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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Nearly 1 in 20 U.S. adults over 50 has fake knees; no stats available yet on the number of sharp knees  (news.yahoo.com)	(46)
(Bert & Ernie)		"Sunny Day, sweeping the Taliban away." U.S. turns to Sesame Street to influence Pakistan  (courier-journal.com)	(6)
		North Korea reacts to new U.S. marshmallow cannon  (collegehumor.com)	(4)

		U.S. House passes the STOCK Act insider trading bill, without all those pesky insider trading provisions  (huffingtonpost.com)	(91)
		U.S. economic embargo of Cuba turns 50. Canadians light up a Cohiba in our honor  (usatoday.com)	(133)
		New study says one in ten U.S. adults looks like Kevin Federline  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)	(22)

Long-term impact of globalism? In the future, all U.S. legislation will include references to Monty Python skits  (rawstory.com)

(62)

(Some Guy)		According to Canada Free Press, this is the U.S. Constitution's last chance unless constitutionalists rally behind Rick Santorum  (canadafreepress.com)	(81)
		Why the U.S. Constitution is the Windows 3.1 of constitutions  (nytimes.com)	(335)

		Superbowl XLVI becomes the most watched show in U.S. TV history with 111.3 million viewers. Suck it Superbowl XLV  (hitfix.com)	(46)
		ACLU demands information on drone strikes against U.S. citizens. Coming up next: ACLU headquarters under attack by drones   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(71)

(Some Guy)

Obama's Dilemma: how to dissuade Israel from bombing Iran without alienating pro-Israeli voters in November. So, the Obama admin has told Israel that the U.S. won't support an attack on Iran... quietly  (ipsnews.net)

(247)

Miami named most miserable U.S. city by panel of judges who have never been to Hartford  (old.news.yahoo.com)

(115)

U.S. manufacturing activity gains in January. In related news, apparently there is still some U.S. manufacturing activity  (upi.com)

(50)

Backlash: Osama Bin Laden death photos may be released after all. Judicial Watch has sued for release of the materials under Freedom of Information Law, and they apparently have a case  (nydailynews.com)

(237)

Economies of midwest states, particularly Michigan, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania, have improved faster than the rest of the U.S. since 2009. Not that this fact has any particular relevance in this particular year  (bloomberg.com)

(171)

		How do U.S. Army troops boost morale during long Afghan winters? With a little naked sledding (not really sfw)  (liveleak.com)	(19)
		Tourism tip: If you're planning a visit to the U.S., don't tweet about your plans to "destroy America" or dig up Marilyn Monroe  (thesun.co.uk)	(131)

Canadian orange juice banned in U.S. What's next, Mexican maple syrup?  (money.cnn.com)

(68)

		Why did the U.S. drop nuclear bombs on Spain?  (boingboing.net)	(76)
(Some Guy)		The real U.S. GDP growth for 2011 is just 1.7 percent, compared with an increase of 3.0 percent in 2010. Yes, strong economic recovery indeed  (businessinsider.com)	(77)

		Old and busted: U.S. missile shield. New hotness: European asteroid shield  (spiegel.de)	(24)
		Son of U.S. Transportation Secretary will not be allowed to leave Egypt, according to Egyptian officials hoping to get Seal Team 6's autographs  (news.nationalpost.com)	(44)
		Remember when "Made in the U.S.A." was a sign of quality? Turns out it still is  (space.com)	(58)
		They told you you'd get over it. Welcome back to Netflix, schmuck  (usatoday.com)	(129)
		It's FARK word problem time: If a four-year-old boy pulls nine bags of weed out of his jacket pocket and hands them over to his teacher, how many of those nine bags will make it to the police evidence room?  (reuters.com)	(43)

George Soros predicts class warfare in the U.S....adding, "Excellleeennnntt"  (dailymail.co.uk)

(82)

Paul Martin calls on Stephen Harper to admit mistake. Stephen Harper calls on Paul Martin to unify quantum physics with general relativity, balance the U.S. budget, and battle his evil double from an alternate reality to the death first  (canada.com)

(42)

The amazing soccer weekend continue - U.S. beats Venezuela 1-0 on goal in 97th minute. First win over South American team in 5 years (w/video)  (deadspin.com)

(28)

US Army officer confirms that team of US commandos are nearing the Iranian border. Also adds that they will cross the border at 32°11' 4" N by 53°5'12" E at exactly 11:34 Zulu right near that great ambush spot  (news.yahoo.com)

(67)

(Naked Security)		U.K. citizen running TVShack.net based in the U.K. arrested in the U.K. for breaking U.S. copyright law. Wait, what?  (nakedsecurity.sophos.com)	(52)
		The Daily Mail recognizes Fark as one of the sites that protested SOPA and PIPA. BLIMEY  (dailymail.co.uk)	(4)
		U.S. joins effort to create international space code of conduct. Will propose rule #1 to be no wearing of astronaut diapers while driving cross country to kidnap a romantic rival  (google.com)	(28)
		Average age of U.S. autos now two years older than length of average marriage. As expected, both eventually will be replaced with newer models having less mileage  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(128)

		About one million American homeowners would get writedowns in the size of their mortgages under a proposed deal with banks over shady foreclosure practices  (news.yahoo.com)	(72)
(GigaOM)		Now that iPhone is finally available on all three major carriers, iOS marketshare in the US has just jumped from 25.1% in October to 44.5% in December. See, they didn't need to sue everyone into submission after all  (gigaom.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		Cuba takes lead over U.S. in Civil Rights by considering gay marriage. What's next in Bizzaroworld? Bay of Pigs in America? That would probably be Rosie O'Donnell's pool  (globalpost.com)	(30)
		The good news: we really aren't getting any fatter. The bad news: we really aren't getting any skinnier, either  (reuters.com)	(27)

		US Government: "ImportError: No module named python"  (bloomberg.com)	(61)
		New York Giants-New England Patriots Super Bowl matchup would be the most-watched show in the history of U.S. television, as audiences long for a Brady going against a Manning  (bloomberg.com)	(120)

(politicususa)

U.S. Office of Personnel Management crunches the numbers. If you're a Reagan/Bush small government conservative you're not going to like the result  (politicususa.com)

(202)

NASA image showing every tree in the U.S.. Kinda sparse there in the middle  (gizmodo.com)

(97)

		U.S. efforts in Afghanistan finally beginning to bear fruit as opium profits jump 133%, now comprise 9% of country's GDP. USA USA USA  (cbsnews.com)	(96)
		Chinese applications to U.S. colleges up 23%. Desperate American students quickly work on their ability to hit a 30 foot jump shot  (behindthewall.msnbc.msn.com)	(43)
		India marks one year since its last polio case. Now if we could only get that whole vaccination thing going here in the US  (cbsnews.com)	(13)

		Video apparently shows U.S. Marines urinating on bodies of dead Taliban fighters. Naturally, some people are pissed off about this  (telegraph.co.uk)	(295)
		Fidel Castro endorses a robot for President of the United States, completely unaware of the 58% chance of a fatal robot attack  (blogs.villagevoice.com)	(44)
		U.S. Army chaplains fingered for military sexual assaults  (csmonitor.com)	(55)

I'm not saying Iran brought down the American RQ-170 spy drone with flying saucers and force fields... but it was flying saucers and force fields  (wired.com)

(87)

		Feds uncover suspected Islamic extremist plot to bomb Tampa; Newsflash and Florida tags dive for cover  (ctv.ca)	(295)
		U.S. automakers finally now considered a stable, growing business. This is not a repeat from 1908  (reuters.com)	(39)

(Some Guy)

Romney claims the U.S. is "inches away from no longer being a free economy." Politifact throws gasoline on Romney's pants, flicks a match in his direction  (politifact.com)

(279)

In the wake of the US saving their sailors from pirates, Iran ups the rhetoric and threatens full-scale war, nuclear devastation, and....wait, they said thankyou? And Fox reported it? What is this i don't even  (foxnews.com)

(95)

The most vain city in the US is Miami, though it's followed closely by Chicago, whose residents dip their hats strategically below one eye and wear apricot scarfs  (travel.usatoday.com)

(78)

		Gingrich: "I represent a genuine insurgency." Apparently didn't get the memo explaining how the U.S. deals with insurgents  (foxnews.com)	(43)
		Nutritionist says France should tackle child obesity by giving slim children better grades. Educators scoff at idea for U.S. saying it would only improve grades of three kids  (reuters.com)	(30)

(Some Guy)		Teen girl missing since 2010 turns up in Colombia. FARK: She was deported by ICE. DOUBLE FARK: She's a U.S. citizen, black, and speaks no Spanish  (wfaa.com)	(264)
		U.S. engages Muslim Brotherhood. Not that there's anything wrong with that  (nytimes.com)	(32)

Iran to U.S. Navy: Keep your fleet out of the Persian Gulf, or we'll publish pictures of us sinking your ships. U.S. Navy: That'd be one hell of a Photoshop job  (reuters.com)

(512)

		Australian researcher gets test subjects to wear the same pair of jeans for three months straight without washing, a phenomenon we in the U.S. call "college"  (news.com.au)	(67)
		Colorado becomes fourth state to petition U.S. government to reclassify marijuana  (edition.cnn.com)	(89)

How to make U.S. schools world class again  (theatlantic.com)

(476)

(Some Guy)

Paintings and drawings by U.S. soldiers from WW I to the present. 114 pics. No slideshow  (cracktwo.com)

(58)

U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit rules that police on the street can't simply PUT A KNIFE TO YOUR GENITALS  (blogs.wsj.com)

(39)

(Torrent Freak)

Over 800 IP addresses assigned to the U.S. House of Representatives used for illegal torrent sharing  (torrentfreak.com)

(88)

U.S. sends the Iranians a little message about closing the strategic Strait of Hormuz if the West imposes sanctions. The U.S. Navy's 5th Fleet  (news.yahoo.com)

(363)

The U.S. Department of Defense is evaluating a proposal to distribute an airborne virus which turns off genes causing religious fundamentalism, effectively vaccinating a population against religious belief  (youtube.com)

(111)

		Cash is King: The Obama administration appears to have softened a U.S. ban on Internet gambling  (news.yahoo.com)	(56)
		Worrying: You are commanding a US Navy vessel and maneuver to avoid hitting a trawler. Bad: You don't see the freighter now in your path: Embarrassing: The freighter sees you and moves out of the way: Fark: You are in a sub  (ca.news.yahoo.com)	(123)

(Some Guy)		Compared to nearly bankrupt U.S. car companies, BMW, Mercedes and VW make twice as many cars, pay twice the hourly wages and remain profitable. Bu-bu-bu SOCIALISM  (remappingdebate.org)	(136)
		Assange may face spy charges after lawyers claim he 'coached' U.S. traitor on breaking military computer passwords  (dailymail.co.uk)	(114)

One recent poll found that 84% of U.S. adults claim they'd prayed in the past week. This might be impressive if we knew they weren't praying to win the lottery or to be hung like Ron Jeremy  (newsmax.com)

(93)

		After years of insomnia-based all nighters, Chinese hackers discover the secret to restful sleep. They break into US Chamber of Commerce policy statement discussions  (foxnews.com)	(11)
		Claus challenged by U.S., other nations for widespread child privacy violations, considered a flight risk  (huffingtonpost.com)	(15)

There is a 1 in 3 chance that your special little snowflake will become a criminal  (cbsnews.com)

(99)

		Eight years, seven months and 25 days after the U.S. invasion of Iraq began, the final and 4,474th U.S. service member was killed by a roadside bomb  (washingtonpost.com)	(220)
		It's not even 2012, but the majority of America wishes the presidential election campaign was over with  (gallup.com)	(120)
		T-Mobile to AT&T: "Thanks for the free billions, suckers" AT&T to their execs: "Here are your millions in bonuses, so that you won't leave. ;)"  (businessweek.com)	(31)

		About 20 seconds after the last U.S. HMMWV crossed into Kuwait, Iraq's Prime Minister launched a coup to take full control of the country. Mission Accomplished  (miamiherald.com)	(179)
(Some Guy)		Anonymous releases a massive information dump on every U.S. Senator that voted for NDAA  (freakoutnation.com)	(287)
		David and Victoria Beckham may be leaving the U.S. permanently. Best. Christmas present. Evar  (dailymail.co.uk)	(29)

(Some Guy)

Your tax dollars at work: The U.S. is forcing the Navy to buy 450,000 gallons of jet biofuel at $15 a gallon, or about four times the market price of conventional jet fuel  (blog.heritage.org)

(166)

(Some Hair)

Phil Spector appealing murder conviction to the U.S. Supreme Court on grounds that the prosecution violated his constitutional, Fark Newsflash rights  (wfaa.com)

(18)

The real dirty little secret is that the economy is actually doing okay  (thedailybeast.com)

(184)

Hate to drone on about the erosion of civil liberties in the U.S. but local police forces are starting to use them  (latimes.com)

(222)

		Attorney General Eric Holder says the 'Fast and Furious' guns will probably continue to show up at crime scenes in the U.S. and Mexico "for years to come." Ummm, thanks Mr. Holder  (foxnews.com)	(78)
		Confirmed: Newly acquired documents show that the Obama Administration intended to use the covert gunwalker operation "Fast and Furious" to argue for controversial new laws regulating U.S. gun sales  (cbsnews.com)	(765)
		Air Force admits that they buried far more ashes of U.S. servicemen in a landfill than previously acknowledged. Oops, sorry families, their bad again  (washingtonpost.com)	(72)

		Mystery company quietly buying up U.S. gun manufacturers. Uh-oh  (sfgate.com)	(66)
		Iranian military photoshops out U.S. drone  (news.yahoo.com)	(260)

(Some Guy)		63 Percent of Illegal Aliens have Resided in the U.S. 10 Years or More. The illegals don't need to be "brought out of the shadows" because they live and work openly  (pewhispanic.org)	(161)
(Some Guy)		7/4/1776 - 12/2/2011 R.I.P, the U.S. Constitution. It was nice while it lasted  (newsvoice.se)	(500)

		U.S. Marines given go-ahead to shoot at Segway riders  (wired.com)	(113)
		Here's an article about the careless use of the race card in the U.S. written by some pasty white bigoted racist  (forbes.com)	(71)
		If elected, Jon Huntsman would be the first U.S. president with an Emmy  (washingtonpost.com)	(14)
(abc)		New U.S. study says average male is 196 pounds, and average woman is 160 pounds. Americans continue to throw their weight around  (abclocal.go.com)	(89)

		Bachmann says she would close the non-existent U.S. embassy in Iran  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(175)
		Sen. Jim De Mint (R-ong time, wrong place) is holding up nomination of the U.S. ambassador to El Salvador because he doesn't like her pro-LGBT tolerance opinion pieces  (thecable.foreignpolicy.com)	(90)

		Survey lists world's Top 10 cities in terms of "Quality of Living." Zero in the U.S., 1 in America Jr., 1 in Australia's own Canada, 1 where they make porn, and 7 in places where they talk like the villians in old WWII movies  (shine.yahoo.com)	(274)
(Viral Footage)		CNN Interviews Prank Caller Posing as U.S. Student Who Was Arrested in Cairo  (viralfootage.com)	(19)

(Some Guy)

The first operating U.S. nuclear plant shut down because of an earthquake has reopened to glowing reviews  (wtkr.com)

(40)

U.S. Flag Code, updated: To avoid contact with the flag, it is permissible to grind your pelvis into the buttocks of nearby persons, using your hands to grasp their waist as needed  (nj.com)

(54)

		Teen burglar's apology letter to victims may be even greater trolling attempt than this headline, the U.S. Constitution  (news.nationalpost.com)	(149)
		Moody's threatens to downgrade America's credit rating. American threatens to downgrade Moody's to "smoldering pile of rubble"  (businessweek.com)	(52)

Former AIG CEO sues the U.S. Taxpayers for spending $182 billion saving his pathetic company  (cnbc.com)

(91)

New report says the best form of birth control is: A) oral contraceptive B) vasectomy C) U.S. economy  (chicagotribune.com)

(48)

Fifty years / By junta ruled / Now reformed / Or U.S. fooled?  (cbsnews.com)

(70)

		U.S. Announces it has weaponized a basement dweller  (washingtonpost.com)	(14)
		U.S. busts pre-IPO tech scam. So, LinkedIn and Angie's List are getting pulled?  (physorg.com)	(9)
		The U.S. banking industry has been in bed with the Euro so much it's starting to look like we might have caught something. Let's just hope there's a shot or an ointment or something for this  (bloomberg.com)	(35)

		Discovery channel drops its pants and bends over for the Tea Party  (dailymail.co.uk)	(93)
		One in five U.S. adults takes medication for a mental disorder. "I'll drink to that", said the other four  (latimes.com)	(209)
		You know that US Grand Prix coming to Texas? Turns out it was all hat, no cattle  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(53)

The U.S. trade deficit narrows to lowest point of year at $43.1 billion with record exports of American autos, heavy machinery, jobs  (washingtonpost.com)

(21)

		U.S. government investigators say counterfeit parts flooding the Pentagon supply chain are a "ticking time bomb." Guess which country they're coming from, go on guess  (hosted.ap.org)	(158)
(KOLD - Tucson)		Number of men living with their parents in the U.S. has jumped from "moderate" to "Italian"  (kold.com)	(146)
		The U.S. is so vulnerable to cyberattacks that we would get our fruity asses handed to us if we went to war with the Axis of Evil  (physorg.com)	(28)

FastRetailingmaybuyrivals   (bloomberg.com)

(1)

		Oakland Police put another Vet into intensive care  (news.yahoo.com)	(618)
		Why daylight savings time should be abolished: It cuts into my drinking time  (blogs.scientificamerican.com)	(185)
		East Coast reporter takes advantage of offer to ship two In-N-Out burgers to anywhere in the U.S. overnight, finds out the food isn't worth the $56 he spent. "Reheat and consume at your own risk"  (cnbc.com)	(216)

Bad idea: hiring actors to play "Taliban" giving up their arms, to impress the U.S. ambassador. Fark: forgetting to tell U.S. security  (kansascity.com)

(13)

Eight random Americans asked what they think about Korean girl group Girls' Generation, whose first U.S. album dropped this week. 30-year-old guy: "Midriffs are always appreciated"  (cnngo.com)

(93)

		The Federal Reserve slashes its forecast for economic growth, raises projections for unemployment, and says Europe's debt crisis will probably wreck the U.S. economy. In uplifting economic news: *crickets*  (reuters.com)	(37)
		U.S. banks are at fire sale levels. We don't need no water, let the motherfarker burn  (cnbc.com)	(33)

Remember the social media organized uprisings in the Mideast hailed by the U.S. for bringing democracy there? The DHS develops guidelines for culling intel from social media sites in case something like that should happen here  (boingboing.net)

(64)

Mission still not accomplished: U.S. plans post-Iraq troop increase in Persian Gulf including new combat forces in Kuwait capable of re-invading Iraq just as soon as their government collapses  (nytimes.com)

(337)

Facebook use now cited in one of every five U.S. divorces. In other news, 4 out of 5 spouses still secretly getting poked  (yourtango.com)

(121)

U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara prosecutes ex-GS director Rajat Gupta accused of feeding tips to Galleon co-founder Raj Rajaratnam. Man, this outsourcing thing really got out of hand  (businessweek.com)

(58)

		Children in the U.S. are tops in receiving bad marks  (news.discovery.com)	(94)
		Swiss banks drop the "secret" from their bank accounts. Let's see if the Top 1% in the U.S. notice, because the IRS sure as hell will  (bloomberg.com)	(25)
		The largest measles outbreak in over 15 years is the result of unvaccinated children and adults, most of whom are probably affiliated with quack chiropractors  (yourlife.usatoday.com)	(259)
		150 years ago the U.S.'s first social network opened. Status: ...--...--.-.-..--..-..- stop  (dailymail.co.uk)	(83)

		A dozen pharmaceutical companies have given doctors and other healthcare providers more than $760 million over the past two years - and those companies' sales comprise 40 percent of the U.S. market  (cbsnews.com)	(58)
		Median wage in the U.S. now $26,000. Sounds about right for panhandling in the middle of a freeway  (washingtonpost.com)	(411)

U.S. currency used to be covered with science and underboob  (boingboing.net)

(203)

The SSA has released the official statistic of the median American wage in 2010: $26,363.55  (washingtonpost.com)

(265)

		Two-thirds of U.S. workers are either overweight, obese or Farkers  (blogs.wsj.com)	(168)
		The U.S. was so close to using cyberwarfare in attack plan on Libya that the Obama administration was abo___ ****carrier lost****  (nytimes.com)	(29)
(Some Tree Hugger)		5 Bears, 1 Tree  (dailyinterlake.com)	(26)

Lords of finance on Wall Street: Don't you protesters understand what we've done for the U.S. economy? OWS: Short answer, yes  (nytimes.com)

(263)

(Some Guy)

Key Wester chosen the best rum-drink maker in the U.S. What's your best rum drink?  (keysnet.com)

(125)

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