Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		The United States Army has changed how they train soldiers for the first time in over 30 years. Apparently, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare doesn't prepare you to carry 60 pounds of gear in the desert  (aolnews.com)	(197)
		Taliban cleric calls for overthrow of US government. What's that? I'm sorry; make that "US Congressman Steve King calls for overthrow of US government."  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(158)

		"Mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, the U.S. will break into six pieces -- with Alaska reverting to Russia"  (online.wsj.com)	(144)
		Israel says that the crisis caused by U.S. criticism is the worst since the last time the U.S. criticized them  (news.yahoo.com)	(94)

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), the likelihood of a woman dying in childbirth in the US is five times greater than in Greece  (guardian.co.uk)

(268)

		Andrew McCarthy helpfully points out that the United States was not at war with England in 1770. No, really  (online.wsj.com)	(287)
		This is literally why America can't have nice things  (gallup.com)	(136)

		US Court of Federal Claims rules that thimerosal-based vaccines could not have caused autism. States that claims are "was biologically implausible and scientifically unsupported". Well, that should settle everything then, right?  (aolnews.com)	(190)
		FCC launches its own broadband speed test site so you can see exactly how your ISP is humping you like a horny donkey    (boingboing.net)	(106)
		Beck: Springsteen's 'Born in the USA' is 'anti-American,' 'propaganda'  (rawstory.com)	(202)
		Iran wins in simulation versus United States. Iran will win in the real world too. I guess that's not what you wanted to read  (washingtontimes.com)	(390)

Think about your six closest friends. Now try to guess which one has herpes  (reuters.com)

(202)

		Under new 'poverty measurement ' guidlines being proposed by Obama, countries like Bangladesh and Haiti will actually have lower poverty rates than the United States. Bonus: Even LBJ rejected this bullsh*t  (article.nationalreview.com)	(130)
		A majority of Americans think they are less respected now than when Bush was feared by every neutral country in the world  (washingtontimes.com)	(94)

Al Qaida calls on US muslims to attack America seeing as how they're a little too busy dodging predator strikes and military raids to do it themselves  (aolnews.com)

(294)

		In the United States people forge drivers licenses to drink underage. In Switzerland people take it to a much higher level  (aolnews.com)	(74)
(Margaret Thatcher)		BAE Systems pleads guilty to conspiring to defraud the US and violating Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. BAE will pay $400 million fine "one of the largest criminal fines ever levied in the United States against a company"  (webnewswire.com)	(37)
		To meet the Obama administration's targets for cutting greenhouse gas emissions, Americans may have to experience gas at $7 a gallon. No comment from Al Gore, but he's looking a little nervous after hearing that  (dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com)	(618)

		They gave us jerbs  (csmonitor.com)	(23)
(Chronicle of Higher Ed)		The story of the rainbow trout in America, the government welfare fish that muscled its way into the nation's coldwater streams  (chronicle.com)	(111)
		Poll shows that Americans have as much faith in an economic recovery right now as they have in Buzz Aldrin winning "Dancing With the Stars"  (rasmussenreports.com)	(110)

Christopher Hitchens: "For a few hours at least, the United States of America appeared to be - and actually was - a pathetic banana republic"  (network.nationalpost.com)

(48)

		News: Customer satisfaction increases after call center was moved from India back to the United States. Fark: Move actually saves money in the long term  (detnews.com)	(55)
(Some Ditz)		Israel to US: "Since you guys wont bomb Iran, we'll go find someone who will." US: Hey, since you're all grown up now, can we stop paying you your allowance, too?  (news.antiwar.com)	(225)
(USGS)		Reports coming in of an 8.5 earthquake hitting Chile  (earthquake.usgs.gov)	(1334)

		U.S. bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer also enjoys boxing  (network.nationalpost.com)	(48)
		60% of Americans prefer socialism  (cnn.com)	(622)

"Canada: the skinny and weakling bro to a beefy United States and a colonial outpost to the United Kingdom, whose Queen smiles happily from Canadian postage stamps. " Gee Russia, what do you REALLY think?  (english.pravda.ru)

(338)

		New $1 billion US Embassy in London to consist of a glass cube surrounded by a moat. Yes, a moat. w/ pic  (timesonline.co.uk)	(255)
		NBC's Olympics coverage is a microcosm of the USA's cultural narcissism: We are so convinced of our own superiority that, when we lose, NBC doesn't even bother to show the gold medalist on screen  (newsweek.washingtonpost.com)	(171)
(Pew Pew Pew)		Support for labor unions among Americans, which was as high as 58 percent in 2007, is down to 41 percent. A spokesman for unions is expected to respond after his break    (people-press.org)	(134)
		In the 1800's, the US government put the local indian tribes on a reservation. Today, that reservation sits on billions of barrels of oil. Drill, Kimosabe, drill  (news.yahoo.com)	(63)

Obama starts process of bringing Japan's bullet-train system to America, based on fact that it's tried-and-true technology, has never crashed, and is greener than cars. "U.S. bullet trains would probably require larger seats"  (search.japantimes.co.jp)

(357)

The best airport in the United States? Indianapolis International Airport. International because they do fly to Toronto  (indystar.com)

(142)

(Some Guy)		Can of cola has sparked a diplomatic row between the tiny western Pacific nation of the Marshall Islands and the United States  (dailytelegraph.com.au)	(82)
		Kay Burley: "Fiscal stimulus package aside, is that a bruise on your forehead?" Joe Biden: "No, it is Ash Wednesday." "Oops, sorry, I've said three Hail Marys, everything is going to be fine"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(234)

		Obama administration grants Temporary Protected Status (TPS) to Haitians illegally residing in United States. If only there were some kind of report summarizing the government's efforts to keep track of them  (abcnews.go.com)	(137)
		Poll: Americans are the most attractive people in the world. USA USA USA  (telegraph.co.uk)	(497)
		The State Department sends their newest government diplomat to strengthen and broaden ties between the United States and Russia. Ashton Kutcher ??.....*facepalm*  (news.cnet.com)	(53)

		Joseph Farah: "never have I stated that Obama was not born in the United States. "  (wnd.com)	(364)
		Under the miles of white powder, Bolivia has another export that should really energize Americans  (boston.com)	(36)

"It's Microsoft's Game to Lose with Windows Mobile 7" says columnist, ignoring marketshare figures of 20% in the US and 8% worldwide as he buries his nose between Ballmer's buttocks  (pcworld.com)

(103)

2000: A strong dollar is good for the United States. 2010: A strong dollar is ruining exports and destroying 150,000 jobs a year  (abcnews.go.com)

(32)

White House reportedly "disappointed" by the way the UK courts have ruled that the public should know when Britain tortures people  (independent.co.uk)

(37)

Iraq War veteran Lt. Dan Choi, who came out to Rachel Maddow, has been reinstated in the United States Army. You are all safer tonight  (cbsnews.com)

(270)

(NBC Sports)

Super Bowl XLIV wasn't just the most-watched program in US history, it was the most-watched program in Canadian history as well, surpassing the 2009 Grey Cup  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)

(53)

		Chinese officials get their feathers ruffled and cry fowl because US is dumping chicken feet and wings for poultry sums of money. US producers eggstatic, believing that the beak shall inherit the earth  (news.yahoo.com)	(37)
		45,000. That's the number of lives taken by no health care-coverage  (reuters.com)	(167)

That rumor about Haiti releasing the 10 church people that were transporting kids. Forget that, they've all been formally charged for kidnapping  (msnbc.msn.com)

(537)

		When reality imitates porn: United States and Britain are on the lookout for female bombers. Let the backroom searchers begin  (smh.com.au)	(60)
		Ever thought about redrawing the fifty states to equalize the populations and thus the representation in the US Senate? Here's a really cool map which shows what it would look like  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(380)
(Goal.com)		US Soccer team starts World Cup year with convincing win. Just kidding, they got trounced by a third world country  (goal.com)	(73)

(What Does It Mean?)		Another U.S. induced earthquake test like the one used on Haiti is being planned so we can shake up things in Iran. What? Sounds legit  (whatdoesitmean.com)	(128)
		I personally believe that these U.S. Americans don't HAVE maps. The Iraq, such as  (tv.yahoo.com)	(54)

		One year later, Guantanamo still open. Promise broken  (msnbc.msn.com)	(348)
		"Many people would be surprised to learn that the US already has a strong cricketing heritage."  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(61)
		Say hello to the All-American Basketball Alliance, a professional basketball league where "Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league."  (ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com)	(106)

(Some Guy)

Thanks to Obama's broadband stimulus, U.S. broadband speeds have...declined by 2.4 percent  (govtech.com)

(75)

		The reason you're alive to read this instead of chasing rats for food in a post-apocalyptic wasteland is that the swine flu epidemic never quite happened in the US  (townhall.com)	(102)
		Brady center upset that President Obama has not sought violations of the United States Constitution  (thehill.com)	(304)

Anger at U.S. builds in Haiti, presumably from the brazen use of our earthquake machine  (google.com)

(533)

(Skeptical Science)		2009 was the 2nd hottest year in history. In other news, the continental United States is not the entire world  (skepticalscience.com)	(129)
		Ben Affleck killed by U.S. missile strike in Pakistan  (huffingtonpost.com)	(123)

You know how Google (and pretty much everyone) provides information to US law enforcement? Yeah, that's what the Chinese hacked  (arstechnica.com)

(169)

		Paul Krugman points out that Europe has far higher taxes and unemployment than the US, which proves that social democracy in Europe works. Wait, what?  (nytimes.com)	(415)
		Obama going 'full frontal' on our sovereignty. Hawt  (newsmax.com)	(66)

International Courts: U.S. must follow international law. U.S. Supreme Court: Suck it. USA. USA. USA  (upi.com)

(378)

(Elliott.org)		$USD are U.S. currency. Except when they aren't  (elliott.org)	(80)
(Some Guy)		Al-Qaida goes all Darth Vader: U.S. mainland targeted by redirecting incoming asteroid  (humorvolcano.com)	(40)

Today marks the 175th anniversary of the only day the US had a national debt balance of zero. Good times  (en.wikipedia.org)

(97)

Zidane's 2006 World Cup head-butt victim still so butt-hurt he's traveling the US instead of watching 2010 World Cup  (nytimes.com)

(64)

I, Donald Williams, do solemnly swear that I will administer justice without respect to persons....under the Constitution and laws of the United States. So help me Merriam-Webster  (upi.com)

(193)

After two days of celebrity treatment in one of the best hospitals in the country, Rush Limbaugh declares there is nothing wrong with the US health care system. His heart checked out fine, but someone needs to examine the Scarecrow's brain  (nydailynews.com)

(385)

Schools should close for a minimum of eight weeks to lessen flu pandemics, according to a study endorsed by every student in the United States    (labspaces.net)

(51)

"In a setback for U.S. interests in Central America, voters in Honduras elect, as their new president, Rod Blagojevich"  (miamiherald.com)

(47)

		Nigerians blame the Crotchbomber's radicalization on his foreign education  (reuters.com)	(98)
		"It isn't just that that no one has cut Obama any slack. World leaders seem to be taking pleasure in rebuffing him, disappointing him, even, in some cases, mocking him."  (slate.com)	(289)
		Roman Polanski is overwhelmed by the support since his arrest, makes him feel like a 13-year-old again    (news.com.au)	(188)

Merry Christmas, to the declining 78% of Americans who declare themselves Christian according to latest Gallup polls  (gallup.com)

(259)

Sen. Jim DeMint to seek a vote on an amendment to prohibit the practice of trading votes for earmarks in the United States Senate  (corner.nationalreview.com)

(135)

Nearsightedness has increased since the 1970s, presumably because the Internet is for porn  (wired.com)

(91)

Tiger Woods' doctor under investigation for distributing performance-enhancing drugs. Surprisingly not Viagra  (businessinsider.com)

(111)

Nobel prize winner, former US Vice President, author, film maker, all-around nice guy with a huge penis, Al Gore: "Polar ice may be completely gone by 2014."  (cnews.canoe.ca)

(285)

Why Canada is being slammed by the world for climate change emissions even though it's the United States that farted in the elevator and then let someone else get shunned for it  (earthtimes.org)

(104)

GOP is planning to undermine the President of the United States on the world stage. Now that's Patrioticism  (foxnews.com)

(686)

(The Robalution)		United States Senator Jim Webb (D-ownright Awesome) to Obama: You're not emperor  (therobalution.com)	(266)
		Obama's top General floats novel idea.. "How 'bout we try to catch Bin Laden for the first time in 8 years"?  (msnbc.msn.com)	(218)

Iran's president has documented evidence the U.S. is blocking the return of the Twelfth Imam, mankind's savior. Or maybe that was 'demented evidence'  (foxnews.com)

(116)

		"When free marketers warn that Democratic health care initiatives will make us more 'like France,' a big part of me says, 'I wish,'" says Ironic-tag-exploding editor of libertarian magazine Reason  (reason.com)	(293)
		United States Supreme Court seeks to crush the SarbOx oversight board and return American corporate governance to the Halcyon days of Enron  (reuters.com)	(75)

		Many Americans now think we should mind our own business  (freep.com)	(101)
		Sex Pistols' Steve Jones can be heard on the radio in the United States, which is more than the Sex Pistols ever managed  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(20)
		Fake toilet concealed drug tunnel linking Mexico with US. Subby thought that smell was paraquat  (earthtimes.org)	(41)

(Some Guy)		"Russia has fallen behind the United States in the race to arm sea mammals"  (jacarandafm.com)	(56)
		If you're going to piss off the President of the United States by crashing his first State Dinner you might as well get in some practice before hand by crashing the Congressional Black Caucus Awards Dinner  (myfoxdc.com)	(70)

Ladies and Gentlemen, The President of the United States, Dick Cheney  (newsweek.com)

(229)

		Cases of drug-resistant bacterial infection have risen by 90 percent since 1999, at least partially because it's no longer being diagnosed as lupus  (news.yahoo.com)	(56)
		Nearly six in ten Mexicans say living in the U.S. is much better than back in Old Mexico. Lou Dobbs' head to explode in 3... 2... 1  (fe17.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com)	(239)

China angrily warns the US that publicly talking about China's attempts to steal US military and industrial secrets could harm US-China relations  (news.yahoo.com)

(125)

ADM says corn chowder will be creamier for the holidays this year  (reuters.com)

(70)

Erik Holder, the nations lead attorney is a little unclear on the usage of the Miranda warning which has been in use since 1966  (npr.org)

(580)