Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Catherine Zeta-Jones wants to do a remake of "War Of The Roses" with her husband, Michael Douglas. Stop, stop it right now  (contactmusic.com)	(50)

Wife of Pentecostal minister locks self in room for weeks to fast and be with God. Husband never bothers to check, since she was in the Lord's hands. Guess how that worked out?  (foxnews.com)

(213)

Widow telling tragic story of husband's death to state legislature is actually illegal, unregistered lobbyist using husband's death for her own and others' financial gain  (thenewspaper.com)

(11)

Roman Polanski's wife is very upset that her pedo husband has been jailed, interfering with his ability to keep her and their children rich beyond their wildest dreams  (aolnews.com)

(271)

The question isn't why would you turn your Android phone into a truckbot. The question is, why wouldn't you  (wired.com)

(7)

Gay Catholic ex-stripper awaits birth of twins carried by sister's husband. Ta-da  (blogs.villagevoice.com)

(93)

Company releases USB stick guaranteed to melt the first time any of you insert it into your computer  (gizmodo.com)

(67)

Mo'Nique on her husband: "He loves the hairy legs and if Sid likes the hairy legs, there you go"  (starpulse.com)

(152)

Brittany Murphy's sweaty, douchey husband finds out his name is in the will but only to point out that she isn't leaving him a pot to pee in. But since all the money's going to Murphy's mom, he will now move in with her  (dlisted.com)

(41)

Family finds box containing mementos of their deceased mother's first husband, including his Purple Heart and Silver Star from Korea with letter signed by Harry Truman, and a photo of her with hole made by the bullet that killed him  (helenair.com)

(150)

(Some Guy)		When stuck in the snow, don't use your husband's body for traction  (wmdt.com)	(28)
		Apparently a backup camera is now considered a must have feature on new cars. Damn kids. Back in my day we were excited when a car came with air conditioning  (autos.yahoo.com)	(335)

		It turns out that the higher a person's IQ is, the more of a whack-a-doodle they become, like the Alabama psycho professor and her husband, both who sport IQs of 180+: "...they think differently than most people do"  (blog.al.com)	(437)
		Gwyneth Paltrow says she's fixed her 'sagging ass'. Now to work on her husband's sagging record sales  (3news.co.nz)	(54)

		How well did Back To The Future Part II predict the future?  (denofgeek.com)	(89)
		"'What are you doing?' she asked when she heard her husband's urine spraying the floor." Then it gets weird (with HER mugshoot goodness)  (tampabay.com)	(81)

		Your PS3 is now a DVR (but it still can't play PS2 games)  (kotaku.com)	(114)
		In Vegas you'd have to pay extra for multi-touch, here's how to get it on your Droid for free  (gizmodo.com)	(53)

		With Valentine's Day almost here, Vicar urges women parishioners to "be silent" and "submit to your husbands"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(166)
		Aww: Husband of 37 years makes valentine. News: Half-mile-wide valentine. Fark: Manure  (twincities.com)	(52)

Husband abuses his wife by continuing to bring home stray cats. "Ed put me through four years of hell."  (news.cincinnati.com)

(67)

Evander Holyfield's wife requests a restraining order, hires a lawyer to talk her husband's ear off  (contactmusic.com)

(13)

(SouthCoastToday)		Female readers in uproar after sex therapist tells them that the reason their husbands watch porn is because they don't put out, make him a sammich  (southcoasttoday.com)	(436)
		Fully operational steampunk firearms. Yeah, it's as cool as it sounds  (boingboing.net)	(13)

Shark attack victim was a veteran windsurfer, good husband to his wife, loving father to his children, pal to his friends, and chum to shark    (cbsnews.com)

(118)

President Obama fulfills promise to eliminate corporate cronyism in federal government. Just kidding, his weatherization chief has been giving handouts to her business exec husband's tiny window company  (townhall.com)

(58)

Christina Hendricks' husband comes to her defense over distorted New York Times picture. Tag for first three words of this headline  (starpulse.com)

(91)

(Some Guy)

Why whipping the public into a frenzy with hype is a bad thing for a company and it's products, herein dubbed "The Apple Effect"  (fiercemobilecontent.com)

(49)

Bill Gates caught table-dancing "Paris Hilton style" at Sundance. Top THAT, Steve Jobs  (news.cnet.com)

(39)

(a suburban rag)		Wife runs over husband with car after night at bar. With "damn right I'd buy her a drink" mugshot  (lohud.com)	(121)
(Some Old Dude)		Hot blond softball coach fired when school finds out her husband molested her when she was 14 and he was 39. (with "what was she thinkin'?" pic)  (badjocksnews.com)	(88)

Woman busted for getting drunk and repeatedly calling 911 to say she was just "tired of her husband"  (tampabay.com)

(22)

Roman Polanski's wife says he's a "marvelous husband", great with kids  (news.yahoo.com)

(66)

MSNBC tech gurus: don't buy an external hard drive--they're COMPLETELY obsolete for 2010. After all, there are online data storage alternatives that barely exist now and cost much much more  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com)

(225)

Headline: Will Wii be threatened by MS, Sony motion controllers? Better question: Do real gamers even want motion controls?  (news.cnet.com)

(241)

		Attention all state fair organizers, Lockheed Martin has introduced an Iron Clad "PC on a stick" featuring 8GB storage, 256-bit encryption, built-in virus protection, secure networking features  (engadget.com)	(47)
		Husbands get more benefit from marriage than wives, such as a valuable, constant stream of constructive criticism    (usatoday.com)	(269)

		Not news: Customer doesn't tip and complains pizza is cold. News: Guy then punches delivery guy, fracturing his skull. Fark: "My husband is in jail for no reason and that is not right"  (suntimes.com)	(374)
(KSBW.COM)		Woman murders husband over a) money, b) another woman, or c) tacos  (ksbw.com)	(144)
		Man takes two 12-packs from hotel store without paying. When hotel staff confronts man he collapses and dies. Wife is mortified and apologizes for husband's behavior. No, just kidding, she's suing hotel for unspecified amount  (myfoxla.com)	(184)

Lucille Rembert started to cry as she looked down at her husband's grave; another woman had been buried next to him - in her spot. "I said, 'Oh no, not again...'. "  (tampabay.com)

(61)

(Technology News)

When the TSA said their bodyscanners don't save images, what they really meant is that your fat, naked ass will be all over the intertubes  (technewsworld.com)

(206)

Photoshop theme: Bad timing  (fark.com)

(46)

American aid worker trapped in the rubble of her house after the Haitian earthquake has been saved-by her husband. Which means he can leave his dirty socks anywhere he damn well pleases from now on  (abcnews.go.com)

(176)

Wife rewires her husbands power tools so they will electrocute him because he is leaving her. I'm not sure "you're doing it wrong" fully covers the fail in that  (accessatlanta.com)

(205)

(Longmont Times-Call)

USB-incompatible toddler upgraded from iCritical to iStable. Shocking new twist: parents claim USB cable was plugged into computer that was not powered on  (timescall.com)

(220)

		Having sex twice a week reduces chance of heart attack by half - unless her husband walks in on you  (telegraph.co.uk)	(124)
		Parents discover their toddler is not USB compatible. Third degree burn compatible sure, but USB compatible, not so much  (denverpost.com)	(362)

		Romanian woman didn't know that her husband hid $57,768 in some old footwear. Hilarity in shoes    (abcnews.go.com)	(66)
		Nagging your husband is not a crime - or at least that's what my wife tells me over and over and over again  (telegraph.co.uk)	(42)

		"This is where we've come as a society. It takes a conglomeration of external speakers, pillows and laptop cooling apparatuses to prop up our hapless "portable" computers as we wallow in our Snuggies and fat free comfort foods  (engadget.com)	(72)
		Wife who stole £470,000 to pay for her dream wedding gets two years in jail. Husband gets life sentence  (dailymail.co.uk)	(120)

The Nexus One review: Stick with the iPhone  (engadget.com)

(96)

Husband given ultimatum by wife: It's me or the Orc  (thescottishsun.co.uk)

(336)

Facade: Tiger Woods takes time off to work on 'being a better husband, father and person.' Reality: Tiger and bimbo #1 Rachel Uchitel, are spotted holding hands at a Palm Beach party  (nydailynews.com)

(97)

Woman chokes her husband for not sleeping in the bedroom with her (w/ "I'd cuddle that" mugshot)  (nwfdailynews.com)

(112)

10 things husbands shouldn't do, as written by a self-important, jobless wench with bad hair  (shine.yahoo.com)

(lots)

Woman calls 911 because her husband won't eat dinner, likely because the husband is trying to avoid having to call 911 for eating it  (news.yahoo.com)

(39)

		Brittany Murphy's husband calls drug, anorexia rumors 'crazy'. Because 'she was 32 and just died in the shower for no apparent reason' sounds SO much more sensible  (abcnews.go.com)	(106)
		Teresa Heinz says she's fighting breast cancer. Warns her husband not to take any pointers from John Edwards unless he wants a fourth purple heart  (news.yahoo.com)	(44)

Tori Amos has a vicious relationship with her husband. In other news, Tori Amos is not a lesbian  (contactmusic.com)

(80)

Bucyrus to buy Terexs' unit for $1.3 billion, marking the most expensive prison husband exchange in history  (reuters.com)

(9)

		Andy Kaufman feared that his success would be fleeting and took on a second job as a busboy. Conan O'Brien, perhaps taking notes from Kaufman, is now picking up shifts at Best Buy  (examiner.com)	(22)
		No, the local Kinko's is not going to print those naked pictures of young children for you  (consumerist.com)	(369)

(Some Guy)

"Hello, this is the Sheriff's office. Your husband is about to come home drunk with a gun and catch you with the pool boy. Just, you know, FYI."  (kxly.com)

(59)

Consultants compare iPhone owners who defend its shortcomings to hostages experiencing Stockholm Syndrome  (news.cnet.com)

(137)

Rent-A-Husband founder faces fraud filing. Female customers thought they were getting something other than a guy who would just arrive, open a beer, watch sports, and hog the remote  (wcsh6.com)

(40)

Wasn't "Julie and Julia" just an awesome love story? Now the author has a follow-up: She cheated on her loyal husband by having an S&M affair and then became a butcher  (online.wsj.com)

(47)

Amy Winehouse will not remarry her estranged ex-husband, marking the first time she's done something sensible in over three years  (contactmusic.com)

(12)

Banks discover that consumers are reducing credit card use, turning to debit cards instead. Banks are so pleased that they invent new fees and restrictions to celebrate  (money.cnn.com)

(57)

Heidi Klum officially takes husband Seal's last name, will now be known as Heidi    (nydailynews.com)

(51)

Proving that she absolutely cannot overcome any sort of addiction whatsoever, Amy Winehouse announced plans to remarry her ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. That's all, folks  (contactmusic.com)

(36)

(macon.com)

Trial near for woman accused of dismembering husband now that prosecutors have the put pieces of their case together  (macon.com)

(39)

		Indian woman divorces husband after he banned her from watching soap operas. Her plans now involve falling in love with a mysterious doctor who will later turn out to be her previous husband's long lost half-brother  (telegraph.co.uk)	(70)
		When it comes to killing your husband, third time is the charm. Oh, wait. Scratch that  (sun-sentinel.com)	(37)