Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		GLOBAL WARMING may cause snow to fall in the Midwest this weekend. Because it never snows after February in the Midwest  (press-citizen.com)	(120)
(WWL)		The EPA wants to know if long-term fracking using massive hot injections could be harmful to your health  (wwl.com)	(28)
		Armed robber goes to a grocery store, pulls out a knife, and demands cash. Do the other customers: a.) hold him at gunpoint until the cops arrive, b.) tackle him and take his knife away, or c.) bring him down with a hail of vegetables?  (news.com.au)	(42)

		The United States Army has changed how they train soldiers for the first time in over 30 years. Apparently, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare doesn't prepare you to carry 60 pounds of gear in the desert  (aolnews.com)	(197)
		$75 million in pharmaceuticals stolen from Eli Lilly & Co warehouse; thieves said to be happy, erect, steady-legged, may be unable to sleep, pee, breathe, eat, should contact a doctor if symptoms last more than four hours  (online.wsj.com)	(58)

(Some Guy)		Al Gore helpfully explains that weather is not climate, except when it is. And climate change is not global warming, unless it's getting warmer. Otherwise, you should be very afraid of weather. Got all that?  (businessandmedia.org)	(337)
		Obama revises the military succession plan if the Defense Secretary should die: First his deputy, followed by the Army Secretary, the Navy Secretary, and then, oddly, Chuck Norris  (nytimes.com)	(28)
		Facebook is looking for their next "killer game". Something iconic, something like a farming mermaid aquarium Sim type of thing  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(47)

(Some Guy Some Guy Some Guy)		Our "assembly-line" work mentality is harmful to our well-being. Our "assembly-line" work mentality is harmful to our well-being. Our "assembly-line" work mentality is harmful to our well-being  (utne.com)	(49)
		Fark gets a warm reception from The Seattle Times for its headline about Snuggie-wearing Cavaliers fans  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
		Climate scientists, geology conspire to counter another global warming denier talking point  (newscientist.com)	(182)
		Camp Pendleton invaded by shawarma, pita, hummus, and falafel  (online.wsj.com)	(131)

		Next time the GOP whines about reconciliation, remind them of the unprecedented manner which they passed the Medicare Prescription Drug Benefit bill: extend a 15-minute vote for 3 hours while they bribed and strong-armed dissenters  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(126)
(KUDA 1610)		Buying legal firearms? That's illegal  (kuda1610.com)	(312)
		Did the CIA test LSD in the New York City subway system? "The experiment was pretty shocking - shocking that the CIA and the Army would release LSD like that, among innocent unwitting folks"  (nypost.com)	(79)

Most have come to question the evidence surrounding global warming. Then there's Time magazine, which has apparently found the super-mega-ultra big gulp of kool-aid  (time.com)

(299)

(Some Whipple)		Woman accused of stealing 500 rolls of toilet paper from her employer; she tried to talk her way out of it with security, but she wasn't charmin enough  (thedailytimes.com)	(30)
		Fox News speculates on what will cause the end of the world. Armies of invisible sky people battling evil creatures from the pit strangely absent  (foxnews.com)	(28)
(VolunteerTV)		Spring is in the air, so it must be time for AAA to announce that gas prices are going to go up because of the warmer weather  (volunteertv.com)	(19)
		Today's needless fearmongering article to parents: going down a slide with your child on your lap can break their leg  (oregonlive.com)	(98)
		U.S. Army Ranger Captain, Silver Star recipient, loses his Army career because Higher Headquarters didn't allocate him enough resources. Seems fair, right?  (cbsnews.com)	(213)

		The nail in the coffin of global warming? Three of four temperature datasets now "irrevocably tainted."  (pajamasmedia.com)	(226)
		The Video Game Bosses' Lament - "I didn't say an army of enemies had breached our defenses...it's one guy...ONE GUY has been killing you all by the hundreds."  (collegehumor.com)	(22)
		You folks, those of you up there, reportedly seek torrential rain in harm's way down there, over in white stuff some of you thus really marred mute point  (interact.stltoday.com)	(36)
		House GOP moves to ban earmarks  (thehill.com)	(153)
		Whoever said, "There's no harm in asking," clearly never submitted a request under the Indian government's Right to Information Act  (csmonitor.com)	(49)

		What do you get when you combine a man, some farm equipment, an angry bull and a carbomb? If you guessed the first Pakistani arcade game, disarm the package containing your prize  (kotaku.com)	(30)
		Fresh off an armed raid of three bars for violating a silly administrative policy on beer, State Police raid a city beer distributor and seize cases of expensive Belgian and German brews  (philly.com)	(118)
		Research shows, Problem Children twice as likely to suffer chronic pain as adults. Karma tag sleeping peacefully  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(64)
		NYPD informs public that rooftop sculptures are not jumpers, and that gargoyles are harmless as long as you DO NOT BLINK  (nj.com)	(167)

(SciFi Squad)		Eight science fiction films you didn't realize were science fiction until you went "Woah" about two-thirds of the way through. With spoilers as massive as Alec Baldwin's head  (scifisquad.com)	(235)
		Why modern video game armies lack female troops  (kotaku.com)	(88)

Six armed gunmen go all in, rob Berlin poker tournament on live TV  (youtube.com)

(67)

		Nancy Pelosi says there's no link between nice, fat, juicy earmarks immediately following nice, fat, juicy campaign contributions. Next up: Debunking the link between sex and pregnancy  (reason.com)	(85)
		Armed robbers in $1 million perfume warehouse heist who shouted "NYPD, hands up" may be criminals, but at least they're not liars  (nj.com)	(43)
		Now that Israel and Turkey are all pissy at each other, Turkey can't get the U.S. pro-Israeli lobby to ensure the U.S. congress doesn't accuse Turkey of an Armenian Genocide  (jpost.com)	(59)
		In a move sure to burnish its reputation as the toughest, most hardcore branch of America's armed forces, Navy fires captain for cursing out sailors and hurting their feelings  (time.com)	(295)

		Underwater bubbles caused by gas stir warming fears. Wives still unamused in the tub  (abcnews.go.com)	(102)
(Some Kentucky Guy)		Not News: Man loses his job. News: He's a sheriff who improperly used his firearm. Fark: To shoot his way out of the jail cell he locked himself in  (courier-journal.com)	(44)
		Deaf, dumb and blind armless people now have a shot at pinball wizardry  (npr.org)	(31)
		Louisiana Sheriff forms a posse out of scared overweight McCain supporters and arms them with shotguns, riot shields, and .50 caliber equiped "war wagon"  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(135)

		We arm the world/We arm the children/We want the world to be a deader place/So let's start killin'  (aolnews.com)	(114)
		Dear Unemployed Masses in the Flyover States, thanks a bunch for the bailout dough, we're fine now, heading out to the Hamptons in a few. Hope things work out for you on your farm-thing or whatever. Love, NYC  (cnbc.com)	(48)

		Fox News totally debunks Global Warming theory, negating 100 years of science and p'owning you tree huggers. They even have a Global Warming "critic" to back them up  (foxnews.com)	(235)
		China, one of the last major holdouts to a global warming treaty, is coincidentally conducting research on how they can make an ice-free Arctic benefit them economically  (news.yahoo.com)	(117)
		Al Gore: The heavy snowfall in the Northeast actually proves global warming. In related news, every incident of extreme weather proves global warming, so shut it  (nypost.com)	(141)
		Polar bears turn out to be a bad mascot for global warming alarmism as they've already battled global warming once and made it their biatch  (dailymail.co.uk)	(87)

		7-month old girl survives brush with death from parents' suicidal pact. Tag is for the parents, who did this out of fear of (wait for it... ): Global warming  (foxnews.com)	(415)
(Mlive.com)		Actual headline: Man arrested after shooting up hotel room in Albion, putting alarm clock in microwave and leaving note saying 'God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion'  (mlive.com)	(68)

The reason people are skeptical of global warming is because there is too much evidence  (alternet.org)

(751)

(Old Jarhead)		A U.S. Marine General's take on a nuclear armed Iran  (tartanmarine.blogspot.com)	(94)
		Strawberry Alarm Clock founding member Lee Freeman hits the permanent snooze button  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(16)
		Women's roller derby not silly enough for you? Try a ladies' arm wrestling league  (washingtonpost.com)	(42)
(Foolocracy)		The South Dakota Legislature wants the science from both sides of the global warming debate taught in the schools...next class: how astrology and cosmology explain global warming  (foolocracy.com)	(276)
		Why FarmVille is kicking ass in the virtual gaming second life world  (news.cnet.com)	(55)
		Army Air Force officer who replied "Don't worry about it" to radar reports of blips around Pearl Harbor dead at 96  (washingtonpost.com)	(118)

(Alertnet)		Scientist believe more science ($$$) is needed to determine why previous scientific evidence was wrong about the settled science of Global Warming. Science  (alertnet.org)	(310)
		Afghan army to Taliban: "Yo mama's so fat, she generates her own gravity"...Taliban to Afghan army: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries"  (abcnews.go.com)	(150)

		Did you clean out your inbox today? Pat yourself on the back and get a real nerd merit badge  (techland.com)	(52)
		"Ontario Farmers Embrace Water Buffalo." New Zealand shepherds also thank them for taking off the pressure for a while  (thestar.com)	(37)

		How do you get 45 schoolkids into a twisted, yelling pile of arms and legs in three seconds?  (liveleak.com)	(24)
		Snowman tea party in Michigan protests corncob pipe & carrot tax. Protestors add "you can take my broom from my warm, dead hand."  (freep.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Old and busted: Mass extinctions caused by asteroids. New global warminess: Mass extinctions caused by global warming  (dailygalaxy.com)	(144)
(Some Guy)		The state of Texas is trying to build a clone army by submitting newborn blood samples to the Armed Forces' "Forensic Database"  (news.sciencemag.org)	(94)

"The very idea that a political party dominated by neocons, warmongers, surveillance fetishists, and privacy-hating social conservatives will be a party of "limited government" is absurd on its face"  (salon.com)

(314)

		Running badly behind schedule and under international pressure to honor treaty obligations and complete the destruction of the US chemical weapons arsenal; the Army wants to pull out its universal plan B: "Just blow 'em up"  (news.yahoo.com)	(105)
		The maker of such fast and furious games as FarmVille thinks gamers are too impatient. Ummm, yea, that's it  (wired.com)	(51)

		Pros and cons of a robot army -- Pros: It's a ROBOT ARMY. Cons: It's a ROBOT ARMY  (csmonitor.com)	(160)
		New just-published study reveals key contributor to atmospheric warming. Scientists: It's cars  (physorg.com)	(59)
(Some Guy)		Thanks to all the melting sea ice, we may finally get a long-awaited fiber optic cable stretching from East Asia to Western Europe. Take that, climate change alarmists  (montrealgazette.com)	(34)

		Florida farm workers get a raise of a penny per pound of tomatoes picked. In related news, you're sulking in your nice warm cubicle because someone snagged the last donut  (google.com)	(26)
		Thomas Friedman, professional smart person, says this whole argument over global warming would be solved with the publication of "a simple 50-page paper with unimpeachable peer-reviewed footnotes"  (nytimes.com)	(100)

		Iowa pharmacy board gives unanimous thumbs up to medical marijuana  (desmoinesregister.com)	(127)
		Class warfare through tax policy may make progressives feel warm and cozy inside, but it hurts state economies: New Jersey lost $70 billion in wealth as the rich fled high income tax rates  (nj.com)	(587)

		The first pictures from the set of "Twilight: Eclipse" are going to lead to some heavy petting tonight for the Twihards  (cinematical.com)	(122)
		Neighbors, armchair psychiatrists have field day with Alabama university shooter. "I believe men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but some women are from Mars"  (abcnews.go.com)	(56)
(Some Guy)		If you're on death row in Kentucky, don't worry if the executioner can't find the veins in your arm. They'll just use the veins in your neck instead  (courier-journal.com)	(201)
		Sebastian Bach is being hailed as a hero after he and Mickey Rourke disarmed a man coming after Axl Rose with a knife at what could only be called THE GREATEST CONCERT EVER  (contactmusic.com)	(48)

		Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational moon of Saturn  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(40)
		'Good' cholesterol can cause heart disease, 'bad' cholesterol can be harmless, and eggs -- ah, screw all of this, I'm taking up smoking  (msnbc.msn.com)	(112)

		Megan Fox poses for Emporio Armani underwear advert. Subby gives two thumbs up  (dailymail.co.uk)	(76)
		Restaurant that serves Parmesan marshmallows and lambs brains is about to close. Shocking  (telegraph.co.uk)	(43)

		Minor sea level statistic invalidates global warming  (guardian.co.uk)	(71)
		A tribute to the best Sci-Fi villain ever, with music by Louis Armstrong if his name were Thurl Ravenscroft  (youtube.com)	(50)
		Morrissey is "warm and funny." Unlikely tag asplodes  (contactmusic.com)	(20)

		Farmer upset by thefts of potatoes from his fields plant new crop of (a) carrots (b) cabbages or (c) landmines  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(71)
		Blizzard of Lies: Debunking The Warm-Air-Holds-More-Moisture Defense  (newsbusters.org)	(285)
		Snow could be on the ground in all 50 states, Hawaii included, at the same time. Where's your global warming now?  (usatoday.com)	(485)

		Jobs bill is picking up bipartisan support in the Senate. You're probably thinking that's because there's something unrelated in there, something harmful, to buy Republicans off. How cynical of you  (abcnews.go.com)	(57)
(WWL)		Video of Super Bowl MVP and kindest, bravest, warmest, most decent person you've ever met in your life Drew Brees on "Ellen," where he reveals his boxers  (wwl.com)	(51)
		Australian farmers should use dynamite to control the rabbit population, according to top scientists at the ACME Institute  (foxnews.com)	(65)

		Noted climate scientist Sean Hannity disproves the global warming hoax: "It's the most severe winter storm in years, which would seem to contradict Al Gore's hysterical global warming theories."  (politico.com)	(596)
		Everybody's been so concerned about the writing on Palin's hand that they missed the stupid about 3 inches further down her arm  (dailykos.com)	(265)
(citypages)		Minneapolis airport officials on lookout for man armed with a small stuffed leopard  (blogs.citypages.com)	(30)
		How global warming makes blizzards worse. Wait, what?  (time.com)	(214)
		Australia investigates foil roof insulation that works too well, keeping people warm via electrocution  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(21)
		Iraq War veteran Lt. Dan Choi, who came out to Rachel Maddow, has been reinstated in the United States Army. You are all safer tonight  (cbsnews.com)	(270)
(Some Guy)		Dennis Kucinich urges America to adopt single-payer healthcare, quit stealing his Lucky Charms  (washingtonindependent.com)	(207)

(News on 6)		Armed robbery suspect who continually threatened to kill employees described as 'nicely dressed'  (newson6.com)	(42)
		Afghan army fills leadership ranks with experienced generals. They fought for the other side, but whatever  (online.wsj.com)	(112)
(Some Guy)		Wankered barmcake chibs mate for choring his pushbike as he bought his favourite tipple  (getreading.co.uk)	(86)

		While police work can include long periods of boredom, you probably shouldn't stage an armed robbery at a pharmacy you know to be under surveillance  (news.com.au)	(13)
		For absolutely no reason whatsoever, here's Louis Armstrong playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"  (youtube.com)	(24)

		Democrat shows up at event wearing Army General's uniform with "more medals than George Patton," may end up spending the next 3-5 defending his Privates  (chron.com)	(201)
		You heathen farkers could do with some church music this fine Sunday morning...so have a seat right there (so to speak) and listen to a 14-year-old Aretha Franklin on "While The Blood Runs Warm In My Veins"  (youtube.com)	(17)
		Global warming won't kill us. No, it will probably be volcanoes...the silent killer  (newscientist.com)	(45)
		Vancouver, British Columbia, the one place on the North American continent that actually needs lots of snow this February, is having its warmest winter since 1937 and needs snow trucked in  (abcnews.go.com)	(40)
(the daily beast)		Step aside Tom Tancredo and Sarah Palin. The speaker who threw the most red meat to the crowd at the Teabagger convention was former Alabama Chief Justice and 2010 candidate for Governor Judge Roy Moore who called for armed insurrection  (thedailybeast.com)	(115)
		French President Nicolas Sarkozy has declared the burqa "not welcome" in secular France after two men robbed bank disguised as Muslim women dressed in head to toe traditional religious garb  (abc.net.au)	(483)

		"The global warming movement as we have known it is dead," analyst Walter Russell Mead says . It was done in by a combination of bad science and bad politics. No only does Al Gore have no comment, he's stunned  (theglobeandmail.com)	(342)
		Fully operational steampunk firearms. Yeah, it's as cool as it sounds  (boingboing.net)	(13)
		Struggling screenwriters everywhere about to be pushed over the edge by news that the "Stretch Armstong" movie is about to be made, starring one of those sparkly monster kids  (aintitcool.com)	(21)

		That blanket hold Senator Shelby (R-AL) is using to extort earmarks from the Democrats? It's to benefit a foreign company  (dailykos.com)	(135)
		UN: Global warming has put 55% of the Netherlands underwater. Netherlands: We think we would have noticed that    (breitbart.com)	(269)
		Environmental activists would like makers of household cleaners to tell us exactly what's in them. Cleaner industry says we should simply trust them not to put anything harmful in there, and to enjoy the new lemony-carcinogeny scent    (news.yahoo.com)	(70)
		Global warming has all the elements of a religious faith  (realclearpolitics.com)	(737)

		The guy who compared the marketplace in Iraq to a farmer's market in Indiana? Yeah, he's probably running for President  (liveshots.blogs.foxnews.com)	(17)
		Enjoy your organic melamine: Since fewer than 1 percent of American farms are certified organic, many food companies have to import organic ingredients from China  (online.wsj.com)	(84)

		Reduced snowfall due to global warming causing decrease in wolverine population. WOLVERINES  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(149)
		Colin Powell joins Mike Mullen in favoring repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule, offering much-needed support from the non-Navy sector of the armed forces    (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)	(352)
		One positive impact of global warming, forests are growing faster than ever  (sciencedaily.com)	(107)
		Iran says it's taken the first step toward becoming a space-faring nation, recently sending worms and turtles into space. Sure, they were nuclear-armed worms and turtles, but still  (nytimes.com)	(36)
		Mahmoud Ahmadinejad boasts that terrorists can expect a warm welcome once captured, with no harsh questioning and with the full menu of defendant rights and trial privileges  (washingtontimes.com)	(181)
		Half-naked man armed with a chisel tries to hijack bus. Witnesses said he cut quite a figure  (news.com.au)	(18)

		Graham Nash is 68 today. Get off his lawn unless you can sing harmony  (youtube.com)	(29)
		Obama to cut farm subsidies, threatening one of three remaining bastions of communism in the Western hemisphere, the others being Cuba and the Pennsylvania liquor system    (desmoinesregister.com)	(128)
		Another troubling legacy of the Palin era in Alaska, as sources now reveal the governor gave a no-show job to a marmot  (huffingtonpost.com)	(161)

		In Britain, homeopathy is taken so seriously that the national health service pays for homeopathic "medicines" and there are five homeopathic hospitals. And Brits think Americans are dumb?  (guardian.co.uk)	(191)
(Some Guy)		Second largest swarm of earthquakes ever recorded at Yellowstone...and with December 2012 just around the corner too  (missoulian.com)	(97)
		Crane technique unstoppable at the Farmers Insurance Open. So much for sweeping the leg  (usatoday.com)	(8)

		Finally, we know what can be blamed for global warming: water. NUKE IT FROM ORBIT  (io9.com)	(226)
		Pharmaceutical giant GSK to cut 4,000 jobs, as every medicine except for antidepressants projected to decrease in sales  (business.timesonline.co.uk)	(12)

(Some Darko)		Jake Gyllenhaal is eager to step into the void vacated by Bradley Cooper, John Mayer, and Vince Vaughn. Don't kid yourself; you'd give your right arm for a chance at it too  (digitalspy.com)	(64)
		Painting every roof white could reflect heat, reduce Global Warming, and cause everyone north of the Mason-Dixon line to turn up their thermostats  (news.yahoo.com)	(127)

		Those Global-Warming nutters at NASA have released more information on the Arctic melting cycle. Just because it's real doesn't mean I have to believe it  (earthobservatory.nasa.gov)	(140)
		Attention Chicagoans: today if you see your social security number and checking account balance blow by you in the wind, do not be alarmed  (chicagotribune.com)	(16)
		James O'Keefe's colorful college career: Including video of him protesting that the Lucky Charms leprechaun is a racist stereotype  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(124)
		Do You think global warming is real and immediate action is needed to save the planet? Congratulations you tree-hugging traitor, you are on Osama bin Laden's side now  (news.yahoo.com)	(198)
		Behold the power of this fully armed and operational megajoule laser system  (gizmodo.com)	(78)

(Florida Today)		University of Florida has created a shark bite severity scale, ranging from "Just a flesh wound" up to "You stupid bastard, you've got no arms left"  (floridatoday.com)	(75)
		News: Man attempts gas station robbery. Fark: With a fork  (wpxi.com)	(72)
		Having solved the budget crisis and allowing beer to be sold in supermarkets, the PA legislature wants to be the first state with a 'State Firearm'  (pennlive.com)	(89)

		Musclehead goes batshiat crazy after setting off gym's 'Grunt Alarm,' then being confronted by gym staff  (liveleak.com)	(105)
		Passaic County SWAT team gets a $400,000 armored vehicle. It's airtight, with a 10-hour air supply, making it especially useful for driving down the NJ Turnpike  (nj.com)	(102)
		EPA: Anti-smog restrictions will increase Global Warming  (npr.org)	(51)
		Obama will cancel NASA's moon program and make the agency study global warming instead "We certainly don't need to go back to the moon," said one administration official, who sucks  (orlandosentinel.com)	(541)
		The honeybee colony collapse armageddon may have to be delayed  (abcnews.go.com)	(19)
		London police detain children's TV show presenters under anti-terrorism laws. Because terrorists dress in techincolor armor & wield hairdryers covered in glitter. OK, maybe the gay ones  (upi.com)	(21)

(Some Guy)		Most jobs you get in trouble for spending your time on Facebook, but apparently Congressional Republicans are avid Farmville players  (politifact.com)	(85)
		Consensus was that the hole in the ozone threatened the globe. Turns out the consensus is wrong: It's actually helping to slow global warming in the hemisphere where everybody stands upside-down  (news.scotsman.com)	(119)
		Two crocodiles, named Paleo and Suchus, have been taught to listen for their names being called. This could come in handy; for instance: "Please let go of my leg, Paleo" or "No, no, Suchus, you're mangling my arm"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(32)

		Armed gunmen steal 150 ferrets. The cops otter catch those weasels  (abcnews.go.com)	(71)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this armadillo lizard  (i72.photobucket.com)	(32)

Radical hippie state legislator proposes decriminalizing marijuana possession in Virginia. Actually, he's a 79-year old Republican and a pharmacist who may know what he's talking about  (washingtonpost.com)

(255)

		Harvard Medical School: "You can't work for us and take money from the pharmaceutical companies". Doctor: "I quit"  (boston.com)	(322)
		Naked woman withdrawn from bank in Farmington after collecting crazy interest    (twincities.com)	(34)
		Dairy farmer shoots and kills 51 of his cows, then turns rifle on himself. No need to cry  (news.yahoo.com)	(132)

(Open Secrets)		Want to know why Democrats are so up in arms about yesterdays SCOTUS decision? Maybe it's because it might take away their advantage in fundraising  (opensecrets.org)	(426)
		More US troops withdrawn due to joint and muscle pain than combat injury; army no longer gellin' like McClellan  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(132)
		Doe, a deer, albino deer  (dailymail.co.uk)	(42)

		The first photographs of snowflakes, taken by a farmer in 1885 when he rigged up a microscope with a bellows camera, are up or sale  (myfoxdc.com)	(60)
		Body armor of the future may be based on the shells of deep sea snails. With pic of what a giant armored snail being attacked by a guy in chainmail wielding a lance may look like  (sciencedaily.com)	(64)

(ICYDK)		Lindsay Lohan blames surgery for the cuts on her arm. Really? Who was her doctor? Michael J. Fox?  (icydk.com)	(48)
(azfamily.com)		Could somebody please explain to me how this global warming is supposed to work again because there's currently a blizzard watch for southern Arizona  (azfamily.com)	(534)

Clearly, Tony Stark is a major alcoholic, because there's no other explanation for the sheer number of ridiculous Iron Man armors he's had over the years  (io9.com)

(99)

(Topless Robot)		16 awesome fictional firearms: You can have your blasters, phasers and sonic shotguns, but none holds a candle against a good ol' fashioned ACME disintegrator gun  (toplessrobot.com)	(539)
		Field trip to bucolic country farm is ruined when the children are attacked by a rabid calf  (baltimoresun.com)	(42)
		Scientist have tied light in knots. Still no cure for cancer  (physorg.com)	(30)

6 bizarre Global Warming side effects. Even if you deniers disbelieve Global Warming, are you really willing to risk disrupting our beer supply?  (cracked.com)

(85)

		Not News: Sex offender gets 5 years for probation violation. FARK: according to the comments and some of the rest of the internet, he posted some heartwarming YouTube videos, and should be free based on their merit  (wftv.com)	(204)
		Phil Jackson suggests that a big reason the Clippers suck is due to bad karma from Clips' owner Donald Sterling's history of being a scumbag  (nba.fanhouse.com)	(44)

(disinfo.com)

In the latest of stupid things to say about Haiti, Danny Glover blames it on our failure to combat global warming  (disinfo.com)

(57)

		Did you hear the one about the day the weather got so cold, the turtles crawled out of the ocean to go home and warm up?  (caller.com)	(57)
		When your alarm expert cannot deactivate an alarm, your lookout can't look, and your getaway driver falls asleep it'll flip ya, flip ya for real  (chron.com)	(50)

		Study claims watching TV increases your risk of heart disease by 18 percent. If you're watching a reality TV show about global warming in Yemen while eating potato chips, you've already been dead for three years  (timesonline.co.uk)	(37)
		Will Brit Hume try to woo Gilbert Arenas from the wickedry of Wizardry into the arms of His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Oops... too late  (content.usatoday.com)	(23)

		Belief in global warming drops from 71% to just 57% in a year. Something about record cold winters and mild summers the past two years may have something to do with it  (news.yahoo.com)	(901)
		"James Cameron, who once said that Titanic was about F-you money, now has S my D money, lick my Bs money, come on your Ts money, take a steaming S in your C money, and money-that-he-lights-on-fire- to-keep-his-other-money-warm money."  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(108)

		Man plans to save President Obama from armed revolution by Mormon extremists, if they just let him out of jail  (mercurynews.com)	(69)
		Louis Armstrong and Johnny Cash - Blue Yodel No. 9  (youtube.com)	(13)
(Some Guy)		As one of the worst winters in 100 years grips the country, climate experts are still trying to claim the world is growing warmer  (dailyexpress.co.uk)	(671)

Ad for gym has some up in arms. "When the aliens come, they will eat the fatties first."  (dailymail.co.uk)

(206)

		Star Wars: Could a third trilogy be the charm?  (movies.ign.com)	(191)
		Old McDonald bought the farm, E-I-E-I-O  (startribune.com)	(124)
		French Armored bank van has a Ronin with robbers packing serious Heat. The Score was several million euros. No word if authorities are pursuing The Usual Suspects or an Inside Man  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(51)
		The CIA is now working with "scientists" on Global Warming  (nytimes.com)	(275)
		Starbucks customers are satisfied with 97% pesticide-laden coffee, to the dismay of Latin Americans who literally bet the farm on the organic craze  (csmonitor.com)	(74)

(Some Guy)		Global warming is blasting the US with colder than normal weather  (accuweather.com)	(218)
		How is the rest of the world is coping with this Global Warming™? With pic of what Global Warming™ might look like  (dailymail.co.uk)	(581)

		Vultures facing extinction from A: Global warming B: Habitat encroachment or C: Gamblers smoking joints made from their brains, in order to see into the future  (guardian.co.uk)	(88)
(Some Guy)		The five biggest tall tales you'll hear from climate change deniers. "We all know journalists hate America. Rather than report the truth, they act as PR agents for the global warming crowd."  (mnn.com)	(303)

Obama administration's $75 billion program to protect homeowners from foreclosure has done more harm than good, says noted Conservative rag  (nytimes.com)

(48)

(Some Cajun Stoner)		Dangerous pot grower apprehended in Bastrop, LA. With pic of what a marijuana farm may look like  (bastropenterprise.com)	(197)
		Joe, she's just a little girl. She can light fires, yes. But you're making her sound like Armageddon  (abcnews.go.com)	(87)
(InForum)		Beer can alarm tips off police of nude geriatric fight  (inforum.com)	(26)

		A bipartisan group of US Senators work throughout the night to come to a compromise on important legislation. Is it: A) Health care reform, B) Airline security and safety, or C) Awarding themselves farm subsidy money?  (dailykos.com)	(56)
		Orly Taitz thinks "it might be a good time to start rallies and protests using our second amendment right to bare arms" against our "Kenyan, Indonesian communist usurper" President. Yeah, good luck with all that  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(246)

(Some Guy)

As far as sequels go, "Flattened Otter's Tire Tread Christmas" is less than heartwarming  (search.mtdemocrat.com)

(67)

Mississippi mom is first woman to officiate a bowl game. Hotness has been challenged, though her status as a pharmaceutical rep merits further review  (usatoday.com)

(136)

Turtle farts raise an alarming stink  (telegraph.co.uk)

(59)

(Some Guy)		So, you say you've been organizing trips to Antarctica to save it from global warming?  (expressindia.com)	(45)
		Investigation underway whether Washington Wizards Gilbert Arenas stored firearms in his locker against league rules. That's NBA rules, not NRA  (sports.espn.go.com)	(13)

		Man stole so many jars of Marmite that shops began keeping it behind the counter like it was some sort of barf-inducing form of pseudoephedrin banned from 150 stores  (telegraph.co.uk)	(54)
		Sen. Jim DeMint to seek a vote on an amendment to prohibit the practice of trading votes for earmarks in the United States Senate  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(135)

(Some Guy)		Local food isn't always better, the rainforest is a man-made creation, large farms are good for the enviroment, and other eco-myths debunked  (mnn.com)	(296)
		Customizable stuffed animal franchise "Build-A-Bear" is a worldwide communist front organization run by Carbonhagen environazis for the purpose of brainwashing your children into believing the Global Warming scam  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(157)
		Cold weather, no doubt caused by global warming, kills 90 in Europe. Severe snowstorms cause havoc in U.S Midwest. Canadians buy extra socks  (cbc.ca)	(335)
		The spice....the spice  (video.yahoo.com)	(51)

(Some Guy)		Someone stole John Lennon's Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Instant karma's gonna get 'em  (spinner.com)	(38)
		Rep. Bachmann (R-Lunatic), a fervent anti-socialist, refuses to accept federal farm subsidies she's entitled to. Just kidding. Her family farm received over $250,000 in subsidies between '95 and '06  (politico.com)	(132)
(Some Guy)		"I can stop global warming. All I need is a really long hose and $250 million worth of farts"  (associatedcontent.com)	(78)
		Quinn to courageously ride the bench for the remainder of the season. Which is pretty accurate, since it does take courage to watch a Browns game  (cleveland.com)	(32)
		Police disarm suspected suicide bomber with two eggs over easy and a side of hash browns  (telegraph.co.uk)	(52)
		Poll conducted on what Americans want for Christmas is pretty ordinary: pair of boots, warm coat, submachine gun, supersonic jet. You know, the usual  (abcnews.go.com)	(230)
		I looked, and there before me was a pale horse. Its rider was named "Marmaduke", and Hollywood was following close behind him  (examiner.com)	(62)

		According to scientific analysis of millions of years of data, Earth is doomed to see its sixth epic mass extinction thanks to habitat destruction, pollution and global warming  (sfgate.com)	(189)
		Mexican army finds 3 tons of marijuana in truck. After confiscating the 2 tons of marijuana, local police need several vans to haul all 800 pounds of it; say the 50 pounds placed in evidence is worth almost 50,000 pizzas. I mean, dollars  (elpasotimes.com)	(102)
(Some Guy)		Today's Fark-ready headline - Defiant pig farmer tells state to "bring their army"  (clarecountyreview.com)	(68)
		British Army gets first new camouflage in more than 60 years, with uniforms combining Desert Tan with British Dental Green to provide maximum concealment in a variety of terrain (pics)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(77)
		What has 9 arms, sucks and makes cartoons?  (msnbc.msn.com)	(62)

		Should you ever find yourself likely to have to make a swift getaway from a farm, it helps to know the location of the slurry pit in advance  (telegraph.co.uk)	(54)
		Seven banks collapse this week, bringing the total to 140 for the year. Just one more week to pick your end of the year tally  (latimes.com)	(39)

		Obama leaves global warming conference in a rush so he can get back to Washington before it gets hit by one of the biggest blizzards ever  (forbes.com)	(231)
(Some Guy)		Unknown number of hogs become instabacon in farm fire. Accidental BBQ trifecta complete  (witn.com)	(37)
		150 battle blaze at chicken farm. Fowl play suspected  (courant.com)	(45)
		Man waiting for teller in a bank decides to text his girlfriend that there's a man with a gun inside. Swarms of responding police officers think that joke is jailarious  (cbs2chicago.com)	(116)

		Skeptics skeptical about skeptics skeptical about global warming skepticism  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(97)
		After sticking A Fistful of Metal in his arm trying to attain A State of Euphoria, Scotsman is no longer Among the Living after shooting up with anthrax-laced heroin. \m/  (newsvote.bbc.co.uk)	(127)

Puget Sound residents should be preparing for "megathrust tremor swarms"...giggity  (sciencedaily.com)

(62)

		NJ pharmacist charged with stealing 3,670 Valium. Asked to comment, he said, "Mmmrrrphhlll" and lolled his head around  (nj.com)	(49)
		Armond White's Avatar review reaches a level of trolling Farkers could only dream about  (nypress.com)	(166)
(WattsUpWithThat)		U.S. Department of Energy sends out "litigation hold notice" requiring employees to preserve all documents related to global warming research  (wattsupwiththat.com)	(170)

		Yet another link that will end all debate on climate issues: Scientists conclude sunspots have nothing to do with global warming  (independent.co.uk)	(400)
		Many species are threatened by global warming...including the "barely able to keep Darwin at bay" Koala, unfunny clownfish, and the Emperor Penguin...which is being downgraded to a Prince Penguin  (news.yahoo.com)	(73)
		The official Bishop for the British armed forces would just like to apologise for expressing his admiration for the Taliban  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(48)

December is the darkest month of the year, but it isn't the coldest. Here's why, and not because Warmers faked the historical data on that too  (slate.com)

(90)

(Some Guy)		Teen gang thugs attack and and attempt to disarm police officer, get nine months. Nine months pregnant woman to the rescue, that is (with glorious video)  (krgv.com)	(189)
		Actual Headline: Christmas tree farmer expects pre-holiday rush. Quick, to the Romerocopter  (cbc.ca)	(39)
		Only one game for today's college football discussion thread, but what a game it is. Cheer on the mighty Black Knights as they knock off Navy and go to their first bowl game since 1996. Go Army, beat Navy  (rivals.yahoo.com)	(188)
(Some Guy)		"Mittens are adorable. They are warm and fuzzy. To wear them is to be transported to a childhood of snowball fights and hot chocolate. If they were any more Canadian, they'd speak politely and smell like maple syrup"  (vancouversun.com)	(50)
		Rep. Lungren (R-ocky IV) attaches $930,000 earmark to bill - but still votes against it. It's either genius or insanity  (dailykos.com)	(138)

		The coolest picture of snowfall blanketing the US you will see today or until the global warming induced ice age  (rapidfire.sci.gsfc.nasa.gov)	(88)
(Some Guy)		Ric Romero called US "warm hearted." What the hell???  (facebook.com)	(226)

(South Bend Tribune)

Adopted deer wearing orange "a likely victim of firearms season". In other news, Michigan hunts firearms  (southbendtribune.com)

(45)

Kids fleeing gunshots run into pub for cover. Pausing only to gather up his massive, clanking steel balls, pub owner ambles out to check if his wife is OK, casually disarms crazed gunman, holds him for the cops (with video goodness)  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(171)

		Testosterone doesn't cause aggression, and if you don't stop saying it does, I'll rip your goddamned smarmy head off and shiat down your neck  (physorg.com)	(39)
		An armed man speaking in tongues who says he was trying to protect his mother from vampires has one question for police: "How long does PCP stay in your system?"  (blogs.kansascity.com)	(49)
		Scientists say 2009 will be the fifth-warmest year ever recorded and before you ask, no you can't see the thermometer and they accidentally threw out the envelope they used to write down all the data  (iol.co.za)	(973)

		U.S. Air Force ends ban on recruits with tattoos on their saluting arms, admitting yeah, they'll pretty much take whatever they can get these days  (guardian.co.uk)	(374)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this armor  (theartblog.org)	(42)
		"The charms of the lumpy, sodden mass that is poutine have always escaped me. And really, in a nation plagued by obesity problems, do Canadians need a whole restaurant dedicated this now ubiquitous food category?"  (torontosun.com)	(158)
		Winemakers say global warming is changing the flavor of grapes and fear that in coming years, all wine might become as insipid as an Oregon red  (timesonline.co.uk)	(52)

		"Some Australians are up in arms over a new kangaroo and emu-flavored chip, horrified that people are encouraged to eat the nation's coat of arms which depicts the iconic Australian animals"  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(60)
(Washington Examiner)		Another global warming scam? SAY IT AIN'T SO 111ONE11ELEVENTY111  (washingtonexaminer.com)	(369)
		"The carbon footprint of the global warming summit will be the only impressive consequence of the climate-change meeting"  (washingtonpost.com)	(91)
		Contrary to what the fearmongering Obamabots would have you believe, the president hasn't received more threats than his predecessors  (weeklystandard.com)	(85)

		Whether you believe in global warming or not there will definitely be some bed warming in Copenhagen as prostitutes offer free sex to global-warming delegates  (nydailynews.com)	(49)
		Scientist: [Why global warming is real and hack makes no diff.] Commenters: [ZOMG NWO CRU WHARGARBL] Scientist: [Shut the fark up and let scientists do their science.]  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(173)
		Carmelo Anthony on his mad dash to the locker room: "I got Kaopectate in my hand. You guys do the math."  (espn.go.com)	(68)
		The army is going too have jetpacks... JETPACKS  (wired.com)	(101)
		Humans are "losing the battle against global warming," and it will kill you and everyone you hold dear, begins a calm, reasoned AP article  (news.yahoo.com)	(122)
		Canadians top users of social media, so you know who to blame for the popularity of FarmVille  (calgaryherald.com)	(26)
(Some Guy)		"Man airlifted to hospital after arm caught in bakery mixer." D'ough  (thisissouthdevon.co.uk)	(58)

(Some Guy)		Anti-wind NIMBYs suffer hit as new Department of Energy study finds wind farms have no impact on property values  (ecopolitology.org)	(185)
		Climate scientist calls for "glasnost" to bring global warming research from political science to, well, science science  (insiderinterviews.nationaljournal.com)	(323)
		Bar owner equipped with a Stool of Defense (+6) successfully repels two Bandits armed with a Chaos Tomahawk (+4)  (news.com.au)	(49)
(PhillyBurbs)		Unarmed, naked man stands in his yard, threatens to kill cops with his extreme naked-fu  (phillyburbs.com)	(24)
		If Tiger Woods divorce happens, it won't top Paul McCartney's. But then again, Elin doesn't need an arm and a leg  (wcbstv.com)	(38)

		For the past eight years, blue whales have the hell been singing in lower and lower notes, baffling scientists. Global warming? Ambient Noise? Recovered whale numbers? LDS?  (wired.com)	(124)
(Some Guy)		Distillers told they can no longer run ads claiming that 'alcohol increases attractiveness.' You would have submitted this with a better headline early Sunday morning, but you were trying to chew your arm off at the time  (viewlondon.co.uk)	(22)

		Armed-sea-creature gap between US and Russia widens as scientists design robotic clams to detonate underwater mines  (livescience.com)	(34)
(Some Santa)		Jingle Bells, gifting's swell, spread some Christmas cheer / Buy a gift for a foster kid and feel warm & fuzzy all year (Link goes to wishlist)  (amazon.com)	(135)
		It's a rich, petroleum-exporting country that rudely and arrogantly stands in the way of stopping global warming, and the world should sanction it. Iran? Venezuela? No, Canada  (guardian.co.uk)	(121)
(Some Guy)		"Russia has fallen behind the United States in the race to arm sea mammals"  (jacarandafm.com)	(56)
(WBZ TV)		1996: Man accidentally runs down little old lady crossing the street. 2009: While crossing the street, man is run down by speeding karma  (wbztv.com)	(43)
		Source code for global warming modeling was tweaked to skew results. Who would've thought?  (americanthinker.com)	(959)
		IPCC chair flew 443,243 miles less than two years to speak against global warming. Someone needs to tell this guy about fiber optics  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(211)
		Time again for gold coins to start showing up mysteriously in Salvation Army kettles. Yup, there's the first one  (abcnews.go.com)	(112)

		Global warming fraudsters conspire to create the first snow-free November in Toronto in over 160 years  (thestar.com)	(135)
		IPCC's new plan for saving us all from Global Warming floods: Build a huge Stone Wall. Yep thats the plan, plenty of stonewalling  (guardian.co.uk)	(448)

		Scientists admit that they dump...that the dog ate much of the raw temperature data on which their predictions of global warming are based  (timesonline.co.uk)	(382)
		People are tired of bailouts, big spending, unchecked corruption, and being told their values are politically incorrect. "Even with the best of intentions, government almost always does more harm than good."  (realclearpolitics.com)	(340)
		Man steals kettle from Salvation Army bellringer. Subby would have prefered he just took the bell  (toledoblade.com)	(60)
		Canadian army commissions new uniforms so they can better fight in Canadian cities, although some don't see the point: "I have some trouble conceptualizing what a land war fought in Vancouver would be like. Relaxed, I guess"  (theglobeandmail.com)	(102)
		Reasearch scientists warming to African rats that never seem to get cancer, are acid resistant, and live ten times as long as most common 'Old World' rats. Still no cure for the icky-ick-ick ooo-ooo-oos  (chron.com)	(40)

Can you be blamed for sleepwalking crimes? It's not news, it's fearmongeri...er...ABC News  (abcnews.go.com)

(41)

When running a pot farm out of your home, you should resist the urge to call the cops if someone breaks in to steal your money and weed  (wcco.com)

(34)

		Timelapse of swarming monster worms and sea stars  (youtube.com)	(18)
		"The Bulgarian National Space Research Institute has stated that not only are alien spies living among us, but that they object strongly to 'immoral behaviour' by humanity - such as causing global warming or using cosmetics"  (theregister.co.uk)	(66)
(Cosmos)		Solar activity isn't a significant cause of global warming, we have thousands of years of tree-ring data to prove it. Oh wait  (cosmosmagazine.com)	(354)
		Ocho Cinco Condoms coming soon to a pharmacy near you. No word on whether they will make one big enough to cover Ocho Cinco, the NFL's biggest dick  (nydailynews.com)	(41)
(Dawn)		How a prank caller drove two nuclear-armed nations to the brink of war, made them check to see if their refrigerators were running  (dawn.com)	(30)

Hannity: This is one of the coldest years on record, so global warming is a hoax. Science: This is one of the warmest years on record, so Hannity is a douche  (feeds.mediamatters.org)

(1254)

		"She's made more bombs than the Krupp Arms Works and yet Hollywood keeps giving her the keys to its kingdom." Defamer tries to figure out why Sandra Bullock is still a star  (defamer.gawker.com)	(84)
(Some Guy)		How scientists are building better wind turbines by studying Lance Armstrong. Apparently, windmills are also a lot more efficient when they use just one nut  (sciencenow.sciencemag.org)	(15)
		"Smart" body armor learns more with every bullet - Ok, who wants to be first in a test series?  (news.discovery.com)	(52)
		In an event that happened only once in the prior century, but twice in the last five years, hundreds of icebergs have broken off from Antarctica and are heading for New Zealand shipping lanes. Proving once again that global warming is a myth  (news.yahoo.com)	(494)
		For sale: Charming 3bd 2 bath rancher, with contemporary kitchen, walk-in closets and basement full of hundreds of human remains from disturbed Indian graveyard. Vengeful spirits convey with property  (news.yahoo.com)	(148)
(Some Guy)		The 10 Awesomest Sweaters on the Internets  (yuppiepunk.org)	(41)

		Musicians on the road: the insanity, the groupies, the parmesan-crusted duck breast with balsamic reduction (Sponsored link)  (ifc.com)	(30)
		China angrily warns the US that publicly talking about China's attempts to steal US military and industrial secrets could harm US-China relations  (news.yahoo.com)	(125)

Brits up in arms over proposal to have their national health system provide counseling to couples whose marriages are on the rocks. Not like there's any link between relationship stability and health, after all  (mailonsunday.co.uk)

(50)

(What Does It Mean?)		Remember the FAA blunder that wreaked havoc nationwide? Yeah, about that. Apparently the USAF shot down a 1 kiloton nuclear armed cruise missile targeting the Denver International Airport. Bonus: There's a 9/11 connection. Sleep tight  (whatdoesitmean.com)	(168)
		The funniest/weirdest video of Tiny Tim predicting global warming you'll see until December 21, 2012. Bonus: scarring kids for life included  (youtube.com)	(21)
(Intelligencer)		General Washington and Continental Army worry that park closure may disrupt secret plan to cross Delaware, surprise Hessians at Trenton  (phillyburbs.com)	(26)

		Photoshop this diver  (photography.nationalgeographic.com)	(70)
		If you have hacked your way into the world's most prestigious global warming center and downloaded documents indicating the whole thing is a hoax, quite a few people would like a word with you  (michellemalkin.com)	(904)
(Some Guy)		Man hhhhhholds up bank armed only with his hhhhhhalitosis  (pasadenastarnews.com)	(30)
		Problem: Army worried that Sarah Palin book signing event at Ft. Bragg will turn into an anti-Obama event. Solution: Ban the media from attending  (dailykos.com)	(272)

		"In Amazon, a frustrated search for cancer cures." They should try Borders or Barnes & Noble, then  (news.yahoo.com)	(28)
		There are two stories here - the world's worst hippy mother and the fact that in India you can be charged with "assault with intent to outrage a woman's modesty and administering a stupefying drug with intent to harm"  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(50)
(WWL)		Federal judge rules Army Corps of Engineers responsible, and liable, for much of the post-Katrina flooding in New Orleans  (wwl.com)	(338)