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338 headlines found matching 'ants'
Fri April 24, 2015
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Miami Heat center Chris Andersen looks like a used coloring book with all of his tattoos, well check out his head tattoo since he wants war
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
...and today's college that accidentally accepted rejected applicants is....(spins wheel)....Drexel University
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Lawmakers want voters to decide if the $58 million collected in pot taxes should go to schools and training cops, or buying every taxpayer in the state a $5 footlong. Subby wants the footlong, and chips, and a soda; so hungry right now
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
School sends a sixth grader to an alternative school for 30 days for jokingly pulling down his buddy's pants. Fark: The victim got the same punishment
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Thu April 23, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
65-year-old MacGyver cuts the mullet, hits Malibu supermarket in sweatpants on mission to jury-rig a meal
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Jockey loses his pants during a race. If only he'd been wearing some kind of shorts (mildly not safe for work)
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(Softpedia)
 
 
 
EA wants better stories in its sports games, including FIFA and Madden. Because THAT'S why EA games suck - the historical lack of a compelling, likeable narrator and romantic subplots that have always felt forced and tacked-on
source: news.softpedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 


Wed April 22, 2015
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Clint Eastwood pretty much wants Michael Moore dead
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly wants Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to recuse themselves from the Supreme Court's upcoming gay marriage case. You can't explain that
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
J.J. Watt just wants to remind us all just how cool he is
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
NASA launches 'unprecedented' search for alien life - and it wants your help
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Want to eat in one of the 44 best restaurants in America? Bring cash. Lots of it
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 


Tue April 21, 2015
(NPR)
 
 
 
NY court grants human rights to every ape it sees, from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Recap: Kansas slashed taxes for the rich to stimulate economic growth. It didn't work and led to a major budget shortfall. Now the state wants the poor to pay for that budget shortfall. The Aristocats
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Scott Walker: We don't need no stinkin' immigrants. Did our forefathers need immigrants? Did America? No, I say, no. We never needed immigrants. Americans are born in America, dammit
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Mon April 20, 2015
(WGEM Quincy)
 
 
 
No-tip policy becoming more popular with restaurants, Bobbitts
source: wgem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Sat April 18, 2015
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Tenants of a Somerville, New Jersey rooming house are shocked to find that the stench they had been smelling for weeks was in fact a dead body and not just how New Jersey usually smells
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man gets worldwide attention after growing 33-pound vegetable, says he now comes home beet, just wants to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Fri April 17, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Well, it's official: Welfare recipients in Brownbackistan can no longer go swimming. *wipes hands on pants* See, *that's* how you solve poverty, people
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(535)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Dog flu outbreak discovered in Chicago is now spreading throughout the Midwest. Your dog wants Tamiflu
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Thu April 16, 2015
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Cyanogen wants to make an Android free from the clutches of Google. So they're using Microsoft apps
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
10% of S&P 500 companies avoid paying U.S. taxes. The other 90% have even better accountants who get the government to issue a refund check
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Digital Spy UK)
 
 
 
Ed Sheeran wants to be on Game of Thrones: 'I'm going to hound the producers for a part'
source: digitalspy.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your dog wants steak, but he'll settle for just about anything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Elizabeth Warren wants to alter the role of Wall Street in American life and she doesn't need the kids in Congress to approve it
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Q: How many NYC departments does it take to build a bus bulb? A: We're working on hiring consultants for the preliminary studies of the bidding process for phase one of the initial tentative proposed exploratory site preparation preparation
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Wed April 15, 2015
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"Gov. Walker also wants significant entitlement reforms" Can you really call "gutting it and burning it down with the government" a reform though?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Afraid of heights? As you will discover from watching this free-diver plunging into one of the world's deepest blue holes, you can be pants-shiattingly terrified of heights underwater too (pics etc)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
In 1982 in Phoenix a mentally disturbed man held a gun to a KOOL-TV anchorman forcing him to read a live, on-air statement about immigrants, punk rock and Islam causing World War III. Hey, Fox News may have a job for this guy
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dog biscuits laced with cannabis are being used to treat pet ailments. Your dog wants steak. Steak would be like, just great, man
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Tue April 14, 2015
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Crazy liberal wants to slash CEO's pay by more than 90% and raise company's minimum wage to $70,000. Bonus: This person IS the CEO
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(253)
 


Mon April 13, 2015
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Penis transplant doctor talks about his patient, reveals he had to veto the patient's idea of transplanting four extra penises onto himself so his pants would fit like a glove
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Sun April 12, 2015
(AP)
 
 
 
Who wouldn't want to be part of a group that lights your pants on fire if you don't memorize MC Hammer lyrics?
source: hosted2.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Sat April 11, 2015
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
Lawyer wants bestiality charges reduced to theft of sperm
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Washington state lawmaker wants to build a bridge across Puget Sound made of decommissioned aircraft carriers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
"Randy Cramer (aka Captain Kaye USMC), claims to have spent 17 years on Mars in a highly classified space program protecting five civilian colonies from Martians. According to him, head transplants are not uncommon as a result of battles with aliens"
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Consumer group wants to ban the word "diet" from diet sodas. Next up - "fat free," "all natural," "one serving size"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 


Fri April 10, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Argentina wants to throw Justin Bieber in jail for assault. Subby will raise a glass of malbec to that
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Noted criminal and forensic expert Geraldo wants you to know that the recently released dashcam footage should totally clear the officer in the Walter Scott case
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A life insurance company wants to give you a FitBit and will discount your policy depending on activity levels. I plan on strapping mine to a paint shaker
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Pretty blonde high school senior becomes ill over weekend, dies Tuesday, and doctors have no idea why. Try not to think about what Nancy Grace just did in her pants
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 


Thu April 09, 2015
(NFL)
 
 
 
Colts wants their run of Luck to continue until 2016
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Is that $61,000 worth of heroin in your underpants or are you just happy to see me?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
DEA wants to triple production of marijuana for "research," throw one biatchin' party with Biden
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Wed April 08, 2015
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Harry Reid sacrificed his eye to drink from Mimir's spring in order to gain the Wisdom of Ages, which explains why he no longer wants to be in the U.S. Senate
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are 10 of America's fastest-growing restaurants. Have you eaten at any of them? What is it like? Tell us to the right, please
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Tue April 07, 2015
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Bobby Jindal wants to be president too, and he will TOTALLY pick that Duck Dynasty guy as his running mate
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Russia wants to buy Greece
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Taco Bell wants to start delivering sandwiches to your door, assuming they can figure out that whole delivery thing
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Mon April 06, 2015
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz (R-adical) wants to remove the ability of SCOTUS to hear challenges to Sharia law
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(240)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Indonesian officials to 300 fishermen on a remote island: Okay anyone here who is being held here against their will as a slave and wants to go home, raise your hand...*hands* Sooo, that would be ALL of you then?
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
PewDiePie and all those game commenters? Well, the game industry wants a cut
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Why ants don't have a successful space program, a free-range artisanal toast home cost calculator, and Picard struggling with a new dialect of Tamarian: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/29 - 4/4
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2)
 
(Digital Journal)
 
 
 
70% of people taking antidepressants aren't suffering depression. Although in this economy it will just be a matter of time until they are
source: digitaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 


Sun April 05, 2015
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Forbes wants the California water market to free float, just like with the hugely successful deregulated electricity market in the early 2000s
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 


Sat April 04, 2015
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Even in a charity auction, no one wants Jay Cutler
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Fri April 03, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Clear your desks, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. Might as well take off those pants, too
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
America's only gay gang is in Washington DC, and Steve Buscemi wants to make a movie about them
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Judge rules a court battle over a giant emerald can proceed, no word on if a blue hedgehog still wants his claim on this valuable object
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Thu April 02, 2015
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Zombie dog wants steeeeaaaaak
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Multiple aborted landings and touch-and-go's at Düsseldorf airport at 55KT crosswinds, or how to turn a commercial airliner into a STOL aircraft. On an unrelated news, local retailers record an unprecedented surge in underpants sales
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Grocery chains increasingly irrelevant to finicky millennials. Grocers hope to win their business by adding delivery services, hiring trained chefs and sommeliers, installing full-service restaurants, and "connection and community" events
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 


Wed April 01, 2015
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Your dog may want steak, but your cat wants George Handel
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
Again gangstas, keep your finger OFF the trigger until you get it out of your pants
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Street ants found to survive on junk food diet while ants living in parks eat better but are no fun to hang around with, just like your married friends
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(4)
 


Tue March 31, 2015
(io9)
 
 
 
Low gravity "seriously messes with" an ant's ability to explore space. Which explains why ants don't have a successful space program yet
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Helen Mirren wants to be in Eight Fast Eight Furious. That...could work
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 


Mon March 30, 2015
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The field for the Masters Tournament may have at least 100 entrants in it for the first time since 1966
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Look, if the Internet wants Sherlock to be gay, you can't just let 100 years of character development get in the way of that
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Sun March 29, 2015
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Is that a Banana Bunker in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Over a million lawsuits over credit card debt are filed in Massachusetts each year. If even half of the defendants showed up in court, the system would collapse. That's about to happen
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Antidepressants were found at home of Germanwings co-pilot, which, in light of recent events, didn't really live up to their name very well
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 


Sat March 28, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Create an ad for a product no one wants
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Michael Bay wants the Transformers franchise to be just like Marvel's shared universe, fails to realize his version of Transformers is more akin to Go-Bots
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(OutSports)
 
 
 
Well, the Indiana law isn't good, but it's not like business owners will start throwing gay people out of restaurants like the Civil Rights Era. . .oh
source: outsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(374)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
So, who wants to see Patrick Stewart snort cocaine?
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Fri March 27, 2015
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Roger Daltrey says he wants The Who to stop at the top of their game, has dozens of scientists working a way to send him back in time to 1978
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
South Miami Vice Mayor Walter Harris wants to be America's mohel
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Do you want ants? Because, that's how you get ants
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Go-Go-Gohmert wants a ride in the clown car
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 


Thu March 26, 2015
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Soccer team gets scored on while celebrating their goal. Well, isn't that a kick in the pants
source: screamer.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Wed March 25, 2015
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
John Harbaugh wants Ray Rice back in the NFL as soon as he's beaten all his demons
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Russia wants to make it possible to drive from London to New York, pass by Sarah Palin's house along the way
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Heroic elephants keep tractor-trailer from overturning before returning to their life of being enslaved by psychopathic clowns
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Iggy Azalea says she recently got breast implants, admits that they are quite fancy
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Who wants to go on a sanctioned, legal bear hunt?
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Monday: Jon Stewart rants about the "40 miles as the crow flies" VA Choice rule. Wednesday: VA changes rule to "40 miles by actual distance to get there" Your move, Oliver
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Countable)
 
 
 
Not content with more votes to simply repeal Obamacare, Rep. Tom Price wants to slash all the things
source: countable.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Tue March 24, 2015
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Taking your pants off and trying to bite a police officer after pouring oil on satellite dishes is no way to go through life, sir
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(The Nerds of Color)
 
 
 
Brett Ratner wants to remake "Enter the Dragon," possibly with white actors in the lead roles. You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin Temple
source: thenerdsofcolor.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 


Mon March 23, 2015
(Politico)
 
 
 
Patrick Murphy wants a Cuban sandwich
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Stephen King wants Gov. LePage to "man up and apologize"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 


Sun March 22, 2015
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney fanatic wants to #freethemonorail by sending it to Burning Man so it can "follow its own path"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Pundit wants to eliminate the word "taxpayer" when discussing budgets because of its negative connotations. Subby suggests other more accurate terms, such as "theft victims" or "patsies"
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
After a disappointing European run the EPL starts its final run in. Man City chase Chelsea, lots of teams chase the CL spots and the relegation zone is a dog fight. Now with added disgusting fan chants with Liverpool vs Man Utd on Sun
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(592)
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
The X-Files revival is getting closer to reality, and Chris Carter wants fans to know this isn't a fluke, man
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Sat March 21, 2015
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Handiest pair of pants, ever (not safe for work)
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Los Angeles banned fast food restaurants in 2008, but people are fatter than ever. Clearly we need stronger food bans
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Firefighters "stumble upon" sophisticated, illegal marijuana grow operation, discover 1600 plants in various stages of growth. Police quickly confiscate all 1300 plants, worth $2.3 million (w/amazing pics of the 1000 plant grow op)
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Kildare Nationalist)
 
 
 
50,000 baby lettuce plants just get up and leave
source: kildare-nationalist.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
"Billy Corgan has told an audience in Peru that he no longer wants to be known by the name and that he prefers William"
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happened to Alta Vista, GeoCities, Lycos, Netscape & other giants of Web 1.0?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 


Fri March 20, 2015
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not news: Kid wants mom to write note excusing her from PE. Fark: Mom pwns daughter by telling the teacher that she should run extra laps
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
TSA officer notices man convicted of murder and explosives offenses in PreCheck line but supervisor lets him through because who wants people like that in your work area
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New map created using Google Autocomplete shows the most searched for product or service in each state capital. Lots of sex, drugs and breast implants ...or the price of a gallon of milk if you're in Alaska
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New campaign wants to replace the portrait of Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill with a woman. The campaign would probably be more popular if they tried to replace Alexander Hamilton on the $10. No one remembers who he is
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 


Thu March 19, 2015
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Never mind the half dozen other health code violations, Perkins manager wants you to know their roach infestation was "an isolated incident"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Ryan Gosling's girlfriend discovers the number one cause of divorce in America: sweatpants
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Taking a break from denouncing same-sex marriage, Gov. Jindal wants to ban immigrants who want to limit the freedoms of others based on religion
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The modern parent's dilemma: I want my child to experience unbridled joy in nature, but I also don't want him squishing caterpillars and stepping on delicate plants
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Wed March 18, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Upset at changes to a law that grants some autonomy to their region, Ukrainian separatists threaten to abandon the cease-fire agreement that up until now they have merely been ignoring
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Nevada bill would allow sick pets to use medical marijuana. Your dog wants Funyuns and an Adventure Time marathon
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Jimmy Kimmel reveals he had to have two penis surgeries, wants to warn everyone about the dangers of letting your significant other fark Matt Damon
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Conservative pundits: Seattle restaurants are closing because of the $15 minimum wage hike. Closing restaurants: That's news to us
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Tue March 17, 2015
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scientists discover Cervantes' tomb, hulking giants over yonder
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Former homebuilder becomes a lawmaker and tries to pass a bill protecting current homebuilders from having to obey all those pesky ordinances that protect native plants from homebuilders. Homebuilders
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mayor Muriel Bowser hates the homeless... ness problem that plagues DC, wants to end it in 5 years
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Mon March 16, 2015
(ESPN FC)
 
 
 
As the Barclay's Premier League winds down, the battles for the Champion's League spots and the relegation fight are in full swing. Liverpool wants to overtake Man U, Arsenal is hoping to keep form, and Tottenham hope to score upsets
source: espnfc.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(556)
 


Sat March 14, 2015
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
Freedom isn't free. Especially if you're illegally squatting on an abandoned military base that the government wants to sell
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Give Carl Linnaeus what he wants or he'll break into your house and name slime molds after you
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 


Fri March 13, 2015
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Bruce Campbell wants to make "The Expendables of horror movies." Groovy
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Stellenbosch University)
 
 
 
One of the major problems with penis transplants is finding donors
source: sun.ac.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
How good could the Star Wars XIII and Rogue One films possibly be? And could they ever live up to the originals? The answers are "not very" and "no" of course but it's Friday and no one wants to work so let's debate it here instead
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
NASA wants to build a greener, meaner and leaner passenger aircraft for the future
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Thu March 12, 2015
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
HBO wants more 'Game of Thrones,' calls showrunners' plan to end at 7 seasons 'horrifying'
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Uncle Sam wants you....to be a bomb sniffing elephant in the U.S. army
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
DNC: Welp, that's it. Whether we like it or not, we're stuck with Hillary 2016. Martin O'Malley: Hey guys, what about me? DNC: Yup, absolutely no one wants to step up. *stuffs O'Malley in broom closet*
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 


Wed March 11, 2015
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
In WTF Were They Thinking? News, scientists working feverishly to create demon hellspawn ants have succeeded in doubling their size... so far
source: news.sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
America wants Tina Fey to host The Daily Show. I want to go to there
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 


Tue March 10, 2015
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz's dad wants you to know the nut doesn't fall far from the tree
source: liberalamerica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Governor Rick Scott (R-eprobate) proposes statewide job cuts focusing on the Department of Health and the Department of Environmental Protection. Proudly states that FL employs the fewest public servants per capita in the nation
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Plaxico Burress wants to get into the stock investment game. Wall Street takes bets whether or not he'll shoot himself in the foot
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's always a little embarrassing to be caught with your pants down looking into a tanning salon with your face pressed up against the window and you're panting
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Helicopter carrying contestants of French reality show "Dropped" takes the show's name too seriously
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Mon March 09, 2015
(The New Orleans Advocate)
 
 
 
Send Ancestry.com a DNA sample to learn your family history and potentially make your descendants murder suspects
source: theneworleansadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Medpage Today)
 
 
 
Good news: Your autistic child's asthma is not due your use of SSRI antidepressants during pregnancy
source: medpagetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Elizabeth Warren wants to be the most powerful Democrat ever. Without running for president. Stop asking. Seriously, she's not running. No no, begging her to run will only make it worse
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chief of Scotland Yard wants to put a camera in every home, for your safety
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Sun March 08, 2015
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Captain America visits Seattle's Children's Hospital even after winning his bet with Star Lord, because he's Captain America and he can do what he wants
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
There are lots of weird educational videos out there, but here are the 4 oddest ones. Now, who wants to eat some leaves and trees?
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
♪ ♫ You've got plants, you've got plants... Everybody hold up your hands... You've got plants, you've got plants... We're throwing your a** in the can... Oh well, the safety dance... Ah yes, the safety dance...♫ ♪
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Sat March 07, 2015
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
NBC wants to add "connected gloves" and high tech cameras to boxing because Millennials can't figure the sport out. "Right now, millennials turn boxing on and they're like, 'Who's winning? I don't get this,'"
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Nancy Grace totally loves the legal system. Until a case doesn't end the way she wants it to end. "One woman could stop justice"
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 


Fri March 06, 2015
(Addicting Info)
 
 
 
MoveOn.org wants to prosecute John Boehner for, uh -- well, I'm not sure what. Disagreeing with Obama on something, it looks like
source: addictinginfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 


Thu March 05, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Denmark wants to rebrand part of Sweden as 'Greater Copenhagen'
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ringling Brothers Circus agrees to stop featuring elephants due to allegations of abuse, elephants declare they will never forget
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
He's young, conservative, thinks Obama hates America, and was kicked off of Facebook for being underage. He'll make a great GOP candidate in 2040. Bonus: Thinks his booting off FB was a conspiracy against his conservative rants
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lionel Richie wants a roof for his appearance at World's largest open-air festival. I suppose he's too fancy for a mere ceiling these days
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 


Wed March 04, 2015
(Fox News)
 
 
 
National Transportation Safety Board wants to take another look at "The Day the Music Died"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Tom Hanks wants the entire Internet to "back the f*ck off" about him being a subway seat hog of a straphanger
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 


Tue March 03, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NASCAR's upcoming Kansas race to be called the 'Spongebob Squarepants 400'. Fans say they haven't heard of such a race since Richard Petty beat David Pearson to the line in the Groovy Ghoulies 500
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Mon March 02, 2015
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Big business wants the government to regulate Google, which should completely put a stop to all that evil it's doing
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Michelle Rodriguez wants ethnic minority actors to stop stealing white people's superhero roles. In other news, people still ask Michelle Rodriguez things
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(232)
 
(Israel National News)
 
 
 
Obama almost went to war with Israel over Israel going to war with Iran who hates Israel and wants Israel to die, and of course is seeking a nuke and finances Hezbollah. Got it?
source: israelnationalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Britain wants to use eBay's dispute resolution system as a model for online small claims court. GREAT LITIGANT, A+++++++++ FOR GREAT JUSTICE, WOULD FILE AGAIN
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 


Sun March 01, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The world needs more grammar pedants and we need to start teaching grammar in schools again
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 


Sat February 28, 2015
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Sorry, human head transplants will not be possible by 2017. You're just going to have to wait until at least 2018 or thereabouts
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
World's first man-made island solely devoted to partying to be built in Dubai featuring two 'mega clubs,' four beach clubs and 100 restaurants
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Your dog wants steak, even though you just gave him a t-bone two minutes ago
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The chances that an armed air marshal will be on your flight is dependent on the amount of fuel on the aircraft, if there's any important passengers, or if a female air marshal wants the D
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 


Fri February 27, 2015
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Mark Cuban wants the NBA season to last until July
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
This poor sheriff, who hates Obamacare, now has a million medical bills, wants YOU to contribute to his GoFundMe
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Senator Marco Rubio (R-idiculous) says, "Just kidding, I hate immigrants. I can has presidency?"
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Medical student fails to live long and prosper on Australian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Decider)
 
 
 
If Will Smith wants to retain his status as a Hollywood A-Lister, he better hope people are so sick of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' they go see his new movie instead this weekend
source: decider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Silicon Republic)
 
 
 
Google decides that it wants people to use its Blogger platform after all
source: siliconrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Why immigrants never did take your job: "Immigration does not keep down wages or lead to an increase in unemployment. Immigrants don't even disproportionately take new jobs. The economic effects we presumed of immigration appear to be false"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl to be rebooted so a whole new generation's pants can mysteriously fit funny for the first time
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 


Thu February 26, 2015
(Newser)
 
 
 
You know that scene in Ferris Bueller when the parking attendants take the car for a joyride? A judge in Brazil seems to be familiar with it, too
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Animals are free of stresses of work, especially gentle giants and WHERE IS MY F@&^*ng COFFEE?
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
U.N. climate chief resigns over sexual harassment charges. Apparently he told the women in his office that there was global warming. In his pants
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 


Wed February 25, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Getting tired of dealing with your old, decrepit body? Good news- full body transplants are just a couple of years away
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Tue February 24, 2015
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Who wants to see a technicolor nightmare of people in onesie pajamas and cats dancing?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mignon wants to filet Net Neutrality
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Well so much for the all the culture, philosophy, Arab history and hundreds of manuscripts in the central library of the Iraqi city of Mosul. Easy come, easy go. Thanks, Islamic State militants
source: tass.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 


Mon February 23, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Wall Street brokers upset that the White House wants to hold them to a higher standard. The nerve of this guy, thinking that stockbrokers are human
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Wanted: Examiners for newly developed breast cancer screening technique. Applicants must be comfortable touching women's breasts, female, and blind (probably not safe for work)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 


Sun February 22, 2015
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Phyllis Schlafly is tired of the GOP establishment picking presidential losers, wants Real Conservatives to pick next loser instead
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(South Florida)
 
 
 
"No one wants to spend $20 to see a concert if it involves Kid Rock"
source: southflorida.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
What ISIS really wants, besides hookers and blow
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(ESPN Cricket)
 
 
 
Can plucky underdogs England record a shock victory against the giants of Scotland, or will they continue their humiliation tour of the Southern Hemisphere? It's your official Day 10 Cricket World Cup thread
source: espncricinfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Sat February 21, 2015
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Jamie "Flying Elbows of Death" Jackson wants you to know how she got to be the world record holder for catching the most bridal bouquets
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(ESPN Cricket)
 
 
 
Can Afghanistan get its first World Cup win against Sri Lanka? Who will in the battle of the giants in India vs South Africa? It's your Day 9 Cricket World Cup official discussion thread
source: espncricinfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Someone hacked into Kris Jenner's cloud storage and stole a nude video of her. No one wants to see that, man. Come on
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
70% of Americans want all-day access to breakfast at fast food restaurants. Apparently it's difficult to scramble two eggs at home at 7pm
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly responds directly to accusations made on Fark and elsewhere that his pants are on fire
source: nation.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Steven Spielberg wants to direct Indiana Jones and the Reboot of Irrelevance
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 


Fri February 20, 2015
(Fox News)
 
 
 
ISIS has an army of 7-foot-tall giants at its disposal, and they've been trained by Iran's best Photoshoppers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mom rants on the internet after zero out of 16 invited kids show up to her autistic six year old's birthday party. Does she get A) flamed, B) ignored, or C) a police and fire department response, including helicopter fly over
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(ESPN Cricket)
 
 
 
In today's Cricket World Cup discussion thread: Pakistan and West Indies look to stay alive in Group B (5 PM US EST), then Australia and Bangladesh look to stay alive in the remnants of a tropical cyclone (10:30 PM US EST)
source: espncricinfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Unlikely fast food restaurants
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman whose only friends were ferrets defies school bullies to launch successful modelling career, now wants to be a Victoria's Secret angel: "The ferrets wouldn't judge me and were always there for me when I had a bad day" (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 


Thu February 19, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you fall asleep on the train and wake up to find some guy's hands down your pants?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri anti-minimum wage Lt. Gov. wants a per diem increase because he feels "impoverished." FARK: He makes $86,000 per year
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
All you solid red states take one step forward... Not so fast there Texas. OK, now, all you states leaning *toward* red take one step forward... Seriously, Texas, why are y'all so antsy today? Get back in line
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
When it comes to car buying, not everyone wants wood paneling and a dead fish on the wall
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Carnegie Mellon University: "To the 800 applicants that wrongly got in, sorry about that. We're cool now, right?"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York State Senator wants to ban possession of machetes, make it safe for kids to return to Camp Crystal Lake this summer
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Global Geopolitics)
 
 
 
America: The number one cyberattack target, worldwide. Fark Bonus: shiat your pants as you click one link further and watch in real-time the barrage of attacks with pew pew laser effects
source: glblgeopolitics.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Conservative casino billionaire Sheldon Adelson wants to ban all online gambling because it's morally bad for you. I know, shocking isn't it?
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
In rare case of common sense, county officials decide not to rename their regional airport "international" due to not having any international flights, despite consultants who insist that's just a marketing tool
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
♫ Who lives in a dungeon that's under the sea? Ball-Gagged Squarepants. . . Submissive and handcuffed and ass-whipped is he. . . Ball-Gagged Squarepants ♫
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Wed February 18, 2015
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mom texts teenage boys, lets them know she wants to 'rock the cradle'
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
They took my money, my drugs, and my pants
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
This may be a surprise to some, but not everyone wants to see Scarlett Johansson strip naked and sprout cybernetic tentacles while firing a Seburo
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 


Tue February 17, 2015
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas judge rules that Obama can't not deport immigrants under executive actions that haven't been enforced yet. Obama vows that he won't stop not deporting immigrants, will appeal decision to stop the unimplemented executive action. Got it?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Put on your 1958 polka dot dress, white gloves and cloche hat, and read Qatar Airways' rules for its flight attendants
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Mon February 16, 2015
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Jewish Holocaust historian wants the internet to leave Hitler alone
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 


Sun February 15, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
William H. Macy wants a moratorium on scenes where things get shoved up his butt
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Sat February 14, 2015
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Obama wants Silicon Valley to stop cyber attacks while giving all your data to the NSA
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 


Fri February 13, 2015
(BadJocks)
 
 
 
"Sports Fan of the Year" tries to smuggle entire case of beer into game in his pants
source: badjocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
My gift to all you Farkers on this Valentines day weekend. This e-book is free for the next 5 days. And yes, I just want to get in your pants
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Pete Rose wants to talk to the new MLB commissioner over lifting his lifetime ban. "I'll always have hope. That's all I've got"
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Montana Rep: Come on guys, I was being sarcastic when I said we should ban yoga pants. Who could ever say "no" to those beautiful great plains, the purple mounds of majesty, the smoothness of the rump....I'll be in my bunk
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(NewsBusters)
 
 
 
Newsbusters helpfully puts together a list of Jon Stewart's best rants. Thanks, Newsbusters
source: newsbusters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 


Thu February 12, 2015
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Awkward moment at Gitmo when defendants recognize defense translator from his previous job at a CIA black site
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
TV cops act to stop Gamergate threats. Brianna Wu wants real cops to do the same
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1424)
 


Wed February 11, 2015
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
JCVD's daughter Bianca Bree Van Damme is here and she wants to become an action star, conquer the internet, and steal our hearts. Just don't get her mad or she'll do the splits and punch you in the groin
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Taylor Swift wants to sue the man who taught her how to play guitar, as do music fans everywhere
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
National Center on Sexual Exploitation wants 'pornographic' Sports Illustrated magazine hidden from prying eyes
source: radio.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Montana lawmaker wants to outlaw wearing yoga pants in public because they "simulate the appearance of buttocks," something they have in common with his press photo
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 


Tue February 10, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Restaurants only offer you dessert to be polite, cover up long-simmering resentment. Just like your mom
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Is that $105 worth of pork loins in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Mon February 09, 2015
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Woman admits to boyfriend that she engaged in sex acts with her dog. Your dog wants none of this
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Phnom Penh Post)
 
 
 
Two sisters fined and deported from Cambodia after being literally caught with their pants down taking naked selfies at the ancient temple of Angkor Wat
source: phnompenhpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 


Sun February 08, 2015
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Adnan Syed wins motion to appeal conviction. Looks like someone wants a 'Serial' follow-up
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
SpongeBob Squarepants becomes the second person to knock off American Sniper, raking in $53 million at the box office, gaining the #1 spot. Sniper sits at #2 with $22.5 million, and despite Mila Kunis Jupiter Ascending bombs with $18 million
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 


Sat February 07, 2015
(CSN Chicago)
 
 
 
Ashton Kutcher wants his daughter to one day coach the Chicago Bears. If last season's Bears are any indication, she's probably ready right now
source: csnchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NBA Commissioner wants to change the playoff format. Apparently he doesn't think it's fair for the four teams that currently don't make it into the postseason
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Fri February 06, 2015
(Politico)
 
 
 
USDA is gonna cut off farm subsidies for people who think 4 pot plants on a rooftop in Portland is considered a farm
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Behind the scenes at Star Trek: "Out of the back of Gene's office comes Nichelle Nichols, who's wearing one of Gene's long cardigan sweaters, and NOTHING ELSE. No shirt, no pants, nothing"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 


Thu February 05, 2015
(TMZ)
 
 
 
"Dr. 90210" claims he can now enlarge breasts without implants using stem cells. Still no cure for cancer (not safe for work pic)
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
As part of its impressively effective effort to piss off the ENTIRE world, ISIS publicly executes three Chinese muslim militants fighting for the group after labeling them deserters (autoplay video)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Today)
 
 
 
At 3:03 Matt Lauer says, "My heart broke for you. How do you get over that?" Pete Carroll: "Well, I have piles of money and bottles of stimulants"
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British Conservative party is spending £125,000 a month on consultants whose only job is to make the party look good on Facebook
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Wed February 04, 2015
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Obama's Superbowl Blunder: "Islamic Radicals are on the rise and NBC wants to know where President Obama dips his chips ... The president got tougher questions from that Fruit Loops Milk Bath lady"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Who needs a baby sitter for your two infants while you attend a winter wine tasting, when your car will do the job just fine?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 


Tue February 03, 2015
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Who wants to see the first two minutes of The Walking Dead midseason premiere?
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Mon February 02, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
Women are you tired of creepy men sending you unwanted d*ck pics? Here's a way to make them pull their pants up - You're welcome
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(332)
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Johnny Football sends himself to rehab after realizing he has a major problem. Also, he wants to take care of his substance abuse problem
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Wife of hedge fund billionaire Ken Griffin wants $1 million a month in child support, because you never know when your kid has a report due on the Eiffel Tower and you just have to make a quick flight to Paris
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ann Mara, matriarch of the NY Giants family, has passed at 85. Kate--if you need a shoulder to cry on, call me
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Sun February 01, 2015
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Man, who wants to keep you from watching grown women have sex, has sex with children. The Aristocrats
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Awl)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: How to cook a farking steak to the left. Your farking better way to the right. Your dog wants COMPOUND FARKING BUTTER (Not safe for work language)
source: theawl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 


Sat January 31, 2015
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Direct descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys are producing legal moonshine, the start of a new legacy for the families made famous for their 19th-century feud"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Dogs save factory worker's life after he falls into coma. Submitter wants a job where there is so little supervision that he can fall into a coma without anyone noticing
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Re/code)
 
 
 
Imgur won't let the animated GIF die, unveils tool to create your own and host it with them. "The company already hosts hundreds of millions of GIFs on the site, and it now wants to make it easier for people to create more" [applause.gif]
source: recode.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Fri January 30, 2015
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Prosecutors drop domestic violence charges against George Zimmerman after the victim recants. Well I say we all owe Mr. Zimmerman a big apology for even thinking he was capable of such a violent act
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Here it is: The only tipping guide you'll ever need. And it's accurate; it has the mandatory 20% for waitstaff at restaurants
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 


Thu January 29, 2015
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Who wants a BlackBerry these days? Millions of people in Africa and Asia, for one
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Inventor of the origami condom -- which came in male, female, and anal versions -- being forced to pay back $2.4 million in NIH grants because -- big surprise here -- origami condoms don't actually "work"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
I guess if you can crawl through the rubble of a collapsed store, then yoga pants might be what you need
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This week on Downton Abbey: in which the Dowager Countess gets high as balls down in the servants' quarters
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Sorry, kids. No recess today. Drop your pants and bend over. It's poop inspection time"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 


Wed January 28, 2015
(UPI)
 
 
 
Valentine's Day celebrants now predicted to spend a mega $703 million on gifts ... for their pets
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Tue January 27, 2015
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
"So I have 16 warrants right now. Lol they know where I'm at tho, so it must not be TOO bad"
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Boomstick Comics)
 
 
 
Disney wants Chris Pratt to play 'Indiana Jones'
source: boomstickcomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
On advanced alien civilisations - "It's like you have some ants living by the side of the road and humans are building a highway next to them. How can you explain to those ants what that highway means? You cannot. We could be those ants"
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Dozens of dogs have mysteriously gone missing in a small Texan town. Your dog wants a security detail
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 


Mon January 26, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
Phil the Angry Biker wants to sabotage Tom the Misguided Hipster's plan to crowdfund 13 dates, announces crowdfunding effort to follow Tom around on all his dates while ineptly playing accordion
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 


Sun January 25, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
MLB's new commissioner wants to give the shift the shaft
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Flexible brain implants have arrived, developed by MIT engineers who either never read Neuromancer or never stopped reading Neuromancer
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Iowa Governor Terry Branstad wants to shut down the state's state-run mental hospitals. That should end well
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Andy Samberg wants Amy Poehler to guest star on the funniest sitcom currently airing on network TV
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
DARPA wants drones to hunt in packs, have just given up entirely on avoiding the coming robot apocalypse and are now actively trying to bring it about
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 


Sat January 24, 2015
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona lawmaker wants to make it illegal for panhandlers to use a crosswalk signal for the sole purpose of stopping drivers to hit them up for spare change. Why yes he's with the party in favor of less government
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 


Fri January 23, 2015
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Glenn Beck wants to 'teach' the Pope about capitalism
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN wants to know if 'lumbersexuals' save Land's End? (with pic of James Franco)
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Texas lawmaker who wants high schoolers to pass a civics test before graduating: "I know World War II was started Dec. 7, 1941." *Poland side-eyes*
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
WHHHOOOOO lives in a stomach, oh can't you see, it's SpongeBob Squarepants (w/ X-rays)
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What happens when you revisit 50-year-old TV science programs to check their predictions for the future? Well we never got floating bikes, robot snooker players or paper pants, although we're pretty good without that last one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Oh baby, hold on to your pants... 'mom jeans' are back
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
When the food at the local prison rates higher than all of your restaurants in the area you know your cuisine sucks
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 


Thu January 22, 2015
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
State senator's cunning plan to eliminate gay marriage - force couples to get married by religious officiants
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Polly wants a commercial acting gig
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Meet Tom the hipster. He can't afford to go out on dates, so he wants you to pay for them. For a contribution of £10 you get a 'signed limited edition print' of his face. And it only gets better from there
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Man dubbed the "Braveheart Bandit" arrested. Wants his Freedooooom. With mugshot of lameass facial tattoo
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Wed January 21, 2015
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Dude who needs hair cutting sues power company for tree-cutting. He wants $54 million. Because why not?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Supreme Court protesters interrupt justices with chants of "we are the 99%" on the anniversary of the Citizens United case, waking Justice Thomas from his hourly nap
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Why animals eat psychoactive plants, and no it's not just 'because they can'
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The League Cup, aka The Least Cup, aka The Cup Nobody Wants to Win Unless It's The Only Cup They Can Win kicks off semi-final action with a cracking Liverpool v Chelsea match
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Business is growing for Breastaurants. Cockaterias reportedly showing disappointingly small and limp growth
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Team Coco)
 
Video
 
Archer enlists the help of Conan O'Brien. This is how you get ants
source: teamcoco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Mon January 19, 2015
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Fox wants to believe in new X-Files starring old actors
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New study discovers that living near trees means you'll need fewer antidepressants because you'll be too busy raking leaves to be bummed out with life
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Sun January 18, 2015
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Holton, wearing a ski mask and sunglasses, told Farmer to pull down his pants during the attempted robbery. Those were Holton's last words
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
The old adage "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" is courteous and correct ... except in restaurants
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 


Sat January 17, 2015
(Brand Eating)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut Hong Kong unveils "Double Sensation II," which is not a porn film, but a stuffed-crust pizza with yet another stuffed-crust embedded as ring. Comes in Beef Legend and Seafood Sensation variants. Again, not a porn film
source: brandeating.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Frank Darabont backs out of directing Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth in The Huntsman. That man just can't find any project he wants to commit to
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 


Fri January 16, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Pencils down, close books, finish bourbon, and remove pants: It's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Harry Reid may be absent, but is still very much in charge, still wears the pants, still holds a dominant position in a Democrat hierarchy, the Big Man on Campus, the BDSM
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 


Thu January 15, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
This 88-year-old doctor treats the poor out of his Toyota Camry. Mississippi wants to punish him for it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 


Tue January 13, 2015
(NPR)
 
 
 
Obama wants the federal government to do a better job of protecting the data it's stolen from you
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
So, who wants to see video of Jamie Lynn Spears wielding a knife to prevent a fight in a sandwich shop?
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Mon January 12, 2015
(Improv Everywhere)
 
Video
 
Improv Everywhere's annual No Pants Subway Ride. Brrrr
source: improveverywhere.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Acura decides it wants to compete with Lexus and Infiniti after all, brings back the NSX
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"SpaceX wants rockets to be more like cheap beer and less like cocaine" (Some Not safe for work content in article's comment section)
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Sun January 11, 2015
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Orly Taitz wants George Clooney's wife to investigate Obama's birth certificate, because toaster, bicycle, melon, Q-tip, airplane. Where's the Batshiat Crazy tag when you really need it?
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Watts Up With That)
 
 
 
Remember that study that considered whether there was a connection between global warming and Moon hoaxes? OK, stop laughing. One of the participants was 32,757 years old. OK, continue laughing
source: wattsupwiththat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Target wants to hook up with fat chicks, but not be seen in public with them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 


Sat January 10, 2015
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Minnesota bill will secure persons, houses, papers, and effects from unreasonable searches, require warrants based on probable cause, be struck down as unconstitutional by a federal court
source: blog.tenthamendmentcenter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The hotel that inspired 'The Shining' wants fans to drink some red rum and design a new hedge maze
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 


Fri January 09, 2015
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Anderson Cooper helpfully corrects Chris Cuomo that a terrorist born in Paris to Senegalese immigrants is NOT "African American"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
So what does 1,000 calories look like at different fast-food restaurants?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pedro Martinez wants to let his soul glo on his Cooperstown plaque
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Thu January 08, 2015
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Denver cop arrested for stealing $20,000 worth of TurboTax software in dog food bags and then selling it on eBay for $60,000. Your dog wants an accountant
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Texas legislator wants the cowboy hat to be the official state headgear. Apparently straw hats are no longer in their hay day
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"The weak spot is pants" says topless driver (w/pics of said person driving topless and you clicked long before I could disappoint you with "sfw")
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Wed January 07, 2015
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Look, when Jesus Christ tells you that he wants to do an open-mic stand-up routine with a Bible and a sex toy, you let him
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Charles Koch wants your support in eliminating poverty by ending mass incarceration of... wait, THAT Charles Koch?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 


Tue January 06, 2015
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Harry Reid wants you to know that his broken ribs and broken face came from exercising at home with his personal trainers Moose and Rocco
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: Farrah Abraham's implants look awful. Fark: Her lip implants
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
Toyota really, really, REALLY wants you to PLEASE buy its new hydrogen fuel-cell vehicle that, quite frankly, ain't too bad looking
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fairfax county police officer who shot and killed a man 16 months ago wants you to know he just remembered the guy had a loaded gun nearby. Actually, multiple guns. Yeah, multiple guns and...and...he was like, all waving them around and stuff
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Scientists have discovered the genes that give bowhead whales a 200-year lifespan. But who wants to live that long? A 200-year life is a fate worse than death"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Turns out the Easter Island inhabitants didn't resort to cannibalism after cutting down all the trees. Instead Europeans gave them all syphilis. Don't know what's worse
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(ChinaSmack)
 
 
 
It is precious to us, we must use its. Keep away, dirty little flight attendants
source: chinasmack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 


Mon January 05, 2015
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
So, who wants to see Courtney Love's opera debut? Anyone?
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Rep. Kevin Yoder (R-CitiGroup) wants you to know that he only scrapped banking regulations on risky derivatives because he was trying to protect the country from Obama
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Should a 17-year-old girl have the right to decide if she wants chemotherapy or not?
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
If you were homeless and then move into a home and then that home burns down so you're homeless again, maybe God just wants you to live on the streets
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 


Sun January 04, 2015
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
They Might Be Giants are bringing back Dial-A-Song this year
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
America is being destroyed by: A) Self-serving politicians; B) Global Warming; C) Fast food restaurants
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The British government wants nannies and nursery school workers to report any evidence of toddlers' terrorist sympathies. Remember that war the US fought to save the UK from fascism? Good times
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
OMG, will the excesses of the Obama family Hawaiian vacation never end? First the extravagant restaurants, now the young girls hanging with rock star royality
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 


Sat January 03, 2015
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Four year old wants to see in the dark. Does he: A) turn on a flashlight; B) turn on the bedroom light; C) light some paper on fire, drop said paper on the ground, and start a massive house fire?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Bruce Jenner wants a reality show for his family and promises there will be no Kardashians on it...but so far, no one is biting
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scott Walker faces increasing opposition from within his own party. They want to do all the same nutty stuff he wants to do after he runs for president. They just want to do it right now
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 


Fri January 02, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Artist who made little houses for ants because he thought they needed a place to live moves on to miniature sculptures inside needle eyes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In a reflection of just how bad the job market is right now, or how many masochists there are in the world, a wanted ad posted by a UK firm for a human paintball tester has drawn more than 10,000 applicants
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 2015. We must now consider the entrants to the Eurovision of trees. Without the crappy music, thankfully
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 


Wed December 31, 2014
(MacWorld)
 
 
 
This Macintosh guidebook from 1991 explained everything Apple users needed to know, with the possible exception of how it was possible to look smug while wearing parachute pants and a feathered mullet
source: macworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 


Tue December 30, 2014
(Athlon Sports)
 
 
 
It's official: Jim Harbaugh will be taking his "dad pants" to Michigan as their new head coach
source: athlonsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Apparel and dining out drove U.S. holiday sales. Mostly from people eating at the mall food court and then needing to buy a larger pair of pants
source: ca.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 


Sun December 28, 2014
(CNN)
 
 
 
Some high-end restaurants are paying their employees a livable wage and implementing a "no-tip" policy because most people tip because they "have to" and not because of the service they get. Mr. Pink approves
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 


Fri December 26, 2014
(Venture Beat)
 
 
 
Académie française wants you to STFU with the LOL although IFIYGD and YMWAHAYFSOE are both sort of okay
source: venturebeat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Here are 17 toys every kid in the '80s wanted for Christmas. That Ghostbusters firehouse playset will always be cool, and Teddy Ruxpin still wants your eternal soul
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 


Thu December 25, 2014
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Steve Spurrier admits no one wants to go to the Duck Commander Independence Bowl
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 

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