Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Golf.com)		Tiger Woods returning to golf at Masters is perfect timing  (golf.com)	(28)
(Golf.com)		Tiger Woods returning to golf at Masters is just too soon  (golf.com)	(11)

Tiger Woods to return to golf at Mistress ... I mean Masters, Masters  (news.blogs.cnn.com)

(148)

Tiger and Elin show the world that a deep, abiding love of sponsorship money conquers all    (foxnews.com)

(39)

(Some Guy)

"South Park" to open 14th season with episode based on Tiger Woods getting a 7 iron clanked off his chiclets. In other news, SOUTH PARK IS IN ITS 14TH SEASON  (azfamily.com)

(119)

Since Ari Fleischer is helping out Tiger Woods get his tarnished image cleaned up again, let's take a look at some of the other Bush Administration flacks and what they're up to now  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)

(31)

Tiger Woods to make return at the Arnold Palmer Invitational in two weeks, and has hired ex-Bush aide Ari Fleischer for image control  (nypost.com)

(87)

(Some 9-Iron)

Because he has morals, standards, and integrity, Tiger Woods turns down an endorsement offer from an Irish gambling consortium  (digitalspy.com)

(14)

Fresh off not reporting Tiger Woods' mistresses and poor course etiquette, Golf Writers Association of America hopes to report about John Daly's suspension after he tweeted member's cellphone number  (jacksonville.com)

(18)

Gatorade ends relationship with Tiger Woods, string of "Is it in you?" jokes  (money.cnn.com)

(53)

Howard Stern to host first-ever Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant  (orlandosentinel.com)

(118)

Tiger Woods apologizes at pre-school. "Sometimes, when a man loves a woman, and she has fantastic cans, an ass you could carry books on, and a special area blessed by Jesus, boo-boos can happen"  (sports.yahoo.com)

(109)

When asked what he thought about the Tiger Woods scandal, and Tiger's return to Buddhism, the Dalai Lama responded, "Who?" Surprising answer from such a big hitter  (nydailynews.com)

(106)

		If you weren't satisfied with Tiger Woods' apology, here are eight apologies from science fiction heroes that might make you feel better  (io9.com)	(43)
		One for the "KILL IT WITH FIRE" file: Tiger Wood's mistress #2... is missing a tooth  (tmz.com)	(52)

		How does Tiger Woods' apology stand up against other tearful media apologies? Let's compare  (abcnews.go.com)	(126)
		Tiger Woods blames his indiscretions on his huge amount of fame and wealth. Poor guy  (content.usatoday.com)	(155)
		Make your bets now with this Tiger Woods Friday press conference odds sheet  (backporch.fanhouse.com)	(87)

		Happy "Mistress Day" or, as it's known in Tiger Woods' house, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (twice), Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Friday night's for the wife, of course  (nydailynews.com)	(49)
		Tiger Woods' mistress: "I would like an apology." In related news, the weather forecast in Hell isn't calling for snow or aerodynamic pigs  (orlandosentinel.com)	(44)

(NBC Sports)

Nike dropped New Orleans Saints LB Scott Fujita from an endorsement contract he'd had for seven years because they didn't like the way he taped over the swoosh logo  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)

(53)

		Tiger Woods has left sex rehab, now faces a dismal life of having drunken sex on a huge pile of cash with only his beautiful blonde Swedish wife. Poor guy    (radaronline.com)	(48)
		Peyton Manning, idiot savant of football  (slate.com)	(76)
		"There won't be an NFL lockout. If there is, Roger Goodell should be institutionalized, examined by a team of psychiatrists, removed from office and replaced by Pacman Jones"  (msn.foxsports.com)	(43)

(KTLA)

Alleged Tiger Woods mistress upset over novelty golf ball set featuring her face and those of his other conquests. Not the first time their face has been in close proximity to balls  (ktla.com)

(26)

John Mayer: 'Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married'. "If Tiger Woods was single and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat', why would that ever hit the news?"  (nydailynews.com)

(87)

(Ruthless)

Sports stories of the decade, including "18-1," "The End of the Curse," "Roger Federer is a Boring God," and "Charlie Weiss: Charlatan, Con Artist, Fat"  (ruthlessreviews.com)

(52)

		"Men don't cheat because their wives are ugly", they cheat because wives don't put out  (cnn.com)	(472)
(Some 9 Iron)		Mystery Solved: It was Elin in the bedroom with a cell phone. Colonel Mustard too busted to comment  (thedailybeast.com)	(24)

		Chris Brown: "Dude, you know what would be awesome? If you put make-up on your face to look like you were bleeding and beat up, and then we took a photo together."  (thesuperficial.com)	(33)
		What hell hath Cameron wrought?  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(40)

		"Many people would be surprised to learn that the US already has a strong cricketing heritage."  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(61)
		We in the mass media don't have any solid information about Tiger Woods, so here's an article about how we don't have any solid information about Tiger Woods  (abcnews.go.com)	(47)

(justice.gov)		The penalty for placing a Tiger Woods sticker on a Gatorade bottle is 4 years and $450,000  (justice.gov)	(67)
		Tiger Woods sending a hospital to Haiti. No, really  (huffingtonpost.com)	(156)

GM says Tiger Woods won't get free cars anymore because they don't like how he drives with a stick  (sfgate.com)

(69)

Mel Gibson says everyone should back off harassing Tiger Woods 'cause there's more important things happening, like that war in Afghanistan the Jews started  (3news.co.nz)

(182)

Will Brit Hume try to woo Gilbert Arenas from the wickedry of Wizardry into the arms of His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Oops... too late  (content.usatoday.com)

(23)

Scientologists move in on Southern Baptist Convention's home turf. This should end well  (content.usatoday.com)

(105)

		Former NHL coach Pat Burns knows one of the cops initially dispatched to Tiger Woods' home and he says there's a good reason for his disappearing act: Elin blasted him in the face with a 9-iron and he now looks like Sloth from Goonies  (torontosun.com)	(233)
		2010 shaping up to be tough year for Tiger Woods impersonators who appear in commercials and charity golf tournaments  (cnbc.com)	(19)
		EA Games to go ahead with new Tiger Woods game, redesigning 18 holes to look less green, more blonde    (news.com.au)	(39)

Fox News pundit: Tiger Woods can stick his putter in any hole he wants, so long as he converts to Christianity  (rawstory.com)

(273)

		Tracy Morgan seen bursting into sex shop hollering for some "motion lotion," rushed back into his waiting BMW  (nypost.com)	(59)
		AT&T drops Tiger Woods, calls    (sports.espn.go.com)	(35)
		Why Charlie Sheen will get a free pass while Tiger gets crucified  (tvweek.com)	(94)
(Some Guy)		It's Tiger Woods' 34th birthday today. What kind of gifts do you think he'll get?  (media.worldgolf.com)	(62)

		Sportswriter who's made a career writing about the private lives of athletes bemoans sportswriters writing about the private lives of atheletes  (freep.com)	(32)
		The decade's catchphrase list is all good even if its epic fail made me throw up in my mouth a little; at the end of the day it is what it is despite all the push-back 'cause that's how I roll. I'm just sayin'  (slate.com)	(210)
		Facade: Tiger Woods takes time off to work on 'being a better husband, father and person.' Reality: Tiger and bimbo #1 Rachel Uchitel, are spotted holding hands at a Palm Beach party  (nydailynews.com)	(97)

Charlie Sheen's career won't be affected by scandal because everyone already knows he's a douchebag. It's not news, it's CNN  (edition.cnn.com)

(138)

		This just in from the Bureau of Rectal Extraction: Tiger Woods scandal costs shareholders $12B  (blogs.wsj.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		Top ten sports media stories of 2009. One or two are related to actual sporting events  (sportsjournalism.org)	(35)
		With Tiger Woods being dropped from sponsorships left and right, be a good sport and Photoshop him in some new sponsorships  (nydailynews.com)	(53)

(Some Guy)

Tiger Woods offered role in 'Hangover 2'  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk)

(32)

(Some Guy)		LPGA golfer Helen Alfredsson says Tiger's cheating was golf's worst-kept secret, channels Master Yoda with this cryptic piece of wisdom: "In the quietest water swims the ugliest fish." What?  (blogs.golf.com)	(37)
		Columnist afraid of his wife writes that most American men wouldn't have as many affairs as Tiger Woods even if they could because "we're too lazy"  (blog.nj.com)	(199)

		Tiger Woods approval numbers falls in every demographic except cocktail waitresses  (cnn.com)	(50)
		Hide the baby mamas: TMZSports.com to launch in "the next couple months"  (sportsbybrooks.com)	(53)

Report: Motorcade (2 cop cars, 8 police motorcycles) arrive at Tiger Woods estate "to escort Elin out"  (sportsbybrooks.com)

(495)

		How Tiger Woods kept it quiet for so long  (online.wsj.com)	(53)
		Braylon Edwards sued for child support. No doubt, the suit will be dropped  (nypost.com)	(19)
		There has been a Tiger Woods sighting near Houston. Wait what? Oh someone saw a tiger in the woods near Houston. Ohhhhh. Well, I'm sorry. Never mind  (chron.com)	(52)

		Because of Tiger, golfers will turn away from the sport, appalled at the idea that money and hot women are just around the corner  (boston.com)	(95)
		Billy Corgan says he's "very caught up in Jessica Simpson's mystique." Sadly, this will probably inspire a triple-disk box set of really touchy-feely crap  (celebitchy.com)	(48)
		Gloria Allred will be representing at least two of Tiger Woods' mistresses in what could soon become a class action suit  (guardian.co.uk)	(181)
		Even in the face of a sex scandal, Tiger Woods manages to conduct himself with grace and dignity. Just kidding, he's close to cracking up and spends days alone watching cartoons  (thesun.co.uk)	(127)
		Jessica Simpson is suing Star magazine over false reports that she slept with Tiger Woods. So, it looks like we've found her breaking point  (contactmusic.com)	(31)

		Student's bold strokes in a high school art class lands him a jail sentence, sex offender title  (crimeblog.dallasnews.com)	(168)
		Tiger Woods named AP and AshleyMadison.com Player of the Decade  (abcnews.go.com)	(94)
		Since showing up in a news photo of Tiger Woods' wrecked SUV, John Gribbin's book "Get A Grip On Physics" has been selling like hotcakes  (guardian.co.uk)	(47)

		Tiger Woods' doctor under investigation for distributing performance-enhancing drugs. Surprisingly not Viagra  (businessinsider.com)	(111)
		Executive in charge of Accenture Match Play Championship reiterates tourney's no-Tiger-no-refund policy to ticketholders. "We are hoping people are buying a ticket to an event and not an individual"  (azstarnet.com)	(32)

		Nike unconcerned with Tiger's infidelities, note that he's living up to their "Just Do It" slogan better than ever  (guardian.co.uk)	(61)
		Golf journalists: We had no idea that Tiger Woods was a massive horndog with stripper stank on his hang-low, honest  (washingtonpost.com)	(58)
		Tag Heuer decides to hold that Tiger  (indystar.com)	(25)
(Modesto Bee)		Accenture becomes first sponsor to drop Tiger Woods completely after deciding that telling the world to "Go on, be a Tiger" just doesn't sound as good as it used to  (modbee.com)	(56)

(Some Guy)		The annual "Here, look at this crazy, old woman who threw up Christmas all over her house" video  (nbcdfw.com)	(96)
		Tiger Woods to take hiatus from golf, adultery  (sports.espn.go.com)	(94)
		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter enjoyed Fark's Danica Patrick fragrance headline  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(1)
		Tiger linked to AIDS virus  (myfoxla.com)	(188)

		And so it begins: Tiger Woods mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel, is in talks to pose for Playboy  (contactmusic.com)	(159)
		Jack Nicklaus gives the most rational answer yet, to a reporters questions regarding Tiger Woods personal life. "Its none of my business" *Golf Clap*  (sports.espn.go.com)	(70)
		Elin to stay with Tiger "for the kids", which is trophy-wife code for "we have a prenup and I'll only get $20 million of his $1 billion"  (nydailynews.com)	(127)
		Mistress claims Tiger "never mentioned wife", an excuse that works while dating Joe Schmo, but doesn't exactly fly when it's TIGER WOODS  (msnbc.msn.com)	(84)
		Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz says that internet traffic generated by the Tiger Woods scandal is 'better than Michael Jackson dying' and will 'absolutely' help Yahoo make their numbers this quarter  (news.yahoo.com)	(34)

		Total non-racist, Rush Limbaugh, compares Tiger Woods' affairs to other rich and famous philanderers... Just kidding, he says it's a black thing and blames Obama  (nydailynews.com)	(323)
		Tiger Woods sex tape released  (break.com)	(46)
		Media admits they're very, very thankful for their early present this holiday season: "God bless Tiger"  (blogs.news.sky.com)	(29)
		Gatorade drops Tiger Woods drink, although they say it has nothing to do with dozens of women saying they had a little Tiger in them  (news.yahoo.com)	(30)

		Hipsters and Hasids battle over bike paths on Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn  (nypost.com)	(202)
(Some Guy)		Tiger Woods soap opera takes next logical turn - a porno is being produced parodying the events. The title is extremely appropriate  (celebrityclubber.com)	(75)
		Carrier Prejean won't appear in show at midnight because it conflicts with her Christian image. Either that, or she doesn't want people to see the fangs and facial hair she develops  (nypost.com)	(77)
		Lindsay Lohan departs the US to do a documentary in India on impoverished children who are so poor they don't even have enough money to buy a gram of blow  (nypost.com)	(20)
		Dan Bern proves prophetic, in 2007 singing about Tiger Woods  (youtube.com)	(39)
		Woman removed from Tiger's home on advanced life support, so that's a two-stroke penalty  (wesh.com)	(425)

		Adrianne Curry wants you to know that she loves playing World of Warcraft naked and stoned. She wants you to know this so badly she even took a picture. (SFW)  (huffingtonpost.com)	(138)
		Tiger's First... Front... Back... whatever, he's got 9 now and there's a golf reference in there somewhere  (nypost.com)	(600)
		SignOn San Diego has a laugh at Fark's cheap shot Mangino retirement headline  (signonsandiego.com)	(0)
		Jim Furyk wins the Tiger Woods tournament, but he may have cheated on the most important hole  (guardian.co.uk)	(21)
(Some Guy)		The Kamloops News shows some love for the headline on Fark's Tiger Woods story last week. Well, one of the 87 Tiger Woods stories last week  (kamloopsnews.ca)	(0)

		Unlike "Everybody Loves Raymond," Ray Romano's new show "Men of a Certain Age" will actually be worth watching  (latimes.com)	(68)
(US Magazine)		Tiger Woods' fifth (and counting) mistress emerges from the rough, complains the golfer "used her for sex." Looks like someone doesn't know the meaning of the word "mistress"  (usmagazine.com)	(574)
		The Amazing Internet: a wildly naive look back on a gentler, simpler time  (examiner.com)	(45)
		Is Charlie Weis implying that Pete Carroll is pulling a Tiger Woods? Dumbass tag claims a one-headline trifecta  (sports.espn.go.com)	(43)
		Tiger Woods' mistress furious that he was cheating on her  (people.com)	(73)
		It seems that Tiger Woods has about as many mistresses as Al Qaeda has No. 2's  (outofbounds.nbcsports.com)	(79)
		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter weighs in on Fark's Mangino resignation headline  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)

(Some Killer in Me)		Jessica Simpson is dating Billy Corgan. Man, that's...that's just sad. You'd think he could do a lot better  (okmagazine.com)	(46)
		Headline: "Whoopi Goldberg storms off set of TV show after heated debate over Tiger Woods scandal" Article: She walked a few steps then turned around and came back  (dailymail.co.uk)	(35)

		The greatest Slow Jam version of Tiger Woods' voicemail you'll hear all day  (huffingtonpost.com)	(13)
		Comcast may kill NBC, but cable will never kill Tom Brokaw  (nypost.com)	(45)
		Tiger Woods was reading the book "Get a Grip on Physics" shortly before a fire hydrant exerted an equal and opposite reaction on his Escalade  (independent.co.uk)	(16)
		Fark gets mention for parting shot at Mark Mangino (near bottom of article)  (blogs.usatoday.com)	(4)
		Pastor of the First Church of Tiger Woods says the organization is being dissolved because of the golfer's "personal sins"  (int.iol.co.za)	(107)

		Golfer Jesper Parnevik, who introduced Tiger and Elin to each other: "I hope she uses a driver next time instead of a 3-iron." Who knew the Swedes could be so violent?  (sportingnews.com)	(124)
		"What Tiger Woods can learn from Michael Jordan." First, he needs to quit golf, but then a year later come back. Then he needs to quit again, try to play hockey, and after that fails play golf again with a different sponsor  (chicagotribune.com)	(43)
		If Tiger Woods divorce happens, it won't top Paul McCartney's. But then again, Elin doesn't need an arm and a leg  (wcbstv.com)	(38)
		Chinese news agency does hilarious CGI reenactment of the Tiger Woods incident. Starring Barbie as Mrs. Woods and the love child of George Takei and Denzel Washington as Tiger  (examiner.com)	(87)
		We may soon have video of Tiger Woods playing through the back nine at the Jaimee Grubbs Invitational  (huffingtonpost.com)	(56)
		Helen Hunt has turned into the crypt keeper [with "brace yourself" pics]  (thesuperficial.com)	(232)

		Obama to welcome president of Lebanon to White House later this month. No word yet if Obama will bow to the guy or curtsey or just throw himself flat at his feet  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(227)
		Jon Stewart performs bohemian rhapsody of Tiger Woods cable-news coverage clips  (thedailyshow.com)	(61)
		Golf Digest's current cover: "10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger." Includes: Be a good role model, be able to pull yourself together after setbacks, be agile with the press, and never do anything that would make you look ridiculous  (slate.com)	(31)
		The San Diego Union-Tribune gives props to Fark for the headline about the start of baseball free agency (3rd section from the bottom)  (signonsandiego.com)	(0)
		Cocktail waitress claims Tiger Woods scored another hole in one (w/pic)  (telegraph.co.uk)	(346)

A villager is unable to park his truck in front of his house, so he does the most logical thing: spend the next 14 years carving a tunnel through a mountain  (news.com.au)

(91)

		Knicks legend Patrick Ewing says he would love to coach the Nets on how to miss free throws  (nypost.com)	(26)
		Man who fell neck-deep into a cesspool: "If you panic, that s- - - will suck you right in."  (nypost.com)	(60)
		Tiger Woods' pretty friend chose discretion over scandal: "Although I've been romantically linked to a famous baseball player, a Broadway star, a musician, and various film and television actors, I will never kiss and tell"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(61)
		The Seattle Times gives a big round of applause to Fark for its Clue-themed headline about the Tiger Woods incident (2nd section of the article)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
		New Zealand church fined for using cell phone jammers so people's phones don't go off during services. Tag is for the church  (earthtimes.org)	(171)

Tiger Woods lashes out at people speculating about the causes of his car crash, tells them to STFU & GBTW  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(106)

		It was Mrs. Woods, in the driveway, with the golf club  (tmz.com)	(395)
		Tiger Woods alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel speaks: "There is NO relationship with Tiger."  (sportsbybrooks.com)	(44)

		Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to knock out the rear window of the car after last night's accident. Police said she initially had a sand wedge, but then chose a 9 iron and hooded it after testing the wind    (hosted.ap.org)	(83)
		You wouldn't be human if you didn't think the report of Tiger Woods' alleged affair was linked to his "car accident" today  (sportsbybrooks.com)	(41)
		Tiger Woods condition upgraded from "serious" to "typical celebrity drunk driving accident"  (thestar.com)	(401)
		Tiger Woods reported to be in serious condition in Florida hospital after early morning car crash  (myfoxorlando.com)	(667)