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Headlines matching 'Texas'
Thu February 09, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo) Ironic Texas Rangers punish Nelson Cruz for costing them a World Championship by giving him $16 million for two years  (sports.yahoo.com) (37)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Statesman) Hero News: motorcyclist chases down DUI hit-and-run driver and hog-ties him with a belt. Texas: for the second time in 9 months. Fark: is recognized at the scene by the arresting police officer from the prior incident  (m.statesman.com) (115)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Dallas News) Sad With two weeks until pitchers and catchers report, Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton already in mid-season drinking shape  (rangersblog.dallasnews.com) (87)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Salon) Strange The Super Bowl is not a job creator. Despite what civic boosters say, hosting the big game provides... Wait, what the hell am I looking at?  (salon.com) (45)


Tue January 31, 2012
(KDGE) Strange "It's not what I fought for...to be treated like this. It's not right to think they can come into your house and do this to you," says disabled Vietnam veteran who lives in fear of the authorities taking away his monkeys  (kdge.com) (48)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Some Sleazeball) Dumbass Perry claims the $1.1 million in Texas taxpayer-funded security expenses from traveling the country during his disastrous and embarrassing Presidential campaign should not be reimbursed because he was "Promoting Texas"  (wfaa.com) (74)


Thu January 26, 2012
(The Daily Beast) Amusing For some strange reason, Rick Perry's approval rating in Texas has tanked  (thedailybeast.com) (64)
(Houston Chronicle) Sick If you care for an elderly man at a nursing home, one of your most important jobs is to make sure gnats and ants don't crawl up his trachea tube into his larynx  (chron.com) (64)


Tue January 24, 2012
(Jalopnik) Sick Hobbyist is out flying R/C plane with camera. Look at the pretty landscape--green fields, lush trees, river of blood flowing off behind a meat plant...wait, WHAT?  (jalopnik.com) (222)


Sun January 22, 2012
(Some School Guy) Interesting When Texas finally becomes its own country, they won't have this problem  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (232)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Fark) Survey Best thing about living in Texas is that you can wear shorts in January outside if it's not too windy. What do you like about your state?  (fark.com) (353)


Thu January 19, 2012
(ABC) Cool Apple invents a way to bypass the Texas Board of Miseducation's chokehold on school textbooks  (abcnews.go.com) (88)
(UPI) Sad Choking game prevalent on Texas campus, recently perfected at LSU  (upi.com) (65)


Wed January 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool BBC lists the world's coolest movie theaters. Unless you live in Texas, or New York.. yours isn't on the list  (bbc.com) (112)


Tue January 10, 2012
(NPR) Interesting Thanks to Obamacare, Texans are owed $160 million in rebates from health insurers because they spend more than 20% on administrative overhead (e.g. lobbying, executive pay, etc). Guess who is trying to block this payout: The State of Texas  (npr.org) (118)


Mon January 09, 2012
(KHOU Houston) Asinine Your four-hour stay at the ER will be $20,211. Would you like to use cash, check, or credit card?  (khou.com) (445)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail When even Texas of all places criticizes your juvenile sentencing laws you might want to consider looking at said laws more closely  (masslive.com) (34)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Yahoo) Followup After Texas school shooting where police killed a 15-year-old eighth grader, many questions loom--the first of which is, what is a 15 year old doing in eighth grade?  (news.yahoo.com) (192)
(Fox News) Asinine It takes some balls to break into someone's house, live there openly, claim "adverse possession," throw out their stuff, and then charge them for home improvements because they were out of town getting chemo  (foxnews.com) (258)


Wed January 04, 2012
(My San Antonio) Asinine A Texas judge who ruled against execution has been removed from the case so that justice can be executed  (mysanantonio.com) (104)
(The Raw Story) Asinine Fox News blames "left-wing blog Politico" for weak GOP field, forgets to blame Texas Bumpkin, Pizza Man, Crazy-Eyes, King Newt, Flip-Flopper, RON PAUL, or Creepy Catholic  (rawstory.com) (127)


Tue January 03, 2012
(Yahoo) Followup The guy busted with the backpack full of explosives at a TX airport on New Year's Eve is now looking less like a scary terrorist and more like a Special Forces demolition expert planning some awesome fireworks for his buddies  (news.yahoo.com) (102)


Mon January 02, 2012
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy I don't know what a Typewriter is but this guy fixes them  (chron.com) (117)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting Jacob overtakes Jose as most popular boy's name in Texas. Also receiving votes: Divinefavour, JesusNazaret and King-David, Baby Boy, Clever, Handsome, Sir Genius, Memphiz and Tuff. Sadly, I'm not joking  (chron.com) (229)
(ABC) Misc Rick Perry draws blank on landmark Texas anti-sodomy Supreme Court case; Rick Santorum frothing at the mouth for the chance to backdoor his way into the issue, no buts about it  (abcnews.go.com) (182)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting Man shot by cop at Denny's expected to survive because thankfully he had not been served yet  (chron.com) (30)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Statesman) Followup Despite new guidelines, Texas research lab will continue experimenting on the state's residents  (statesman.com) (22)


Sun December 25, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Scary Giant shrimp invade Gulf of Mexico and OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE (w/pic)  (chron.com) (157)
(CBS DFW) Sappy As a joke, two Texas men began mailing each other the same Christmas card, year after year. The tradition has finally come to an end...61 years after it began  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (41)


Thu December 22, 2011
(Reuters) Followup Summer drought kills half a billion trees in Texas. In other news, there are trees in Texas. Or...were  (reuters.com) (37)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Huffington Post) Asinine University of Texas College Republicans President tweets: "My president is black. He snorts a lot of crack." Is our children learning, indeed  (huffingtonpost.com) (283)
(CNN) Dumbass ESPN analyst Craig James to capitalize on his success in hounding Mike Leach out of Texas Tech by running for US Senate  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (66)
(ESPN) Cool Texas Rangers win right to negotiate with Japanese phenom Yu Darvish for *raises pinky to mouth* 51.7 million dollars  (espn.go.com) (40)


Mon December 19, 2011
(AOL) Spiffy Police in Texas town handing gift cards to good drivers. Cards easily redeemable at all local businesses, liquor stores, firearms dealers  (autos.aol.com) (104)


Sat December 17, 2011
(Forbes) Cool Apple Brings Jobs to Texas. Can't you just leave the poor guy in the grave?  (forbes.com) (55)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Texas female escort offers "Toys for Tots Special": a chance for male contributors to get more bang for their buck  (huffingtonpost.com) (13)
(BattleSwarm) PSA Gen. Ricardo Sanchez drops out of Texas Senate race. "Right now the only Democratic candidates are a guy that doesn't look old enough to drink and a guy who's been dead for 191 years"  (battleswarmblog.com) (19)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Just because you are driving a Ford ECSAPE doen't mean you will  (chron.com) (33)


Thu December 15, 2011
(USA Today) Sad Try harder, Texas: The number of State executions has dropped to a 35-year low  (usatoday.com) (39)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Yahoo) Scary Two students were shot and wounded outside Texas middle school. Police suspect nearby hunters but have not determined if they have the correct license for teens  (news.yahoo.com) (151)
(Your Houston News) Obvious Being crazy won't keep Texas from executing you. But to be fair, it won't stop Texas from electing you governor, either  (yourhoustonnews.com) (72)


Sun December 11, 2011
(SLTrib) Strange Before you start tearing down the walls of your home because you hear your girlfriend calling for help behind one, first make sure she's not actually vacationing in Texas  (sltrib.com) (33)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Fox News) Stupid GOP: "Nice payroll tax cut you got there. Be a shame if something happened to it. By the way, have you heard about this nifty new oil pipeline to Texas? We like oil"  (foxnews.com) (340)
(Bloomberg) Fail Texas Instruments revenue falls, discovers it's tough to be in the computer business when the chips are down  (bloomberg.com) (9)
(Houston Chronicle) Stupid You can't do the crime if you are already doing time  (chron.com) (48)
(Statesman) Sick Texas dentist caught with child porn has been sentenced to five years of having his cavities filled  (statesman.com) (66)


Tue December 06, 2011
(Washington Post) Scary Woman denied food stamps responds by shooting children, self. Oh SNAP  (washingtonpost.com) (490)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Salon) Interesting Why Republicans hate Mitt Romney. (Hint: it's not the hair)  (salon.com) (63)


Fri December 02, 2011
(Crooks & Liars) Obvious Free speech has a three hour time limit in Texas. Dang, I know Texans that can talk about their pickup trucks for nine hours   (occupyamerica.crooksandliars.com) (34)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Sad Throw away an empty mayo jar? Oh yeah that's a beating  (chron.com) (45)


Wed November 30, 2011
(TechEye) Dumbass Texas Judge gives Chanel total control of the Internet. I for one welcome our perfumed overlords  (news.techeye.net) (30)


Tue November 29, 2011
(MSNBC) Dumbass Rick Perry thinks the election is November 12th and people under 21 can't vote. Who would have guessed Texas could elect a dumber governor?  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com) (183)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Houston Press) Amusing A roundup of some of the delightfully named people that have graced the Harris County (Houston) Texas crime rolls. Their torment is your gain  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (67)


Thu November 24, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy Mom, son reunited after 29 years just in time for Thanksgiving. Now pardon me these turkey feathers are making my eyes water  (chron.com) (25)


Wed November 23, 2011
(Yahoo) Followup While he won't face any criminal charges, at least the Texas judge who was caught on tape beating his disabled daughter might not get to be a judge anymore  (news.yahoo.com) (145)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine This is why you don't hire a 32-year-old man you found on Craigslist to babysit your 6-year-old daughter  (chron.com) (85)


Thu November 17, 2011
(gobble gobble) Dumbass No PETA, the town of Turkey, Texas will not change its name to Tofurky  (valleycentral.com) (101)
(Statesman) Strange In Texas, the law that requires cars to display license plates expires January 1  (statesman.com) (67)


Wed November 16, 2011
(ABC) Dumbass Texas College Republican leader: "Hey ya'll, you might be tempted to shoot the President, but don't do it. Oh, damnit, I may have worded that wrong"  (abcnews.go.com) (243)
(CNN) Fail You know that US Grand Prix coming to Texas? Turns out it was all hat, no cattle  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (53)
(Some Circuit Court) Sappy Texas appeals court rules owner of mistakenly euthanized dog can sue for damages based on sentimental value rather than replacement cost. "Dogs are unconditionally devoted to their owners"  (courthousenews.com) (86)


Mon November 14, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Scary Texas-based Tea Party movement that is hugely anti-voter fraud and is trying to put its volunteers in place to watch polling places now in league with the lunatic who thinks the poor shouldn't vote   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (128)


Sat November 12, 2011
(ESPN) Spiffy Will Penn State or Nebraska prevail in the AWKward Bowl? Can Texas Tech knock off another #2? Will Wisconsin score 100 on Minnesota? And the biggest game of the day is in the Pac-12? It's college football  (scores.espn.go.com) (2076)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Unlikely "We don't want others to look at Texas with scorn and ridicule and think that we are a bunch of country bumpkins"  (chron.com) (179)
(The New York Times) Interesting Today's out-of-context line of the day comes from the New York Times: "Texas was the undisputed king of pansies"  (nytimes.com) (55)
(Yahoo) Cool Texas scientist achieves "invisibility cloak" technology, which is great news for Rick Perry  (news.yahoo.com) (116)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Even in Texas, you're not allowed to attack random people who happen to drive past your house if it has been broken into  (msnbc.msn.com) (33)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Fail Your snowflake is being bullied by another student do you: A) talk to the parents, B) talk to the principal, or C) Help jump the other kid at the bus stop?  (chron.com) (185)
(Houston Chronicle) PSA Without further ado, the funniest headline in Fark history: Dyslexic clown crashes car into fruit stand, discovers that he has a *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*   (chron.com) (79)


Mon November 07, 2011
(ABC) Asinine The United States Supreme Court rules that the color of your skin can be used by prosecutors in trial, with impunity, as a reason to execute you for your crime  (abcnews.go.com) (65)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting "I'm freaking out I can't breathe It smells like money and amazingness"  (chron.com) (35)


Sun November 06, 2011
(NASCAR) Cool We've reached the seventh race of the Chase, the contenders are dwindling, and Rowdy's been sent home. It's your AAA Texas 500(ESPN, 3PM EST) discussion thread  (nascar.com) (433)


Sat November 05, 2011
(Some Guy) Amusing Kyle Busch lost his damn mind at Texas. Again. Now has the rest of the weekend off to think about how to top it next year  (scenedaily.com) (118)


Fri November 04, 2011
(CNN) Hero Texas Man: I'll go forward with OpCartel. I'm a member of Anon. Followup story on Texas man's brutal murder in 3.... 2.... 1  (cnn.com) (122)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Yahoo) Fail Getting a tattoo of the Super Bowl XLVI Champion Houston Texans on your forearm? That is Texas sized FAIL  (sports.yahoo.com) (58)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Houston Press) Sick Texas judge sentences disabled teen to harsh punishment for file sharing  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (605)


Sat October 29, 2011
(CNN) Amusing James Carville rates Rick Perry's campaign performance: "It's gotten so bad, people in Louisiana are actually starting to make Texas jokes...If this thing gets any worse, the people in Mississippi will be making Texas jokes"  (cnn.com) (105)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass For want of a cigar I went to the store , For the lack of ID I was shown to the door, For the lack of my smoke my anger was lost, For the loss of sense I tried to kill at all cost. All for the lack of a cigar  (yourhoustonnews.com) (45)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Feds say emails prove the redistricting maps signed by Texas Gov Rick Perry had the effect and intent of limiting the voting power of Hispanic voters. So much for Juan man, Juan vote   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (156)
(Some Guy) Asinine Texas state school board member wonders how anyone could believe in evolution if there are no dog-cat or cat-rat hybrids running around  (tfninsider.org) (321)
(Some Guy) Asinine Small-town Texas gun store airs an eloquent radio ad promoting responsible weapon safety. Nah, just kidding, the radio ad states they will deny service to Muslims and socialists  (kvue.com) (500)


Thu October 27, 2011
(Daily Mail) Stupid Texas software manager, who watches too much Big Bang Theory, creates robot for the office while he works from home  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Protip: When writing a book about the 'cheapest places to retire' you should really visit those first instead of using GIS. Who knew South Houston did not have "a ski lift gondola soaring above a snowy pine-studded landscape"  (chron.com) (146)


Tue October 25, 2011
(CNBC) Fail Texas Instruments warns their fourth quarter may have an E at the end  (cnbc.com) (26)
(USA Today) Spiffy Texas holds 'em. Rangers go up 3 games to 2  (content.usatoday.com) (81)
(YouTube) Amusing Biggest hit in the 5th inning was by a Texas Rangers' grounds crew member  (youtube.com) (42)


Mon October 24, 2011
(NPR) Spiffy Emily Dickinson's coconut cake recipe. Can be sung to the tune of Yellow Rose of Texas  (npr.org) (79)
(USA Today) Fail Cardinals become Texas toast in Game 4, Series even 2-2  (content.usatoday.com) (69)


Sat October 22, 2011
(ESPN) Cool WHO will break the tie between Texas and St. Louis? WILL the Cardinals pitcher grab a victory or a "Lohse"? HOW many fans will fall out of the stadium tonight? THIS is YOUR 2011 World Series: Game 3 Discussion Thread. (7:05 CST on FOX)  (espn.go.com) (950)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine Texas authorities arrest 76 year old woman with heart, back and breathing problems for a 40 year old unsolved murder. Well I certainly feel much safer now  (chron.com) (164)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Stupid University of Texas at San Antonio is getting the hang of NCAA football. Especially the "jerks running the stadium" part  (ksat.com) (23)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Rapper Texas Instruments wants to get his shiat together  (finance.yahoo.com) (23)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Whatever your opinion of the "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D" reboot/sequel, its tagline might be the best of the year  (insidemovies.ew.com) (60)
(Yahoo) Cool Carpenter is workmanlike against Rangers, hammers Texas in opener to give St. Louis a 1-0 lead in World Series  (sports.yahoo.com) (43)


Wed October 19, 2011
(ESPN) Cool TONIGHT, the October Classic begins as "Back-to-Back" AL Champions, the Texas Rangers, take on the NL Champion St. Louis Cardinals. THIS is YOUR Official FARK Thread for Game 1 of the 2011 World Series. (8pm EST/7pm CST on FOX)  (scores.espn.go.com) (580)


Tue October 18, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Cardinals' Ulysses S. Grant look-alike throws 98 mph; Can't see jack shiat. This is bad news for Texas  (sports.yahoo.com) (58)


Mon October 17, 2011
(New Scientist) Obvious Texas *****l*s c**r*d cli*** change re**rts  (newscientist.com) (87)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Yahoo) Cool ALCS two-steps back to Texas for Game 6, Rangers try to end Tigers' tale. Scherzer vs. Holland, 8:05pm ET, Fox  (sports.yahoo.com) (507)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Underdogs Texas, Ohio State, and Texas A&M take on heavy favorites Oklahoma State, Illinois, and Baylor. Wait, what? It's your week 7 college football discussion thread  (rivals.yahoo.com) (891)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy WWII vets receive mystery postcards from China, thanking them for fighting against Japanese invasion. But Hu sent them?  (chron.com) (54)

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