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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		DUDE, the guy in full police uniform probably isn't in on the robbery  (ajc.com)	(81)
		Rick Santorum isn't the only politician with a surging Google problem  (latimes.com)	(68)
		New research reveals Himalayan glaciers may not be disappearing at all, probably because they're too difficult for would-be ice thieves to reach  (theregister.co.uk)	(47)
		Scientists find brains of spiders are so large they fill their body cavities and overflow into their legs, meaning Clock Spider is probably plotting to take over the world  (sciencedaily.com)	(28)

		Are robot cars legal? If not, who volunteers to tell them?  (wired.com)	(45)
(wptv.com)		"You got me red-handed," bank robber actually tells officer after dye packs explode all over his getaway car  (wptv.com)	(29)
		When your friend gives you a ride to work instead of your girlfriend, does your girlfriend a) say you made her look bad and try to run you over in an alley b) hit you with a jack c) burn your wardrobe d) all of the above. With luscious mug shot  (blogs.tcpalm.com)	(100)
		Problem: 87 percent of your schools are failing by your own criteria. Solution: Make scoring 75 percent deserving of an A rating. There, all fixed  (krqe.com)	(103)
		NASA solves the problem of what to do with all those damn pennies  (nasa.gov)	(33)
		RIAA CEO, in a thoughtful op-ed on SOPA opponents, fairly points out that they were probably all criminals  (nytimes.com)	(585)

(Some Guy)		Calling the Suicide Hotline by mistake is now probable cause to arrest you, trash your house, kill your fish and run up your electric bill  (courthousenews.com)	(218)
		Robert Downey Jr. jumped on the crazy baby name train in Hollywood naming his new baby boy: Exton  (dailystab.com)	(87)
(Some Necromancer)		"Your Honor, I don my robe and wizard hat"  (bc-injury-law.com)	(59)
		Robotic sentry orders residents to move along or else. Fortunately, as it's in England, it doesn't have guns...yet  (guardian.co.uk)	(56)
(Some Guy)		Evangelical Christian Group: If a man busted for a half-gram of cocaine in 1988 still can't get a job in 2010 without involving lawyers, there's a problem with the justice system  (breakpoint.org)	(114)
		So just how bad was Pete Hoekstra's "yellow menace" Superbowl ad? Let's put it this way: John Pinnette's famous impression of a Chinese buffet owner was probably more culturally sensitive  (politico.com)	(97)

		If this sport catches on, our Asian carp problem may soon be over  (liveleak.com)	(68)
		Herbicide 'Atrazine' associated with birth defects, low birth weights, and menstrual problems in humans. Study leads to instant ban. Just kidding, it's still the second-most commonly used herbicide in the US  (io9.com)	(33)

(Some " guy)		If you are going to claim that burglars stole your TV and took it out through a window, it's probably a good idea to take some measurements first  (thisissouthdevon.co.uk)	(25)
(Chronicle of Higher Ed)		Not news: Baby tested for fear of rat, dog and monkey. News: Unafraid until accompanied by loud clang. Fark: He was probably autistic, and the shady research psychologists knew it. Ultrafark: The year was 1920  (chronicle.com)	(39)
		When working as a garage attendant, if you park a $400,000 Bentley it's probably best to take the keys with you. FARK: Bentley was owned by college student  (gothamist.com)	(85)

(Some Guy)		Dejected bank robber wearing shorts on his head, not covering his face, leaves without money when teller nearly laughs at him. With pic of what a shorts-on-head bank robber looks like  (keysnet.com)	(36)
		Photoshop this out of the world probe  (farm6.staticflickr.com)	(32)
		Study says Republicans have more orgasms, probably from farking 99% of the population  (thedailybeast.com)	(124)
		Employees at Detroit McDonald's locked in freezer after store robbery, enjoy the break from Michigan weather  (clickondetroit.com)	(17)
		Crematorium to broadcast funerals live on the internet, allowing you to toast the dearly departed in your bathrobe  (mirror.co.uk)	(22)

		House GOP votes unanimously to reject the proposition that the Bush tax cuts added to the deficit. So yeah. Problem solved   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(115)
		Petrobras $25 billion worth of bids offers lots of support to sagging petroboobie economy  (businessweek.com)	(3)
		Screenplay of the Robocop remake to be written by the guy who wrote Gran Torino, contain nothing but racial slurs  (avclub.com)	(52)
		Woman robs bank for denture money after being turned down for bridge loan  (usatoday.com)	(22)
		Crackers recalled due to egg allergen concerns, white people problems  (reuters.com)	(49)
		Problem: the renters you have in your flat aren't even paying close to the prices with which you could gouge Olympic tourists. Solution: evict the tenants. Wow, that wasn't even really much of a problem, now, was it?  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(175)
		Problem: Newt Gingrich needs to woo women voters. Solution: RELEASE THE CALLISTAKEN  (dailymail.co.uk)	(50)
		Santorum tells sick kid who complained about the price of his medicine "People have no problem paying $900 for an iPad, but paying $900 for a drug they have a problem with Why?" Because, of course, people buy a new iPad EVERY MONTH  (abcnews.go.com)	(290)
		The NFL has an L of a problem  (myfoxdc.com)	(89)

(WBNS)		Look, let's go over this one more time. If you rob someone, don't brag about it on Facebook  (10tv.com)	(20)
		Having solved all other problems, Illinois wants to ban texting while biking  (stltoday.com)	(96)
		DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters  (nytimes.com)	(123)
		Problem: Australia infested with invasive African grass that fuels wildfires. Solution: Import elephants and rhinos as lawnmowers  (canada.com)	(113)
(Some Guy)		While you can't stab someone over the internet, science is one step closer to allowing you to robo-bang your significant other while you play Elder Scrolls  (extremetech.com)	(39)

		Man in clown costume robs convenience store, seen escaping in small car with 15 to 20 accomplices  (wxyz.com)	(43)
		In today's you-can't-make-this-shiat-up news, a pro-Gingrich robocall is claiming Romney forced Holocaust survivors to eat non-kosher food  (huffingtonpost.com)	(206)
		Why Boise State has problems recruiting blue chip players. Word "Idaho" strangely absent  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(59)
(Demon Ocracy)		Wondering just how large the Euro debt problem is? This frightening infographic shows you using 18-wheelers packed with 100 Euro notes  (demonocracy.info)	(142)

(DailyFinance)		The list of America's 25 most dangerous neighborhoods. Chicago? NYC? Cincinnati laughs as it robs you at gunpoint  (dailyfinance.com)	(281)
(Some Guy)		Protip: when you go to pick up your ten kilogram shipment of cocaine, you should probably wait until you're off duty. And out of your uniform. And not driving your patrol car  (todaysthv.com)	(28)
		If you break into the CNN newsroom, it's probably best not to use their computers to check your Facebook status  (upi.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		If you're in the Phillippines, do NOT put on your robe and wizard hat  (abs-cbnnews.com)	(31)

(Filmland)		"The Devil Inside" averaged $92 per theater yesterday. Well, this article was written 3 days ago, so that's probably down to...I don't know, $20 maybe  (famousmonstersoffilmland.com)	(98)
		55-year-old Florida man claiming Indian descent wears war paint, headdresses, and performs sacred dance ceremonies at heritage festivals across the state. Some Native Americans have a problem with this (w/ pic of alleged Indian)  (heraldtribune.com)	(164)

Man uses the old "statue of liberty" play to stop a curling iron wielding robber  (toledoblade.com)

(20)

		If Iran didn't already know how to cause serious problems for the US in a future Persian Gulf conflict, they sure as hell do now  (msnbc.msn.com)	(128)
(miami new times)		If you're publishing a high school newspaper article about the dangers of STD's, it's probably best to use a commercial stock photo rather than a picture of a former student  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com)	(27)

		Tim Lincecum passes on 5 year, $100M offer from Giants, accepts 2/$40.5M instead, probably could have been talked into 4/$20M  (blog.sfgate.com)	(44)
		If your wife beats you up when you come home with a haircut she doesn't like, you have bigger problems than just a bad haircut and an aggressive wife (with pics of what an abused hobbit might look like)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(130)
		Three juveniles knock 65-year-old man off bike, try to rob him. Would-be victim obligingly offers them all the bullets he has  (wgal.com)	(196)
		"Let's go around the room. Tell us what you're in prison for." "Rape." "Murder." "Red-light camera theft." "Making faulty tits." "Robbed a ba-- wait, dude, what?"  (cbc.ca)	(30)
		Guarding the door during a bank robbery and trying not to shoot yourself in the foot is tougher than it sounds  (shortlist.com)	(10)
		It's FARK word problem time: If a four-year-old boy pulls nine bags of weed out of his jacket pocket and hands them over to his teacher, how many of those nine bags will make it to the police evidence room?  (reuters.com)	(43)
		Substantive policy driven interview with Ron Paul. Well, the first half anyway, the rest is about the probable, not very likely, but not ruled out, 3rd party candidacy, that may or may not be under consideration that is off the table  (npr.org)	(24)
(Some Guy)		Woman On Run After Bank Robbery. Police describe her as tough and ruthless. Wait. Correct that. Police describe her as rough and toothless  (wtae.com)	(38)

		Did we mention that Mormons like to baptize dead Jews in order to "save" them? That shouldn't be a problem in Florida, should it?  (huffingtonpost.com)	(334)
		... so here's an armed robber with a plush Harry the Husky hat  (sportsgrid.com)	(12)
		Emma Roberts to play a sex-shop employee in her nex-- REALLY? Everyone clicked already?  (starpulse.com)	(54)
		Pro tip: If you're trying to defuse an artillery round, an acetylene torch is probably not the best tool for "tinkering" with it  (news.com.au)	(73)
		Man who was arrested by police for robbing a police officer at knifepoint and fleeing capture while naked tells judge that he can't be prosecuted because he was possessed by something "joyriding" in his body  (abc.net.au)	(30)
		Mitch "Single Most Important Thing" McConnell (R-eptile, KY) - "(Obama's) goal isn't to conquer the nation's problems. It's to conquer Republicans"  (abcnews.go.com)	(118)
		My micromechanism thanks you, my computer tapes thank you, and I thank you. And we thank you too, Robot  (dailymail.co.uk)	(7)
(CBS Charlotte)		Three men attempt home invasion robbery with handgun, shotgun and sword, are fought back by homeowner and another resident who introduces them to his little friend. Or as they call it in South Carolina, Tuesday  (charlotte.cbslocal.com)	(47)

(Kingsport Times News)		Tennessee DOT says I-81 meets safety standards and those cars flying off the highway into your yard are your own problem  (timesnews.net)	(55)
(Some Guy)		Protip of the day: If you are going out drinking with a 13 year old, it is probably best not to let her drive, especially if she is drunk  (ktvb.com)	(30)
		Climbing trees. Fun as a kid. However if you're an adult and you're doing it to peep into people's houses, Police might have a problem  (wgal.com)	(21)

(Some Guy)		After failing to ban Sharia law, the Oklahoma state legislature is ready to solve another non-problem: new bill bans use of aborted fetuses in food. My omelette could really use more embryo  (addictinginfo.org)	(125)
		Detroit's latest problem: coyotes. Nothing the Red Wings can't take care of  (wxyz.com)	(100)
(Some Hippie)		First world problem: effects of organic milk shortage felt in Boulder  (dailycamera.com)	(140)
		Botched Waffle House robbery leaves man scattered and splattered  (ajc.com)	(112)
		11-year-old autistic boy beaten up while wearing a Trollface shirt. Problem?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(241)

(Some School Guy)		When Texas finally becomes its own country, they won't have this problem  (dfw.cbslocal.com)	(232)
		To commemorate the Giants playing in the NFC Championship game, the Empire state building was supposed to be lit blue. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can probably guess what happened  (nj.com)	(77)

		Yet another Bonnie & Clyde robbery  (news.yahoo.com)	(32)
		Billionaire gives $7.5 million to help Washington recover from earthquake damage, crack problem  (washingtonpost.com)	(37)
		13 photos of President Obama speaking at Walt Disney World that will probably show up in attack ads  (buzzfeed.com)	(100)
		Cell phone goes off during a classical concert? No problem, just improvise a tune based on the ring tone  (youtube.com)	(39)

		Pro-tip: Don't rob a bank using your own car as a getaway car if your last name is printed on your vanity plates  (utsandiego.com)	(38)
		Dropped your phone in the toilet? Three new companies say "No problem" but Subby says "Let it go man, cuz it's gone"  (news.discovery.com)	(23)
(Courthouse News Service)		Protip: if the "clinical trial" in which you're participating costs you $100,000, you're probably only getting a cashectomy  (courthousenews.com)	(34)
		Deep-rooted hatred is causing more and more Afghans to kill the very same American soldiers training them. You know, a nice game of Buzkashi would probably release some of that tension. It's worked before, I know that much anyway  (msnbc.msn.com)	(132)
(ProBoxing-Fans)		So Mayweather called Pacquiao and he said that he said that they said that the fight might probably get done. Maybe  (proboxing-fans.com)	(35)
		One violent sex crime was committed by a soldier every six hours and 40 minutes in 2011. While I admire the stamina, they should probably stop him  (news.yahoo.com)	(146)
		If you're angry about how little Mitt Romney pays in taxes, what that probably means is that you don't have the deep, thorough understanding of "tax rate" vs. "tax bracket" that USA Today can give you  (usatoday.com)	(162)

		The secret to being a hipster revealed in new Harvard study, you've probably never heard of it  (dailymail.co.uk)	(89)
		Parent company of Old Country Buffet files for bankruptcy after realizing that running an "All You Can Eat" restaurant in a country undergoing an obesity epidemic probably isn't such a hot business model  (cbsnews.com)	(60)

(TheOatmeal.com)		Out of all the SOPA blackout messages, the Oatmeal probably has the best one  (theoatmeal.com)	(36)
(Some Guy)		Cuba takes lead over U.S. in Civil Rights by considering gay marriage. What's next in Bizzaroworld? Bay of Pigs in America? That would probably be Rosie O'Donnell's pool  (globalpost.com)	(30)
		Man tries to rob a gambling parlor by threatening to infect everyone with a staph infection. It makes you long for the days when the bad guy just used a hypodermic needle filled with tainted AIDS blood  (startribune.com)	(8)
		"A bottle of wine or a bottle of beer for a dollar could attract problems" I got 99 problems, but sobriety thanks to Dollar General selling alcohol ain't one  (indystar.com)	(91)
		If Drew and Microsoft agree that something is bad, then it's probably pretty damn bad. And Drew and Microsoft agree that SOPA is bad. QED  (zdnet.com)	(46)
		Well, on the plus side, she'll probably listen next time a man tells her to walk around the back of an airplane  (foxnews.com)	(88)
		Detroit "educators" double-down, say they have no problem using slavery to teach math. Followup tag leans on Fail tag's shoulder, weeps in despair  (upi.com)	(21)
		Russia warns strike on Iran would be a 'catastrophe.' Yes, catastrophic for Iran, but the rest of the world would probably get over it  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)	(28)
		Anyone who's ever had to deal with a drunk guy at a party knows how annoying they can be. But it's even worse when you're trying to commit armed robbery  (youtube.com)	(7)
		"Smoking object" thrown at White House during protest while Obamas were mere blocks away. It was an OWS protest, though, so let's not make any fast judgments or assumptions. Poor little scamp probably just wants to be loved  (cnn.com)	(57)

		"Fixie Index" measures hipsterness of major American metropolises by percentage of fixed-gear bikes per person. It's from an obscure price guide blog you probably never heard of  (theatlanticwire.com)	(51)
		Arsenal spot talent in their star striker Robin Van Persie's 5 year old son, attempt to sign him to a long term contract. No, seriously  (soccernet.espn.go.com)	(23)
(Some Guy)		Students name NASA's twin moon probes 'Ebb' and 'Flow'. You can't explain that  (collectspace.com)	(23)
		Base jumper hurt. Probably would've died if he jumped from the top  (bbc.co.uk)	(85)
		Barber with enormous balls refuses demands and dares armed robber to shoot him. The robber obliged, but the gun had other ideas  (ohio.com)	(99)
		In hindsight, prison probably wasn't the best place to be tripping balls on LSD  (startribune.com)	(62)
		What do Fabio Cannavaro, Robert Pires, Hernan Crespo, Maniche, and Robbie Fowler have in common? They'll all be playing in the (Indian) Premier League next year  (guardian.co.uk)	(16)

(Some Guy)		Mini Coopers recalled over mini fire problem  (kvia.com)	(55)
		I'm not sure who Briona is or what she did, but she's should probably request a school transfer  (youtube.com)	(57)
		Carnival shipwreck becomes a hull of a problem for the stock price  (marketwatch.com)	(87)
(Some Guy)		You think you have it bad? You probably didn't spend $240,000 to see the Packers lose this weekend  (nfl.com)	(90)
(QC Online)		Not one, not two, but three sets of identical twins work at the same Hy-Vee grocery store, which confuses customers and probably leads to some awkward dating moments  (qconline.com)	(85)

Don't worry. We can probably guarantee the monkey with the human baby face won't be outside your window tonight, scratching to get in. Well maybe we can guarantee. Who are we kidding? He's out there now  (liveleak.com)

(21)

		Two middle-schoolers use stolen passwords to erase class information and send out "poorly written pornographic e-mails." There were some subject-object problems and they did it Chicago style instead of MLA  (washingtonpost.com)	(83)
(3 hots & a cot)		If only they were all this easy. Man robs bank, hails cab & then calls 911 to turn himself in. That he's homeless and it was 14 degrees the previous night probably had nothing to do with it  (wcpo.com)	(43)
		If you would like a Russian Mars probe, this weekend could be your unlucky day  (news.yahoo.com)	(25)
		Not to alarm anyone, but the robots are planning to put us in zoos, you know, for our protection. No mention of stealing old people's medicine  (youtube.com)	(17)

		NASA image showing China's pollution problem.. FROM SPACE  (gizmodo.com)	(100)
		Stationery chain offers porn-themed products in back-to-school sale. Who could possibly have a problem with that?  (news.com.au)	(25)
(Some Guy)		Cops in uniform caught meeting up in empty parking lot and playing football. (with pics) Some people have a problem with this  (13wmaz.com)	(83)
		Woman claims she cared for and fed all 82 dogs on a regular basis. Plus, her lawn probably looks awesome  (washingtonpost.com)	(28)
		The 10 most talented robots in the world today: "The Flying Machine Project is one of those things that makes us go, 'Why didn't we think about this before?'"  (news.discovery.com)	(24)
(Some Motorcycle Rider)		If you're a nine-year veteran of Grand Prix motorcycle racing and former World Champion, it's probably a good idea to get a motorcycle licence  (carolenash.com)	(14)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: "Rob Schneider is funny even if his new sitcom isn't." Because when you think of funny, you think of Rob Schneider  (slate.com)	(96)
		Bank robbers, car crashes, citizen delivering a smackdown, high school lockdown, highway closure, traffic nightmare, a robot and an explosion, or as it's called in San Jose, CA "Thursday"  (sfgate.com)	(24)
(Some Guy)		If you're a top official in the Game and Fish Department, you probably shouldn't take your friends out on illegal bear hunts  (adn.com)	(30)
		17-year-old boy goes to school dressed as a girl. Yes, some people have a problem with this (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(192)
		Robert Pattinson shaves off his hair. Luckily for Kristen, decides to keep his beard  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(39)
		Newt Gingrich ad attacks Mitt Romney for being able to speak French. What else isn't Romney telling us? The guy can probably read and add, too  (politico.com)	(154)

		Labor Department offers $20 million in grants for organizations to help former prisoners find work so they can get their lives back in order. Surprisingly even Fox News doesn't have a problem with this  (foxnews.com)	(77)
		Iran: "Our nuclear scientists are randomly asploding." USA: "Wasn't us." Israel: "I understand there has been a problem with suicides among the scientists, LOL"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(265)
		New York City health department has found their newest spokesperson against the dangers of super-sizing: a diabetic amputee. Naturally, some people have a problem with this. Mostly, though, they work for fast food companies   (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com)	(127)
		President Obama singing Lady Gaga's Born This Way. I'm sure nobody will have a problem with this at all  (youtube.com)	(21)
		Hulk ROB  (metro.co.uk)	(27)

		Old and busted: Roomba. New hotness: robot air purifier that seeks out and destroys odors in your house  (pcworld.com)	(25)
		Romney's "I used to worry about getting fired too" line reveals that in his own mind, he believes he's a self-made man. Which is a problem because "delusional" is a bad thing for a president to be  (news.yahoo.com)	(187)
		Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of "The Supremes vs. America," where the Black-Robed Cabal declares arbitration clauses are people, too  (npr.org)	(107)
		Classic albums recreated with clipart and comic sans. Probably by someone who still uses a walkman. Ironically  (shortlist.com)	(24)
		Having solved all the city's problems and determined to crush southern California's last remaining thriving business, LA City Council votes 11-1 to require condoms in porn productions  (nydailynews.com)	(84)
(cbs local)		If you're a NYC teacher trying to get time off by faking a jury duty note, it's probably a good idea to use a calendar and spell checker  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(51)
		Fidel Castro endorses a robot for President of the United States, completely unaware of the 58% chance of a fatal robot attack  (blogs.villagevoice.com)	(44)

		Japanese artist paints the most amazing 3D goldfish you'll honestly probably ever see, by building them layer by layer out of paint in liquid resin  (liveleak.com)	(39)
(kcra.com)		Well, that's your problem, right there  (kcra.com)	(80)
		Armond White takes his trolling to the New York Film Critics Circle Awards, keeps shouting "THE GOOD SHEPHERD" at Robert De Niro  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(41)
		Sony says the reason Google TV failed is because it was *too cheap*. They're fixing that problem with the relaunch  (gizmodo.com)	(52)
		Having solved all other problems in the state, Maryland lawmaker wants to legislate fantasy football  (washingtonpost.com)	(66)
		We who live in prison, and in whose lives there is no event but sorrow, have to measure time by throbs of pain, and the record of bitter moments  (slate.com)	(65)
		Outgoing Mississippi governor notes the lack of news stories concerning Southern Governors doing crazy things. Fixes that problem the only way he knows how  (sfgate.com)	(95)
		Old and busted: mocking Detroit residents and their socioeconomic problems. The new hotness: Lions cornerback Aaron Berry mocking Detroit residents and their socioeconomic problems  (sports.yahoo.com)	(46)

		Daniel Radcliffe hated putting on his robe and wizard hat  (showbizspy.com)	(47)
		Problem: You want to burn all your love letters to your ex. Difficulty: They're all in email form. Solution: SHUT DOWN NEIGHBORHOOD  (thedenverchannel.com)	(46)

McDonald's to use new anti-theft DNA spray on suspected robbers -- otherwise known as 'special sauce'  (news.com.au)

(27)

(Teh interwebs)		Here's every single gun in RoboCop. Yes, that one. And that one too. Oh, and THAT one  (imfdb.org)	(72)
		The best video of an acrobat flipping five bowls onto her head with her foot while on a unicycle that you will probably see this morning  (youtube.com)	(25)
		Tim Burton wants Robert Downey, Jr to play Geppetto in a live action Pinocchio movie. I've got wood  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(32)

(Some Guy)		Dissection animals, the God Jesus Robot, the Carp Person, and other weird toys from Japan  (incrediblethings.com)	(21)
		Pop quiz hotshot, your star WR has violated his probation for DUI; do you keep them on the team? Well, what is your answer Brady Hoke?  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(18)
		Will New Hampshire's much-hyped bloc of independent voters give Jon Huntsman and Ron Paul a win? Probably not, because they don't exist  (motherjones.com)	(20)
(Some Guy)		Naked man goes viral, should probably see a doctor about that  (news.ninemsn.com.au)	(11)
		While it might be cute in a sitcom, accidentally handing over your gun to the cashier you're robbing isn't ideal in real life  (shortlist.com)	(7)
(wlbz.com)		A man robbing a Dallas hair salon demands all the cash for himself, all the change for his kids, and the best hair extensions because, "My b**** needs some hair extensions"  (wlbz2.com)	(21)
		Man robs the elderly, steals donation jar, caught before taking candy from a baby  (mysuncoast.com)	(15)

		Today's criminal who's definitely NOT a farker is a guy who robbed an adult store for just the cash, incense and potpourri  (kentucky.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Woman gives birth to 15 pound, 7 ounce baby. Man, this childhood obesity problem is really getting out of hand  (duluthnewstribune.com)	(80)
		Frustrated that Pat Robertson won't spill the beans on Fartbongo's re-election chances? Get yourself a Warlock. Apparently the Mexican ones work best  (huffingtonpost.com)	(21)
		Robert Duvall is 81 today...and among his lesser-known awesomenesses is his singing talent. Yeah, he can hold his own in a duet with Emmylou Harris  (youtube.com)	(63)
		Michigan congregation opens tattoo parlor inside their church. Leviticus may have a problem with this  (mlive.com)	(31)
		Scientist using Velociraptors as inspiration for next generation of robots. Sleep tight  (foxnews.com)	(16)
		Former News of the World editor takes over at the New York Daily News. Apparently some folks have a problem with this  (guardian.co.uk)	(18)
		US arson suspect faces German fire probe. German fire prober tells him he's facing the wrong direction  (google.com)	(16)
		When a judge finds it "highly implausible" 11 panelists would "stick their noses in jars of excrement and report 44 independent times that they smelled nothing unpleasant," you'll probably have to pull your commercial  (chron.com)	(40)
		Things you probably shouldn't do while driving: texting, putting on makeup, making meth, reading the...wait, what?  (orlandosentinel.com)	(12)
(Some Guy)		You probably made some bad choices in life when police find your body on fire on the side of the road and have to release pictures of your tattoos to see if anyone can identify you  (wtkr.com)	(28)

		Man takes a Kinect, a couple of Wii remotes, a pair of cameras, a VR helmet, and a robot and does the logical thing: creates a device to help groom his cat  (joystiq.com)	(17)
		Guess who knows who the next president will be? God. Guess who God told? Pat Robertson. Guess who Pat Robertson is going to tell? NOT YOU  (huffingtonpost.com)	(184)

(ACLU)		ACLU's Liberty Watch 2012 issues its Civil Liberties Report Card on the candidates: Highest Score (and lowest probability of actually being elected): Gary Johnson  (aclulibertywatch.org)	(39)
(Some Guy)		Did you hear the one about the beach in Norway that has a herring problem?  (couriermail.com.au)	(22)

		Meet the highest-paid CEO in America: a guy you've never heard of running a company you probably don't know, but who made $145 million last year  (thedailybeast.com)	(248)
		Robert Anderson, who played Darth Vader in the lightsaber duels in "Empire" and "Jedi" dies at 89. Will be digitally replaced by Hayden Christiansen at the funeral  (washingtonpost.com)	(109)
		That rustling in your back yard? Probably just a rabbit, or a deer, or an Iraq war vet armed-to-the-teeth who's living in the woods and has taken to hunting humans. Fark: EVERYBODY PANIC-worthy photo  (cbsnews.com)	(246)

(Protective People)		Police ponder public porn problem? Pfft, proliferation protests push puritanical principles. Protecting pre-pubescent progeny praiseworthy, providing poised policy pursued  (windsorstar.com)	(44)
		Imperial probe droid crash lands during Insight Bowl. Goes out of bounds at the 45 to stop the clock  (youtube.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Key West -- which writers Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, Robert Frost, Judy Blume, Robert Stone, Jim Harrison, Maria Bishop, Mark Childress and others have called home -- is down to one bookstore. Sad easily trumps Florida  (keysnet.com)	(142)
		Although the idea sounds great on paper, in real life if you're a voice teacher you probably shouldn't encourage your female students to strip and touch themselves sexually to help improve their vocal range  (seattlepi.com)	(78)

		Lancaster, PA continues its tradition of complicated answers to simple problems  (philly.com)	(43)
		Protip: If you're already on probation for cockfighting, avoid going to the post office to pick up deliveries of live roosters  (palmbeachpost.com)	(17)

		Modern day female 'Robin Hood' robs bank, then doles out the money to the poor in the forest. Okay, so it was kids in a park  (foxnews.com)	(34)
		If you live in the projects and think it will be a good idea to rob a bank in the wealthy suburbs, it might be a good idea to get a getaway car that won't stall out and die in the bank parking lot  (wwl.com)	(30)
		♫ On the 12th day of Christmas a robber gave to me / A written apology ♫  (970wfla.com)	(7)
(SaveMeFromBoredom)		Robber gets knocked out and forced to wipe up his blood  (savemefromboredom.com)	(18)
		NASA's twin GRAIL probes closing in on moon orbit, just need to pass through the cave of Caerbannog  (physorg.com)	(26)
		Batman and Robin do Superman. No, not like that  (sportsgrid.com)	(15)
		Robert Reich's prediction for 2012 (based on absolutely no inside information): Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden swap places, Biden becomes Secretary of State - so get ready for a Obama-Clinton Presidential ticket  (huffingtonpost.com)	(83)
(Some Guy)		After armed robbery and two shootings, cops are asking: Do you recognise this butt cleavage?  (couriermail.com.au)	(43)

		Sorry, the bank is closed due to 'communications problems' with the corporate office, and by 'communications problems' we mean we can't hear anything because someone blasted a hole in the wall and cleaned out the safe  (myfoxdc.com)	(88)
		Impatient man robs a Wendy's after ordering and paying for his food  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)	(21)

		Online internet web group of cyberspace computer virus hackers known as "Anonymous" is planning to invade your homes through the You Tube. Luckily, WND has enough heirloom seeds and robot insurance to quell the oncoming hordes  (wnd.com)	(176)
		Sixers player convinces would-be robber not to rob, then treated him to McDonald's  (espn.go.com)	(16)
		What do you call it when someone steals money secretly? Theft. What do you call it when it happens openly by force? Robbery. And if a politician takes takes it in taxes and gives it to someone who is more likely to vote for him? Social Justice  (townhall.com)	(76)
		Robber pulls the old "hard object in the back" routine. Employee counters with the "real gun face-shootin" maneuver  (indystar.com)	(208)

		San Antonio leads list of best US economies, probably because they don't bother with salsa made in New York City  (forbes.com)	(69)
		18-year-old's Facebook status: "Yo dawg, just robbed a store in Pittsburgh. Here's a picture of them loot." *The Pittsburgh Police Department and 4 others like this.*  (abcnews.go.com)	(135)
(Springfield Republican)		Compact fluorescent lamps could burn your house down (but probably won't)  (masslive.com)	(159)
(Some Blog)		PROBLEMS: Your candidate isn't going to win the primary, and SOPA may not pass. SOLUTION: BLAME ANONYMOUS   (thenewcivilrightsmovement.com)	(178)
(azfamily.com)		Man who found a burnt cross and a threatening note tied to a brick in his yard thinks whoever left them there is either a racist or has a problem with his DirectTV installation business  (azfamily.com)	(79)
		If you're on the verge of winning your Fantasy Football pool, it's probably because you drafted David Akers as your kicker  (seattlepi.com)	(93)

		10 ideas you'll want to understand (but probably won't)  (newscientist.com)	(27)
		Family of seven arrives at million-dollar beach home ready to start glorious 10-day vacation. However, there's just one small problem  (sun-sentinel.com)	(53)
		Michele Bachmann heckled by gay robot. Subby, for one, welcomes our new fabulous robot overlords   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(48)

		Toll booth robber: "Give us all the cash." Toll booth worker: "Dude, you're in the E-ZPass lane"  (nj.com)	(49)
		In a televised stock market discussion about liking Dick's Sporting Goods, it's probably best to use the company's full name  (liveleak.com)	(24)
(Aspen Daily News)		Aspen Colorado solves homeless problem by sending the homeless to North Dakota where they'll be cryogenically frozen for future generations  (aspendailynews.com)	(75)
		Cafe owner posts sign of himself threatening Santa with a knife, saying "Eat here or the old bastard gets it". Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (dailymail.co.uk)	(34)
		Is Obama administration probe of Sheriff Joe a ploy for Hispanic votes? Aquí venga la política  (blog.chron.com)	(114)
(Some Drunk Robber)		Out of money to pay your bar tab? Why, just go rob the bank next door, then go back to the bar, pay your tab and finish your beer  (newportrichey.wtsp.com)	(25)

Several massive explosions rip through Not Our Problem Anymore, killing {we are no longer required to care} people  (news.yahoo.com)

(356)

		"Chicken bones are not, in principle, problematic"  (theregister.co.uk)	(37)
		This is what Kobe Bryant dropped his wife for...allegedly. No nudity, but you'll probably want to wait until you get home  (withleather.uproxx.com)	(107)
		Tis the season... for "ingenious robbers caught after police followed their tracks in snow" headlines  (thelocal.se)	(13)
		The pros and cons of flying nude. Problem #1: the flaps  (news.com.au)	(70)
		Blackberry maker Research in Motion (RIM) turned down a sale to Amazon this past summer, saying they can fix their own problems. Stock price 1 yr ago: $60 -- this summer: $30 -- today: $12  (pcmag.com)	(59)

		HBO cancels three shows you probably weren't even watching in the first place  (warmingglow.uproxx.com)	(99)
		Bank robber: Give me all your money or I'll hot glue you into a Christmas ornament  (wishtv.com)	(17)
		Actual headline: "Can loving a robot lead to divorce?"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(83)

(Some Guy)		If you're having sex with another man under the "Welcome to Caseyville" sign, you're probably not going to get off with a warning. Not even you, Sheriff. (with creepy mugshot)  (bnd.com)	(105)
		Rob Lowe's epic Lifetime Movie trailer...EPIC   (warmingglow.uproxx.com)	(67)
(Some Guy)		What do Apple, Oracle, Microsoft, eBay and British Telecom have in common? Probably lawyers and certainly a hatred for all things Google  (fosspatents.blogspot.com)	(18)
(Some Guy)		This is why SOPA will probably get voted for by the Judiciary Committee. Enjoy  (opensecrets.org)	(143)

		England says you are too dumb to get married or have a baby? No problem, just go to Ireland  (dailymail.co.uk)	(85)
		Trend: designer firewood. Subby gets his firewood from old-growth forest. It's independent woodland, you probably haven't heard of it  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(52)
		And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots  (theatlantic.com)	(29)
		When you're dressed in women's clothes and trying to rob a McDonald's, running into a hungry Homeland Security agent can be a real drag  (palmbeachpost.com)	(38)

		Russia's failed Phobos-Grunt Mars probe, which failed to reach orbit, will fall to Earth sometime in early January. Where will it land? No one knows. When will it land? No one knows. Will it kill you? YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD. DO NOT PANIC  (news.yahoo.com)	(30)
		Members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will be erecting their holiday display this weekend at the Loudoun County, VA Courthouse. Naturally, some people have a problem with this  (washingtonpost.com)	(439)
		New study says that bedbugs are repelled by hairy humans. Robin Williams sleeping soundly tonight  (bbc.co.uk)	(29)

		"It's reshaping the pattern of demand in the economy, redirecting production into goods that are complementary to Skyrim, like more comfortable chairs and surgery to correct vision problems associated with excessive Skyrim-playing"  (slate.com)	(68)
		FBI swept a probe of Gingrich's involvement in an illegal $10 million arms deal under the rug. The FOIA is there  (washingtonpost.com)	(75)
		Bonds sentence for obstruction of justice to include probation, fine, community service, and wearing an asterisk upon his breast  (clickorlando.com)	(12)

(Poughkeepsie Journal)		Teacher A misses a staff meeting and is questioned on her absence by Teacher B, whereupon Teacher A pulls out a screwdriver and gets all stabby. If the screwdriver is 16cm long, what is the probability of the stabbing happening in Poughkeepsie?   (poughkeepsiejournal.com)	(52)
		Yes, frat boys, we know you like rape. But creating a "who would you rape" survey for your brothers to take online will probably strike some people as inappropriate  (cnn.com)	(149)
		The government can't require you to get an ID. But has no problem requiring you to buy Obamacare  (jsonline.com)	(220)

(Morning Examiner)		Since his election, President Obama has made good on his pledge to "spread the wealth around." Problem is that is hasn't been "good for everybody" like he and his supporters thought it would be   (campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com)	(196)
		Al-Queda seems to have an image problem, so it pulls a Blackwater and renames itself Ansar al Sharia so it can have a fresh scary slate  (foxnews.com)	(49)
		Increasing numbers of students are turning to lap dancing and prostitution to pay their way through university. Amazingly, some people have a problem with this  (dailymail.co.uk)	(613)

		If you're having a bad day and this video of dogs hanging out of car windows doesn't brighten it, then you should probably go find a urinal to drown yourself in immediately  (uproxx.com)	(43)
		Hand grenade Christmas balls? Who could possibly have a problem with that?  (thelocal.se)	(56)

WND paid to have a plane fly over last night's Cowboys/Giants game with a banner reading "WHERE'S THE REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE?" This probably would've had a greater effect if it wasn't a domed stadium (with pic)  (wnd.com)

(149)

		Probably the coolest illusion done with Christmas lights that you'll see this year. Bonus: No Trans-Siberian or computer synchronized lights  (liveleak.com)	(40)
		Spandex, once a vintage ABBA hot chick wardrobe staple, making a comeback. Unfortunately this time around, it's more like sausage casing for American fatasses  (npr.org)	(176)
		Honduras bans motorcycle passengers to curb ride-by killings -- a problem that's all two wheel in that country  (bbc.co.uk)	(23)

(Some Guy)		Full version of the Trent Reznor and Karen O cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" available, complete with title sequence collage for "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo". I'm sure some will have a problem with this  (pitchforkmedia.com)	(89)
		With the Euro in crisis, America splitting along class lines thanks to Occupy and the GOP debates, and countless other crises, it's time to focus on a more serious problem: FACEBOOK IS HIDING YOUR MAIL  (slate.com)	(59)
		Russian opposition parties get robocalls chanting "Putin is life; Putin is the light; love Putin and your life will have meaning; Putin will give you happiness; Putin will open your eyes." Romney aides start taking notes furiously  (sfgate.com)	(71)
		Problem: half the unemployed can't pass a drug test. GOP solution: drug test the unemployed  (huffingtonpost.com)	(299)

(WTSP)		Sure, ban alcohol sales to college kids at home football games, when the REAL problem is drunken parents, alumni in the skyboxes  (wtsp.com)	(23)
(Some Angler)		If you're having grille problems, I feel bad for you son. i've got 99 problems, but a hitch ain't one  (fieldandstream.com)	(34)
(Some Guy)		1) Make false alarm call to 911. 2) Rob empty firehouse C) Prof.... er - Get caught by returning firemen  (chicago.cbslocal.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)		Robbing your college bookstore is probably not the best way to deal with the high price of textbooks  (theindychannel.com)	(58)
		Comic book pioneer Jerry Robinson, who helped create Batman's sidekick Robin and their arch-nemesis The Joker, dead at 89  (azstarnet.com)	(38)
		Man robs CVS store and leaves behind his birth certificate  (poconorecord.com)	(39)
		"Matrix Multiplication", a key theoretical mathematical tool for solving problems in physics, economics and science, makes first major discovery in 24 years. I was told there would be no math  (newscientist.com)	(61)
(Therepublic.com)		Teacher strips and hoses down pre-kindergarten student outside of school for soiling his pants. Some people have a problem with this  (therepublic.com)	(106)
(The Gang)		MMA fighter fired for Tweeting joke from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", to be sent to rehab with Sinbad and Rob Thomas  (mmajunkie.com)	(85)

		Priceless stage props and memorobilia from classic 60's TV show have been lost or stolen over the years  (news.com.au)	(44)
(RTV6)		Colts owner Jim Irsay sees no reason to string along Indianapolis fans any longer, admits Manning probably won't play in 2011  (theindychannel.com)	(103)
		Josh Groban learns the hard way that crocodiles are unforgiving music critics  (starpulse.com)	(24)
		Attorney General Eric Holder says the 'Fast and Furious' guns will probably continue to show up at crime scenes in the U.S. and Mexico "for years to come." Ummm, thanks Mr. Holder  (foxnews.com)	(78)
		Not news: armed robbery. News: caught on security camera. Fark: world's first "photobong" (w/ pic)  (burlingtonfreepress.com)	(33)
		Politico decides to honor two Democrats and two Republicans for public policy. Daily Kos has a problem with this  (dailykos.com)	(97)
		Should nuns take birth control pills? Probably, considering their boss has a history of impregnating women without touching them  (thechart.blogs.cnn.com)	(75)

		Students offered free alcoholic beverages in exchange for donating blood. Surprisingly, some people - who have obviously never had the one-beer-post-blood-donation buzz - have a problem with this  (mirror.co.uk)	(26)
		Hot redhead state's attorney "exposed her breasts to co-workers, came to work drunk and kept nude photos of herself on state computers?" I don't see a problem with this  (abovethelaw.com)	(408)
		Going to the casino and winning has slim odds, but following the winners home and robbing them gets you a 100% payout  (chicagotribune.com)	(106)
		ISS probably has that plasma rifle in the 40-watt range you have been looking for  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(16)
		What four other scrambling quarterbacks think of Tim Tebow. Opinions range from "I'm probably his biggest fan" to "enjoy the circus while it's in town"  (abcnews.go.com)	(161)

		Donald Trump tells Fox News that he's "probably the least racist person there is." He used the word "probably" for a reason, folks  (newshounds.us)	(46)
(Pundit Kitchen)		Problem: people stealing hammers meant for breaking glass in the event of an accident. Solution: the buses in Heilongjiang, China are now equipped with emergency bricks  (news.icanhascheezburger.com)	(28)
(doctorwhonews)		Doctor Who's one-minute prequel to The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe is a tad surprising  (doctorwhonews.net)	(93)
		We Americans are fooling ourselves if we ignore the parallels between Europe's problems and our own  (realclearpolitics.com)	(73)

		If you're going to rob a business, make sure the patrons can't run faster than your mode of getaway transport  (abc.net.au)	(26)
		George Clooney says that fatherhood was never meant for him. "Batman & Robin," yes, but fatherhood, no  (hollyscoop.com)	(43)
		Maybe the reason the Russian Mars probe wasn't designed well for space travel is that it wasn't actually designed for space travel  (blog.trutv.com)	(53)
		The ten stories you probably missed in 2011, including the fact that India now has a huge army  (foreignpolicy.com)	(123)
		German National Socialist Union cell created and sold Pogromly board game, based on Monopoly, with concentration camps instead of railroads and gas works instead of water works. Nahtzee probably gets boring after a while  (thelocal.de)	(35)

		NYPD stealing pizzas from Robin Hood protesters. Those monstrous bastards  (huffingtonpost.com)	(132)
		During a North Pole geography lesson, second-grade teacher informs the students that Santa doesn't exist. Why yes, some parents have a problem with this. "It's outrageous that a teacher would strip a child of their innocence"  (nypost.com)	(198)

		A turtle fighting a robot is just what this Saturday night needed  (jacksonville.com)	(13)
		Golf fan gets a tattoo of Bubba Watson on his leg. See if you can spot the problem here  (sports.yahoo.com)	(21)

		European Space Agency gives up on Russian Mars probe, doesn't give a Phobos grunt  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(22)
		UConn fans asked to recite Pledge of Allegiance before games, though some commie students have a problem with that; want to change mascot name to Ruskies  (espn.go.com)	(36)
		Ticketmaster to repay for profiting off of process fees, but will probably charge you a inconvenience charge in the process  (finance.yahoo.com)	(34)
		Bankrobber: "This is a stick up" Everyone else: "This is a physiotherapists"  (shortlist.com)	(12)

		Continuing yesterday's theme of robbery interuptus by handgun I give you the pizza delivery guy  (kansas.com)	(40)
		Bono: "My voice annoys me." Bono: "Man, that *is* annoying." Bono: "I should probably stop talking." Bono: "Why can't I stop talking?"  (contactmusic.com)	(29)
		Science asks: Is it more dangerous to drive drunk or stoned? Subby's own near-exhaustive experimentation with Mario Kart indicate we should probably just have the damn pizza delivered  (slate.com)	(56)
(York Dispatch)		Pretend you have robbed a business. Do you: A - Flee as fast as possible to avoid capture, B - Go to a hideout no one can find you at, C - Call the business to see if anyone got your license plate number using your own cell phone?  (yorkdispatch.com)	(4)
		Trey Parker and Robert Lopez on "Book of Mormon" Grammy nod: "The Tonys, I went kind of classy, but a little rocked out, but Grammys, I don't know. It might be like a chicken outfit or something? A chicken costume?"  (music-mix.ew.com)	(21)
(Some Guy)		The Muppets has a 98% approval rating on Rotton Tomatoes, a rare 'A' CinemaScore rating and is one of the best movies of the year. So does it have a chance at the Oscars? The answer is 'probably not, except for the songs'  (thewrap.com)	(84)
		Wayne Gretzky's smoking hot daughter Paulina deletes Twitter account after tweeting racy pics, probably due to complaints of high sticking among recipients (borderline Not safe for work)  (nydailynews.com)	(87)
		In the 1930s, everyone was worried about giant robots killing everyone  (slate.com)	(56)

		Smithsonian Museum of African American History acquires KKK robes, but has not said where they'll hang  (myfoxdc.com)	(53)
(Techspot)		UN e-mail addresses hacked. They'd release a strongly-worded letter, except that's kind of the problem already  (techspot.com)	(15)
		Soldier getting robbed on a walk pulls out his own gun  (thedenverchannel.com)	(109)
		Researchers design robot for brain surgery that's ten times more steady than human hands, is less likely to sneeze when the scalpel is next to the parietal lobe  (google.com)	(5)

		Today's WTF video comes directly from Skyrim, where there are far, far creepier things than simply being a gamer nerd (SFW, but probably don't want the boss to catch you watching it)  (g4tv.com)	(70)
(Some Floater)		Harbormaster says Natalie Wood clung to dinghy. Robert Wagner denies this, says that he's hung like a horse  (scoop.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(21)
		The new woman accusing Cain: History of financial problems? Check. Currently in debt? Check. Falsely accused others in past? Check. Lost a libel suit when she previously made a similar accusation? Check. Media: so she's trustworthy, right?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(271)
		Two new "sun worship" spots found at Stonehenge, probably used before stones were erected  (bbc.co.uk)	(38)
		"A quarter-ton of roofing shingles, 5 tons of construction debris, gasoline and diesel fuel, a dead deer and an armadillo." Redneck 12 Days of Christmas? Close, but nope: The 10 weeks of microbial composting  (tennessean.com)	(18)
		Bank robbing 101 - Step 1: Identify a bank. Step 2: Make sure the bank is not on the same block where you live  (myfoxdc.com)	(18)
		Carribean pr0n producer seeks legal action over illegal downloads in Detroit. Subby suddenly has idea for the best 'RoboCop' pr0n parody ever  (detnews.com)	(24)
		I, for one, welcome our squishy robot overlords  (startribune.com)	(6)

Thanks to questionable breeding practices, the fact that bulldogs are "the most relentless farters in the canine world" is probably the least of their problems  (nytimes.com)

(197)

(Offbeat)		Louisiana hoodoo bluesman Coco Robicheaux crosses over to the spirit land  (offbeat.com)	(28)
		Stranded Russian Mars probe falls silent. This is a repeat, tovarisch  (news.discovery.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		Man with 17 DUIs who was caught driving on probation gets the eight years in jail that he was supposed to get. Just kidding, they let him go with a stern lecture. Possibly a raised eyebrow  (salemnews.com)	(116)

		Like Robin Broadhead at the control of a Heechee ship, Death Star prepares to jettison large part of T-Mobile to escape regulator's black hole  (businessweek.com)	(14)
		Chinese firm states it will not accept applications from Scorpios or Virgos. An idea this stupid was probably the brainchild of some Leo; those guys are all dicks  (upi.com)	(27)
		South Korea to start using robots as prison guards. Because as Hollywood has shown time and time again, this sort of thing never turns out badly  (iheartchaos.com)	(38)
		In Serbia, a cop and a small-time robber stealing a baby from a local millionaire counts as biology  (iheartchaos.com)	(14)
		Launch of Mars probe Curiosity, with 10 times scientific payload of its predecessors, set for 10:02 AM Saturday  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(88)
		Yes. Yes. Probably not. No. Let's hope so. It's your Black Friday NHL thread. Game starts at 1pm EST on NBC  (nbcsports.msnbc.com)	(190)

(Some alien stalker)

Are alien probes lurking in our solar system?  (scienceagogo.com)

(34)

		Pat Robertson asks Condoleeza Rice, "What is this Mac and Cheese, is that a black thing?"  (mediaite.com)	(227)
		Donald Trump says he's worth WAY more than the $2.9 billion that Forbes estimates, and that his name alone has been valued at $3 billion. 1%'er problems  (news.yahoo.com)	(47)
		Gingrich argues for a pragmatic solution to the problem of illegal immigration. Probably because those hedges aren't going to trim themselves   (nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com)	(187)
		Lost Russian probe phones Australia, reverses charges  (news.discovery.com)	(29)
		Jeremy Renner: "I'm blessed to have cool roles in these big movies. Because nothing against Transformers, but thank God I don't have to do a monologue to a robot. I don't know how Shia, God bless him, does that"  (dailystab.com)	(47)
		Rick Santorum: "The TSA should profile young Muslims because they're probably terrorists." Ron Paul: "What if the terrorist looks like Tim McVeigh?" Advantage: RON PAUL  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(397)

		Dennis DeYoung says he foresaw current recession in 1980's Rockin the Paradise (related news: Be on lookout for overlord robots)  (tampabay.com)	(51)
		Batman probably had a worse Thanksgiving than you ever have or ever will. Probably  (comicsalliance.com)	(47)
(wptv.com)		16-year-old closely inspects rifle. You probably see where I'm going with this. He didn't, but you do  (wptv.com)	(143)
		Will this never end? China's debt problem: "Analysts guess that 30%-60% of these loans may turn sour"  (economist.com)	(31)
(The Local Switzerland)		If you see a balding, toothy gentleman sniffing a gay couple for kicks, have no fear, it's probably just a confused Swiss politician  (thelocal.ch)	(14)
(Some Guy)		Woman may get 50 years for decapitating boyfriend's pig. Pig will probably fry  (washington.cbslocal.com)	(29)
		If you're planning to rob a supermarket then a) check how much can fit in your trunk, b) make sure you have enough fuel and c) try not to do it while being filmed  (shortlist.com)	(10)
		FARK's favourite Generic Stammering Englishman testifies in mobile hacking probe  (nytimes.com)	(9)
		Robert Pattinson thinks his Twilight character is "flawed and ugly," gay  (showbizspy.com)	(20)

		Sparkly rift appearing between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart  (showbizspy.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Dozens of Israeli women strip naked in support of nude Egyptian blogger. At last a movement Farkers can get on top of, er, behind (Probably NSFW)  (ynetnews.com)	(473)

(Morning Sentinel.com)		You show up to work and the boss sees you crying because you have to move out of your apartment. Does he: a) tell you to get back to work and leave your problems at home, b) fire you, or c) throw dust in subby's eye?  (onlinesentinel.com)	(176)
		Bee Gees' Robin Gibb barely STAYIN' ALIVE, STAYIN' ALIVE  (dailymail.co.uk)	(45)

		Hooters waitress volunteers as guest speaker during Great American Teach-In at local school. Apparently one mother has problems with this. "I'm not knocking waitresses ... My point is, these kids should have higher goals"  (tampabay.com)	(371)
(Electronista)		AT&T just raised the price of the iPhone 3GS by infinity percent. Or eleventy bazillion, whichever is more. But you can probably still afford one  (electronista.com)	(23)

(Some Guy)		Rule #3 of robbing someone's house. Try not lo leave yourself logged into Facebook, your car running in the driveway, AND your parole card in your wallet on the seat (3 Likes - 2 Comments)  (atlanta.cbslocal.com)	(18)
		Colleagues say that casting director really had a great feel for working with children. Police say that's precisely the problem  (latimes.com)	(59)
(kpho)		Nevada man gets probation for pushing his wife over a cliff, tells judge he was not at fault  (kpho.com)	(23)
(Some Guy)		New Axe commercial features models dressed as angels falling from the sky, tearing off their halos and chasing after a guy walking down the street. Who could possibly have a problem with this? Oh wait  (fashionetc.com)	(189)
		Aircraft carrier USS George H. W. Bush develops serious plumbing problems. Navy considering changing name of ship to USS Richard M. Nixon  (upi.com)	(141)

		Wait, what was I going to submit? Fark it, probably wasn't important  (iheartchaos.com)	(16)
		This college professor says the First Amendment guarantees your right to A. Free speech. B. Be on the news. C. Convince everyone your opinions are correct. If you answered B and C, you can probably guess which college he works for  (huffingtonpost.com)	(99)
		The 100 hottest sports pics ever. (Probably NSFW)  (bleacherreport.com)	(50)
		Booze. Robots dream about booze. And hookers. In fact, forget the cafe  (io9.com)	(10)
		The most horrifying Twilight headline you'll read all day: "Robert Pattinson on His Butt Crack"  (showbizspy.com)	(25)
(Some Guy)		If you've just received custody of your children, taking them on your shoplifting run is probably not the best idea  (wtsp.com)	(17)
		UK plans to put CCTV recorders in Oxford taxis. You'll still get robbed, but there will now be a grainy video of the act in progress  (guardian.co.uk)	(2)
(Some Guy)		Fark-ready headline: "Brave grandma arrests robber with his penis"  (ghanaweb.com)	(36)
(sUm Gye)		If you're going to rob a bank, you may want to make sure your note is legible  (wtov9.com)	(30)

		The dangers of representing yourself in court: "What did the robber sound like?" "He sounded like you"  (mcall.com)	(34)
(Some Guy)		"Sales of ASS Shares" sounds like a great idea to Subby, but some corporation has a problem with it  (moneyweb.co.za)	(15)

		"Man accused of robbing restaurant with child in car" rather than a more traditional weapon, like a knife or a gun  (mysanantonio.com)	(29)
		Technology in DARPA's FastRunner robot will enable it to run up to 50 miles an hour, making it the fastest Scout Mech in the Inner Sphere  (wired.com)	(172)
(Some Guy)		If your wife received two gunshot wounds because you were "cleaning your gun" the police might have a problem with that  (wmur.com)	(80)

		If Jay-Z had dad problems, I feel bad for that son  (hollyscoop.com)	(28)
		Russian economy probably quickened. THERE CAN BE ONLY один  (bloomberg.com)	(19)
		Last night's time-travel-centric episode of Family Guy saw the world changed--for the worse--if 9/11 didn't happen. Naturally, people have a problem with this  (deadline.com)	(108)

Eleven sounds kids have probably never heard in their lives. Because they've always got those damn headphones on and they're always playing with their cell phones. Get off my lawn  (mentalfloss.com)

(373)

		The main problem with a smart power grid? Dumb power customers  (washingtonpost.com)	(152)
		2012 could be a good year for the markets... but probably won't be  (marketwatch.com)	(40)
		Russia's dreams of Mars end. Luckily, their crippled, toxic fuel-filled probe that's plummeting back to earth should have enough memories for us all  (dailymail.co.uk)	(42)
		Tree nurseries are replacing illegal aliens with robots  (wired.com)	(41)
		Not news: Mother has drug problem. News: Mother nods off with syringe still in arm. Fark: In the Go-Mart parking lot with two-year-old child beside her in front seat  (wsaz.com)	(89)

		Police seek Dunkin' Donuts robber. Here's the hole story  (ctpost.com)	(13)
		Police: What was the robbery suspect wearing? Witness: He was wearing a pair of socks. Police: Okay, what else? Witness: Ummmm  (denverpost.com)	(5)
		Testicle biting woman...oh god...they're throbbing already, I can't even finish the sentence  (bbc.co.uk)	(58)
		Although he might not be the smartest Wal-Mart pharmacy robber in the world, you've got to give style points to the guy who robbed one while draped in a blanket and wearing socks over his hands  (indystar.com)	(13)
		How to have an uncomfortable conversation with a problematic coworker (without being yourself, asshole)  (lifehacker.com)	(40)
		Amazing low-tech device pulls water from even arid desert air using no power. Cool, the water problem's solved, let's get back to bombing people  (iheartchaos.com)	(151)
(WTSP)		What do you tell the stand-up comic who robs banks? You really should quit your day job  (westchase.wtsp.com)	(25)

		When people are laughing at you for NOT dressing up like a pimp, you know you might have a credibility problem  (gawker.com)	(62)
		Nationals' catcher, Wilson Ramos, kidnapped by armed gunmen from his home in Venezuela. He probably couldn't hear them coming over the loud BZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   (washingtonpost.com)	(29)
		Annual Professor perk is to give your freshman in Human Sexuality assignments to masturbate, draw their breasts, describe their orgasms. 60 year old freshman Karen though had a problem with that  (azcentral.com)	(439)
		If some crazy points a loaded gun at you and demands you hand over your brand new Call Of Duty game, it's probably not a good idea to grab the barrel  (news.com.au)	(42)

		Russian probe to Mars comes up 47,399,950 miles short  (news.yahoo.com)	(83)
		The downside of big-screen comic book adaptations. Wait a minute... you're saying there's a DOWNSIDE to Batman & Robin?  (denofgeek.com)	(44)
		There's a 65% chance of an all-out banking crisis by the end of November. This is only a problem if you have assloads of money  (cnbc.com)	(156)
		Rideable Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. THE FUTURE IS *HERE*  (gizmodo.com)	(19)

		Concerned Ohio conservatives provide helpful robocalls reminding Democrats to wait until after the election to vote  (huffingtonpost.com)	(296)
		Pitbull attacks Lindsay Lohan. She probably smells like Snausages  (tmz.com)	(55)
		Surprisingly, some people have a problem with an escort agency offering up the virginity of a teenage girl for $15,400  (myfoxdc.com)	(232)
		When the Commies are saying your problems are caused by too much Welfare and worker protection, you may want to listen. Meanwhile, Ironic tag flips the bird and leaves the room  (dailymail.co.uk)	(140)
		Because all of Michigan's problems have been solved, isn't it about time for a bill requiring the pledge of allegiance for all students?   (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)	(120)
		Robin Williams has a tickle fight with a gorilla, then things get very hairy  (wimp.com)	(17)
		Robert DeNiro to star as Bernie Madoff in HBO feature film based on disgraced financier. Joe Pesci rumored to be in talks to play Ruth  (dailymail.co.uk)	(16)

(courier mail.com.au)		Using a fire poker to brand your backside is, in hindsight, probably a bum idea  (couriermail.com.au)	(21)
		Japan continues its near-herculean efforts to corner the market on creepy by projecting a human face on the inside of a mask worn by a robot  (physorg.com)	(36)
		Robot guide dog gives actual guide dogs absolutely nothing to fear (other than total, hair-pulling frustration)  (shortlist.com)	(6)
		Mayor criticized for using the phrase "off your meds" on Twitter, which is unfair since he was probably off his meds when he tweeted it  (canada.com)	(18)
		Apple reiterates that the daylight savings issue is not a problem in the iPhone, it is a glitch in the spacetime continuum that should be fixed by the engineers that created it  (theinquirer.net)	(60)

		Microbiologists open a molecular can of whoopass on lymphoma cells  (physorg.com)	(15)
(Some Guy)		Robbed a train full of money, became a national hero, spent the best years of his life in Brazil as a free man, and received a lifetime achievement award for his services to crime - everyman's idol  (zumaworld.blogspot.com)	(42)
		Eight inches makes it tough to walk, though subby's never had a problem with it  (dailymail.co.uk)	(92)
		Rep. Greg Walden (R-USerious) on GOP bill to allow to robo-calls to cell phones: "most consumers have buckets of minutes"  (thehill.com)	(216)

Before you try to rob the store make sure there aren't any martial arts experts right behind you  (ktla.com)

(74)

		It's one thing to stab a 14-year-old to death while robbing her house, but you get a special seat in hell for taunting her family with texts from her cell phone  (chicagotribune.com)	(95)
		Canadian politician tells joke about calling a suicide hotline whose call center was in Pakistan, saying they asked him if he could drive a truck. Apparently, some people have a problem with this  (cbc.ca)	(114)

		"Obama has gone from a modest favorite to win re-election to, probably, a slight underdog," according to noted RethugliKKKan right-wing fascist neocon shill, Nate Silver  (nytimes.com)	(331)
		High-tech spider robot OK Subby is sufficiently terrified  (physorg.com)	(34)
		City of Calgary tolerates Communists violating bylaws, but has no problem prosecuting heroic Christians for same infractions  (life.nationalpost.com)	(99)
		The Dow could reach 100,000 in 20 years, according to an author that just discovered crack cocaine, angel dust, and probably some peyote thrown in for good measure  (cnbc.com)	(113)
(Some Balti-moran)		Vietnam vet shows would-be robber of liquor store what happens when you bring a knife to a gun fight. Fark: the vet's pet parrot was on his shoulder the entire time  (perryhall.patch.com)	(106)

(On The Red Carpet)		Appeals court leaves $550,000 FCC fine tits up in 2004 Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction case  (ontheredcarpet.com)	(42)
		Teachers' advice to end bullying problem: "Act less gay"  (bbc.co.uk)	(465)
		Fark ready headline: "Teen robbed of meatball sub at gunpoint"  (philly.com)	(48)
		The Federal Reserve slashes its forecast for economic growth, raises projections for unemployment, and says Europe's debt crisis will probably wreck the U.S. economy. In uplifting economic news: *crickets*  (reuters.com)	(37)
(azfamily.com)		You know you've got a true friend if he's willing to commit robbery to pay for your bail  (azfamily.com)	(10)
		2,250 year old mummy has cancer. Probably won't survive  (msnbc.msn.com)	(9)

		Toyota unveils robots to assist the elderly. Available at no cost to Old Glory policy holders  (abcnews.go.com)	(61)
		Makers of the BigDog robot develop new humanoid version, Petman. He walks, runs, balances, and comes with sockets on both arms for phased plasma rifles in the 40-watt range  (physorg.com)	(187)
		The Dominique Strauss-Kahn sex scandal is being given the porno treatment. Naturally, some people have a problem with this  (huffingtonpost.com)	(24)
		Robot uses gecko power to climb walls, sell insurance  (breitbart.com)	(12)
		"Spider-Man robbed a local gas station Sunday night, threatening the clerk with a machete"  (qctimes.com)	(32)
		Robot goes to class for student with dangerous allergies. Don't give Calvin any ideas  (denver.cbslocal.com)	(25)

		Dead Moammar Khadafy had an unlikely pen pal, a retired Jewish florist from Brooklyn who had been writing to him since the 1960's. The florists last letter was returned to him unopened, probably because Khadafy was a little busy lately  (nypost.com)	(70)
		Investors will stop making excuses and finally place some blame on the real problem: US  (cnbc.com)	(9)

(Some Guy)		The Onion prints article regarding study from California Parents Institute, which says: every style of parenting produces disturbed, miserable adults. Some disturbed, miserable adults at the CPI have a problem with this  (pressdemocrat.com)	(76)
		Paul McCartney to pay for restoration of Motown piano played by Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Temptations. Tells museum he just couldn't let it be  (detnews.com)	(22)

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson may have "accidentally" gotten married "for real." Man. Those had to be some awkwardly delivered vows  (huffingtonpost.com)

(42)

		Party of seven had 18% tip added to their bill and have a problem with that  (consumerist.com)	(316)
(Not a proctologist)		Mission planned to probe Uranus, "We've only really scratched the surface of Uranus." Sometimes these things DO write themselves  (skymania.com)	(28)

		Texas software manager, who watches too much Big Bang Theory, creates robot for the office while he works from home  (dailymail.co.uk)	(29)
		Pro-tip: When mayor of Toronto, for faster 911 response utter these secret words: "You biatches. Don't you farking know? I'm Rob farking Ford, the mayor of this city"  (boingboing.net)	(98)
		Passive-walking robot can stroll downhill forever with no power source. I've got one of those, too. It's called a Slinky  (popsci.com)	(41)
		Some conspiracy theorists have a problem with the "Asian chicks are so limber that they can tie their hands and feet together and then hang themselves" reasoning in Zahu suicide finding  (abcnews.go.com)	(92)
(WBALTV)		Student goes to principal to express he's been having suicidal thoughts. Principal has student's belongings searched, finds gun. Police arrest student. Problem solved  (wbaltv.com)	(76)
		Quran burning freak pastor Terry Jones running for president. Will probably soon be outpolling Jon Huntsman  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(65)
		The seven-day forecast for former WABC weathergirl is probation, followed by a strong chance of community service  (dailymail.co.uk)	(57)

		Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. miss each other when they aren't working together. Awwwwwwwww  (contactmusic.com)	(24)
(Some Guy)		After robbing the pizza delivery man of his wallet and eating the pizzas, be sure not to leave the box in your car  (610wiod.com)	(37)
		The natural-gas boom has led to old-west style hell-raising, and an increase in violence, rapes, robbery, cattle rustling, rapes, and thefts  (hosted2.ap.org)	(129)
		Oakland PD to OWS: We'll help solve that problem of the media ignoring you  (cnn.com)	(1343)
		Robot learns to ride bike, will find Sarah Connor faster  (liveleak.com)	(12)

		If you're armed with a fake bomb and a real gun and still get beat up by the sub shop owner, maybe robbery just isn't your thing  (washingtonpost.com)	(8)
(Vimeo)		To the left: Subby's first attempt at a time lapse. To the right: Farkers probably making Subby cry  (vimeo.com)	(69)
		Pat Robertson says the GOP is too extreme right now. Let that sink in a bit. Pat Robertson... Says the GOP... is too extreme  (rawstory.com)	(135)
		Ten things you probably didn't know about dreams. Yes, yes, we all saw Inception, aren't you clever  (io9.com)	(199)
		Pics from Walking Dead, Season 2... Oh wait, my mistake. It's just Robin Gibb of the BeeGees  (dailymail.co.uk)	(45)
		Today in Mad Libs crime: a man in a ______ mask robs a ____ stand with a __________  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(76)
		Twenty films you probably didn't know were being remade - because Hollywood just can't leave well enough alone (bonus: not a slideshow)  (shortlist.com)	(202)
		Robert Bork relevant again after rehabilitating his image, shaving off ridiculous neckbeard  (slate.com)	(63)

		Problem: Minnesota needs manufacturing workers bad, but since it's flyover country and there may not be an Apple store for 100 miles, OWS protesters need not bother  (myfoxtwincities.com)	(248)
		Continuing his streak of self-destructive behavior, Robin Williams marries for a third time  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(36)
		When delivering cocaine after a few shots of rum, you probably shouldn't ask a cop for directions  (eagletribune.com)	(18)
		CBS news war correspondent Robert Pierpoint loses his last battle  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(11)
(You will go blind)		More time outdoors, less masturbation may help kids prevent vision problems  (medicalxpress.com)	(23)
		The largest measles outbreak in over 15 years is the result of unvaccinated children and adults, most of whom are probably affiliated with quack chiropractors  (yourlife.usatoday.com)	(259)
		A small private college in Iowa has "gender neutral dorms," where bathrooms and showers are unisex. Yeah, that won't cause problems  (desmoinesregister.com)	(265)

		Paranormal Activity 3 has topped the box office with $55 million, becoming the biggest horror opening ever. Meanwhile, Three Musketeers and Johnny English get beaten by robots and a remake  (deadline.com)	(110)
(Some Guy)		Play at Royal Shakespeare Theatre features nudity, torture by Taser, and rape with sex toys. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this (safe for work)  (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(55)

New robotic suit allows woman to walk, fight alien queen mothers  (dailymail.co.uk)

(26)

		Texas authorities arrest 76 year old woman with heart, back and breathing problems for a 40 year old unsolved murder. Well I certainly feel much safer now  (chron.com)	(164)
		Madison Square Garden shows off the first round of their renovations just in time for the start of the Knicks season. One little problem  (nypost.com)	(11)
(Some Reality TV Mutants)		Rob Kardashian on Obama's dismissal of his show: "You really learn a lot from our show"  (digitalspy.com)	(34)
		Fifteen spectacular swimming pools you should visit. Except for #2, which probably has poltergeists  (cnngo.com)	(50)
(Some Guy)		Man in Bush mask robs bank. Police know it wasn't the real President because this person devised a successful exit strategy  (king5.com)	(109)

		Chinese toy guns not safe. You should probably keep an eye on your can of Coke, too  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)	(64)
		Fewer Americans are filing for unemployment benefits, probably because most of them are already jobless  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(175)
		Drill instructor and film badass R. Lee Ermey caught knitting. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU BUNCH OF JACKWAGONS?  (neatorama.com)	(64)
		People who cherish the American value of liberty over the left-wing value of socioeconomic equality, and those who adhere to Judeo-Christian values, do not regard the existence of economic classes as morally problematic  (nationalreview.com)	(152)
(Some Guy)		French politician invites 13,000 Twitter followers to bed. Message meant for wife. Probably  (thelocal.fr)	(24)
		Protip: If you're going to promote your new website on Twitter, you should probably register it first  (washingtonpost.com)	(12)
		In case you missed them, and you probably did, here are the best moments from the Scream Awards  (io9.com)	(13)
		Man dressed as Spiderman and wielding a sword attempts to rob a convenience store, promptly gets ass kicked by store clerk wielding a broom  (blog.al.com)	(51)

		Crack team of journalists believe that Google probably bought Motorola for their patents  (news.cnet.com)	(20)
		A trainwreck in the making. Live courtroom feed of Lindsay Lohan probation revocation hearing  (tmz.com)	(309)
(Trebuchet)		Those bubbles in the ocean? Microbe farts  (trebuchet-magazine.com)	(21)
		Off-duty cop robbed of his wallet, badge, dignity  (chicagotribune.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		French-Moroccan muslims arrested in San Antonio may have terror link after photographs of courthouses, water systems' from around the US found in the van. Nothing to see here, probably just some judgemental plumbers on holiday  (radio.woai.com)	(114)
(Naples Daily News)		You can rob our store. You can take our money. But don't even think about running off with my baby daughter  (naplesnews.com)	(95)

		Hey #Occupiers, make sure you get off your lazy asses and vote in 2012, and 2014, and 2016, and so on, and maybe we won't have problems like the ones you're protesting right now  (salon.com)	(282)
		Female orgasms, and 11 other bizarre, mysterious side effects that probably aren't real  (trutv.com)	(126)
		China Eastern halts order from Boeing. I knew there would be problems, of course, when the 787 hit the ANAs  (marketwatch.com)	(8)
		Mass Effect's Omni-tool moves a step closer. But it's from Microsoft, so it'll probably force you to reboot your arm occasionally  (news.cnet.com)	(147)
		Robert Hays talks about filming Airplane 31 years ago, still doesn't eat the fish  (sfgate.com)	(80)

Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick were probably just farking with everybody, but Subby would help pay for them to make a show about "Liam Neeson with a child bride fighting vampires"  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)

(32)

		Will Occupy Wall Street have as minimal an impact as The Tea Party? Probably  (slate.com)	(263)
		Study conducted at Biggie Smalls University shows materialistic couples have more money, more problems  (sciencedaily.com)	(25)
		"Is Rob Pattinson punk enough for a Green Day movie?" He's probably punk enough for an Avril Lavigne movie  (popwatch.ew.com)	(54)
		Robots break dancers at the box office  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(30)
		Using a five-foot long alligator to guard your indoor grow room probably seemed like a good idea at the time  (stltoday.com)	(34)
		Why are so many robot helpers ladies?  (theatlantic.com)	(60)
		Robert Downey Jr., known for his sound character judgment, asks Hollywood to forgive Mel Gibson  (insidemovies.ew.com)	(81)

		GM runs ad in college newspapers titled "Reality Sucks," depicting nerdy bicyclist cowering in shame as a cute, sneering chick blows past him in her new Chevy. Some hippies have a problem with this  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(102)
		MTV is looking for the next "Beavis and Butthead". Well, there's your problem right there  (news.yahoo.com)	(18)
		Couple films live sex sessions to pay the bills, support their 20-month-old daughter. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this (w/pics)  (abcnews.go.com)	(145)

		The drop-off in foreclosures killed off the main source of income for Florida's court system, putting it on the brink of bankruptcy and necessitating an emergency $45m loan. Ironic tag robosigns an affidavit with Florida tag's signature  (miamiherald.com)	(21)
		Lindsay Lohan violates probation again, can look forward to another 15 seconds in jail  (hollyscoop.com)	(59)
		Netflix's streaming content problems finally solved  (cbsnews.com)	(116)
		When you're trying to figure out what's clogging the pipes down at the wastewater treatment plant, you're probably not guessing a 32-inch eel (with wastewater pipe clogging eel pic)  (courant.com)	(95)

		A couple months ago Grantland said that Ric Flair is the real life Randy "The Ram" Robinson. E:60 has now countered by producing an episode about Scott Hall (trailer)  (sportsgrid.com)	(64)
		Just so you know, it turns out that eating 80 million bananas in one go is probably going to kill you  (bbc.co.uk)	(25)
		If you buried your guns in a PVC pipe near I-66 when Obama took office, you probably should have picked a better spot  (washingtonpost.com)	(73)
		Do your Saturday plans include a skull mask, a flare gun, robbing a hoagie shop and having mom drive the getaway car? If so, you're not alone  (wvec.com)	(35)

(Some Guy)		Mother/daughter team rob bank, get caught, require eye bleach  (thebigdc.com)	(32)
(ksla.com)		School uses permanent marker to fill in lines shaved into student's hair. Amazingly, some people have a problem with this  (ksla.com)	(84)
		2008 Problem: only banks are eligible for bailouts; JPM and GS solution: we're banks now. 2011 problem: banks subject to new Volcker rule forbidding prop trading. JPM and GS solution: we're not banks anymore  (cnbc.com)	(144)
(Some Real Guy)		Vancouver restaurant bans peeing while standing up because of the men-can't-aim problem for their one unisex bathroom  (blogs.vancouversun.com)	(92)
		First World Problems: The device that helps me defeat nature by automatically heating and cooling my house is such an eyesore  (lifehacker.com)	(46)
(Some Guy)		Apparently, the idea of getting naked and trying to rob a state trooper with a bow and arrow hasn't gotten old in Pensacola  (wtsp.com)	(22)
		Chevron expects to sit on a pile of cash again this quarter, is too busy laughing at your poor people problems  (finance.yahoo.com)	(7)
		A warehouse of robots will soon be hunting down Sarah Connor, right after they finish sorting and restocking  (youtube.com)	(23)
(Some Oregon State Guy)		New study confirms American college students consider pizza and Oreos a food group, and eat fewer than one vegetable a day. Apparently this is supposed to be a problem  (dailybarometer.com)	(40)

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