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Headlines matching 'Qui'
Sun May 27, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Fark) Survey I'm thinking of using a non-sequitor to greet various people. I was thinking something like "Brother" or "Boss". Maybe "Man". What non-sequitors do you use or have used on you?  (fark.com) (369)
(WAMU) Strange Maine soft-shell lobsters are in early this year. Marine biologists require more clarified butter to determine why  (wamu.org) (75)
(Slate) Cool The paperclip was invented in 1899 and has never been improved upon since. It is, quite possibly, the perfect invention  (slate.com) (104)
(Canada.com) Amusing Canada.com finds FARK's clever headline about Michael Vick to be quite engaging  (canada.com) (0)


Sat May 26, 2012
(Deadspin) Dumbass Streaker interrupts Cardinals-Phillies game. Details of the arrest should be quite revealing  (deadspin.com) (27)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Washington Post) Interesting While we're railing against Bain Capital and their private equity deals, why not have a discussion on Obama's public equity deals?  (washingtonpost.com) (173)
(MyDesert.com) Stupid It apparently requires the efforts of four TSA and two police officers to identify... an iPhone charger  (mydesert.com) (53)
(Fark) Survey It's time for the Fark News Quiz. The only quiz in the world that's easier to pass if you have a few stiff drinks first  (fark.com) (38)
(Lincoln Journal Star) Followup Old news: Nebraska man convicted of driving while drunk and naked, with truck full of naked passengers. New News: Arrested for stealing 2700 gallons of jet fuel to run his farm equipment. Fark: 1400 gallons of it remain missing  (journalstar.com) (47)
(MSNBC) Obvious Kids confusing detergent packs for candy ending up sick even quicker, yet have the whitest whites and the brightest colors  (msnbc.msn.com) (74)


Thu May 24, 2012
(io9) Strange Vintage ventriloquism portraits.. pleasant dreams  (io9.com) (113)
(Some Guy) Weird This could be bad news if you have triskaidekaphobia, taphephobia, thanatophobia, placophobia or, if you are reading this headline, hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio phobia  (wkbw.com) (51)
(ProBoxing-Fans) Unlikely Timothy Bradley plans on defeating Manny Pacquiao, twice, then Floyd Mayweather, twice, then retiring. No big deal  (proboxing-fans.com) (7)
(NYPost) Interesting NYC public school requires students to study Arabic. English still listed as optional  (nypost.com) (146)
(Some Guy) Cool Australian mining tycoon is the new richest woman in the world, and is quite the looker too  (inquisitr.com) (111)
(U.S. Geological Survey) Scary Tahoe's earthquake risk is quite a bit higher than we thought as the gov't finds new faults  (usgs.gov) (15)
(Courthouse News) Florida Court rules that land developer wasn't required to disclose that property being bought in Orlando for building a house is next to former WW2 firing range which still has unexploded ordnance buried in it  (courthousenews.com) (43)
(Some blog) Unlikely After more than 2500 minor league at-bats, Quintin Berry has his first major league hit. Degree of difficulty: bunt double (video)  (blessyouboys.com) (20)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting If Jennifer Lopez quits Idol, Chaka Khan says she would take her place. Chaka Khan? Chaka Khan? Chaka Khan?  (courant.com) (45)


Wed May 23, 2012
(UPI) Obvious A lack of leadership in the United States the equivalent of a giant tsunami about to envelop and swamp or sink the nation. In other news, surf's up, dude  (upi.com) (22)
(Business News Daily) Unlikely Why your employees are quitting. It certainly can't be that you pay them a peon's wages  (businessnewsdaily.com) (30)
(Hot Air) Unlikely AFL-CIO president beats a piñata with Gov. Nikki Haley's face on it. Thankfully in our post-Giffords assassination attempt era, the mainstream media is quick to report this and Democrats are distancing themselves them the union  (hotair.com) (71)


Tue May 22, 2012
(ESPN) Obvious NFL to require knee pads for players, and ESPN when they're around Tom Brady  (espn.go.com) (43)
(The Smoking Gun) Florida Waitress forgets to hit the virgin button, serves daiquiris to a pair of four-year-olds. Well, it's not like they were planning on driving home  (thesmokinggun.com) (203)
(CNN) Ironic Plane headed to Christian youth conference "Acquire the Fire" crashes, acquires fire  (cnn.com) (120)
(BBC) Scary "Vast numbers of counterfeit Chinese electronic parts are being used in US military equipment, a key Senate committee has reported." Sleep tight, citizen  (bbc.co.uk) (49)


Mon May 21, 2012
(NBC Miami) Amusing Quick fix for a soccer tournament PR nightmare: Distract from human rights abuse charges with an "oracle hog"  (nbcmiami.com) (28)
(CBC) Sad Not news: some people climbed Everest. News: Three died on descent because of "traffic jam". Fark: Everest has traffic jams because apparently the only mountaineering experience required is Photoshop  (cbc.ca) (162)
(Gamma Squad) Amusing Here are all 68 lines of Rihanna's dialogue in Battleship, not quite enough to fill a novella, ella, ella  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (48)
(SLAM Online) Asinine Bricklayer Kobe Bryant picks a Laker to blame for their playoff meltdown. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition  (slamonline.com) (32)
(9 News) Hero Blind runner completes marathon. (Quick, guys, time to put the treadmill away before he notices anything.)  (9news.com) (12)


Sun May 20, 2012
(Google) Strange To help Japan and world see "ring" in all its glory, Panasonic team scales Mount Fuji with special equipment to broadcast event live  (google.com) (9)
(Ottawa Citizen) Amusing One man's war with squirrels. He almost had them beat until they made a pact with the chipmunks  (ottawacitizen.com) (88)


Sat May 19, 2012
(YouTube) Video Subby is honored to share a birthday with Pete Townshend, which happens to be today. Here's Eminence Front, perhaps the most quintessential song of the 1980's  (youtube.com) (91)
(UPI) Strange Boot shaped chicken nugget from Quikmart up for auction. Yes you read that correctly  (upi.com) (26)
(YouTube) Scary Russian 'Skywalkers' scale 1000-foot bridge without safety equipment for fun  (youtube.com) (23)
(Some Hobo) Asinine Illinois requires your home address when applying for a homeless identification card. No word on the filing fee for a pan-handling permit (PDF link)  (cyberdriveillinois.com) (46)
(press republican.com) Caturday Bushytail, a baby squirrel who fell out of his nest, has been adopted - by a feline who recently gave birth to five kittens. While all animals are welcome on Caturday, this is starting to get a little weird  (pressrepublican.com) (610)


Fri May 18, 2012
(WXYZ Detroit) Unlikely Woman claims bungee facelift invention took 10 years off her face -- but c'mon, that's quite a stretch  (wxyz.com) (15)
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work  (fark.com) (34)
(Kotaku) Obvious Man plays porn game, is surprised and disappointed by the amount of porn in it. "I honestly began clicking through sex scenes as quickly as possible"  (kotaku.com) (47)
(Stuff.co.nz) Obvious Really want to quit smoking? Give me your money, and I'll give it back to you once a blood test proves you're nicotine free  (stuff.co.nz) (58)
(Indecision Forever) Silly Comedy Central pretty upset that lefty attempts at Twitter hashtag memes are quickly usurped by conservatives mocking them. Why it's almost as if Twitter favored short, pithy comments and silly hashtags #dishiatoutbutcanttakeitin   (indecisionforever.com) (83)
(The Sun) Strange Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the quikrete. We have the capability to build the world's first living statue  (thesun.co.uk) (27)


Thu May 17, 2012
(Rolling Stone) Followup Apparently, Van Halen can only stand one another for two months before calling it quits  (rollingstone.com) (112)
(NYPost) Interesting Walter Cronkite's last contract with CBS stipulated that he quit complaining about that a**hole Rather  (nypost.com) (21)
(Newser) Followup We were hoping it had gone away, but John Travolta's Gropegate lives on: He just couldn't resist a quickie with Kenickie  (newser.com) (126)
(ESPN) Followup Manny Pacquiao actually loves gay people. Not like that, but still Biblically  (espn.go.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Obvious If you're going to send someone a text inquiring about buying some illegal moonshine, make sure you don't accidentally text a state trooper  (adn.com) (27)


Wed May 16, 2012
(Gizmodo) Scary Brain tapeworms: because regular tapeworms weren't quite disgusting enough  (gizmodo.com) (40)
(Twitchy) Amusing Shaquille O'Neal vs. Charles Barkley in epic shirt off competition  (twitchy.com) (30)
(ABC) Interesting With all the hype over Facebook's IPO, one question is starting to be asked quietly again and again... what exactly does Facebook *do*?  (abcnews.go.com) (46)
(New York Daily News) Weird Manny Pacquiao against gay marriage, and this coming from a guy who hits on other men for a living  (nydailynews.com) (30)
(Gizmodo) Cool New cut of beef discovered: "The flavor is comparable to the New York Strip Steak. It does not require aging or marinating to achieve tenderness." Kinda makes you wonder... What else have those damn cows been holding out on us?  (gizmodo.com) (195)
(AOL) Hero University issues new contract requiring faculty to accept "Personal Lifestyle Pledge". Faculty members respond with "How about no? Does no work for you? And by the way, we're out of here "  (jobs.aol.com) (243)


Tue May 15, 2012
(Salon) Stupid Rust Belt cities like Detroit and Cleveland are becoming more popular with young people eager to live in the present-day equivalent of "Blade Runner"  (salon.com) (74)
(McClatchy) Obvious Quietly, the Republican Party embraces gays, adjusts stance  (mcclatchydc.com) (271)
(CNN) Sick Just a quick FYI: If your crazy neighbor texts you at 3 in the morning to say that she wants to be cremated with her children, you might want to pop on over and make sure she doesn't have any guns in the house  (cnn.com) (201)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Apparently unable to acquire pepper spray, moms dressed in combat boots and military fatigues spray Lysol on dirty dancing teens at prom  (thesmokinggun.com) (85)
(Boing Boing) Cool The Nerds have accomplished the equivalent of Sherman's March in their war against Jocks. Revenge is ours  (boingboing.net) (28)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida If you recently stole $500k worth of discarded medical equipment from outside a pathology lab in Orlando, police would like to have a word with you about the flesh eating virus you're now contaminated with  (articles.orlandosentinel.com) (75)
(*ACHOO*) Cool Berkeley Lab finds a means to make viruses generate electricity. This science is brought to you with a shot of Dayquil  (newscenter.lbl.gov) (14)
(Wonkette) Asinine Adventures in false equivalency, right-wing blogodome edition: Joe Biden used to beat up neighborhood bullies as a child, so that means it's totally OK for Mitt Romney to scalp a kid because he's gay  (wonkette.com) (249)


Sat May 12, 2012
(WSBTV) Sad Obscure law makes it tough for military dogs to be adopted after service, resulting in many of them being euthanized. Asinine: They are currently classified as equipment, rather than personnel  (wsbtv.com) (109)


Fri May 11, 2012
(Fark) Survey That's right, it's Friday. So take off your shoes, put your feet on your desk, and try your hand at this week's Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (40)


Thu May 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail If your train to Grand Central was delayed by over an hour yesterday, don't worry. There is a very perfectly legitimate reason: a squirrel did it  (darien.patch.com) (18)
(Some Farking Guy) Weird Jill The Ripper doesn't quite have the same ring to it  (news.gather.com) (66)
(My Fox DC) Interesting A memorial for those killed in the train accident should a) provide a place for quiet reflection, b) have a plaque listing the victims, c) give teens and prostitutes a great new place to have sex  (myfoxdc.com) (35)
(Fox News) Interesting "SOHO went into 'Emergency Sun Reacquisition' mode on 5/4/12, caused by a false trigger of the Coarse Sun Pointing Attitude Anomaly Detector." That's NASA talk for "OMG, we're not alone"  (foxnews.com) (34)
(Guardian) Interesting Possibly one of the strangest things that you'll ever witness. William Shatner (Captain Kirk from the Star Trek) to host an episode of a British comedy quiz show  (guardian.co.uk) (58)


Wed May 09, 2012
(With Leather) Silly Because nothing represents Habitat for Humanity quite like the Phillie Phanatic  (withleather.uproxx.com) (11)
(Business Insider) Spiffy Establishment GOP: "Say there, Mr.No-Chance-in-Winning Candidate Ron Paul, you're, uh, getting quite a bit o' delegates on your side there"  (businessinsider.com) (135)
(American Thinker) Asinine This Situation Room looks shopped. I can tell from some of the herp derp and from spewing quite a few wharrgarbls in my time  (americanthinker.com) (123)


Tue May 08, 2012
(NorthJersey.com) Amusing NJ 9th District Debate: Democrat Incumbent Pascrell vs. Democrat Incumbent Rothman. The sensation you're feeling is the Quickening. In the end, there can only be one  (northjersey.com) (10)
(Rolling Stone) Amusing This campaign "will be disappointing, embarrassing, and over very quickly, like a hand job in a Bangkok bathhouse"  (rollingstone.com) (85)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Yahoo) Unlikely Acupuncture, hypnosis effective in getting people to quit smoking, according to the Bureau of I've Never Done a Double Blind Study In My Life  (news.yahoo.com) (138)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting ABC, Univision to create Hispanic news channel. Prime-time dream-team lineup would include 1970's Charo, that guy from the Dos Equis commercials, Bumblebee Guy from the Simpson's and Glenn Beck  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (153)
(Newser) Spiffy After 4 1/2 years, Shaquille O'Neal earns a Ph.D. It would have been sooner but part of his doctoral thesis included having to make seven of ten free throws  (newser.com) (37)
(Some Guy) Wheaton Under String Theory, a real life warp drive would only require 100kg of anti-matter. I hope you're right Ed Witten. Star Trek, here we come  (zidbits.com) (117)


Sun May 06, 2012
(Pittsburgh Post Gazette) Interesting Pennsylvania has lots of flying squirrels, but they're the wrong kind of flying squirrel  (old.post-gazette.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Scary Trying to acquire drugs legally can get you arrested too  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (156)


Sat May 05, 2012
(American Thinker) Fail "When individuality asserts itself, we find that household incomes are nearly always the product of factors other than inequality. Anyone who believes otherwise should spend time with someone in the lowest household income quintile"  (americanthinker.com) (153)
(Slate) Cool Inside the dark, dangerous, challenging world of the collegiate Quiz Bowl championships  (slate.com) (45)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, get out a sharpened pencil, and get off your hot teacher for a moment--it's time for this week's Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (24)
(Kingsport Times News) Dumbass Steps to quit smoking: 1) handcuff yourself tightly, 2) drop pants, 3) lose key, 4) call 911  (timesnews.net) (22)


Thu May 03, 2012
(Contact Music) Unlikely Samuel L. Jackson is the "quiet" star of The Avengers. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MOTHERFARKER?  (contactmusic.com) (21)
(Telegraph) Amusing The All England Squid Championships ended with only one squid caught. With picture of the captured leviathan  (telegraph.co.uk) (34)
(The Daily Beast) Asinine Munch's "The Scream" sells for $119 million. If only there were an apt visual metaphor which expressed the extreme consternation and surprise appropriate for such a sum being offered for a bit of pigment squiggled onto paper  (thedailybeast.com) (120)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting PF Chang's becomes PF Cha-Ching's as private equity firm buys the chain for $1.1 billion  (dailyfinance.com) (67)
(ESPN) Obvious Floyd Mayweather finally states the obvious: "Getting in the ring with Pacquiao would risk my future [mental, physical, and emotional] health"  (espn.go.com) (37)


Tue May 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Stupid Try to pass a real $50 bill at a Quick Mart in Tennessee? That's a jailin'  (t-g.com) (190)


Sun April 29, 2012
(Yahoo) Interesting Will the team of John Cena and Diverticulitis defeat Brock Lesnar? Can CM Punk quit crying and cutting himself long enough to face Chris Jericho? Will Daniel Bryan's match last more than 18 seconds? It's WWE Extreme Rules, 8 PM on PPV  (sports.yahoo.com) (2221)
(BetaNews) Asinine IBM to eliminate 78% of its American jobs, leaving behind only executives, salespeople, and employees working on US government contracts that require workers to be US citizens. Everyone else will be gone. Everyone  (betanews.com) (152)


Sat April 28, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Cool New high-tech cat door will scan your cat's face in order to prevent raccoons, squirrels, and very very small burglars from getting inside your home  (mnn.com) (55)
(Courier Mail) Asinine Nothing gives you confidence in the electoral process quite like being handed a scrap of paper to write your vote on because they ran out of ballot papers  (couriermail.com.au) (26)


Fri April 27, 2012
(Wired) Interesting The US is quietly positioning a lot of stealth aircraft near Iran. October surprise anyone?  (wired.com) (459)
(Fark) Survey Check calendar. Note that it's Friday. Clear desk. Take Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (45)
(Fark) Obvious I can't wait until the economy picks up so you people can find jobs and quit posting troll threads. That should be reason enough to vote Romney, no matter how you feel about our dog-eating POTUS  (fark.com) (543)


Thu April 26, 2012
(Oregon Live) Asinine A pest-removal company may have accidentally sealed a squirrel in your attic and it died. Do you: A) Demand they remove the carcass? B) Hire another company to remove it? C) Sue them for $112,000?  (oregonlive.com) (57)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Scary Hope you enjoyed that mild winter as you and your pets get infested with a record number of ticks, fleas, and mosquitoes this summer  (cleveland.com) (237)
(Washington Post) Interesting US and Russia agree on the cyberspace equivalent of a safe word  (washingtonpost.com) (13)
(ESPN) Fail Philadelphia Eagles manage to acquire 7th round pick for 4-time pro bowl corner Asante Samuel  (espn.go.com) (46)


Wed April 25, 2012
(WorldNetDaily) Unlikely Laws banning discrimination based on sexual orientation are evil liberal plots because they could require Christian churches to install co-ed showers. Seriously  (wnd.com) (219)
(Travel Dynamics International) Weird Just yesterday I was saying to myself, "I wish I could take a cruise down the Detroit River with Grover Norquist, but unfortunately there are too many foreigners working on cruise ships these days." Well, my prayers have been answered   (traveldynamicsinternational.com) (106)
(Some Guy) Interesting Women quiet input from visual cortex when watching porn. Now if subby could just figure out what to show them to quiet their audio input  (medicalxpress.com) (34)
(WRCB-TV) Scary Side effect of all those foreclosed and abandoned homes? Millions and millions of hungry, blood-sucking parasites. And along with bankers, there are a lot of mosquitoes, too  (wrcbtv.com) (51)
(Yahoo) Sad Ted Williams' family auctioning off his personal memorabilia with "some of the proceeds" going to charity. Guess they can't quit when you're a head  (sports.yahoo.com) (20)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Salon) Obvious "The dirty little secret about political punditry, that is not actually a secret to anyone who watches and reads it, is that it's all lies. It requires very little knowledge or skill, and there are no consequences for being wrong"  (salon.com) (35)
(BBC) Obvious Ineluctable solipsists grue over the modality of sesquipedalian argot  (bbc.co.uk) (135)
(Some Guy) Misc Tuesday morning American Civics quiz. Can you beat the average American citizen's score of 49%? Or the average college educator's score of 55%?  (scaredmonkeys.com) (375)


Sun April 22, 2012
(Newser) Scary First came "pink slime," the processed beef too dubious even for McDonald's. Now "tuna scrape" might be poised to become the seafood equivalent  (newser.com) (141)
(Some Guy) Photoshop My counter argument to your sinking feeling is that photoshopping this image would likely be quite paneless. Ok, that pun was bad, and I feel bad  (archiadesign.com) (37)


Sat April 21, 2012
(NHL) Cool Roger that, Lord Stanley, I read you 5-by-5. A quintet of hockey playoff games, with WAS-BOS at 3pm, NJD-FLA at 6:30, OTT-NYR at 7:00, SJS-STL at 7:30, CHI-PHX at 10:00. Day 11 Stanley Cup playoff discussion thread  (nhl.com) (1593)
(UPI) Fail Liquid concrete accidentally floods upscale New York hotel. Officials predict that removing it will only get harder and harder  (upi.com) (28)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Death and Taxes) Obvious Videos of squirrels with gigantic testicles dot fark dot com  (deathandtaxesmag.com) (3)
(Fark) Survey Put down your bong for a minute, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz, the only test in the world that you'll probably do a little better at if you're baked  (fark.com) (58)
(YouTube) Silly Farker looks like a total wuss while trying to get a bag off a stuck squirrel's head  (youtube.com) (64)


Thu April 19, 2012
(Wired) Obvious New iPhone may contain Liquidmetal, have an app for tracking Sarah Connor  (wired.com) (87)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup California school board fires high school science teacher, deciding that her appearances in Big Sausage Pizza videos were not the equivalent of a master's degree (Borderline NSFW images in article)  (thesmokinggun.com) (546)
(LA Times) Asinine America's 2nd largest public school system anticipates larger number of drop-outs.To counter this do they a) increase the school day by 55 minutes, b) offer free tutoring or c) lower the bar and require 25% less credits to graduate  (latimes.com) (136)


Wed April 18, 2012
(The Daily Show) Amusing Pop quiz hotshot: If Johnny has 3 apples, and Billy wants 6, then calculate the square root of 83 until $47 Billion in new tax revenue becomes less than $300 million in subsidies to Planned Parenthood  (thedailyshow.com) (62)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool True Blood co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are in the midst of creating a bloodline of their own. #MILF w/pic  (bittenandbound.com) (59)
(Newser) Florida Remember that controversial Florida law requiring welfare seekers to submit to drug tests? Turns out it didn't save taxpayers any money, didn't affect the number of applications, and didn't even ferret out very many drug users  (newser.com) (558)
(Abc.net.au) Unlikely Man decides to quit his job to pursue his passion. Which is usually a cool thing, unless your passion is being an "artisan pencil sharpener" and trying to get people to pay you $15 a pop  (blogs.abc.net.au) (89)


Tue April 17, 2012
(E! Online) Cool Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto in new Star Trek trailer. No, not the movie, but there is lens flare  (eonline.com) (47)
(Wall Street Journal) Misc Warren Buffett acquires prostate cancer  (blogs.wsj.com) (145)
(Washington Post) Fail "This guy is the Taliban equivalent of the 'Home Alone' burglars"  (washingtonpost.com) (94)
(Slate) Asinine Now that it's Tax Day, you should know that Grover Norquist wants your taxes to be even more complicated than they already are. Why? If paying taxes becomes easy, people will stop complaining about them  (slate.com) (96)
(Some Guy) Florida Woman applies for job at bar, sticks around for three tequila shots, forgets her 5-year-old is in the car, and is dragged off calling police officer a "slut." No word yet if she is hired  (news-journalonline.com) (47)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Huffington Post) Asinine Tea Party speaker: "We will not be silenced by f*ggots." Clearly this is a tea-party colloquialism that somehow relates to economic issues. Perhaps he meant "Keynesian acolytes"  (huffingtonpost.com) (503)


Sun April 15, 2012
(Huffington Post) Amusing "Mothers should be required to work outside the home." Who said this, Hillary Rosen or Mitt Romney? Hint: It's Mitt Romney  (huffingtonpost.com) (182)
(ESPN) Cool St. Louis Cardinals World Series ring features faceted rubies, a 14 karat yellow gold frame,103 round diamonds and one rally squirrel  (espn.go.com) (39)


Sat April 14, 2012
(The Street) Interesting You can't fire me. I quit  (business-news.thestreet.com) (75)
(ESPN) Cool Dodgers' Aaron Harang breaks franchise record with 9 strikeouts in a row. Let's all agree that it's quite an accomplishment, kay? K  (scores.espn.go.com) (25)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Worried about Roe v. Wade getting overturned, Sarah Silverman went and got a quick aborsh. (w/before and after pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (63)


Fri April 13, 2012
(Fark) Survey It's Friday the 13th, so here is a Fark Weird News Quiz ending in 13. COINCIDENCE?? Actually, yes  (fark.com) (44)
(MLive.com) Stupid Michigan governor signs bill repealing motorcycle helmet requirement, or as it will soon be known--the Natural Selection Law of 2012  (mlive.com) (467)
(Washington Post) Strange Woman acquitted in fatal stabbing because the victim was hogging the bed  (washingtonpost.com) (62)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Want a job at Google? It's as simple as just doodling a quick resume  (gizmodo.com) (27)


Thu April 12, 2012
(The New York Times) Obvious "Afterward, the mice were placed in small multiroom chambers in the lab and introduced to liquid cocaine. They liked it"  (well.blogs.nytimes.com) (19)


Wed April 11, 2012
(NYPost) Interesting According to new Quinnipiac survey, the people of New Jersey like the job Gov. Chris Christie is doing. Keep in mind though, these same people like New Jersey  (nypost.com) (33)
(ESPN) Asinine Red Sox: Hey, sorry about when you quit and we released a story saying you lost control of the team and you were hepped up on goofballs; please come back for our Fenway 100th birthday party? Terry Francona: LOLNO  (espn.go.com) (124)


Tue April 10, 2012
(Discover) Silly Quiet Lisa, the dog is barking  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (16)


Mon April 09, 2012
(Examiner) Asinine The Three Stooges are hosting WWE Monday Night Raw, because that's the best way to follow up the return of Brock Lesnar. Hopefully, Bret Hart will smack Will Sasso around again and tell him to quit pretending to be Curly. 9 PM on USA  (examiner.com) (1687)
(Some Bent Guy) Spiffy Sure Vegas has minibuses equipped with stripper poles and Jacuzzi limos, now comes a curbside service to treat those with massive hangovers: Mobile IV vans to bring you back to life after an all night bender  (lvrj.com) (53)
(Oregon Live) PSA Now that people are firing up their barbecues again, it's always a good reminder that you shouldn't squirt high-powered remote control airplane fuel on your briquettes  (oregonlive.com) (130)


Sun April 08, 2012
(KATU) Stupid Hot chick quits Facebook because "peer pressure". *hands out jars* Come Farkers, let us collect her tears and savor their sweet, savory salty taste  (katu.com) (243)


Sat April 07, 2012
(Fox News) Interesting An interesting story of revolutionary new liquid body armor. With pic of a T-1000 hunter/killer  (foxnews.com) (45)


Fri April 06, 2012
(kcra.com) Ironic The former teacher who quit his job and left his family to move in with an 18-year-old student was arrested Friday on a sex charge  (kcra.com) (88)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Wisconsin governor Scott Walker quietly repeals equal pay law, checking one more thing off the Koch brothers' to-do list  (huffingtonpost.com) (286)
(Fark) Survey After a Vegas bender last week, the Fark Weird News Quiz is back. Still not sober or respectable, though  (fark.com) (32)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Psych Forums) Spiffy Psych Forums highlights a FARK headline about Earth's most silent place and quietly debates the topic  (psychforums.com) (3)
(Hot Air) Obvious DOJ: Requiring an ID so we know the person voting is who they say they are to prevent fraud is racist, but requiring an ID to enter our building, totally OK  (hotair.com) (543)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Three SNL cast members who obviously have never watched a Chevy Chase movie will quit to pursue film careers  (nydailynews.com) (156)
(Media Matters) Followup Arby's quits advertising on Rush Limbaugh's show. Rush, on the other hand, is going to have a much harder time quitting Arby's  (mediamatters.org) (78)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Huffington Post) Interesting Today's erroneous troll headline that requires no editing: "Mad Men is better than Game of Thrones"  (huffingtonpost.com) (195)
(USA Today) Dumbass Sheriff Arpaio rejects DOJ demand for monitor, claiming it is not within their authority to require he hire lizards  (content.usatoday.com) (154)
(io9) Obvious Psychologist claims that the smart phone gives the equivalent satisfaction of a child's security blanket  (io9.com) (21)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Check out the world's quietest place, where just being there is unbearable and can make you hallucinate. Hint: it's not Kirk Cameron's birthday party  (dailymail.co.uk) (259)


Tue April 03, 2012
(NYPost) Interesting Forty-three brain-teasers for baseball fanatics. Answers at end of quiz  (nypost.com) (83)
(Media Matters) Asinine Fox News anchor will have to take Obama at his word that he didn't threaten Chelsea Clinton's life so Hilary would keep quiet about the fact that he was born in Kenya and faked his birth certificate  (mediamatters.org) (334)
(WPTZ) Stupid Officer, we haven't seen this guy in a while, so can you check up on him? What, he's been dead for months pinned under a piece of farm equipment? Officer, can you run a full investigation on how he died?  (wptz.com) (36)
(Yahoo) Scary Tokyo sushi chefs very upset that the city will no longer require them to be licensed before being allowed to separate the tasty fish from the deadly poison  (news.yahoo.com) (47)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious Molson Coors buys Czech brewer StarBev, still trying to produce something almost, but not quite, entirely unlike beer  (chicagotribune.com) (13)


Mon April 02, 2012
(LiveLeak) Video How to quickly peel a potato. Yes ... you've been doing it wrong  (liveleak.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Obvious Customers reactions to grilled cheese ice cream quite mixed  (rochester.ynn.com) (35)


Sat March 31, 2012
(Reuters) Fail Lottery "Expert" Richard Lustig: "don't ever buy Quick Picks". Mega-Millions official: Two of the 3 jackpot winners were Quick Picks  (reuters.com) (169)
(Inquisitr) Obvious Inquisitr reviews feminism on the internet and calls FARK one of the most male-dominated areas of the web (2nd paragraph)  (inquisitr.com) (40)
(Space) Followup Spaceman candidate allowed to call himself 'astronaut' on ballot. Other candidates protest, fearing they will be required to list their occupations  (space.com) (80)
(busselton mail.com) Caturday Against all odds, Squid the cat turns 97 (cat) years old. This article seemed appropriate as we celebrate another birthday this weekend - Caturday's one and only Alien  (busseltonmail.com.au) (752)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass You're late to class and the teacher calls you out on it. Do you: a) apologize and take your seat, b) accept a detention and be quiet, or c) strangle your teacher with his own necktie and flee?  (thedailystamford.com) (92)
(Some Drunk Guy) Cool New website lets you do your own whisky blend. Finally, you can have that dram with strong notes of bronze paint in the mouth, a slight aftertaste of [squirrel] nuts and a mustardy finish  (whiskyintelligence.com) (30)


Thu March 29, 2012
(Mental Floss) Spiffy Mental Floss uses real FARK stories in their own "FARK or Three's Company?" quiz  (mentalfloss.com) (50)
(ABC) PSA Things not to try and bring past TSA (a) 5 oz of liquid, (b) scissors, (c) a vial with a fuse, a plastic bottle filled with explosive powder and three M-80 type fireworks  (abcnews.go.com) (27)
(Mediabistro) Ironic Chris Hansen rips National Enquirer for its seedy, lying, biased coverage of his tawdry love affair  (mediabistro.com) (29)


Wed March 28, 2012
(The Daily Beast) Interesting Actually, Congress HAS required citizens to purchase insurance before. Bonus: that Congress included 20 of the original framers of the Constitution. Double bonus: it was signed into law by George Washington  (thedailybeast.com) (333)
(CBC) Obvious Trailer loaded with coins collides with trailer full of candy. Quite possibly the best crash of all time  (cbc.ca) (44)


Sun March 25, 2012
(Deadspin) Obvious Because the SAT is so archaic, a 35-year-old man taking it would be quite _______: a) pabulum b) poignant c) comical d) prosaic e) ethereal  (deadspin.com) (68)


Sat March 24, 2012
(The Sun) Spiffy Rural police have been equipped with night-vision goggles in a crackdown against: A) cattle rustlers, B) smugglers, or C) parsnip poachers?  (thesun.co.uk) (18)


Fri March 23, 2012
(WESH Orlando) Florida Confused between a mosquito bite and cigarette burns? This woman sure is  (wesh.com) (36)
(Fark) Survey Quiz time, come get your fresh Fark Weird News Quiz, right out of the oven  (fark.com) (45)
(Toronto Star) Amusing The latest entrants in the War on Women are Canadian squirrels  (thestar.com) (26)


Thu March 22, 2012
(World Affairs Journal) Asinine America: Hey Tunisia, how's that Arab Spring working out for you? Tunisia: It would work out a shiatload better if you quit backing the same batshiat radicals you do in Saudi Arabia  (worldaffairsjournal.org) (20)


Wed March 21, 2012
(The Register) Spiffy NASA scientists: "Now we understand what's required to explode a supernova." In other news, NASA budget hearings just got a LOT more interesting  (theregister.co.uk) (34)


Tue March 20, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious HP to merge business groups, leading to laptops that only cost $49, but require $499 ink refills  (allthingsd.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Strange With no interesting Middle East news to report, Al Jazeera acquires American TV rights to first-division French, Italian and Spanish soccer leagues  (epltalk.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Fail A great example of why a license should be required to have children  (strangebeaver.com) (117)
(Think Progress) Stupid New Hampshire house passes bill that mandates a 24-hour waiting period before an abortion and requires doctors to give women "informational materials" that erroneously link abortions to breast cancer  (thinkprogress.org) (257)


Sun March 18, 2012
(Sporting News) Cool Upon receiving word that the 49ers were making a quiet run at Manning, 49er QB Alex Smith decided turnabout is fair play  (aol.sportingnews.com) (173)


Sat March 17, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Silly Old, young, bored, beautiful, distinquished, demonic, disheveled, and eerie. Yeah, that about sums up this week's Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (155)
(KVAL) Silly "Armed with a box of crackers, Eyewitness News went to the park to see how the squirrels acted"  (kval.com) (35)
(People Magazine) Interesting Why did Bronson Pinchot quit Hollywood to work on houses? Don't be ridiculous  (people.com) (66)


Fri March 16, 2012
(Elliot Wave International) Obvious Elliot Wave International compares FARK's non sequitur headlines to the reporting by the financial news media (3rd section)  (elliottwave.com) (0)
(Mental Floss) Interesting Quiz: Celebrity Baby Name or Computer Virus?  (mentalfloss.com) (27)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Arizona Republicans remove "circumcision requirement" from bill, keep the stupid part  (huffingtonpost.com) (116)
(Fark) Survey Friday already? Time for Fark's Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (33)
(The Register) Interesting Why does MegaSquid have a giant eye? Here comes The Asylum, I mean The Science  (theregister.co.uk) (20)
(ESPN) Cool Bills acquire Mario for 100 coins, 1-up  (espn.go.com) (62)


Wed March 14, 2012
(Deadspin) Interesting Mike D'Antoni quit as head coach of the New York Knicks after owner James Dolan refused to trade Carmelo Anthony for Deron Williams  (deadspin.com) (84)
(Think Progress) Stupid Grover Norquist excuses Ronald Reagan's 11 tax increases on the grounds that they were okay because he never signed his pledge to not raise them while in office  (thinkprogress.org) (145)
(New York Daily News) Followup Little League team turns down donation from strip club. Wants to keep control of their own equipment  (nydailynews.com) (44)
(Huffington Post) Unlikely That health insurance that you're required to buy will soon cost more than your total income  (huffingtonpost.com) (188)
(Yahoo) Sad Determined for a fight with Mayweather, Pacquiao possibly following him to jail  (sports.yahoo.com) (11)
(Google) Obvious Obama spends the evening with UK Prime Minister, explaining the differences between basketball and quidditch  (google.com) (12)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Bloomberg) Asinine Stop me if you've heard this one before: Bi-partisan bill promising economic growth aims to roll back depression-era regulatory safeguards and disclosure requirements  (bloomberg.com) (53)
(News.com.au) Obvious We either have a very quick, slow meteor, a plane crash, or a street light. But it's definitely not a UFO  (news.com.au) (39)


Mon March 12, 2012
(Daily Mail) Scary Squirrel learns to operate humans-only device. This cannot end well  (dailymail.co.uk) (76)


Sat March 10, 2012
(The New York Times) PSA In coach, passengers are reduced to scrounging stale peanuts and tiny pretzels out of the seat cushion, while up front, racks of lamb, fine wines, and exquisite desserts are standard fare. Here comes the science of how they do it  (nytimes.com) (118)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Weekend cuteness: Baby squirrels  (dailymail.co.uk) (21)
(The Raw Story) Asinine Republican party finally sees the error of their ways and quietly lets the war against women drop... JUST KIDDING, a Georgia State Representative compares pregnant women to cattle and pigs  (rawstory.com) (334)


Fri March 09, 2012
(The Atlantic) Hero "He has lived in a dozen caves tucked into sandstone nooks. In the fall of 2002, two years after quitting money, he homesteaded a majestic alcove high on a cliff, two hundred feet across and fifty feet tall"  (theatlantic.com) (145)
(Fark) Survey Quiz time: How many Fark stories do you remember from the last week?  (fark.com) (57)
(Discover) Obvious Science journalist discusses how journalistic accountability--don't laugh--is the responsibility of the journalist and--stop laughing--requires due diligence and integrity   (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (17)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Indecision Forever) Followup Blind squirrel Pat Robertson accidentally finds a nut (sponsored link)  (indecisionforever.com) (118)
(Think Progress) Hero Not news: Congressman calls Norquist's anti-tax pledge "disingenuous and irresponsible." Holy Fark: Republican Congressman calls Norquist's anti-tax pledge "disingenuous and irresponsible"  (thinkprogress.org) (68)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Good news: NBC and YouTube team up to stream every 2012 Olympic event live. Bad news: NBC will probably figure out a way to require you to install Silverlight nonetheless  (gizmodo.com) (35)


Tue March 06, 2012
(YouTube) Scary Not News: Avalanche. News: Video of avalanche. Fark: Video of avalanche hitting a chairlift. Holy Fark: Video of avalanche hitting a chairlift shot by someone still on the chairlift  (youtube.com) (97)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Yahoo) Obvious "Oh, I'm afraid the Obama campaign will be quite operational when his Republican challenger arrives"  (news.yahoo.com) (156)


Sun March 04, 2012
(Daily Mail) Spiffy For sale: One slightly used town in Montana. For only $1.4 million you get a small trailer park, general store - which is currently closed - and the newly government-built post office. Serious inquiries only  (dailymail.co.uk) (109)
(YouTube) Video First Grammy Awards announced this day in 1959. "Tequila" wins R&B performance, leaving lasting impression on 7-year-old Pee-wee Herman  (youtube.com) (19)


Fri March 02, 2012
(Examiner) Asinine TSA stepping up its war on liquids by having women empty their boobies before flying  (examiner.com) (173)
(Fark) Survey Thanks to the help of your fellow Farkers, the Quiz lives on. Have fun  (fark.com) (43)


Thu March 01, 2012
(USA Today) Spiffy Subaru is now the most reliable brand in latest auto quality survey, Toyota quickly accelerates into third place  (content.usatoday.com) (117)


Wed February 29, 2012
(Abc.net.au) Cool The Netherlands now have mobile euthanasia vans that will come to your door. Tipping the driver is not required  (abc.net.au) (57)
(Yahoo) Scary Newly acquired Pirates pitcher A.J. Burnett struck in face by line drive. Describes feeling as "less painful than pitching for the Pirates"  (sports.yahoo.com) (22)
(WWL) Amusing Having solved all the state's problems with education, budget, infrastructure and jobs, Louisiana seeks to ban straw holes for drive-through daiquiri stands  (wwl.com) (96)
(Crooks & Liars) Amusing 53 year old Samantha Bee demolishes 12 year old Grover Norquist   (videocafe.crooksandliars.com) (169)
(NYPost) Stupid 1200 page fictional best seller about bondage and seduction quickly becomes newest turn-on for sex starved upper East Side wives (with obligatory photo of hot blonde reading)  (nypost.com) (41)


Tue February 28, 2012
(9 News) Asinine Taking a page straight out of the TSA handbook, hotel is evacuated and bomb squad is called due to "a medium-sized bottle that had liquid in it"  (9news.com) (73)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Realizing that the Mets will have an uphill climb this year, ownership A) trades for a power-hitting outfielder, B) acquires a flame-throwing starter, C) buys players Underdog tee-shirts  (nydailynews.com) (26)
(CNBC) Obvious This is why people are having a hard time finding work: "There's just a lot of money having been created that ain't going into plant and equipment and labor, but instead making its way into equities"  (cnbc.com) (32)
(Tulsa World) Obvious Police describe meth-lab blast as particularly violent. Apparently where they're from, most blasts are little fuzzy cuddly things and quite docile  (tulsaworld.com) (15)


Mon February 27, 2012
(NASA) Interesting In deep space astronomy, time lapse photography takes quite a long time  (apod.nasa.gov) (15)


Sun February 26, 2012
(Slate) Interesting The sounds of violence in movies have gotten more and more moister and squishier and uncomfortable over the years. Here's why  (slate.com) (64)
(Google) Silly What's the shiattiest job you've ever held? Bonus question: Ever pulled a "super quit" at work?  (google.com) (551)


Sat February 25, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious New study says those who have never smoked marijuana or have quit smoking marijuana are more of a slave to their jobs  (mnn.com) (124)


Fri February 24, 2012
(Fark) Survey Okay, get ready. It's time for (possibly the last) Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (66)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy Apple takes a big bite into the app search engine market. Acquires Chomp for $50 million  (bloomberg.com) (21)
(AL.com) Scary Lots of first-graders play doctor with their classmates. But most don't do it by sticking them with a syringe full of an unknown liquid  (blog.al.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Amusing "14.4k modems are on the way out and 28.8 is in. I'd tend toward 28.8 for about an extra $100, but a 14.4 is pretty quick and will capably handle email." And you thought you Comcast connection was bad   (therelativelyinterestingblog.blogspot.com) (118)


Thu February 23, 2012
(ABC) Dumbass 'Bird Man' Jeb Corliss vows to continue base jumps even after his near death crash at Table Mountain. "That's so cute, hahaha," Corliss laughed when asked if he was now going to quit jumping  (abcnews.go.com) (74)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Marco Rubio: "Yo soy un Mormon, y quiero ser Vice Presidente"  (tampabay.com) (39)
(BBC) Scary An electromagnetic pulse bomb sneak attack that would destroy all electronics is "quite likely." EVERYBODY PA  (bbc.co.uk) (195)
(CBS News) Fail Buddy Roemer quits GOP presidential race. In case you are wondering who he is, he's the former Louisiana governor, who lost a primary to David Duke back in 1991  (cbsnews.com) (44)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Scientific American) Obvious Warmer planet could be dominated by mosquitoes, ticks, rodents, jellyfish, tea party  (scientificamerican.com) (44)
(Discovery) Cool Squid have learned to fly. I, for one, welcome our new cephalopod overlords  (news.discovery.com) (25)
(Huffington Post) Followup The sand has been expelled from Brady's Quimm  (huffingtonpost.com) (6)
(WTKR) Interesting Ugly ass baby squirrel monkey born at Virginia Zoo. Not sure how I feel about squirrels with opposable thumbs  (wtkr.com) (17)
(Al Jazeera) Followup Iran to UN: "You can't go in there, because we're currently testing nuclear warhead related equipment. I mean, uh... Oops"  (aljazeera.com) (172)


Tue February 21, 2012
(Some Pony) Obvious Brady Quinn is mad at being a third string QB  (thepostgame.com) (103)


Mon February 20, 2012
(Think Progress) Dumbass CNN contributor defends Virginia's bill requiring women to receive an ultrasound before an abortion claiming that they "had no problem having a similar procedure when they engaged in the act that resulted in the pregnancy"  (thinkprogress.org) (471)
(ESPN) Interesting Yankees acquire Ibanez. With their money, I thought they would buy Fender or Gibson  (espn.go.com) (63)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Planning the getaway from your next armed robbery? Make sure your wheelchair is equipped to handle the sand  (tampabay.com) (13)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Want a four-seat Ferrari but can't afford the new FF? This one can be yours for a bargain £60k (some assembly required)  (dailymail.co.uk) (47)


Sun February 19, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine I keep seeing enormous squirrels around my neighborhood. They keep eating in preparation for a winter that hasn't materialized. Will there be a big problem with diabetic squirrels soon? Can squirrels get diabetes? Where's Brimley?  (mn.gov) (163)
(Salon) Dumbass "Facebook kicks up so much anxiety and embarrassment for me but I don't want to quit." Because Facebook is so important  (salon.com) (68)
(TMZ) Obvious If your quiet stay at a lavish Hollywood hotel is rudely interrupted by a celebrity's death, don't look for a refund  (tmz.com) (30)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to compete with the FARK regulars with a link to the Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy quiz)  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Huffington Post) Weird Quite inexplicably, The Simpsons have hit 500 episodes despite losing relevance and humor 360 episodes ago  (huffingtonpost.com) (139)
(Reuters) Misc "Winning The Future." "Greater Together." "We Don't Quit." All have been suggested as replacements for "Hope and Change". You can do better, Fark. Any suggestions for the Obama2012 campaign slogan?  (reuters.com) (357)
(LA Times) Silly Quiet Lisa, the dog is talking  (latimes.com) (55)


Fri February 17, 2012
(Fark) Survey The Fark Weird News Quiz is back, so do your worst. No, wait...do your best  (fark.com) (36)
(FilmDrunk) Amusing Q: What do you get when you remake Requiem for a Dream with puppets? A: Tail-to-tail  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (12)
(YouTube) Video Phil Taylor shows you the quickest way to win a game of 501 in Darts  (youtube.com) (48)
(Mental Floss) Interesting A cheat sheet to Thomas Edison's eccentric job interview questions  (mentalfloss.com) (72)
(Abc.net.au) Sad You may have a drinking problem if you are turning to liquid soap in the absence of any alcohol  (abc.net.au) (51)


Thu February 16, 2012
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Paul McCartney says he's finally quitting cannabis for his 8-year-old daughter. Japan unavailable for comment. Bonus: Pic of zombie Bob Dylan  (dailymail.co.uk) (34)


Wed February 15, 2012
(Gothamist) Silly Mystery solved: Do squirrels eat pizza cheese first or crust first?  (gothamist.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Strange Some people like flowers for Valentine's Day. Others prefer a quiet, romantic dinner. Still others like to strip their girlfriend naked, bind her up in duct tape and throw her in the back seat for later  (ktvb.com) (76)
(Forbes) Cool Retirement may require less income than you think, so you can spend more time thinking about how you're going to decorate your refrigerator box  (forbes.com) (38)


Tue February 14, 2012
(My Fox DC) Interesting Survey finds that men are quick to fall in love, roll over and fall asleep  (myfoxdc.com) (102)
(ABC) Sick Whitney Houston's Sister-in-law creates a special $65 candle to quickly cash in on the death of the singer, erm, excuse me, to "Honor her memory"  (abcnews.go.com) (52)
(Daily Mail) Strange Man arrested for stealing $25k worth of Tide detergent. Witnesses say the suspect appeared quite agitated  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)


Sun February 12, 2012
(YouTube) Video Drifting requires special skills  (youtube.com) (33)


Fri February 10, 2012
(The Daily Beast) Asinine Get this: according to recently departed Susan G. Komen exec. Karen Handel, Planned Parenthood is a "bully" that broke a "ladies' agreement" to keep quiet about their funding cut  (thedailybeast.com) (406)
(Slate) Interesting While Mitt, Santorum and Newt are busy ripping each other apart, Ron Paul is quietly amassing delegates. Stop snickering  (slate.com) (198)
(Fark) Survey Get ready, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. #suckitBBC  (fark.com) (29)
(Yahoo) Fail Just like their cars, two Ford execs quit after 25,000 miles  (finance.yahoo.com) (21)
(Washington Post) Amusing George Will nearly fogs up his wire rimmed glasses in a rage: "Republicans who think America is being endangered by "appeasement" and military parsimony have worked that pedal on their organ quite enough" Oh snap  (washingtonpost.com) (61)
(Huffington Post) Interesting 9 out of 10 doctors recommend to quit inhaling your soda and just learn to swallow  (huffingtonpost.com) (8)
(Fox News) Interesting Subby, for one, welcomes our new Pennsylvania Purple Squirrel overlords (with purple-pic)  (nation.foxnews.com) (69)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Hero Researchers develop way to scan liquids that may allow travelers to carry on enough vodka to relieve the stress of the TSA screening, Southwest boarding process  (physicsworld.com) (106)
(Think Progress) Strange New Hampshire Republicans propose bill to eliminate workers' lunch breaks. Bills requiring workers to kick puppies and root for Duke still in committee  (thinkprogress.org) (61)
(USA Today) Stupid Toppling TVs have crushed four Chicago children since October, so clearly it's time to start putting warning labels on these Doom Tubes and maybe start requiring protective gear to watch them  (usatoday.com) (129)
(Washington Post) Stupid Because blowing the entire team's budget to acquire single big-name talent has worked so well for them in the past, the Redskins should offer "whatever it takes" to get Peyton Manning. Can Dan Snyder be included in a trade?  (washingtonpost.com) (48)


Wed February 08, 2012
(IEEE Spectrum) Cool (Almost) everyone loves the Taiwanese media animations of current news events. Now, learn the cool story of the man behind the Next Media madness (and how they do it so quickly)  (spectrum.ieee.org) (28)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy Justified producer Graham Yost sits down for Q&A as to why Justified is so awesome. Interviewer: "There is quite the body count already this season." Graham: "I don't know what you're talking about." (spoilers)  (insidetv.ew.com) (55)


Tue February 07, 2012
(AL.com) Interesting Pop quiz: A class has 29 students. Twenty students have dogs; 15 have cats. How many have both dogs and cats? If you can't answer this you are dumber than a sixth grader  (blog.al.com) (364)
(Guardian) Unlikely Nice guys urged to get spines so voters will quit going for jerks  (guardian.co.uk) (50)
(WPTV) Florida After days of meticulous planning, man pounces out of bush to chase after ex-wife, douses her with flammable liquid yelling, "I'm gonna kill you"... then stumbles and becomes engulfed in flames. (Early Darwin nominee)  (wptv.com) (73)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting NJ bill would require kids to stay in school until age 18, leaving those who actually graduate when they are 17 in an awkward predicament  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (171)
(News.com.au) Asinine Pop quiz. A woman and baby are being washed away by a flood. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? c) pull out your smart phone and shoot the video  (news.com.au) (185)
(Some Guy) Scary Quite possibly the most massively inappropriate movie PR stunt of all time  (moviereviews.co.uk) (39)
(Sun Sentinel) Obvious Pey Pey says he'll restructure his contract with requirement that he is able to throw a ball, so long as he's still paid as much as everyone else on the team... combined. How big of him  (sun-sentinel.com) (56)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Chicago Sun-Times) Weird Governor Pat Quinn successfully swallows a spoonful of cinnamon. Coincidentally, the State of Illinois is still gagging on his tax package  (suntimes.com) (37)
(Huffington Post) Scary While we're all distracted by the Republican primary circus, the Koch brothers quietly collect $100 million, $60 million of it from them personally, to defeat Obama in November. Thanks, Citizens United  (huffingtonpost.com) (300)
(Some Guy) Followup Obama's Dilemma: how to dissuade Israel from bombing Iran without alienating pro-Israeli voters in November. So, the Obama admin has told Israel that the U.S. won't support an attack on Iran... quietly  (ipsnews.net) (247)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives its readers a chance to beat the scores of the FARK regulars in The Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy version)  (huffingtonpost.com) (9)
(BBC) Scary Fireman assumes task of guiding plane into landing after air traffic controllers fail to show up for work. Looks like he picked the wrong week to quit drinking  (bbc.co.uk) (103)


Fri February 03, 2012
(YouTube) Strange A-Ha's Take On Me, as interpreted by a quintet of North Korean accordionists  (youtube.com) (50)
(Fark) Survey Fark Quiz time, you know the drill. Can you beat your score from last week?  (fark.com) (53)
(Slate) Amusing Protip: Whenever a news story ends with a question mark, the answer is always "no". Case in point: "Is Bill Belichick quietly the NFL's best-dressed coach?"  (slate.com) (21)
(Mirror.co.uk) Sad The number of Brits dying from alcohol related causes is equivalent to a major plane crash every 17 days  (mirror.co.uk) (61)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Life.com) Obvious Incredibly, there was a time when Marilyn Monroe was actually quite attractive. No. Really. It's true  (life.time.com) (108)
(Globe and Mail) Unlikely "The best thing I can do for today's youth is quit"  (theglobeandmail.com) (67)
(Mirror.co.uk) Hero Last surviving member of original SAS dies at age 92, will be buried in a quiet ceremony together with his enormous brass balls  (mirror.co.uk) (51)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing There's nothing quite like buying a car, taking it for a spin, picking up the ladies, and watching it roll down a hill into a brand new swimming pool  (heraldsun.com.au) (65)
(Some Guy) Ironic The top 10 colleges where kids in America pretend to be wizards and compete in Harry Potter Quidditch...is this really higher education?  (collegemagazine.com) (125)
(Some Guy) Sad Just because your grandmother snuck you a shot of brandy when you were a kid doesn't mean you need to give yours Methadone and Nyquil  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sports news: Topps releases 2012 baseball card set. Fark : St Louis Cardinal Skip Schumaker was replaced by a squirrel  (inquisitr.com) (38)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Richmond Times-Dispatch) Stupid Virginia is for lovers: Instead of killing bill to require an ultrasound before an abortion, Democratic State Senator amends it instead: UFIA for guys wanting ED treatment  (www2.timesdispatch.com) (198)
(CNN) Interesting Use of euphemisms is distorting the truth about what happened at Penn State when Jerry Sandusky played squish the wrinkly Vienna sausage into the budding brown balloon knot  (cnn.com) (50)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Winnipeg Sun) Spiffy Winnipeg Sun highlights the week's events and uses FARK's headline to show how Michael Jackson's kids are quickly growing up (2nd section)  (winnipegsun.com) (1)

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