surprisingly, this doesn't involve Animal Collective, Jack White, or Radiohead  (contactmusic.com)

(92)

		80's German metal stalwarts "The Scorpions" announce that they are breaking up. In other news, 80's German metal stalwarts "The Scorpions" still existed  (denverpost.com)	(81)
(Goal.com)		US Soccer team starts World Cup year with convincing win. Just kidding, they got trounced by a third world country  (goal.com)	(73)

(Some Guy)

An awesome snow chopper made entirely from junked parts. Total cost - $10.00. Total cool factor - 9.5  (thekneeslider.com)

(34)

		Shipping container company starts research into eventually helping Haitians make housing out of shipping containers. But first: college dorm containers  (sciencedaily.com)	(186)
		Apparently there is a database of over 300,000 ER visits involving injuries and consumer products. The comedy gold starts at number 8  (sun-sentinel2.com)	(668)

		This week's mugshot roundup starts off with a serious football fan and seriously deteriorates from there  (thesmokinggun.com)	(199)
(Some Guy)		Susan Boyle steals a mop at the airport and starts singing into it, then shines the shoes of strangers. And then things get really weird  (heraldsun.com.au)	(162)
		Thirty-eight years ago today, American Pie began its four-week stint in the number one position on the charts. No matter how many times you've heard it, you'll still listen  (youtube.com)	(67)
		Both Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson are learning that there IS actually a limit to how stupid and/or hateful you can be to victims of a tragedy before everyone starts calling you out as a dick  (news.yahoo.com)	(871)
		Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak proclaims Google phone as his favorite gadget as the iPhone fangirl inside me starts to sob  (gizmodo.com)	(243)

(Some Rematch Guy)		Can the Bengals show a rookie QB why he can't make the playoffs? Can Dallas hand Philly yet another loss? Here's you wildcard Saturday playoff thread (starts 4:30pm ET, both games NBC)  (nfl.com)	(lots)
		Take one Mercedes Benz SLS AMG, add a tunnel and a healthy portion of speed. Result: Driving upside down. (the money shot starts at about 2:00 in)  (youtube.com)	(84)
(Weather.com)		Cold weather in parts of Florida causes strange items to seemingly fall from the sky: iguanas (video)  (weather.com)	(34)

(Chronicle of Higher Education)

Don't go to grad school for the humanities, unless you want your future job to involve deconstructing the signifiers in the power structure of french fry hermeneutics  (chronicle.com)

(125)

(Some Do It Yourself Guy)

Your auto mechanic can't fix your new car because: A. He can't get the parts, B. He's too busy, C. It's copyright infringement?  (techdirt.com)

(205)

(Some Spinster)

Spin releases their forty best albums of 2009. The list starts with Kiss and just gets worse from there  (spin.com)

(76)

College campuses are adding more and more "green majors" to their rosters, opening up a career path for those who can't hack the rigor of liberal arts  (usatoday.com)

(343)

Turtle farts raise an alarming stink  (telegraph.co.uk)

(59)

Nation's most highly decorated soldier, who was awarded the Medal of Honor once and was nominated twice more and earned eight purple hearts, has passed away. Unclear if he went peacefully or if Death will be walking with a limp for a while  (abcnews.go.com)

(149)

		Secret Service thwarts cat-fight; blocks crazy but hittable blond ditz on First Lady Michelle Obama action  (cnews.canoe.ca)	(102)
		2007 Corvette Z06 $45k, not knowing how to do a burnout and roasting off your clutch, before parts and labor, priceless  (youtube.com)	(114)

(Some Guy)

"I can stop global warming. All I need is a really long hose and $250 million worth of farts"  (associatedcontent.com)

(78)

		Avatar follows in the footsteps of District 9 and countless other films, in that its a movie about white guilt, and the desire of white people to become parts of other races, but only if they can still control them  (io9.com)	(327)
		"Clash of the Titans" ordered to do some last minutes re-shoot to fix "some creaky parts". Presumably, all scenes involving Bubo or Liam Neeson  (contactmusic.com)	(74)

Bowl season starts today at 4:30 ET with Fresno State @ Wyoming in the New Mexico Bowl followed by UCF @ Rutgers in the St Petersburg Bowl. Top that off with the Saints facing the Cowboys. Your Saturday football thread is here  (cbssports.com)

(lots)

(Some Guy)

U.S. to Capture Cow Farts to Save the Planet. This should complete the Cow trifecta  (dailyfinance.com)

(38)

(Econlib.org)

Philosophers surveyed over philosophers' philisophies consider themselves adept at describing other philosophers' views. That, along with the sheep dip and the raisin' of the wrist  (econlog.econlib.org)

(96)

Harvard, Dartmouth, Cornell and Boston College reduced to making Hogwarts comparison to pimp themselves out. Cornell quarterly: "Bring your wand and broomstick, just in case"  (gawker.com)

(94)

Man stabbed in Toowoomba... Ok, now that they're just making up names for body parts Subby's gonna go play with his wongasnoker. Wipe that thought from your goobramiken  (news.com.au)

(80)

(Some Guy)		"Rule No. 2: Santa doesn't get arrested, because that just looks bad. So while this is a pub crawl that starts at 10AM (...), maintaining a level of decorum is essential."  (nbcnewyork.com)	(44)
		Obama demands Republicans stop scaring people, saying that's Democrats' job. Besides, he has charts showing everything is improving. As every Farker knows, charts bring stupid arguments to a screeching halt  (thehill.com)	(105)

I'll see your 757 landing and raise you a C-130 Carrier landing. Unarrested goodness starts @ 2:00 minutes  (youtube.com)

(51)

Lindsay Lohan departs the US to do a documentary in India on impoverished children who are so poor they don't even have enough money to buy a gram of blow  (nypost.com)

(20)

(Some Guy)

Train buffs arrested after building their own locomotive out of spare parts, garden furniture and beer crates and running it on a public rail line. "It seems to be one of those mad pub ideas that actually happened," police note (pic)  (policeoracle.com)

(89)

(DARPA)

Reminder: DARPA Network Challenge starts tomorrow at 10AM ET. Join TeamFark to win $40,000 for Toys for Tots  (networkchallenge.darpa.mil)

(140)

		Dad brings home full-size Barbie for daughter's Christmas gift. Soon, she starts moving around on her own, causing car accidents, frightening contractors and inducing gallstones. Then it gets weird  (cnn.com)	(138)
		The biggest jobhunting mistake of the holiday season. And it's not 'having a liberal arts degree.' That's number two  (examiner.com)	(48)
(Political Wire)		Proving just as willing to blame others as their heterosexual counterparts, Log cabin Republicans blame Democrats for failure of marrige equaility bill that had zero Republican support  (politicalwire.com)	(89)

(Some CFL Fan)

Green-garbed watermelon-helmet wearing inbreds versus poutine-munching Pepsi™-slurping frenchie snobs; There can only be one. 2009 Grey Cup thread starts here  (2009greycupfestival.com)

(130)

(Some Guy)		Man who lived a year without money describes it as "the happiest time of my life", says he hopes he is an inspiration to other liberal arts graduates everywhere  (itn.co.uk)	(174)
		Sculptures made of scrap car parts all day pictures of you will see coolest (Overused Headline Scramble)  (telegraph.co.uk)	(26)
		British town starts wrapping its lightposts up in thick wool sweaters so drunken students don't hurt themselves when they walk into them (pic)  (news.scotsman.com)	(38)

(Some Guy)		This holiday, I'm thankful for entrepreneurs, pie charts and schadenfreude. Mostly, I'm thankful for the internet for bringing all of these together in one hilarious email exchange (some NSFW-ishness)  (27bslash6.com)	(58)
		Coño man, it has been 10 years since Elián touch our hearts, Ft Lauderdale  (miamiherald.com)	(57)

Recent immigrants to Canada more likely to be male, younger, better educated, work for smaller companies and undercut wages by $2.28 per hour compared to their Canadian-born counterparts, which explains why they're stealing all the jobs  (cbc.ca)

(131)

Duke of Northumberland, who owns Hogwarts, is not real Duke of Northumberland, alleges retired hockey player from New Zealand  (telegraph.co.uk)

(26)

		MLB free agency starts today, or as its known to the Yankees, " Very nice, how much?"  (espn.go.com)	(31)
		Liberal college students arrested for protesting against liberal colleges for raising tuition due to liberal policies. Oh the humanities    (cnn.com)	(342)

To regain your place in the national cricket team, do you (a) work out and train hard, or (b) undergo secret liposuction that puts you out for 5 months? With bonus reference to genital warts  (stuff.co.nz)

(8)