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Headlines matching 'UBS'
Fri February 10, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(UPI) Cool World's largest collection of rare liquors on sale for $8 million. In completely unrelated news, TotalFark subscriptions to rise to $10/month for some damn reason  (upi.com) (9)


Thu February 09, 2012
(The New York Times) PSA Credit Suisse reports firste losse in three yearse  (dealbook.nytimes.com) (4)
(The Sun) Sad Drilled through the heart, and you're to blame. You give mayonnaise tubs a bad name  (thesun.co.uk) (37)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Sad Sprint gained, that's right, Sprint gained a net 1.6 million customers last quarter, the best result in 6 years, giving them their highest subscriber base ever. And Sprint lost 1.3 billion dollars last quarter  (techcrunch.com) (36)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle is making substantial progress toward becoming a five-sport city  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (176)
(CNBC) Fail UBS Q1 doesn't fit. Flip it over Q2, still doesn't fit. Flip it over again Q3. Now it fits  (cnbc.com) (7)


Mon February 06, 2012
(RealClearPolitics) Fail Question: Why have college tuitions gone up? Joe Biden Answer: Government subsidies like the ones President Obama wants to expand  (realclearpolitics.com) (149)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Some Mississippi Museum) Cool Meet the grandpappy of today's narco-subs, a Prohibition Era one-man whiskey runner powered by a Model T engine  (exploresouthernhistory.com) (19)


Thu February 02, 2012
(News.com.au) Fail Facebook will soon offer a "Premium Subscription Service" that will offer you more, and better ads. Now who wouldn't want that?  (news.com.au) (73)
(Some Fake Agent) Florida Apparently, the idea of pretending to be a federal agent and pulling people with Ontario plates who visit strip clubs so you can check their car for bombs hasn't gotten old in Hudson  (newportrichey.wtsp.com) (37)
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious Remember back in 2009 after the economy shiat the bed and the experts said Americans had learned how to be frugal again? Well, we're back to buying expensive lattes and renewing magazine subscriptions  (mnn.com) (104)


Tue January 31, 2012
(New York Daily News) Stupid Facebook Subscribe: Now with free porn  (nydailynews.com) (8)


Thu January 26, 2012
(NPR) Stupid Substantive policy driven interview with Ron Paul. Well, the first half anyway, the rest is about the probable, not very likely, but not ruled out, 3rd party candidacy, that may or may not be under consideration that is off the table  (npr.org) (24)
(Herald-Leader) Amusing Penguin defecates on state senate floor. It passed unanimously after being mistaken for a $43 million subsidy for a creationist theme park  (kentucky.com) (31)


Wed January 25, 2012
(Break) Amusing Kramer discovers dubstep  (break.com) (34)


Tue January 24, 2012
(io9) Sappy Ugly ass baby bear cubs sound just like ugly ass baby humans  (io9.com) (23)


Sun January 22, 2012
(YouTube) Amusing A Capella Dubstep  (youtube.com) (48)


Fri January 20, 2012
(MSNBC) Sappy Best video of a German shepherd nursing three ugly ass white tiger cubs you'll see before Caturday  (msnbc.msn.com) (9)
(WYCB) Strange Door to door magazine salesman forces woman to either do drugs or buy forty subscriptions to Vibe  (wcyb.com) (34)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Joystiq) Asinine This is not the unsubscribe link you're looking for  (massively.joystiq.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Scary After a Tibetan set himself on fire in protest, witnesses say the Chinese police tried to put out the flames. Using clubs spiked with nails  (asiaone.com) (64)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Not news: Judge spares teenage burglar from prison time and congratulates him because he had "got off his backside to work". Fark: The teen clubs baby seals to death for a living  (dailymail.co.uk) (79)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Mirror.co.uk) Followup That woman with two vaginas? Yeah, she visits sex clubs with her husband, can do rare QVDA  (mirror.co.uk) (157)
(YouTube) Amusing The only dubstep I'll ever love is a master of karate and friendship for everyone  (youtube.com) (18)


Wed January 11, 2012
(YouTube) Video Dubstep (and a half dozen other genres) explained in under 3 minutes  (youtube.com) (75)
(BBC) Interesting Experts point out "unhealthy correlation" between building of skyscrapers, subsequent financial crashes  (bbc.co.uk) (38)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail I don't know what the hell a "dubstep" is but apparently it's making an album with Justin Bieber  (entertainmentwise.com) (159)


Sun January 08, 2012
(UPI) Fail Moody's downgrades Illinois from Bears to Cubs  (upi.com) (33)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Starlin Castro's attorney says the accusations his client raped anyone are "baseless." Just like a standard Cubs game  (chicagotribune.com) (8)
(northwestohio) Cool Ugly ass tiger cubs greet visitors for the first time at the Toledo Zoo. (w/ video) Ugly assfecta in play  (northwestohio.com) (19)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Scientific American) Obvious Newt Gingrich named geekiest GOP presidential candidate by Scientific American; promptly cancels his subscription and starts subscribing to Discover  (scientificamerican.com) (49)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting In 2011, Sirius XM added 1.7 million subscribers who have obviously never heard of an iPod  (hollywoodreporter.com) (112)
(MSNBC) Weird "Cops: Colorado woman punches, rubs her buttocks against $30 million painting." Everybody's a critic  (msnbc.msn.com) (43)


Tue January 03, 2012
(BusinessWeek) Fail *sad trombone*  (businessweek.com) (35)
(Washington Post) Interesting Congress wins Washington Post's praise by doing nothing, which let electric vehicle tax credit, subsidies for ethanol expire  (washingtonpost.com) (194)


Mon January 02, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Dancers say strip clubs owe them $324,000. To be paid fully in one dollar bills  (adn.com) (49)


Sun January 01, 2012
(BBC) Interesting British government considers limiting subsidized housing to people making under $150,000 per year  (bbc.co.uk) (33)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Some Guy) Obvious Sam's Club, home of the 40 gallon mayonnaise drum, enormous barrels of pickles, and 50 pound sacks of deep-fried frozen meat substitute nuggets, will now offer health screenings. First recommendation from doctors will be STOP SHOPPING HERE  (wfaa.com) (75)
(Daily Mail) Amusing 'I hate the Cubs!' Die-hard White Sox fan, six, goes wild when parents give her a Cubs gift as Christmas joke  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)


Wed December 28, 2011
(NFL.com) Spiffy Congrats to rookies A.J Green, Von Miller, and Patrick Peterson for making the pro bowl. Now it's time to discuss the snubs. Subby will start off by mentioning London Fletcher  (nfl.com) (201)
(Yahoo) Followup Morgan Stanley laying off 580. Maybe more of them should have jumped in 2008  (finance.yahoo.com) (20)


Mon December 26, 2011
(Wired) Cool There are ideas adrift in the luminiferous ether that miasmas and other such substances simply don't exist  (wired.com) (25)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Fail Let's check in and see how things are going for Kentucky's taxpayer-subsidized creationist themepark   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (275)
(ESPN) Strange UK anti-doping agency warns that athletes who eat too much liver may test positive for a banned substance and not be allowed to participâté in the London Olympics  (sports.espn.go.com) (25)
(Major League Baseball) Strange Cubs and Reds to swap left-handed pitchers in the most sinister deal in baseball history  (mlb.mlb.com) (41)


Thu December 22, 2011
(YouTube) Amusing Sure, North Korea may be a totalitarian communist regime with nuclear ambitions and a population that's starving, but MAN they can dubstep  (youtube.com) (30)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Wimp) Video It's a dubstep Christmas  (wimp.com) (65)
(TMZ) Followup All of Ryan Braun's fans can breath a sigh of relief. His positive test result for a banned substance was caused by "medication he was taking for a private medical issue" and not performance enhancing drugs  (tmz.com) (94)
(Boston.com) Amusing Colorado company is making Tebrew Beer in honor of Broncos QB Tim Tebow. And just like Tebow, the beer is said to be all foam, no substance  (boston.com) (30)


Sun December 18, 2011
(Salon) Obvious In terms of pop culture, 2011 was really just 1991 with more tattoos and less substance  (salon.com) (89)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Yahoo) Obvious You know, that's exactly what I'd expect the CEO of The New York Times to look like  (news.yahoo.com) (66)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting JetBlue paying $1.03 billion for 86 Pratt & Whitney jet engines. Officials say customers should notice substantially less noise while waiting five hours to get off the tarmac  (businessweek.com) (8)


Thu December 15, 2011
(CNN) Interesting Playboy magazine moving from Chicago to Los Angeles. Circulation office now nearer to their 12 subscribers  (money.cnn.com) (58)
(YouTube) Cool 20-year-old makes awesome melodic dubstep. Try it out if you like chill electronic. Not affiliated, just like the tunes  (youtube.com) (95)


Wed December 14, 2011
(Daily Mail) Obvious Substitute teacher cries out to God after, during affair with 15-year-old boy  (dailymail.co.uk) (111)


Sat December 10, 2011
(io9) Cool Ten great gift ideas for the ten major subsets of science fiction fans  (io9.com) (62)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Some Guy) Cool Inventors of a new revolutionary substance claim that it can keep things from getting wet. For generations married men knew of this substance, and called it wedding cake  (digg.com) (57)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy S&P's chief credit officer downgraded from "employed" to "fired". This leaves him at "junk" status and available for assignment to the Chicago Cubs  (bloomberg.com) (7)


Thu December 08, 2011
(TMZ) Interesting WAR ready to declare themselves after Rock and Roll Hall of Fame snubs them in favor of the Beastie Boys  (tmz.com) (152)


Wed December 07, 2011
(The Inquirer) Cool Hacker already ports Android 4.0.1 to hacked Kindle Fire. Thanks for the subsidized tablet Amazon  (theinquirer.net) (34)


Fri December 02, 2011
(CBC) Followup Not only will apple juice kill you with arsenic, it will also make you fat. Fark's previous recommendation of substituting beer continues with additional oomph  (cbc.ca) (55)
(YouTube) Asinine Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape  (youtube.com) (138)
(Gawker) Interesting A guide to 3-Grammy-nominated Skrillex and Dubstep music for the 'Get off my lawn' crowd  (gawker.com) (184)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Chicago Tribune) Cool In his first move as Cubs GM, Epstein signs DeJesus to a 2 year deal. This is not a repeat from 1977  (chicagotribune.com) (36)
(YouTube) Amusing Herman Cain - Bad Lip Reading - Everybody Needs Toucan Stubs  (youtube.com) (27)


Wed November 30, 2011
(NYPost) Asinine Due to the national economic downturn, NYC upgrades critical, deteriorated, substandard highway in danger of collapse to safe and reliable  (nypost.com) (39)


Tue November 29, 2011
(ESPN) Sad Greg Maddux is leaving the Cubs. This is not a repeat from 1992, 2006  (espn.go.com) (31)
(Whatever) Spiffy Not news: Hugo winning author John Scalzi live tweets while rewatching LoTR trilogy. Still not news: Asks for dubsteb remix of Smeagol fish battering scene. Fark: Gets it the next day  (whatever.scalzi.com) (79)


Mon November 28, 2011
(Yahoo) Obvious Houston Astros fire their GM Ed Wade. Subsequently, the Philadelphia Phillies lose the most productive level in their farm system  (sports.yahoo.com) (23)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Bloomberg) Interesting Wall Street Unoccupied  (bloomberg.com) (42)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Early vote count has Spain's center-right party winning that country's parliamentary election. For those of you playing in the US, substitute "far-left, socialist, communist, pinko party"  (uk.news.yahoo.com) (97)


Sat November 19, 2011
(Huffington Post) Cool Great news: Arrested Development is coming back. Now the bad news: if you want to see it you'll have to subscribe to Netflix's streaming service  (huffingtonpost.com) (87)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Chicago Tribune) Fail Cubs offer managerial job to Brewers coach Dave Sveum. Because if there's one team worse than the Cubs, it's the Brewers  (chicagotribune.com) (42)


Mon November 14, 2011
(Huffington Post) Obvious Noted liberal mouthpiece Sen. Tom Coburn: "From tax write-offs for gambling losses, vacation homes, and luxury yachts to subsidies for their ranches and estates, the government is subsidizing the lifestyles of the rich and famous"  (huffingtonpost.com) (127)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Yahoo) Fail UBS safely removes asset backed securities, gives up after five minutes and just ejects it forcefully  (finance.yahoo.com) (4)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Telegraph) Silly Masai village dubs Prince Charles "he whom the cows love". Camilla seen stamping hoof jealously  (telegraph.co.uk) (53)


Fri November 04, 2011
(Bloomberg) Obvious Greek shocker stiffens Irish resolve. Wouldn't a Greek shocker be three in the stink?  (bloomberg.com) (22)


Wed November 02, 2011
(ESPN) Followup Chicago Cubs fire Quade, start the reactor  (espn.go.com) (36)


Sat October 29, 2011
(AP) Stupid US Border Patrol stops routinely searching buses, trains and airports for illegal immigrants at transportation hubs along the northern border that's been great for tracking down people here illegally. Psst: It's now ok, illegals  (hosted.ap.org) (121)


Fri October 28, 2011
(LiveLeak) Amusing Anchorwoman lipdubs anchorman  (liveleak.com) (23)
(Reuters) Spiffy Man revived after being clinically dead for 63 minutes, subsequently bites rescuers and stumbles off in search of brains  (reuters.com) (15)


Tue October 25, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Netflix lost 800,000 subscribers in the 3rd quarter fo this year-But their earnings rose 65%. So maybe they didn't need your whiny, entitled, account-sharing ass as much as you thought  (news.yahoo.com) (167)


Mon October 24, 2011
(Bloomberg) Cool Swiss banks drop the "secret" from their bank accounts. Let's see if the Top 1% in the U.S. notice, because the IRS sure as hell will  (bloomberg.com) (25)


Sun October 23, 2011
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Singer for Twizted arrested for pot. Apparently being a hip hop clown does not pay well as it was at the Days Inn in Tampa near the nude dance clubs. Bonus freaky mugshot  (tampabay.com) (24)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Some Guy) Followup It's official. Chicago Cubs hire Theo Epstein. Kotter jokes to the right  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (58)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy DNA Clearinghouse receives giant novelty check for $6.5 million, 14 years of unwanted magazine subscriptions  (physorg.com) (4)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting There's no sex in the Champagne Room, unless you go to the strip clubs in South Atlanta  (ajc.com) (46)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Bloomberg) Interesting UBS may cut Jobs, possibly in retaliation to Thunderbolt  (bloomberg.com) (6)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Boing Boing) Spiffy 'Occupy George': Print data about US wealth disparity on one dollar bills and spread the information. Subby volunteers to raise class consciousness in Portland's strip clubs  (boingboing.net) (184)


Tue October 18, 2011
(TMZ) Amusing Soulja Boy arrested for "substantial amount" of marijuana. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU can see his mugshot here  (tmz.com) (58)


Mon October 17, 2011
(ESPN) Interesting Unnamed Premier League club has performed DNA tests on its soccer players to differentiate between the ones that will merely be blown over by a stiff breeze and the ones that will subsequently break an ankle when they land  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (56)
(Marketwatch) Fail Schroders cut to neutral. Good grief, even pigpen caught a break every now and then  (marketwatch.com) (6)

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