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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Some Guy)		Chances are, if you're growing a two foot tall marijuana plant in a pot outside your front door, you won't get a chance to smoke it  (bradenton.com)	(74)
(SomeCambridgeGuy)		I don't want to alarm you, but the Chinese may have been putting backdoors in all those computer chips they made for our military and critical infrastructure. At least consumer electronics are saf....*NO CARRIER*  (cl.cam.ac.uk)	(23)
		State's top wetlands expert suspended by Dept. of Environmental Protection for denying permit to developer, following the rules  (tampabay.com)	(54)

		The King's cars sweep the front row, while Danica Patrick and Kurt Busch race the start-and-park crowd. Your racing trifecta ends with the Coca-Cola 600, live from Charlotte at 5:30PM ET on Fox  (nascar.com)	(1097)
		Japanese man creates wooden lightbulb (yes, you read that correctly) that shines like Sauron's eyeball. None shall pass  (news.cnet.com)	(46)
(dump.com)		If you don't think a dog can retrieve a toy stuck on a ceiling fan, you'd be jumping to the wrong conclusion  (dump.com)	(16)

(Some Guy)		Meanwhile in North Carolina... With bonus irony for the town name  (addictinginfo.org)	(243)
(Some Guy)		Sky gazers delight as Venus is poised to become 'Planet Of the Gapes'; astronomers haven't seen this much gape since your mom last night  (brisbanetimes.com.au)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Hand drawings of the Large Hadron Collider. . .as if done by Leonardo da Vinci  (kottke.org)	(14)
(Some Guy)		"Officer, you have the wrong house. There is NO armed robber here. My family is cooking dinner. Can we PLEASE go back inside and turn the stove off before a fire starts?"  (wiod.com)	(173)
(The Media Blog)		Today's utterly OMFG newspaper front page brought to you by the Liverpool Echo  (themediablog.typepad.com)	(72)
		RON PAUL has already won. This is bad news for anyone not named RON PAUL   (communities.washingtontimes.com)	(177)
		Mitt Romney says teachers are wrong that smaller class sizes help children, also needs your help to find door through maze of desks and drooling kids looking for the overworked teacher curled up in the corner sobbing  (philly.com)	(279)
		How to correctly cook scrambled eggs. Yes...you've been doing it wrong  (youtube.com)	(215)
		Some guys propose on the Jumbotron, some guys use a skywriting plane. This guy outdoes them all  (news.yahoo.com)	(65)
		TORONTO FARK PARTY - June 2nd. 1pm Blue Jays v. Red Sox, 8pm variety show at The Comedy Bar - stand-up, music and burlesque acts put together by our very own Mike "Nug" Nahrgang (AKA The Mustard Man). Come mooch a beer off Drew  (fark.com)	(144)

		STOP THE PRESSES: Black Eyed Peas frontman Will.i.am admits he can't sing  (news.com.au)	(32)
(ktvb.com)		Armstrong. Collarbone, not so much  (ktvb.com)	(59)
		If you're a pro wrestler touring a foreign country make sure you know the laws concerning flag desecration first before crumpling up and kicking their national flag in front of cops  (tmz.com)	(215)
		Lehman Brothers did nothing wrong according to SEC spokesman Sgt. Schultz  (huffingtonpost.com)	(16)
		Axis powers are strong. This is not a repeat from 1939  (news.cnet.com)	(15)
		Casey Anthony spends her days eating in front of the computer. No word on what her Fark handle is  (news.yahoo.com)	(161)
		Nicole Kidman will semi-erotically pee on Zac Efron in actual scene from actual movie that is real  (gawker.com)	(76)

		What's worse than proposing on live TV in front of millions? Being a big enough douche to advertise the jeweler during your proposal. "And, with the help of David Webb Jewelry, I have a way to make this fun last forever"  (music.yahoo.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)		The new future of electronics: vacuum tubes  (news.sciencemag.org)	(133)
		"Huge striper could be worth $1 million" Yeah, subby read it wrong the first time, too  (theledger.com)	(25)
		Tiffany profits fall short of expectations. Debbie Gibson remains strong  (marketwatch.com)	(21)
(Some Guy)		Old man drives wheelchair down the highway to confront other old man at trailer park over $5 owed. Other old man is naked and using a cane. They end up in a naked, wheelchair bound cane / stick fight in the front yard. Ta-Da  (onlineathens.com)	(51)
		When it comes to boneheaded decisions, Congress can always be expected to reach a bipartisan agreement to do the wrong thing  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Astronomy Picture of the Day: All the Water on Europa. Something something, attempt no land... ahhh just look at the cool pics  (129.164.179.22)	(38)
		Happy 539th Birthday to legendary astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus. I'll bet he doesn't look a day over 500  (en.wikipedia.org)	(12)
		Scientists now looking to find evidence of extraterrestrials by using amateur astronomers, snipe hunters  (foxnews.com)	(23)
		Former staffer for Ronald Reagan and National Review writer breaks up with the GOP because of its extreme right hate-mongers, writes about it  (salon.com)	(159)
(Socialist Stooge)		German police confront Occupy protesters and....take off their helmets and escort them through town?  (globalwinnipeg.com)	(135)

		CNN: Obama only lost Arkansas and Kentucky because they aren't and never have been Democrat strongholds even though nearly every election since 1900 they went Democrat including 1996 and Obama beat Hillary there in 2008  (newsbusters.org)	(120)
		Best. Vicar. Ever: four-minute sermons, bring-a-bottle confirmation classes, and if he was too drunk to pronounce "vicissitude" at Christmas midnight mass he'd simply pick up where he left off the next Christmas  (telegraph.co.uk)	(36)
		Chipotle accused of hiring illegal Mexican immigrants and is the subject of a Federal Investigation over hiring practices. Which is kind of ironic, considering their food is the furthest you can get from real Mexican  (reuters.com)	(211)
		Massachusetts Democrats are riding the wrong painted pony  (news.yahoo.com)	(88)
		Subby got a warning, instead of a ticket this morning. Have you ever talked your way out of a ticket before? How? What were you doing wrong?  (fark.com)	(313)
		Man with ammunition too dangerous for the gun range decides to fire it off in his garage. What could possibly go wrong?  (blogs.tcpalm.com)	(49)
		Realizing that maybe the economy isn't his strong point, Romney shifts focus to education. You know, that part of the federal government over half his party wants to get rid of  (wrcbtv.com)	(40)
		Verizon isn't evil because it hates you. Verizon is evil because it wants to make its shareholders some money. Is that so wrong?  (forbes.com)	(8)
		Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing"   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(113)

		Mainstream media: LOL, Ron Paul thinks he can get enough delegates to win nomination . NPR: Actually, yes, for his son Rand in 2016  (npr.org)	(57)
		"Vast numbers of counterfeit Chinese electronic parts are being used in US military equipment, a key Senate committee has reported." Sleep tight, citizen  (bbc.co.uk)	(49)
		"Game of Thrones" videogames suck, so try spiking these mods on your walls instead  (kotaku.com)	(50)
		LeBron gets fired up by reading "The Hunger Games." Peeta, Tebow unimpressed  (news.com.au)	(18)
		Old and busted: Reaper Drones New Hotness: BlimpKites  (upi.com)	(12)

		Ron Jeremy out as head coach for Orlando Magic. This sounds like Dwight decision to make  (abcnews.go.com)	(35)
		For all those who felt morally opposed to the pirated version, here's the actual Anchorman 2 trailer. Insert overly repeated Ron Burgandy quote  (shortlist.com)	(61)
		"Why Do We Hate LeBron James?" That has a nice ring to it... figuratively, not literally  (forbes.com)	(96)
		"Hey, just for a laugh, let's put out toddler in the front loading washer at the laundromat. Auto lock, what the hell is an auto lock?"  (youtube.com)	(62)
		...But if you must use downtown Cologne as your driving range while drunk at 6:00 a.m. and get into a confrontation with a cab driver after hitting his car with a ball, don't pull a knife on him  (thelocal.de)	(17)
		Ways to successfully obtain sex: dating sites, bars, prostitutes, Craigslist hookups. Ways to unsuccessfully obtain sex and simultaneously make the front page of Fark: get naked and blindfolded, and tie yourself to a tree  (huffingtonpost.com)	(52)
		Hank Aaron still retains his passion for the game. H* th*r*, B*rry B*nds  (jsonline.com)	(44)
(Some Guy)		Sacha Baron Cohen nearly killed by a group of rock-wielding "Hasidic nutcases" in Israel. At least they didn't throw him down a well  (ottawacitizen.com)	(158)

		Black Sabbath makes triumphant live return in Birmingham. Forget Robert Downey Jr, Ozzy Osbourne is still Iron Man  (nme.com)	(60)
		New Afghan terror group called Mulla Dadullah Front emerges that is said to be worse than the Taliban. Expect even worse group to follow: Mulla Mulla Dadullah, Banana fana fo-fulla. Fee-fi mo-mulla  (stripes.com)	(92)

		Two kids pitch idea of clothing with solar panels to Warren Buffet. The clothes could power electronic devices, but users would need to go to this mystical place called "outside"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(25)
		Subby is honored to share a birthday with Pete Townshend, which happens to be today. Here's Eminence Front, perhaps the most quintessential song of the 1980's  (youtube.com)	(91)
		Ron Paul's supporters are just as confused as he is  (politico.com)	(46)
		Smithsonian shows what astronauts ate on the May 1969 Apollo 10 mission: lobster bisque, bone-in ribeye, and twice baked potatoes. Just kidding. Cocoa, salmon salad, sugar cookie cubes, purple drink  (sciencedaily.com)	(51)
(Some Guy)		That awkward moment when you realize the vehicle you reported stolen a few hours ago has been parked in the weeds in your front yard the whole time  (dacula.patch.com)	(43)
		The New York Mets' best pitcher in the 14-5 loss to Toronto was their catcher  (mlb.mlb.com)	(27)
		The reason so many men these days aren't vegetarians is because Charles Bronson and John Wayne spent so much time eating bloody steaks and charred burgers while sitting around in bacon-stitched robes  (mnn.com)	(110)
(The Blaze)		Chicago Occupiers decide to protest in front of Rush Limbaugh's office, miss by 1000 miles. Whoopsie  (theblaze.com)	(145)
		Millions of U.S. students are chronically absent from smoking too much chronic  (usnews.com)	(30)

(Some Guy)		Caron Butler's awesome dunk on Tim Duncan, followed by Tim Duncan's epic walk of shame (video)  (dimemag.com)	(76)
		Radio host and easy prey Rush Limbaugh wonders when the environmentalist wackos are going to start doing something about all the pollution and environmental damage being caused by lions, tigers, and sharks  (mediamatters.org)	(143)

		Walter Cronkite's last contract with CBS stipulated that he quit complaining about that a**hole Rather  (nypost.com)	(21)
		Astronomer tweets an offhand hipster comment. The internet responds  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(80)
(Long Island Press)		LIRR train kills man. Earth on verge of war with Omicron Persei 8  (longislandpress.com)	(61)
		Mercury for sale on Craigslist. What could go wrong?  (myfoxtwincities.com)	(115)
		Are Ron Paul supporters really planning to hijack the GOP national convention? Well, how else are they going to get their critical anti-chemtrails plank in the platform?  (csmonitor.com)	(87)
		Coyote fans think there's got to be good news left after watching the US fall to Finland with 8.8 seconds left in the IIHF World Championships. They're wrong, they still have to play the Kings tonight @ 8:30 EDT  (tsn.ca)	(569)
		Not news: Bartender walks female patron home. News: Thief tries to steal her purse. Fark: Bartender fights him off, gets stabbed eight times. Totalfark: He has no health insurance; the bar is hosting a fundraiser to pay his bills. Can we help?  (wtop.com)	(132)
		Game of Thrones played on 8 floppy drives. Windows is coming  (youtube.com)	(20)
		Ten homages the new My Little Pony cartoon has made, from Jesus from The Big Lebowski to Q. That might explain this Brony phenomenon  (toplessrobot.com)	(100)
		A history of the Ron Paul campaign, as told by internet comments  (swampland.time.com)	(135)

		Why the Heat is in deep LeBron  (miamiherald.com)	(74)
(Some Guy)		Tony Stark to face off against classic Marvel supervillain for Iron Man 3. Nah, just kidding, it's one of those mid-'90s hair guys everyone tried to forget  (badassdigest.com)	(113)
		Height, weight, size, girth, tight, skinny, tan, rich, petite, jacked, strong, confident, go-getter, blast at parties, awesome fashion sense, musically adept, great cook, great in bed, etc, etc  (gizmodo.com)	(296)
		Charlize Theron didn't have teeth until she turned 11. No, theriouthly  (starpulse.com)	(53)
(wlfi.com)		12-year-old boy put in jail by mistake. Officers suspected something was wrong upon realizing that they jailed a 12-year-old boy  (wlfi.com)	(73)
		Two hot blondes perform the "Game of Thrones" theme on electric harps.... Winter is coming, indeed  (youtube.com)	(52)
		Ignore the Establishment Media: Ron Paul Has NOT Dropped Out  (youtube.com)	(28)
		Aaron Sorkin to write film about Steve Jobs. In other news, Apple to trademark the walk and talk  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(11)
		Hey, remember those first steps President Obama took beside Neil Armstrong on the moon? And when he guest-lectured with Albert Einstein? Oh man, good times, good times  (content.usatoday.com)	(82)
		Sacha Baron Cohen may not be your cup of tea, but you have to admit he commits to a character 100% when promoting his movies  (telegraph.co.uk)	(58)
		Russian satellite captures highest-resolution image of Earth ever. Something must be wrong with this monitor, I can't see America  (foxnews.com)	(15)

		Kristen Stewart should never pose next to Charlize Theron again  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(193)
		Mark Ronson says Amy Winehouse was "freaked out" by Adele's success, size  (spinner.com)	(38)
		First appearance of the Judean People's Front, high school students succumb to pier pressure, and Oden keeps his alcohol problems loki: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/6 - 5/12  (fark.com)	(7)
(Some Guy)		Here are 79 examples of Barack Obama's corruption, lying, lawbreaking, and cronyism   (danfromsquirrelhill.wordpress.com)	(260)
		Newspaper editor rips off local blogger post and reprints it verbatim. Blogger takes camera to newspaper and confronts the editor and gets $500 for violating his copyright  (gizmodo.com)	(90)
		LOL, school makes students sign pledge to not write acronyms in their yearbooks. OMG, TSNF  (wsbtv.com)	(86)

		You have chosen to be on the wrong side of history and I do not support your run for president any longer   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(230)
(Spaceflight Now)		NASA astronaut Joe Acaba and two cosmonauts are launching tonight to the ISS at 11:01 p.m. EDT from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan; follow countdown progress with live video here  (spaceflightnow.com)	(128)
		RON PAUL to suspend campaigning. Will return to his Texas lair to plan his takeover of the GOP convention in Tampa  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(471)
		Mainstream republicans got a preview last weekend of how much chaos and trouble Ron Paul could cause at the RNC, and it's scaring the crap out of them. RON PAUL  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(110)
		Atlanta traffic engineers come up with novel way to alleviate road congestion: open up the emergency lanes for regular drivers. What could possibly go wrong?  (wrcbtv.com)	(90)

		Brits prefer to hoist a pint with a mate within stumbling distance of home to hoisting one at home while having a little sherman tank/ barclay bank/ peddle and crank/Thomas Tank in front of the telly  (upi.com)	(58)
		Team of specialist archaeologists spend three months creating replica of Bronze Age boat, only to work out that a boat specialist may have been fractionally more useful  (bbc.co.uk)	(41)
(Some Guy)		The Hostile: Telltale signs: High, sometimes explosive, reactivity. Frequently disagreeable. Cynical. Mistrustful. Does not like to be wrong. Where you'll find them: Corner offices, the Internet  (psychologytoday.com)	(80)
		Now it's getting interesting: Ron Paul supporters boo Mitt Romney's son off the stage at the Arizona Republican Party convention. "The white Obama"  (azcentral.com)	(383)

Young cancer patient produces video of other young cancer patients singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" - the saddest and the most inspiring thing you'll see today  (duluthnewstribune.com)

(91)

		Stocks turn positive on strong sentiment data. It looks like someone had a HUG  (foxbusiness.com)	(5)
		Game of Thrones decapitated Ned Stark dessert pops  (io9.com)	(55)
(Some Drinker)		Friday Night NASCAR drinking game: Every time they mention Danica Patrick or Travis Pastrana without them being near the front of the field, take a drink. Finish your drink whenever they earn a Darlington stripe. Live at 7:15 PM ET  (autoweek.com)	(91)
		Blood + Boobs - Elaborate Battle Sequences = "Game of Thrones"  (youtube.com)	(45)
		37 year old future Hall-of-Famer Vladimir Guerrero, career .318 hitter, 449 HR, signs minor league contract with Toronto Blue Jays, eh?  (ca.sports.yahoo.com)	(52)
		Kristen Stewart left po-faced after being evicted from Charlize Theron's private jet  (ok.co.uk)	(101)
		If an eight-year-old boy is riding his bike in front of your house you should a) wave hello, b) do absolutely nothing, c) throw a pitchfork at him. Bonus round: You're holding a beer while this is happening, what do you do?  (mcall.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Electronics store holds woman's computer hostage until she removes the complaint she filed with the attorney general about their wonderful customer service  (sacramento.cbslocal.com)	(116)

		When the police come to your front door, stabbing your computer with a samurai sword will not delete the child porn on the hard drive  (dailymail.co.uk)	(134)
		Jets QB says that "Tim Tebow is a backup quarterback first, and then he'll do plenty of other stuff.". Unknown what the other stuff is, but a brand new shoeshine kit and chauffeur's hat was found in front of Tebow's locker   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(52)
		We've been trimming our nails wrong for more than 100 years  (gizmodo.com)	(67)
		Will the Bulls realize they're playing the Sixers? Will the Lakers fall prey to the altitude? Will Rondo make up for his butterfingers? Will anyone force a Game 7? It's today's NBA Playoffs Thread. First tipoff is at 7 pm Eastern  (scores.espn.go.com)	(246)
		Trinitrons keeping Sony's outlook disappointing, fuzzy  (bloomberg.com)	(17)
		Rupert Murdoch's tabloid chief was allowed to sit in on national intelligence meetings. Was that wrong? I mean really, what's the worst that could've happened?  (guardian.co.uk)	(18)
		Old and busted: RON PAUL. New hotness: GARY JOHNSON  (abcnews.go.com)	(84)

		Bronzed NJ mom inspires 'tanorexic' action figure, which frighteningly looks more human than the inspiration  (seattlepi.com)	(25)
		Obnoxious new anti-piracy warnings make DVD buying worse. For you younger folks: DVDs were hardcopies of digitized films that you couldn't legally transfer electronically. Strange, I know  (boingboing.net)	(257)
(Business Insider)		Establishment GOP: "Say there, Mr.No-Chance-in-Winning Candidate Ron Paul, you're, uh, getting quite a bit o' delegates on your side there"  (businessinsider.com)	(135)
		You are a convicted sex offender. Released early do you: A) Right the wrongs of the past, B) Start an awareness campaign against sex abuse, or C) fire up some porn on your laptop in a crowded McDonald's?  (wsbtv.com)	(59)
		Kobayashi downs 42 cups of coffee in front of guy from Half Baked  (youtube.com)	(41)
		Your estranged wife wants to vote for a Democrat. Do you: C) throw yourself in front of her moving vehicle?  (jsonline.com)	(182)

		Astronomers look on as Galactus cooks his next meal  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(6)
(Some Guy)		Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard changed the poll sites, which isn't that funny until you consider the fact that his wife showed up at the wrong polling location  (indydemocrat.blogspot.com)	(27)
		The case for the 20-year-old age limit in the NBA. LeBron James seen rolling his eyes  (grantland.com)	(47)
		Naked lady seen on the front of Canadian $20 bill. Dear god, I hope it's not the same lady  (upi.com)	(100)
		Historians find first evidence of a cult in Judah, also known as Judea, at the time of King David. Sadly, they can't agree if it should be called the "Judean People's Front" or the "People's Front of Judea"  (sciencedaily.com)	(70)
(Chronicle of Higher Education)		How's that Ph.D. in medieval history workin' out for ya? "I find it horrifying that someone who stands in front of college classes and teaches is on welfare"  (chronicle.com)	(485)
(Some Guy)		Sasha Baron Cohen's original target for the Ryan Seacrest ashes prank on the red carpet was George Clooney  (mega949.com)	(23)
		According to the Coroner's report, Thomas Kinkade, the "painter of light" was also the "Heavy duty popper of pills and drinker of booze"  (abcnews.go.com)	(56)
		Vikings release their highest scorer, because clearly there's something wrong with him if he's willing to be a part of such a spectacular failure  (espn.go.com)	(75)
		Today is the 45th anniversary of the Battle of Con Thien. This is where subby's father was awarded the Bronze Star, and the Purple Heart. "Whatever It Takes"  (youtube.com)	(29)
		Apparently unsatisfied with killing the photographer from the coroner's office, Obama's minions have now caused a witness to Breitbart's death to disappear. Either that or the guy just stopped taking calls from Wingnut Daily  (wnd.com)	(71)

		Which old, retired guy will beat up John Cena this week? Will it be The Rock? Brock Lesnar? Johnny Ace? Baron Von Raschke? Lou Thesz? Georg Hackenschmidt? Find out when Senile Vince presents WWE Monday Night Raw, 9 PM on USA  (bleacherreport.com)	(π)
		Astronomers find a cluster of galaxies 12.7 *billion* light years away. Seriously, that's Farking amazing  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(95)
		Cameron Diaz explains the science behind "saggy boobies"  (starpulse.com)	(58)
		Bronies unite. My Little Pony + Leggos = Awesomeness  (aggrogate.com)	(202)
		James Cameron talks Avatar 4. "I'm not interested in developing anything [else]. I'm in the 'Avatar' business. Period"  (hitfix.com)	(139)
		LeBron gives post game interview versus Knicks, with special guest appearance by Chris Bosh  (liveleak.com)	(7)

(Pittsburgh Post Gazette)

Pennsylvania has lots of flying squirrels, but they're the wrong kind of flying squirrel  (old.post-gazette.com)

(16)

		Disabled vet is told he'll never walk unassisted again, gives up and turns into huge fatty. Along comes a yoga instructor who proves doctors wrong.. All right, who set off the tear gas canister in here?  (liveleak.com)	(79)
		Statue of an obese nude woman that sits across the street from a church is vandalized with paint a few days after somebody covered it up with a burlap apron a few days after all the private parts were covered in dollar bills  (azfamily.com)	(76)

		Bill Simmons forced to withdraw his NBA MVP vote (for LeBron James) after someone remembered he had said he bet on LeBron to win the award in an old podcast  (deadspin.com)	(35)
		Will Rondo "trip on" another ref? Will the Bulls remember to play a second half against the Sixers? Will the Nuggets keep the Lakers under 100? Friday night NBA playoffs discussion thread? Why not? Games start at 7:30 ET  (espn.go.com)	(100)
(Some Guy)		Yes you would, every one of them, even though the crazy clearly is strong and abundant  (ranker.com)	(220)
		You know how all those top environmental scientists have been warning us that Greenland's glaciers are melting faster than they ever have before and could raise sea levels by six feet? Yeah, about that  (npr.org)	(158)
		Neil Armstrong's Corvette is on eBay. Yeah, even a Corvette gets boring once you've walked on the Farkin' Moon  (foxnews.com)	(66)
		After a couple hits off the bong at the hash bar, she sat down to a medicated bowl of beef and broccoli, pronouncing it delicious  (myfoxdc.com)	(72)
		Never-before-seen concept art from the David Cronenberg-directed "Total Recall" that never was  (io9.com)	(41)

		Who knew Ron Paul could be such a shiatkicker and cause a multitude of problems for Romney?  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(227)
		Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul film first promo for Breaking Bad's fifth season, and yes, it's the cruelest kind of tease imaginable  (warmingglow.uproxx.com)	(50)
		County Coroner in trouble for cracking open a few cold ones and then showing up at a crime scene  (wishtv.com)	(34)
		Why is Cristiano Ronaldo booed everywhere he plays? because of things like this..... giving the finger to a World Cup winner after winning the game and the league  (eitb.com)	(29)
		Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Silverware  (google.com)	(24)
		Is Game of Thrones' gratuitous sex worse than the gratuitous violence?  (io9.com)	(224)
		Hot Nashville Predator's ice girl scoops up a catfish off the ice last night. If you're looking at the fish to see if it's alive you're doing it wrong. (w/ video)  (sports.yahoo.com)	(47)
		Woman faked pregnancy, even had her family throw her a baby shower, before she beat a woman with a tire iron and kidnapped her baby  (foxcharlotte.com)	(44)
		What if the Game of Thrones characters had Dungeons & Dragons alignments?  (io9.com)	(174)
		Hey you 99%ers that are railing against the rich Wall Street bastards that make up the evil 1%. You're barking up the wrong tree  (townhall.com)	(231)
		Iron clad proof that America will always have a two party political system  (dailykos.com)	(84)
		Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng had this idea about how in America, human rights take precedence over cheap drywall. Which is nuts, because any moron knows re-election takes precedence over human rights and drywall  (cnn.com)	(60)
(Some Guy With Singles)		If using welfare money for strippers and booze is wrong, I don't want to be right  (freebeacon.com)	(121)
		Ok, I know you're all sick of all the Iron Man cosplays on the Internet, but just look at it. JUST LOOK AT IT  (kotaku.com)	(37)
		Five facts you might not know about Cinco de Mayo. #6: It's not officially sponsored by Corona  (mnn.com)	(47)
		Thirteen-year-old student to Metropolitan Museum of Art: "Your map is wrong." OH SNAP  (courant.com)	(104)

		British spy whose body was found inside a locked sports bag was likely "killed in a criminal act", says London coroner Ric Romero  (usatoday.com)	(67)
		Protip: If your lawsuit claims 'chronic pain and diminished ability to enjoy life' it's probably best to keep those vacation pics off facebook  (cbc.ca)	(52)
		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column bumps FARK's headline about Rajon Rondo up to the top as the best of the week (2nd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)

		Choose who you sit next to on a plane via social media. What could possibly go wrong?  (travelandleisure.com)	(83)
		Britney Spears in the cheap buffet capital of the world? Gee, what could possibly go wrong?  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(46)
		In a shocking do-it-yourself article, you may be using the wrong extension cord  (gizmodo.com)	(28)
		Strong demand for Jeep Grand Cherokee puts Chrysler hiring plans into overdrive  (content.usatoday.com)	(35)
		Rajon Rondo bumped for Game 2  (usatoday.com)	(16)
($25 pumping fee)		Two of the most hated industries are oil companies and commercial airlines. So, let's welcome our new Voltron of Suck: DeltaConocoPhillips   (refiningandpetrochemicals.energy-business-review.com)	(33)
		Five scientific explanations for Game of Thrones' messed-up seasons  (io9.com)	(197)

		"Young said Hunter complained that her Reuben sandwich had the wrong sauce and then called her spiritual adviser and healer for help"  (foxnews.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		You cancel fire insurance for the antique business housed in your candle-lit wooden barn. What could possibly go wrong?  (abc27.com)	(68)
		Instrument thieves who may be prone to violins, a note from the Stop Hitting Yourself Institute, and researchers discover the Kardash-ion: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/22 - 4/28  (fark.com)	(11)
		Zac Effron says HE'LL commit suicide if he hears anymore High School Musical songs  (express.co.uk)	(53)
		Derrick Rose's season-ending ACL injury mocked--by LeBron James' Nike shoe designer  (espn.go.com)	(40)
		Rajon Rondo: 20 points, 11 assists, 1 ref chest bump. 1 ejection  (hangtime.blogs.nba.com)	(32)

		A real-life Norman Bates has been busted for fraud for dressing up like his dead mother for six years and collecting her benefits. But he doesn't believe he's done anything wrong-because he actually believes he is his mother  (newser.com)	(41)
		Subbette honestly wants to know who Farkers think the strongest Fictional character is and why. Is Goku stronger than Superman? Is Doctor Who better than the Green Lantern? Discuss  (fark.com)	(366)
		LA coroner dies of arsenic poisoning. The same week that Breitbart's autopsy report is due out. OBAMA DEATH TOLL AT 6. (weapons grade derp in the comments)  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(160)

		Stephen Colbert rips David Koch to his face in front of everyone at the Time "100 most influential people" gala  (dailykos.com)	(219)
(Some Guy)		There's caring for the environment and then there's eating fish you raised inside your New York City apartment  (asiaone.com)	(65)
		Last recorded public trumpet recording of Louis Armstrong discovered, making it an even more wonderful world for his fans (w/video)  (cbsnews.com)	(19)
		Bullied children are more prone to self-harm, says new study from the Stop Hitting Yourself Institute  (bbc.co.uk)	(109)
		If you get caught secretly filming your hot neighbor in the bathroom, own up to your actions. Don't blame it on an imaginary nephew named Aaron  (azcentral.com)	(57)

		Will Andrew Luck and Coby Fleener be reunited in Indy? Will the Seahawks continue to do their best Stretch Armstrong impression? Will Ernest Borgnine go to the Browns? NFL Draft: Rounds Two & Three (7 PM ET)  (espn.go.com)	(564)
		Astronomers find first planet in the sweet spot of the habitable zone, capable of supporting intelligent life  (telegraph.co.uk)	(123)
		Back in the day, a stoned projectionist could allow a film to get jammed and melt in front of the bulb. Nowadays, he can accidentally delete an entire film, even if it's at a vital press screening of "The Avengers"  (slate.com)	(69)
		Nintendo's beloved adorable mascot celebrates its 20th anniversary. No, not that guy. Or that one. Buzz. Not that one either. Nope. Next guess. Wrong. Really, HIM?  (wired.com)	(59)
		Wat Rong Khun, a Buddhist temple under construction is poised to become one of the most stunningly beautiful in the world, rich with symbolism derived from Buddhist and Hindu traditions, including: Superman, Batman, and Neo from The Matrix  (huffingtonpost.com)	(58)
		50 years ago co-pilot Major Ron Salt helped lift the new 80-foot spire onto Coventry cathedral after it had been destroyed by the Luftwaffe. This morning he climbed back up there to check out his handiwork  (bbc.co.uk)	(23)
		Mike Crapo (R-Stop Giggling Already) votes to strike all mentions of the word "lunatic" from Federal Law, to be replaced with "Ron Paul Fan"  (thehill.com)	(75)
(Spaceflight Now)		US astronaut Dan Burbank & two cosmonauts are returning to Earth from the ISS right now in a Soyuz capsule, live on NASA TV  (spaceflightnow.com)	(37)
(Some Suspicion)		Today's iron photoshop ingredient: Paranoia  (26.media.tumblr.com)	(34)

		How much of the sound stage at Area 51 did the Apollo 11 astronauts actually explore?  (io9.com)	(48)
		Breitbart takes on the phenomenon of "Bronies". Whoever wins, we lose  (breitbart.com)	(386)
(kgw.com)		Instruments stolen from band bus. Authorities warn that the suspects may be prone to violins  (kgw.com)	(68)

(Some Guy)		Web site offers $1M to anyone who can prove they have had sex with Tim Tebow. Bonus: Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski reveals that he can line up on either side of the formation  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(50)
		When touring the Large Hadron Collider, stay with your group  (networkworld.com)	(10)

		Ron Paul backs CISPA, believing the cybersecurity bill will protect his medication from robots   (idealab.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(147)
		The best way to mark the Queen's 60 years on the throne is with. A) A huge party. B) A statue. C) A commemorative can of beans  (dailymail.co.uk)	(66)
		The Top 10 craziest fights in NBA history: The Punch, Will Smith checking Nash into the boards, Metta Ron-Ron World Peacetest, and 'Melo suckerpunching a cat then moonwalking like Jacko made the list  (guardian.co.uk)	(53)
		Why do we yell "Geronimo" when jumping out of things? Here's the answer -- and besides, yelling "Custer" does not have the same poetic ring  (mentalfloss.com)	(88)
(Some Guy)		Chroniccocaineuseleads to accelerated aging of the b r a i n  (medicalxpress.com)	(42)
		"The dirty little secret about political punditry, that is not actually a secret to anyone who watches and reads it, is that it's all lies. It requires very little knowledge or skill, and there are no consequences for being wrong"  (salon.com)	(35)
(Vulture.com)		"Game of Thrones" has a kid problem. And it's not just you wanting to punch Joffrey  (vulture.com)	(333)
		Your childhood dreams to become reality: Ferrari F70 - 800 hp V12 hybrid with "Boost" button that instantly adds 120 hp and planet turning torque; eats Veyron SSs for breakfast  (wired.com)	(32)
		Want to know if you are being surveilled by a government drone? Here is a handy map of the places using drones in the U.S. Don't forget to wave...one finger at a time  (eff.org)	(63)
		Iron Photoshop ingredient: The Eye of Sauron  (google.com)	(34)

(Some Guy)		Colorize this mustachioed astronaut  (pics.livejournal.com)	(39)
(Some Guy)		"It's harder to be a cheerleader than a Broncos player"  (940winz.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		If you're going to shoot up a speed van, you might want to do it from a different angle than directly in front of the camera  (fox11online.com)	(44)

		Someone found 10 things wrong with the NFL. Washington Redskins suspiciously absent  (sports.yahoo.com)	(93)
		Woe to you of Earth and sea, for Fark sends Iron Maiden's 1983 World Piece show in its entirety, because he knows the time is short  (youtube.com)	(25)
		Sadly the Democrats are stuck with Barack Obama, just as the 7th Cavalry was stuck with George Armstrong Custer  (news.yahoo.com)	(285)
(Pressherald.com)		Good news: New technology lets anyone become a storm chaser. Bed news: ANYONE can become a storm chaser. "There were morons out there. There were plenty"  (pressherald.com)	(114)

		Manu Ginobili throws amazing pass, immediately gets drafted by the Broncos  (youtube.com)	(16)
		Broncos already looking to replace Peyton Manning  (nfl.com)	(64)
		In further proof that God hates the Red Sox, Bronx Bombers bombard Boston with 5 home runs on Fenway Park's 100th birthday  (mlb.mlb.com)	(230)

		In a world where America fights to remain in front: Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps Students, Teachers and Principals  (nydailynews.com)	(338)
		Zac Efron is embarrassed about having his mom watch his love scenes. If he thinks THAT'S embarrassing, wait until he sees the love scenes I had with her  (people.com)	(16)
		These NBA Playoffs are about one man and one man only: LeBron James  (sportschump.net)	(69)
		In the most heartbreaking entertainment news you'll hear all day, John Cusack drops out of James Cameron's "Aquaman"  (showbizspy.com)	(122)

		Not content to rest on their laurels after developing artificial intelligence that will soon surpass humans at the same time as they're building hunter-killer drones, scientists have now invented synthetic DNA that replicates and evolves  (io9.com)	(32)
		Challenge: make him even MORE ironic  (i.dailymail.co.uk)	(60)
		According to new research, Conservative viewpoints dominate Sunday morning television, which is ironic given that they should be in church  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(87)
		I was going to be a regular in Game of Thrones like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee  (kotaku.com)	(81)
		California teens hack into school computers to change attendance records. Next up: Getting keys to Cameron's dad's Ferrari, picking up Sloane Peterson  (duluthnewstribune.com)	(99)
(Some Rockhound)		James Cameron's next project might be a remake of 'Armageddon'  (theverge.com)	(115)
		WebProNews picks up the story of Drew's TED talk with a featured full page article  (webpronews.com)	(1)
		How do you stop Christiano Ronaldo and Real Madrid? Steal the best player's shoes right before the match, that's how  (telegraph.co.uk)	(11)

		Space firm about to make a major announcement regarding new project that will "add trillions of dollars to the global GDP." The Bad Astronomer take a stab at what it is. Hint: It's asteroid mining  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(133)
		You might think you'd be better off without the bacterium that causes acne. You'd be wrong  (discovermagazine.com)	(16)
		GOP of Thrones--November is coming. Some language is NSFW (sponsored link)  (indecisionforever.com)	(196)
		Obama campaign, March: Romney's a centrist weasel mooching all the progressive hopenchanginess. Obama campaign, April: Romney's a waronwomeny rightwing onepercenter racist douchebag racist  (thehill.com)	(90)
		Think the NFL is happy to have Peyton Manning back? Newly released schedule gives Denver Broncos five prime time games  (espn.go.com)	(47)
		The coolest video of a coronal mass ejection on the Sun you'll see...well...probably ever  (nasa.gov)	(36)
		How do you get press coverage of your new ad campaign? Have Miranda Kerr demonstrate how flexible she is in your workout clothes in front of reporters  (dailymail.co.uk)	(37)
		New Gallup poll finds Americans are worrying less about environmental issues. This is a repeat of every year since 2000  (gallup.com)	(87)

		♪ I got picked in the draft about number two ♫ And I yelled to the reporters, "Yo guys, got stuff to do" ♪ Looked at my kingdom I was ready you see ♫ To sit on my throne as the Prince of DC ♪  (washingtonpost.com)	(27)
(Pajiba)		Before he was Tyrion Lannister's grizzled sellsword on "Game of Thrones," the man who plays Bron used to be one of Simon Cowell's lame British pop stars  (pajiba.com)	(88)
		The world braces for more clasico fever, the greatest soccer match ever..Real Madrid and Barcelona's titanic duel to be crowned kings of Spain, a potential decider for the championship and a new duel between Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo  (eitb.com)	(118)
		Terrified pub patrons getting bum-pinched by a cheeky ghoul who goes by the name of Grasper the friendly ghost. Oh the HORROR  (thesun.co.uk)	(27)
(Some Guy)		Austin Police Department says officer followed procedure when he showed up for a domestic disturbance at the wrong address, pulled his gun on the startled resident, and shot his dog dead in front of him in a span of four seconds  (kvue.com)	(306)
		New trailer for "Tron: Uprising". Master Control Program unimpressed  (insidetv.ew.com)	(111)

		Research finds a strong correlation between body art (piercings and/or tattoos) and unsafe sex, fighting, heavy drinking, and participating in completely obvious studies  (news.com.au)	(135)
		An important, well researched article on how America conducts its aerial wars and assassinations in secret, though it drones on for a bit  (rollingstone.com)	(104)
		First they did away with Saturday mail delivery, and I said nothing. Then they came for Friday delivery, and I sent a strongly worded email  (slate.com)	(266)
		There's a reason why you haven't heard much about Ron Paul lately. He and his supporters have been secretly plotting how they are going to upset Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention  (blog.al.com)	(193)
(Some Guy)		By reading into this news you can deduce that Mandarin is the villain for Iron Man 3  (kptv.com)	(70)
		Don't hate PBR because it's ironic. The Canadian version "has some comforting malt flavours - sugar cookies, toasted corn - which give way to a moderately hoppy finish"  (life.nationalpost.com)	(115)

If there was one politician we needed to make brash and incendiary statements about the Israel-Palestine conflict, it's RON PAUL  (news.yahoo.com)

(160)

		I think I'll just make a u-turn in the middle of traffic. I mean really... what could possibly go wrong?  (youtube.com)	(35)
		I can't hear you over the sound of this drone strike  (foxnews.com)	(52)
		"I asked if there was anything in the vehicle that might get him in trouble. He looked at a red colored gym bag in the front passenger floorboard and then hung his head down"  (nwfdailynews.com)	(84)
		Dodgers' Aaron Harang breaks franchise record with 9 strikeouts in a row. Let's all agree that it's quite an accomplishment, kay? K  (scores.espn.go.com)	(25)
(Some Guy)		Former child stars, fed up with his homophobia, join together to form Child Celebrities Opposing Kirk Cameron, or CCOKC. Basically they think Kirk is a DDIKC. (And yes, she grew up to be hot. Oooh, her too)  (cafemom.com)	(249)
		Let the Bad Astronomer explain why the 49 scientists, engineers, and former astronauts critique of NASA's global climate change policies add up to so much hot air  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(230)

		Your first look inside the mythical wood shop belonging to the greatest man in the world, Ron Swanson  (huffingtonpost.com)	(49)
(Bangor Daily News)		Meet Roosevelt, the only border collie with front-wheel drive  (bangordailynews.com)	(50)
(BlackSportsOnline)		Rob Gronkowski says he will take Tim Tebow's virginity  (blacksportsonline.com)	(27)

(Some Guy)		Kirk Cameron honored with bust for his strong commitment to banana design  (heraldtimesonline.com)	(90)
(Washigton Examiner)		In a scathing commentary on what's wrong with the American government, Joe Biden calls Senator and former comedian Al Franken a 'leading legal scholar'. Wait, he was being serious?   (campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com)	(128)
		Woman steals towel from hotel. And a bedspread. And picture frames, an iron, the ironing board, some rugs, a trash can and the curtains. Oh yeah, and a TV  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(64)
		Study finds strong men more likely to vote conservative -- to enjoy crushing their enemies, seeing them fall, and hearing the lamentation of their women  (telegraph.co.uk)	(131)
		Ron Paul is not planning on endorsing Mitt Romney anytime soon. And by anytime, we mean never. As in, "From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee. To the last, I will grapple with thee"  (wrcbtv.com)	(81)

(Some Guy)		Gov. Rick Scott shows off flattering Miami Herald front page headline on his Facebook page. Miami Herald: LOL WTF happened to "Murders highlight rise in crime in Guatemala?" (w/ pic)  (miamiherald.typepad.com)	(109)
		US Justice Department sues Apple, publishers for antitrust violations on e-book pricing. Read all about it in an electronic report that costs more than the hardcover  (washingtonpost.com)	(432)

		Cool: 102-year-old Bronx man is still parking cars for a living. Hero: And has a girlfriend less than half his age  (nypost.com)	(19)
		Ronnie Wood says The Rolling Stones will begin recording new material this month, assuming they can remember where the studio is  (nme.com)	(52)
		HBO renews Game of Thrones for Season 3. Hodor reacted to the news by saying "Hodor"  (hitfix.com)	(319)
		"What's wrong with scoring in the offseason?" Arkansas fans hold rally for Petrino  (usatoday.com)	(39)
		In typical Canadian fashion, the Toronto Maple Leafs apologize for being the Toronto Maple Leafs  (espn.go.com)	(28)
		Man returns from trip, finds "hidden cellphones" and confronts the wife. The wife grabs a knife and threatens to kill self, their kids, and the husband, maybe even in that order. Is this where I toss in the word Aristocrats?  (tcpalm.com)	(107)
(BattleSwarm)		"Thomas Kinkade was hated because he was liked by the wrong kinds of people: the loathsome Lumpenproletariat of flyover country, the people who had the bad taste to believe in God and vote Republican"  (battleswarmblog.com)	(284)
(Some Guy)		Apparently in Iron Man 3, Iron Man will be battling Gandhi  (collider.com)	(83)
(WHDH)		Police discover five frat boys in basement of house in their underwear and covered in condiments. Not that there's anything wrong with that  (www1.whdh.com)	(112)

		"Authoritarian people have a stronger emotional need for an outlet like Fox, where they can find affirmation and escape factual challenges to their beliefs"  (alternet.org)	(329)
		Hunger Games surpasses expectations and has now raked in $460 million worldwide, taking the #1 spot at the box office yet again. Meanwhile, American Reunion debuted strong, and people saw Titanic 3D for some reason  (deadline.com)	(126)
		Sexual healing may make you feel so fine, but there's better places for it than the lawn in front of the pediatric office  (tampabay.com)	(26)
(Some Guy)		You'd think UFOs would have improved WAY past the flying saucer shape by now, what with modern technology and all. You'd be wrong  (news.gather.com)	(93)

		Lawrence Cobbold has filled every room in his three-bedroom house with a 21,600-strong collection of bird ornaments. Why yes ladies, he is single  (mirror.co.uk)	(64)
		Cruise ship to retrace voyage of the Titanic, to the point where it sank. What could possibly go wrong?  (news.yahoo.com)	(81)
		Thanks to an ironclad prenup, Ruben Studdard only has to give his ex-wife $12,000 and a 2006 BMW. Bonus: no alimony, and he gets the engagement ring back  (tmz.com)	(129)

		The world's top ten food markets. Toronto takes top honours for its outstanding emporium of back-bacon and poutine   (travel.nationalgeographic.com)	(71)
		Sign no. 47 the Mayans were right about 2012: the mainstream media discovers and praises Brony social club in D.C  (washingtonpost.com)	(93)
(Some WV Guy)		State office building going up over old Indian burial site. What could possibly go wrong?  (wvgazette.com)	(51)

		Four women arrested for attacking their waitress after she brought them the wrong lunch order. You'd expect this sort of thing at an Olive Garden, not a Red Lobster  (qctimes.com)	(210)
(Some Guy)		In an effort to hide his receding hairline, LeBron employs the double-wide headband tactic, and fools absolutely no one  (faniq.com)	(75)
		You're doing it wrong: Turkmenistan bans alcohol during 'Happiness Week'  (wrcbtv.com)	(17)
		Astronauts from International Space Station take one millionth photo, promising to be different from the previous 999,999 views of earth  (foxnews.com)	(13)
(Some Scared Guy)		Red Cross now accepting zombie blood donations. What could possibly go wrong?  (redcrosspdx.blogspot.com)	(23)
(KABC-7)		Because neither Gotham City nor Quahog have a Walk Of Fame, Adam West settles for Hollywood's: "He taught me right from wrong, good versus evil, and most significantly, the importance of driving a really cool car"  (abclocal.go.com)	(30)
(Asheville Citizen-Times)		86'd patron returns to bar with a butcher knife and kills three in stabbing rampage. Fark: victim's brother and bar patrons save couple from attack, kill perp. So now the DA's charging the brother, ta-daa  (citizen-times.com)	(215)
		"Hey, is that the Large Hadron Collider?" "Yeah, man" "Well, turn it up"  (pcmag.com)	(40)

		It's a zip line, it's a roller coaster, it's located in Florida, what could possibly go wrong?  (articles.orlandosentinel.com)	(58)
		BCS logic: Let's have a playoff with 3 semifinal games and select 2 of the winners to play for the title. What could go wrong?  (espn.go.com)	(122)
		Ron Paul's supporters are simply too high to actually vote for him  (latimes.com)	(161)

		In honor of the recent announcement about a sequel to "Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy," a local NBC affiliate actually assembles a news team  (youtube.com)	(33)
		Great Moments in Socialized Medicine #9,190: British woman is ordered to find a different doctor from the one she's been seeing for 30 years because her 2-mile trips to see him are bad for the environment  (telegraph.co.uk)	(422)
(Some Guy)		ZOMBIE WARS has begun,Jackson Co man plans to fight to keep wife buried in front yard  (wistv.com)	(50)
		Hilda the hen sits on the wrong nest for almost a month and hatches a clutch of ducklings. Undeterred by her error Hilda proudly struts around showing off her babies  (dailymail.co.uk)	(56)
		Today's erroneous troll headline that requires no editing: "Mad Men is better than Game of Thrones"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(195)
(Poynter)		Obama to reporters convention : That whole "presenting two sides of a story" is fine and well, but sometimes, one side is clearly wrong. So, stop treating it like it's valid  (poynter.org)	(386)
		Game of Thrones characters matched up with real life boxers makes for a surprisingly good, crazy fit  (sports.yahoo.com)	(21)
(Fox Sports)		Milwaukee Brewers release ad featuring "pitching prospect" Aaron Rodgers. Needs some work on his delivery  (foxsportswisconsin.com)	(42)
		Old: Big Oil. Busted: Big Coal. New Environmental Polluter : Big Chicken  (610wiod.com)	(59)
(Some Guy)		"I smear you with the mark of the disgraceful blackface", "The sugar truck's clear, God I miss my other three fingers" and five other universal hand gestures you're getting wrong  (weirdworm.com)	(23)
		Final surviving members of elite WW2 commando unit 'The Devil's Brigade' die within 12 hours of each other in same town. Unfortunately leaving the treasure to Baron von Herzenberger  (dailymail.co.uk)	(44)
		Federal Appeals Court orders the Obama Administration to have the Constitutional Law Professor President give the judges a teaching moment to explain why 200+ years of precedent is wrong  (cbsnews.com)	(425)
		Chief Jay Strongbow finally gets counted out  (bleacherreport.com)	(44)
		Check out the world's quietest place, where just being there is unbearable and can make you hallucinate. Hint: it's not Kirk Cameron's birthday party  (dailymail.co.uk)	(259)

(Some Guy)		Since they can't have Peyton to do it, Colts want to sign Byron Leftwich to tutor Luck  (blog.triblive.com)	(51)
		"Birth control debate Is retro" Which means Republicans are just hipsters trying to be ironic?  (huffingtonpost.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)		Tom Cruise's new movie "Rock of Ages," is worse than Hitler, Pol Pot, and Stalin combined. It's an affront to everything good in life  (justjared.com)	(155)
		Astronomical amount of astronomical data expected from astronomical radio telescope. Astronomical  (wired.com)	(15)
		Since PM Sweatervest put his foot on the throats of Canadian government scientists, media coverage of global warming has fallen 80% according to a leaked Environment Canada internal document  (newscientist.com)	(57)
(Charlotte Observer)		2,000 drinking Vietnam Vets riding motorcycles on a NASCAR track? What could possibly go wrong with that?  (charlotteobserver.com)	(66)
		The quest for quality of life may one day dethrone New York and London, writes wishful thinking journalist who has never lived in flyover country  (slate.com)	(41)

		Neil deGrasse Tyson informs James Cameron that Rose would not have seen that particular star field floating on a door after Titanic's sinking. Cameron changes it to Tyson's specifications for the 3D rerelease  (avclub.com)	(81)
		Our father, who art into gay porn, on a USB stick with autoplay. Thy people come, they see your dong, on a screen in front of the brethren  (gizmodo.com)	(131)
		Calif. set to release $68.4B high-speed rail plan because it will help (a) the impoverished travel affordably between SF and LA, (b) the environment, as people will choose this over their cars, or (c) the contractors  (abcnews.go.com)	(198)
		How to quickly peel a potato. Yes ... you've been doing it wrong  (liveleak.com)	(71)
		Mmmmmichaellll Jjj. Fffffoxxx ddddddoesn'tttt 'ggggivee aa ddddamnnnn' iifff hhheee ssshakessss iiinn ffffronttt oooff pppppeopleee  (starpulse.com)	(56)
		Child killings, incestuous colonies and poor casting decisions all make for a controversial start to the new season of "Game of Thrones"  (mtv.com)	(216)
		"Adults Should Read Adult Books", writes Time columnist. By that logic, Americans should only read American books, and morons should only read Time magazine  (nytimes.com)	(208)
		"Hey, sorority girl - when you ask me why America is the greatest country in the world, I don't know what the f*ck you're talking about." It's the trailer for Newsroom, the new HBO show by Aaron Sorkin  (thinkprogress.org)	(93)
(Some Guy)		Bar patron gets kicked out after getting caught having sex in bar. Does he: A) Apologize and leave bar without incident. B) Plead ignorance and claim that he was not aware that kind of thing was frowned upon. C) Bite off bartender's finger  (timesunion.com)	(86)
		Private investigator says that OJ Simpson didn't kill Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman...it was none other than...THE BUTLER. No, just kidding, he claims OJ's son did it  (dailymail.co.uk)	(231)

		Towing a semi up a treacherous snow-covered mountain road. What could possibly go wrong?  (liveleak.com)	(65)
		And the award for Most Inappropriate Parking Space goes to...School-bus in front of Porn Store, let's have a round of applause  (jalopnik.com)	(84)
		Some fertility clinics now offer home sperm banking kits. Just be sure to clearly label things, because you'd hate to pick up the wrong jar thinking it was Miracle Whip and use it on your sandwich  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)	(24)
		Can Chelsea and Newcastle keep pace with Spurs? Can Mancini's band of morons keep pace with red-hot United? Can Fulham score a goal? It's your weekend EPL thread  (bbc.co.uk)	(276)

		This is what makes Florida so fun: For only $30 you buy the answers to the written exam you have to pass to get your driver's license. And they're being sold right in front of the driver's license office  (local10.com)	(44)
		"What Game of Thrones can teach us about fatherhood." That's like getting marital advice from Curb Your Enthusiasm or career advice from Extras  (salon.com)	(124)
		Spaceman candidate allowed to call himself 'astronaut' on ballot. Other candidates protest, fearing they will be required to list their occupations  (space.com)	(80)

		Opera singer shot multiple times with no explanation. Sometimes it's just the wrong aria at the wrong time  (abcnews.go.com)	(85)
		Without a hint of irony, RIM announces plans to re-focus on what they're good at. Eviscerating its stock strangely absent  (google.com)	(42)
(Some Drunk Guy)		New website lets you do your own whisky blend. Finally, you can have that dram with strong notes of bronze paint in the mouth, a slight aftertaste of [squirrel] nuts and a mustardy finish  (whiskyintelligence.com)	(30)

		Ron Burgundy's long-lost ESPN audition tape surfaces  (espn.go.com)	(33)
		Woman loses half of her body weight by joining friends climbing ladders and running...in front of airplanes  (news.com.au)	(52)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: Man wakes up to find front lawn stolen  (news.com.au)	(27)
(wtol)		Man missed a turn, hit the curb, went airborne, hit the front porch of a house, landed on a car, and came to rest inside a neighboring building. Then it gets interesting  (wtol.com)	(21)
		A woman looks at Ron Swanson and realizes what Fark has known for a long time. Ron Swanson is the greatest man ever  (latimes.com)	(48)
		First trailer for "Safety is Not Guaranteed." This is not a joke, or a Campbell's Soup commercial  (youtube.com)	(37)
		Astronomers estimate roughly 40% of all red dwarf star systems may contain Earth-like planets capable of supporting life. Smegheads  (wired.com)	(68)

		Joe Biden: Romney is "consistently wrong." Isn't that right "Dr Pepper"?  (huffingtonpost.com)	(84)
		GOP rising star leaves party, adding, "I've fought in a war and I've seen the enemy. We don't have enemies in our political environment here...but in today's political environment, you're expected to play the game"  (blog.sfgate.com)	(79)
		Toronto Maple Leafs eliminated from playoff contention, fans surprised it came this late in the season  (cbc.ca)	(132)
		"Is it wrong to have sex with a dead chicken? How about with your sister? Is it okay to defecate in a urinal? If your dog dies, why not eat it?" This are serious article. New York Times are serious paper  (nytimes.com)	(235)
		Woman calls 911, reporting she's "lost in the woods" and doesn't know where to pee. Or, as they call it in Florida, high on meth in her front yard with a gun and a cooler of beer  (wtsp.com)	(47)

		Fox News politicizes "The Hunger Games" saying it's a cautionary tale against big government and carries a strong conservative message  (huffingtonpost.com)	(228)
		South African rugby team which liked to practice on the beach gets into fatal scrum with strong currents; six tackled and presumed drowned  (hosted2.ap.org)	(14)
		Smokers could be more prone to schizophrenia. Millennium hand and shrimp. There is a duck on my head. Your argument is invalid  (sciencedaily.com)	(50)
		New England Patriots, who routed the Broncos twice last season, praise the New York Jets for obtaining Tim Tebow  (nypost.com)	(69)
		Just how did James Cameron tweet from the bottom of the Marianas Trench?  (slate.com)	(72)
		WebProNews credits FARK as the source for the 130 episodes of the Simpsons simultaneously video  (webpronews.com)	(0)

		Woman's attempt to train army of goose astronauts is stupidly cute, completely unsuccessful  (io9.com)	(19)
		Amateur astronomer tries to take a photo of Mars and a passing satellite, ends up capturing the birth of a supernova (w/pic)  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(47)
(Some toy lover)		The Free Universal Construction Kit allows Legos to play happily with Lincoln Logs, Tinkertoys, and more. Complete with an acronym your kids will sure to ask for by name  (fffff.at)	(73)
		Scientists discover that liberals have no idea what conservatives are thinking. Still no cure for Ron Paul  (nytimes.com)	(523)
(Houston Press)		Houston Chronicle society writer revealed to be an active stripper (with photos to show which job she's better at)  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(577)
(Some Guy)		"It's deeply ironic that Zynga, the new king of gaming, has its San Francisco offices in those previously inhabited by Atari, the great games king of the 1970s"  (timeslive.co.za)	(67)
		To curb the imported fire ant we have imported brain-eating flies. What could possibly go wrong?  (palmbeachpost.com)	(51)
		Is it wrong for a wife to use porn to turn on her husband so she can finally get some?  (freep.com)	(82)
		Which back-up QB had the most success? Steve Young, Aaron Rodgers, Brett Favre, or this guy?  (college-football.si.com)	(24)
		For only $28 million you can kick a ball all around David Beckham's front yard  (bittenandbound.com)	(5)
(Some Intero rectogestionist)		Last weekend Richard Dawkins told people to stand tall while patiently showing that atheistic reasoning is inherently stronger than religion...yeah, just kidding. He said to mock people and call them names. The Reason Rally, folks. Yup, Reason  (gatewaynews.co.za)	(lots)
		GOP files suit to prevent Democratic candidate from claiming to be an astronaut. Difficulty: he actually used to be an astronaut  (huffingtonpost.com)	(180)
		Instead of paying Chad Ochocinco $5m to stand on the field and watch Rob Gronkowski catch footballs, the Pats will pay Chad Ochocinco $1m to sit on the bench and watch Brandon Lloyd catch footballs   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(37)

Scientists attempt to jettison James Cameron into the abyss  (news.nationalgeographic.com)

(66)

		Antonio Cromartie backs down from a confrontation with Tim Tebow. This is a repeat of week 11 of the 2011 regular season   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(31)
		Old woman yells at cloud and claims Apple's front doors are a menace  (nypost.com)	(46)
		Haven't changed the way you drive in years? Then you're probably driving all wrong  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(101)
		Colts cut Manning. Manning signs with Broncos. Broncos trade Tebow to Jets. Jets trade Stanton to Colts. Everyone got that?  (espn.go.com)	(47)

(Some Guy)		" Please buy a random person a Guinness every hour today, and that when the surprised patron asks him "Who is this from?" he should reply: "It's from LT Michael P. Murphy"  (big106.com)	(129)
		19-year old entrepreneur has developed a thriving business selling a product that retails for hundreds of dollars and ounce, but unlike most people who fit this description, he has no fear of the DEA kicking in his front door  (news.yahoo.com)	(117)
		Fed up with local children pilfering candy from your Easter display? You should a) talk to their parents. b) move the decorations closer to the house. c) lace a batch of chocolate bunnies with ammonia and hang them from a tree in the front yard  (myfoxdc.com)	(69)

(Some Military Guy)		From the "you're doing it wrong" files: Army tried to erase all information about Staff Sgt. Bales, heroic slaughterer of 16 Afghan civilians, from the internet before they released his name  (military.com)	(118)
		Paris Hilton's poolside Miami appearance reminds onlookers that they've probably got some ironing to do  (dailymail.co.uk)	(95)
		Fox News decides Saint Ronald Reagan never apologized for America. Yeah, about that  (mediamatters.org)	(102)

		Teenagers are learning how to iron, sew and make the bed as part of a school curriculum designed to turn boys into "men". Pretty men with soft hands and delicate smiles that we know get all the girls  (news.com.au)	(280)
		"Newt gave the etch-a-sketch to a kid in the front row and said, 'You can now be a presidential candidate.'"  (dailykos.com)	(84)
		With the Dolphins' QB situation far from settled, Dolfans picket in front of team's training site. Bonus: First-place Florida Marlins staff shows up, trolling for would-be hockey fans  (miamiherald.com)	(20)
(Some Caveman)		Kirk Cameron's board game: "True or False? Prehistoric man may have sometimes lived in caves." "False. [...] Since the first man is mentioned in the Bible's historical record, there has never been a prehistoric man"  (ncse.com)	(323)
		Drug smuggler with license plate SMUGLER staying at the Smuggler's Inn discovers that cops don't have much of a sense of irony  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Everything wrong with the Private Prison industry right here: We even have more people locked up than China-and China is a "police state" with four times our population  (cagle.com)	(160)
		Man dies at faith healing event. You're definitely doing it wrong  (telegraph.co.uk)	(111)

		Woman fails drug test after the urine from the bottle she hid in her hoo hoo also tested positive for drugs. You're doing it wrong  (wtsp.com)	(141)
		Russian dub of "The Iron Lady" goes a tiny bit off script. For starters, Meryl Streep is played by a guy  (slatest.slate.com)	(18)
		You know it was en epic fight with your wife when she rams your car in the parking lot as you try to flee, chases you the wrong way down a highway and rams your car into a utility pole  (wtkr.com)	(51)
		How over is it for Ron Paul? In Puerto Rico, he lost to Fred Karger, a former actor who bills himself as "The first openly gay Republican presidential candidate"  (news.yahoo.com)	(54)
		"When Iron Man isn't fighting for justice, he's actually a property manager in Clearwater"  (wtsp.com)	(21)
		New Hampshire house passes bill that mandates a 24-hour waiting period before an abortion and requires doctors to give women "informational materials" that erroneously link abortions to breast cancer  (thinkprogress.org)	(257)
(Some Guy)		Aaron Paul tweets that "Breaking Bad" will return in July. "Make sure u wear your diapers because I'm pretty sure u will (bleep) yourself"   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(145)

		Nicolas Sarkozy speaks out about shooting tragedy in Fr--OH MY GOD WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN'S FACE  (youtube.com)	(71)
		FAA to revisit its rules on personal electronic devices in flight  (arstechnica.com)	(107)
		Philly rally ends Pittsburgh's 11 game winning streak, fails to end NHL.com's frontpage-pic-a-day of Sidney Crosby. Bonus headline: "Pittsburgh still No. 1 for us"  (nhl.com)	(38)
		More and more senior citizens are using reverse mortgages for financial survival. What could go wrong?  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(52)
		Three new videos released for Prometheus, the movie Charlize Theron says is "the prequel to Thelma and Louise"  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(97)

		And now, a photo essay of an environmentalist's wet dream  (theatlantic.com)	(198)
		British gay marriage law means 'there could be two Queens' on the throne  (thesun.co.uk)	(143)
		Goodbye, my snifter of aged, tawny port. Fare-thee-well old chums in burnished leather chairs - Cohibas glowing in front of that old roaring fire; 'neath the buzzing of the Blatz sign... that one porno on... RIP: The Mancave (1992-2012)   (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(240)

		In an advertising campaign, German company ships out 40 packages that contain an alarm clock attached to a hard drive with a note that reads "Your Time is Running Out". What could possibly go wrong?  (nypost.com)	(31)
		LeBron James says Dwight Howard's "Decision" dilemma is nothing like his, as LeBron's went, "dun dun dun dun-dun-dun-dun" and Howard's went, "dun dun DUN dun-dun-dun-dun"  (espn.go.com)	(85)
		Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Green  (google.com)	(20)
		Why did Bronson Pinchot quit Hollywood to work on houses? Don't be ridiculous  (people.com)	(66)

		Apple still sacrificing recyclability to make thinner iPads, because SCREW YOU, ENVIRONMENT  (arstechnica.com)	(56)
		TN lawmakers embrace UN resolution on sustainable environmental development. Just kidding...they crafted a law banning it because they were afraid the UN was going to institute forced abortions  (tennessean.com)	(121)
		Scientists create material which seems to have been exposed to a stronger magnet than exists on earth, but they didn't use any magnets. Your move, Juggalos  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(37)
		Not only are they less interested in working hard, personal responsibility, achievement, competition, independence, modesty, and moving out of the house, but the new generation doesn't care all that much about the environment, either  (washingtonpost.com)	(246)
		Among the more embarrassing things to crash into while driving drunk - a rehab center. Ironic tag edges out Dumbass  (oregonlive.com)	(26)
(KillSomeTime)		Ultra-awesome TRON light-show dance will warp your mind  (killsometime.com)	(20)

		Ron Paul is offering his delegates to Mitt Romney in exchange for a spot on the ticket...for his son. But they're not colluding or anything  (dailykos.com)	(103)
(Some Guy)		Make sure front license plate is securely affixed to your vehicle before driving around with gloves, ski masks, police scanners, handcuffs, hypodermic needles, blank copies of D.O.T. registration forms,front and back copies of $100 bills  (mega949.com)	(45)
		Calvin Johnson to receive eight-year, $132 million contract from Detroit. In related story, Megatron now worth more than entire city  (sports.yahoo.com)	(113)
		Old and busted: Test-tube babies. New hotness: Test-tube kittens. What could possibly go wrong?  (bostonherald.com)	(35)
		Ron Paul wants you to know he and his 31 delegates are still in the race  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(165)
		"You could look up and see (personal drone aircraft) doing window washing and building inspections. You also could see every jealous husband or wife following their significant other. For good or bad, we are on the cusp of a new era"  (washingtontimes.com)	(30)

		Niles man started hospital fire, claim police. He was probably trying to iron his pants for the first time  (chicagotribune.com)	(35)
		Mike D'Antoni quit as head coach of the New York Knicks after owner James Dolan refused to trade Carmelo Anthony for Deron Williams  (deadspin.com)	(84)
		Grover Norquist excuses Ronald Reagan's 11 tax increases on the grounds that they were okay because he never signed his pledge to not raise them while in office  (thinkprogress.org)	(145)
		Rep. Allen West (R-FL) says the stock market is strong because it has the foresight that a Republican will be elected president in six months  (thinkprogress.org)	(137)
		Russian fox taming experiment, which has gone on for 54 years, may end due to lack of funding. Miniature giraffe breeding program is still going strong  (slate.com)	(51)
		Papa John's bandit described as 18-year-old white male with pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and black olives (pics)  (wptv.com)	(33)
		If you suffer from asthma, bronchitis, ear-nose-throat illnesses, sinusitis, eczema, and/or psoriasis you need to spend time in a salt room lined with layers of salt from the Dead Sea  (azfamily.com)	(64)
		Today's Instant Iron Photoshop Challenge: π (LGT inspiration)  (google.com)	(29)
		Transformer fire cuts power to area of Boston. Megatron seen leaving with multiple Energon cubes  (news.yahoo.com)	(34)
		And the NFL's Due Diligence Award goes to the Chicago Bears front office, trading for Brandon Marshall the day after he was involved in yet another brawl - this time with a woman punched in the eye  (espn.go.com)	(88)
		After firing coach Ron Wilson and hiring Randy Carlyle, the Toronto Maple Leafs are on a tear. Just kidding, they are 1-5 since the new coach and are 10 points out from a playoff spot  (cbc.ca)	(51)
(Some PC Gaming Guy)		How television gets gaming and technology wrong. You'll cry, you'll laugh and punch your monitor all at the same time  (truepcgaming.com)	(108)
		Ninety years ago this month a Russian scientist and inventor was summoned to meet Lenin. It was the start of an incredible journey that laid the foundations for modern electronic music, from the Beach Boys to Pink Floyd  (bbc.co.uk)	(43)

		"If you have a car in your front yard because your garage only holds five, you might be a Romney"  (thedailyshow.com)	(107)
		Spiffy: President Obama is taking British Prime Minister David Cameron to experience an NCAA March Madness game. Sad: Western Kentucky vs. Mississippi Valley State  (cnn.com)	(98)
		Congressional bill seeks to let Astronauts keep some props from when they filmed their fake space missions  (latimes.com)	(6)

		Here's the latest list of the 141 corporations who've requested their ads be pulled from Limbaugh and other right-wing talkers' shows. But Moist Books remain strong in their support  (dailykos.com)	(725)
		The Undertaker *WHAT* is back to *WHAT* confront *WHAT* Shawn Michaels, The Rock will be giving *WHAT* a Rock Concert while John *WHAT* Cena raps. It's *WHAT* WWE Monday Night *WHAT* Raw, 9 PM on US*WHAT*A  (bleacherreport.com)	(2070)
		Former WV Sheriff & county clerk plead guilty to voter fraud. "We knew something was wrong, because the post office closes at 4:30 ... you don't go to the post office at 9 o'clock at night and find ballots"  (foxnews.com)	(113)
		Rmoney hits a bad goto command, instead attempts to load wittycomeback.exe: "If I'm a weak frontrunner, what does that make Newt Gingrich?"   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(131)
		Toronto goalie surprised to discover that Claude Giroux is a magician  (youtube.com)	(23)
		The force is strong with this skywalker  (neatorama.com)	(8)

		Fran Drescher, ordained wedding minister: "I now pronounce you married; you may remove your earplugs now"  (nytimes.com)	(78)
(Some Guy)		Is it really a grilled cheese sandwich if it has macaroni and pulled pork or meatloaf?  (toronto.com)	(132)

		In coach, passengers are reduced to scrounging stale peanuts and tiny pretzels out of the seat cushion, while up front, racks of lamb, fine wines, and exquisite desserts are standard fare. Here comes the science of how they do it  (nytimes.com)	(118)
		The most detailed map of the Game of Thrones world yet  (io9.com)	(27)
		French concept artist Moebius, who made The Abyss, Tron, and Alien even stranger, draws the great beyond. Concept artist trifecta in play  (io9.com)	(80)
		The Texas Rangers will no longer play the video of Nolan Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura on the Jumbotron. In other news, the Rangers have been playing the video of team president Nolan Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura for the past 20 years. LGT video  (youtube.com)	(84)
		If a man is wrongly imprisoned for 30 years, why should the state have to pay up? Shouldn't it be the jury that wrongly found him guilty?  (nola.com)	(139)

		Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Tetrahedrons  (google.com)	(18)
		You know what would really fix what's wrong with this country? Another federal shut-down, that's what  (dailykos.com)	(155)
		In a world where Obama was king... when your life is no longer your own... when everything you know is wrong... a robot renegade candidate will emerge and unite his people in defense of liberty   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(57)
		Woman sues US Cellular after claiming her coworkers routinely looked for nude pictures on phones and created a "hostile working environment," three words which translate into lawyer-speak as "KA-CHING"  (qctimes.com)	(26)
		Man charged after posting dog torture videos tells arresting officers that "everything shown in the videos was for entertainment purposes and that he did not think he did anything wrong"  (chicagotribune.com)	(101)
		Mitt Romney: "I like grits". I assume grits is an acronym for Gems, Religion, Ivy league schools, Topiary gardens and Sailing   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(159)
		You know how RON PAUL says that he favors abolishing the CIA in order to protect individual freedom? Yeah, about that  (thenation.com)	(87)
(WHDH)		Boys engage in friendly game of "seeing who could throw a large rock the farthest". What could possibly go wrong?  (www1.whdh.com)	(52)

		Toronto terrorized by roving gangs of...possums?  (toronto.ctv.ca)	(75)
		"Justice League is everything wrong with comic books"  (comicsalliance.com)	(98)
		James Cameron looks to set deep dive record, recover DiCaprio's body  (news.nationalgeographic.com)	(21)
		Fight attendants say electronic devices are now the number one cause of unruly behavior by passengers who can't understand how they can flummox a 747-8 Intercontinental with something they bought at Radio Shack  (nypost.com)	(379)
		Ron Paul's presidential campaign is the "Snakes on a Plane" of politics  (news.yahoo.com)	(42)
(Some Guy)		Baby who was pronounced dead at birth but was then revived by a hug turns two  (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(37)
(Syracuse.com)		Aaron Sorkin will deliver commencement speech at Syracuse University this Spring. The speech will be delivered during a walking tour through campus hallways and include a lengthy aside about a Gilbert and Sullivan musical  (syracuse.com)	(28)
(SLO Tribune)		Some people just can't handle technology: Bill sponsor pushes wrong button and ends up as the lone vote in opposition of her own bill  (sanluisobispo.com)	(37)
(Some Place & Time)		Iron photoshop ingredient: 1950's Hawaii  (26.media.tumblr.com)	(18)
		Redneck: curiosity leads to shooting bullets at road signs to ding 'em. Scientists: curiosity leads to shooting lasers at molecules to knock a single electron out of its orbit  (redorbit.com)	(9)

		Challenge: Keep your nipples from getting rock hard. Difficulty: Watch this new Game of Thrones trailer  (youtube.com)	(228)
		Two X-class flares from our star have generated a strong plasma wavefront. It should hit Earth over the next two days  (space.com)	(254)
		Air Force's mysterious x-37b robotic space plane celebrates one year in orbit. I for one welcome our new robotic astronaut overlords  (news.yahoo.com)	(33)
		Newspaper whines that San Diego isn't taking the Chargers stadium proposal the newspaper commissioned seriously. Putting it on the front page wasn't enough, evidently  (utsandiego.com)	(16)

		"Melvin Webb, 54, told Reading Crown Court he was not pleasuring himself in front of a female commuter, merely playing a pretend banjo"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(51)
		Because the media still isn't tired of crucifying Kirk Cameron, Alan Thicke and Tracey Gold speak out in reaction to Cameron's idiotic comments about homosexuality  (popwatch.ew.com)	(218)
		Astronomers find an asteroid that has a 1 in 625 chance of hitting the Earth in 2040. Do they a) call Bruce Willis, b) panic, or c) thoughtfully debate what to do about it?  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(243)
		In a move that could not possibly go wrong in any way at all, the annual Thames Barrier flood test coincides with the Queen's jubilee flotilla of 1,000 boats  (bbc.co.uk)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Welcome to an ancient movie-making era lost in the mists of time, with these behind-the-scenes videos of Stan Winston's animatronic dinosaurs for Jurassic Park  (joblo.com)	(14)

(Some Astronaut)		Point a laser at a helicopter at night, and you'll get arrested. Point a laser at the space station, and you'll get a blog post from an astronaut congratulating you (with photo of success)  (blogs.airspacemag.com)	(41)
(Raw Is Subby)		Subby's going to Raw tonight to watch HBK confront HHH, Rock and Cena face off, and more. USA 9:00 pm EST  (wwe.com)	(lots)
		Watch as the baseline model for future hunter-killer drones...err I mean the DARPA cheetah sets a land-speed record for quadruped robots at 18 miles per hour  (youtube.com)	(77)
(Forex)		Greek 1 year bond now over 1000%. Cramer strong buy in 3... 2  (forex-news.co)	(43)
		"Ron Paul: Tornadoes are nature's way of marketing insurance" (sponsored link)  (indecisionforever.com)	(412)
		Ron Paul says what we're all thinking  (huffingtonpost.com)	(129)
		The Simpsons, a la "Game of Thrones"  (io9.com)	(27)
		Kirk Cameron has the opinion on gay marriage that you thought he did  (newser.com)	(207)
		Our expansion strategy can be summed up in five words: "pork donuts and LeBron James"  (reuters.com)	(7)

		Rondo puts up an 18-17-20 in a Celtics victory over the Knicks. But you're totally right, Danny, you should definitely be trying to trade him and his cap-friendly contract  (espn.go.com)	(60)
		What if Disney made Game of Thrones?  (io9.com)	(78)
(Some BlabberMouth)		Guitarist Ronnie Montrose dead at 64 from prostate cancer  (legacy.roadrunnerrecords.com)	(54)

		Mormon church sends out strongly worded letter warning congregants to stop stealing peoples souls  (boston.com)	(120)
		Woman is fined £75 for littering after a thread falls off her glove. What's next? Environmental cleanup fees for leaving skin cells behind?  (mirror.co.uk)	(75)
		Toronto Maple Leafs fire head coach Ron Wilson. GM Brian "Truculence" Burke digs deep in the shallow pool of Anaheim Ducks cast-offs to name Randy Carlyle as his replacement  (cbc.ca)	(48)
		LeBron James goes 8-9 in the 4th quarter, brings the Heat back from 17 down, and takes the game winning...wait, what's that? He passed? Who the hell is Haslem?  (scores.espn.go.com)	(84)

		Canada's conservatives say that reports of calls used to misdirect opposition supporters to the wrong locations are hysteria. All 31,000 complaints. And there's no need to call the police  (theglobeandmail.com)	(87)
(msnbc)		Husband and wife spend $1 million on 5,000 Cabbage Patch Kids. Priceless collection kept in storage along with their valuable Enron stock   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(115)
		From the "Dumb s**t caught on Google's street cams" files: Man caught peeing in his front yard wants 10k Euros for becoming the laughing stock of his village, and now the world knows too  (news.yahoo.com)	(87)

(Billings Gazette)

Man faces assault charge for slapping and kicking a kid who threw snowball at his car. With "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" mugshot  (billingsgazette.com)

(111)

(Some Wall Smasher)		In these days of school shootings, problems with bullies, illiteracy of high school 'graduates', etc, this school is indefinitely suspending a fifth grade girl - for blue kool-aid in her hair. Ironic tag is for the town name  (wcpo.com)	(139)
		Man says Karma helped him win the lottery, will soon buy an El Camino and start righting his past wrongs  (seattlepi.com)	(46)
		UN admits it has let 7500 people die in Syria. Another strongly-worded letter sure to follow shortly  (bbc.co.uk)	(102)

		Will the Mormons in Mesa and millionaires in Michigan help Romney regain status as the frontrunner? Can Santorum win in a Romney stronghold? Is Newt still in the race? Is RON PAUL still alive? Your Arizona and Michigan primary discussion thread  (cnn.com)	(739)
(Some Guy)		In Arizona, they entertain differently. They do a Wild Wild West flavored circus. They also rob differently. They sometimes dress up as a clown at Wild Wild West Circuses and rob patrons at gunpoint  (blackjackchamp.com)	(19)
		People's Front of Syria splits from Syrian People's Front. Splitters  (time.com)	(31)
		In 20 debates, Ron Paul has not attacked Mitt Romney once. He has, however, attacked Romney's rivals 39 times...and criticisms of Rick Santorum make up 22 of those 39 times  (thinkprogress.org)	(141)
		Real world N64 GoldenEye.... dammit Natalya, stop walking in front of bullets  (youtube.com)	(26)
		84 year old driving instructor still going strong, has taught thousands of students to drive with blinker on, accelerate through farmers markets  (telegram.com)	(17)
		How screwed is the GOP in the 2012 fundraising? Well Texans are giving more to Colbert than Romney. So either Texans are really stupid, or they are really stupid. Either way this is good for Ron Paul. RON PAUL  (chron.com)	(67)
		Toronto Zoo orangutans to receive, break iPads  (thestar.com)	(29)
		Even Albuquerque PD aren't immune to true love; delay hauling him in for a parole violation long enough to let him get married at a Chevron station  (dailymail.co.uk)	(22)
		George Lucas doesn't approve every single piece of Star Wars merchandise; here are some rejected ideas that would actually be pretty cool. Who wouldn't want an inflatable replica of Emperor's throne?  (io9.com)	(94)

(onlineathens)		Not News: College student gets his probation revoked. News: Because he was perched on a parking deck peeing on bar patrons below. FARK: He was on probation for painting LOTR graffiti all over campus  (onlineathens.com)	(34)
		In deep space astronomy, time lapse photography takes quite a long time  (apod.nasa.gov)	(15)
		Welcome to the USSA : "Congress has told the FAA that the agency must allow civilian and military drones to fly in civilian airspace by September 2015"  (foxnews.com)	(283)
		Chelsea Clinton turns 32 today, but mom and dad called in a few markers so she'll remain 28 until the 2020 Democratic coronation/convention   (huffingtonpost.com)	(62)
		Trial opens for former Broncos cornerback charged with one count of impersonating Ben Roethlisberger  (news.yahoo.com)	(18)
		Only in Florida do you have to worry about a convicted felon stealing your jewelry, electronics AND your prize winning goat  (wptv.com)	(13)
		Russian TV reporting assassination plot against Putin foiled after the gunman failed to reach the needle inside the egg inside the duck inside the hare, buried in the iron chest under the green oak tree  (abcnews.go.com)	(39)
		Sacha Baron Cohen rubs his ash all over Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars  (tmz.com)	(108)

The military rank and file love Ron Paul. The bureaucrats, not so much  (motherjones.com)

(537)

(Some Guy)

In Kirk Cameron's new film, Monumental, the actor retraces "the footsteps of our Founders from England to America in the hope of discovering our true "national treasure."" Obviously he's referring to the Crocoduck  (stopthehype.com)

(109)

		Photoshop Theme: When advertising characters go wrong (LGT an example)  (i.imgur.com)	(60)
		While the Republican presidential candidates seem to have a monopoly on eccentric billionaire supporters, the Obama campaign fights back with a powerful secret weapon: Merchandising. The Schwartz is strong in this one  (news.yahoo.com)	(54)
		USA Today: Let's just admit that the auto bailouts worked. We can admit we were wrong when we first came out against them, why can't the Republicans?  (usatoday.com)	(272)
(Investors Business Daily)		In front of a group of stunned engineers, Obama claims he can turn algae into jet fuel and then proceeds to do that trick where it looks like he's pulling his thumb off  (news.investors.com)	(196)
		Mitt Romney's position is weaker than you realize, and his approval numbers are worse than any frontrunner in GOP history. Yes, even more than McCain's  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(83)
		Generation Y and Generation Z have merged via their technology to form Generation C. Which makes them sort of like a lazy two-piece Voltron that won't leave its base and whines if a battle gets too hard  (content.usatoday.com)	(92)
		Chevron begins fracking in China because they have 0% potable water, according to the World Health Organization. Real Americans™ are outraged by this potable water gap  (bloomberg.com)	(8)
		New Australian Coroner's inquest may finally prove once and for all that Dingoes did, in fact, eat her baby  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(35)
		Cops take a bite out of crime by arresting a guy who scraped his front teeth across the hood of their patrol car  (nwfdailynews.com)	(30)

		Jonathan Toews crashes car into el-train support beam. Car declared out tonight with a front-body injury  (chicagotribune.com)	(54)
		Photographer chronicles the locales of famous musicians' deaths, but fails to include site of Spinal Tap drummer John "Stumpy" Pepys' fatal gardening accident which remains, at authorities' behest, unsolved  (wired.com)	(20)
		Sacha Baron Cohen NOT banned from Oscars...yet  (hitfix.com)	(13)
		There's one thing the Republican front runners agree on: Obama isn't borrowing enough money  (washingtonpost.com)	(105)
		Vodka billboard advertising "escort quality, hooker pricing" hits home a little too closely for Bronx community leaders  (upi.com)	(16)
		An electromagnetic pulse bomb sneak attack that would destroy all electronics is "quite likely." EVERYBODY PA  (bbc.co.uk)	(195)

		Sacha Baron Cohen has been banned from the Oscars. Very nice, not  (deadline.com)	(115)
		England joins the ranks of "gotcha" liberal elitists afraid of a strong, conservative woman by tricking Sarah Palin into claiming the queen dictates British foreign policy  (smh.com.au)	(87)
(Some Jersey)		Add "burning palm fronds" to the "things that should not be done indoors" list  (courierpostonline.com)	(9)
(Some Guy)		It's Ron de Jeremy to you, buddy   (downtownstpete.ilovetheburg.com)	(47)
(Some Guy)		Where is the worst place to bake meth? c) in front of the most secure nuclear complex in the world  (wbir.com)	(57)
		Band plays intro theme for Game of Thrones at house party  (youtube.com)	(21)
		In another disturbing sign of just how bad the economy is, Pennsylvania cuts its $300,000 animatronic groundhog that was used to promote the state lottery. May God help us all  (wgal.com)	(40)
(Wrexham News)		Half marathon disrupted when vandals change some of the directional signs, sending dozens of runners the wrong way  (leaderlive.co.uk)	(78)
		Weird. Today, on my way to work I saw three or four people with dirt on their foreheads. Someone needs to clean their hands more before touching their face. What is wrong with hygiene in this country?  (fark.com)	(343)
		Rick Santorum, you are no Ronald Reagan. First off, Ronnie talked to chimpanzees. You... well, let's not go there  (dailymail.co.uk)	(63)
		Seattle Times gives Fark a thumbs up for this jewel: "Celtics' Rajon Rondo discovers that you don't get an assist for throwing the basketball at the ref"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(1)

(Some Guy)		Most people who avoid eating gluten are really just avoiding confronting their complete averageness  (medicalnewstoday.com)	(134)
		Big, bad bacterium is an 'iron pirate', according to researchers desperately seeking attention on the intertubes  (physorg.com)	(14)
		South Florida residents finding sticky white goo all over cars and plants. Ron Jeremy, Peter North claim they were in California the whole time  (sun-sentinel.com)	(20)
		Celtics' Rajon Rondo discovers that you don't get an assist for throwing the basketball at the ref  (washingtonpost.com)	(12)
		At campaign rally, Ron Paul denounces Woodrow Wilson, who he ran against several elections back  (news.yahoo.com)	(123)
		Jeremy Lin and a returning Carmelo Anthony blow out hapless Nets continuing Linsanity. Just kidding, Deron Williams put up more points than Melo and Lin combined in a Nets win. Talk about FaiLin  (sports.espn.go.com)	(98)
		Not news: Fast food CEO works a shift at one of his restaurants for an episode of "Undercover Boss". Fark: He's so shocked by the abusive behavior of the shift manager that he breaks cover and confronts him (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(290)

		Victoria Beckham shoots down rumors of a Spice Girls reunion, says it "won't happen" in 2012. Guess the Mayans had it wrong after all  (starpulse.com)	(36)
		In all due fairness to the "kite surfer", that building did jump out in front of him  (myfoxdc.com)	(26)
		Can't afford an iPad? How about a PACPAD? P-A-C as in Pakistani Aeronautical Complex  (cbsnews.com)	(12)
(Some Guy)		The US has four major intel services: The CIA which monitors foreign activity, The FBI which monitors domestic threats, the NSA which handles electronic surveillance and the NYPD which seems to be able to do whatever the hell it wants  (kens5.com)	(82)
		ExxonMobil receives largest environmental fine in British history for misreporting releases of evil CO2 gas  (scotsman.com)	(26)

		Religious group accuses MSNBC of deliberately trying to make conservatives look bad by inviting them onto MSNBC programs and letting them speak in front of cameras  (huffingtonpost.com)	(114)
		50 years after NASA sends a man into orbit, the surviving Mercury astronauts and engineers have a reunion. Scott Carpenter "still waiting for his first shuttle ride"  (msnbc.msn.com)	(15)
		DARPA's Avatar project will "make James Cameron proud." Nothing could possibly go wrong, etc  (engadget.com)	(72)
		Santorum: Public schools an "anachronism". That's "something or someone that is not in its correct historical or chronological time", for those of you who went to public schools  (dailykos.com)	(167)

		Not really news: First Lady Michelle Obama surprises visitors on White House tour. Fark: She shakes hands with a teenager wearing a Ron Paul T-shirt. AWKWARD (w/video & photos)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(345)
		"What was done to our country was wrong and unpatriotic and un-American and nobody has been held to account"  (guardian.co.uk)	(140)
(Some Guy)		While the media is focusing on "Linsanity", Lebron is having one of the greatest statistical years in NBA history  (herald-dispatch.com)	(81)
(Some Guy)		You know how your stoner roommate always swears it's easy to smuggle a baggie of weed past the TSA by hiding it in a jar of Skippy Peanut Butter? He's wrong  (insidebayarea.com)	(113)

		Woman convicted of running down bar patrons gets two years for every time she circled the block looking for more victims  (philly.com)	(107)
		Ladies and gentlemen, Frontier Airlines regrets to announce your flight maybe slightly delayed for technical reasons-namely that the pilot is hammered  (dailymail.co.uk)	(45)
		Oil companies weigh benefits of drilling in arctic. An accident could cause massive damage to the environment, on the other hand it's so remote that perhaps nobody would notice  (komonews.com)	(13)
		In life you can be guilty, and deserve your punishment. Or you can be innocent, but wrongly accused. Or you can be this guy  (news.yahoo.com)	(94)
		Rick Santorum, emphasizing the importance of two-parent families in ecomonic recovery, says strong families will help the poor get back on their feet; critics say it will cost too much to provide every single mom with a new dad  (chicagotribune.com)	(71)

		"I remember going to the Detroit auto show with my dad," says Mitt Romney, in a Michigan campaign ad in front of a photo of the 1964 New York World's Fair  (dailykos.com)	(151)
		Despite half their governors since 1970 serving jail time, Illinois is only the third most corrupt state. Wrong: Washington D.C. is not a state  (stltoday.com)	(28)
		Astronomers identify first 'middleweight' black hole by detecting the Sugar Rays it emits  (upi.com)	(19)
(greenstreet weei)		Rajon Rondo scores career high 35 points, including 15 field goals. Difficulty: Pierce and Allen make only 4 of 16 as Celtics crumble against the Pistons  (greenstreet.weei.com)	(17)
		Monday Night Football sacks Ron Jaworski  (usatoday.com)	(74)
		Iron Sky, the Finnish sci-fi movie depicting an attack on Earth from Nazi communities hidden on the dark side of the moon, just debuted in Berlin. Bonus: it's also coming to the US  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(87)
		Police buy the cemetery plots beside the Powell boys so their father can't be buried next to them  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(295)
(Some Rich Guy)		Website helps you find your "sugar daddy" for financial help in paying for your college degree. What could possibly be wrong about this?  (miami.cbslocal.com)	(147)

		Scottsdale police officer Peters shoots, kills suspect during confrontation. This is not a repeat from 2010, 2006, 2006 again, 2005, 2003, or 2002  (azcentral.com)	(223)
		Apple CEO Tim Cook announces plans to improve conditions at his slave shop. Wait a second, didn't he say just a week ago that nothing was wrong with them?  (cnn.com)	(81)
		In light of how the Republican primaries have gone this year, GOP now "rethinking" the caucus format. Won't somebody think of the RON PAUL?  (washingtonpost.com)	(24)
		"I'm not saying he's a f**, but he's a fa**" -- Iron Sheik on Hulk Hogan. What's even better is that is a direct quote  (youtube.com)	(114)
(WBIR)		Environmental officials try to determine why crude oil is spontaneously seeping out of the ground on Tennessee man's farm, suspect that he may have been shootin' at some food  (wbir.com)	(32)

(KVIA.com)		Cell phone tower disguised as palm tree nearly kills a man after 5ft palm frond impales windshield (w/video)  (kvia.com)	(72)
		Mountain West and Conference USA to form a new super-conference, creating a Voltron of mediocrity  (espn.go.com)	(68)
		Five reasons the federal budget is so farked not even Ron Paul can save it  (csmonitor.com)	(204)
(Detroit News)		In an obvious effort to shore up his support in Michigan before the primary, Mitt Romney writes op-ed saying the government should have let GM go bankrupt. What could possibly go wrong?  (detroitnews.com)	(228)
		Why will Whitney Houston's toxicology reports take weeks? Coroner's office: Because this ain't CSI  (orlandosentinel.com)	(69)

(Some Guy)

Real comic book nerds know Shazam isn't the character's name, it's the magic word Billy Batson says to turn into Captain Marvel. Real comic book nerds are now wrong  (newsarama.com)

(113)

		Weepy eyes, hot chix, Jersey Shore Ronnie and a guy with mini fishing reels stuck in his beard. It's all there in this week's mugshot roundup  (thesmokinggun.com)	(118)
		While Mitt, Santorum and Newt are busy ripping each other apart, Ron Paul is quietly amassing delegates. Stop snickering  (slate.com)	(198)

		Giants fans were holding more then their breath until after Tom Brady threw that Hail Mary toss according to the Department of Environmental Protection  (nypost.com)	(33)
		Attention all: Please join in this protest of Apple's working conditions in hopes to create an "ethical" manufacturing environment - sent from my iPhone  (money.cnn.com)	(56)
(msnbc)		Business 101: Always avoid meetings with time-wasting morons  (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(17)
		BBC news crew manages to track down and confront racist internet tough guy, who was trolling memorial pages on Facebook  (liveleak.com)	(55)

		Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons  (orlandosentinel.com)	(25)
		American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo?  (washingtonpost.com)	(429)

		Will Mittens lick Santorum in Colorado? Will conservatives in Missoura change the race? Will Giant Elderly Baby do any better than third? Who is RON PAUL? It's your Minnesota/Missouri/Colorado Republican election thread  (google.com)	(814)
(Some Guy)		Are you looking to end your romance? Look no further than the Bronx Zoo. For only $10 you can name any one of its 58,000 hissing cockroaches after your, umm...loved one  (magblog.audubon.org)	(40)
		Bank of America Plaza, the tallest building in the American south, faces foreclosure auction on the Atlanta courthouse steps today. AMUSING, OBVIOUS, IRONIC line up to bid  (beta.local.yahoo.com)	(44)
		Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to climb a bronze statue of George Washington riding a horse and sit in the saddle for 45 minutes before the cops get him down  (myfoxdc.com)	(12)
		Will Santorum surge sap Romney's momentum? Will Gingrich give up and move on to a younger, more attractive state? And what the hell is up with RON PAUL? It's your official Minnesota caucus thread  (businessweek.com)	(30)
		Of all the controversial decisions at Sunday's sporting event, perhaps the most important one was: Did the wrong puppy get the MVP award?  (newsfeed.time.com)	(48)
(Some Guy)		Ask to play through to get around some slower players? That's an impalin' with a nine iron  (nbcdfw.com)	(48)

		"Institutionalizing juveniles and branding this as criminal behavior rather than dealing with it as normal behavior wrongly places juveniles in places they should not be"  (npr.org)	(130)
		Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between "balls of steel" and "moron with sluggish survival instincts"  (wimp.com)	(23)
		Gizmodo gives props to Fark for directing their attention to an uplifting story about an elevator rescue gone horribly wrong  (gizmodo.com)	(1)
		While everyone is paying attention to Iran having one of our drones, North Korea actually has several of them in its possession and is reverse-engineering them to make their own drone assault fleet  (foxnews.com)	(95)
		ACLU demands information on drone strikes against U.S. citizens. Coming up next: ACLU headquarters under attack by drones   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(71)
		Ron Paul says "it's hard to say" when or where he might win a caucus or primary this nominating season. Coincidentally, that's the same answer political experts give when asked why he's still in the race  (abcnews.go.com)	(127)
		Today would have been the 101st birthday of Ronald Ree-gan. Here is the trailer from his best film  (youtube.com)	(18)
		The guy in the toga bouncing up and down on the not-so-tightrope in front of Madonna last night? Turns out he's kinda insane and does things with ropes that even your mom won't do  (youtube.com)	(32)

		Remember how Obama said that US drone attacks have "not caused a huge number of civilian casualties?" Yeah, turns out they've been targeting rescuers at the scenes of previous attacks. And firing on mourners at funerals  (salon.com)	(449)
(Q2)		Pilots say any landing you can walk away from is a good landing--even if you have to walk through the living room and out the front door of the house you crashed into. With pic  (ktvq.com)	(50)

		Beleaguered Arsenal FC boss Arsene Wenger uses Sam Wyche Gambit in front of disgruntled supporters group: 'At least we're not like Liverpool'  (thesun.co.uk)	(10)
(Inquisitr)		"Mother Nature Network even made the front page of Fark, another indicator of a meme becoming increasingly viral." We're a positive influence, people. (3rd paragraph shoutout)  (inquisitr.com)	(5)
		Will Romney score back-to-back victories? Will the Sinful State forgive Newt's angry womanizing? Will there be another Santorum surge? And what about RON PAUL? It's your official Nevada Republican caucus thread  (reuters.com)	(320)
(Some Guy)		Ron Paul tells CNN there is a "Zero chance" that he will drop out of the GOP presidential race. It's still better odds than him actually being elected President  (thehollywoodgossip.com)	(147)
		Meet Sauron. The world's most advanced speed camera which detects speed, seatbelt and mobile phone offences at 600m  (news.com.au)	(112)
		Fireman assumes task of guiding plane into landing after air traffic controllers fail to show up for work. Looks like he picked the wrong week to quit drinking  (bbc.co.uk)	(103)
		A new frontrunner for Douche of the Year emerges as a 20-year-old steals a 6-year-old's lunchbox. At gunpoint  (ohio.com)	(91)

		Do you consider yourself to be a non-conformist despite ironically conforming to everyone else? Enjoy your murderphone  (businessnewsdaily.com)	(123)
		Some Carson City prostitutes are donating their tips to Ron Paul. Just the tips?  (bloomberg.com)	(33)

		Photoshop this bronze statue beginning  (cdn.theatlantic.com)	(38)
		I could be wrong, but I believe that this resort advertisement has been Photoshopped  (boingboing.net)	(97)
(Anonymous)		Anonymous exposes Ron Paul's ties to white supremacists, Nazis, Zuul, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria  (pirasec.com)	(358)
		More good news for Mitt Romney as Sharron Angle is set to endorse Rick Santorum   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(11)
		N.J. Democratic lawmakers: "Shame on Chris Christie for abusing the Port Authority for patronage. (Psst, hey Port Authority, how about some patronage?)"  (nj.com)	(13)
		"This deadly cold front is sponsored to you by BMW -- the ultimate driving machine"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(8)
		Russell Crowe may be floatin' round the world as Darren Aronofsky's Noah  (deadline.com)	(54)

		The FBI likes to intimidate suspects by using a chainsaw to go through apartment doors, a technique that's especially intimidating when they saw through the wrong door  (thedailybeast.com)	(208)
(Some Guy)		20 common grammar mistakes even the grammar nazis get wrong  (litreactor.com)	(360)
		How did your team do on Transfer Deadline Day? Can Arsenal beat a strong Bolton side at home? Will the Magpies stomp the hapless Rovers? These discussions and more in this bumped EPL thread  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(194)
(Some Steampunk Guy)		The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing have been blamed for something. Now that's what I call irony  (roarrock.co.uk)	(39)
		DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters  (nytimes.com)	(123)
		You are biatching about the wrong things when you read an article about science  (io9.com)	(16)
		John Elway says the Broncos are in the market for quarterbacks, would settle for having just one  (fannation.com)	(86)
(Some Guy)		Don't you hate when you get wrongfully arrested as a pedophile and have your face plastered on all the newspapers? Again?  (kfoxtv.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)		If you don't stop masturbating in front of the bank teller your face might freeze like that when they take your mugshot  (blogs.riverfronttimes.com)	(28)
		World's strongest boy does push ups the hard way  (youtube.com)	(41)
		Toronto Maple Leafs go up 4-1, only to lose to the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-4 in a shootout. All in great Maple Leafs fashion  (scores.espn.go.com)	(73)

		Banning zombies is discrimination, AND IT'S WRONG  (ajc.com)	(33)
		What happens if you Google "askew"? No, there's nothing wrong with your monitor  (google.com)	(103)
		Movie studio realizes that the only way a movie about Stretch Armstrong could be a worse idea was if Taylor Lautner was the lead  (hitfix.com)	(39)

		Can a woman be a douchebag? This is important, because I'd hate to use the wrong word to refer to the woman who dumped her boyfriend when she found out he had bladder cancer, but still wanted to take his Super Bowl tickets  (news.yahoo.com)	(168)
		Author of the "Don't say Gay" bill thrown out of a restaurant. "If you don't think the way certain people think, then they think you don't have a right to be served," he said, completely missing the irony  (buzzfeed.com)	(215)
(Kitsap Sun)		Drunk 21 year old enters wrong apartment, climbs into bed with 80 year old woman. He told police nothing happened, at least nothing he wanted to admit  (kitsapsun.com)	(35)
		Epic new Game of Thrones trailer will make you wish winter was over already  (tv.ign.com)	(279)
		Today's awesome highlight from 2012 Winter X Games: First snowmobile front flip ever landed in competition  (youtube.com)	(19)

		By the end of the game, a capacity crowd of 18,809 was singing, "We Don't Give A Damn For the Whole State of Michigan"  (rivals.yahoo.com)	(30)
		CNN Asks "Who should be allowed to teach Yoga?" If their answer is anything other than "hot, flexible broads in tight pants", they're wrong  (cnn.com)	(170)