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Headlines matching 'Stolen'
Wed March 17, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting $75 million in pharmaceuticals stolen from Eli Lilly & Co warehouse; thieves said to be happy, erect, steady-legged, may be unable to sleep, pee, breathe, eat, should contact a doctor if symptoms last more than four hours  (online.wsj.com) (58)

Tue March 16, 2010
(Politics Daily) Spiffy Life of US soldier in Baghdad saved, thanks to a concerned roommate and a stolen firing pin  (politicsdaily.com) (178)
(Telegraph) Strange Let those of you who have never stolen a severed hand from a bar cast the first stone  (telegraph.co.uk) (43)

Mon March 15, 2010
(Yahoo) Amusing The #1 most stolen street sign in Green Bay is Mullet Place, beating out Lombardi Avenue, Reggie White Way and Brett Favre Pass. "City crews have moved it higher on the street pole and out of reach"  (news.yahoo.com) (54)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Dumbass After passing out drunk behind the wheel of a stolen car, the best thing to tell the cop arresting you is: C) "I will find you and I will kill you"  (news.cincinnati.com) (47)

Sun March 14, 2010
(Yahoo) Unlikely Bridesmaid's dress stolen hours before wedding. Subby calls shenanigans, since everyone knows that there's never been a bridesmaid's dress that's been worth stealing  (news.yahoo.com) (51)

Wed March 10, 2010
(TSN) Followup Crosby's bag of gold medal winning equipment was not stolen, a handful of sticks and 4 gloves were found at Pearson. Hockey Canada glad to have a stick and glove back  (tsn.ca) (29)

Tue March 09, 2010
(Some Guy) Dumbass Good idea: Asking helpful policewoman for directions. Bad idea: While driving a stolen car  (officer.com) (15)
(Washington Post) Obvious Germany criticizes Greece for being babies who refuse to fix their financial problems, while Greece says they'd have more money if the Nazis hadn't stolen their gold and all their kebab vendors  (washingtonpost.com) (129)

Sun March 07, 2010
(Telegram) Stupid If your car is stolen Worcester police may or may not find it, but city meter maids definitely will  (telegram.com) (55)

Fri March 05, 2010
(wptv.com) Fail If your laptop is stolen it's always a good idea to report it to police. Unless it's loaded with child porn  (wptv.com) (126)

Sat February 20, 2010
(The Sun) Amusing Two pigs stolen from a pub are being held for ransom. Police say they will not negotiate with bacon thieves, have a crack squad of butchers, eggs and toast, on standby  (thesun.co.uk) (28)

Wed February 17, 2010
(KSL.com) Stupid If you must park on the freeway, hide the drugs. But if you can't do that, at least make sure the car isn't stolen. And if you can't do that, at least don't have sex in the back seat with a minor half your age  (ksl.com) (54)

Tue February 16, 2010
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Large python stolen from Florida petting zoo. In other news, large pythons are kept in petting zoos  (sun-sentinel.com) (38)

Sun February 14, 2010
(ktla.com) Asinine Family dog stolen from its owners after a car accident. So begins the War on Terrier  (ktla.com) (63)

Thu February 11, 2010
(Herald-Leader) Dumbass Man arrested after reporting his marijuana was stolen  (kentucky.com) (57)

Fri February 05, 2010
(ABC News) Unlikely Charlie Sheen gets hammered, crashes Mercedes into ravine. Oh, sorry--he car was "stolen" and he was totally sober and not with two hookers at the time  (abcnews.go.com) (143)

Thu January 14, 2010
(TMZ) Unlikely Coldplay sued by yet another musician who claims they have stolen three of his songs. Please form an orderly queue behind Joe Satriani and Cat Stevens  (tmz.com) (16)

Fri January 08, 2010
(Halifax Courier) Silly Obi-Wan Kenobi -- the same man that single handedly dispatched a criminal with a death sentence on twelve systems -- has his lightsabre stolen on way home from fancy dress party  (halifaxcourier.co.uk) (104)

Sun January 03, 2010
(Some Chick) Cool Man wins $5M lotto. Rides his bike to verify the ticket because his vehicle was stolen last week. Says he'll stay in his trailer and continue pothole filling job  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (133)

Thu December 31, 2009
(News.com.au) Dumbass Gallery officials shocked that a $48 million Degas painting was stolen despite such state-of-the-art security procedures as "screwing it to the wall" and "locking the museum doors"  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (63)

Tue December 22, 2009
(Google) Interesting FBI investigates alleged hacking and online theft at Citigroup. Spokesman for Citigroup flatly denies that any of the $24.37, two rubber bands and a bent paper clip has been stolen from Citi's coffers  (google.com) (57)

Mon December 21, 2009
(Telegraph) Dumbass If someone rings the mobile phone you've just stolen and asks you for your name and address, they're just trying to trick you into revealing your name and address  (telegraph.co.uk) (43)

Sat December 12, 2009
(WLBZ2.com) Amusing The Hillsborough County Sheriffs Department had little trouble finding some stolen Christmas wreaths. They were being sold by the bailiff in the lobby of the Superior Court  (wlbz2.com) (13)

Sun December 06, 2009
(Foster's Daily Democrat) Dumbass Thief forgets that most people who make their escape by bicycle 1) aren't drunk, and 2) aren't carrying a stolen christmas tree  (fosters.com) (14)

Wed November 25, 2009
(New Zealand Herald) Obvious Musician appeals for return of stolen tiki. The curse never ends, Greg  (nzherald.co.nz) (34)

Mon November 23, 2009
(SFGate) Scary Rich town will install cameras to photograph every license plate entering town and instantly alert police if they spot a stolen car, a wanted criminal, or the sysadmin's ex-wife's new boyfriend  (sfgate.com) (120)
(KHOU Houston) Sad Woman dies after crashing a stolen U-Haul truck. It's a very moving story  (khou.com) (70)

Sat November 21, 2009
(Google) Spiffy ♫ I took a little souvenir-o of a man / Stole a tooth, stole a tooth, fingers and a ver-te-bra / Hidden out of sight, but now they'll see the light again / GALILEO galileo GALILEO galileo Galileo Figaro / Magnificoooooo ♫  (google.com) (42)

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