If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Headlines matching 'SSA'
Fri May 25, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious Jon Huntsman, the former U.S. Ambassador to China, calls Romney's talk on China 'typical', and suggests his views will change once he is elected   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (35)


Wed May 23, 2012
(Yahoo) Obvious Massachusetts Democrats are riding the wrong painted pony  (news.yahoo.com) (88)
(YouTube) PSA New PSA message about condoms just about covers everything  (youtube.com) (5)
(Hot Air) Unlikely AFL-CIO president beats a piñata with Gov. Nikki Haley's face on it. Thankfully in our post-Giffords assassination attempt era, the mainstream media is quick to report this and Democrats are distancing themselves them the union  (hotair.com) (71)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Some Guy) Followup There's some Andrew Breitbart, and some Glenn Beck, and even some Alex Jones and Art Bell -- it's the exclusive interview with colossal douchebag George Tierney of Greenville, SC  (glossynews.com) (183)
(The New York Times) Cool Good news, everybody. It's no longer necessary for you to feel like an uneducated, heathenish boor if you want to sip some red wine after Labor Day. You can drink Guinness in your shorts, too, and can stop feeling ashamed  (nytimes.com) (80)


Sun May 20, 2012
(National Journal) Obvious Gingrich campaign is currently $5,000,000 in debt, and that's likely to rise after factoring in the cost of jewelry from Tiffany's, fresh souls for Callista, jowl massage, neocon tear transfusions, and daily injections of whine  (nationaljournal.com) (52)
(The New York Times) Wheaton "Moreover, Wheaton had posted links to some of Cline's poetry slam work on the news and discussion site Fark.com." He's nothing if not a renaissance man. (6th paragraph from the bottom)  (nytimes.com) (3)


Wed May 16, 2012
(WPTV) Florida You know you're homeless when your husband rubbing and massaging your back is actually his attempt to secretly stuff stolen Pop-Tarts and Slim Jims into your pockets  (wptv.com) (28)
(Some Bozo) Dumbass Group of clowns to assault police at NATO summit with pies. Guess we will find out if clown death is in fact funny  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (115)
(Gothamist) Cool New York state senator honors MCA with resolution: WHEREAS, The music and message of the Beastie Boys evolved over the years, but they can't, they don't, they won't stop  (gothamist.com) (21)


Tue May 15, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Followup First masseur who accused John Travolta of sexual assault gets rubbed out of lawsuit  (thesmokinggun.com) (76)
(CSMonitor) Amusing Government mouthpiece China Daily: "Will [popular US ambassador] Gary Locke please disclose his personal assets?" China Daily readers: "Um, here's his financial disclosure statement, right here"  (csmonitor.com) (41)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Mitt Romney signed the country's only permanent assault weapons ban into law. The NRA's top lobbyist is an elderly grandmother and a registered Democrat. Remember, it's the Dems who want to take your guns  (bloomberg.com) (252)


Mon May 14, 2012
(SFGate) Obvious If you think baby names are getting stupider than ever, you can thank reality TV and religion  (sfgate.com) (263)


Sat May 12, 2012
(Toledo Blade) Strange Woman assaults friend with tiki torch. Tries to claim it was an incident of friendly fire  (toledoblade.com) (49)


Fri May 11, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Silly Lewdness and assault lead the pack in this week's Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (114)
(USA Today) Followup Massachusetts will not in fact be banning school bake sales  (usatoday.com) (19)
(PennLive) Strange Man sentenced to one year probation for....a) drug possession...b) assault and battery...or c) harboring a wallaby  (pennlive.com) (26)


Thu May 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Hero Republicans mourn the passage of Amendment One and celebrate the LGBT accomplishments of Dick Cheney  (logcabin.org) (102)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Gizmodo) Weird Assassin bug wears victims' corpses as camouflage-armor  (gizmodo.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Amusing "They got away with at least $4-thousand worth of high-end corsets, leather items, and expensive massage lubricants before sheriff's deputies could respond"  (940winz.com) (137)


Sun May 06, 2012
(Daily Express) Interesting Not news: Heart surgeons discover new information on the structure of the mitral valve. News: After reading an essay written by Leonardo da Vinci 500 years ago  (express.co.uk) (22)


Sat May 05, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Get busted for DUI? Now you'll get multiple daily text messages from the judge, ordering you to blow into your cell phone alcohol detector  (foxsanantonio.com) (94)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Wired) Obvious The FBI wants to backdoor Facebook, Skype, and Instant Messaging. Those guys are weird  (wired.com) (30)
(WXYZ Detroit) Fail "Officials say that messages on social media that led to the cancelation of classes were not threats, but were rather about masturbation"  (wxyz.com) (52)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Escort has message for Wall Street johns: "Actually, you're really small and you're bad in bed"  (huffingtonpost.com) (72)
(Detroit Free Press) Interesting Researchers say new clue found on very old map may means the settlers of the "lost colony" of Roanoke weren't massacred by indians, wiped out by disease or abducted by aliens, but just moved up the river a bit  (freep.com) (56)


Thu May 03, 2012
(BBC) Silly In real life I work for a foot care company and once a month I am the Lord of Alessandra  (bbc.co.uk) (13)
(Some Guy) Followup Apparently feeling it is undeserving of the Worst Company in America title, EA claimed Rock Band disabling message was just an error, totally not true. Also, let's just pretend the FAQ update which confirmed the said error didn't exist  (computerandvideogames.com) (58)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Some Future Ditch Digger) Fail Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning not to assault and attempt to rob a teacher in the school cafeteria?  (owingsmills.patch.com) (75)
(USA Today) Spiffy St. Louis Cardinals honor Tony LaRussa by retiring his #10 jersey  (usatoday.com) (45)


Tue May 01, 2012
(Myrtle Beach Online) Fail Man attending anger management classes assaults his two children, girlfriend and another woman after learning the kids were taking a bath  (myrtlebeachonline.com) (39)


Mon April 30, 2012
(CNN) Unlikely There was a second gunman in the RFK assassination, behind the refrigerator  (cnn.com) (105)
(Myrtle Beach Online) Amusing News: Woman assaults boyfriend with a hammer. Fark: Did we mention it was an inflatable hammer?  (myrtlebeachonline.com) (112)
(Guardian) Obvious This might shock you, but all those documents seized in the Osama bin Laden assassination show that OBL had close ties to al Qaeda and the Taliban. I know. Almost fell off my chair, too  (guardian.co.uk) (132)
(Daily Express) Amusing Will.i.am so bored by reality TV job he sends text messages to friends live on air  (express.co.uk) (24)


Thu April 26, 2012
(Cracked) Stupid Want to be massaged by snakes or elephants? It is among the six "Luxury" Spa Treatments For The Extremely Rich & Insane  (cracked.com) (23)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Welcome to the world's first luxury dental spa, where you can get bridgework and a massage all in the same place. See, do this and people might enjoy coming to the dentist  (sun-sentinel.com) (25)


Wed April 25, 2012
(CNN) Strange Mexican drug cartel assassin lived in a wretched hive of scum and villainy: Sandusky, Ohio  (cnn.com) (36)


Tue April 24, 2012
(LA Times) Obvious Report shows that effect of antidepressants on autism has been overstated by 39.4823474572 percent  (latimes.com) (11)


Mon April 23, 2012
(Daily Express) Followup After being convicted of assault, Scottish politician outlines his manifesto: "Headbutts for close up and you subdue. It may be a Scottish thing. You aim for the bridge of the nose because it is very soft"  (express.co.uk) (19)


Sun April 22, 2012
(MSNBC) Scary Northeast to be assaulted by several inches of Global Warming. EVERYBODY PANIC  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (292)


Sat April 21, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad The 100-Years Massacre continues in Boston  (sports.yahoo.com) (76)
(NHL) Followup Coyotes' Raffi Torres suspended 25 games for hit on Blackhawks' Marian Hossa  (nhl.com) (64)


Thu April 19, 2012
(NHL) Ironic In response to Torres putting Hossa in the hospital, the NHL has fined the Blackhawks $10k  (nhl.com) (42)
(MSNBC) Interesting How a book about fish nearly meant the world never got to read Issac Newton's "Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica"  (msnbc.msn.com) (21)
(Media Matters) Scary The only thing more crazy than crazy at NRA conventions are the number of Obama assassination jokes -"which is another word for extreme, and in the gun context, possibly insane - interpretation of the Second Amendment"  (mediamatters.org) (302)


Wed April 18, 2012
(YouTube) Amusing R2-D2's other message (NSFW language)  (youtube.com) (20)


Mon April 16, 2012
(13 WMAZ) Silly Police in Milledgeville, GA arrest a six-year-old girl for simple assault and property damage after knocking over a shelf in a school tantrum that injured the principal. Thank god that monster is off our streets  (13wmaz.com) (245)
(Rolling Stone) Interesting An important, well researched article on how America conducts its aerial wars and assassinations in secret, though it drones on for a bit  (rollingstone.com) (104)
(Yahoo) Scary The fact that global warming is "an unproven theory pushed by tree-huggers" hasn't stopped the five nations bordering the Arctic from preparing their militaries to seize the Northwest Passage the moment it thaws  (news.yahoo.com) (354)


Sun April 15, 2012
(Reuters) Asinine More than 2,700 companies collect your state income tax, and then keep it for themselves under deals they have struck with the states. GE, Goldman Sachs, P&G, Chrysler, Ford, GM Nissan, Toyota, all benefit from this corporate socialism  (blogs.reuters.com) (71)
(MSNBC) Weird When neck massagers go rogue  (video.msnbc.msn.com) (19)


Sat April 14, 2012
(MSNBC) Spiffy TARP was such a colossal failure, taxpayers are likely on the hook for a sizable profit  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (173)
(Washington Post) Obvious Romney adviser says his "private views" aren't necessarily the same as what he professes in public. How do you like your nominee now, Teabaggers?  (washingtonpost.com) (132)
(The Raw Story) Asinine 18-year-old in Iran refuses to take off jacket in class, receives seven hours of electric shock torture in return. Iran? Oops, meant to say Massachusetts  (rawstory.com) (232)


Wed April 11, 2012
(Kotaku) Amusing FIFA '12 to have rating re-evaluated after goalkeeper sexually assaults another player  (kotaku.com) (34)


Tue April 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Misc Melissa Gilbert injured during Dancing with the Stars. Let's hope she doesn't get addicted to that sweet, sweet morphine drip  (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com) (32)
(TMZ) Stupid Melissa Etheridge's ex-girlfriend says she cannot live on a stipend of $23,000 a month because she's accustomed to a lavish lifestyle and deserves more in alimony, insists Etheridge bring her some water  (tmz.com) (72)


Mon April 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Florida Man wearing boxers assaults construction workers with orange. Apparently there are parts of Florida where this isn't normal  (wpbf.com) (26)
(Stuff.co.nz) Dumbass Pro-tip: Before assaulting someone check to see they don't have a video camera attached to their head. Also, for Fark's sake don't dress like that, ever  (stuff.co.nz) (107)


Sun April 08, 2012
(Springfield Republican) Interesting Two candidates in Massachusetts have solved the super PAC problem  (masslive.com) (87)


Sat April 07, 2012
(Boston.com) Asinine Massachusetts town makes it legal for children as young as 14 to get tattoos. This will not end well  (boston.com) (86)


Fri April 06, 2012
(USA Today) Spiffy Tuareg rebels declare independence. Passat, Jetta rebels expected to follow in their footsteps  (usatoday.com) (64)


Wed April 04, 2012
(610 WIOD) Amusing PETA purchases personalized brick at new baseball stadium that contains hidden message. Subby can't believe he's actually impressed by something PETA did  (610wiod.com) (251)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Black off-duty cop was found to have not discharged his weapon, still faces up to 80 years in prison for attempted murder, after using his body to assault 28 bullets fired by white cops  (huffingtonpost.com) (271)


Tue April 03, 2012
(Telegraph) Obvious New entry for the world's worst looking car: New York's new taxis designed by Nissan that are due to hit the streets next year  (telegraph.co.uk) (158)
(Boston Herald) Interesting From the, "wait, that's illegal?" department: Massachusetts politician indicted for using state funds to support his political campaign  (bostonherald.com) (27)


Mon April 02, 2012
(cbs local) Asinine Like there weren't enough reasons not to live in Passaic, New Jersey, officials now plan to charge for emergency calls  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (47)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Donald Trump and Clay Aiken don't understand Penn Jillette. And Penn is okay with that. Vissa d'arte  (huffingtonpost.com) (65)


Sat March 31, 2012
(The Cambridge Chronicle) Obvious Massachusetts governor says he isn't proposing to end tax breaks, but if he did it would fix the state's failing finances. But he's not. But it would  (wickedlocal.com) (73)
(ESPN) Asinine Florida hoops player arrested "after a foot chase that also involved several police cars" for allegedly: A) assaulting someone, B) attempting to purchase drugs, C) stealing a $3 taco  (espn.go.com) (25)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Fox News) Unlikely Listen, your son died on a secret space station at the hands of a 7 foot tall assassin with metal teeth trying to save the world from a mad scientist's evil plot. What's so hard to understand about that?  (foxnews.com) (110)


Thu March 29, 2012
(Yahoo) Scary Some soccer players fall like they've been shot after a minor trip. Others take the red-card-and-assault-charge approach. With video  (sports.yahoo.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Cool Vanessa Hudgens + Selena Gomez + Ashley Benson filming in bikinis = You don't care about the name of the new movie  (dailymail.co.uk) (70)
(KAAL) Dumbass 13 year old boy who killed his mom also sexually assaulted her. For an encore, he will gouge his own eyes out  (austin.kaaltv.com) (202)


Wed March 28, 2012
(Newser) Asinine Mitt Romney is cool with elevators for cars (at least, when they're his cars), but his record as governor of Massachusetts shows in two instances, he wasn't so hot on elevators for humans with disabilities  (newser.com) (47)
(CNBC) Obvious Gold rally has run its course. There's nothing more to assay  (cnbc.com) (98)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Statesman) Strange Those mock drunk driving accidents staged at high schools during prom season are powerful in their own right. Adding real human blood isn't necessary  (statesman.com) (66)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Fox News politicizes "The Hunger Games" saying it's a cautionary tale against big government and carries a strong conservative message  (huffingtonpost.com) (228)
(Google) Asinine Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown (R) wants voters to know he's not part of the GOP's War on Women, and that he learns a lot from his wife and daughters. What specifically? "How to cook, sew, and clean"  (google.com) (93)


Mon March 26, 2012
(TMZ) Spiffy Kobe Bryant replaces Vanessa with a new, sweet ride  (tmz.com) (73)


Sat March 24, 2012
(USA Today) Unlikely USA Today's burning question: Will vegans drive Nissan Leafs with leather seats?  (content.usatoday.com) (29)


Fri March 23, 2012
(Dacula Patch) Amusing "Suspect Sought in Soft Drink Assault." Try saying THAT five time fast  (dacula.patch.com) (23)


Thu March 22, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Idaho forced ultrasound bill stalls out over serious concern from lawmakers -- on what passage of the bill would do to their reelection chances   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (44)


Wed March 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Followup A message to angry Mass Effect 3 players, from Bioware's co-founder  (blog.bioware.com) (492)


Tue March 20, 2012
(Boston.com) PSA Thanks to couple's 30 year project, you can now pay to see free genealogical records from Massachusetts  (boston.com) (42)
(USA Today) Obvious Defense attorney for accused Afghan massacre suspect says his client has no memory of the attack, suggests goateed twin brother could be culprit  (usatoday.com) (198)


Mon March 19, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Spiffy California judge rules that 14 members of "Anonymous" indicted for an online assault of PayPal may continue to use Twitter. For now  (thesmokinggun.com) (45)


Sun March 18, 2012
(The Atlantic) Interesting And now, a photo essay of an environmentalist's wet dream  (theatlantic.com) (198)


Fri March 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Spiffy The Massachusetts school board votes to provide free condoms to 12-year-olds. The only problem is they have to get them from the school nurse ...*shudder*  (1035superx.com) (203)
(Some Guy) Fail The name of the possibly intoxicated woman who assaulted passengers on a jet has not been released, and 45-year-old Cari Johnson of Phoenix is thankful about that  (1035superx.com) (90)


Thu March 15, 2012
(Washington Post) Cool Massachusetts residents are healthier than ever thanks to Romney's biggest mistake  (washingtonpost.com) (139)
(Some Guy) Cool Not news: Scientists send a coded message. News: Through 240 meters of solid stone. Cool: Using only neutrinos. You'll never guess the message they sent  (tgdaily.com) (146)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Popoholic) Amusing Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens riding scooters... in bikinis  (popoholic.com) (146)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Politico) Obvious "It isn't that Obama is necessarily any worse on civil liberties than Bush. The point is he's able to get away with so much more"  (politico.com) (191)
(BBC) Spiffy Pedro Pimentel Rios is sentenced to 6,060 years in prison for his part in the massacre of 201 people in Guatemala, but with good behavior he'll be out in half that time  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Strange Tying your hands with saran wrap, eating cat food and standing in a bucket of cold water is not hazing, it's a rite of passage  (nbclosangeles.com) (22)


Sun March 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Man buys car. News: Dealer sells man with dementia a new car. Fark: a $62,000 Nissan Murano convertible Ultra Fark: They even got him to pay $10,000 in extra accessories, including rust proofing  (pressdemocrat.com) (164)


Sat March 10, 2012
(CSMonitor) Interesting When Netanyahu gave Obama the Book of Esther as a gift, the message was only slightly less subtle than if he had constructed a massive neon billboard with the message "Mr. President, please help me destroy Iran before they destroy us"  (csmonitor.com) (235)
(CNN) Spiffy New Massachusetts divorce bill would finally make alimony settlements more fair for men. Guess who has a problem with that?  (cnn.com) (212)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Man gets life in prison for stealing four-carat diamond ring from a 92 year old woman working in a mobile massage unit. Shouldn't getting a massage from a 92 year old woman be punishment enough?  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (61)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Fox Sports) Stupid Player to recruit via Twitter: "Dude, congrats. Welcome to Michigan" NCAA: "Congratulatory message sent via social networking? Rules violation. Investigation to follow"  (msn.foxsports.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Cool International (Slutty) Women's Day: an essay in animated GIFs (SFW)  (annfriedman.com) (464)
(Post-Gazette) Interesting University study entitled "Censorship and Deletion Practices in Chinese Social Media" narrows down a list of 295 words that will get your message deleted in China including Falun Gong, brainwash, and iodized salt  (post-gazette.com) (33)
(Killeen Daily Herald) Dumbass Kunta Kinte arrested for sexual assault. Chicken George not available for comment  (kdhnews.com) (41)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Sun Sentinel) Florida You have 54 new messages. *BEEEP* Hello, this is the city of Hollywood, Florida. Please remove your obnoxious signs or we will keep calling you again and again and again and again  (sun-sentinel.com) (66)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Despite being told no, woman paints fingernails during flight. Cops waiting at airport with a digital message  (dailymail.co.uk) (151)
(Politico) Interesting "What did Reid promise Kerrey?" Probably to drop an "e" and move him to Massachusetts  (politico.com) (15)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Springfield Republican) Obvious Poll of Massachusetts residents says Obama will beat Romney by a landslide, Santorum by a tidal wave, and Gingrich by "eew, what's that on my shoe?"  (masslive.com) (77)


Sun March 04, 2012
(LiveLeak) Sad Who could have guessed that the Republic of Congo might have some issues with safe ammunition storage; 200 reported dead. With colossal shockwave video  (liveleak.com) (34)
(Fark) Cool LGN. Celebrating Daughter's 11th Bday today. If I never get another green in my life please green this with happy birthday messages. Printing out thread for scrapbook  (fark.com) (488)
(Fox News) Strange Nissan to revive beloved "Datsun" brand for new line of cheap vehicles to be sold in emerging markets, despite 210 reasons not to  (foxnews.com) (75)


Fri March 02, 2012
(The Consumerist) Hero Massachusetts tells Bank of America where to shove their new "test fees"... By removing all the state's bank accounts from it  (consumerist.com) (68)
(LA Times) Unlikely Nissan Sentra found to get 1000 mpg and top speed of 650 mph  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (72)
(Yahoo) Followup The "suspicious package" at Limbaugh house turned out to be some insane variation of the "Big Mouth Billy Bass" dealing with the Lincoln assassination that a dittohead thought would be a great business idea  (news.yahoo.com) (110)


Thu March 01, 2012
(Daily Mail) Florida Female teacher, 26, arrested for having sex with 16 yr old student whom she exchanged 12,000 text messages with. Pic verdict: "Hitable"  (dailymail.co.uk) (160)
(Billings Gazette) Dumbass Man faces assault charge for slapping and kicking a kid who threw snowball at his car. With "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" mugshot  (billingsgazette.com) (111)
(CVG) Cool Assassin's Creed 3 cover image leaked, apparently will take place during Revolutionary war. Subby is back to the shower, since he's no longer clean down there  (computerandvideogames.com) (139)


Wed February 29, 2012
(CTV) Asinine "Parents' Voice says someone needs to watch out for students who aren't represented in Gaga's message about inclusiveness, such as children who can't dance or are obese"  (ctvbc.ctv.ca) (118)
(NBA) Followup Kobe Bryant now has a concussion to go with his broken nose. For once, Vanessa had nothing to do with it  (nba.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Florida Would-be Obama assassin tweets his prediction that he will not be arrested. Secret Service: Challenge accepted  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (110)
(Hartford Courant) Unlikely Really, it wasn't me that made that call. Someone just recorded my words someplace and then put them together and then somehow made the call look like it came from my phone number and left the message. Seriously. I mean it  (courant.com) (19)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass If you're going to steal a smart phone, it's probably best not to show your victim the unique tattoo on your abs just before assaulting him  (chicagotribune.com) (15)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Smh.com.au) Asinine Despite not having broken any laws here in the United States, Julian Assange has a sealed (secret) set of charges pending against him  (smh.com.au) (174)
(News.com.au) Hero Good samaritan receives metal after rescuing sexual assault victim  (news.com.au) (78)
(The Atlantic Wire) Unlikely Syria says Assad won a second 16-year term by an overwhelming 89.4 percent of the vote, however experts note that voter turn-out was low due to inclement weather, voter apathy, the Syrian military's massacre of voting-age civilians, etc  (theatlanticwire.com) (88)
(Some Guy) Strange From the "I could have sworn he died a couple of years ago" file: Louis Farrakhan gives a fiery speech about the role of Muslims in such historical events as 9/11, Gadhaffi's fall, Obama's assassination, etc  (articles.chicagotribune.com) (76)
(Den Of Geek) Fail Today in unnecessary remakes, "National Lampoon's Vacation"  (denofgeek.com) (80)


Mon February 27, 2012
(Fox News) Scary Welcome to the USSA : "Congress has told the FAA that the agency must allow civilian and military drones to fly in civilian airspace by September 2015"  (foxnews.com) (283)
(Some Guy) Fail Armed robberies down 58%, concealed weapon violations down 45%, and felony assaults down 43%. A 13% reduction in reported crime overall. Looks like Detroit is finally regaining control...of public schools  (wilx.com) (59)
(ABC) Interesting Russian TV reporting assassination plot against Putin foiled after the gunman failed to reach the needle inside the egg inside the duck inside the hare, buried in the iron chest under the green oak tree  (abcnews.go.com) (39)


Sun February 26, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting This essay analyzing and deconstructing the Death Star's trash compactor is lucid, thoughtful, well-reasoned, and will have geeks arguing for decades  (mcsweeneys.net) (78)


Fri February 24, 2012
(BBC) Scary Russian airliner lands safely after Vladimir Putin changes flat tire from the bed of a speeding Nissan pickup truck  (bbc.co.uk) (40)
(BBC) Sick Asinine: Councillor celebrated his re-election by sexually assaulting a schoolgirl at a drunken party. Classy: Blames his sons and their friends for child porn on his PC. Bonus: Was Chairman of Child Welfare Committee  (bbc.co.uk) (22)
(Boston.com) Interesting Massachusetts judge says government hiring decisions based on political favoritism are invalid. It is unclear if any state workers will remain employed  (boston.com) (9)


Thu February 23, 2012
(MSNBC) Asinine The Arizona state legislation has decided that college students have had it too good for too long and have passed a bill that would charge non-athletic scholarship students an extra $2,000 just for the privilege of a necessary higher education  (msnbc.msn.com) (310)


Wed February 22, 2012
(EFF) Interesting Time is running out for you to erase your Google search history, find that elusive Alyssa Milano naked video clip  (eff.org) (103)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Florida lawmaker, an attorney from Miami, sends dirty text messages to Assistant US Attorney spoofing the number by using Yahoo. A Yahoo indeed. Will he resign? Of course not he is a Democrat  (tampabay.com) (103)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Doofus" atheist in 'zombie Muhammed' costume is assaulted  (abc27.com) (176)
(Some Guy) Interesting Polling confirms the Fark Politics tab: Fascists love Texas, Commies love Massachusetts, and everyone hates California  (940winz.com) (121)
(Celebitchy) Dumbass Adam Levine endorses pulling out vs. condoms, which is a dangerous message to send white people in their mid-thirties  (celebitchy.com) (50)


Sun February 19, 2012
(Daily Kos) Silly Rick Santorum wants a federal commissar to ensure enough conservative professors are hired by universities. That seems pretty reasonable  (dailykos.com) (411)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Telegraph) Unlikely Iran's navy claimed its warships entered the Mediterranean on Saturday to convey Tehran's "message of peace and friendship"  (telegraph.co.uk) (250)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Huffington Post) Asinine NH lawmaker pushes abstinence for married couples. As if that's necessary  (huffingtonpost.com) (160)
(Politico) Fail Remember folks, always check your email's spam folder. Sometimes important things will get sent there by accident, like membership confirmations, tallies for your primary caucus voting, messages from fami- wait what?  (politico.com) (47)
(BBC) Followup UN approves Arab-backed resolution against Syria and asking president to resign. Since they asked nicely, President Bashar al-Assad should stop killing his own people any moment now  (bbc.co.uk) (93)


Thu February 16, 2012
(Pictures of the Year) Sad The best photo essay you'll ever see. "Brian Scott Ostrom is one of them. After serving four years as a reconnaissance marine and deploying twice to Iraq, Scott, now 27, returned home to the U.S. with a severe case of PTSD"  (poyi.org) (289)
(YouTube) Sappy The Cleveland Cavaliers recorded a special Valentine's Day message for their fans and...well, they sing almost as well as they play basketball  (youtube.com) (11)


Wed February 15, 2012
(BBC) Followup Iranian Thai bombers captured. Mossad targets Bevel Lemelisk for assassination  (bbc.co.uk) (158)
(Yahoo) Amusing As primary season enters its second month, the messages of the remaining campaigns begin to diverge. Romney: I'm the most electable. Santorum: I'm the most conservative. Gingrich: I'm not dead yet  (news.yahoo.com) (62)
(NECN Newton) Dumbass High school girls in Massachusetts shocked to discover that pictures from their numerous public Facebook postings ended up on a porn site, are beginning to get an inkling of how this internet thing works  (necn.com) (125)


Tue February 14, 2012
(MPR) Dumbass "Please I.D. Me" Okay, you're the moran who is violating state law by pushing your political message inside the polling station  (minnesota.publicradio.org) (156)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Statesman) Dumbass Trading crack for a lapdance, yelling racial slurs, assaulting police, spitting blood, and beating your own head into unconsciousness inside the police car is no way to go through life, son  (statesman.com) (64)
(Yahoo) Ironic The man who ordered the assassination of an Iranian nuclear scientist by attaching a bomb to his car denounces the Iranian-backed "terrorists" who attached bombs to cars of his ambassadors in Georgia and India  (news.yahoo.com) (150)
(MSNBC) Silly While Greece decays in to anarchy and Assad's government is killing of their citizens en masse, Americans also have to deal with outrage, like people tweeting during Rhinestone Cowboy at the Grammys  (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com) (34)
(NPR) Stupid After years of success in insuring the poor in Massachusetts with quality healthcare, the question must be asked: Is Health Care In Massachusetts: 'Abject Failure' Or Work In Progress?  (npr.org) (79)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Now that gay marriage is legal in California, the state's Health Department thought it was necessary to print a "how to have gay sex" manual  (fox40.com) (210)


Thu February 09, 2012
(MSNBC) Stupid Been looking for a loophole in the 5-day waiting period and background check to purchase an assault rifle? Here's MSNBC to show you how  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (339)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Some Guy) Plug Farkette Elizabeth (FL) is trying to win a trip to Europe and become an ambassador for America's next generation of women pilots. She's currently trailing by only 100 votes. Click the Video Contest tab to vote  (womenofaviationweek.org) (372)
(Gothamist) Spiffy Chuck Schumer wins his Super Bowl bet with Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH) who will be buying six NY craft beers; the always-cagey Schumer knew that bets involving alcohol with Massachusetts senators often go badly  (gothamist.com) (31)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Fox News) Scary While everyone is paying attention to Iran having one of our drones, North Korea actually has several of them in its possession and is reverse-engineering them to make their own drone assault fleet  (foxnews.com) (95)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Daily Mail) Interesting Looks like Stella Hudgens has been taking attention whoring lessons from her big sister, Vanessa. She has learned well  (dailymail.co.uk) (113)


Sat February 04, 2012
(TMZ) Florida Newt Gingrich sued for assault and battery. At least he didn't rape and murder a girl in 1990, so he's got that going for him  (tmz.com) (84)
(Reuters) Unlikely Imagine the airport of the future: There are self-service bag drops, but no check-in desks. Your passage is seamless, punctuated only by periodic fondling of your junk by eager TSA staffers  (reuters.com) (42)


Fri February 03, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Silly This week's Mugshot Roundup features assaults, DUI's, bench warrants and wait........... they arrested a melted candle?  (thesmokinggun.com) (115)
(CTV) Fail Vulcan man arrested for sexual assault. Look, there are better ways to deal with Pon Farr, dude  (calgary.ctv.ca) (37)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass The Republican rhetoric about the president is going to cause his assassination, according to Punxsatawnee Jackson  (wiod.com) (85)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Telegraph) Spiffy "Spiffy," said Tom, "I have invented the phonograph. Now businessmen can send each other brief messages in pneumatic tubes, which I call the Internets." "Now, Slave, fetch me a recording of Bismarck"  (telegraph.co.uk) (10)
(Al Jazeera) Obvious Arab League goes before UN to plead for help in stopping Syrian govt massacring its own people. Guess which nation is putting a kibosh on any assistance  (aljazeera.com) (68)
(Huffington Post) Interesting How to survive tornados. Step 1: leave Missouri and Oklahoma. Step 2: repeat Step 1 as necessary  (huffingtonpost.com) (32)


Tue January 31, 2012
(TwinCities.com) Sick Two women sexually assault man with pliers, article includes a helpful picture of what a pair of pliers may look like  (twincities.com) (119)
(MSNBC) Followup Man pleads no contest to multiple counts of assault and battery with toy lightsabers, and one count of impersonation of a jedi. With "that's no jedi" mugshot  (msnbc.msn.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Interesting Julian Assange to appear on The Simpsons, sexually assault Miss Krabappel, leak all of Mr. Burns' secret files   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com) (16)


Mon January 30, 2012
(NBC New York) Sad Hey, remember that "Welcome to Vassar" message you got on our early decision applicant web site? Well, about that... funny story  (nbcnewyork.com) (112)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Six year old charged with sexual assault over game of tag. That is going on his permanent record  (sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com) (156)

Displayed 177 of about 670 links -- join TotalFark to see them all

 Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »