Headlines matching 'art'
Mon May 28, 2012
Sun May 27, 2012
Sat May 26, 2012
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Summer hasn't even officially started yet, but the competition for biggest fail while jumping off of a cliff and into the water has gotten off to a smashing start (liveleak.com)
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Chicago Fark Party - 9 June - New bat time, new bat channel (fark.com)
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Like many inventors, the man who patented the egg cartoon was no match for sharp lawyers and big business. His story is scrambled in a slide show. So get crackin' (theglobeandmail.com)
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NASA considering a "tumbleweed rover" to explore Mars; the 6m in diameter sphere would be powered by Martian wind (sciencedaily.com)
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Glitz, kitsch, human rights violations, a pack of Russian grandmothers, more cheese than a tailgate party at Lambeau Field, politicized voting, and Engelbert farking Humperdinck. It must be time for your 2012 Eurovision Song Contest thread (bbc.co.uk)
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How to make a small fortune from Facebook. Step one: Start with a large one (nme.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Officer, you have the wrong house. There is NO armed robber here. My family is cooking dinner. Can we PLEASE go back inside and turn the stove off before a fire starts?" (wiod.com)
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American Idol champion to undergo kidney surgery. Once again, another musical career starts after being influenced by the stones (dailymail.co.uk)
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Sometimes classic car restoration can be challenging. On other occasions you find all the component parts for a 1925 MG buried separately under two inches of concrete beneath a cow shed (bbc.co.uk)
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Brooklyn school tries to keep Class of 2012 prom goers from starting the Class of 2030 (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)
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San Diego Fark Party, THIS SATURDAY May 26th 6:00pm at Pizza Port Solana Beach (fark.com)
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Barack Obama is facing his Jimmy Carter moment (telegraph.co.uk)
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TORONTO FARK PARTY - June 2nd. 1pm Blue Jays v. Red Sox, 8pm variety show at The Comedy Bar - stand-up, music and burlesque acts put together by our very own Mike "Nug" Nahrgang (AKA The Mustard Man). Come mooch a beer off Drew (fark.com)
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Joe Biden gives one of the most emotional, passionate speeches of his (or anyone's) career... not one iota of partisanship (video.msnbc.msn.com)
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Fri May 25, 2012
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Teen secretly lived in AOL's HQ for 2 months, eating free food, using gym & showers, sleeping in conference rooms while working on his start-up. Everyone assumed he worked there (news.cnet.com)
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The Earth-shaving asteroid 2012 KP24 is here to remind you why easy access to space is good (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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Bridge from Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge" located in MacArthur Park. In other news, someone left a cake out in the rain (nme.com)
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| (The Mercury) |
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Mum of two talks about her recent trip to the Playboy Mansion. Yes there's a gallery. Yes there was a lingerie/pyjama party. No, there's no word from her boyfriend about what he thinks about the trip (themercury.com.au)
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Father upset that his third-grader daughter was drawing swastikas as part of her class art project when she was supposed to be studying Native American culture (azfamily.com)
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News: Tim Tebow shines at Jets practice. Fark: On punt coverage. Obvious: At quarterback, not so much (espn.go.com)
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Childrens' Art Festival expected to draw hundreds of people. Mostly with stick bodies, big heads and scribble hair (mlive.com)
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Wilmer Valderrama sued by neighbor for having loud parties, nailing every hot young starlet he can find (tmz.com)
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Not to alarm anyone, but right now there is a full-blown war going on between two Mexican cartels and there is no end in sight (azcentral.com)
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Rescue workers have to demolish part of house to get Britain's Got Tonnage winner to the hospital (mirror.co.uk)
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| (whdh) |
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Don't you just hate it when a bunch of heifers crash your party and drink all the beer? (www1.whdh.com)
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Seattle Times gives a shout out to Fark for this gem about Michael Vick: "Couple now registered at Macy's, Bloomingdales, PetSmart" (Mid-way down) (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Thu May 24, 2012
Wed May 23, 2012
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Economic confidence in US hits new high until someone realizes that the chart's upside-down (gallup.com)
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| (Architizer) |
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Korean artist constructs "Type City", a leaden miniature city made out of movable type from junked printing press. Meanwhile, in Comic Sansville, you are advised not to drink from public fontains (architizer.com)
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Will Martin Brodeur need a glass of Metamucil? Will John Tortorella need a sippy cup of apple juice? The answers and more in tonight's Devils at Rangers Game 5 ECF thread (8:00 PM eastern, NBCSN) (nhl-red-light.si.com)
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If I'm reading this article correctly, and I believe that I am, the headline is longer than the article (independent.co.uk)
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| (Blue Bar Cage) |
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Well, Stand Up for WWE, the campaign that has absolutely NOTHING to do with Linda McMahon's run at a Senate seat, is off to a laughable start (bluebarcage.blogspot.com)
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Blogger claims that Roger Ailes claims that Jon Stewart once admitted to him in a bar that he was a socialist, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Stewart has to dig a hole and sit in it (breitbart.com)
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"Mr. Singh said that he had 65 langurs urinating on prominent homes and buildings throughout Delhi." The best part is that they pay him to do it (nytimes.com)
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Trickle-down effect in action as new Facebookionaires start pissing their wealth down on everybody else (foxbusiness.com)
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China's new 4D roller coaster gives you the best excuse to move there since you learnt their Walmarts sell crocodiles (shortlist.com)
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Realizing that maybe the economy isn't his strong point, Romney shifts focus to education. You know, that part of the federal government over half his party wants to get rid of (wrcbtv.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cory Booker: Mayor, superhero, part-time Hasidic Jew. Wait, what? (jewishpress.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The overriding question is: As artificial intelligence advances, do humans have to remain in the loop? (govexec.com)
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Earthquake blamed for increase in cat suicides in Turkey. The sudden popularity of raccoon videos also believed to be a factor (shortlist.com)
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If I'm reading this article correctly, and I believe that I am, the Obama campaign is doing some sort of weird experimenting with advertisements that use something called "empire-ism." Hm. Guess the man is a dictator (slate.com)
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| (wjhg television) |
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Embarrassed at getting caught stealing a shopping cart, our intrepid hero tries to redeem his street cred by stealing the clock off the police station wall (wjhg.com)
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| (La Crosse Tribune) |
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If YouIntroduce yourself on a video where YouAdmit to the crime of stealing a video camera, don't upload it to YouTube, YouWill go to jail. And the article will post the video that YouMade of YouDoing this. YouDumbass (lacrossetribune.com)
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Geek Pride Night 9pm 5/23 at Skybar in Bowling Green, OH. Farkers most definitely welcome to our party (fark.com)
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Ex-James Bond actor is pissed the new 007 sold out and replaced the signature martini with beer. Well duh. You must be some kind of idiot to endorse Heineken without some serious kickbacks (tmz.com)
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The first trailer for "The Great Gatsby", in all its Art Deco glory (youtube.com)
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Tue May 22, 2012
Mon May 21, 2012
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School administrator suspends seniors for school pran.. wait, what? She congratulates them for coming up with a prank that was original and did no damage? In other news: Not all school administrators are robotic martinets (boston.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Building built with 500,000 beer bottles, or the trash from roughly one fark party (lvrj.com)
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| (The Courier-Journal) |
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News: Shooting happens in a bad part of town. Unusual: Six people are shot, three of them fatally. Fark: One of those fatally shot was the boyfriend of a woman who wore a "No Boyfriend, No Problem" shirt to the crime scene (courier-journal.com)
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Darth Vader set to host fundraiser for C-3PO (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Firedoglake) |
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The Breitbart awards for journalism, blogging and activism, brought to you by the letter dog and the number potato, with funding from the Heritage Foundation (tbogg.firedoglake.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Fukushima nuclear plant disaster is dwarfed by earthquake in North-Italy. As many as 200,000 cheeses lost, region to smell like jockstrap for years (thejakartapost.com)
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"Anyone chosen to screen test with Leonardo DiCaprio will have to play the scene in the nude." The smartest man in show business, ladies and gentlemen (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
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| (Outside the Redzone) |
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Miami Marlins host future Denver Rockies (made that last part up) (outsidetheredzone.com)
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| (WCPO) |
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Concluding yet another "Who would have thought that?" study, CDC discovers that overweight teens are most at risk for future heart related problems. Next on their list, do glasses help people see better? (wcpo.com)
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For once, an article headline poses a question for which the answer is "YES" (nature.com)
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London Olympic hurdler sets personal best time. Clean start? Okay. Prevailing wind speed? Okay. Number of hurdles placed on the track? Oops (nypost.com)
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Data may shed light on healthcare trends, if he can ever defeat Moriarty on the holodeck (washingtonpost.com)
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Everybody says they're in favor of artistic expression, but you can be sure you've got their attention when they ask you to remove the pic of the president with his penis hanging out (Not safe for work: political penis) (3news.co.nz)
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Sun May 20, 2012
Sat May 19, 2012
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Fire chief angry at 'idiots' for wasting his department's time and money when they have to rescue them from roof (bostonherald.com)
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| (Some Juggalo) |
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Clowning is a profession in rapid decline. "We reach out constantly to try to find the younger people to come forward and to join us." ...Yes, down here, where there's cotton candy, and rides, all sorts of surprises... balloons too (dispatch.com)
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Two Northern California cities dump redlight cameras. Subby's more partial to greenlights, anyway (thenewspaper.com)
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| (LEX18) |
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Businessman buys $200,000 worth of merchandise at closing Kmart store, donates it all to local county community services and also rents them a warehouse to keep it in (lex18.com)
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NASCAR All-Star racing starts at 7:00 ET on SPEED. Someone will surely explain the simple straightforward formula for getting into the race over there on the right (nascar.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The war on drugs is working: Police spend several weeks investigating drug dealer with a whole quarter ounce of marijuana (host.madison.com)
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The USS Iowa will make its final mission Sunday, as it departs the San Francisco Bay on its final voyage to LA to become a floating museum (contracostatimes.com)
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Boot shaped chicken nugget from Quikmart up for auction. Yes you read that correctly (upi.com)
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NASA's Google Map shows where tomorrow night's annular eclipse can be seen from Earth. Sorry, states not named California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, New Mexico, and Texas (pcworld.com)
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Australian golfer shoots lowest round of golf ever recorded with 12 birdies, two eagles. FARK: His partner shoots a 69 and loses by 14 strokes (deadspin.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Scott Walker: We started making up job numbers, so lets branch out and try making up credit card numbers for donations (addictinginfo.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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SWAT team arrests Chicago protesters for the heinous crime of...making beer. Glad we're safe from THAT particular scourge (chicago.cbslocal.com)
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"Captain, we're going to take a look in your pilot's case." "OK, let's see. Nav charts, gun, log book." "How long have you been flying with the gun?" "Oh, at least two days" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Lucky Luke: A man's implanted heart defibrillator may have saved his life in an unexpected way, by stopping a knife during an attack ack ack ack (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Stanford University) |
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Interactive online simulation allows you to chart a route through the Roman world circa 200 AD. It's like a Google Maps for the Ancient Roman Empire. And hey, I found the brothel your mom worked at. It's marked with an enormous X (orbis.stanford.edu)
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Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan party at Hollywood home until 7am with predictable results (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (press republican.com) |
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Bushytail, a baby squirrel who fell out of his nest, has been adopted - by a feline who recently gave birth to five kittens. While all animals are welcome on Caturday, this is starting to get a little weird (pressrepublican.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Are Amazon reviewers replacing professional critics? I give this article 3 stars, because they wouldn't let me give it 2.5 stars (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)
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Fri May 18, 2012
Thu May 17, 2012
| (Long Island Press) |
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LIRR train kills man. Earth on verge of war with Omicron Persei 8 (longislandpress.com)
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Andrew Breitbart was never a "Birther" but Barack Hussein Obama's first literary agency, Acton & Dystel was (breitbart.com)
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Jenny McCarthy reveals that she is in desperate need of money (starpulse.com)
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Security experts claim that if you're carrying a laptop or a smartphone in Chicago this week, you might come under a cyber attack because people may think you're part of the NATO summit (suntimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Google Earth: Product Placement Central (technology.gather.com)
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Is Obama an American? Colorado congressman says "not in his heart" (thedenverchannel.com)
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The best part of waking up is "coffee tincture made by infusing grain alcohol and rum with cracked coffee beans " (foodandwine.com)
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Not news: Bartender walks female patron home. News: Thief tries to steal her purse. Fark: Bartender fights him off, gets stabbed eight times. Totalfark: He has no health insurance; the bar is hosting a fundraiser to pay his bills. Can we help? (wtop.com)
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Azithromycin may increase the likelihood of sudden death in adults, especially those who have heart issues. Hey, my dentist prescribes that for me, because of my heart operation. Seriously she does. THUD (nytimes.com)
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Obama expects a "serious bipartisan approach" to tackling the budget and growing federal deficit this year. Oh wait, he's serious, let me laugh even harder (upi.com)
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A 19th Century Bart Simpson placed history's first prank phone call to Mo's Funeral Home (networkworld.com)
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Newest urban scourge? Geese. Department of Natural Resources: They'll be handled by the coyotes, which will be handled by the gorillas, which come winter, will simply freeze to death (ajc.com)
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After decades of being largely ignored, Atlanta's sizable group of transvestite prostitutes have decided to start group muggings to get themselves back in the spotlight (11alive.com)
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In the near future, people will read this article to learn more about the debacle of Men in Black III, which only exists because Will Smith had an idea for a time-travel movie (latimes.com)
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| (The Big Picture) |
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Brief history of how lobbyists and banks whittled away at Glass-Steagall over time until it was gone. Kind of like Lisa and Bart saying "Can we have a pool, Dad?" until Homer relents (ritholtz.com)
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When you buy your Facebook stock today, understand that Goldman is selling 1/2 of their stock in Facebook, and sit smug knowing you're smarter than Goldman (bloomberg.com)
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Ten homages the new My Little Pony cartoon has made, from Jesus from The Big Lebowski to Q. That might explain this Brony phenomenon (toplessrobot.com)
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| (Some T.O.M) |
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Toonami Returns to the Cartoon Network, and it may not even contain any wrestling, reality shows, or stiflingly unfunny live-action shows aimed at stoners (animenewsnetwork.com)
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Wed May 16, 2012
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North American fish populations slowly crawling back from disaster. Let's see if we can get them to crawl towards the tartar sauce (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Problem 1: Minor girls drinking in your bar. Problem 2: Cops are walking in. Solution: Stick them in the kitchen, tell cops they're your cooks. Problem 3: They don't know how to start the grill (wlfi.com)
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Height, weight, size, girth, tight, skinny, tan, rich, petite, jacked, strong, confident, go-getter, blast at parties, awesome fashion sense, musically adept, great cook, great in bed, etc, etc (gizmodo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"The giant penis artwork "Gaia" measuring over 4 metres was...blown up during a controlled explosion" (austrianindependent.com)
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You know you're homeless when your husband rubbing and massaging your back is actually his attempt to secretly stuff stolen Pop-Tarts and Slim Jims into your pockets (wptv.com)
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Iranian rapper Shahin Najafi starts feud with an ayatollah. That's gangsta (news.yahoo.com)
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With all the hype over Facebook's IPO, one question is starting to be asked quietly again and again... what exactly does Facebook *do*? (abcnews.go.com)
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Scientists discover earth-like planet emitting infared glow. Still striking out on that whole warp-drive thing (scientificamerican.com)
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SURPRISE. The recently released video by James O'Keefe "exposing" voter fraud is fabricated bullsh*t. Breitbart still scrubbing toilets in hell (thinkprogress.org)
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Four Alabama men fined for stealing cultural artifacts. In other news, proof now exists that at some time in the remote past, there was actually some culture in Alabama (wrcbtv.com)
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| (The Restart Page) |
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Computer restarts from days gone by, all for your clicking pleasure. Christ, I'm old (therestartpage.com)
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Russian satellite captures highest-resolution image of Earth ever. Something must be wrong with this monitor, I can't see America (foxnews.com)
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Paleontologists determine that Pliosaurs had arthritis. Still no cure for cancer (abcnews.go.com)
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Female genitalia... or Pac-man? (SFW) (3news.co.nz)
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You are the home plate umpire, and you are restarting a game after a rain delay. Here's your checklist: 1. Home Team on the field 2. Visiting team at bat. 3. Mask. 4. Indicator....oh, thats right, 5. The rest of your crew (mlb.mlb.com)
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Not that it will change the opinion of a single person one way or the other, but the prosecution's own records show the Zimmerman had two black eyes, a broken nose, and two cuts on the back of his head the night Trayvon Martin was shot (azcentral.com)
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Wal*Mart set to build Alabama location over burial plots of 80 slaves, stage most appropriate haunting in the South (nytimes.com)
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67-year-old man dies after receiving lapdances. That's one way to get 10 dances in a row without paying (NSFW images below article) (dailymail.co.uk)
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As if being in WalMart isn't trauma enough, NJ man sues WalMart for $1 million after being "traumatized" by a 16-year-old's racist remark (hosted.ap.org)
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If you like dogs, you will love giant dogs (NSFW images below article) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Seattle Police Department claims Justice Department proposal is unreasonable, says it will be too expensive to stop its officers from randomly bludgeoning innocent people (seattlepi.com)
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Venture Beat uses FARK commentary in their article about the Error 37 Diablo III failure (venturebeat.com)
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Tue May 15, 2012
| (McClatchy) |
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Quietly, the Republican Party embraces gays, adjusts stance (mcclatchydc.com)
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Martha, fetch the shotgun: The trombonists are swarming (washingtonpost.com)
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| (UFC) |
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It's UFC on FUEL TV 3: The Korean Zombie vs. Dustin Poirier. Preliminary action starts at 5:30 ET on Facebook, Main card at 8:30 ET on Fuel TV (ufc.com)
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Kristen Stewart should never pose next to Charlize Theron again (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
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Romney: Debt is like a prairie fire. Scientists: Prairie Fires are actually an important part of the ecosystem that prevented the prairie from becoming forest. Also, American Prairie is almost non-existent these days (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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ESPN relaunches 30 for 30, this time with short films instead of full length documentaries. They start out with the most depressing goddamn film they have - a day in the life of Pete Rose (grantland.com)
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Jet's quarterbacks coach says Tebow has, "good mechanics." Wait a minute. That can't be right. Must be a typo.... No. Nope. He said it (espn.go.com)
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Babies in walkers wielding lawn darts are coming to kill us all (cbc.ca)
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| (SlashGear) |
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Siri: I'm sorry, did I say that the Lumia 900 4G by Nokia was the best smartphone? I'm sorry, I misunderstood your question. My mistake, won't happen again (slashgear.com)
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Ever notice that when you yawn, your dog yawns with you? Now there is science to back it up. Also, bet you can't finish reading this article without yawning (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Twitchy) |
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Out: centrist third party; In: centrist emo party (twitchy.com)
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Air Force accidentally fills entire hangar with foam. Sheriff Carter is NOT going to be happy about this (gizmodo.com)
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| (NBCMiami) |
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How you like that? Miami fire captain demoted for disparaging Facebook post about Trayvon Martin (nbcmiami.com)
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| (Taste of Country) |
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Taylor Swift fans miss concert because of drunk driver. Weeping messenger bluebirds dispatched; Swift's woodland headquarters immediately goes on Rainbow Alert (tasteofcountry.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarking snakes in this motherfarking Walmart (standard.net)
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Nanny state sends police to a toddler's birthday party because. A) Parents got in a fight. B) Pedophile was present. C) Mom tried to light the candles (thesun.co.uk)
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Comic art legend Neal Adams to draw X-Men prequel mini-series starring Wolverine and a Nazi-hunting Magneto. No word yet whether the Expanding Earth Theory will be involved (io9.com)
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When a company has a monopoly they can raise power rates for the 7th time in 11 years and then throw a lavish party the next day (cbc.ca)
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Mon May 14, 2012
Sun May 13, 2012
Sat May 12, 2012
Fri May 11, 2012
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IPhone user: 'Siri, what's the world's best smartphone?' Siri: 'The Nokia Lumia 900.' Wait, what? (examiner.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Friday night fights Bellator 68 / Legacy Fighting Championship 11 / The Ultimate Fighter: Live / etc. discussion super-combo thread. First fights start at 7pm eastern (bellator.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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What do you do when your state has just publically embarrassed you? Start a war with Mississippi of course (abclocal.go.com)
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Jenny McCarthy's reign of terror continues in Washington state (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Buffy site) |
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When should you stake a vampire? A handy flowchart for "Buffy" fans (btvsonline.com)
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Josh Beckett contrite and apologetic with the media after getting hammered in his first start after Golf-Gate. Haha, just kidding, he's a robodouche (boston.com)
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Remember when Elizabeth Warren was accused of lying about her ethnicity to get special treatment? Turns out that not only is she part Cherokee, but she also never even claimed that on admission forms or employment applications (huffingtonpost.com)
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Defense Department Joint Forces Staff College advocates 'total war' on Islam using "the historical precedents of Dresden, Tokyo, Hiroshima, Nagasaki" to Makkah and Medinah (wired.com)
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Most US students fail at science, don't understand that if they aren't part of the solution....they are part of the precipitate (ocregister.com)
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"My main motivation was to make money off the controversy," says man selling Trayvon Martin gun range targets (clickorlando.com)
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Kristen Stewart left po-faced after being evicted from Charlize Theron's private jet (ok.co.uk)
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Comic book artist Tony DeZuniga, who co-created Jonah Hex, is dead at age 71. Sadly, he did live long enough to see his most famous creation on the big screen (digitalspy.com)
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Thu May 10, 2012
Wed May 09, 2012
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Imprompteux Nola Fark Party shaping up for Friday night at Cooter Brown's... DIT (fark.com)
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Josh Beckett was golfing with Clay Buchholz just two days before he missed s start due to muscle stiffness. But at least he wasn't eating chicken and drinking beer (espn.go.com)
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| (DailyShowUnited) |
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Delta pulled its commercials from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart because it listened to a guy who once said "Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity" (dailyshowunited.com)
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If LoLCats make us smarter, we should have cured cancer by now (news.com.au)
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| (Some Guy) |
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From the 'It's about god damned time' department: DOJ plans to sue Sheriff Joe over allegations of civil rights violations (abc15.com)
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Article hints at why Obama may be "coming out" tonight and changing his stance on gay marriage: "A review of those who have brought in $500,000 or more for the campaign shows that about one in six are gay" (washingtonpost.com)
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Keane: "Fake pop has taken over the charts." Remember, folks, use only certified, genuine pop for your pop needs (nme.com)
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Bill Romanowski says Cris Carter's pants are on fire (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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In the "I knew it all along" department, that "revenge-filled dentist pulled out ex-boyfriend's teeth" article was a hoax (news.yahoo.com)
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When Breitbart blogger told a Tea Party crowd they had to kill Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) because she's an "evil monster," he didn't mean they had to actually KILL her. Why do you libs have to take everything so seriously? (mediamatters.org)
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Secret X37B Space Plane a 'Spectacular Success,' except for the Secret part (news.yahoo.com)
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Ke$ha working with Iggy Pop on second album. How can you tell them apart? (gigwise.com)
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Kristen Stewart is a closet planker (ok.co.uk)
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A mass brawl forced the abandonment of a crucial Romanian league derby. The goalkeeper ran after the scorer as he celebrated and pushed him to the ground. And everything started there (eitb.com)
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Today is Howard Carter's 138th birthday. Egyptians celebrate by breaking into his tomb (en.wikipedia.org)
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You are a convicted sex offender. Released early do you: A) Right the wrongs of the past, B) Start an awareness campaign against sex abuse, or C) fire up some porn on your laptop in a crowded McDonald's? (wsbtv.com)
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Those F-16 parts you're buying on Craigslist? The seller may be a no-show. Bonus: News video of the story shows an F-15 (kmov.com)
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AOL somehow managed to make money in the first quarter of 2012 (deadline.com)
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Cris Carter admits he used to put bounties on players who were trying to injure him, which means the Saints are to be awarded three Super Bowls and Jonathan Vilma is automatically President (espn.go.com)
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You get the feeling from reading this Mets article that the author is a Fark reader (nydailynews.com)
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| (tech news daily) |
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Nielsen survey finds that older white men have the fewest number of smart phones, most VCRs still flashing 12:00 (technewsdaily.com)
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Dick Lugar does not go gently into that good night, lashes out at the Tea Party upstart who defeated him, giving Democrats plenty of ammunition for the November election (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Avengers 2 has been greenlit. Your Wednesday Avengers natter starts here. Avengers. Hulk Smash. Shwarma (tv.yahoo.com)
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Seattle Times thinks this Fark headline is a real winner. "Redskins officially name RG3 as starting quarterback, ending weeks of non-speculation" (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Andy Pettitte gets called up to AAAA ball, will start against Seattle on Sunday (msn.foxsports.com)
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Tue May 08, 2012
| (Some Swinger) |
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First Dodge Dart leaves the factory, begins rusting (rrstar.com)
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Four elimination games tonight as the Magic, Bulls, Hawks, and Nuggets each try to stay alive. Fun starts at 7pm eastern in tonight's first round NBA Playoff thread (sports.yahoo.com)
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Industries dependent on massive government handouts to even pretend that they make a profit, upset at these Tea Party people think that the government shouldn't prop up failing industries in favor of successful companies (hotair.com)
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Man stabs party-goers after cake dispute. No lie (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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| (ABC Cleveland) |
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The guys who tried to blow up a bridge in Cleveland weren't part of the Occupy movement, except for the one they featured on their website. Or the dozens of Occupy members who showed up to give support (newsnet5.com)
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SAVE THE DATE - Amsterdam Fark Party on Sept. 29 - Scheduled to appear: Drew (fark.com)
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The weirdest part of the Met Gala...Tom Brady's hair (newser.com)
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Twilight star Kristen Stewart channels a 1980s prostitute at the Met Ball (ok.co.uk)
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Bowling alley bandits steal $30,000 in brazen robbery. Article has devastating puns-per-paragraph value and mugshot you can add to your collection (huffingtonpost.com)
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Vikings release their highest scorer, because clearly there's something wrong with him if he's willing to be a part of such a spectacular failure (espn.go.com)
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Asshat starts chanting "choke, choke" while a girl is choking on a piece of food. Guess who got arrested? (nwfdailynews.com)
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| (Pharyngula) |
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Yesterday's news: Dinosaurs killed off by their own farts. Fark: The paper did not say that. Über-Obvious: One would think that no one would be dumb enough to get their science news from Fox News (freethoughtblogs.com)
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Today is the 45th anniversary of the Battle of Con Thien. This is where subby's father was awarded the Bronze Star, and the Purple Heart. "Whatever It Takes" (youtube.com)
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Apparently unsatisfied with killing the photographer from the coroner's office, Obama's minions have now caused a witness to Breitbart's death to disappear. Either that or the guy just stopped taking calls from Wingnut Daily (wnd.com)
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When you drink, you pass out in the yard. When you pass out in the yard, your party guests can't see you. When your party guests can't see you, one of them will drive over you. Don't let your party guests drive over you (wrcbtv.com)
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| (Hudson Register-Star) |
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NY performance artist plans $15M theatre for long-duration works involving day-long staring exhibitions, plus a levitation hall and a crystal chamber where you can "absorb mineral energy" (registerstar.com)
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Mon May 07, 2012
Sun May 06, 2012
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Lawyer spends 11 years proving inmate's innocence. He offers to pay for her gender-reassignment surgery. "It was a very sweet gesture on his part," she said. "But he really needs to focus on taking care of himself first" (denverpost.com)
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Once again Warren Buffett is a lone voice of reason in the wilderness, standing apart from the small but powerful group of which he is a member. But why the hell is this in the Sports tab? (espn.go.com)
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Japanese "Lolita fashion" anime subculture in Mexico. Or: Mustaches and Sharpies for swarthy chicks (boingboing.net)
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A stream of highly charged particles from the sun is headed straight toward Earth. On the good side, you are probably going to die. On the other side, you probably will wish you did. It's not time to panic yet, but you should be ready to (latimes.com)
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Al-Qaeda extremists destroy the grave of a Muslim saint in Timbuktu. In other news, Timbuktu is an actual place, Muslims apparently have saints, and Al-Qaeda really sucks at the whole "winning hearts and minds" thing (news.yahoo.com)
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Not news: Heart surgeons discover new information on the structure of the mitral valve. News: After reading an essay written by Leonardo da Vinci 500 years ago (express.co.uk)
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This may come as a complete shock, but there are allegations that the runners of the prosperity Bible loving Trinity Broadcasting Network may be a bunch of scam artists (msnbc.msn.com)
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This year's Libertarian Party convention? Why yes, it did end up being a complete clusterfark (reason.com)
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Sat May 05, 2012
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Nanny state tells active five-year-old that she at risk of developing heart disease, cancer and diabetes because she is up to one stone heavier than she should be. With pictures of so-called fatty (mirror.co.uk)
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Han Solo: the Game: You and Chewbacca, running around the Outer Rim in the Falcon, smuggling, dog-fighting, breaking hearts -- all happening before the events in Star Wars... And 5 other great video games you'll never get to play (cracked.com)
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If Mozart were alive today to see this death metal drummer tackle his 25th symphony, a) he wouldn't be spinning in his grave, b) he'd envy Beethoven his deafness, c) he'd bang his head till his wig fell off (youtube.com)
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| (The Boot) |
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"I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out." - Ten quotes from Dolly Parton that show how witty she is (theboot.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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US government now considers global warming a national security threat, which I guess means we'll start bombing the shiat out of the Arctic soon (campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com)
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Victorian-inspired Star Wars artwork goes on display (mirror.co.uk)
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In tribute to Adam Yauch, Coldplay played (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party) at their show last night. And yes, there is video of the performance (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Dentists are now using fillings made of nano-sized particles that kill bacteria and strengthen your teeth. It almost makes you long for the good old days of fluoride in the water (mnn.com)
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Couple vows to visit all 735 Whataburger restaurants in the country or die of clogged arteries trying (elpasotimes.com)
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*The Password is "dead".* Bob Stewart, game show producer and co-creator of Password, The Price is Right, and Pyramid, is dead at 91 (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Statue of an obese nude woman that sits across the street from a church is vandalized with paint a few days after somebody covered it up with a burlap apron a few days after all the private parts were covered in dollar bills (azfamily.com)
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| (grist) |
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How to make your own bacon... and duck prosciutto, and pancetta, and pâté, and artisanal green chile chicken sausages (grist.org)
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Sorry I haven't paid my bills in six years but I'm trying to sell my $3.2m Aston Martin, which got stolen by a Yakuza boss who had me beaten up by martial arts experts when I tried to repossess it (stuff.co.nz)
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One hundred artists remember Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch (pastemagazine.com)
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Fri May 04, 2012
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Warrant issued after man has part of ear bitten off at bar. Still, that's gotta be better than most Scottish cuisine (news.stv.tv)
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A perfect example of why the Heartland Institute is not called the Brainland Institute, and why they probably should have been named after their more Floridian organs (washingtonpost.com)
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Dick Lugar (R-eally wishing his party wasn't crazy) losing to Tea Party challenger (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Hot Dog Eater) |
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"Detectives...became aware she was offering up more than kraut and relish from her hot dog cart" (newyork.cbslocal.com)
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Article asks: "How seriously should we take the growing church of Jediism?" Is this a trick question? (guardian.co.uk)
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After being completely ignored because of Wednesday's 3OT game in Washington, both Nashville & Phoenix agree to do the smart thing & be the only teams playing tonight. Faceoff @ 7:30 Eastern (tsn.ca)
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Will Rondo "trip on" another ref? Will the Bulls remember to play a second half against the Sixers? Will the Nuggets keep the Lakers under 100? Friday night NBA playoffs discussion thread? Why not? Games start at 7:30 ET (espn.go.com)
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| (Outside) |
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For the millionaire dirtbag climber comes a new indoor climbing wall that's more work of art than workout, is controlled by iPhone app (outsideonline.com)
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"The entire Obama campaign is a slice-and-dice operation, pandering to one group after another, particularly those that elected Obama in 2008 - blacks, Hispanics, women, young people - and for whom the thrill is now gone" (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Bellator) |
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Friday night fights, Bellator 67 discussion thread. Fights start at 7pm eastern (bellator.com)
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The designer of the London tube map turned cartography on its head...breaking all design rules...the map is now one of the most iconic images in the world (humansinvent.com)
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Why you should never film a Kickstarter video drunk (m.youtube.com)
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Reading and Southampton have already joined, and now West Ham, Birmingham City, Blackpool, and Cardiff fight to be the last team promoted to the Greatest Show on Earth. The Championship playoffs start today, here's your thread (footballleagueblog.dailymail.co.uk)
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| (The American Conservative) |
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Conservatives are starting to realize that opposition to gay marriage is a hopeless attempt to stop the tides (theamericanconservative.com)
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Even after 143 years, Major League Baseball manages another first as two starting pitchers squared off against each other on their birthday (mlb.mlb.com)
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Heart transplant patient may be the first person ever to see his own heart tissue beating outside his body-okay, OTHER THAN those who ran afoul of angry kung-fu masters or mystical Indian cults (news.yahoo.com)
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New noninvasive paternity test can now identify the father of the baby as early as the eighth week--or in NBA terms, a quarter of the season (yourlife.usatoday.com)
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UK government political party defeated in election by a man dressed as a penguin (local.stv.tv)
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The human element in baseball - Part 2: The generous strike zone called during Jered Weaver's no-hitter (deadspin.com)
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Godless communists at Google at it again, this time using their Doodle to celebrate the birthday of artist Keith Haring rather than the death of Dom DeLuise, the portly jester who lifted America's spirits in the Cannonball Run duology (google.com)
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| (Some WV Guy) |
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If you're going to steal copper wire, make sure it's not connected to the police department (wvgazette.com)
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Never-before-seen concept art from the David Cronenberg-directed "Total Recall" that never was (io9.com)
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California GOP calls press conference to advertise itself as "Party of Yes". Then immediately calls for "no" vote on tax proposition (blogs.sacbee.com)
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Thu May 03, 2012
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Goodwill Industries shows their good will and returns what might be may be 1,000-year-old Native American artifact to the Caddo Indian Nation (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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By the time you receive this, we'll be gone. We came from the Level Above Human in distant space and we have now exited the bodies that we were wearing for our earthly task, to return to the world from whence we came - task completed (lasvegas.cbslocal.com)
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Tea Party candidate dies during forum at Homer's Smorgasbord. That is all (610wiod.com)
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Pepsi advertising may only be partially responsible for Michael Jackson's death, but will be fully responsible for his resurrection (hitfix.com)
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The Prodigy's new album to be titled "How to Steal a Jet Fighter." Between that and starting all those fires, they're not very responsible (nme.com)
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It's like a politics tab Rorschach test: Do you fixate on the Obama bin Laden crack, or just start flinging poo? (theweek.com)
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The Bella Twins open up about their departure from the WWE. It's now real to them, dammit (bleacherreport.com)
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Iron clad proof that America will always have a two party political system (dailykos.com)
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Looking for unique venue to hold your kid's birthday party? Look no farther than your local funeral home. "We've done a bridal shower, a baby shower, a surprise birthday party" (firstcoastnews.com)
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| (South Bend Tribune) |
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Lack of speed and poor decision-making causes a candidate to drop out of the 4-man competition for ND quarterback (southbendtribune.com)
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| (Right Wing Watch) |
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Remember David Barton's appearance this week on The Daily Show? When he spoke about a five year old who was yelled at by a teacher for praying before eating his lunch in the school cafeteria? Yeah, about that (rightwingwatch.org)
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The bartender's first mistake was serving five beers and 13 shots of Jagermeister to a man and his pregnant girlfriend (nwfdailynews.com)
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| (Lohud.com) |
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Apart from the whole "house burning down in five minutes, killing everybody inside" part, engineered wood is a wonderful modern construction material (lohud.com)
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How you know your law firm is doomed: When the senior partners distribute a memo to partners "encouraging" them find a new job somewhere else (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you've recently been to New Zealand's East Coast and had a really good time, this article may help explain why it now hurts to pee (gisborneherald.co.nz)
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Thirteen-year-old student to Metropolitan Museum of Art: "Your map is wrong." OH SNAP (courant.com)
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Wed May 02, 2012
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"Frank McCourt is not involved in any shape and fashion. Frank is not here. He's not a part of the Dodgers any more. We should be clapping just for that" (sacbee.com)
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| (Art Info) |
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Art Info picks the Top 5 celebrity stories of the week and wishes to thank FARK for making #5 suddenly appear (artinfo.com)
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| (Slactory) |
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I was a teenage Meme: Heartwarming letters from Fat Emo Guy to the girl who counts to potato (slacktory.com)
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Garbage truck starts new underwater pickup route (wtam.com)
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Article on why Star Trek's vision of the future is out of date. "Because it was devised back in the 60s" surprisingly missing (io9.com)
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Paralyzed Rutgers defensive tackle gets signed by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, immediately moves to second on the depth chart (news.blogs.cnn.com)
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| (Antarctica Bar) |
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Reminder: NYC Fark Party tonight: 9pm Antarctica Bar on Hudson. Johnny Walker tasting is full, this is the afterparty (LGT location) (antarcticabar.com)
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Pfizer hoping their new Alzheimer, blood thinner and arthritis drugs will pillage the competition (bloomberg.com)
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Two players for the Nashville Predators suspended because they stayed out late partying the night before a playoff game. If the whole NHL thing doesn't work out for them they could always get a job with the Secret Service (azcentral.com)
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Say folks, would you like to become a rapist? Are rapists getting a bum deal in your part of the country? Worry no more fellas, I invite you to come to Montana, the land of trophy elk, big skies, and consequence-free rape (reuters.com)
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Cardboard cutout of Tim Tebow accompanies Iowa high schooler to prom, is expected to make the next Fark party (desmoinesregister.com)
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While most of the political focus is on Gingrich finally accepting the inevitable, one man maintains course and will give no quarter, show no mercy (slate.com)
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How ESPN hired, then fired, a scam artist (deadspin.com)
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This flying hovercraft can be yours for a cool quarter mil (eels extra) (thesun.co.uk)
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Tue May 01, 2012
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Boston Celtics hope to level in Atlanta, a Rose-less Chicago Bulls will try to stay ahead of Philadelphia in the series, and Denver will try to steal a game from the Lakers. It's your occasional NBA playoffs thread. Games start at 7:30pm EST (espn.go.com)
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Articles "for women" that should be banned, including everything between the covers of Cosmo (theatlanticwire.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Try to pass a real $50 bill at a Quick Mart in Tennessee? That's a jailin' (t-g.com)
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The Florida of the hamburger world clogs the arteries of another quarter (jsonline.com)
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President Jed Bartlet and the cast of The West Wing reunite for a silly pro-walking PSA (funnyordie.com)
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As Romney keeps saying that even Carter would have killed bin Laden, let's remember that Carter is a graduate of the Naval Academy who served for 10 years. That's 10 years more than the cumulative service of the Romney family (theatlantic.com)
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"Transformer Raiders: Epic Fail". This is not an article about Shia LaBeouf (big1059.com)
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Dear Prudence: "My wife is very proper and would never pass gas in public (or even semi-private), but when we have sex she farts. A lot, sometimes" (slate.com)
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Senior Citizen Attacks Golfing Bachelor Party. Tells them to respect their elders ... as he drives a golf cart into them (newser.com)
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The 37 saddest failed Kickstarter projects. "I have taken so many dumb part-time jobs to keep it going that it is embarrassing and tiring" (buzzfeed.com)
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Orlando magically disappears in the third quarter (nba.com)
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So you know that impending student loan rate crisis that's about to destroy our nation and has both parties tearing each other apart (again)? Yeah, turns out it's not really much of a crisis at all (usatoday.com)
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In a shocking do-it-yourself article, you may be using the wrong extension cord (gizmodo.com)
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Instead of making a crappy movie based on fake events, why didn't Hollywood use a real story of Edgar Allan Poe's art being imitated by life? (ramblingbeachcat.com)
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| (Last Angry Fan) |
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Liverpool fan rushes onto the pitch and hugs Luis Suarez, then simulates masturbation before mooning the crowd. Or as they call it in Italy, fan participation (lastangryfan.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Unattended multi-million dollar mansions in San Diego are being raided by groups of up to 400 very hard-partying teens. "The house was trashed. Vomit, cigarette butts, bottles everywhere" (10news.com)
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From the "I Want To Party With Her" files: Woman caught shoplifting Coppertone Dry Oil, Modelo beer, Pepsi, Bubba keg, Combo ink, Tampax tampons, shampoo, Energizer batteries, and Venus razors (nwfdailynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Geek who never missed a day of school since kindergarten is graduating soon, valedictorian, and wants to study engineering. Fark: She's also captain of the cheerleading team, and yes, there's a photo (westhawaiitoday.com)
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Mon April 30, 2012
Sun April 29, 2012
Sat April 28, 2012
Fri April 27, 2012
Thu April 26, 2012
Wed April 25, 2012
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Not news: Americans solicit prostitute while traveling abroad. News: They're government officials and broke her collar bone after refusing to pay the agreed price. Fark: This isn't part of the Secret Service fiasco (dailymail.co.uk)
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"Artist" constructs life-size mummy out of McDonald's food to make a point about modern society, or something (gawker.com)
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| (LA Weekly) |
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The original Southern California Darts Association hits the mark with a Federal injunction preventing Dino "Pebbles" Zaffina from using their 30 year old trademark (blogs.laweekly.com)
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It's all or nothing tonight as the Bruins face the Caps on home ice in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals. One shall stand, one shall fall. 7:30PM ET (nhl.com)
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Some of the Secret Service Agents did not have sex with the hookers because they were too drunk. Also, Secret Service Agents on Bill Clinton's detail went to a Brazilian strip club, though that was part of their protective duties (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Karl Rove is trying to be the Conservative voice of reason, warning fellow party members trying to link Obama to the Secret Service Scandal and GSA was a bad idea (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Wal-Mart pushed to change bribery laws it violated (huffingtonpost.com)
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Howard Johnson to offer free hotel stays to men named Don Draper. You'll have to pay for your own martinis, though (cnews.canoe.ca)
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How did oil get miles under the Earth if the dinosaurs lived on the top of the Earth? (wnd.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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All porno movies produced in Simi Valley must now be reviewed by city's police department to ensure proper condom use. Breathless, sweaty detectives promise to put in as many hours as it takes to service protection (losangeles.cbslocal.com)
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Mexican drug cartel assassin lived in a wretched hive of scum and villainy: Sandusky, Ohio (cnn.com)
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Separate ways, but no longer worlds apart: Journey, Steve Perry reunion could happen on farewell tour (tampabay.com)
|
Tue April 24, 2012
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Two years after signing a 4-year-deal worth $46 million, Darrelle Revis wants more money, 67 copies of Moby Dick, and naked pictures of Bea Arthur (msn.foxsports.com)
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| (Business Insider) |
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Russia sends R.S.V.P. reply for gracious invitation to summer mega-party "IranSlam 2012". All are reminded it's BYOB (articles.businessinsider.com)
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Chien-Ming would like to apologize to all of you for dipping his Wang in a bartender (deadspin.com)
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The best way to mark the Queen's 60 years on the throne is with. A) A huge party. B) A statue. C) A commemorative can of beans (dailymail.co.uk)
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Here's what will NOT get you fired from the Fargo, N.D., Police Department: a) Having sex with a teenager in your squad car, and b) leaving your squad car unlocked, allowing a thief to steal handcuffs, Taser, ammo and bulletproof vest (duluthnewstribune.com)
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NY Yankee Andruw Jones uses Texas Ranger fan as his outfield toss warm up partner. (w/video) (deadspin.com)
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Shaky ceasefire holds in Syrian city of Hama, if by 'shaky' you mean attacking neighborhoods with tanks, mortar fire and artillery (aljazeera.com)
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Rays minor leaguers to get more wood on it, really start spanking the balls once Hideki Matsui and his massive porn collection arrive in Durham (tampabay.com)
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"Whether you've had some form of head trauma that has caused you to like Barack Obama or like all good hearted people, you can't stand him, his performance has objectively been terrible" (townhall.com)
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Deep down in places you don't talk about you know. You want the Department of Homeland Security on that wall. YOU NEED THEM ON THAT WALL. Protecting us from counterfeit NFL jerseys (baltimoresun.com)
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Artwork and character designs for Before Watchmen have surfaced, and they just look great, though artwise it's hard to top Dave Gibson. Storywise, though, it won't be a problem (comicsalliance.com)
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MarketWatch is soliciting questions to ask Ben Bernanke. Farkers, start your engines (marketwatch.com)
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Oriole starter Dontrelle Willis, assigned to AAA bullpen duty, decides to: A) work harder B) throw extra batting practice innings C) go AWOL (deadspin.com)
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Inside the GOP's anti-Obama "war room" where the best minds of the party wrestle with how Obama can be a Communist AND a Fascist, and whether he's a secret Muslim or a devoted Follower of the Rev, Wright (news.yahoo.com)
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"Does Mitt Romney have a Latino problem?" This article is not about his maid service, lawn care, or chauffeur (610wiod.com)
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After being ridiculed by Jon Stewart last night Steve Doocey give a rare retraction on this morning's Fox and Friends. Unlike some people (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Judge finds that Microsoft, who recently sued Google device makers for patent infringement, is infringing on Motorola's, (which is owned by Google) patents with it's Xbox 360. Can we scrap the current system just start over please? (news.yahoo.com)
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Mon April 23, 2012
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The Heart Attack Grill claims its second victim. Someone should open more of these, they are clearly helping chlorinate the gene pool (azcentral.com)
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"The Avengers" is tracking 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. HULK SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH ARTHOUSE CRITICS (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)
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Eyeless shrmp, pillowfights in lieu of NFL kickoffs, and earthquake research at the Sybian Building: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/15 - 4/21 (fark.com)
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"Prostate surgery... acute urinary retention... heart attack..." "Things that are serious, things that doctors oversee, THINGS THAT APPEAR ON DICK CLARK'S DEATH CERTIFICATE" (tmz.com)
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The Republican Party's economic platform in 2012: What Bush did, "just updated" (thinkprogress.org)
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Forest Whitaker adopts elementary school as part of a new NEA project (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)
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| (Some Guy with a Fax Machine) |
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Jon Stewart: "I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." Catholic League: We're getting to Jon Stewart (catholicleague.org)
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Artist tosses 1000 peoples' salads, and boy is her tongue tired (npr.org)
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Winner of Best New Chef 2011 award is former vegetarian who learned how to cook animals nose-to-tail and is now devoted carnivore with all his heart, liver, and tongue (bbc.co.uk)
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From the 'well that didn't take long' department, John Huntsman is already backing down on his comparison between the GOP and Communist China (latimes.com)
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Author of article "how to delete yourself from the Internet" apparently thinks that's possible without setting off EMP devices to fry every Internet connected computer on earth simultaneously (news.yahoo.com)
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Extremely rare adult white killer whale spotted in the wild with his black counterparts. The whale appears to be healthy, socialized, not followed by mall security (bbc.co.uk)
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13-year-old girl sued for accidentally hitting a classmate in the eye with a tennis ball during a tennis lesson. This is why someday soon you're going to be forced to buy third-party insurance if you want your child to play sports (couriermail.com.au)
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University of Florida cuts computer science department to save $1.7 million, adds $2 million to athletic department (forbes.com)
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Sun April 22, 2012
Sat April 21, 2012
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Levon Helm hated The Last Waltz, aka "Martin Scorcese Presents The Robbie Robertson Show, Starring Robbie Robertson with music by Robbie Robertson, a Tyler Perry Production" (slate.com)
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Orrin Hatch falls to the Tea Party, will now be forced to run for reelection (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Can young Rory Calhoun McDonald KO Che Mills? Will the Martian Manhunter take down Rashad Evans? It's UFC 145, Prelims begin at 6:30 PM ET on Facebook, 8 PM ET on FX, Main card at 10 PM ET on PPV (withleather.uproxx.com)
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| (Popular Archaeology) |
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Scholars, librarians and citizens hiding priceless ancient manuscripts and artifacts from Tuareg rebels in Timbuktu. In other news, Timbuktu is a real place (popular-archaeology.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: UFO video over France is enhanced. Still don't know what the Fark it is. News: France is starting to look like Milwaukee (news.gather.com)
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Twin Cities Fark Party TONIGHT April 21st, Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge. Now with 17% more out-of-towner (fark.com)
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Paul McCartney, David Bowie, and Phish will be releasing limited edition 45s today for Record Store Day. Tomorrow, those same artists will be releasing limited edition coachwhips for Buggy Whip Store day (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)
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Ending 114-year-old tradition, Arizona to install artificial turf at home football stadium. Continuing even longer tradition, Arizona to miss Rose Bowl and lose whatever garbage postseason bowl they enter (azstarnet.com)
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| (MSNBC) |
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California State university student gets a head start on his career as a politician by stealing 700 voter IDs to win President of Student Government (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)
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Andrew Breakheart (huffingtonpost.com)
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If you're going to make a case for more art in your city there are more compelling ways to do it than a toilet on a pedestal in the city square (daytondailynews.com)
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Today's non-cancer-curing scientific research: "a Christian with a brain injury is going to feel closer to God while a person raised as an atheist might feel more spiritually connected to the earth" (kansascity.com)
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Fri April 20, 2012
Thu April 19, 2012
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Man in Japan orders a burger with 1,050 slices of bacon on it. Your move, arteries (break.com)
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Prosecutors in the Trayvon Martin case have filed... ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ THAT MUST BE GENE GENE THE DANCING MACHINE (youtube.com)
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Not content to rest on their laurels after developing artificial intelligence that will soon surpass humans at the same time as they're building hunter-killer drones, scientists have now invented synthetic DNA that replicates and evolves (io9.com)
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Photoshop this art for auction (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com)
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No proof bad gums cause heart disease, just don't breathe on me, okay? (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)
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George Zimmerman wants a private meeting with the parents of Trayvon Martin. Preferably in a dark alley on a cool, rainy day (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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California school board fires high school science teacher, deciding that her appearances in Big Sausage Pizza videos were not the equivalent of a master's degree (Borderline NSFW images in article) (thesmokinggun.com)
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The Colts intend to draft Andrew Luck with the first pick of the draft. He looks forward to a long and successful career in Indianapolis being overshadowed by whomever is quarterback for the New England Patriots (indystar.com)
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Remember that earthquake that hit Washington, DC last year? Check out photo number 20 (theatlantic.com)
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Coca-Cola profit rises 8% in the first quarter. Dentists brace for second quarter earnings surge (usatoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Auto-parts shortage threatens Detroit as commentators fail to note that you can get all kinds of parts just by following an American-built car and picking them off the road as they fall off (northjersey.com)
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| (Business Insider) |
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Starting in 2015 your car will record every action you take. The government and police will never ever abuse this data or use it for personal reasons. Pinky swear (businessinsider.com)
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After initially turning down his invite to be part of the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park ceremony, Terry Francona sees the fans reaction to Bobby Valentine, reconsiders and decides to attend. Maximum Trolling (boston.com)
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WebProNews picks up the story of Drew's TED talk with a featured full page article (webpronews.com)
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FDA proposes corn syrup to be called corn sugar. In similar news saturated fat to be renamed artery thickener (usatoday.com)
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An abandoned village in Belgium is left to natural reclamation, slowly morphing into the countryside. Then came the graffiti artists (io9.com)
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Democratic strategist to Tea Partier live on Fox News "You don't know what the F**K you are talking about" (youtube.com)
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Bad: two cops beat the crap out of a kid for fun. HERO: Officer Regina Tasca intervenes and stops the beating. Fark/obvious: Police department rules Regina Tasca "psychologically unfit" to be a police officer (reason.com)
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Wed April 18, 2012
Tue April 17, 2012
Mon April 16, 2012
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Tea Party speaker: "We will not be silenced by f*ggots." Clearly this is a tea-party colloquialism that somehow relates to economic issues. Perhaps he meant "Keynesian acolytes" (huffingtonpost.com)
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The elusive Majorana Fermion may have been found after decades of searching; the subatomic particle (which is its own antiparticle) was first theorized in 1937 (msnbc.msn.com)
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Lada retires model first released in 1982, just when it's finally starting to look cool again (life.nationalpost.com)
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Research finds a strong correlation between body art (piercings and/or tattoos) and unsafe sex, fighting, heavy drinking, and participating in completely obvious studies (news.com.au)
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| (Some Guy) |
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One month after being stretchered off a soccer field after his heart stopped beating for 78 minutes Fabrice Muamba walked out of hospital today (football365.com)
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Part-time municipal prosecutor arrested for his day job as a criminal attorney. A *CRIMINAL* attorney (nj.com)
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Two gorgeous spiral galaxies have dark secrets in their hearts (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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An important, well researched article on how America conducts its aerial wars and assassinations in secret, though it drones on for a bit (rollingstone.com)
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Scientists build a five-story building on top of a shake plate to simulate earthquake damage. Engineers say the Sybian Building will help them determine how quakes affect modern structures (utsandiego.com)
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Romney offering "preferred status" to Inauguration for donors who cough up $50,000. Still unsure where the party tent will be set up to get a good view of Obama's swearing in, though (buzzfeed.com)
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Max Zorn: Not Your Ordinary Cut N' Paste Artist (youtube.com)
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Dwyane Wade in post-game interview discusses the game, his teammates, and the particular shade of dress the sideline reporter is wearing (youtube.com)
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Feeding tubes, once reserved for the comatose and the terminally ill, have now become a hip fashion accessory as they are part of the latest diet craze (gma.yahoo.com)
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If there's a better photograph of Al Pacino and Christopher Walken anywhere on earth, subby hasn't seen it (shortlist.com)
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American Nazi Party gets its first lobbyist. Know who else lobbied the Germans? (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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A look into the secret world of art forgery and the science behind recognising a fake...did you know fakes are hanging in the English National Gallery? (humansinvent.com)
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Indian child, separated by circumstance from his family at five and adopted by Australians, finds his mom over 20 years later by using Google Earth (news.cnet.com)
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Sun April 15, 2012
Sat April 14, 2012
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Senator Orrin Hatch (R-eally pissed) is "doggone offended" by "radical libertarians," threatens to punch them in the mouth. Ah, the sound of a neo-con where the tea party is challenging his incumbency (reason.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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When asked if she would consider running for President, Dolly Parton responds, "We've had enough boobs in the White House" (foxnewsinsider.com)
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Tampa Fark party at Tiny Tap on May 5, because, why not? Anyone in? (fark.com)
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CNN headline: "The South: Not all Bubbas and banjos." Entire article about Bubba (cnn.com)
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Study finds correlation between number of Walmarts in a county and number of local hate groups -- although to be fair, some of the groups might just hate Walmart (newser.com)
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Over 1,000 hayseeds descend on the Quad Cities to partake in a massive Square and Circle Dancing competition. "We call things like scissors to banjo and scissors sidecar" (qctimes.com)
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In an amazing feat of journalistic gymnastics, here's an 1800-word article on the John Edwards trial that manages to mention the word "Republican" five times in varying sinister ways - and "Democrat" not at all (theatlantic.com)
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| (Some Granny) |
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73 yr old grandma who supplied 40% of the marijuana to Tulsa and parts of Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri arrested with 4 lbs of pot, 2 guns and $276,000 in cash (thedaily.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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When a Craigslist posting starts with "If you're a dude with a red Mohawk who recently got lucky at a Motörhead/Megadeth concert in the bathroom at the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago..." you know it's going to end up on Fark (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)
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Fri April 13, 2012
Thu April 12, 2012
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The best stop motion beaded art animation you're going to see today (kotaku.com)
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Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher is into his own brand of fantasy football during the off season with Hollywood hottie Jenny McCarthy. #hescores (bittenandbound.com)
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Heartless creep zips six puppies into his suitcase and throws it in the garbage. Fortunately for the puppies, he seems to be about as intelligent as President Skroob when it comes to his luggage (nydailynews.com)
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Do: use Facebook to communicate with others during an earthquake. Don't: use Facebook to try and sell fried chicken to evacuees during an earthquake (myfoxdc.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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And now for something completely different: An impartial, unbiased, and thorough article by ExxonMobil concludes that petroleum is the best fuel for cars (exxonmobilperspectives.com)
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Ron Paul is not planning on endorsing Mitt Romney anytime soon. And by anytime, we mean never. As in, "From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee. To the last, I will grapple with thee" (wrcbtv.com)
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President Obama's second-term agenda is the missing piece in his re-election plan. We could start with.. Where are the Farking Jobs? (news.yahoo.com)
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An article that combines "Scarlett Johansson", "thumbs up", and "porn shop" is relevant to subby's interest (metro.co.uk)
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Wed April 11, 2012
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"Yes, hello? Is this the I.T. department? Can you help me fix my toilet? No? How about find me a video of Elvis?" (610wiod.com)
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I knew it was an acid bomb when the mailbox started melting. And talking. Groovy (sun-sentinel.com)
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Prosecutor confirms Zimmerman will be charged in the Trayvon Martin shooting, assuming they can find the guy (nymag.com)
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Wind farms form artifiical reefs which benefit many fishes such as the goldsinny-wrasse, eelpout and lumpfish. Eelpout. Eelpout. Eelpout. Headline exists solely for benefit of eelpouts, crossword puzzle buffs (sciencedaily.com)
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Red Sox: Hey, sorry about when you quit and we released a story saying you lost control of the team and you were hepped up on goofballs; please come back for our Fenway 100th birthday party? Terry Francona: LOLNO (espn.go.com)
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AG Eric Holder will give The Martin/Zimmerman case a thorough review, likely with the same level of care and attentiveness that was applied to the "Fast and Furious" program. Nothing like kowtowing to Sharpton in an election year (news.yahoo.com)
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In terrible news for the rest of the American League, after signing Prince Fielder under the assumption that they'd lost Victor Martinez for the season, doctors now saying Martinez could return as early as August (mlive.com)
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| (Some Finger Biter) |
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Headline: "Vancouver businesses don't fear a repeat of last year's Stanley Cup riot." Article: Vancouver businesses fear a repeat of last year's Stanley Cup riot (thehockeynews.com)
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Rare daytime meteor spotted in Texas explained as being part of "Spring fireball season" . Wow, the weather in Texas really does suck (news.yahoo.com)
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UK saturated by light pollution, farts from baked beans (bbc.co.uk)
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Part of the criteria for being a 'stillborn' baby is being still (myfoxdc.com)
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US Justice Department sues Apple, publishers for antitrust violations on e-book pricing. Read all about it in an electronic report that costs more than the hardcover (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Proof that gaming is art: Nintendo to provide the Louvre with 3DS guided tours. Mamma Mia the Mona Lisa (gamescatalyst.com)
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Canada's new quarter has a dinosaur with glow-in-the-dark bones (moneyland.time.com)
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Musician finds rare unreleased reel-to-reel tape of 1956 jazz concert featuring Ella Fitzgerald, Oscar Peterson, Dizzy Gillespie, the Modern Jazz Quartet and Stan Getz ... all on the same show (nola.com)
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Mexican villagers concerned nearby clothing-optional swingers resort will hurt tourism - because the drug cartels, natural disasters and travel warning have just been working wonders (myfoxdc.com)
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| (USGS) |
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Indonesia's geophysical agency says earthquake of 8.9 on Richter scale off Aceh. USGS Shows 8.7 Prelim (earthquake.usgs.gov)
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Prepare yourself: The Special Prosecutor in the Trayvon Martin case will release new information on the case within 72 hours (nytimes.com)
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Gun shop that Rick Perry once praised for "entrepreneurship and service to the state of Texas" raided by the Department of Homeland Security for knowingly selling guns and ammo to smugglers (mysanantonio.com)
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George, the world's largest dog, started life as the runt of the litter (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue April 10, 2012
Mon April 09, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Man wearing boxers assaults construction workers with orange. Apparently there are parts of Florida where this isn't normal (wpbf.com)
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The Three Stooges are hosting WWE Monday Night Raw, because that's the best way to follow up the return of Brock Lesnar. Hopefully, Bret Hart will smack Will Sasso around again and tell him to quit pretending to be Curly. 9 PM on USA (examiner.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's "Meth lab found in a Wal-Mart restroom" brought to you by Boaz, Alabama (gadsdentimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Smart Meters are safe, reliable, hackable, accurate. Wait, what? (krebsonsecurity.com)
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Woman accused of setting fire to apartment over domestic dispute with possible Mugshot Of The Week (pennlive.com)
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Why this country is doomed: People are flocking to the Thomas Kinkade "gallery" at their local malls and buying out their mechanically reproduced prints, convinced they will soar in value now that the "artist" has died (news.yahoo.com)
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Trayvon Martin's Twitter feed has been found, and what his Tweets show may shock you (assuming you know nothing about teenagers) (sun-sentinel.com)
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Not only does North Korea have new rocket technology, they also have a state of the art virtual tractor simulator. Once you pass, you get to look at their cutting edge virtual food simulator (iheartchaos.com)
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Sun April 08, 2012
Sat April 07, 2012
Fri April 06, 2012
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Department of Education cancels woman's $91,000 student loans due to her total disability. IRS now wants $26,000 in "back taxes" because the cancelled student loans count as income (gma.yahoo.com)
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Catholic art teacher fired for posting nude photos online. The diocese won't comment on how they found the photos, but we all know how they found the photos (cleveland.com)
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| (Sherdog) |
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Friday night fights with Bellator 64. Welterweight championship fight between Ben "Labradoodle" Askren and Douglas Lima, main card starts at 8:00 p.m. ET on MTV 2 (sherdog.com)
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Man becomes $660,000 richer thanks to nano-particles in the dust that ruined his books (english.pravda.ru)
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After listening to 20 minutes worth of charges, Juarez drug cartel killer pleads guilty to lots of evil shiat, gets 10 life sentences (elpasotimes.com)
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| (Some Bee) |
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Last Call for NJ Fark Party Saturday April 7th Freehold/Howell. Please let us know if you're planning to attend & whether you're chargin' your lazer or just joining us to imbibe. DIT (iplayamerica.com)
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Fired executive with bi-polar disorder wins protection under the ADA, says he's really excited to have set the precedent, plans on starting a national organization for fellow suffers,or not, because that's just too hard (abcnews.go.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Zot L. Szurgot allegedly walked out of her house naked, turned to five of her neighbors and started wagging her penis" (alligator.org)
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Astronauts from International Space Station take one millionth photo, promising to be different from the previous 999,999 views of earth (foxnews.com)
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Scientists prove that Jenny McCarthy's children are mutants (mobile.nytimes.com)
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I don't know what parping is, but the mayor of La Toba, Spain has made it illegal, along with farting and picking your nose (thesun.co.uk)
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12-mile-high Martian dust devil caught in the act. Taz unavailable for comment (jpl.nasa.gov)
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Man trying to clear paper jam needs to be rescued by fire department (boston.com)
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Art Laffer doesn't understand what the G stands for in the formula: GDP = C + I + G + (Ex - Im) (cnbc.com)
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| (Some DHS Rascal) |
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Federal judge eviscerates the Department of Homeland Security with an opinion that scores somewhere between Airplane and Ghostbusters on the "density of quotable lines" scale (powerlineblog.com)
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Changes in Earth's orbit 55 million years ago triggered severe global warming. The Sun was there (dailymail.co.uk)
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Thu April 05, 2012
Wed April 04, 2012
Tue April 03, 2012
| (News 3 Las Vegas) |
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The week after the World Fark Party II in Vegas, a six-pack of beers gets a seat on Las Vegas City Council. Coincidence? (mynews3.com)
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Cameras may be installed in the lifts to catch whoever is defecating in the elevators. That's some mighty good police work there, Lou (graphic images in article) (thisislocallondon.co.uk)
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If Draw Something had been a PC game in the 90s. Subby would have got laid even less for starters (shortlist.com)
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Want to see the Tea Partiers have a GOPasm, and watch the Obama campaign go crazy at the same time? Put Condi on the ticket (realclearpolitics.com)
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| (Courant) |
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Walmart toilet paper wins competition, judged perfect for cheap-ass consumers (courantblogs.com)
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Medical radiographer suspended from her profession after drinking a quart of boxed wine at work. No, I don't know her Fark handle (couriermail.com.au)
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Underground Vietnamese restaurant on Sunset Boulevard has industrial decor and all the hipster trimmings, including bartender who wears World Dodgeball Society T-shirt and asks if your food is "pho-bulous" (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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| (Las Vegas Sun) |
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Look who else wants a party held in Las Vegas (lasvegassun.com)
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| (LAist) |
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Woman can't read her Steve Jobs biography because 1,600 iPhone-clutching revelers spontaneously hold a houseparty next door: "(Jobs) spirit was here when these kids were out there with their iPhones" (laist.com)
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| (Guyspeed) |
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Guyspeed.com illustrates their article about staring with an eye catching photo courtesy of FARK (guyspeed.com)
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Earth has more than one moon -- and we're not talking about Warren Moon, Moon Zappa or that time at summer camp when you dotdotdot (npr.org)
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| (Nine News) |
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Man who died when he crashed his Porsche has been upgraded to "serious but stable, won't get on the cart" (news.ninemsn.com.au)
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How long should shoes last? Subby bought some decent dress shoes for work about 2 years ago and they're already starting to get separation between the sole and the leather (or whatever material it is) (fark.com)
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The first prosecutor in the Trayvon Martin case is a little upset at the "outright lies" being told in the media. Subby just wants to know brand of tennis shoe Trayvon had, the type of cell phone used, type of grass seed in the lawn (clickorlando.com)
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From the, "wait, that's illegal?" department: Massachusetts politician indicted for using state funds to support his political campaign (bostonherald.com)
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For Rent: Hyde Park flat up for grabs during the Olympics complete with butler and Aston Martin. You too can live like royalty for a mere £11,000 a night (dailymail.co.uk)
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I'm a part of your goddamn complete breakfast (boingboing.net)
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Mon April 02, 2012
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At the Community wrap party, creator Dan Harmon delivered a "f*ck you, Chevy Chase" speech and encouraged the entire crew to say "f*ck you" to Chevy Chase. Needless to say, Chevy Chase isn't very pleased about this (warmingglow.uproxx.com)
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AFA Foods, known better as the company that produces the perfectly tasty but unfortunately dubbed pink slime is filing Chapter 11 because some asshole TV chef started a completely fabricated frenzy. Thousands will be jobless as a result (chicagotribune.com)
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Neil deGrasse Tyson informs James Cameron that Rose would not have seen that particular star field floating on a door after Titanic's sinking. Cameron changes it to Tyson's specifications for the 3D rerelease (avclub.com)
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Enhanced video evidence in Trayvon Martin case (huffingtonpost.com)
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Our father, who art into gay porn, on a USB stick with autoplay. Thy people come, they see your dong, on a screen in front of the brethren (gizmodo.com)
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Not News: Artist recreates Sgt Pepper's cover for 2012. Cool: The artist who did the original cover (telegraph.co.uk)
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Child killings, incestuous colonies and poor casting decisions all make for a controversial start to the new season of "Game of Thrones" (mtv.com)
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Brietbart writer wants you to know that conservatives are funny, too (breitbart.com)
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And if you had "the next business day" down for when Democrats would start making hay about the "Toss old folks and poor kids to the curb" budget passed by the House, step right up (huffingtonpost.com)
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Donald Trump and Clay Aiken don't understand Penn Jillette. And Penn is okay with that. Vissa d'arte (huffingtonpost.com)
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Now that Amazon is able provide customers with cheap and plentiful purple Flavor-Aid, Cool Ranch Doritos and adult diapers, Walmart is taking a closer look at this whole "internet" fad (finance.yahoo.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Bar patron gets kicked out after getting caught having sex in bar. Does he: A) Apologize and leave bar without incident. B) Plead ignorance and claim that he was not aware that kind of thing was frowned upon. C) Bite off bartender's finger (timesunion.com)
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Sun April 01, 2012
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World Fark Party II - Las Vegas Nevada: March 30 - Apr 1 (fark.com)
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Wanna know what driving a NYC cab was like back in 1945? Ask Johnnie Footman, he started driving cabs in 1945. Fark: You can talk to him in the back of his cab because he's still driving cabs in NYC (nypost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Food carts today may sell more than hot dogs, reports Ric Romero in conjunction with woman eagerly awaiting Olive Garden in town (onlineathens.com)
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Photoshop Theme: Latte Art (google.com)
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This season, Wrigley Field celebrates the 75th birthdays of its scoreboard and bleachers, and the 102nd year of consistent, continued heartbreak, failure, and crushed hopes (suntimes.com)
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Can Helio continue to win? Will Lotus need a new supply of hamsters in wheels to keep their engines running? Find out today at the Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama starting at 2PM EDT (espn.go.com)
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Who's it gonna be today? Tony Stewart? Kevin Harvick? Jimmie Johnson? Tweetmaster Flash Brad Keselowski? It's the April Fool's Goody's Fast Relief 500 at Martinsville Speedway, 1pm, FOX (sports.yahoo.com)
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Antibiotics are making you fat, which explains how Jenny McCarthy can stay so slim even this late into her 30s (mnn.com)
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Some in Congress, including Peter King (R-NY), want to take away the Constitutional rights of people who have not been arrested, charged, or convicted of any crimes. He has bi-partisan support (huffingtonpost.com)
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For $6,500 a day you can hire Darth Maul's dad to come to your school and bully children (cnn.com)
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Sat March 31, 2012
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For those of us that can't be in Las Vegas, we can have our own party with this week's Mugshot Roundup. And it's a good one (thesmokinggun.com)
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WalMart plans to reduce grocery prices by one billion dollars. Doesn't that just mean that they were overcharging us in the first place? (foxbusiness.com)
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| (Virgin) |
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Virgin Volcanic? Richard Branson to let people book trips to Journey to the Center of the Earth. Dinosaurs cost extra (virgin.com)
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Ladies and gentlemen, it's official. The drunker you are, the prettier you become - to yourself. This would explain why most Farkers "feel sexier, smarter and funnier, even when others privately think you are a turkey" (ca.news.yahoo.com)
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On April 7, at age 49, Jamie Moyer will start a game for a team that didn't exist until 7 years after he was drafted (sports.yahoo.com)
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| (busselton mail.com) |
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Against all odds, Squid the cat turns 97 (cat) years old. This article seemed appropriate as we celebrate another birthday this weekend - Caturday's one and only Alien (busseltonmail.com.au)
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Someone in Maryland will soon realize that they are the most popular person on the entire planet, and if they were smart, we'd never ever hear of them again for the rest of their natural life (wrcbtv.com)
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| (QC Online) |
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The oldest man in the United States, Shelby Harris, celebrates his 111th birthday today. Hopefully the nursing home doesn't throw him a surprise party (qconline.com)
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Fri March 30, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Bellator 63: Welterweight tourney quarterfinals at the Mohegan Sun. Who will get cut in Connecticut? Prelims start at 7 ET (bellator.com)
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Just two legs and part of an arm? That is so 2004. What body part has she give up for her country LATELY? (thinkprogress.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mozart's posthumous new single "Allegro Molto in C Major" is off the hook. Tag is because he wrote the song when he was just 10 (slyoyster.com)
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Hey, all you Vegas Farkers. Once you shake off the hangovers, here's an article listing some cool things to do. Test drive a Lambo, fire a grenade launcher, bulldoze things. Even some tree hugging and artsy crap for you libbies (travel.usatoday.com)
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| (Habby Offman) |
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Dude, it's like Woodstock all over again. Except, in France. And with, like, UFOs and sh*t. And it doesn't end until Doomsday 2012. Which has already started. Far out, man (news.gather.com)
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News article about a pole dancer (w/ pics). Too bad you didn't read the rest of the headline, because it's about a 53 year old guy (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Spoiled Rotten Guy) |
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This is why children on airplanes should either be safely secured in a pet carrier, or the overhead luggage compartment (losangeles.cbslocal.com)
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The job outlook for recent college graduates is looking good. Assuming you want to work at Wal-Mart, McDonald's, and Starbucks (suntimes.com)
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Thu March 29, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Genetically modified cows could fart less; process may someday be applicable for husbands (tvnz.co.nz)
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That whole "ads on NBA jerseys" thing is probably going to happen. This article brought to you by Carl's Jr: Fark you, I'm eating (withleather.uproxx.com)
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| (More Intelligent Life) |
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Most interesting article about restaurant names you'll read all day. Subby's favorites are Aunt Chilada's, Thaitanic, Vin sur Vin, Untitled, Frying Nemo, and Dinner (where you can get lunch) (moreintelligentlife.com)
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Washington DC: Come to see democracy in action, come to see the memorials... come to see the Walmart of weed? (usatoday.com)
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I♥.nyc (govtech.com)
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Research shows boozing after a heart attack could help you live longer. Subby is ahead of the curve on this one (metro.co.uk)
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| (Outside) |
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The campfire--complete with the charred hot dogs and your stoner friend's sloppy rendition of "Comfortably Numb" on the acoustic--may be the reason homo sapiens conquered planet Earth (outsideonline.com)
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Giant tornado five times the size of Earth demolishes a trailer park on the Sun (wired.com)
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9.0 earthquake. Do you a) piss yourself. b) cry like a little girl c) declare "the ground is shaky" to keep your snowflake from crying. Nerves of steel mom.. nerves of steel (wimp.com)
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It's finally happened. Police in Florida have given up and decided to start enforcing the law in bunny costumes (wptv.com)
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Article written back in January by Steve Martin about Earl Scruggs. Your dog wants a banjo (newyorker.com)
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Hot new band called "Nine Inch Nails" on 1989 Dance Party USA TV show (youtube.com)
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Elephant using smart phone shows amazing ability to multitusk (youtube.com)
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Not news: Red Wing loses on the road. News: To the Columbus Blue Jackets. Fark. On national television. Ultrafark: Due to injuries, Columbus started their 5th string goaltender, who got his first NHL win to boot (nhl.com)
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| (The Chive) |
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Step 1: Print out photo of yourself doing something strange. Step 2: Bring to local Walmart or other store that sells picture frames, & replace existing stock photos. Step 3: Take pic as evidence & upload. Step 4: Lulz (thechive.com)
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Bad: Brawl erupts at party after beer runs out. Worse: Four people shot, two stabbed, two beaten, one dead. FARK: This was a kid's birthday party (khou.com)
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Astronomers estimate roughly 40% of all red dwarf star systems may contain Earth-like planets capable of supporting life. Smegheads (wired.com)
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Wed March 28, 2012
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Why is Apple gaining market share? Well, elderly poor in the South keep dying, for starters (cnbc.com)
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GOP rising star leaves party, adding, "I've fought in a war and I've seen the enemy. We don't have enemies in our political environment here...but in today's political environment, you're expected to play the game" (blog.sfgate.com)
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From the I never saw THAT coming department. A wild bear saves a man from a mountain lion attack (blogs.ajc.com)
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If there ever was a news article screaming to be accompanied by a Nelson Muntz signature laugh, it is this one (nytimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The mainstream press is really doing a number on this Trayvon Martin thing, but I'll bet that the bastions of journalistic integrity at big state school newspapers are... oh my (blogs.houstonpress.com)
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Congressman gets kicked off House floor for wearing a hoodie in support of Trayvon Martin. Fark: Because the Speaker claims it violates the House's rule against hats (thinkprogress.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Guys having a beer after their start has been going on for the last 100 years. This is retarded" (cbssports.com)
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Romneybot 2.0 launches talkshow.exe subroutine, attempts to load regularguy.dat into newly formatted partition (wrcbtv.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man scrawls a huge painted death threat across garage door. "According to the Police Department, he is not breaking the law. The city is not allowed to regulate what people paint on their homes" (kens5.com)
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"Is it wrong to have sex with a dead chicken? How about with your sister? Is it okay to defecate in a urinal? If your dog dies, why not eat it?" This are serious article. New York Times are serious paper (nytimes.com)
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Tue March 27, 2012
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If you're high on hallucinogens and invisible shadow men start to annoy you, don't use a lighter and a spray can to defend yourself (tulsaworld.com)
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Dick Cheney's heart plant surgery, Bob Uecker's statue juuust a bit outside of Miller Park, and a special report from Trevor McSmokingballs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/18 - 3/24 (fark.com)
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Drivers are starting to pull over before using their cell phones. Naturally, some people have a problem with this (nytimes.com)
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| (Goal.com) |
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Champions League quarterfinals start today, Benfica v Chelsea, and Apoel Nicosia hosts Real Madrid in Cyprus? OK that's different, discuss away (goal.com)
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♪ Fish farts ♪ Fish farts ♪ Robots record fish farts ♪ Fish farts ♪ Fish farts ♪ Eat them up yummmmmm (news.discovery.com)
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Red Tomato Pizza in Dubai has started a massive innovation in the world of pizza delivery and the latest candidate for GREATEST THING EVER (forbes.com)
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Colts insist that Dwight Freeney is still with the team. Which means the current Colts roster includes Freeney, Robert Mathis, the former Jets backup Quarterback, and the Butler University school mascot (indystar.com)
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Friend of Zimmerman defends his use of the slur "coon asses" stating that the phrase is used proudly in parts of the country by people to describe themselves (thinkprogress.org)
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Good news: Syria has accepted the UN peace plan, except for the ceasefire part (news.yahoo.com)
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Hollywood liberals choose Jane Fonda to play Nancy Reagan. This means Andrew Breitbart can come back from the dead and Barack Obama has to give Julianne Moore a Razzie for "Game Change" (thedailybeast.com)
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Apparently FEMA made a study to see if Fallout could happen. "If you are thinking about (a city) being wiped off the face of the earth, that's not what happens" (sfgate.com)
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Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown (R) wants voters to know he's not part of the GOP's War on Women, and that he learns a lot from his wife and daughters. What specifically? "How to cook, sew, and clean" (google.com)
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The artist who created the 'Hope and Change' poster just got his mugshot on The Smoking Gun. So that means Jon McNaughton and Thomas Kinkade get to repaint the Sistine Chapel (thesmokinggun.com)
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Come one, who wouldn't want to pay $50 for a picture with a guy who has absolutely not chance of winning his party's nomination? (cbsnews.com)
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Imagine not being able to visit any website at work unless it started with this four-letter word beginning with C (networkworld.com)
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Obvious: People try to make money of Trayvon Martin's death. Sick: One of the people is his own mother (thesmokinggun.com)
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If you want to celebrate getting a new job, particularly in this economy, that's cool. The Harrisburg Police, however, tend to frown on celebrations that involve firing guns wildly into the air (pennlive.com)
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Mon March 26, 2012
| (Calgary Herald) |
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Old and busted: stealing painting from art museum. New hotness: smuggling painting into art museum (calgaryherald.com)
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Trayvon Martin was suspended from school for possessing traces of marijuana in an empty plastic bag found in his backpack. Which means he totally had it coming, right? (cbsnews.com)
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Kobe upset over fourth-quarter benching in loss to Grizzlies. Coach Mike Brown explains it was all just part of his Metta-game (espn.go.com)
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| (Some Bee) |
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Sat. April 7th NJ Fark Party for Sir Cumference the Flatulent. Update: We're still hitting up Iplay America for some laser tag, but food & drink venue has changed DIT (iplayamerica.com)
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Billionaire trolls Australian media to help get political party elected (abc.net.au)
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Not that it'll change anyone's mind. "George Zimmerman suffered a broken nose, and had an injury to the back of his head, he was attacked by Trayvon Martin on that evening," (Auto-play video) (abcnews.go.com)
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Five creepy modern parenting fads: Want to worship your child as part of the coming of a new, superior race? Maybe you'd prefer to "train up" your less-than-one year old baby with a tree branch? Truly something for everyone (cracked.com)
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With the World Fark Party II looming, please Farkers, don't let this happen to you (youtube.com)
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Georgia restaurant jokes that their "black and bleu" sandwich was inspired by Chris Brown's attack on Rihanna. "Chris Brown won't beat you up for eating this unless your name starts with a R and ends with A" (nydailynews.com)
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Gallagher suffers heart attack four days after being released from the hospital after suffering a heart attack. He'll head off to that great big champagne supernova in the sky any time now (tmz.com)
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Quebec City to start construction on a NHL rink to be completed in time to house the NY Islanders, Florida Panthers, Phoenix Coyotes, New Jersey Devils, Dallas Stars, or Columbus Blue Jackets when they move there (msn.foxsports.com)
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Italian Olympic volleyballer, Vigor Bovolenta, dies after suffering heart attack on court during match in Italy's second tier professional volleyball league (huffingtonpost.com)
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Sun March 25, 2012
Sat March 24, 2012
Fri March 23, 2012
Thu March 22, 2012
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"American media terrorizes people far more than the actual so-called terrorists" Says Glenn Greenwald. But be sure to check out his other article "Obama is a murderous sociopath" who will kill you in your sleep (salon.com)
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What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were they just born with a heart full of neutrality? I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me (thelocal.se)
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| (Heritage Foundation) |
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Good news for business owners and taxpayers. The 120 new federal regulations enacted last year will only cost you $1 billion a year for the next 15 years. Bonus: The Department of Justice says "You'll get over it" (blog.heritage.org)
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Look, I'm as outraged at Trayvon Martin's shooting as anyone, but "A Million Hoodie March"? Really? (theatlanticwire.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Who wouldn't want this fine piece of art hanging in their drawing room, or servants back entry hallway? (mcnaughtonart.com)
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Brietbart forced to take down their "gotcha" interview of Bono confessing to tax evasion when they realize the person they have on tape is in fact a professional Bono impersonator (washingtonpost.com)
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Jeff Foxworthy, host of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" to host "The American Bible Challenge." So, lateral move? (washingtonpost.com)
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Stop me if you've heard this one before; Boehner confident he has votes for DOA Ryan budget despite the Tea Partiers and Dems voting against it (washingtonpost.com)
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Why is The Daily Show more effective than The Mainstream Media at reporting news like defunding UNESCO? Stewart recognizes governmental madness and absurdity, while MSM takes it as axiomatic in their "objective" reporting (theatlantic.com)
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Some people like to look for art in the clouds. Then there's this guy (io9.com)
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Beware: Serial killer train on the loose in Florida, claims two victims in one day 435 miles apart. With helpful picture of what a serial killer train may look like (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is exotic animal amnesty day in Connecticut. So turn in your ocelots, black mambas, and rhinos with no penalties or questions asked. (Link in article with list of illegal animals which includes Gerbils) (thedailywilton.com)
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| (NBC DFW) |
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When posting an invitation about your "Crazy Project X Type Party", please remember that the police read Craigslist, too, kiddies (nbcdfw.com)
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Wed March 21, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Remember that article claiming that Jesus was a real person? Yeah, about that. Short answer "No", long answer "Noooooooooooooooooooo" (freethoughtblogs.com)
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Teenagers are learning how to iron, sew and make the bed as part of a school curriculum designed to turn boys into "men". Pretty men with soft hands and delicate smiles that we know get all the girls (news.com.au)
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That former Florida quarterback with the spotty pro record is without a team at the moment. No, not that one (jacksonville.com)
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Do you need 48 minutes of mindless cartoon violence to take your mind off the world's troubles? Here's all 48 minutes of Itchy & Scratchy (mentalfloss.com)
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| (Political Wire) |
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Romney adviser compares Mitt's campaign to an Etch-A-Sketch: "You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again" (politicalwire.com)
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Nationals announce that Stephen Stasburg will get the Opening Day start, blow out his arm five days later (espn.go.com)
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Chicago lawmaker caught on tape by the FBI accepting a bribe, still wins his party's primary with 76% of the vote. Officials say this being Chicago, the bribery charged may actually have helped him (news.yahoo.com)
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Remember the story about the jerk who ruined a for-fun beer darts league? (LGT original thread) Well, the jerk behind it is now targeting a Farker (DIT) (fark.com)
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So, would it change any opinions if 911 tapes revealed that George Zimmerman muttered "f*cking coons" right before he shot Trayvon Martin to death? (huffingtonpost.com)
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Breitbart demands Barack Obama apologize for the fact that Tom Hanks and Glenn Frey appeared on stage with a man in an Afro wig at a 2004 fundraiser for St. Matthew's Parish School in Pacific Palisades, California (breitbart.com)
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Kelly Osbourne & Jennifer Lopez pray for victims of Mexican earthquake, others do useful things (starpulse.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bristol Palin: "Whar's MY apology, Fartbongo???". Addicting Info: "Two things. One, it isn't the same thing. Two, he came to your defense back in 2008, so please STFU" (addictinginfo.org)
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Payday lenders are responsible for more than a quarter million dollars of Mitt Romney's Super PAC contributions. Hope he read the fine print on those rates (usatoday.com)
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Founder of C-SPAN stepping down as CEO. Has plans to start another similarly exciting network tentatively called The Paint Drying Channel (content.usatoday.com)
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Made for Fark headline: "Menacing-looking artificial vaginas now sold at Walgreens" (now.msn.com)
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Attention all Jersey Shore fans ... we have a SITUATION. Mike Sorrentino has partied himself into a treatment facility that his handlers would have you believe is not drug rehab. If it looks like a duck (bittenandbound.com)
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Final weekend numbers on Disney's "John Carter" now tallied, making it the third biggest Carter disappointment since Jimmy and Billy (latimes.com)
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Man responsible for the Toulouse shootings has been cornered in an apartment building and is currently in stand-off with the police, claims to be an Al Qaeda member (haaretz.com)
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| (Waterloo Courier) |
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"Yes, 911, I have an emergency. There is a woman in my apartment and OH MY GOD SHE'S WEARING LIPSTICK SHE HAS ON LIPSTICK OH GOD OH GOD NO" (wcfcourier.com)
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Tue March 20, 2012
| (Whats up, Doc?) |
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One doctor speaks out against transvaginal ultrasound. "If you are forced to enter an image into the patient chart, ultrasound the bedsheets and enter 'poor acoustic window...plus, I'm not a rapist'" (whatever.scalzi.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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PGA set to announce massive, unprecedented changes, including essentially scrapping Q-School and starting the golf season in October (cbssports.com)
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Harry Potter actor jailed for his part in London riots. Typical Slytherin (bbc.co.uk)
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Housing starts for February were really bad, but construction permits are way up as builders switch to building apartments. This means housing is getting better, right? (economywatch.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (USGS) |
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Magnitude 7.6 earthquake hits southern Mexico, about 150 miles south of Mexico City (earthquake.usgs.gov)
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Russian dub of "The Iron Lady" goes a tiny bit off script. For starters, Meryl Streep is played by a guy (slatest.slate.com)
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Want to get into a hot startup? Why don't you have a seat over there? (blogs.marketwatch.com)
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And thus we begin a new trend of lazy journalism: the "What would Steve Jobs have thought?" article about any new decision by Apple. Someone should write a book (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Pensito) |
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U.S. 'free enterprise' employer-based health insurance system 'coming apart at the seams' (pensitoreview.com)
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Science Channel joins SyFy, A&E, History and TLC in "name does not describe our programming" game, airs conclusion of two-part series on how man would react to alien encounters. Bravo (nypost.com)
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Remember the skydiving instructor/porn star who had sex in midair? Well, he also came down to earth to score with Lindsay Lohan (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Liberty Republican Forum) |
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Liberty Republican Forum illustrates their article about Missouri party voting with a jaw-dropping photo courtesy of FARK (fontcraft.com)
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Tired of your ho-hum, work-a-day life? Sell everything and start trippin' in a vintage VW microbus, like this guy (latimes.com)
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US to join search for Amelia Earhart. This sort of is a repeat from 1937 (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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Mon March 19, 2012
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For the amount of money Disney lost on the debacle that is John Carter, you could've sent someone to Mars (though they'd have to find their own way back) (news.yahoo.com)
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Two guys start making out at a Santorum rally. Crowd chants "USA USA" as the two are ejected. Santorum horrified by the incident, yet confused by the tingling in his pants (dailyherald.com)
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Cool video of Earth & Stars from the ISS (mentalfloss.com)
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Peacetime martial law now OK. Which guy was going to suspend elections for an indefinite presidency again? Hope, Change, etc (huffingtonpost.com)
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When the son of a celebrity turns 25, they usually receive a new car, vacation home, or at least have a huge party. But then, if you're Kris Jenner, you give your son a mostly-nude pic of yourself. "Gee, thanks Mom" (dailymail.co.uk)
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Meet Brenden Dowden, who thought it would be a good idea to brag on Facebook about starting fires and flipping news vans over (theglobeandmail.com)
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How is boddy died? How is boddy died? How life get departed. They need to do way in stained brains who kill thier boddys. because these boddy can frigth back? (salon.com)
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Those sexually explicit emails I sent my secretary were all part of a brilliant plan to expose corruption. You should all be thanking me (indystar.com)
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An exception has occured at $4M00xMisys and Vista must now restart (finance.yahoo.com)
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New Zealanders starting to panic as nationwide marmite shortage means they may be forced to eat vegemite (stuff.co.nz)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Well, good for Garry Trudeau. It kinda makes you wonder though... what would it look like if other newspaper cartoonists ran abortion stories? Hmmmmm.... I wonder... what would that look like... *cue harp* (blogs.houstonpress.com)
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Sun March 18, 2012
Sat March 17, 2012
Fri March 16, 2012
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Now those are f*cking paintings (dailymail.co.uk)
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Nuclear scientists are using native frogs to thwart hospital superbugs. No, this isn't the plot of a SyFy Original Movie (smh.com.au)
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| (Bellator) |
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Friday night fight thread for Bellator 61. Middleweight Quarterfinals and four other interesting match ups. First fights start at 7pm ET (bellator.com)
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Arizona Republicans remove "circumcision requirement" from bill, keep the stupid part (huffingtonpost.com)
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Latvians celebrate the memory of their soldiers who fought in WWII. Difficulty? They were part of the SS and fought for the Germans (abcnews.go.com)
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Scientists create material which seems to have been exposed to a stronger magnet than exists on earth, but they didn't use any magnets. Your move, Juggalos (gammasquad.uproxx.com)
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"Video games allow us to explore our dreams, our fears, our thoughts, our morals, and engage with each other in a way that no other medium allows."- Chris Melissinos, curator, 'The Art of Video Games' exhibit. Opens 3/16 (networkworld.com)
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What can you do with heavy-duty suction cups, a heat gun and guitar picks? Take apart the new iPad 3, of course (news.com.au)
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Techie's 'Butter Egg Challenge' -- a month of eating at least a quarter pound of butter and a dozen eggs every day -- couldn't be more ridiculous. Where's the bacon? (networkworld.com)
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Skateboarder Ryan Sheckler brought a female acquaintance back to his Vegas hotel room. While he snoozed, she helped herself to $100K in parting gifts (bittenandbound.com)
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Gallagher in medically-induced coma following heart attack; now knows what the audience experiences during an actual Gallagher performance (content.usatoday.com)
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| (TheChive) |
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Sometimes art is at its best when it's completely screwed up (thechive.com)
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Floridians afraid that Movies like "Project X" are making kids want to party, get drunk, do drugs, and break things. "They never would have came up with that idea themselves" (sun-sentinel.com)
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MN Senate Majority leader has affair with staffer, staffer is fired. Staffer now suing for being fired for gender; threatens to release names of other staffers having affairs with legislators. Diffculty: Guess party and genders involved (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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What do you do if a cute topless sunbather approaches you on the beach. If you're the recently married Paul McCartney, you just let it be. (sfw) (dailymail.co.uk)
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We are Romney. Lower your expectations and surrender your votes. We will add your political distinctiveness to our own. Your Tea Party will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile (chicagotribune.com)
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Thu March 15, 2012
Wed March 14, 2012
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Niles man started hospital fire, claim police. He was probably trying to iron his pants for the first time (chicagotribune.com)
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After 128 grueling years, effects of Viagra finally starting to wear off of George Washington (cnn.com)
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| (thedailymash) |
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Darth Vader turns in his resignation to the Empire (thedailymash.co.uk)
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Since VA lawmakers are keen about telling women how to handle their lady parts, women have flocked to Facebook to ask them for health advice and reproductive opinions (dailykos.com)
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Unlike Earth, the moon has no global magnetic field, but patches of the satellite's surface are magnetic. Here comes the science (news.nationalgeographic.com)
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34 percent of DC singles rate themselves "heavy drinkers," the highest among US cities surveyed. Which reminds me -- when's the next DC Fark Party? (washingtonpost.com)
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It might have been a Bipartisan Payroll Tax Cut, but it's going to raise the Obama Deficit (content.usatoday.com)
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As more and more people are selling off their diamond jewelry, the industry worries that a flood of "recycled" diamonds may cause severe drops in the artificially inflated prices they sell their shiny rocks for (news.yahoo.com)
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Flyers fans starting to feel better about giving the Spaceman $51 million over 9 years as the Bryz posts his 3rd straight shutout (nhl.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news - Fans unhappy with Mass Effect 3 Ending start online petition - News - Fans start charity fund to encourage Bioware to make changes and raise a ton of cash (retakemasseffect.chipin.com)
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AHL player loses his marbles and starts an on-ice fight with mostly everyone (sports.yahoo.com)
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Gourmet space food of the future. From a spirulina martini to a vegetable taboulé, this is how we will be eating on the way to a galaxy far far away (humansinvent.com)
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Departing Goldman Sachs exec not only burns bridge, but hunts down bridge designer and sets fire to river with op-ed piece (nytimes.com)
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Already filled out your brackets? You might want to double check that, particularly if you had Syracuse winning it (espn.go.com)
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Ninety years ago this month a Russian scientist and inventor was summoned to meet Lenin. It was the start of an incredible journey that laid the foundations for modern electronic music, from the Beach Boys to Pink Floyd (bbc.co.uk)
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Tue March 13, 2012
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Sid Meier: The art of making interesting decisions. Like making it possible for a spearman to defeat a FARKING TANK (g4tv.com)
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: Bi-partisan bill promising economic growth aims to roll back depression-era regulatory safeguards and disclosure requirements (bloomberg.com)
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Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) likes Newt Gingrich so much that he couldn't stop himself from donating an illegal amount of money to the former House speaker's campaign (politico.com)
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The bite caused her to lose part of an ear; hear no evil. She nearly lost her eyesight; see no evil. But she could speak and when she did she said SPIDER (gma.yahoo.com)
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By asking the question about whether or not Obama is a "secret Muslim," people are perpetuating the false myth started by idiotic birthers (theatlantic.com)
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Son, if you're going to be a successful car jacker, you have to start small. Take that golf cart for instance (ajc.com)
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First two days of NCAA tournament to cost $175 million in lost productivity according to studies put out by Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc and Department of Pulling Random Numbers out of our Asses (foxnews.com)
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Nine members of the Batman family that have yet to receive action figures. I myself would love a Thomas & Martha Wayne two-pack (toplessrobot.com)
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It's been five years since real estate prices imploded, so you'll be happy to know that your property taxes may be finally about to start going down (usatoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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There's an alien mothership sucking on the Sun like a teat. But is it just to get enough energy to make an attack on Earth? Or is it absorbing the life killing cosmic rays? That's what friendly aliens do (news.gather.com)
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Some things science can't answer - it's a matter of what's in your heart. And in his heart, Rick Santorum knows that Dutch people are forcibly euthanized (blog.foreignpolicy.com)
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Cancer drugs found to thwart Ebola in lab -- which is great if you ever catch Ebola in a lab (npr.org)
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How much a woman drinks directly affects how likely she is to stroke it. At least that's what I think the article said (npr.org)
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California legislator proposes law banning violent fans from pro sports games. Raider fans still allowed to start fights in prison exercise yard (sacbee.com)
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Pedro Pimentel Rios is sentenced to 6,060 years in prison for his part in the massacre of 201 people in Guatemala, but with good behavior he'll be out in half that time (bbc.co.uk)
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"Even the mayor of Hokitika, Maureen Pugh, didn't shy away from the stallion juice: 'I thought it would be creamy and curdled. The grossest part was it hitting me in the face'" (stuff.co.nz)
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Your 6th grade son's team loses their basketball game. Do you: c) beat the crap out of the opposing team's coach and bite off part of his ear? (content.usatoday.com)
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Mon March 12, 2012
Sun March 11, 2012
Sat March 10, 2012
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Well sir, there's nothing on Earth like maintaining a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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French concept artist Moebius, who made The Abyss, Tron, and Alien even stranger, draws the great beyond. Concept artist trifecta in play (io9.com)
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| (Morning Sentinel.com) |
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Was it named for a family that lived on the intersection? Was it for a loose female bartender? How about the story of a woman who would sit on her porch while wearing no underwear? Whatever the origin, the town likes the name Katie Crotch Road (onlinesentinel.com)
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"John Carter" on track to make as much money this weekend as an episode of Diff'rent Strokes cost to make back in the 80's (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Republican party finally sees the error of their ways and quietly lets the war against women drop... JUST KIDDING, a Georgia State Representative compares pregnant women to cattle and pigs (rawstory.com)
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I said, IT'S AN ARTICLE ABOUT HOW BLIND PEOPLE DREAM (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)
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American Auto Bailout - Part Deux (abcnews.go.com)
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Fri March 09, 2012
| (Bellator) |
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Friday night fight thread for Bellator 60. Featherweight tournament quarterfinals and championship fight between challenger Pat Curran and champion Joe Warren. (8:00 p.m. ET on MTV 2, in HD on EPIX) (bellator.com)
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Seventeen & eighteen year-old girls start a fight with a sixteen year-old girl. Sixteen year-old girl uses pepper spray to defend herself. Guess which one faces expulsion from school? (mlive.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember the start of The Stand? (baltimore.cbslocal.com)
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After extensive research conducted in Walmarts across the nation, Medicare determines too many Americans are using power wheelchairs that they don't really need (tampabay.com)
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| (digitaljournal) |
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"If you want to make money on the Greek situation, start making bets on which new bit of stupidity will happen next" (digitaljournal.com)
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So how are movies faring, right after the Oscars where we celebrate the best of the artform? Of the top 10 movies at the box office this week, all 10 have a "rotten" score on Rotten Tomatoes (rottentomatoes.com)
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Starbucks to join last decade, will sell a single-cup coffee machine starting in the fall (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Flaming balls" injures high school student. Surprisingly, this article does not make any reference Icy Hot or jockstraps (939mia.com)
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Exclusive pics of Emma Watson's hind quarters (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Art Info) |
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ArtInfo.com thanks FARK for the tip about the three "Star Wars" prequels and lists it as one of the 5 important film events of the week (artinfo.com)
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Wednesday March 7th, 2012: The first sighting in the wild of the "If candidate X can't stand up to {name of domestic partisan blowhard} how can he possibly stand up to {name of scary foreign leader}?" line in the 2012 campaign (news.yahoo.com)
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Jonathan Papelbon says his new fans in Philly are smarter than his old fans in Boston. Prettier, well-dressed Yankee fans agree (espn.go.com)
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I just had to come back to give this place 1 star. Everything started out good, but I woke up at the end of the night with my wallet missing and a sore butt (marketwatch.com)
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Christopher Hitchens's January 2006 Vanity Fair article on the Lord's Resistance Army (vanityfair.com)
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Chart of every MLB player who reportedly lost or gained weight this offseason (and why) (deadspin.com)
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Help me Darth Hoodie you're my only hope Help me Darth Hoodie (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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| (WHDH) |
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Boys engage in friendly game of "seeing who could throw a large rock the farthest". What could possibly go wrong? (www1.whdh.com)
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Thu March 08, 2012
| (Some Bee) |
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NJ Fark Party - Come meet ex-pat Sir Cumference the Flatulent while he's back in the states Join us for some video games & laser tag @ iPlay first & then onto dinner & drinks @ Moore's Tavern (Freehold) Saturday April 7th (moorestavern.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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President Bartlet endorses President Obama (huffingtonpost.ca)
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| (Cyborg Foodie) |
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There's nothing like a fresh guacamole salad to start off a good meal. Especially one made with hand grenades, baseballs and pincushions. Mmm, Mmm, good (entertainment.gather.com)
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What part of OLRTXT HARW DPR REC NAMEC CASE1 EMRG HK US CN HDWR NEWS ENT;0334.HK AAPL.O do you not understand? (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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FDA: Your skin cream may remove freckles, blemishes, heartbeat (mega949.com)
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"The Sheriff's Office insists in court documents that the use of a tank, a bomb robot and 40 deputies was part of its normal course of duties" in arresting a man for owning chickens (azcentral.com)
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With foreclosures starting back up again, home prices may be headed back to 2000 levels (money.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Journalism 101: Make sure the image you choose to illustrate your new article isn't from an old news story, doesn't contains the words "eat ass" (y100.com)
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Breitbart says Ben Smith and Buzzfeed are Obama sycophants who are covering for him as usual, as opposed to the theory they're petulant whiny children who had their nothingburger scooped (breitbart.com)
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Dallas Fark Party, TONIGHT at Jack Daniels Bar and Grill. Starts 6PM - Drew will be there - ALL WELCOME (fark.com)
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New study shows that marriage can keep your heart healthier after surgery. Unless, you know, it's the marriage that put you there in the first place. Then you're pretty much screwed (yourlife.usatoday.com)
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Fark's favorite high school basketball announcer rips his vocal chords once again as team advances in playoffs after coming back from improbable 15-point fourth-quarter deficit (w/video) (deadspin.com)
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When Republican congressmen testify that they never supported green energy loans and never asked Secretary Chu to speed up their approval in their states, they mean never in their *hearts*, not in, like, reality or anything (usatoday.com)
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The biggest solar storm in five years is now hitting Earth. THE SUN IS HERE, EVERYBODY PANIC (space.com)
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Barcelona wins 2-1 to advance to Champions League quarterfinals, or 7-1 if you count Lionel Messi's goals (espn.go.com)
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USC defensive tackle DaJohn Harris issues holehearted explanation for his non-participation in NFL rookie combine (espn.go.com)
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Wed March 07, 2012
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Shootings are up but homicides are down in Milwaukee, proving that the Wisconsin State Legislature needs to stop focusing on concealed-carry laws and start teaching these idiots how to aim properly (jsonline.com)
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Two X-class flares from our star have generated a strong plasma wavefront. It should hit Earth over the next two days (space.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kids: You need to MAINTAIN at the party. If you pass out, your drunken friends will carry you to the car and kill you on the way home. Actually, they'll kill you and themselves, along with some other random drunk guy. This story is a mess (hometownannapolis.com)
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Brazilian late-night shows are a far sight better than their American counterparts: Exhibit A (youtube.com)
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| (WHBL Sheboygan) |
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The police don't really care whether or not you lost a bar bet over a game of darts. You're still not allowed to go jogging while naked (whbl.com)
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A) Too busy submitting articles to FARK (io9.com)
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Good news, TFettes: Here's a list of all the Vegas party pools where you'll be able to go topless for the Fark Convention March 30-April 1 (travel.usatoday.com)
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| (Post City) |
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Earth's most powerful civilizations -- the Romans, the Greeks, the Chinese -- all made a big deal about eating an entire suckling pig as part of a magical ritual. Now the Canadians are discovering the allure (postcity.com)
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Maidenform experiencing some quarterly sagging (marketwatch.com)
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The Melvins are selling their van, which features artwork by Kurt Cobain on the side. I CALL SHOTGUN (rollingstone.com)
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All the Champions League goals of Tuesday's games, including AC Milan's heroic survival at Arsenal, to reach quarter-finals 4-3 on aggregate (eitb.com)
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Imagine a country where there's: No Obamacare, No income tax, A complete free market, No Unions, No Govt involved in Business, Health Care, Labor matters or pretty much anything else except national security. Here's the Tea Party Heaven (democraticunderground.com)
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Tue March 06, 2012
Mon March 05, 2012
Sun March 04, 2012
Sat March 03, 2012
Fri March 02, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Miley Cyrus quotes Laurence Krauss on Twitter, her fans skip the "startdust" part and go directly to the "forget Jesus" past with obvious results (thegoodatheist.net)
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| (Vimeo) |
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What happens when you mount a digital video camera on an electric drill? Let's just say that when you come out the other end, you're a giant embryo floating next to planet Earth (vimeo.com)
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| (Some Fight Card) |
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UFC on FX: Alves vs. Kampmann discussion thread. Great card, plus the Flyweight tournament semifinals. Fights start at 6pm ET on FUEL (ufc.com)
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For $86,500, you can buy a one bedroom house that will be missing two screws, take forever to build with incomprehensible instructions, and fall apart after one year (newsfeed.time.com)
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Friday Instashop challenge: The people at Breitbart are saying they'll release footage of Obama from his college days. What will the tapes show? (google.com)
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Ghost of Andrew Breitbart to release the tapes of Obama's college years in the next 10 days, offering definitive proof the President was once a young, stupid college kid (hotair.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Who would have thought the polygamist in the race would not be either of the two Mormons?" Is this quote from A. Jon Stewart B. Bill Maher or C. Republican Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels (thestarpress.com)
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After his untimely death, the future of Breitbart's media empire is unclear, leading to fears that the nation could suffer a critical shortage of political and pop-culture commentary from d-list celebrities and the clinically insane (abcnews.go.com)
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Police cut straight to the heart of the Arizona criminal gambling empire when they raid elderly women's poker party and summon 98 yr old and 40 others to court (azcentral.com)
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It's 2012. Increased demand for technical and medical workers, so as a state what do you logically do? Why start closing entire engineering, computer science departments and whole colleges of course (cnbc.com)
|
Thu March 01, 2012
Wed February 29, 2012
| (Gazettelive) |
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"Burly" biker sneaks into a hotel owner's living quarters, helped himself to some jewellery, and while there decided to try on a couple of dresses (gazettelive.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Your shopping cart drives itself, monitors your shopping, plans world domination (mega949.com)
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It's confirmed; Bill Murray is not participating in Ghostbusters 3 (slashfilm.com)
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A group of teens on a golf course blast an air horn right as a couple of old farts are about to tee off. Old farts hunt down teens and gouge them with metal golf ball retrievers. Somewhere, Al Czervik is smiling (nwfdailynews.com)
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Martina Navratilova to join celebrity cast of DWTS, immediately begins practice to avoid foot faults (suntimes.com)
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Fight against the sadness, Artaxǃ (dailymail.co.uk)
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David Lee Roth slams new artists; Compares Van Halen to "Watching 'Dragnet' on your iPad" (foundrymusic.com)
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Netflix CEO says the service will become more and more like a cable channel. They've already gotten off to a great start by alienating most of their customers (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Scientists say T-Rex had the toughest bite on earth, surprising ability to bang a gong (msnbc.msn.com)
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If you're going to steal a smart phone, it's probably best not to show your victim the unique tattoo on your abs just before assaulting him (chicagotribune.com)
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Man says Karma helped him win the lottery, will soon buy an El Camino and start righting his past wrongs (seattlepi.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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You think your girl friend is cheating on you. Do you a) hire a private detective? b) follow her to see if she is really "cheating" on you? or c) report a gas leak to see who comes running out of her apartment? (wtae.com)
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Tue February 28, 2012
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Mitt Romney decries despicable tactic of voting in other party's primary, used by such miscreants as Mitt Romney (dailykos.com)
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It is now completely legal for you and your passengers to extend body parts out of your car. And border collies are being paid $3500 to get the flock out of town (stltoday.com)
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Realizing that the Mets will have an uphill climb this year, ownership A) trades for a power-hitting outfielder, B) acquires a flame-throwing starter, C) buys players Underdog tee-shirts (nydailynews.com)
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Gordon Gekko has filmed his PSA as part of his release (cnn.com)
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| (ZeroPaid) |
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Bogus DMCA takedown notice used to take down articles critical of bogus DMCA takedown notices (zeropaid.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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What do Jesus Christ, Darth Vader, a penguin, and a hamburger have in common? C. They all ran in the 2012 Tokyo Marathon (pics) (ani.me)
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Police in Alberta looking for rustlers. Cut throats, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, con men, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, bull dykes, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers and Methodists disheartened (torontosun.com)
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It's dangerous to go alone. A fatal error has occurred and Windows must now restart (gizmodo.com)
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| (Wired UK) |
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Unfortunately the project was cancelled when it was discovered that male subjects drove repeatedly into a wall at high speed, while female subjects drove round in circles until the researchers started screaming at them (wired.co.uk)
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Oscar's wishful thinking. "Billy Crystal...seemed to be overseeing a cruise ship dinner show designed to appeal to the over-50 travel club. Early on, it hit the rocks and started to list. Almost everyone drowned" (washingtonpost.com)
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Police describe meth-lab blast as particularly violent. Apparently where they're from, most blasts are little fuzzy cuddly things and quite docile (tulsaworld.com)
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Five bionic body parts that can turn you into a real cyborg (techeblog.com)
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Have a heart, the banks are the real victims here (bloomberg.com)
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Republican Party started out anti-Mormon. Tomorrow will reveal if it still is (sltrib.com)
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Apparently enough kids drink energy drinks in elementary schools to warrant a whole article about why they should be banned (slate.com)
|
Mon February 27, 2012
| (PW Mania) |
|
Due to a change to Daytona's start time, John Cena unable wave the green flag to kick off one scripted sports entertainment show full of manufactured excitement so he can be at the other. WWE Monday Night Raw, live at 9PM on USA (pwmania.com)
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The Artist's win is a tribute to Harvey Weinstein's tenacity, vision, attention whoring (latimes.com)
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Why the Republican party is a dying entity (nymag.com)
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Research has determined that politcal parties that are against sex do not gain votes. Turns out that sex is popular (nytimes.com)
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| (TED) |
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Forget the Magna Carta, there's a declaration of human rights over 2600 years old, and it has the power to change the world (ted.com)
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Brooklyn hipster biatches to NYC DEP about 64-year-old local deli because it smells too much like real roasted coffee and not enough like fair-trade double-roasted artisanally cuddled beans (gothamist.com)
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So far, Earth's radio broadcasts have penetrated 200 light years into the cosmos. For a comparison of that to the galaxy, find the tiny yellow dot (dailymail.co.uk)
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Nokia releases new Symbian smart phone with 41 megapixel camera. That vibrate mode must sure be something (zdnet.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Singer Charlotte Church receives 600,000 pounds ($951,000) in phone hacking settlement. That's both the headline and the article (kptv.com)
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| (Viral Footage) |
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Tilt shift of the Carnaval party in Rio de Janeiro (viralfootage.com)
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Sun February 26, 2012
Sat February 25, 2012
Fri February 24, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
Just as you think Stephen Hawking could not get any cooler, here is an article about his swinging habits (kfiam640.com)
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The best street food on Earth. Not a pretzel or hot dog in sight (guardian.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Three men participate in fraudulent hand job for insurance money. Hand still solo. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker unavailable for comment (charlotte.cbslocal.com)
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U.S. Marine Corps gets go-ahead to start shelling New Jersey this weekend (nj.com)
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Article: pending bill would allow (shooting) "to kill, whether they are in a car, at a campground or on a boat." Article remains silent on right of shooting to kill from afar, in a compound, or with a goat (startribune.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Number of US students in UK at record levels - 'Three-quarters of American employers consider UK degrees to be the same as or better than US degrees' (timeshighereducation.co.uk)
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In what's nothing more than a cheap cash-in on The Phantom Menace, Darth Maul is returning to The Clone Wars. But damn if it doesn't look awesome (usatoday.com)
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While the Republican presidential candidates seem to have a monopoly on eccentric billionaire supporters, the Obama campaign fights back with a powerful secret weapon: Merchandising. The Schwartz is strong in this one (news.yahoo.com)
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Riot police sent to Orlando mall because people there were A) part of the Occupy movement, B) protesting the war in Afghanistan, or C) trying to buy glow-in-the-dark shoes (miamiherald.com)
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Alien creates amazing "crop circles" in the snow, some of which take five hours of super-human work. Whoops. Subby meant to say "artist" and "five hours of stomping while wearing a PS once it gets hard and boring" (dailymail.co.uk)
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AIG records $17.7 billion taxpayer bailout for the fourth quarter (reuters.com)
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WHERE art thou? (techeblog.com)
|
| (GalleristNY) |
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Want a nice luxury car custom designed by top artists and with a back seat that can fit a bunch of supermodels? For just $150k, the Maybach from 'Otis' could be yours (galleristny.com)
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Asinine: Councillor celebrated his re-election by sexually assaulting a schoolgirl at a drunken party. Classy: Blames his sons and their friends for child porn on his PC. Bonus: Was Chairman of Child Welfare Committee (bbc.co.uk)
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Everything you need to know about the Super PACs in one handy chart. This is bad news...for everyone not named Romney (slate.com)
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Romney: The car companies should have been bailed out by private capital instead of the government. Former car czar: Uh, we talked to every single possible private financer and nobody wanted any part of it (nytimes.com)
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"Jon Huntsman calls for third party" Uh, how about America First Party, American Party, American Populist Party, American Socialist Party, American Third Position Party, or the America's Party. And that's just the A's Jon (rawstory.com)
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NorCal Vegas Liver Warm-Up party: Friday, Feb 24th @ 7:30 PM @ Lefty O'Doul's. Drew will be there (fark.com)
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| (Gather.com) |
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This is why Spielberg started the whole "UFO hiding behind a cloud" thing. Damn, Nature You scary (news.gather.com)
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Thu February 23, 2012
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"She is survived by her Son, 'A.J.', who loved and cared for her; Daughter 'Ninfa,' who betrayed her trust, and Son 'Peter,' who broke her heart (upi.com)
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Researchers studying sizes of mammals throughout Earth's periods of warmth and cold suggest global warming could make us shorter, dwarfing our other problems (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| (Android Central) |
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Samsung and AT&T unveil new submersible, dust proof and shock absorbent, military grade smart phone for under $100. Which is $300 less than Apple will charge when they "invent" it in two years (androidcentral.com)
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After reporting a $2.4 billion fourth-quarter loss, Sears Holdings announces plans to again rearrange the metaphorical Titanic deck chairs, says it will sell off its hardware outlets and preexisting stores in malls nationwide (latimes.com)
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Women ban husbands from cafe after barista starts wearing revealing outfits. w/ adequate supply of pics (Not safe for work) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Come for a party with the stars in the Florida Keys. No, not stars like Lady Gaga and that Bieber thing. Real stars (washingtonpost.com)
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Our old friend Earth may have "gotten around" in its youth, leaving rare "deposits" in other stars. Giggity (news.discovery.com)
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Adele's 21 enjoys its 21st week atop the charts, breaking Whitney Houston's record. 21 had the biggest Grammy sales boost in 21 years. While you're reading this, Set Fire to the Rain is on the radio for the 21st time in 21 hours (music-mix.ew.com)
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14 year old girl dies at party from inhaling helium, party guests tried to revive her by pinching her lip corners and letting the helium out with little squeaks to no avail (news.yahoo.com)
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Maryland lawmaker proposes that drunk driving asshats be mandated to participate in the ignition interlock program, even on a first offense, if their DUI happens while there are children in the car (wtop.com)
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It may be hard to believe, but apparently a few of the statements made during last night's GOP debate were a just a tiny little off the mark in the truthiness department. Fact checking, how does it work? (wrcbtv.com)
|
| (Madison East) |
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If you are going to be an impostor do you: a) become an airline pilot, b) weasel your way into a party at the White House, or c) become general manager at Denny's? (madisoneast.channel3000.com)
|
| (Smithsonian Magazine) |
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Why video games should be considered high art (smithsonianmag.com)
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| (nbc) |
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Just when you thought he couldn't get any worse... Tebow takes a nine-year-old cancer patient to the Cartoon Network awards show (offthebench.nbcsports.com)
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Wed February 22, 2012
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Former DNC chair to buy the two most prestigious and influential newspapers in a critical swing-state with funds provided by Democratic donors. Of course the newspapers will remain legit and non-parti..Ok I couldn't not laugh (washingtontimes.com)
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| |
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1. Loosen shelf, knock over boxes. 2. Get under boxes. 3. Tip over cart. 4. Cry "HELP." 5. Hit self in head with batteries. 6. Drink soda, eat crackers. 7. Vomit. 8. File for worker's comp. 9. Forget about store security cameras (nj.com)
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High school student masters the art of playing basketball well enough to shoot hoops while in a coma (foxnews.com)
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Warmer planet could be dominated by mosquitoes, ticks, rodents, jellyfish, tea party (scientificamerican.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Grandfather who accused Austin PD of overreacting to him "babysitting while white" forced to recant part of his blog post after police release dash cam video of the incident (thegrio.com)
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Georgia Dems propose vasectomy ban in response to anti-abortion bill. Republican men look prepared to start a "My vas deferens, my choice" movement (huffingtonpost.com)
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Finally, the article you've all been eagerly waiting for: The secrets of 19th century Italian mummy heads (news.nationalgeographic.com)
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 |
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And a hearty congratulations to Stephen Brewster of Sarasota, who is happily celebrating his 40th anniversary. What's that? Oh, I'm sorry. His 40th arrest (wtsp.com)
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With all other crime taken care of, Rio de Janeiro takes aim at Carnival urinators. Fark: The first part of that sentence is actually close to being pretty accurate (news.yahoo.com)
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Band plays intro theme for Game of Thrones at house party (youtube.com)
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Santorum: "There's no such thing as a liberal Christian." Apart from Christ, apparently (huffingtonpost.com)
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"Can Danica Patrick win the Daytona 500?" Sure, if the other 42 cars fail to start (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Foreign investors learn the hard way what Michigan folks know already: investing in Detroit real estate isn't for the faint of heart (detroitnews.com)
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And lo, the moon became as blood, and the seventh seal opened, and Fox News wrote an article railing against a tax cut (foxbusiness.com)
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Little Green Footballs hears about Heartland threatening to sue them over illegally obtained info. (Yeah, Downfall parody) (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Theme: Fark Vegas World Party 2012 predictions (pledgebank.com)
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Headline: "Female photographer travels America to peer inside a truly masculine domain... that doesn't always involve cars". Article: 8 out of 16 pictured involve transportation (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue February 21, 2012
| (We Heart It) |
|
We Heart It thinks that FARK's witty headline about a shopping cart accident hits a bullseye (weheartit.com)
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Gen Y is coming to the rescue. No this is not an OWS article, it's a CEO article (finance.yahoo.com)
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Police are still unsure why he killed himself, but they're starting to think it may have had something to do with that other body he had in his garbage can (970wfla.com)
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Facebook nudity/gore standards revealed. Cartoon poo is okay, real poo is right out, ear wax is a no-go, deep flesh wounds are all right long as they're innards-free, and vomit is off limits unless you dust for it (telegraph.co.uk)
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Judge clears way for Sherrod to sue Breitbart in defamation suit (dailykos.com)
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Recently discovered photographs suggest that, decades ago, Mardi Gras was a refined, subdued, elegant affair ... uhm ... can someone ask those obviously hammered dudes in bras and garters to move it along? (life.time.com)
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The new reality for the Baby Boomer generation is 'work til you drop'. So what does that mean for you younger people? Well for starters, less jobs (hosted.ap.org)
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The high art of desktop cooking, or, how to get a decent meal when your heartless boss won't let you have a lunch break (slate.com)
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Wal-Mart profit falls 15%. Chinese worker rations slashed to half bowl of rice per day (marketwatch.com)
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New antibiotic-resistant superbug infecting humans across the globe is coming from pork. Delicious, tasty, pork. Isn't this how that Contagion movie started? (npr.org)
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The best way to become an airline billionaire is to become a billionaire, then start your airline. Naming it after your beer is a nice touch (in.reuters.com)
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Climate scientist lied to obtain Heartland documents, so global warming is false and Sarah Palin is automatically President (boingboing.net)
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Dominic Strauss-Kahn, who definitely didn't rape that maid in New York, or the other several women who alleged it, nor has he frequented prostitutes, is now being held on suspicion of using company funds for prostitute sex parties (msnbc.msn.com)
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4.0 earthquake shakes four Southern states. West Coasters nearly pull a stomach muscle laughing (wrcbtv.com)
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Ric Romero leaves KABC in Los Angeles and takes a new position at the New York Times...which is the only explanation for the NYT publishing articles that "expose" that Super PACs bring in big money (nytimes.com)
|
| (Patch) |
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Odd presidential trivia leaves one wondering which makes a president greater: being a licensed bartender, or swimming naked in the Potomac? (plainfield.patch.com)
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Those ads offering a free ticket to another country and a good job as a bartender, maid, or nanny? Hell yes they're a trap (articles.boston.com)
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Headline: "Mom warns of energy drink dangers after boy falls out of car." Article: "her son had been drinking an energy drink laced with alcohol" (wtop.com)
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Photoshop theme: Drew is going to mentor entrepreneurs and help startup companies. Photoshop some of the ideas he'll be pitched. LGT article (kentucky.com)
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Headline: Is our society about to turn into the Matrix? Article: No (npr.org)
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Alan Rickman, he of the ladypart-melting voice, turns 66 today. Here's his reading of Sonnet 130, known on Fark as "Ode To A Girl With Sharp Knees" (youtube.com)
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| (Thanks but no tanks) |
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Thanksbutnotanks.com: "The commenters are the best part of FARK" (thanksbutnotanks.fr33agents.com)
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Photographer uses glow stick and long exposure to make neat stick figure portraits. Bonus: "Pablo Picass-glow" (dailymail.co.uk)
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Mon February 20, 2012
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Man goes into Walmart bathroom stall, sits down, drops his revolver, the revolver shoots a bullet, the bullet goes through the stall door, hits a wall, ricochets into a ceiling light, back onto the floor toward a man standing at a urinal. Ta-da (azcentral.com)
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Japanese fart scrolls prove that human art peaked centuries ago (io9.com)
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"Derek Jeter already has reported to spring training so he can get an early start autographing bats and baseballs to put in the gift baskets he'll send women home with this year" (espn.go.com)
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Rose Cliver, who survived the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake, dies at 109. In other news, there are still 4 other survivors of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake (sfgate.com)
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Sun February 19, 2012
Sat February 18, 2012
Fri February 17, 2012
Thu February 16, 2012
| |
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For his client's new contract, Joe Flacco's agent seeks Top 5 quarterback money, unlimited supply of Lunchables, and a hot cocoa machine at Joey's locker (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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Gary Edmund Carter. "Kid." Expos 1974-84, 1992; Mets 1985-89; Giants 1990; Dodgers 1991; Angels 2012 (nytimes.com)
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5-foot-6 Congressman Luis Gutierrez: "I'm pleased to announce today that if Newt Gingrich can speak for all Catholics, I'm going to start speaking for all tall people" (huffingtonpost.com)
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GOP Congressman: Democrats engage in "the most insidious form of slavery remaining in the world today." Apart from actual slavery, apparently (rawstory.com)
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Neighbor from Hell wears sunglasses at night, flashes crotch at kids birthday party, flips the bird to news reporter (myfoxtwincities.com)
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Petrobras starts leaking, leading to questions about the safety of petrobreast enhancement (marketwatch.com)
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Agent 97? Casting for latest Get Smart agent has begun. WDYT? (youtube.com)
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Jon Stewart is the best Joe Lieberman performance artist evah (thedailyshow.com)
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Iron Sky, the Finnish sci-fi movie depicting an attack on Earth from Nazi communities hidden on the dark side of the moon, just debuted in Berlin. Bonus: it's also coming to the US (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Paul McCartney says he's finally quitting cannabis for his 8-year-old daughter. Japan unavailable for comment. Bonus: Pic of zombie Bob Dylan (dailymail.co.uk)
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This just in: There's this thing called the "Internet", and you can use it to order things, like, such as, pizzas. Thanks for that newsflash, Domino's ad disguised as a news article (dailymail.co.uk)
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If you had "less than a week" before the Whitney Houston lesbian rumors started to surface, come forward and claim your prize (dailymail.co.uk)
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Microsoft flags Google as suspicious site. This is not an Onion article (msnbc.msn.com)
|
Wed February 15, 2012
Tue February 14, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Challenge: improve this artistic sandwich (justgoup.ru)
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Not news: GOP tries to get amendment into bipartisan highway bill. Awjeeznotthisshiatagain: Allowing all employers to deny paying for birth control related health services (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Caption this newly married couple's last few seconds on earth (msnbcmedia.msn.com)
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While liberals love him and wish they had him in office, when you get right down to it, Jed Bartlet was not a very good liberal president (thinkprogress.org)
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The guy in the background of this Olympic swimmer's heartfelt proposal video just steals the show (sports.yahoo.com)
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I don't expect witty repartee kid, just give me a sign when the diaper is full so I can wait it out in the basement (myfoxdc.com)
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You don't have to be too smart to coach high school sports. Just smart enough to not post nude photos of yourself to Facebook (sunjournal.com)
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Greg Brady, Danny Partridge, Sherilyn Fenn, Johnny Fever, Alice Cooper, and Bigfoot. Together finally (insidetv.ew.com)
|
| (Ogden Standard-Examiner) |
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Dads, before showing "The Smurfs" DVD from your laptop at your kid's birthday party, make sure you didn't store porn movies on it as well (standard.net)
|
Mon February 13, 2012
 |
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Adam Adamowicz, concept artist for Fallout and Skyrim, passes away after losing his fight against cancer (joystiq.com)
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Whitney Houston's death may be third biggest thing to fall into Dolly Parton's lap (huffingtonpost.com)
|
| (The Mercury) |
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If you are Australia's most notorious hired gun, brag about having killed 19 people, and go by the nickname "Chopper", your son's Little Athletics group probably won't let you anywhere near the starter's pistol (themercury.com.au)
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| (some mark) |
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Can the Welsh Corgi beat the Collie for Best Herding Breed? Will a Pug derp its way into being named Best in Show? Find out who wins at the Westminster Dog Show, starting one hour before WWE Monday Night Raw, 9 PM Eastern on USA (wwe.com)
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History will remember George H.W. Bush for his part in the first Gulf War, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and his fabulously colored socks (chron.com)
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There are many layers to the OWS onion, and each one is more difficult than the last to peel back. But it's starting to look like there is a single, rotten core at the dark center of this movement, and that core's name is ... ACORN (foxnews.com)
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Something called MySpace announces it signed up 1 million new members in December. This could be the start of something big (foxnews.com)
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Without question the best thing to come out of Bon Iver winning the Best New Artist Grammy are the flood of "Who is Bonnie Bear/Bony Bear?" tweets (uproxx.com)
|
| (Some Numismatist) |
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Due to unpopular demand, the US Mint will make but not circulate Presidential $1 coins beginning with the coveted Chester A. Arthur coin (usmint.gov)
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If you use marginal HoF players and Al Cowens to argue that your favorite player is Hall of Fame worthy, maybe you started at a bad place. Also, if you argue that OBP and walks are why he is so great, try listing those stats. Bill James fail (grantland.com)
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Lexington Herald does a full page story on FARK and Drew. "When Drew Curtis started Fark.com, he was a 26-year-old smart aleck ...Now, Curtis is a 39-year-old smart aleck" (kentucky.com)
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Get ready for Occupy @ part 2 (nytimes.com)
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Ellen Degeneres' recent controversy over her partnership with JC Penney is prompting protests from the LGBT community, presumably over one of their own wearing clothes from JC Penney (huffingtonpost.com)
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Australia decides turnabout is fair play and starts sending criminals back to the UK (abc.net.au)
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Sun February 12, 2012
Sat February 11, 2012
Fri February 10, 2012
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Get this: according to recently departed Susan G. Komen exec. Karen Handel, Planned Parenthood is a "bully" that broke a "ladies' agreement" to keep quiet about their funding cut (thedailybeast.com)
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It's starting to look as if the roles are now reversed - that Obama is Lucy with the football, and the Republicans are Charlie Brown (slate.com)
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While Mitt, Santorum and Newt are busy ripping each other apart, Ron Paul is quietly amassing delegates. Stop snickering (slate.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Now that gay marriage is legal in California, the state's Health Department thought it was necessary to print a "how to have gay sex" manual (fox40.com)
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| (NBC Chicago) |
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Cop pulls gun on woman for taking too many items through the self-check out at WalMart, because 9 months pregnant or not, rules are rules (nbcchicago.com)
|
| (msnbc) |
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IRS updates their smartphone app. Will now check your tax return and immediately tell how much jail time you can realistically expect to serve (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Artist awarded $2500 for lost French fries after using high priced lawyer, a few bargaining chips (thelocal.de)
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Mets GM Sandy Alderson finally starts a Twitter account. First tweet: "Big fundraiser tonight for gas money" (sports.yahoo.com)
|
| (Some NDP Girl) |
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The Adderal and Booze defense trial starts, small town reporter with butt in seat blog (c-ville.com)
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Smart chimp solves complex memory puzzles in 60-milliseconds, might be Caesar from Planet of the Apes (techeblog.com)
|
| (International Liberty) |
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The more a government spends the worse off the economy. Part 2 (danieljmitchell.wordpress.com)
|
| (International Liberty) |
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The more a government spends the worse off the economy. Part 1 (danieljmitchell.wordpress.com)
|
| (Some Joe C. Sidekick) |
|
Kid Rock steps out from Waffle House melee to refute his Not-Made-In-Detroit clothing line charges; "Let me first start off by cordially inviting you to go f*ck yourself" (kidrock.com)
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Pepsi fourth quarter revenue up 11 percent to $20.16 billion, to celebrate by laying off 8,700 (cbsnews.com)
|
Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
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Vulcans dealing with Pon Farr, Microsoft defenestrating 200 workers, and Don Cornelius starting off Black History Month with a bang: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/29 - 2/4 (fark.com)
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Man barricades himself in apartment after concluding that someone stole and ate his chicken meal (blog.sfgate.com)
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Chicago learns the hard way that elementary school children can sneak gang symbols into contest artwork just like adults can (chicagotribune.com)
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Ok, for the last time, the 7-year-old girls in Walmart are NOT free samples. Please make a note of it (ajc.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Someone at The American Spectator has finally started asking the right questions (spectator.org)
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 |
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Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons (orlandosentinel.com)
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"Apple's iconic smartphone has almost single-handedly devastated profit margins for Verizon and AT&T" (money.cnn.com)
|
| (We Heart It) |
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We Heart It loves everything about FARK's big Jane Russell headline (weheartit.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Sprint gained, that's right, Sprint gained a net 1.6 million customers last quarter, the best result in 6 years, giving them their highest subscriber base ever. And Sprint lost 1.3 billion dollars last quarter (techcrunch.com)
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| |
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After continued mouse to mouse resuscitation, Disney quarterly profits soar another 12% (latimes.com)
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Mitt Romney's latest proposal has been denounced by TEA party leaders, The Club For Growth, and the US Chamber of Commerce and described as "class warfare". The proposal? Making sure the minimum wage keeps up with inflation (news.yahoo.com)
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Fark.com gets a shoutout in an article about replicating Silicon Valley entrepreneurship (vator.tv)
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Prince Frederic von Anhalt throws lavish 95th birthday party for Zsa Zsa Gabor, complete with buffet and 130 guests. Zsa Zsa spends day wishing for sweet embrace of death to finally come claim her. (with sad pics) (dailymail.co.uk)
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| |
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Think you're a nerd? Think again. This guy created a huge family tree of Middle Earth which took six years (geekout.blogs.cnn.com)
|
| (The Hindu) |
|
TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped (thehindu.com)
|
Tue February 07, 2012
Mon February 06, 2012
Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
|
Last week: Tennessee state senator claims that AIDS was the result of one guy who had sex with a monkey and then had sex with other guys. Let's run it through PolitiFact's Truth-o-Meter and...uh oh, call the fire department (politifact.com)
|
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Miami named most miserable U.S. city by panel of judges who have never been to Hartford (old.news.yahoo.com)
|
| (LA Weekly) |
|
There's dick, there's douchebag, and now there's "dart player" (laweekly.com)
|
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Betting on any Super Bowl props this year? LGT article with insane list of this year's prop bets (wtsp.com)
|
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All right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what has infrastructure done for us? (huffingtonpost.com)
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There may be too many people for Earth, but not for Super Earth (time.com)
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Alien visitation is not going to happen. SLEEP. There is nothing on our planet that aliens would need. OBEY. If intelligent creatures exist on other planets they likely won't visit Earth. CONSUME (nydailynews.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams to star in new SyFy original movie. Surprisingly, it's not a movie about traveling back in time to when people would want to see Greg Brady and Danny Partridge (tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Sure, we've all sped when we were running late for work. It's just that most of us didn't have weed and meth on us, nor did we decide to start a fight with the cops who stopped us (dailycommercial.com)
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Drunk woman tells officer she cannot take DUI test because "of these big boobies" ...it almost worked until she started to dance (with mugshot goodness) (wptv.com)
|
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Woman dies on her 110th birthday. Perhaps the surprise party was a bad idea (suntimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
You can tell Valentine's Day is near, because the media has produced the first "ZOMG, PERVERTED CANDY HEARTS" story of the season (kcra.com)
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Crematorium to broadcast funerals live on the internet, allowing you to toast the dearly departed in your bathrobe (mirror.co.uk)
|
Thu February 02, 2012
| |
|
Disabled artist paints beautiful landscapes with his mouth. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)
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|
After the earthquake, it appears that waste water dumping in Ohio has become a big fracking deal (businessweek.com)
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"Start saving your pennies now. People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I'm worth it" (starpulse.com)
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The Superbowl is Sunday, so here's the annual "The stress of the game could kill you" article (big1059.com)
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Yes, your cubicle art is amazing. No, you are still fired for wasting company time (neatorama.com)
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US soldier serving Afghanistan brings a lot of dust into his daughter's kindergarten class (youtube.com)
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|
California now getting 5% of its electricity from wind. Savvy lawmakers to propose harnessing energy from wild fires, mud slides, earthquakes (articles.latimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Danish animation school decides to place every popular 80's cartoon opening in a blender, resulting in a fine paste known as Space Stallions (awesome-robo.com)
|
| |
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Researchers say scratching feels better on certain parts of your body. Sounds like junk science to me (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)
|
Wed February 01, 2012
| |
|
The FBI likes to intimidate suspects by using a chainsaw to go through apartment doors, a technique that's especially intimidating when they saw through the wrong door (thedailybeast.com)
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|
DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters (nytimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Article offers realistic counterpoint to Bloomberg's "Real Cost of Being a Video Gamer" idiocy (tomsguide.com)
|
| |
|
Anthrax mailings, once the tool of domestic terrorists, are now being used by wannabe rappers and apartment hunters (slate.com)
|
| |
|
You are biatching about the wrong things when you read an article about science (io9.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The "electability" argument is bankrupt on both philosophical and practical grounds. It destroys the party's soul and guarantees defeat (spectator.org)
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 |
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John Elway says the Broncos are in the market for quarterbacks, would settle for having just one (fannation.com)
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|
Police seize 1500 pounds of pot from NY apartment, estimate its street value at $7.5 million. Dude, $5000 a pound? In New York? Must have been some crappy stuff (foxnews.com)
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| |
|
Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Man busted for driving around on a moped armed with a Walther P22, a Steyr M9, and a Japanese dagger-shaped martial arts weapon while looking for "the man" (palmbeachpost.com)
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Mitt Romney follows up his decisive Florida primary win with another shot to the foot: I'm not concerned about the very poor...that's what the Democratic party is for (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| |
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Don Cornelius starts Black History month off with a bang (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)
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|
Classic TV locations get turned into moody pieces of art. Something wicked is coming for Moe's Tavern (shortlist.com)
|
| |
|
Not to alarm anyone, but deep space particles are invading the solar system. And they're definitely not self-assembling near Jupiter into an autonomous, horrifying death ship of staggering power (sciencedaily.com)
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| |
|
A huge mighty earthquake is gonna hit California and day soon now, so look out (liveleak.com)
|
Tue January 31, 2012
 |
|
Two women sexually assault man with pliers, article includes a helpful picture of what a pair of pliers may look like (twincities.com)
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| |
|
Economies of midwest states, particularly Michigan, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania, have improved faster than the rest of the U.S. since 2009. Not that this fact has any particular relevance in this particular year (bloomberg.com)
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| |
|
It takes 24 million generations to grow from mouse size to elephant size, according to evolutionary biologists who have never been to WalMart (wired.com)
|
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|
Android handset makers stop worrying so much about competing with Apple... and start worrying about competing with Samsung (businessweek.com)
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 |
|
Best interview question ever? "When you're doing fight scenes with Ewan McGregor, did you ever start to think about a Star Wars prequel? You know, 'I could punch him in the face now and it would be called an accident'" (denofgeek.com)
|
| (FrogSoda) |
|
Bartender makes 120 saki bombs in 8 seconds (frogsoda.com)
|
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|
You know your day is going to suck when it starts with a police chase ending on your ass, literally (wsbtv.com)
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Why not spice up your stale sex life with some hot threesomes between you, your husband and your 15 year old cousin? Apart from the court case and the awkward family dinners of course (stuff.co.nz)
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| |
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Fark headline recipe: article about female teacher having sex with students (check), vodak (check), Not Sure if Want pic (check) (dailymail.co.uk)
|
Mon January 30, 2012
| |
|
Wal-Mart is now getting rid of door greeters entirely. But now who will harass us, demanding to see the receipt for the 24-pack of toilet paper we just bought but was too big for the bag? (bloomberg.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Mother-of-the-year tarts up 5-year-old for TV, sues media for $30M because her snowflake is "perceived sexually" (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Paul McCartney might write music for computer games. C:\HOWTHEY\RUN (nme.com)
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| (Kitsap Sun) |
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Drunk 21 year old enters wrong apartment, climbs into bed with 80 year old woman. He told police nothing happened, at least nothing he wanted to admit (kitsapsun.com)
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Artist tells proposal tale through stop action LEGO video (abcnews.go.com)
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New study shows that Americans' political views are not that far apart. In other news Yankees and Red Sox fans have friendly get together (news.yahoo.com)
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| (The Register) |
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RIM tops smartphone sales chart in 2011 in the UK, where it is apparently still 2001 (reghardware.com)
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| (SlashGear) |
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It's yet another article about a Facebook "upgrade" that has people "considering" deleting their profiles. It's like tech writers aren't even trying anymore. Time to feed the dogs, Mr. Pavlov (slashgear.com)
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Another Club Med closes, narrowing the list of vacation destinations for balding, hairy-backed men hoping to get invited to a swinger party as they wander about the beach sucking down pina coladas while in the full throes of a mid-life crisis (couriermail.com.au)
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News: Martin Scorsese pens angry op-ed piece bemoaning the lack of awards love for an actor from his latest film. Fark: Said actor is a Doberman named Blackie (shortlist.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ford still owns 12% of Aston Martin, which corresponds to 12% of the new Fusion being an Aston Martin. Can you guess which 12% that is? (ford.com)
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From the "This Will Not End Well" Department: Scientists make human brain cells using the skin of schizophrenic patients (news.com.au)
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New analysis of data from the summer of 2003 in NYC shows rise in deaths were attributed to blackout, not customer heart attacks after receiving Con Ed bills (foxnews.com)
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6.3 earthquake hits Peru. Twelve injured, flights delayed, travelers still not able to get over Machu Picchu (bbc.co.uk)
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CNN graphics department doesn't know where London is (mirror.co.uk)
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Brooklyn residents will soon start heating their houses with their own poo (guardian.co.uk)
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| (WBIR) |
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Tennessee Tea Party wants to remove slavery from textbooks. But don't you dare call them racist (wbir.com)
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Sun January 29, 2012
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