Headlines matching 'art'
Thu April 11, 2013
Wed April 10, 2013
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Customers like Windows 8 so much, they've driven the PC market to the worst sales since tracking started in 1994 |
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Scientific genius, Rep. Joe Barton: "I would point out that if you're a believer in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change, and that certainly wasn't because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy" |
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Gunman holding firefighters hostage releases one but four continue to be held outside Atlanta. Link goes to story with link to live coverage. UPDATE from article: Suspect is dead, hostages are okay |
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The woman behind Thatcher death parties is somewhat of a drama queen |
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If you're wondering why grandma has been drinking PBRs while snacking on artisan pickles, it's because she's been hanging out with the hipsters at the local bingo hall |
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Farker's first attempt at light painting cherry blossoms results in an article being written in The Atlantic. Article to the left, harsh critics to the right |
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'Please help' and the 8 other things Earthlings want to say to extraterrestrials ... Turns out, we're a fairly self-obsessed bunch |
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Obamacare will work out so well, one of its main architects stated the following: Law 'beyond comprehension;' After bad start, 'will only get worse'...Fail tag is for all those who 'passed it to see what was in it' |
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New startup Coinsetter set to bring leveraged bitcoin trading to the masses. What could possibly go wrong? |
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Republicans look to send a stern message to Obama over his excessive time machine usage by canceling the "obamaphone" program that he secretly started when Reagan was president |
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Mayor Bloomberg to meet with Jimmy Carter; take his soda |
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Malaga owner Abdullah Bin Nasser Al-Thani says on Twitter that his team's elimination from the Champions League quarterfinals by Borussia Dortmund was because of "racism" |
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Smart: Avoiding a big car payment by buying a nice used car. Dumbass: Avoiding a big car payment by taking out a 97-month long car loan on a new car |
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Police unsure why man came to police headquarters, stripped, pulled the fire alarm and injured two officers while they were subduing him. Oh, wait, this was in Trenton, NJ? Say no more |
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County utilities department forgets that if you charge people for backflow testing, you should probably perform said tests |
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Seth Rogan wants to raise $40 million on Kickstarter to make a Pineapple Express sequel...who does he think he is, Veronica Mars? |
Tue April 09, 2013
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The majesty of orbiting the Moon during the Apollo missions: seeing Earth float in Space, ruminating on our role in the Universe, having your turds float in Zero-G in the capsule and asking Mission Control what to do |
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Hothead who swore to "start killing people" gets to have his guns back since he was angry when he said it |
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There is a news aggregation website called Fark.com, which tags news articles with labels such as "sad," "scary" and "amusing." One of the tags is "Florida." It is the only state that has its own tag on Fark |
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Just like the skirmishes in "bloody Kansas" provided a preview of the Civil War, the battle in Iowa over who will run to try to ocupy Tom Harkin's soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat are a dress rehearsal for the coming GOP war with the Tea Party |
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KPMG has apparently decided not to play Arthur Andersen to Herbalife's Enron, resigns as auditor. With some BS excuse about insider trading thrown in to cover their asses |
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Nothing to see, just another tax season article on IRS deductions that .... Wait, beer is deductible? |
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"Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" enters download chart top 40 following the wicked witch's death |
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Xbox 720 will be born with a defective, underpowered heart and the inability to learn from it's past |
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6.3 magnitude earthquake in Iran. And nothing of value was lost |
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You know how cops are always artificially inflating the potential proceeds in their drug busts? Well one guy in Colorado is suing the police for $210,000, for his illegally seized pot. Police to say this is exorbitant in 5..4 |
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New Jersey grandmother founds "Cursive Club" to keep alive the delicate art of cursive handwriting |
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Man loses dart game, punches wall, crashes car, calls 911 to report himself for drunk driving, gets arrested. TA-DAAA (w/mugshot) |
Mon April 08, 2013
Sun April 07, 2013
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Snoop Lion: Rap music may never accept gay artists. Grown men that name themselves "Snoop Lion," "Wacka Flocka Flame," and "Young Jeezy," are good to go though |
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38 years after starting a hit-and-miss sketch comedy show, Lorne Michaels is now most powerful man at NBC - "the last man standing at a last-place network" |
| (Some Guy) |
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Happy Birthday Billie Holiday, the greatest jazz singer of all time. Here's the complete 28-minute doc: The Life and Artistry of Lady Day |
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Wanna see how some superheroines look fully clothed? Article to the left, "WTF am I looking at?" comments to the right |
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More than 700 educators from one particular state decided to better themselves this weekend. Did they do it by a.) Taking advanced math classes, b.) Researching teaching methods utilized in Europe, or c.) Attending a free gun class? Hint: Texas |
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Walmart worker finds an envelope left in a cart containing $20,000. Quickly does the right thing ... and returns the money to the person who left it there |
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Who will Joey Logano get involved with this week? Will Jimmie Johnson win his eighth grandfather clock? Will Subby devour his weight in Martinsville Hot Dogs? It's your STP Gas Booster 500 thread, 2 PM on Fox |
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Melissa McCarthy lampooned the Rutgers coach abuse scandal and Peter Dinklage showed up on last night Saturday Night Live, giving us one of the funnier episodes of the season (w/video) |
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Jon Stewart interviewed George Carlin in 1997, and it's as awesome as you'd think |
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World Fark Party III - New Orleans, Louisiana: April 5 - April 7 |
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Kindergarten teachers brace for the class of 2018 to include Phaedra, Mingus, Linnea and Thor |
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Not news: School bans kindergartener from class. FARK: because his mohawk haircut is too distracting |
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Twin Cities Fark Party, Saturday April 13th 7pm-NOW WITH LOCATION |
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Meet the doctor who can revive heart attack patients who have been dead for hours |
Sat April 06, 2013
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So many news organizations kiss Fark's ass, but only HuffPost Weird News plies Farkers with beer and Rum (w/ World Fark Party III slideshow) |
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Fark Party Chicago - 13APR - 8pm-11pm - Lincoln Tap Room |
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John Lackey reinjures arm in first start for Red Sox. This is not a repeat from 2011 |
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Lando Calrissian turns 76. That's smooth, baby (Some Not safe for work images below article) |
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CNN regurgitates a crappy "living in sin" article from 1975 that they stole, hopes nobody notices that all they did was change the dates and pretend that your dead grandparents are even moderately concerned about this "new trend" |
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Homeless guy who shares the same name as an apartment building owner continually tries to take ownership of it. Fark: He successfully got out of jail by using it as collateral. Bonus: His day job is being a blind street photographer |
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News: People arrested at a protest. FARK: They were arrested for protesting a bylaw which requires protesters to submit a route prior to the start of the demonstration. Irony: They didn't submit a route |
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Who has the best sex in America? Let's start this with "NOT Subby" :( |
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Guess who wants white people to wear special wristbands, to remind everyone how privileged they are: (a) the Ku Klux Klan, (b) the American Nazi Party, (c) the Wisconsin public school system |
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Police departments receive training in dealing with 'sovereign citizens'. Regicide? |
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Millions of underground bugs with orange legs, red eyes, and clear wings with orange veins, that have been sucking fluids from tree roots, are about to burst from the earth in the biggest inundation of Magicicada septendecim since Brood X |
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Electronic Arts, headed for Consumerist's 'Worst Company in America'-- second year running-- preempts criticism: "Many continue to claim the Always-On function in SimCity is a DRM scheme. ... We can't be any clearer - it's not. Period" |
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God threatens to kill President Obama and the entire Lee County Sheriff's Department |
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Cracking your knuckles can't give you arthritis, but it sure as hell can annoy the hell out of everyone around you |
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Deal reached in Trayvon Martin case |
Fri April 05, 2013
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Ever wonder what the people who voiced the cartoon baddies from our youth looked like? Fark: Jesus, number 13 looks just like his character |
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"She had been starving after spending two weeks in the wild when she devised an innovative way to catch fish using her private parts as bait and then trapping her meal between her legs" |
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Friday Night Women's MMA: Invicta 5, featuring Jessica Penne vs Michelle "The Karate Hottie" Waterson for the Atomweight Championship. Plus the return of the totally not 'roided Cyborg Santos. Stream starts at 7 PM ET |
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You're going to need to go somewhere else to shoot your awkward family photos as both Sears and WalMart shutter their portrait studios |
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John Boehner to Obama: We will not allow you to destroy Social Security, a program my party has cherished and nurtured for generations, just to push through another tax hike on America |
| (Some Guy) |
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Don't look now, but RAND PAUL is starting to do the exact same things Obama did three years before his first presidential bid |
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Photoshop theme: Photoshop what might happen at this year's World Fark Party |
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At a San Francisco fundraiser, Obama praises California's AG Kamala Harris' toughness and smarts, and also notes she's "the best-looking attorney general in the US". Aides are preparing the pull-out couch in the Oval Office for his return |
| (Some Guy) |
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Graphical representation of US income distribution. Get your browser ready for a 4.9 mile high chart |
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Porsche unveils a $99,000 plug-in hybrid. It combines the style and luxury of Porsche along with the road handling and speed previously only found in a golf cart |
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Police Chief resigns to devote more time to his newfound interest in "fine art" photography of college students, rather than face charges |
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Legendary Silver Age Comic book artist, Carmine Infantino, has taken the cosmic treadmill to the great beyond |
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The folks at national pretzel sellers Auntie Anne's want their customers to know that an incident last week involving an employee who flung nacho cheese at some customers was not part of the chain's 'pretzel perfect' experience |
Thu April 04, 2013
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Your homeowners' association can probably kick you out for smoking pot. Start stocking up on incense now |
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I'm not sure what an apocalypse looks like, but my subconscious tells me it starts like this |
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Just in time for Record Store Day, new book explores shadowy music of 1970s unsigned artists who pressed their own homemade albums and promptly faded into Bolivia |
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The National Weather Service, annoyed by The Weather Channel's naming of lesser storms, is broadening the definitions of "hurricane" and "tropical storm". The Weather Channel to start naming individual clouds |
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Martin Luther King, Jr's last 32 hours |
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MLB ticket demand visualization chart shows the two most annoying fandoms will show up at any ballpark & drive prices up |
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Woman arrested for the murder of a man on I-Drive. If only he'd hidden behind a partition |
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America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly |
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Raven tells Disney / Lucasarts to fark off and releases the source code to Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy |
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Have you ever seen a collection of amazing time lapse videos of the Earth, over a year, from space....on weed? Here's your chance |
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Artiste depicts LiLo in the most appropriate medium possible |
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Are you bald? Congratulations, you're gonna have a heart attack. Probably from seeing a small Wookie worth of hair in the drain every morning |
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Mars rover missions to go on spring break, party on the moon, explore the curiosity of green alien women |
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From the you're not helping file: US Embassy in Egypt tweets Jon Stewart's rant about Egypt, causes diplomatic incident |
Wed April 03, 2013
Tue April 02, 2013
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MAD Magazine artist Bob Clarke no longer one of "The Usual Gang of Idiots" at 87. Goodnight and thanks for the 54 years of laughs funnyman |
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Will Raylan be able to stop the thugs from Detroit? Will Boyd discover his conscience? Will Art have another exasperated, profanity laced monologue? It's your official "Justified" season finale thread. 10pm ET. FX |
| (Some Artist) |
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Historical paintings of women updated to represent today's standard of beauty. Still below studman69's standard (Artistic nudity) |
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The league leaders in France, Germany, Italy and Spain play on Tuesday. Some other kinda good teams play Wednesday. It's your UEFA Champions League Quarterfinal First Leg thread |
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Some farker poured 2 years of his life into a DS game and now it's on Kickstarter. If you are a fan of multiple tiny screens and talking robots (and who isn't) then please check it out |
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Come on, you never wanted to climb into the ball rack display at Walmart? |
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The flare guns in Walmart work. You don't need to test them in the store |
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Apparently Arianna Huffington parties like a 60's rock star. Just not in the good way |
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Justice department to monitor elections in two southern states to make sure there are no civil rights violations. Did I say southern states? I meant Kansas and Nebraska |
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Apple CEO apologizes to China after realizing it's not smart to piss off your entire workforce |
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It's always a good sign when your manager starts his first week in charge with the 'but some of my best friends are black' defense |
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Good: Republican NYC councilman and a Democratic NY State Senate work together in a show of bi-partisanship. Bad: To rig the NYC mayoral election |
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China's newest cocktail, the Yellow River: Ten parts human remains, six parts pig carcasses, 1/2 part duck and a twist of household waste. Partridge and a banzai tree are for presentation |
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Best Korea is restarting its nuclear reactor to obtain more fuel for nuclear weapons. The way things are going, they may wind up getting some of those materials sooner than they're planning on |
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I know it's right before NOLA, but Drew will be at Stone Brewing in Escondido on 4/2. So, FARK PARTY |
Mon April 01, 2013
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My best birthday? When my friends kidnapped me for the surprise party and the police got involved |
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Note to the GOP: as you try to pull off a party make-over to appear more cuddly, inclusive, and centrist, and less angry and batshiat crazy; Michele Bachmann is Not Helping |
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Google's April Fools Day pranks are totally NOT FUNNY, according to people who are still pissed that Google Reader is going away. In other news the butthurt about Google reader can officially seen from space according to Google Earth |
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Opening Day is Best Day. (Games start at 1:05 pm EST) |
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Don't you hate it when you finally get to sleep at 5:00 AM and some jerk starts pounding on your window? |
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Sick of receiving abuse from trolls on Earth, Mars rover Curiosity says it will destroy the planet |
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The Pennsylvania Turnpike has a new commissioner. Bidding will start at one million dollars |
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The ghost of Breitbart smiles down from the afterlife as his apostles carry on being irresponsible and reckless journalists in his name. Did I say down? I meant up |
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Subby refuses to apologize for this article that says not apologizing actually makes people feel more empowered. NOT SORRY |
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Lowell, Mass. police union agrees to let city start tracking location of police cars in return for retroactive .25% pay increase |
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The 16 best examples of how you can turn your chest hair into works of art. Come for the American flag, stay for the Transformer face |
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Not news: Man's girlfriend gets pregnant. News: She has to have part of her leg amputated. Fark: Because his ex, who he also got pregnant, ran her down. His take? "I mean, I am handsome" |
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Blake Shelton might leave The Voice because he realizes it is damaging his artistic integrity. Just kidding; he's demanding more money and threatening to quit if they don't meet his demands |
Sun March 31, 2013
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It's been 80 years since the crash of the USS Akron and this article makes clear just how dangerous those airships were |
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Surrender: Police Departments have two strategies when they're under pressure to cut crime. 1, They flood crime zones with Police that muscle criminals off the streets. 2, They simply downgrade crimes, or make it difficult for citizens to report them |
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Irish political party slammed over site that gives Irish youth tips on dos and don'ts of threesomes. "But not everyone has agreed that the sex advice written by an American woman who edited the site three years ago was inappropriate" |
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#4 Michigan vs #3 Florida followed by #2 Duke vs #1 Louisville. It's a 4 3 2 1 Sunday afternoon of basketball fun starting at 2:20 ET |
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Italy's chocolate Easter eggs are works of art, some of them costing $300. But there are gifts inside--some of them that would make for a pretty sweet Easter surprise |
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When is it socially appropriate to start wearing white again? Is it after the first day of spring, the day after Easter, or Memorial Day? And if you live in Arizona, do you even have to follow the rules? Yes, some writer really asked these questions |
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Let's play the Walmart game: 3 items to buy + 1 cashier to terrify. Go |
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Its been a long time so just to recap, ManU are walking away with the title, Arsenal try to walk it in, Swansea are the Barca of England, Newcastle are tres bon and the best team in Liverpool is Everton. Let the banter start in the EPL thread |
Sat March 30, 2013
Fri March 29, 2013
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Chinese shopping mall decides to give out free pieces of eight-meter-long cake to hundreds of people. Turns out worse than a Walmart on Black Friday |
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Put your drinking shoes on, it's time for some basketball. It's Cardinals vs Ducks for the early birds, while the Wolverines face Kansas. Then, Florida visits Dunk City but not before Duke starts sucking against MSU. It's your Sweet 16 day 2 thread |
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Yo mama is so fat the Orange County Fire and Rescue Department had to spend thousands of dollars on new ambulances that would be capable of transporting her |
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Inside the weird, bizarre, utterly insane world of the inexplicably popular Adventure Time cartoon |
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Chip Kelly changing everything about the Philadelphia Eagles, including the locker room seating chart, which is great, because professional football players just love being treated like they were back in college |
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Michigan RNC member wonders what the hell his party has come to when you can't even put up a Facebook post attacking gay people without party officials jumping all over your shiat and demanding you resign |
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PGA Tour star Jason Dufner is just thrilled to be visiting a Kindergarten class |
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RNC committee member in Michigan is under fire for posting anti-gay article on Facebook. Those sissy Marys |
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Note to Speaker Boehner: If you're gonna call Lincoln's image by quoting him to make a point, omitting part of the quote because you don't like it is foolish, as we will always find out |
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Photoshop Theme: Give us a PARTIAL view of an image, then surprise us with the WHOLE IMAGE. LGT sample |
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1980s-era video produced by LA County Sheriff's department to help the Los Angeles Police Department correctly identify wild deputy sheriffs in the field. Distinctive markings and other helpful hints included |
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TL;DR version of Hollingsworth v. Perry oral arguments. "Are you harshing on my nostalgia?" "I was alive back then, and trust me, I am not feeling particularly nostalgic for the time" |
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While New Yorkers are enjoying their 5 ounce sodas and fat-free burgers, they are secretly raising bacon in their apartments |
Thu March 28, 2013
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Coolest picture of the lightest human-made substance on Earth you'll see all day |
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My partner suffered a severe stroke. How soon can I leave her? |
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What's better than your new Windows 8 start screen? Your new Windows 8 start screen on ALL of your screens |
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Winter is coming...to dinner: Khaleesi's Deviled Dragon Eggs, Take The Black Bean Dip, Dothraki Blood Pies and other recipes for hosting your own Game of Thrones premier party at home |
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News flash: No, you cannot adopt your girlfriend. Especially not as part of an alleged bid to safeguard tens of millions of dollars |
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Yet another Republican says Steubenville rape victim was a willing participant. Read that wrong. It was the local NAACP President |
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Walmart planning to "crowd-source" parcel delivery by letting the customers who shop in the store sign up to deliver packages to those that order things online. Also swear they've thought their cunning plan all the way through |
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Don't worry about national debt folks, its not like a democratic country would start seizing its citizen's savings accounts after it got itself into a debt hole it couldn't get out of. Oh, wait |
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Wharton picked as the nation's best executive MBA program after compiling lowest ratio of arrests versus years served |
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100 years ago, President Wilson started the tradition of the presidential press conference. 99 years ago, he started the tradition of trying to dodge questions |
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Google Street View allows you to tour the city of Namie, Japan, abandoned after the Fukushima nuclear accident. The Earth abides |
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Mitch McConnell takes a lesson from the Russians in WW2. No, not to execute cowards retreating. He's scorching the Earth to make sure democracy doesn't grow |
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Ali Larter fills out a pair of mom jeans very, very well |
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Adderall makes you smarter, but is it cheating? |
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The Esquire article about the Seal who took the shot at Bin Laden has been debunked...by the Seal in the article. Awwwkward |
Wed March 27, 2013
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Ah, history: "Closer inspection of this artwork reveals a human-like male in sexual congress with what is indisputably a nanny goat" |
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Two words: Whisky Art |
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SE Michigan/NW Ohio Fark Party April 27 Ashley's Ann Arbor 7:30PM |
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Community college newspaper publishes articles about sex in their annual sex themed issue. Do you A) Let it blow over in a few days B) Direct complaints to the editor or C)Destroy all copies and disband the paper so people can talk about it for weeks |
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Obama oppressively kills 52 Taliban members in a single day. Can't see that in the article? Right there where it reads " and NATO-led coalition forces" |
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Welome to Wal-Mart, please don't shoot the deer that happen to be in our parking lot |
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$155M, highest price ever paid for an artwork by a U.S. collector paid for Picasso's "Fat Chick With a Penis Growing Out of Her Chin Playing With Herself" |
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World's smallest implant tells your smartphone when you're about to have a heart attack. Finally, something for AT&T customers who have just had their tenth straight call dropped |
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When did we start hating lawyers? Pretty sure since at least Shakespeare's time |
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Stone penis unearthed in Israel. Yes, it's cut |
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Justin Timberlake's new CD movies almost 1 million copies in its first week, overtaking his superiors David Bowie and Bon Jovi in the Billboard charts |
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Check out my cool black-henna tattoo, pretty neat huh? And it is totally temporary. Man, this is starting to feel weird, sort of a burn...ow...no really, ow ow ow...OMG WTF |
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Google engineers: smarter than 5th graders, not smarter than Vietnamese 11th graders |
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Woman throws an unauthorized surprise party for her boss, who then finds her history of embezzlement and theft |
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NBC hires attractive English blonde Rebecca Lowe as face of English Premier League soccer, starting this fall. Jolly good |
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Vegas casino bartending workforce increasingly dominated by young and sexy big-breasted women, edging out the middle-aged union members who knew how to mix drinks |
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Art school by ten, pro by fourteen, and the guy who made DC characters rock in the 80's, Happy 65th Birthday, José Luis Garcia-Lopez |
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Jesse James hopes to find happiness marrying a drag racing bride, although his past marriages were also fueled by alcohol, started fast and were done in six seconds |
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Amazing story of Menelik Watson, son of lower class rastafarian parents in Manchester UK, who went from learning the game of football to starting at Florida State in less than a year, and is now a top O-Line prospect in the NFL draft |
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6 design flaws that annoy you every day (and why they exist). #7 - Putting a short Cracked article on 2 different pages |
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Omaha Fark Party II. OMAHARDER June 8th at 7pm at the OB Lounge |
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Wal-Mart shelves are empty. They're empty because there aren't enough people to stock them. There aren't enough people to stock them because stores aren't selling enough. Stores aren't selling enough because the shelves are empty |
Tue March 26, 2013
Mon March 25, 2013
Sun March 24, 2013
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What happens when we let children vote? They give top prizes for acting to Kristen Stewart, music to Justin Bieber, and voiceover work to Adam Sandler |
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Remember the bizarre murder plot against Justin Bieber that was masterminded from a prison cell? Well, the convict behind it now tells his side of the story. Dana Martin-who has a Bieber tattoo-tells Details that he still has assassins on the case |
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Denny Hamlin won't have any excuse blame his performance on how hard it is the pass in the Gen6, or how mean Joey Logano is, as he starts on pole for the Autoclub 400 at Fontana. 2:30 PM ET on Fox |
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Millionaire, and one of the "most powerful women entrepreneurs" according to CNN, is abusing Kickstarter to raise money to send her 9 year old daughter to camp |
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World landmarks go dark for "Earth Hour," discover that "Grab Everything In Here That's Not Nailed Down Hour" was equally as successful |
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"Using the system developed through decades of work by British scientists and military contractors ... [grown] men could discuss their love for a cartoon pony show, even forging bold new identities as "bronies" |
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After another sinkhole opens up it becomes clear that the earth is trying to swallow Florida |
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NASA slams spending cuts that put Earth at risk of undetected killer asteroids. What could possibly go wrong? |
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F1 Malaysian Grand Prix Discussion: Vettel on pole, Massa second - out qualifying Alonso again. Mark Webber to start 5th, which really means he'll be racing from 10th after the first lap |
Sat March 23, 2013
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News: Man does 23 years in a NY Prison for murder. Other News: Released after his conviction is overturned. Fark: Suffers a heart attack on his second day of freedom |
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I bet you never knew there was a competition for artistic model airplane flying. Well now you do |
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Some basement dweller named Polyakov wins the $3M Fundamental Physics Prize. FARK: to get his losing peers to shut up, they toss Hawking a $3M bone, and another $3M to the 300,000 folks that "discovered the Higgs-like particle" at CERN's LHC |
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Michigan vs. VCU has already tipped off to start the second, I mean, third round of NCAA tournament action Your bracket is already broken, but you know you're still watching. It's your official round of 32 discussion thread |
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Bailing on traditional marriage could destroy the GOP. The article makes it sound like this is a bad thing |
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Who killed off 76% of life on earth? We're not naming names, but this article has a photo of New Jersey |
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Headline: "Girls outnumbered in New York's elite public schools" Article: Boys outnumbered in elite schools |
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Veronica Mars Kickstarter campaign rattles movie industry. And by "rattles", they mean that Hollywood has just seen the perfect new way to fleece the marks out of more money that gimmicks like 3-D could never have delivered |
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Lockheed Martin will scale quantum computing up to a commercially useful level and apply it to its business. Or it won't. Or it will and won't at the same time. I bet the cat ends up dead |
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NASA video captures comet, sun storm and Earth together, can't explain where the soundtrack by Strauss came from |
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Pat Forde's annual pre-tournament best-case/worst-case article says that Florida Gulf Coast's best-case scenario is Twitter buzzing over the coach's wife as the team gets blown out by Georgetown. Best case |
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New field of terradynamics could help improve martian robots. With picture of "improved" robot |
Fri March 22, 2013
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Just another day at Wal-Mart |
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If you had money on Jack Bauer's girlfriend and the kid from Party of Five doing an NCIS spinoff set in Idaho, you win |
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Man has four kidneys, three pancreases, huge medical bills and a partridge in a pear tree |
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Medical study shows that after a single dose of psilocybin, participants' personalities magically change for the better |
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He cuts the hair of incredibly famous people, he's a world-class sculptor, and perhaps the world's greatest living master of martial arts-he actually IS, the most interesting man in the world |
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Remember the Congressional "Tea Party Caucus" in that was going to shake up Washington and end 'business as usual'? Yeah it apparently doesn't exist anymore as all its members have either been booted from office or quietly quit the group |
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Hip replacement reduces heart failure, depression, and diabetes risk. Still no cure for Bea Arthur's coquettish sexuality |
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HAL would be jealous: US military wants automated Artificial Intelligence tools to create smart computers faster |
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If you're running for governor and your entire investment portfolio is in a company with a $700,000 tax dispute with your state, postponing the hearing until after the election is usually the smart move, unless you're the sitting AG |
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Another day of March Madness begins with everybody rooting for Albany. Games, Warburton, and H Jon Benjamin start at 12:15 EST |
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Screw Jay Leno; the real question is, can we survive without Jon Stewart in late night? |
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Farker part of team trying to solve the newspaper problem. Bonus: No Paywalls |
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Subby learned two things from the article. First, there is such thing as a 'Sandy Hook Truther' and second, that subby has fusion paranoia |
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Coming hours will decide Cyprus' fate. Dogs and cats already seen shopping for apartments together |
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Legendary sculptor who built Darth Vader's mask and Indy's Ark of the Covenant is busy cranking out the awesome for Guardians of the Galaxy |
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From our Department of Questionable Homeowner Decisions: "While cleaning up, she saw snake, threw gasoline on the snake, lit the snake on fire" |
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Martin Brodeur sets NHL record for most goals with the third of his career |
Thu March 21, 2013
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Texas congressman tweets: "The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out." Trollarity ensues |
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Thursday Night MMA: Bellator 93 with the lightweight tournament final featuring Marcin Held vs. Dave Jansen, heavyweights Travis Wiuff and Ryan Martinez, and Marcus Davis fights Waachiim Spiritwolf. First fights start at 8pm eastern |
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Michael Moore and Rainn Wilson tweet about a news article on how asinine the NRA is. Fark: It was an Onion Article. UltraFark: they didn't know it was fake |
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Louisiana Governor says replacing Income Tax with Sales Tax will provide the same amount of revenue. Non partisan study finds his numbers to be a little bit off. A little bit, in this case, being slightly north of a half billion dollars |
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Photoshop this thing by the artist Christo |
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This is the reason the internet was put on this earth |
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A spokesman for Hell sighs heavily and announces construction of a a new "special place" after the FBI arrests a couple that was planning on starting a babysitting business to get access to kids they could drug and use to produce child porn |
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Google Auto-Complete replete with racism (long article, but interesting research) |
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The Dallas Police Department has a government program that involves a dark truck stop and a never ending supply of sex workers that actually works |
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Not news: burglar breaks into department store via the roof. Fark: in the middle of the day, during business hours. Fall through the ceiling, scuffle, and tasering ensues (with criminal mastermind mugshot) |
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Oh sure sure sure, like the guy in f*cking $5,000 suit is going to give money to the Arrested Development documentary film kickstarter |
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Is it just Subby or does a map of the universe's oldest light look sort of like a map of the Earth with Africa and Australia particularly dark and the Lost Continents of Lemuria and Mu spoiling the effect? |
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Life imitating Art imitating Prostitution |
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Toronto Raptors' basement-dwelling department gives us rare access to the Marianas Trench of basketball nerd-dom |
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Looks like its time for that Atlanta mall security guard to do a kickstarter project, he's out of a job |
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Suicide bomber attacks Pennsylvania home. Subby stops worrying about Al-Qaeda and Al-Shabaab, starts worrying about Al-lentown |
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The school that suspended a boy for a gun-shaped Pop Tart has also outlawed hugging, homemade food, pushing kids on swings, sneezing, the apostrophe and breath mints. Only two of those are untrue |
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John Kerry says we should call Earth "Ocean" because there's more water than land. Also wonders why cargo goes on ships, but shipments go on trucks; or why we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway |
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"The man suspected of stealing a 42-inch TV from the Walmart Supercenter Saturday also might be a meat burglar" |
Wed March 20, 2013
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The verdict is in: courting the hipster "creative class" only serves to improve the lives of hipsters themselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be at the artisanal cheese chop in 26 minutes |
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Who has no legs, two pistols and tried to escape on a hoverround after shooting someone in Wal-Mart? This guy |
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Is your husband/boyfriend/domestic partner having a problem finding your elusive G-Spot? Well, modern medicine has just the procedure for you. The G-Shot |
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Normally, a routine court appearance by a guy accused of possessing an illegal gun at an airport wouldn't become a buzzy little Internet story, but the guy's name happens to be Barton Simpson and the judge is identified as "Mr. Recorder Burns" |
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In a rare moment of bi-partisan consensus, almost all Senators on both sides of the aisle in the US Senate have come to the same conclusion: freshman Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is a huge dick |
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Partying skinny dipping Spring Breaker told cops they were on a power trip. Cops then demonstrated their power |
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NASA to New York: If you see an asteroid hurtling toward Times Square do the following: 1) stop what you are doing, 2) spread your legs, 3) bend over and place your head between your legs, 4) start kissing your butt good bye |
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Do Big Cats like Catnip? part II: Here Comes the Science |
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The US Patent Office thinks that talking to no one in particular is a novel invention |
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Canadian Health Ministry PSA, Social Farting. "If you only fart with friends, you're not a farter" |
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Sign on a slow news day #3645: NBC News discovers this new "Kick Starter" thingy |
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Art or nightmare fuel? |
Tue March 19, 2013
Mon March 18, 2013
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Study finds MSNBC programming consists of 85% "opinion" and 15% "news", while Fox News programming consists of 55% opinion and 45% Republican Party press releases disguised as news |
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Remember Uncle Arthur, who once slipped Mallory the tongue? And the friendly bicycle man who gave little boys wine before Jacko made it popular? Yeah, I'd almost mercifully forgotten, too |
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Local Tea Party president and former American Fascist Party member describes the AFP as "basically a scattering of people across the continent just complaining" |
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Saint Louis Fark Party, June 1 - Get drunk and climb on stuff, now with hotel info |
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Producer for "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" testifies that parts of the show were staged and re-shot , especially the parts where Kris Jenner says that she isn't all about the money |
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Apart being, you know, bears |
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You know who else was a little teapot? |
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Kristen Stewart shows her full range of emotions while explaining St. Patrick's day. Marvel as she never manages to close her mouth, |
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FED boss says your big bank could fail. DOW futures sag on the overnight trading scams. Start stuffing your mattresses with bank cash and put your helmets on. Monday could be a hard slide |
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Did your bartender do the Shamrock pour? |
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Newspaper wires up three basketball coaches with heart monitors. Verdict: It's surprising we don't see more dropping dead on the court |
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The happiest places on Earth are now less happy if you're under 14 |
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Turning your lights off for "Earth Hour" will actually do more to harm the environment than help it |
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The dominance of Anheuser-Busch InBev and MillerCoors in the beer market has been threatened by upstart craft breweries |
Sun March 17, 2013
Sat March 16, 2013
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40 blind runners to participate in Boston Marathon. Forty blind runners. That's as many as four tens. That's not so terrible. I SAID, THAT'S NOT SO TERRIBLE |
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It just never fails: you go in to Walmart intending to spend $20, you leave with a $235,000 expense |
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There's all dead, there's mostly dead, and then there's only dead for 30 minutes and then not quite so dead, which results in the bank where you had your massive heart attack apologizing for offering your family condolences |
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In case you needed one more reason to avoid Arizona, now's the time of year when hungry rattlesnakes starting waking up from winter hibernation |
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The oldest species of saber-tooth cat in the Americas discovered in Florida, it's so old it predates the Earth itself |
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Grand Theft Auto, Junior Edition: 12-year-old steals car from Walmart parking lot, leads SC police on chase down interstate |
Fri March 15, 2013
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Reuters' social media editor suspended following charges of conspiring with hacker group Anonymous, using douchey definite article in Twitter handle |
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When one of the conditions of your bond is that you "stay out of all the libraries on the face of the earth," you've probably done something really bad |
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Samsung's new smart phone watches you, literally, non-stop |
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Mitt Romney is now the Andy Dick of the Republican Party |
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Drunk driver arrested traveling south on northbound highway lanes. "Told she had been going the wrong way, Baron's passenger chimed in, "I've been telling her that for the last 10 minutes," police said." Did the Boston Fark party start already? |
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Without this guy, hackers would be able to break into our FB accounts and leave messages like "my farts smell" as an outgoing status message |
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"When the animal died, Kmart asked that a second shark be brought on set, but the production company refused and replaced the animal with an animatronic hippopotamus" |
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The McPoutine? Shut up and fill my arteries |
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From the department of "no farks left to give" comes Facebook hashtags |
Thu March 14, 2013
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If he had simply told a bartender "thank you," Romney may not have had to face the whole '47 %' issue at all |
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Appeals court replaces judge in Whitey Bulger trial because former prosecutor who investigated Bulger and/or helped cover up his crimes might not appear impartial |
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"Six percent of Americans believe in unicorns. Twenty four percent believe dinosaurs and man hung out together. Eighteen percent believe the sun revolves around the Earth. Nearly 30% believe cloud computing involves actual clouds" |
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Chinese install emergency spiral slide down apartment block stairwell. Residents praying for arson |
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Senate Democrats block the Tea Party's attempt to cut Obamacare in the budget bill. Well you'll never win them over if you keep letting socialism through |
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For the first time in 17 years, there will be no English clubs in the quarterfinals of the Champions League. But it's OK, because finishing in 4th place in this year's English Premier League is a bigger deal anyway |
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Happy Pi Day, work out your tart proportions by tossing a hotdog down a hallway |
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Could the successful Veronica Mars Kickstarter appeal be a watershed moment for niche movie funding? And could this be the path to The X-Files 3 and Dredd 2? |
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Sneaking out to fark during the prom is probably a cool idea. But you should do it while you're a student like your partner, instead of waiting to become assistant principal |
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Mikhail Gorbachev at 82: Communist Party reformer, accidental revolutionary, widower, piano ballad crooner |
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Congrats to Chris Hadfield on being named ISS boss. Here he is doing a earth guy-spaceman real time duet with Ed Robertson and friends. Carl Sagan said don't send a scientist, send a poet. Fortunately, Chris is both. Rock on, spaceman |
Wed March 13, 2013
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