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Headlines matching 'R CA'
Sat May 26, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(ESPN) Cool Most 11-year-olds look forward to summer camp or just being lazy after school lets out. These two look forward to competing in the Summer X Games  (espn.go.com) (5)
(Some Guy) Interesting Vodak made from prickly pear cactus brings a whole new meaning to the term "spiked drink"  (kltv.com) (47)
(Huffington Post) Caturday Sometimes you rescue a cat, and sometimes ... that cat rescues you right back. A happy little story just in time for Caturday (tissues not included)  (huffingtonpost.com) (1052)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Short List) Strange Not news: man divorces wife over her cats. Fark: she has 550 of them  (shortlist.com) (83)
(MSNBC) Obvious Kids confusing detergent packs for candy ending up sick even quicker, yet have the whitest whites and the brightest colors  (msnbc.msn.com) (74)


Thu May 24, 2012
(Mirror.co.uk) Strange Boy eats his mom out of house and home because he has an extreme disorder called nom.. nom.. nom  (mirror.co.uk) (158)
(MSNBC) Scary It is not legal to get into a drunk driving accident, then to bury the driver of the other car alive. Not even in China  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (45)


Wed May 23, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad 4 Years and a Bucket of Hope: The change that never came  (news.yahoo.com) (49)
(Marketwatch) Interesting 6 in 10 consumers have cut back on non-essential spending due to high price of gasoline. Of course, without a job or car, gasoline also becomes non-essential  (marketwatch.com) (36)
(WRCB-TV) Amusing The quaint Southern tradition of parking your car on your lawn is coming under attack. No word on whether that includes cars up on cinder blocks or not  (wrcbtv.com) (43)
(Nature) Fail Russia, Japan, Europe, India and World Superpower Canada are together aiming to establish permanent bases on the Moon. NASA, um, isn't  (blogs.nature.com) (46)
(Daily Mail) Misc Super hot Olympic hurdler can't find a boyfriend because she's a virgin..submitter too busy staring at pics to think up witty headline..PICS I said..glorious glorious pics  (dailymail.co.uk) (264)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Boston.com) Dumbass Not news: Grandma lets granddaughter test drive her car. Fark: 10-year old granddaughter hits three cars in a McDonald's parking lot  (boston.com) (23)


Mon May 21, 2012
(Huffington Post) Asinine "Christian" pastor calls for gays to be imprisoned in an electrified pen until they die. A Taliban spokesman commented: "Seriously? Don't you think that's a bit over-the-top?"  (huffingtonpost.com) (591)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Not News: Loner cannot get a date to the prom. News: Track coach feels sorry for him so she escorts him there. Fark: She gets canned even though no shenanigans took place  (dailymail.co.uk) (96)
(KLTV.com) Stupid Fark ready headline of the day: Naked toddler left in car; mom dances in driveway. "...with a cupholder from her car stuck in her hair"  (kltv.com) (33)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Indian woman tells husband to change his Facebook status to married or she'll change her caste status to untouchable  (huffingtonpost.com) (34)


Sun May 20, 2012
(National Journal) Obvious Gingrich campaign is currently $5,000,000 in debt, and that's likely to rise after factoring in the cost of jewelry from Tiffany's, fresh souls for Callista, jowl massage, neocon tear transfusions, and daily injections of whine  (nationaljournal.com) (52)


Sat May 19, 2012
(LA Times) Caturday Apple traditionally names its OS platforms after cats: Mountain Lion is the current version, then Lion, Snow Leopard, Leopard, Tiger, Panther, Jaguar, Puma, and Cheetah. How many other cat species are left?  (latimes.com) (167)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing The New York Mets' best pitcher in the 14-5 loss to Toronto was their catcher  (mlb.mlb.com) (27)
(WWSB ABC 7) Spiffy Homeless and jobless? Florida woman lives in her car and gets a college degree  (mysuncoast.com) (56)


Fri May 18, 2012
(NYPost) Asinine Time Warner Cable employee absolutely shocked to find his co-workers watching porn. Hopes $2 million will help him get over the trauma  (nypost.com) (39)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Sears plans on abandoning their Canada operations, as the demand for plaid flannel, maple syrup, moose traps, and goofy hats with floppy ears has declined sharply  (chicagotribune.com) (16)
(The New York Times) Interesting You know how your doctor calls HDL 'good' cholesterol? Yeah, about that  (nytimes.com) (89)


Wed May 16, 2012
(TMZ) Cool Stevie Wonder tells TMZ he wants to be one of their cameramen. Well, he definitely qualifies  (tmz.com) (8)
(The Onion) Amusing General Mills gives the Honey Nut Cheerios mascot intense background story of abuse in foster care to try and capture a wider demographic  (theonion.com) (10)
(ABC) Silly Paleontologists determine that Pliosaurs had arthritis. Still no cure for cancer  (abcnews.go.com) (3)
(Some Blooper Reel) Video Hot blonde reporter caught pulling her skirt up on national television. Who said there's never anything good on TV?  (dumbassdaily.com) (15)


Tue May 15, 2012
(NBCNewYork) Hero First a NYC janitor graduates from Columbia. Now a NYC janitor saves a kid from a would-be kidnapper. Is there anything a janitor can't do?  (nbcnewyork.com) (53)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Washington Post) Hero "JP Morgan more or less invented risk management. If they can't do it, no bank can. And no sensible regulator can ever trust the banks to self-regulate." Sure, now you tell us  (washingtonpost.com) (158)
(Mother Nature Network) Asinine Seven ridiculously expensive cat and dog breeds. Subby's rescued shelter cat sprays her ammonic mist of disgust all over them all  (mnn.com) (239)
(Some Guy) Followup One of the most winning F1 drivers in history is punished for not being able to comprehend how bad an F1 purchased-seat driver can be  (planetf1.com) (45)


Sat May 12, 2012
(Gizmodo) Interesting Gizmodo thanks FARK for calling in the story about iPhone-thieving hookers  (gizmodo.com) (0)


Fri May 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail News: Conspiracy theorist fears cops are following her. Truth: They are. Fark: because they put a GPS tracker on her car and are trying to secretly get it back  (coloradoan.com) (79)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Facebook co-founder can tell you how much US citizenship is worth  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (82)
(Daily Mail) Asinine After careful consideration, I think I'd rather settle with being a slower runner  (dailymail.co.uk) (17)
(WorldNetDaily) Dumbass Sheriff Joe Arpaio abandons the Birther cause, saying the proof that Obama isn't a US citizen won't come from his birth certificate, rather it will come from his Draft Registration. We get it. You're a racist asshole  (wnd.com) (136)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Governor Scott Walker caught on video telling a billionaire benefactor how he plans to crush the unions and turn Wisconsin into a right-to-work state. Not that billionaire. Or that one. Another one  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (519)


Thu May 10, 2012
(AZCentral) Spiffy Cubs fans: Circle July 11th on your calendar. That's when the organization breaks ground for their new stadium  (azcentral.com) (26)
(CBC) Dumbass When your cab's taking too long to arrive do you a) keep waiting patiently, b) call another cab, or c) jump on a moving train  (cbc.ca) (12)


Wed May 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Sad Red Sox P.A. announcer Carl Beane dies in car crash-ash-ash  (pressherald.com) (34)
(AZCentral) Scary Because a mountain lion attacking your campground isn't [scary] enough, let's give that mountain lion rabies  (azcentral.com) (37)


Tue May 08, 2012
(LA Times) Dumbass Man stabs party-goers after cake dispute. No lie  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Florida "I know that I was going to blow a high number." Judging from the fact her car was in a flower garden, she knowed right  (gainesville.com) (19)


Sun May 06, 2012
(Newser) Unlikely Look into my eyes...now look away while I walk out the door with all your cash  (newser.com) (19)


Sat May 05, 2012
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Followup UGA gymnastics coach resigns after 3rd year of sub-par results. He had succeeded the legendary coach whose record included winning the last 5 consecutive NCAA Championships of her career. But don't fret - he'll land on his feet  (blogs.ajc.com) (7)
(WTKR) Sick Five dogs poisoned by antifreeze-coated fish tossed into their backyard. Fark: For the second time. Super sad: Two of them need $10,000 of dialysis to keep them alive and the owner can't afford it  (wtkr.com) (324)
(abc15.com) Caturday Pima was born in a dumpster, and is now a pampered house cat. But she obviously has not forgotten her roots as she reaches out (literally) to make friends with a wild bobcat. A sweet video just in time for Caturday  (abc15.com) (515)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Some Guy) Strange Social etiquette tip: when a man compliments your car, the proper response is NOT to beat him into a coma  (kirotv.com) (224)


Thu May 03, 2012
(The Local (Germany)) Cool Biker caught flipping the bird to speed camera  (thelocal.de) (159)
(Ars Technica) Interesting Porn movie owners ordered to pay $350 filing fee for each IP address they sue for copyright infringement. This is why you don't annoy the judge handling your case  (arstechnica.com) (23)
(BBC) Cool Jason Statham has now head-butted, auto-electrocuted, incomprehensibly-growled and chest-pounded his way to a billion-dollar career. Not bad for a street hawker from the streets of London  (bbc.co.uk) (111)
(Fox 5 Atlanta) Dumbass Protip: If your first kidnapping victim gets out of the trunk of your car and escapes, you may want to wait a little more than 30 minutes before trying to kidnap another woman. Just sayin'  (myfoxatlanta.com) (44)
(Myrtle Beach Online) Fail Low-cost airline charging $100 per carry-on bag  (myrtlebeachonline.com) (60)
(PennLive) Amusing Father of the year candidate goes to: A man who entered a school bus with his daughter and encouraged her to fight another girl  (pennlive.com) (59)


Wed May 02, 2012
(WPTV) Florida A bunch of guys decide to turn off their GPS devices, hide their cars, go home and watch a movie. Fark: They're on-duty deputies and sergeants  (wptv.com) (71)


Tue May 01, 2012
(MLive.com) Stupid In today's episode of "Completely Missing the Point", lawmakers claim their explicitly-branded "Judeo-Christian Prayer Caucus" isn't exclusionary because people of any faith are invited to come pray to Jesus  (mlive.com) (122)


Mon April 30, 2012
(Some Guy) Sad You cancel fire insurance for the antique business housed in your candle-lit wooden barn. What could possibly go wrong?  (abc27.com) (68)
(Gizmodo) Sad "Thank you for choosing HULU to watch your favorite shows for online for free. Please enter your cable bill account number to continue"  (gizmodo.com) (186)


Sat April 28, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Cool New high-tech cat door will scan your cat's face in order to prevent raccoons, squirrels, and very very small burglars from getting inside your home  (mnn.com) (55)
(www.news- press.com) Caturday "Walmart has its greeters, we have our cats". A heart-warming story of a tiny island community coming together to help homeless felines, just in time for Caturday  (news-press.com) (514)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Mother of the Year candidate has seventh child taken away by health services, admits to using cocaine, marijuana and alcohol every day during latest pregnancy (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (117)


Fri April 27, 2012
(io9) Cool Mark your calendars, here are 33 of this summer's most anticipated science fiction and fantasy movies. Warning: minor spoilers ahead  (io9.com) (91)
(CNN) Followup Hot teacher wants to be fruitful and multiply, forgoes the bang-a-student route and instead pursues IVF with her husband. Ends up fired by her Catholic employer. Bonus points: still hot. Lightning round: suing the diocese. (tag for the employer)  (cnn.com) (422)
(LiveLeak) Scary Thank you for flying with us today. Please remain seated while our cabin crew passes out complimentary replacement underwear  (liveleak.com) (43)


Thu April 26, 2012
(Some Guy) Strange Two men on their way to work arrested for having an arsenal of weapons and cash in their car. Their job? Tutors at a middle school  (northescambia.com) (95)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Even in a first-degree murder case, everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty. But you're not helping things if you're the one arrested and you have a tattoo of a gun between your eyebrows  (palmbeachpost.com) (72)
(Celebslam) Interesting Tara Reid worried that reports about her partying are affecting her career, surprising many who were unaware that Tara Reid still had a career  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (26)


Wed April 25, 2012
(MSN) Amusing New Yorkers complaining about too many people having sex in their cars (with a helpful picture of what people having sex in a car may look like)  (now.msn.com) (95)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Tweet: "I still got a warrant in Pearland...Those pigs will never catch me!!!NEVER!" lands woman in the #  (wiod.com) (52)


Mon April 23, 2012
(IndyStar) Asinine Airline passenger calls police to report a flight attendant woke him up by tapping him on the knee with a magazine as the plane taxied to the gate  (indystar.com) (73)
(RWW) Scary Look out America, giant tornadoes of abortions and homosexuality are coming to destroy you and only prayer can stop them  (rightwingwatch.org) (151)
(Guardian) Amusing Londoners aren't looking forward to the Olympics due to the increase of traffic, influx of foreigners and opportunist thieves. Submitter can't imagine what a busy, crime riddled London full of foreigners would be like  (guardian.co.uk) (33)


Sat April 21, 2012
(Some Guy) Unlikely Bad: You're stabbed badly enough to that the ambulance can't reach you in time. Good: The police rush you to the hospital on their car. Fark: Yes, I said ON their car  (tolland.patch.com) (72)


Fri April 20, 2012
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Hero Passenger captures bird strike on tape, milks his 15 minutes of fame  (nbclosangeles.com) (91)


Thu April 19, 2012
(MSNBC) Dumbass You should probably take some remedial driver's ed classes when your car goes airborne and ends up stuck in the side of a house  (msnbc.msn.com) (18)
(Business Insider) Scary Starting in 2015 your car will record every action you take. The government and police will never ever abuse this data or use it for personal reasons. Pinky swear  (businessinsider.com) (178)
(Starpulse) Scary Come for Camilla Belle in a tight dress. Stay for the giant Jason Segel face staring into your soul  (starpulse.com) (29)
(MSNBC) Spiffy New species of badass gecko discovered, doesn't give a damn about your car insurance  (msnbc.msn.com) (10)


Wed April 18, 2012
(io9) Scary The day your car kidnaps you  (io9.com) (14)
(WPTV) Florida If locking your keys in your car doesn't clue officers in that you're on drugs, maybe the cocaine all over your face will  (wptv.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Sheriff's Deputy files $50 million lawsuit after being dumb enough to believe the naked pictures her co-worker took of her were for catching pervs on the Internet  (wwnytv.com) (87)


Tue April 17, 2012
(Politico) Dumbass Roseanne Barr calls Ann Romney a liar. Next up: Attacks on Ann Romney from equally popular celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Charlie Sheen, and Snooki  (politico.com) (92)


Sun April 15, 2012
(USA Today) Fail FCC fines Google $25k for capturing WiFi data with StreetView, roughly half the money Google spends per hour on stocking their campus soda machines. Gosh, I hope they survive this crippling blow  (content.usatoday.com) (49)


Sat April 14, 2012
(eadt.co.uk) Caturday Horace the cat, missing for almost 3 weeks, finally found his way home - despite having two broken legs - just in time for Caturday  (eadt.co.uk) (631)


Thu April 12, 2012
(ABC2News Baltimore) Florida Hot cougar arrested after teen discloses information about their Call of Duty Booty Calls (w/video of the pink-haired fox)  (abc2news.com) (195)
(Some Guy) Obvious And now for something completely different: An impartial, unbiased, and thorough article by ExxonMobil concludes that petroleum is the best fuel for cars  (exxonmobilperspectives.com) (34)


Wed April 11, 2012
(the republic) Cool "Dear Governor Walker, You can use my song "Small Town" in your campaign, but you should know that I'm in favor of collective bargaining, unions and that I'm a liberal. Regards, John Mellencamp"  (therepublic.com) (101)
(Yahoo) Interesting When asked to reflect of the famous "situation room" photo from the night Bin Laden was killed, Hillary Clinton says neither she, nor Batman, or Captain America "could breathe for about 35 minutes"  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Big 1059) Followup Teacher loses battle to display "In God We Trust" and "God Bless America" signs in classroom after SCOTUS refuses to hear case. FARK: They've been hanging there since 1982  (big1059.com) (534)
(Telegraph) Scary The Telegraph beats the drums for Canadian bagpipe wars  (telegraph.co.uk) (29)


Mon April 09, 2012
(ESPN) Amusing Isn't it truly inspiring how a small school like Baylor can become so successful in college sports without cheating?  (espn.go.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Dumbass After smashing her car into a pole, 17 yr old Jeanelle Schwieterman returned home to get a different car. And drove it into the path of a semi  (939mia.com) (134)
(Some Guy) Obvious Having ended unemployment, now that it is 11%, School systems that are bankrupt, murders, gangs, and corruption. RI decides to attack the Clear and Present Danger. Fido on your lap in the car. Things stay safe for Caturday  (www2.turnto10.com) (65)


Sun April 08, 2012
(ESPN) Cool For the second year in a row, the Vancouver Canucks take the Presidents trophy. Now that the rules change the reasons why they won't win the cup will be to the right  (sports.espn.go.com) (85)
(Entertainment Weekly) Weird Neil Patrick Harris was almost in Friends. Fortunately, he passed on the offer and managed to have a stellar career instead, unlike the three guys in Friends  (popwatch.ew.com) (153)


Sat April 07, 2012
(Reading Eagle) Stupid Submitter can't decide whether this one goes under the "Yet another State Trooper caught sending nude dancing video in sting" or it goes under "Yet another State Trooper gets a slap on wrist", but either way it is stupid  (readingeagle.com) (25)
(Pro Football Talk) Interesting Cris Carter calls for lifetime ban for Gregg Williams. Cris obviously learned respect for the well-being of his opponents during all those years he played for Buddy Ryan  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (113)
(BBC) Caturday Poldi the ginger tom cat has been found and returned to his owner after missing for 15 years - he was identified because of a tattoo on his ear. He's old and almost toothless now but still ready for Caturday  (bbc.co.uk) (682)


Fri April 06, 2012
(Fark) Survey Red wine blends: Deliciousness in a bottle or cardinal sin?  (fark.com) (139)
(Yahoo) Strange Guns are selling so fast that Ruger can't produce them fast enough to keep up with demand. Analysts unclear if sales are being fueled by a fear of Obama's second term or the Zombie apocalypse  (news.yahoo.com) (257)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Yahoo) Obvious Nine signs your campaign dreams are over  (news.yahoo.com) (75)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Home health care worker is asked by 81 year old employer to clean up the several hundred beer cans and used syringes she scattered about his home. This is Florida, and that's a beatin'  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (49)
(The Alton Telegraph) Scary One would think that they would stop parking their cars in the same spot  (thetelegraph.com) (84)
(Science Daily) Spiffy Reindeer can help slow global warming by keeping the tundra clear of bushes and trees, Christmas-hating elves  (sciencedaily.com) (22)
(Yahoo) Sad Researcher finds that he's unable to verify 47 of 53 of major cancer studies. Still no cure for...wait a minute  (news.yahoo.com) (196)
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Proof that even a major metropolitan newspaper can troll: Cubs' "Opening day for optimism and overcoming obstacles"  (chicagotribune.com) (8)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Some Guy) Misc Remember when you got so stoned you wrecked one car into a donut shop and a second into another car on the same day? Neither does this pastor  (nbc12.com) (37)
(Metro) Amusing Doctor claims the promoted practice of men regularly checking for signs of testicular cancer has turned Britain's men into 'ball-watching neurotics.' Aw, nuts  (metro.co.uk) (68)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Drive-by masturbator caught before he can become drive-by shooter. Jerk  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (62)


Tue April 03, 2012
(New York Daily News) Unlikely GOP leaders rush to defend the "smear campaign" against pink slime because the stuff is completely safe and healthy, certainly not because of that $800K in donations they received from Beef Products, Inc  (nydailynews.com) (265)
(Spinner) Followup Karl Lagerfeld apologizes for calling Adele fat, sends her several large purses and a gift card to Old Country Buffet to make amends  (spinner.com) (57)
(NPR) Cool Earth has more than one moon -- and we're not talking about Warren Moon, Moon Zappa or that time at summer camp when you dotdotdot  (npr.org) (87)
(Sun Sentinel) Dumbass Deputy pulls over car with three men, finds 220-pound heifer in backseat. Your Mom claims her car simply ran out of gas and they were just giving her a ride  (sun-sentinel.com) (20)


Mon April 02, 2012
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Man who had his pet cats confiscated by the state due to improper care would like them back. All 700 of them  (palmbeachpost.com) (40)
(ABC) Obvious Calif. set to release $68.4B high-speed rail plan because it will help (a) the impoverished travel affordably between SF and LA, (b) the environment, as people will choose this over their cars, or (c) the contractors  (abcnews.go.com) (198)
(MTV) Obvious Child killings, incestuous colonies and poor casting decisions all make for a controversial start to the new season of "Game of Thrones"  (mtv.com) (216)
(WFTV) Florida 24 year old woman arrested after meth was found in her car with her kids inside. On the plus side, she's a shoo-in to make this year's "Faces Of Meth" pictorial  (wftv.com) (82)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Salon) Silly "What Game of Thrones can teach us about fatherhood." That's like getting marital advice from Curb Your Enthusiasm or career advice from Extras  (salon.com) (124)
(Space) Followup Spaceman candidate allowed to call himself 'astronaut' on ballot. Other candidates protest, fearing they will be required to list their occupations  (space.com) (80)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Daily Mail) Silly Feminist writer calls for boycott of Katy Perry because: A) She can't sing. B) She dresses slutty. C) Her latest video is 'propaganda for the Marines'  (dailymail.co.uk) (113)
(Some Guy) Dumbass You're late to class and the teacher calls you out on it. Do you: a) apologize and take your seat, b) accept a detention and be quiet, or c) strangle your teacher with his own necktie and flee?  (thedailystamford.com) (92)


Wed March 28, 2012
(STLToday) Sick There are many ways a mother can build attachments with her son. Forcing him to eat screws is not one  (stltoday.com) (26)
(USA Today) Dumbass Former abortion doctor caught disposing of remains of his practice in recycling bins  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (86)
(Newser) Asinine Mitt Romney is cool with elevators for cars (at least, when they're his cars), but his record as governor of Massachusetts shows in two instances, he wasn't so hot on elevators for humans with disabilities  (newser.com) (47)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida You find car keys on the floor of a nightclub. Do you: A) Give them to the staff B) Ask around if anybody lost their car keys C) Get into the car and drive off. Extra Credit: C & D) Drive to a nearby strip club  (nwfdailynews.com) (40)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Herald Sun) Fail In-flight entertainment: Our captain forgot to take his meds and will be running up and down the aisles raving about "bombs" and "al-Qaida", ensure your seats are in the up-right position and your trays are folded away  (heraldsun.com.au) (121)
(The Atlantic) Scary New law prohibits Pennsylvania doctors from telling patients what in fracking fluid is causing their cancer  (theatlantic.com) (221)
(Burlington Free Press) Amusing Protip: Before you put a bobcat into your car, make sure you have a plan to get it out. Big brass ones award goes to the guy who drew the short straw and used a taser  (burlingtonfreepress.com) (54)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Mother of the Year candidate admits to downing 12 'small' cans of lager a day while expecting her sixth child, states "I'm too fat to work" (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (145)


Mon March 26, 2012
(CBC) Cool Ontario's Court of Appeal rules that it is unconstitutional for Canada to criminalize pimping and brothels, so long as their services are provided in both English and French  (cbc.ca) (95)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Woman charged with road rage on grounds she threw coffee into open window of another car  (y100.com) (84)
(ESPN) Sad Cowboys and 'Skins file grievance for cap hit; having two of the most incompetent owners in the history of pro sports  (espn.go.com) (189)


Sun March 25, 2012
(Daily Mail) Obvious Stars and stripes bikini? check. Tacky arm bracelet? check. Roller skating on an isolated beach after calling the paparazzi? check. Yes, it's another unplanned Courtney Stodden photo shoot  (dailymail.co.uk) (124)


Sat March 24, 2012
(The Union Leader) Misc Next in our series "Moustaches and their categories, sets and subsets" we see a typical example of the standard Type 3 Child Pornographer moustache  (unionleader.com) (95)


Fri March 23, 2012
(BBC) Interesting Saxon tomb found near Cambridge, raising doubts about future tour dates  (bbc.co.uk) (57)
(LA Times) Scary Joshua Tree employees stricken by unknown illness. Hazmat teams conduct search for cause, but they still haven't found what they're looking for  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (77)


Thu March 22, 2012
(WTAE Pittsburgh) Strange Raccoon stuck in tree with head caught in jar can't get no love  (wtae.com) (36)


Wed March 21, 2012
(Yahoo) Asinine Chicago lawmaker caught on tape by the FBI accepting a bribe, still wins his party's primary with 76% of the vote. Officials say this being Chicago, the bribery charged may actually have helped him  (news.yahoo.com) (45)
(Townhall) Sad Conservative, Republican or Caucasian who behaves like Sharpton would have already been fired from the network he worked for and asked to a Beer Summit to be told how stupidly he acted  (townhall.com) (83)


Tue March 20, 2012
(WTKR) Scary You know it was en epic fight with your wife when she rams your car in the parking lot as you try to flee, chases you the wrong way down a highway and rams your car into a utility pole  (wtkr.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Interesting The most censored words on the Chinese internet. I'm not sure what a 'Three-color cat' is or what it did, but it MUST be bad  (disinfo.com) (59)
(Some Radio Guy) Sick So, think you're reached your capacity for outrage with the Roman Catholic Church already?  (rnw.nl) (94)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Jacksonville.com) Florida Good: Going to Bottoms Up to watch strippers. Bad: Getting carjacked in the parking lot. Farkworthy: Having to put on a show for the ladies as you watch your car ride off in to the sunset  (jacksonville.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Fail Mass Effect 3 apologizes to its Facebook friends that Mass Effect 3 posted something about how it's not going to change the ending, it probably just left the window open for its kids or cats or something  (gamepur.com) (530)
(Some Guy) Amusing Well, good for Garry Trudeau. It kinda makes you wonder though... what would it look like if other newspaper cartoonists ran abortion stories? Hmmmmm.... I wonder... what would that look like... *cue harp*  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (73)


Sun March 18, 2012
(Breitbart.com) Interesting When Alexandra Pelosi and Bill Maher call you out on your liberal bias, you may have a problem. Yes, we are looking at you HBO  (breitbart.com) (341)


Sat March 17, 2012
(this is london.co.uk) Caturday Bob the cat may not only have given his formerly homeless ex-heroin addict person a reason to get up in the morning, he has secured his future supply of gooshy food with a book deal just in time for Caturday  (thisislondon.co.uk) (723)


Fri March 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Sick If the school won't release your kid to you, stripping off and singing religious songs in the parking lot may not help your cause  (delcotimes.com) (51)
(IndyStar) Stupid Indiana GOP revokes license plates for gay youths, triples allowance for cab fare on their expense accounts  (indystar.com) (133)
(Telegram) Cool Your cat wants steak  (telegram.com) (68)
(MSNBC) Obvious That lucrative public speaking gig you landed after your career as a public servant might not look so great after your agency books you to speak to a terrorist group  (openchannel.msnbc.msn.com) (10)


Thu March 15, 2012
(The Register) Interesting A new hominid species, or just a prehistoric Zach Galifianiakis? Your call, Science  (theregister.co.uk) (40)
(Reuters) Obvious Year long study on 100 obese kids finds they have hard time sticking to low-carb diet. Still no cure for cancer  (reuters.com) (54)


Wed March 14, 2012
(CNN) Scary One killed in courthouse shooting in Texas. That doesn't sound like Texas. "This guy was driving crazy, and he was shooting, and we were shooting, and people were ducking under cars." Okay, NOW it sounds like Texas  (cnn.com) (83)
(The Sun) News Possible "suicide attack bid" on US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta after car on runway at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan bursts into flames. Will be a confirmed terror attack if the vehicle was not a Pinto  (thesun.co.uk) (141)


Tue March 13, 2012
(NPR) Spiffy Cancer drugs found to thwart Ebola in lab -- which is great if you ever catch Ebola in a lab  (npr.org) (13)


Mon March 12, 2012
(LiveLeak) Amusing Fun games you can play with your cat. Well, fun for you anyway  (liveleak.com) (26)


Sun March 11, 2012
(Des Moines Register) Asinine In Iowa, a barber has to take 2100 hours of school to legally cut somebody's hair. But a professional piercer can pierce anyone anywhere, and there's no regulation whatsoever  (desmoinesregister.com) (170)


Sat March 10, 2012
(Wikipedia) Hero Go ahead, cuddle with your cat. But remember, your cat could never be as awesome as a dog  (en.wikipedia.org) (105)


Fri March 09, 2012
(Slate) Obvious GOP primary voters chorus: We'd love our candidates, if only they were someone else  (slate.com) (52)
(USA Today) Followup Two guys get off easy for driving around their dead friend in their car. Using his credit cards for strip clubs did not sit too well with the judge  (content.usatoday.com) (30)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Leaving your DNA on a used beer can is no way to commit a burglary  (nwfdailynews.com) (8)
(lvrj) Followup Jimmy Buffett is approved for casino license in Las Vegas. Immediately begins plans to offer high paying slots, video poker, the Buffett buffet  (lvrj.com) (26)
(Yahoo) Interesting Pill to cure racism, still no cure for cancer  (news.yahoo.com) (89)


Thu March 08, 2012
(WorldNetDaily) Sad The Derrick Bell smear campaign begins. Did you know that this man wanted to eradicate white supremacy? What a monster  (wnd.com) (263)


Wed March 07, 2012
(Yahoo) Dumbass Romney mocks Obama's focus on renewable energy, saying "you can't drive a car with a windmill on it." Especially when most of your car's roof space is already occupied by your dog  (news.yahoo.com) (172)
(UPI) Weird University of Chicago students and school officials look for cause of exploding toilets, but admit that right now they've got nothing to go on  (upi.com) (36)
(Houston Chronicle) Fail Southwest Airlines flight cancelled after a passenger came at a crew member with a box-cutter...that they found in the overhead luggage bin  (chron.com) (58)


Tue March 06, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Spiffy It's do or die for Romney, Santorum, the fat troll, and the old guy with the big ears as Super Tuesday is here. So grab your capes, power rings, and golden lassos for the Super Tuesday Discussion Thread  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (1701)
(The Atlantic Wire) Amusing Problem: Rush Limbaugh has hours of ad time available after calling Sandra Fluke a slut and prostitute. Solution: websites that help people become sluts and prostitutes buy up available ad time  (theatlanticwire.com) (199)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you're going to rob a woman as she gets off a bus, don't later call her up and ask her for a date. "How could you be that damn stupid, that dumb?"  (pittsburgh.cbslocal.com) (53)


Sun March 04, 2012
(Daily Mail) Hero A real Mother of the Year Candidate, Julie Jones takes in her best friend's 5 orphaned children after she dies, works 40 hours a week and has refused benefits. Sweet  (dailymail.co.uk) (122)


Fri March 02, 2012
(Boston.com) Fail Police choose the more-likely DWI over driver's "Another car shot at me and blew up my truck" excuse  (boston.com) (11)


Wed February 29, 2012
(YouTube) Spiffy Only Mal can rescue Clark Kent. Or is it... Only the Green Lantern can rescue Joe Hackett? Or maybe... Only Lex Luthor can save Capt. Hammer and Superman?  (youtube.com) (11)
(USA Today) Obvious Lightweight MMA fighter fesses up to his former career as a gay porn star. In any other sport, this might be considered breaking some kind of barrier  (usatoday.com) (48)


Tue February 28, 2012
(STLToday) Amusing It is now completely legal for you and your passengers to extend body parts out of your car. And border collies are being paid $3500 to get the flock out of town  (stltoday.com) (25)
(LA Times) Spiffy Geordi LaForge talks about hanging out with various Enterprise crews these days, his Roots, and trying to resurrect Reading Rainbow. "I don't see the Voyager cast all that often"  (herocomplex.latimes.com) (210)
(USA Today) Dumbass Fox News anchor apologizes for calling Danica Patrick a "biatch" on air  (content.usatoday.com) (99)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass You know your case is not going well when the judge pulls out a gun and tells you that you can use it to shoot your lawyer  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)


Mon February 27, 2012
(onlineathens) Dumbass Not News: College student gets his probation revoked. News: Because he was perched on a parking deck peeing on bar patrons below. FARK: He was on probation for painting LOTR graffiti all over campus  (onlineathens.com) (34)
(Warming Glow) Spiffy Kate Upton for Carl's Jr...mother of God  (warmingglow.uproxx.com) (226)
(WBNG Binghamton) Weird Homeowner calls police after 24-year-old woman breaks into his house, removes her pants and surprises him. Conclusion: this woman is not attractive  (wbng.com) (123)
(Wired) Cool The coolest amps made out of beer cans and Ouiji boards you'll see all day  (wired.com) (20)
(3 News New Zealand) Stupid Church advertises cure for cancer. Still no cure for cancer  (3news.co.nz) (21)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Don't you hate it when you're in a hurry to go somewhere and discover a strange child you've never seen before playing inside your car?  (nwfdailynews.com) (22)


Sun February 26, 2012
(TMZ) Fail Think The X-Factor can't get any worse? How does "New judge Avril Lavigne" sound?  (tmz.com) (67)
(YouTube) Cool Compilation of classic cars driving Mulholland Highway near Malibu will fulfill your car porn needs for the day  (youtube.com) (26)
(Wall Street Journal) PSA If you have a GPS tracking device on your car courtesy of the FBI, it has now been turned off  (blogs.wsj.com) (81)


Sat February 25, 2012
(SLTrib) Dumbass If you plan to transport 8lbs of coke and 12lbs of weed in your car, get plenty of sleep before you head out  (sltrib.com) (27)
(Guardian) Amusing British rival to Siri unveiled. Sure, she works on Android and Apple products, and copes with various British dialects, but can Evi tell if you want four candles or fork handles?  (guardian.co.uk) (61)
(Columbus Dispatch) Asinine Ohio would like to arrest you if your car has "secret compartments" whether or not they contained drugs; while a felony, sentence would be only double secret probation  (dispatch.com) (270)


Fri February 24, 2012
(LA Times) Interesting 27-pound lobster caught off the coast of Maine. He was delicious  (latimes.com) (109)
(Orlando Sentinel) Sad Snow White gets the boot from Disney World. Evil stepmother cackles maniacally  (orlandosentinel.com) (48)
(The New York Times) Fail Romney: The car companies should have been bailed out by private capital instead of the government. Former car czar: Uh, we talked to every single possible private financer and nobody wanted any part of it  (nytimes.com) (177)
(Orange County Register) Asinine Don't let a guy with a badge & gun who says he's a cop take your car, because he turns into a security guard who swears you handed it over to him after he totals it  (ocregister.com) (79)
(SeattlePI) Weird Of all the ways to honor your dead son, throwing a Chinook salmon onto the ice during a Vancouver Canucks game may be the strangest  (blog.seattlepi.com) (65)


Thu February 23, 2012
(Slate) Interesting What beer can teach us about emerging technologies. Beer...is there anything it can't teach us?  (slate.com) (88)
(Nola.com) Dumbass If you miss your exit while being trailed by an 18-wheeler carrying caustic chemical waste, just let it go, cause man, it's gone  (nola.com) (38)


Wed February 22, 2012
(NJ.com) Fail 1. Loosen shelf, knock over boxes. 2. Get under boxes. 3. Tip over cart. 4. Cry "HELP." 5. Hit self in head with batteries. 6. Drink soda, eat crackers. 7. Vomit. 8. File for worker's comp. 9. Forget about store security cameras  (nj.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Amusing Glenn Greenwald asks Tucker Carlson what he meant exactly by saying Iran "deserves to be annihilated." Then he posts the whole email exchange on his blog, for the lulz  (ggdrafts.blogspot.com) (128)
(Time) Amusing Meet the cat bounty hunter: For $80, she'll coax your cat out of a corner and into a crate  (newsfeed.time.com) (93)


Tue February 21, 2012
(NHL) Cool Will Detroit bring their magic home win streak fairy on the road? Will Lundqvist's manish good looks prevent a Staal in Pittsburgh? Will Edmonton or Calgary figure out who's the better Canadian? It's your Tuesday night hockey thread  (nhl.com) (334)
(Statesman) Interesting Scientist makes paralyzed rats walk again. Still no cure for cancer  (statesman.com) (20)
(CNN) Cool Coming to a future highway near you: TCAS for cars. Don't know what TCAS is? Ask a pilot  (money.cnn.com) (65)
(Sun Sentinel) Strange South Florida residents finding sticky white goo all over cars and plants. Ron Jeremy, Peter North claim they were in California the whole time  (sun-sentinel.com) (20)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida You're gambling with fate if you abandon a 95-year-old dementia patient in your car while you hit the casino for a couple of hours  (palmbeachpost.com) (17)


Mon February 20, 2012
(TribLocal) Dumbass Just in case you have to settle a bar bet with a friend, a 2008 Dodge Charger can do 142 mph  (triblocal.com) (112)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Pensacola Business Journal) Obvious Jimmie Johnson's car caught with illegal parts. This is not a repeat from damn-near every year in his career  (pnj.com) (149)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Female teacher caught having sex with student in her office bathroom. With "judge for yourself" pic  (aspentimes.com) (180)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Daily Mail) Scary Among all the bad things a mother can tell to their son, "Your father was Hitler" probably ranks in the top 7. With bonus HOLY FARK HITLER'S SON photo  (dailymail.co.uk) (114)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Asinine Mom upset when her precious snowflake gets a little plastic beer stein at preschool. Well of course she is. How much beer can you even get in that thing?  (news.cincinnati.com) (165)
(Paris Review) Spiffy A history of bookshelves. Cooler than you think it would be. "Your men have made my library gay with their carpentry work," Cicero reported. "Nothing could look neater than those shelves"  (theparisreview.org) (53)


Thu February 16, 2012
(MSNBC) Hero Police buy the cemetery plots beside the Powell boys so their father can't be buried next to them  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (295)


Wed February 15, 2012
(Boing Boing) Scary Are you an evangelical with a gay kid? A little stint in this militarized offshore labor camp will straighten them right out  (boingboing.net) (375)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Walker cancels on his date with Obama  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (166)


Tue February 14, 2012
(ESPN) Obvious Roddy White about Roger Goodell's salary: "How in the hell can u pay a man this much money that cant run tackle or catch"  (espn.go.com) (104)


Mon February 13, 2012
(waow.com) Sappy Black bear calls drain tunnel home. Oh, bother  (waow.com) (26)
(NECN) Followup Now that Baltimore has ruled you can video police officers you can no longer sue them for anytime they might have hassled you, confiscated your camera, or unlawfully deleted video in the past  (necn.com) (48)
(McRumors) Asinine Apple to NGO: we see you are hurting for cash. Lets just put this briefcase full of cash over here, act like we lost it, and you can pick it up. What can you do for us? Certify our slave factories as being "humane"  (macrumors.com) (91)


Sun February 12, 2012
(News.com.au) Scary This is your captain speaking...HELP  (news.com.au) (41)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Arizona Star) Interesting Republican endorses Gabrielle Giffords' aide to fill her seat in Special Election, suggests the other Republicans drop their candidacies  (azstarnet.com) (71)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Scientists discover a drug designed to fight cancer reverses Alzheimer's in mice. Still no cure for cancer  (mnn.com) (65)
(Guardian) Amusing Falkland Islands newspaper editor calls Argentine President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner a biatch. With picture showing what the real issue might be  (guardian.co.uk) (78)
(Yahoo) Fail Just like their cars, two Ford execs quit after 25,000 miles  (finance.yahoo.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Scary National Geographic misrepresented 'Doomsday Prepper' Megan Hurwitt. Producer even offered her $1,000 to shoot her cat on camera  (freethoughtblogs.com) (104)
(BBC) Interesting Dear policy holder: Our computers have detected your car moving at an actuarially imprudent speed. Your credit card has been billed for the resulting insurance premium increase  (bbc.co.uk) (100)


Thu February 09, 2012
(LA Times) Followup Michele Bachmann equates her campaign with her marriage  (latimes.com) (96)
(MSNBC) Cool Another amenity your car is missing: A wood burning stove. Talk to this guy about getting that set up  (photoblog.msnbc.msn.com) (60)
(Great Falls Tribune) Dumbass If you ever drop your weed by the side of the road let it go, because man, it's gone, and the cops will find the methadone, opiates and benzodiazepines in your car and bloodstream when they stop to see what you're looking for  (greatfallstribune.com) (33)
(New York Daily News) Sappy If you fumbled getting your camera back from a fellow Giants fan taking your picture at the Superbowl you might want to click this link  (nydailynews.com) (24)
(Boston.com) Spiffy For the first time in over 300 years England once again has a Prince of Wales who is capable of leading a charge of armored cavalry- AIR Cavalry that is  (boston.com) (109)
(Short List) Cool A dog shows off impressive goal-saving skills. Meanwhile, your cat shows off less impressive evil stare-producing skills  (shortlist.com) (12)


Wed February 08, 2012
(WXYZ Detroit) Interesting Ready to inhale your caffeine instead of drink it?  (wxyz.com) (170)


Tue February 07, 2012
(WTOP) Dumbass Parent of the year can't figure out why failing to get his kids to school 150 times in the past two years is an issue  (wtop.com) (115)
(WMAL.com) Amusing Where Right Meets (Far Far) Left - Tucker Carlson Describes His Super Bowl Sunday Dinner With The Weather Underground  (wmal.com) (98)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Daily Kos) Asinine Not news: Conservatives hate Planned Parenthood. WTF: 51% of them oppose them for cancer screenings too  (dailykos.com) (376)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Some mma fan) Cool UFC 143 ppv discussion thread Will a Nick Diaz win over Carlos Condit make him seem like less of a douche or more ? Will Roy Nelson find Fabricio Werdum more than he can stomach or find him delicious? Prelims on FX 8pm EST  (mmamania.com) (832)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Daily Kos) Amusing Orly Taitz loses birther case to an empty table  (dailykos.com) (283)
(STV.tv) Stupid Court battle over cat ownership collapses after star witness dog dies  (news.stv.tv) (16)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Woman picking her kid up from school enters through bus-only lane, hits gate with her car, drives over curb, and exits through entrance, and is busted for DUI and other charges. Ta-da  (orlandosentinel.com) (21)
(NosINT) Interesting In March there will be four carrier battle groups in the gulf region. Sleep tight, Ahmadinejad  (nosint.blogspot.com) (123)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Sum Gai) Obvious Chinese restaurant catches fire. Fortunately there were no injuries, as everyone had prepared for such an event by running around their cars at red lights  (woodtv.com) (32)
(WTSP) Florida Apparently, the idea of pretending to be a federal agent and pulling people with Ontario plates who visit strip clubs so you can check their car for bombs hasn't gotten old in Hudson  (newportrichey.wtsp.com) (37)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Scary A little kid kicks dirt on your car, do you A) tell him to get lost B) Threaten to tell his parents C) Pick him up and dangle him over an aggressive, chained pit bull?  (charlotteobserver.com) (94)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage  (hollywoodreporter.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Interesting Women abandon Newt for a younger and prettier candidate  (news.yahoo.com) (37)


Tue January 31, 2012
(NJ.com) Obvious Lazy New Jerseyans don't like pumping their own gas or using parking meters where you have to walk back to your car to put the receipt in the windshield  (nj.com) (114)
(MSNBC) Unlikely Study finds women are better at parking than men, but only because other cars on the street flee in terror at their approach  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (31)
(KCCI Des Moines) Amusing Losing your house or car in bankruptcy proceedings can be bad enough but this guy just lost his flock of llamas  (kcci.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Followup About that female douchebag who dumped her cancer boyfriend and took the Super Bowl tickets? Yeah about that. Pro tip guys: You have to meet a woman more than once to consider yourself in a relationship  (dailymail.co.uk) (85)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Yahoo) Asinine Can a woman be a douchebag? This is important, because I'd hate to use the wrong word to refer to the woman who dumped her boyfriend when she found out he had bladder cancer, but still wanted to take his Super Bowl tickets  (news.yahoo.com) (168)
(Bleacher Report) Cool Have somebody call your mama, check your limes at the door, and get your can of peas ready. It's time for what could be Johnny Ace's last night on RAW. WWWYKI's on USA at 9pm EST  (bleacherreport.com) (1946)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Detectives give up on murder case, turn evidence over to the public to see if they can figure it out  (heraldtribune.com) (49)
(Daily Mail) Interesting A most peculiar case of blue balls  (dailymail.co.uk) (46)
(Some Guy) Wheaton The first-ever full cast reunion of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" announced for Calgary. Vulcan too booked  (vancouversun.com) (107)

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