Headlines matching 'Pre'
Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
Tue February 07, 2012
Mon February 06, 2012
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Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico (latino.foxnews.com)
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| (411Mania) |
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Latest ABCNews poll has President Obama leading Mitt Romney 51-45%, and by more than 2 to 1, voters say that the more they learn about Romney, the less they like him. This is bad news...for Obama (411mania.com)
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Having seen the successes of the past decade, 49% of Americans support bombing Iran to prevent them from gaining nukes (thehill.com)
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Daredevil, who obviously has a death wish, is preparing to break the sound barrier with a leap from the edge of space from 23 miles high, not deploying his parachute until he's 5000 feet from the ground (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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NJ bill would require kids to stay in school until age 18, leaving those who actually graduate when they are 17 in an awkward predicament (nbcphiladelphia.com)
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Question: Why have college tuitions gone up? Joe Biden Answer: Government subsidies like the ones President Obama wants to expand (realclearpolitics.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ke$ha: "When I'm depressed I make my assistant put on a penis outfit and dance around" (digitalspy.com)
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The RCP average of President Obama's job approval rating is now positive for the first time since right after Osama Bin Laden was killed. This is bad news... for Obama (realclearpolitics.com)
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| (BattleSwarm) |
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Remember unrepentant SOPA sponsor Lamar Smith (R-MPAA)? He now has a primary challenger. Prepare to taste the fury of a fully operational Internet (battleswarmblog.com)
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As predicted in 2011, the Obama administration revises the rules on how to calculate the jobless rates, just in time to kickoff his reelection campaign (washingtontimes.com)
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| (Sci Mag) |
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News: Scientists accidentally make a sheet of glass only three atoms thick, analyze its structure. Fark: It exactly matches a prediction made by a glass theorist in 1932 (news.sciencemag.org)
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In Nevada victory speech, Romney says his mission is to "save the soul of America" - presumably by letting America die and then retroactively baptising it (news.yahoo.com)
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M.I.A. flipped America off during Madonna's 2012 Super Bowl halftime show, just as the Mayans predicted she would (uproxx.com)
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Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
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A-Ha's Take On Me, as interpreted by a quintet of North Korean accordionists (youtube.com)
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University hires top ninja chief as business-school professor, researching how to apply ninja precepts to business world (japantimes.co.jp)
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As you can see. A completely ordinary Greek debt. Now, if I just cover it with a handkerchief & say, "Abracadabra".... Hey presto All gone (bbc.co.uk)
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Roseanne Barr for president. No, really ....STOP LAUGHING (stuff.co.nz)
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| (vindy.com) |
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Alec Baldwin is getting scary good at impressions (vindy.com)
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In a shocking and totally unpredictable move, GOP leaders look to renege on the defense limit cuts called for in last years sequester deal. Obama and Democrats flabbergasted (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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The true hero in the grassroots fight against the Supreme Court's ridiculous Citizens United decision? That would be the one and only Stephen Colbert, of course (slate.com)
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The violence is spreading across Egypt as the football riots continue. Here is a timeline of the events (telegraph.co.uk)
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Since the field is pretty narrow, I'll just go ahead and call this guy a feather duster virtuoso (wimp.com)
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Scientists use deadly plant to create a cancer-killing grenade. But your Skyrim character is pretty impressive, too (gizmodo.com)
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| (Stroked Out Daddy) |
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Yeah, that's pretty much my exact reaction upon hearing Kenny Chesney, too (theboot.com)
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| (Ocala Star Banner) |
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Deputy's attempt to apprehend suspect results in foot chase, pitbull attack, Tasering, and a bystander stabbing himself twice (ocala.com)
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Thu February 02, 2012
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Retired Supreme Court Justice O'Connor on the two leading Republican candidates, "one is a practicing polygamist, and he's not even the Mormon." Please deposit "Oh Snap" images to the right (washingtonpost.com)
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Hipsters, already fans of expensive pre-distressed skinny jeans, flock to expensive belts made from pre-shredded fixie tires (wired.com)
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Leaked plan from Microsoft details the next version of Windows Phone. It's pretty much full of win (engadget.com)
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Facebook will soon offer a "Premium Subscription Service" that will offer you more, and better ads. Now who wouldn't want that? (news.com.au)
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A look at how classic cereal boxes have changed over the years. The Lucky Charms Leprechaun was even creepier in 1963 than he is today (buzzfeed.com)
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| (Sum Gai) |
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Chinese restaurant catches fire. Fortunately there were no injuries, as everyone had prepared for such an event by running around their cars at red lights (woodtv.com)
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| (Anonymous) |
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Anonymous exposes Ron Paul's ties to white supremacists, Nazis, Zuul, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria (pirasec.com)
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Sen. Mike Lee thinks President Obama using his constitutional power to make recess appointments is exactly like the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor and killing 2400 Americans (thinkprogress.org)
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For sale. One US Presidency. Asking $1 billion. Serious rich buyers only, please (latimes.com)
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| (Some Fake Agent) |
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Apparently, the idea of pretending to be a federal agent and pulling people with Ontario plates who visit strip clubs so you can check their car for bombs hasn't gotten old in Hudson (newportrichey.wtsp.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Republican rhetoric about the president is going to cause his assassination, according to Punxsatawnee Jackson (wiod.com)
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So what happens if two "unelectable" candidates, Obama and Romney, square off in the 2012 presidential election? Oh, dear god, the Mayans were right weren't they? (abcnews.go.com)
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Obama: Look, Taliban. I'm a tough war president. I'll negotiate an end to war, but I'm no pushover. Taliban: Okay. Do us a favor first and release these top five leaders from Gitmo. You know, as a gesture. Obama: Super-dooper, guys (foxnews.com)
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Mr. President, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new green jobs initiative sucks (usatoday.com)
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Seattle library lets man watch internet porn, presumably because it's easier to clean the computer screen than to unstick book pages (seattlepi.com)
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| (Boomstick Comics) |
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A prequel to Jackie Brown is in our near future. Sam Jackson does not get eaten by a shark this time (boomstickcomics.com)
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You've traveled in time from the present to 1985. Paradoxes aside, how would you explain the world of 2012 to a group of high school kids? (fark.com)
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Wed February 01, 2012
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Repulsive gravity, previously thought by physicists to only emanate from your mom, may be key to understanding dark matter (physorg.com)
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14-year old girl testifying before MD lawmakers tells them that they should vote to deny people their basic civil rights because it would be "my best birthday present ever" (rawstory.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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We must go back in time to 1983 and prevent George Lucas from making any changes to Star Wars. You must bring your own weapon. Safety not guaranteed. (spoilers) (nerdbastards.com)
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Colorado's biggest embarrassment since the 1997 Denver Nuggets endorses Rick Santorum. In other news, Rick Santorum is evidently still running for president (denverpost.com)
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Tanning beds PREVENT cancer. And treat lupus and fibromyalgia. And skin cancer comes from sunscreen, anyway (theatlanticwire.com)
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I'm not a doctor, but I think you died after inhaling carbon monoxide at a Holiday Inn Express last night (msnbc.msn.com)
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Harry Potter prefers a Hairy Pooter (starpulse.com)
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DC plans Watchmen prequels. When asked for comment, Alan Moore said: I can write characters created by Jules Verne, HG Wells, Robert Louis Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle and Frank Baum, but it's wrong for anyone else to write my characters (nytimes.com)
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WSJ publishes opinion piece which states Obama has an enemies list headed Charles and David Koch, written by... the lawyer for Charles and David Koch. Fox News smiles as its apprentice finally becomes a Sith (politico.com)
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Miley Cyrus broke her tailbone 'doing flips', which is a pretty dumb nickname for her boyfriend, but whatever (thesuperficial.com)
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Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Women abandon Newt for a younger and prettier candidate (news.yahoo.com)
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Claiming you fought in Vietnam War to the press while serving in Afghan War is double daft (stripes.com)
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Steve-O prepares for his next stunt ... to see how fast he can nail Elisabetta Canalis (thesuperficial.com)
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Prince William deploys for six-week tour of the Falklands. Presumably Harry is busy infiltrating Argentina, because one more person in a Nazi uniform over there wouldn't stand out (guardian.co.uk)
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REM's Everybody Hurts voted most depressing song of all time. Would you agree? (telegraph.co.uk)
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Tue January 31, 2012
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Stocks post their best January since '97. So it must be the Bush recovery. Or the anticipation of a Romney presidency. Or the Jet Stream. Or a celestial convergence. What else could it be? (thedailybeast.com)
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Economist who created the Laffer curve says Gingrich's tax plan is better than Romney's, in much the same way being hit by a Kenworth is preferable to being hit by a Peterbilt (newsmax.com)
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Phil Jackson's memoir to be titled "Eleven Rings", but which one does he consider most precious? (chicagotribune.com)
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Comedian from popular, news-savvy TV show launches Presidential campaign to expose foibles of the political process. No, we're not talking about Stephen Colbert. Come upon my lawn and let me tell you about Pat Paulsen (rollingstone.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The top 10 colleges where kids in America pretend to be wizards and compete in Harry Potter Quidditch...is this really higher education? (collegemagazine.com)
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Best interview question ever? "When you're doing fight scenes with Ewan McGregor, did you ever start to think about a Star Wars prequel? You know, 'I could punch him in the face now and it would be called an accident'" (denofgeek.com)
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Defense Security: "The President decides who is a terrorist and if they should be killed". Keyboard commandos outraged, delete any pre-2009 comments agreeing with this concept (motherjones.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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How rich is Mitt Romney? Take all the wealth from every president from Nixon to Obama. Then double it (starhq.com)
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Alec Baldwin lost 30 pounds after discovering he was prediabetic. Or postdiabetic, Dr. Spaceman always gets those two confused (dailymail.co.uk)
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Top Obama campaign official David Axelrod tweets picture of the President with his dog in the presidential limousine in a jab at Romney: "How loving owners transport their dogs" (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Obama passes on taking 18 of the 20 highest questions offered to him by voters via YouTube during recent Google hangout, but does address the pressing issues of dancing, gaming, and getting the late night munchies (huffingtonpost.com)
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Don't let their oppressive shyness, lack of collaboration skills, unwillingness to speak up, and self-imposed isolation fool you -- introverts can be a real benefit to the workplace (npr.org)
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Mon January 30, 2012
Sun January 29, 2012
Sat January 28, 2012
Fri January 27, 2012
Thu January 26, 2012
Wed January 25, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Couple steals 11 pregnancy tests, man's bond set at $400,000. If he thinks that's bad, wait until he sees the child support payments (ktre.com)
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The Colts hire the Ravens' defensive coordinator to prevent scoring at home; funny, their offense seems to be doing that just fine (espn.go.com)
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Obama's State of the Union address clocked in at "A Separate Peace", whereas his predecessors were more "The Great Gatsby" (politico.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In the Press Freedom index, America falls 27 places to finish at number 47 in the world. USA, USA, USA (thezimbabwean.co.uk)
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| (Some Insider) |
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Photoshop these presidential podiums (i215.photobucket.com)
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"The outside super PACs [are] so disgraceful that I'm ashamed of the Supreme Court. I predict there will be a major scandal associated with the decision on Citizens versus United." What sort of Maverick would say such a thing? (huffingtonpost.com)
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This handy little run-down of top marginal and capital gains tax rates under presidents from FDR to the present might help explain why we used to have money to build roads and fight wars and stuff, and now we don't (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In what is not in any way indicative of a pending attack on Iran, 15,000 US troops enter Kuwait to...spread merriment and joy... Subby will be in his bunker (liverpoolstudentmedia.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why would Miley Cyrus buy her boyfriend a penis cake? Why would she pretend to lick it? Why do I care? Why do you care? I think it was Jean Paul Sartre who said, "Penis?" (socialitelife.com)
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Obama's top 5 successes as president. Hmm. Wonder why they didn't make it a top ten list? (theweek.com)
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George Soros predicts class warfare in the U.S....adding, "Excellleeennnntt" (dailymail.co.uk)
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You're trying too hard for a Mother-of-the-Year nomination if you tell your 12-year-old daughter she'll be pregnant by 16 and predict your 7-year-old daughter will grow up to be a stripper (nwfdailynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Secret Service took a man attempting to deliver a "spiritual message" to former president Bush into custody. Apparently the message involved a gun (wfaa.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you were planning on going to Olympics this year but were concerned that there wouldn't be enough infants and screaming babies present to make it a truly enjoyable experience, I've got some good news for you (moms.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Some guy correctly predicted a year ago what Kyle Williams would do in the NFC Championship Game (examiner.com)
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Believe it or not, Spike Lee's new movie "Red Hook Summer" is being criticized as too preachy (theatlantic.com)
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New study finds that neanderthals may have domesticated the dog as long as 30,000 years ago, far earlier than previously thought. Your dog wants mammoth (azcentral.com)
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Tue January 24, 2012
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"How to raise the next Steve Jobs." No mention of letting your precious snowflake take LSD and drop out of school to backpack around India (cnn.com)
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Google could help stop conspiracy theories from spreading. So why don't they? Is that part of a new conspiracy? (slate.com)
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Cut $50 million from Kentucky's education budget, or cut $43 million for theme park based on literal interpretation of Noah's Ark...decisions, decisions. Bonus: Governor complains about not having enough for education (forbes.com)
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Why the Supreme Court ruling on GPS tracking is worse than it sounds (theatlantic.com)
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| (New Haven Register) |
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Feds arrest four East Haven, Connecticut police officers for racial profiling in pre-dawn raid. Includes bonus video of the officers arresting a white reverend for filming them (nhregister.com)
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Mitt Romney closed his wife's Swiss bank account, presumably because he didn't want Americans to discover he is, in fact, a Bond villain (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Do you sell merchandise online? If so, prepare to meet your new worst tax nightmare, Form 1099-K (consumerist.com)
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Dear Mr. President, in your SOTU speech this evening, I suggest you avoid talking about your first term in office. It won't do you a damn bit of good. Sincerely, Rahm (wlsam.com)
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| (Some Happy Guy) |
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Leading researcher says magic mushrooms could treat depression, details results of study involving seven pink unicorns, two rainbow colored Andean mountain goats and a really long chat with Jim Morrison's ghost (tgdaily.com)
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Kristin Cavallari admits her pregnancy was an accident. Just like most of Cutler's successful completions (tmz.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Beer can pyramid costs AZ man his house as "nearly 1,000" cans prevented firefighters from entering his home to extinguish blaze (myfoxphoenix.com)
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Warriors blow 20-point lead over Grizzlies in worst choking incident since Dubya vs. Pretzel (sfgate.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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New book claims you can prevent cancer by A: Taking baby aspirin? B: Eating lunch at the same time each day? C: Wearing better shoes? or D: All of the above? (www2.macleans.ca)
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Santorum says that pregnant rape victims should realize that they have "a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you" (thinkprogress.org)
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Hobbyist is out flying R/C plane with camera. Look at the pretty landscape--green fields, lush trees, river of blood flowing off behind a meat plant...wait, WHAT? (jalopnik.com)
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Mon January 23, 2012
Sun January 22, 2012
Sat January 21, 2012
Fri January 20, 2012
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They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Dude's got some pretty red windows. Your weekly mugshot round up (thesmokinggun.com)
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Can Melvin Guillard win a fight that matters? Will Jorge Rivera win his retirement fight? Can Pat Barry not get submitted? Its your UFC on FX thread. (6:00 ET for prelims on Fuel TV, 9:00 on FX for Main card) (ufc.com)
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Obama signs off on forcing health insurers to almost universally cover contraceptives in their plans. Insurance carriers to announce premium hikes to cover the high cost of women getting not pregnant (thinkprogress.org)
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President Obama sings opening line of Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" at fundraiser, is immediately accused of using Auto-Tune (content.usatoday.com)
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Storm of controversy after a proposed law would outlaw meteorologists from making unauthorized weather predictions (mnn.com)
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Will shutting down MegaUpload mean the end of file sharing websites? Lets have a minute of silence, or 15 seconds if you are a premium user (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Woman who planned to spread husband's ashes at sea to sue Carnival Cruiselines for doing it for her (guardian.co.uk)
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Iowa Republicans: OK, you know, maybe Santorum didn't win after all. Fark it, stop asking us, there's still another 47 states to go WE DON'T NEED THIS PRESSURE. Oh, dibs on being first in the nation next time, too (npr.org)
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| (Las Vegas Sun) |
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Biden: "...and that's why we need energy for..." Secret Service: "Mr. Vice President we need to evacuate now." Biden: "Well let me answer some qu.." Secret Service: "GET TO THE CHOPPA" (lasvegassun.com)
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Pretty much admitting he was part of the joke all along, Herman Cain and Stephen Colbert will hold a joint political rally tomorrow in SC. If any of you guys are there and don't take pictures, the terrorists win (iheartchaos.com)
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Thu January 19, 2012
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Barack Obama's presidency, three years on - is it time to give up hope? Many one-time believers now say he has no stomach for a fight (guardian.co.uk)
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China unveils pricey "RedPad" iPad clone based on Android, markets it to Communist Party members as patriotic tool for verifying ID cards, reading cadre blogs, managing firms, and oppressing dissidents (reuters.com)
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Another day. Another GOP Presidential Debate. (8pm on CNN) (cnn.com)
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"Newt Gingrich reiterates his plans to be an outlaw president, or if you prefer, a dictator" (dailykos.com)
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His piano playing is even more impressive than his monobrow (wimp.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Head bobbing dog digs music and beer. Prepare to smile. Even all you caturday wack jobs will like it (hell.tv)
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Remember when Newt predicted that it would come down to him and Romney and we all laughed and laughed. Yeah, about that (talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (The Anchoress) |
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Millionaires and billionaires weren't evil when the uber-wealthy John Kerry was running for president (patheos.com)
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Ancient find shows people have been bringing popcorn to arguments 1,000 years longer than previously thought (theregister.co.uk)
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Mitt Romney would be outraged that his high taxes were paying for the cushy government pensions of three other Republican presidential candidates (if he paid high taxes, that is). The only one to opt out? RON PAUL (businessweek.com)
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| (Yeah, I went there) |
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Bones pre-dating the Civil War found hidden in Underground Railroad home may belong to Anne Franklin (battlecreekenquirer.com)
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Iowa GOP: Santorum won Iowa and we're going declare it a tie. BTW, we accidentally lost eight precincts worth of ballots so vote Republican (talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Choking game prevalent on Texas campus, recently perfected at LSU (upi.com)
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Wed January 18, 2012
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CW orders high-school prequel to 'Sex and the City.' Will fans of the original come galloping or say neigh? (insidetv.ew.com)
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At this point subby is beginning to think that even a video of some random guy doing a bass cover of Cid Creole & the Coconuts' "Endicott" has a fighting chance. (difficulty: is actually pretty good) (youtube.com)
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Religious leaders sign letter opposing gay marriage because if it were legal, they'd be seen "as bigots, subjecting them to the full arsenal of government punishments and pressures reserved for racists" (sltrib.com)
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Some young stars may be much older than previously thought. The opposite could be said of Lindsay Lohan (sciencedaily.com)
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The "Justified" season premiere was 20 gallons of liquid terrific in a ten-gallon hat (warmingglow.uproxx.com)
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While we're doing really random topics, at least let's consider one that will have an impact on history: If you ran for President, what would you make your #1 issue? (fark.com)
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"Fark.com is being satirical in their support, as you might expect from the premier purveyors of the extremely dark and funny headlines." Hey, we're dark, but we have a heart when it comes to SOPA. (11th item from bottom) (live.theglobeandmail.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman who was hit by lightning last summer when she was 3 months pregnant gives birth to healthy baby girl. No word if "Sopa Pipa Alberti" has super powers yet (kktv.com)
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Supermodel Cindy Crawford has taken on the role of pushy stage mother for the presumed benefit of her 10-year-old girl child, with a little help from the House of Versace. (kid modeling pics) (bittenandbound.com)
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What do you mean, MPAA and RIAA represented companies profited by distributing filesharing applications like Kazaa and Limewire, while simultaneously suing those companies for enabling infringement? Say it ain't so (youtube.com)
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If Drew and Microsoft agree that something is bad, then it's probably pretty damn bad. And Drew and Microsoft agree that SOPA is bad. QED (zdnet.com)
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Today I realized that I've been pretty much an asshole my entire life, and I am ready to change. Any suggestions? (fark.com)
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3,500 year old cypress tree was destroyed by lightning, not arson. Where's your God now? (abcnews.go.com)
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Preview of tonight's Thunder game. Why? Because fark Seattle, that's why (sports.yahoo.com)
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SOPA can be defeated, with the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball (mlb.mlb.com)
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Step forward if you never had a lengthy premarital affair with the sixty-something abortion provider who delivered you as a baby. Not so fast, Karen Santorum (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sleep preserves and enhances the memory of the time you came home from college a day early and found your parents going at it with that gas-powered dildo from Naked Gun. Damn you sleep (medicalxpress.com)
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Santorum's campaign, on why Bachmann's campaign failed, says that a woman cannot be President as it is against God's will - YEAH NOW WERE TALKING (thinkprogress.org)
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Tue January 17, 2012
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"And we'd like to welcome you to the Olympic wrestling prelimaries. Competing tonight will be...wait a minute. By gawd, King, that's Kurt Angle's music. What's HE doing here?" (msn.foxsports.com)
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Stop the presses. Breaking news out of New York ... Jay-Z says he will change his daughter's diapers (nydailynews.com)
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Scientists develop power source for cyborg cockroaches, impress Dr. Bambi Berenbaum (livescience.com)
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Top prep QB Gunner Kiel totally psyched to play for LSU. Just kidding, he chose Notre Dame instead so he can be close to mommy (aol.sportingnews.com)
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Nukes? I'm pretty sure a ragtag troop of BP workers is all we need. Thanks, but no thanks (desmoinesregister.com)
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So, if I'm reading this correctly -- and I'm pretty sure that I am -- the best way to keep your out-of-pocket girlfriend expenses down is to make sure that there are lots of other girls around, too (usatoday.com)
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What do Fabio Cannavaro, Robert Pires, Hernan Crespo, Maniche, and Robbie Fowler have in common? They'll all be playing in the (Indian) Premier League next year (guardian.co.uk)
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I'm pretty sure this man could be the worst professional tattoo artist in existence (iheartchaos.com)
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Mon January 16, 2012
Sun January 15, 2012
Sat January 14, 2012
Fri January 13, 2012
Thu January 12, 2012
Wed January 11, 2012
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The Pentagon wants to "lower the temperature" when it comes to Iran. Preferably to absolute zero (thehill.com)
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Television manufacturers are now exploring ways to ditch the remote, presumably because it's too much exercise while watching TV (csmonitor.com)
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House GOP plans to introduce a measure condemning the President's recess appointments...as soon as they return from recess (dailykos.com)
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Washington State Supreme Court to rule on landmark case "Emotionally Distressed Cop vs. Burger King Employee Who Spit In His Whopper" (seattlepi.com)
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The Supreme Court takes a break from its busy schedule of stripping consumer protections, empowering corporations, and nullifying property rights to decide that employees can be fired for lacking religion (foxnews.com)
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I, for one, look forward to serving under President British Petroleum (thinkprogress.org)
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Romney's "I used to worry about getting fired too" line reveals that in his own mind, he believes he's a self-made man. Which is a problem because "delusional" is a bad thing for a president to be (news.yahoo.com)
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Supreme Court to ABC attorney arguing FCC case: "Can you prove that public nudity isn't always indecent?" Attorney points upward, to impressive collection of bare asses carved into frieze ringing Supreme Court chamber (slate.com)
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Polish prosecutor who shot self on Monday during a press conference had an $800,000 bounty on his head and wanted to prevent military prosecutors from being replaced by civilians (news.nationalpost.com)
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| (Some Silver Haired Guy) |
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Forget the economy, foreign policy, social issues. Nope, more important factor to consider in the presidential race is who has the best hair (mcsweeneys.net)
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Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of "The Supremes vs. America," where the Black-Robed Cabal declares arbitration clauses are people, too (npr.org)
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How low is the bar set for Rick Perry? He just impressed locals in South Carolina by recognizing okra. Reporters eagerly standing by to see if he orders a "pop" or "soda" (azstarnet.com)
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You know it must be a bad crop of GOP presidential candidates if Stephen Colbert is polling at 5% in South Carolina when he's not even running (uproxx.com)
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Our country's preparedness for potential nuclear winter survival headed toward an all-time low (money.cnn.com)
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"GAGA prepares to munch some organic rug" (theregister.co.uk)
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Fidel Castro endorses a robot for President of the United States, completely unaware of the 58% chance of a fatal robot attack (blogs.villagevoice.com)
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What do you do if you're annoyed that a waiter (at your wife's request) has brought the bill sooner than you prefer? Well, if you're an equity firm CEO/corporate raider, you break the waiter's ring finger, of course (gawker.com)
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It turns out McCain didn't want to be President (huffingtonpost.com)
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Tue January 10, 2012
Mon January 09, 2012
Sun January 08, 2012
Sat January 07, 2012
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Tonight, the remaining GOP candidates square off in preparation for the New Hampshire primary. Will Santorum blast Romney? Will it be worth watching since Bachmann is gone? The derp begins at 9pm ET on ABC (washingtonpost.com)
|
| (LOL Fight Card) |
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Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine Middleweight Championship discussion thread. Preliminary bouts start at 8pm ET on Showtime Extreme (sbnation.com)
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Michael Savage calls President Obama a "dictator coming out of his chrysalis." Oooh, someone got Savage a word-a-day calendar (wnd.com)
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Yoga can fix spinal injuries, strokes, compressed nerves, ruptured tendons, cerebral damage, torn rotator cuffs, and degenerative hips. Wait, did I say "fix"? I meant "cause" (nytimes.com)
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Kristy McNichol comes out as gay, depressed (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Vancouver Sun) |
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Vancouver's world-famous "Japadog" expanding to NYC to take on city's classic street hot dogs. Whose wiener will reign supreme? (blogs.vancouversun.com)
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Actual headline: RuPaul Is 'Campaigning' In New Hampshire To Spread Awareness That He Is Not Ron Paul. "Any time a man leaves the house in a wig and a pair of cha cha heels, he's making a political statement." RUPAUL (mediaite.com)
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| (Vietnam News Agency) |
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Farmer unearths ancient bronze drum that was beaten by Dongs. Impressive. Ouch, but impressive (vietnamnews.vnagency.com.vn)
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In case if you have missed it, yesterday was the day that President Obama's lawyers went before the Supreme Court to explain how forcing Americans to give money to corporations is somehow constitutional (reuters.com)
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The 50 coolest books ever require a smug reading face, an ironic pipe and an audience of on-lookers to impress/annoy (shortlist.com)
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| (wlbz.com) |
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The Maine Attorney General's office wants you to know that Disney really doesn't want your precious snowflake for any of their television shows, no matter what you heard on the radio (wlbz2.com)
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C. Feldman alleges molestation, issues B.moresque era-appr. quip: "It was basically me laying there pretending I was asleep..." Plans to out alleged pedophiles when advantageous to alleged career. Hey C.F.-- What up with the youth? (dailymail.co.uk)
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Gold ring lost for decades returned after being found in underwater cave, described as 'precious' (dailymail.co.uk)
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Fri January 06, 2012
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Sen. John McCain: "I am confident with the leadership and backing of the American people, President Obama will turn this country around" (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Last night's Jersey Shore season premiere proved one thing: we're all tired of Jersey Shore (insidetv.ew.com)
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Bill O'Reilly says his show will "play a major role in the presidential race." You can't explain that (newshounds.us)
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| (American Independent) |
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According to the president of the American Family Association, HIV does not cause AIDS. Nope, it's caused by too much gay sex (americanindependent.com)
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West Virginia's Darwin Cook learns that the Orange Bowl mascot he tackled was a girl. His facial expression says it all (sportsgrid.com)
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"President Obama has exceeded his powers by making a recess appointment" says the guy who said the last President had the legal right to crush a child's testicles (andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com)
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President Obama is trying to tie the Republican candidates to the unpopular Congress using a two-tier strategy. Let's see if the Republicans notice (nytimes.com)
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Psychic spider-monkey will predict the winner of the New Hampshire primary. It's more scientific than a caucus, at least (nymag.com)
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Ladies, when you were pregnant...what retarded drivel/advice not based on actual science or reality did you hear from friends, family, coworkers or random strangers? Anything from guessing the sex of the baby to your personal diet to birthing (fark.com)
|
| (96.1 Kiss) |
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For the lovers out there, the Pittsburgh Zoo is offering an Adults Only Valentines Dinner with exotic animal mating presentation (961kiss.com)
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The same security camera that captured a man stealing a family's Christmas presents also captures him returning them two days later with an apology note. Unclear if you can see his heart grow three sizes (cbsnews.com)
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| (wmal.com) |
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GOP Florida Rep. Allen West hates President Obama's plan to cut military spending and that Speaker Boehner is leading an effective "kabuki dance" in Congress. Now there's a horrifying image you can never take back (wmal.com)
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Let's go over the minutes from the last meeting - the mayor, the city council president, and the city councilman are being investigated by the feds. Okay, next order of business - more rights for the city of Washington DC (myfoxdc.com)
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Jay-Z and Beyonce's baby preparation checklist: private suite, flat screen TV, gourmet chef, custom "birthing weave" (celebitchy.com)
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Real Housewife of Atlanta to start new sex toy line. Presumably called Narcissism and with models called trophy and "looks pretty but shouldn't speak" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Researchers take time out from trying to prove water is wet, fire hot, by discovering people prefer their dates to be attractive (upi.com)
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Kentucky Woman indicted on charges of threatening former President George W. Bush. Neil Diamond reported to be inconsolable (washingtonpost.com)
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Thu January 05, 2012
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Newt Gingrich named geekiest GOP presidential candidate by Scientific American; promptly cancels his subscription and starts subscribing to Discover (scientificamerican.com)
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NBC: "We oppose premeditated NFL celebrations, unless we're the ones premeditating them" (deadspin.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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January is National Birth Defect Prevention month. Luckily for Farkers, you can get your daily requirement of folic acid from the orange juice in your average screwdriver (nbdpn.org)
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Ha ha, look at those poor saps in 1900 try to predict life in the year 2000+, they had no idea that...wait, holy crap (io9.com)
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President Obama to announce his summer jobs plan. Experts predict the economic effects shall be similar or exactly the same as all of his previous job plans (jsonline.com)
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"I'd like two hot dogs all the way, a shot of moonshine, and for you to put your hands behind your back and spread 'em" (downtownjax.firstcoastnews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The five young, gay Iowa Republican caucus-goers interviewed in this article have bright futures as pretzel bakers, contortionists (washingtonblade.com)
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Gingrich: "I represent a genuine insurgency." Apparently didn't get the memo explaining how the U.S. deals with insurgents (foxnews.com)
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Florida man bitten, stabbed after argument with girlfriend over missing New Year's Eve 'ball drop' on TV. To prevent future 'ball drop' violence, police suggest he set his DVR next time (blogs.tcpalm.com)
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After I finish updating my Facebook page with precise details on my location and actions, and Tweet about what I just did in the bathroom, remind me to tell you about the seven signs that show we're living in the post-privacy era (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)
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In pushing for quick approval of the Keystone pipeline, the oil industry's top lobbyist tells Obama that he's got real nice presidency there, it'd be a shame if something happened to it (boston.com)
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| (Guitar World) |
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Lamb of God frontman announces Presidential candidacy. Now you've got someone to vote for (guitarworld.com)
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Wed January 04, 2012
Tue January 03, 2012
Mon January 02, 2012
 |
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Advert points out that men don't wear tampons. Outrage predictably ensues (3news.co.nz)
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The eleven most intriguing missing persons of 2011. Eight are pretty white girls, with a token black girl, a white boy, and one ugly girl (abcnews.go.com)
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If you're not doing anything around 2a.m. EST (0700 GMT) on Wednesday, you may want to go outside and look up. NASA predicting that the Quadrantid meteor shower will be peaking at around 100 meteors per hour (space.com)
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British doctors suggest not flushing toilets to reduce the spread of diarrhea along with not brushing teeth to reduce spread of cavities (abcnews.go.com)
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Iowa voters don't feel the remaining Republican candidates for President give them enough options. Apparently some chapters of the DSM-IV still don't have candidates representing them (cnn.com)
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A record number of guns were bought in America as Christmas presents. That'll teach the jolly fatman to think twice about breaking into our homes in the dead of night (telegraph.co.uk)
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The overhyped, unrepresentative Iowa caucuses (cbsnews.com)
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Top GOP electoral outcomes the press is secretly hoping for: 1) RON PAUL because RON PAUL, 2) Huntsman because hot daughters and wife, 3) a late entry because no, not Santorum, he's at 5) (newyorker.com)
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Everything tin foil hatters need to know about the tin foil hat candidate, such as how his tin foil hat image is the result of tin foil hat lies spread by tin foil hatterists against him (trutv.com)
|
Sun January 01, 2012
Sat December 31, 2011
| |
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Handsome President and all-around swell guy Mitt Romney calls Barack Obama "a footnote in history" (link updated) (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Microsoft said to be developing new 'Superphone' that will make the upcoming iPhone 5 irrelevant, presumably by orbiting the Earth so rapidly it makes the young Steve Jobs go to work for Microsoft (forbes.com)
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Here at Walmart, we aren't experts like those guys at Taco Bell, but we're pretty sure that million dollar bill is fake (foxnews.com)
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| (Protective People) |
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Police ponder public porn problem? Pfft, proliferation protests push puritanical principles. Protecting pre-pubescent progeny praiseworthy, providing poised policy pursued (windsorstar.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's edition of "OH SNAP" brought to you by Wes Welker's retort after being fined $10,000 for wearing an unauthorized hat during postgame press conference: "Thanks for warning me the other 16 weeks I wore the hat" (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Free crack pipes, free crack pipes, see how they smoke, see how they smoke, Vancouver is giving them out for free, to prevent Hepatitis and HIV, did you ever see such a sight as could be, as free crack pipes (montrealgazette.com)
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Prison inmates have registered with the IRS as tax preparers. Will take payments in cash, candy bars, cigarettes (usatoday.com)
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Gov. Perry would rather support a very costly idea than press 1 for English (cbsnews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Paintings and drawings by U.S. soldiers from WW I to the present. 114 pics. No slideshow (cracktwo.com)
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Mitt Romney, on Pres. Obama: "He's in Hawaii right now. We're in the cold, in the rain, in the wind because we care about America." Because fark Hawaiians (slatest.slate.com)
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Fri December 30, 2011
Thu December 29, 2011
 |
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Mary Kaye Huntsman discusses Jon Huntsman's presidential chances. They fall somewhere between "fat" and "slim" (deseretnews.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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President of "E" Network explains why the Kardashian family is so popular, and strangely never once uses the phrase "a Dark Pact with the Infernal Lord" (sheknows.com)
|
| (Investors Business Daily) |
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Jon Huntsman most closely aligns with American's self-reported political views, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Obama has to change his name to "Rodrigo" and become a ventriloquist (news.investors.com)
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President refuses to glad-hand and schmooze Washington insiders, clearly he's aloof and perfunctory. President loves to glad-hand and schmooze Washington insiders, clearly he's corrupt and pandering (nytimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bikini barista espresso stand sues barista for going to work at competing bikini barista espresso stand (thejobmouse.com)
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The Iowa chairman for Michele Bachmann's presidential campaign has left his position and signed on with RON PAUL. This is the biggest blow a Bachmann has taken since Marcus realized he didn't have $500 on him for that transvestite hooker (caucuses.desmoinesregister.com)
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Stay Puft Marshmallow Man hailed as, 'Supreme Leader." All I wanna know is, who cuts his hair? (news.yahoo.com)
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How to reach representatives of your government in a way they'll actually read what you wrote. For your local evangelical conservatives, just hang out at a rest area like you're cruising and two or three will be by presently (lifehacker.com)
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Karl Rove's political predictions for 2012: Republicans will keep the House, take the Senate, Obamacare will be overturned, Sarah Palin will become president, and Obama will be forced to take a job shoveling elephant crap at the circus (realclearpolitics.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Following the lead of Pinellas County, Florida in protecting American precious bodily fluids is Hartland Township... Michigan? (hartland.patch.com)
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| (GRRM) |
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George R.R. Martin releases preview of "Winds of Winter", Book 6 in the Song of Fire and Ice series (georgerrmartin.com)
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Kasey Kahne has to apologize for anti-breastfeeding tweets, presumably after those three cougars who stalk him got really mad (seattlepi.com)
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Banks submit proposals to be allowed to profit off the collapse of the housing market, presumably under the you break it, you bought it rule (huffingtonpost.com)
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Robert Reich's prediction for 2012 (based on absolutely no inside information): Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden swap places, Biden becomes Secretary of State - so get ready for a Obama-Clinton Presidential ticket (huffingtonpost.com)
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Catholic school teacher fired for becoming pregnant through artificial insemination. You know, the last time a woman had a kid with no father present, they made her a saint (dailymail.co.uk)
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Ecuador prepares for the traditional New Year's incineration of Incredible Hulk and Papa Smurf (io9.com)
|
| (Torrent Freak) |
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Over 800 IP addresses assigned to the U.S. House of Representatives used for illegal torrent sharing (torrentfreak.com)
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Wed December 28, 2011
Tue December 27, 2011
Mon December 26, 2011
Sun December 25, 2011
Sat December 24, 2011
Fri December 23, 2011
| (GovWin) |
|
Get last-minute gift ideas from the Army's PEO Soldier Portfolio, or if you prefer, a printable calendar from the National Counterterrorism Center (govwin.com)
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Since you weren't doing very much at work this week, the Fark Weird News Quiz should be pretty easy. Right? (fark.com)
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 |
A wrap-up of this week's Headline of the Year contests, a preview of next week, and the Headlines of the Week for 12/11 - 12/17 (fark.com)
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Happy holidays from Fox News, where President Obama is a "skinny, ghetto crackhead" (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Rick Santorum has a new 'popup video' ad in Iowa. Make your own popup video ad for a Presidential candidate (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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Precambrian fossils, once thought to be embryos, reinterpreted as... omelettes, I guess (arstechnica.com)
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21-year old man emerges from a coma just as doctors were preparing to turn him into spare parts. Reportedly told doctors he felt happy, felt like taking a walk (news.yahoo.com)
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Napoleonic invasion, demonic possession, zombies, perverts and crashing Santas - just how do English councils prepare for the worst? (thisisplymouth.co.uk)
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If a pigeon is flying eastbound over your driveway at 6 mph, and you just finished washing your car 11 minutes ago, how is it able to precisely calculate exactly when to crap all over it? (mnn.com)
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"Thank you for calling MegaCorp's customer service line brought to you by McDonalds. Please enjoy this 15 second commercial. Thank you. If you think you are right, press 1. If you know you are wrong, press 2." *presses 1* *click* (salon.com)
|
Thu December 22, 2011
| |
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One recent poll found that 84% of U.S. adults claim they'd prayed in the past week. This might be impressive if we knew they weren't praying to win the lottery or to be hung like Ron Jeremy (newsmax.com)
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As if you needed another reason to not use GoDaddy, they're pretty much the only Internet company that supports SOPA (arstechnica.com)
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Yes Virginia, the Galaxy Nexus phone comes preloaded with Verizon crapware (gizmodo.com)
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House Majority Leader Eric Cantor invites President Obama to negotiations on Capitol Hill, says "He could bring his dog" because I'm pet friendly. Ummmm, whatever you're into Mr Cantor (realclearpolitics.com)
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 |
House Republicans cave to outside pressure, agree to compromise with Democrats. This is not a repeat from ever (nationaljournal.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Perhaps the only thing more obnoxious than people who spend a small fortune each year on Christmas presents for their children are the people who spend a small fortune on presents for their pets. "He's getting a costume and a hat" (ktar.com)
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Presenting the "Muggies," TSG's mug shots of the year. Witness clowns, cleavage, a bride, self-mutilation, and Lindsay Lohan (thesmokinggun.com)
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Kris Humphries returns to New Jersey Nets for preseason basketball game. Just like his marriage, he's heavily booed and fails to score (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Who said democracy was dead? Meet Vermin Supreme, presidential candidate (gloucestertimes.com)
|
| (Visual.ly) |
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Visual.ly presents the 20 best visualization graphics of 2011. Also known as Chart Porn at its finest (blog.visual.ly)
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Stone Temple Pilots' Scott Weiland releasing Christmas album. Plans to give a new personal interpretation of "White Christmas" (edition.cnn.com)
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North Korean media reports that moments before Kim Jong-Il's death, there was a mysterious red glow emanating from the sacred mountain they claim he was born on. Apparently Satan was preparing the VIP entrance (salon.com)
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The complete guide on how to give people the Christmas presents they actually want (slate.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Psychic Fails: 2011 Failed and Forgotten Predictions. Guess they didn't see that coming (therelativelyinterestingblog.blogspot.com)
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Matt Damon dismisses Barack Obama as 'one-term President' (telegraph.co.uk)
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I'm not saying it was aliens who created this ten-thousand-year-old obsidian bracelet with micrometer precision...but it was aliens (physorg.com)
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Presenting the latest in amazing phone technology: The Hall & Oates Hotline (npr.org)
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Tourist decides to go on a hiking trip to the taliban-infested mountains of Afghanistan, with predictable results (cbc.ca)
|
Wed December 21, 2011
Tue December 20, 2011
| (NBC Sports) |
|
Pa state supreme court rules that you can trade sex for things as long as you don't do it as a business (hardballtalk.nbcsports.com)
|
| (Some Goal) |
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Almost 20,000 Premier League goals have been scored, and here's an infographic breakdown of who's scored them and where they've been scored (imgur.com)
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2011's worst predictions: Qaddafi says rebels will lose, Karl Rove says Palin will run, Conde Naste calls Libya a tourist hot spot, preacher claims the world will end, and...Thomas Edison says taxis will be made of solid gold? (foreignpolicy.com)
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Merrill Lynch says Canadian real estate market is in a bubble and prices could plunge 5% to 10% over the next year. Hmm, actually, -10% returns are pretty good in this economy (theglobeandmail.com)
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Scottish Premier League wants to create "safe-standing areas" in stadiums, though the thought of thousands of people standing and leaping about in seated areas worries them (guardian.co.uk)
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Japan's candy version of sushi. It must be freshly prepared, it's more about presentation than taste, and the roe is creepily reminiscent of eyeballs. Same goes for the candy (cnngo.com)
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University of Texas College Republicans President tweets: "My president is black. He snorts a lot of crack." Is our children learning, indeed (huffingtonpost.com)
|
| (German Herald) |
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New laboratory is growing human skin from foreskins collected from infants. It's safe, completely natural and the only side effect is that when burn victims see pretty women, they stand up straighter (germanherald.com)
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Mon December 19, 2011
Sun December 18, 2011
Sat December 17, 2011
Fri December 16, 2011
Thu December 15, 2011
 |
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African ant can paralyze and kill prey without even touching it. Don't worry -- there's almost zero chance that one of them will crawl into your nose tonight as you sleep (labspaces.net)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Daddy says: "My son is not that kind of a person." TFA says: "... other arrests were on charges of burglary, car theft, aggravated battery on a pregnant woman, drug possession and resisting arrest." Bonus: DRT (news4jax.com)
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What if someone predicted the wars, middle east uprisings, US housing bubble and economic collapse, dollar crisis, erosion of civil liberties, expanding government, & class warfare in 2002. Would you vote for them to be President? (youtube.com)
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Democrats didn't improve anything and nothing has been made better. According to President Obama's own standard, and contrary to what he said on "60 Minutes," he does not deserve a second term (townhall.com)
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Driver manages to drive the wrong way for eleven miles on the Edens Expressway (chicagotribune.com)
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Not impressive: a cover of War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Impressive: On a piano (youtube.com)
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Men are oppressing women by allowing women to earn more with better jobs while staying home playing video games, drinking beer, watching porn and boffing their mother-in-laws (nytimes.com)
|
Wed December 14, 2011
Tue December 13, 2011
Mon December 12, 2011
Sun December 11, 2011
| |
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English Premier League is USA's top soccer league, with huge edge in TV ratings, talent, and salaries over MLS. "The passion that you see in the Premiership, it's unique. It's something that really draws American fans in" (latimes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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I have no idea what's going on, so here's a tiger with a Christmas present on its head (mailonsunday.co.uk)
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Four things go into a pilot's pre-flight takeoff weight calculation: The plane, the passengers, and the baggage. Wait, that's only three... hmm, what's missing? (huffingtonpost.com)
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Have you ever wondered what Peter Parker would look like if he were a sparkly emo pretty boy instead of a geek? Well, the teaser poster for the new Spider-Man movie answers that question quite definitively (hollywoodreporter.com)
|
Sat December 10, 2011
Fri December 09, 2011
Thu December 08, 2011
Wed December 07, 2011
Tue December 06, 2011
| |
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Guy with a mullet, whistling on a talk show. Subby is pretty sure that this video is why the internet was invented (youtube.com)
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|
Ancient meat-loving predators survived for over 35 million years because aliens (sciencedaily.com)
|
| (doctorwhonews) |
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Doctor Who's one-minute prequel to The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe is a tad surprising (doctorwhonews.net)
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Donald Trump finds no proof Obama's mother was even in the hospital in Hawaii, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Obama has to walk down K Street wearing a T-shirt with "FART" written in big letters on it (wnd.com)
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Week 14 in the Premier League: That strange, vertigo-inducing television angle at White Hart Lane makes the matches look like a video game. If that's the case, that kid from The Last Starfighter is currently controlling the Tottenham team (grantland.com)
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In the Bible, a man named Barak was supposed to lead the Israelites to fight the Canaanites. But Barak wimped out, so Deborah stepped up and led the charge. In present day terms, Deborah is Michele Bachmann, and Barak is, obviously, Taxbongo (wnd.com)
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Dog people vs. cat people. Yeah, it's pretty much what you expected (shine.yahoo.com)
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In a trolltastic move, the GOP will introduce the "Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act (PRENDA)" tomorrow, to protect the civil rights of fetuses based on race and sex (thinkprogress.org)
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"Police arrested a woman they said killed her friend and hid her body under a pile of Christmas presents" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Mon December 05, 2011
Sun December 04, 2011
Sat December 03, 2011
Fri December 02, 2011
Thu December 01, 2011
| |
|
Cabbages & Condoms, and 8 other restaurants contributing to Bangkok's evolution from "pretty bizarre" to "Japanese" (cnngo.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Are you sitting down? Now, I don't want to alarm anyone, but it turns out that abstinence-only education leads to higher teen pregnancy rates (eurekalert.org)
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It will only cost $85,000 to repair the parks used by Occupy Portland. That's some impressive job creation (oregonlive.com)
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Obsidian to develop South Park RPG. Pundits can't decide whether the game will be more immature or premature (kotaku.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"I'm sorry, but you are President of the damn United States of America. You have to do what is right for the country and not worry about the political ramifications" (thefiscaltimes.com)
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| (York Dispatch) |
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Pretend you have robbed a business. Do you: A - Flee as fast as possible to avoid capture, B - Go to a hideout no one can find you at, C - Call the business to see if anyone got your license plate number using your own cell phone? (yorkdispatch.com)
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Fox president all but confirms Prometheus is an alien prequel, says he's "heartbroken" about the leaked footage. But not as heartbroken as the people who watched it expecting some excitement (avclub.com)
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French President Sarkozy says France and Germany must converge economically, possibly over a glass of Vichy water (bbc.co.uk)
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If elected, Jon Huntsman would be the first U.S. president with an Emmy (washingtonpost.com)
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It takes a German paper to state the obvious about the GOP presidential race (spiegel.de)
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Romney camp preparing to launch an attack against Newt Gingrich. Fortunately, there's no way they can miss (politico.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Blakeney had previously admitted causing criminal damaging to an inflatable duck costume " Bonus: prosecutors name (birminghammail.net)
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Wed November 30, 2011
Tue November 29, 2011
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Donald Trump says he'll join the Presidential race in May when his "Celebrity Apprentice" contract expires, but only if Republicans can't field a viable candidate. So, President Trump 2012 then (cbsnews.com)
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Newt Gingrich likes to write off his previous support of an individual mandate as an indiscretion from the 90s. But he supported the idea as lately as 2008, the same year Democrats started talking about implementing it (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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The new woman accusing Cain: History of financial problems? Check. Currently in debt? Check. Falsely accused others in past? Check. Lost a libel suit when she previously made a similar accusation? Check. Media: so she's trustworthy, right? (dailymail.co.uk)
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Israeli authorities apologize to pregnant NYTimes reporter who was forced to go through an X-ray machine three times and then strip searched by soldiers after she asked to avoid the x-ray machine for fear of harming her fetus (businessweek.com)
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Kelly Preston shed 39 pounds after giving birth at 48. Her secret weapon .... Kirstie Alley (bittenandbound.com)
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Ten year old boys hold press conference to ask us a little favor (theonion.com)
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Iran bans video game for predicting the future (news.yahoo.com)
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Should Supreme Court justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas and Elena Kagan recuse themselves or pull out of the upcoming health care ruling? (cnn.com)
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Yesterday's Democratic ads against Mitt Romney may have given us a preview of the 2012 elections (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Oddly enough, the ol' "Call colleges your daughter is applying to, pretend to be a concerned nurse, and warn them that a rival girl applying for acceptance is a lesbian with an untreated STD" strategy somehow backfired (stuff.co.nz)
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Indiana college students use $45K grant to heat water using the sun. Grad students unimpressed, continue banging rocks together to make fire (wishtv.com)
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| (Some Old Trou) |
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Note: If you're trying to impress chicks at West Point, don't wear an 'Old Trou' t-shirt (wtsp.com)
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RON PAUL pretends to be a friendly Libertarian, but in truth RON PAUL is a true supporter of the rich. That's right, RON PAUL only cares about the rich. But does anyone think he's got a snowball's chance in hell of winning? No (salon.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mike Tyson Sings "The Girl From Ipanema" on a Brazilian TV Show - and does it pretty damn well (complex.com)
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Mon November 28, 2011
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Pima County AZ SWAT team learning that it's a lot harder to sweep a questionable shooting under the rug when the guy you shoot is a Marine vet you can't even pretend was a bad guy (news.yahoo.com)
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My name is Inigo Martinez. I'm in my own half of the pitch. Prepare to be scored upon (espn.go.com)
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Hard to believe that several years ago, we were looking at him for our President. The true Powell surfaced. He was NEVER a Republican NEVER (newsbusters.org)
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| (WLUK-TV) |
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Stealing from a church: Pretty hell-worthy. Stealing a pet rabbit from the church's daycare: What the hell is wrong with you? (fox11online.com)
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Massachusetts representative Barney Frank won't seek re-election in 2012, will return to the hundred acre wood to hang out with his animal pals, and guzzle honey all day (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Teenage girl who tweeted a criticism of Kansas Governor and then refused to apologize after pressure from the Governor and her school ends up getting over 6000 followers a day later. Welcome to the internet, Gov. #blowsalot (news.gather.com)
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How to make a home-made pocket-sized espresso machine with a tiny alcohol stove (boingboing.net)
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| (Some Guy) |
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If law enforcement needs to take over your Facebook account so that they can pretend to be you while they investigate your friends, then Facebook will not require a warrant, court order, or subpoena, just a polite request (dailydot.com)
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: Deaf man arrested for noise complaint, held for 25 days while cops find an interpreter (denver.cbslocal.com)
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| (AdAge) |
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Sales of hard cider rise 25 percent in 2011, leading experts to proclaim cider the new craft beer, "drawing premium prices, coveted women drinkers and even more male fans attracted to bold flavors" (adage.com)
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Modern American teenagers appear to have lost their love for cars, preferring to hang out online instead of 'cruising' together. Which leads to the question: What the hell is wrong with modern American teenagers? (bbc.co.uk)
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Sun November 27, 2011
Sat November 26, 2011
Fri November 25, 2011
Thu November 24, 2011
Wed November 23, 2011
Tue November 22, 2011
Mon November 21, 2011
Sun November 20, 2011
Sat November 19, 2011
| |
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UFC 139 - Shogun vs. Henderson KO fest may last slightly longer than 64 seconds. At the very least, there will be more than one fight on TV. Internet prelims on now, Free TV fights on at 8 PM ET, and main card at 9 (msn.foxsports.com)
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So, two months after Occupy begins, a handful of protesters think, "What if, instead of blocking traffic, spreading disease, destroying property, and generally being nuisance, what if we actually did something useful?" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Think the zombie apocalypse is as bad as things can get? Any second now the global coffee supply is going run out. Submitter will be in his bunker brewing hoarded espresso (forbes.com)
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The 10 most creative television show intros. List fails without... wait, actually, it's on there. That one too. Hey, this list is pretty good (pastemagazine.com)
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| (SaveOnBrew) |
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Five ways to tell if you're a prententious beer douche. Running a snarky website while drinking Heineken somehow missing from the list (saveonbrew.com)
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Smarter kids are more likely to abuse illicit drugs than your precious snowflake (io9.com)
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Fri November 18, 2011
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Golden Corral is open for Thanksgiving. Discover how food tastes when it is prepared and eaten solely by people who are utterly unloved and alone (kansas.com)
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After three years of intense scrutiny, the EU claims that water can not, in fact, prevent dehydration (telegraph.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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FedEx avoids original commercial like fast talking man, goes for obvious, cliched, hackneyed, stiff, corporate approved FedEx boxes rube goldberging a message from goose to cute puppy, with a little can't go wrong Johnny Cash. Depressing (mashable.com)
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Colleagues say that casting director really had a great feel for working with children. Police say that's precisely the problem (latimes.com)
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Member of Vikings defense expresses feelings about Packers game (msn.foxsports.com)
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50 years ago today, JFK sent 18,000 military advisors to South Vietnam, ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity in Southeast Asia and forging a bond between the ... what's that? Ohhhh (life.com)
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Doctors find new baby each time pregnant woman goes for scan (dailyrecord.co.uk)
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Why geeks should get behind "Breaking Dawn." Pretty sure you spelled Breaking Bad wrong (wired.com)
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Thu November 17, 2011
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Photos of Mike Krzyzewski with President Bukrz, Krzyne Battier, and others. Warning: slidekrzow (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Since Herman Cain announced he was running for President, Godfather's Pizza has come to be viewed more positively by Republicans, more negatively by Dems. Independents have always thought it was soggy cardboard (brandindex.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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See what you did, TeaParty? White House Shooter "believed he was Jesus and thought President Barack Obama was the anti-Christ" (kptv.com)
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U.S. busts pre-IPO tech scam. So, LinkedIn and Angie's List are getting pulled? (physorg.com)
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Old and busted: Classic photos. New hotness: Previously unseen photos from classic shoots. (Pssst. Marilyn Monroe is sexy. Pass it on.) (life.com)
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Man places signs reading "Car Bomb" and "50-Foot Clearance I.E.D." on woman's car. Cops don't appreciate his sense of vigilance (ajc.com)
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New movie banners for "The Avengers." Agent Coulson is nowhere to be seen, but other than that, they're pretty cool (comicsalliance.com)
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The NYPD strikes back at the OWS protesters with predictable results. (pics of carnage) (live.nydailynews.com)
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Vice President Joe Biden holds transparency meeting behind closed doors. Hey Joe, you're doing it wrong (politico.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Tiger Woods can't seem to put it in the hole at the President's Cup (apnews.myway.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Even the President of the United States can't stop copper thieves from looting. No, not Obama. Abraham Lincoln (wsiltv.com)
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GOP presidential candidate you've never heard of throws his support behind the 99%: "The mayor of New York City is standing on the wrong side of history" (rawstory.com)
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Mariah Yeaters' lawyers don't know what a Justin Bieber is, but her paternity suit is again newly pressed and ready for him to try on (dailymail.co.uk)
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Perry: President Obama "grew up in a privileged way" (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)
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City of Orlando still preparing for NBA All Star Game, halftime entertainment from the Easter Bunny (orlandosentinel.com)
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Sharon Stone joins the cast of Lovelace, presumably as "After" (deadline.com)
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| (Cyprus Mail) |
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When "seeking a pleasant change that would break the monotony of hard work", do not do it by rupturing your friend's intestine with a blast from an air compressor (cyprus-mail.com)
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Wed November 16, 2011
| |
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: a priest, a pregnant teenager, and an 84-year-old woman are hit with pepper spray (washingtonpost.com)
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In one of the ballsiest political maneuvers ever, Herman Cain says that the President simply shouldn't be expected to know things, especially things like foreign policy, because knowing things leads to poor decision making (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Texas College Republican leader: "Hey ya'll, you might be tempted to shoot the President, but don't do it. Oh, damnit, I may have worded that wrong" (abcnews.go.com)
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F/T, competitive pay, benefits, frequent travel may be required, bachelor's degree a must, blood pressure under 140/90, between 62 and 75 inches tall, must speak Russian, fax resume cover letter ATT: NASA (myfoxdc.com)
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Valve wants users of Hat Fortress 2 to make holiday hats, presumably so they can keep their team busy delaying Half-Life 3 (g4tv.com)
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Tired of the Pedo State football program getting all the press, new accuser comes forward claiming the university ignored his abuse claim against a former professor. Just the tip...of the iceberg (abcnews.go.com)
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In a recent CNN poll Obama's 46% approval ranks above only Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford. See, I told you he is a better president than Jimmy Carter (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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The dangers of representing yourself in court: "What did the robber sound like?" "He sounded like you" (mcall.com)
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If you're going to secretly place motion sensitive cameras in trees to spy on someone, make sure the flash is turned off first. Also, deleting crime photos from the memory cards of previous stakeouts won't hurt either (cbc.ca)
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Tue November 15, 2011
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Reporter: Hi, I'm a reporter, this is my press pass, and I'm here to cover OWS. Police: You are under arrest for defying the media blackout *whack, whack, whack, whack* (with video) (theatlantic.com)
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US president insured against crocodile attack. Oh come on, when is he ever going to need.... oh Australia, it makes sense now (abc.net.au)
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Jerry Sandusky's lawyer once impregnated a 16-year-old client. We're gonna need a "Pennsylvania" tag (nydailynews.com)
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LaGrange man accused of stabbing and killing his pregnant girlfriend in 1981. "She was stabbed 34 times in the chest and back." A how how how how how how how how sick can you get? (suntimes.com)
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Two sugary soft drinks per day greatly increases heart attack risk in women and presumably the men who see them naked (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (fox10tv.com) |
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Teens drink bleach to pass drug tests, with predictable results (fox10tv.com)
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Johnny Depp's funeral plans are pretty much what you'd expect them to be (contactmusic.com)
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States converting unemployment checks to BoA prepaid cards, who charges $5 fee per use (thinkprogress.org)
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| (Chicago Business) |
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Is your fainting couch nearby? Are you prepared to clutch your pearls? It seems that the house speaker in Illinois may have been up to shady self-dealing that cost state taxpayers half a billion dollars (chicagobusiness.com)
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Previously conjoined twins leave hospital, now set to go their separate ways (news.yahoo.com)
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Men prefer curvy cakes and straight snakes. This sounds like a lie (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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Mad Men creator wants the show's final episode to end in present day to show us just how warm Joan's knees would be in 2011 (today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Mon November 14, 2011
Sun November 13, 2011
Sat November 12, 2011
Fri November 11, 2011
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Today's stupid celebrity baby name goes to Bachelor "Winner" Shayne Lamas, who gave birth to daughter Press Dahl Lamas-Richie (tmz.com)
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Telemarketing agency raises millions for breast cancer prevention, $10 million of which mysteriously disappears. Telemarketers ask to be taken off of investigator's call list (komonews.com)
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Happy Corduroy Appreciation Day, hipsters (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com)
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Man dies after jumping into Lake Michigan. Authorities suspect that he succumbed to pier pressure (wlsam.com)
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Asked about campaigning, the President replied "I don't think it requires us to go negative [...] We may just run clips of the Republican debates verbatim. We won't even comment on them, we'll just run those in a loop" (content.usatoday.com)
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Penn state attorney who reviewed the 1998 allegations against Jerry Sandusky also happened to represent the Second Mile at the time. Huh. That was convenient (deadspin.com)
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 |
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The Presidential candidates explained in the most helpful way possible - as D&D characters (funnyordie.com)
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| (Studies in Crap) |
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ASCII Star Wars portraits from a 1978 computer magazine look like pretty much like needlepoint squares from a Death Star Memorial quilt (blogs.sfweekly.com)
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"(The Immortals) wasn't historically accurate," grumbled a woman in the elevator after the sneak preview. "I guess that's what we deserve for using free tickets we got at a Blackhawks game" (rogerebert.suntimes.com)
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Mariah Carey says pregnancy has made her voice stronger. Drug stores brace for unprecedented run on cotton balls (nydailynews.com)
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Look, if your fraternal lodge's initiation pranks didn't involve hitting someone on the head with a hornet's nest or pretending to run a person head-first into a spinning sawblade, then your lodge was a bunch of straight-up pansies (huffingtonpost.com)
|
| (Some Authoriteh) |
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While your teenager is bragging about being class president, this kid was just elected mayor (kwwl.com)
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Nurses file lawsuit over the time it takes them to get dressed and undressed, argue they should get paid for the extra 15 minutes a day. This will set a horrible precedent for strippers if they win (denver.cbslocal.com)
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Venezuelan anti-kidnapping / ransom experts join investigation of Wilson Ramos' disappearance. Government prepares for usual demands of $1 million and a player to be named later (latimes.com)
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US Senate to Joe Paterno: No, you can't have a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Not yours (foxnews.com)
|
Thu November 10, 2011
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Antarctica has one of the most comprehensive recycling systems in the world. Newest item on the list of recyclables, dreams (boingboing.net)
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El Presidente Hugo Chávez's cancer is progressing faster than expected, may not live more than six months. Could this mean there's finally a cure for dictators? (miamiherald.com)
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Monday Night Raw ratings continue to get bodyslammed through a press table (bleacherreport.com)
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Mickey Rourke always invites his shrink, dentist, and mechanic to his movie premieres. The only bad thing about this is that they're the same person (starpulse.com)
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Germany, The Netherlands, Austria, and Finland preparing to succeed (guardian.co.uk)
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Roast beans locally, age them depending on season, grind to appropriate fineness, warm up handle, run hot water, mount handle, extract espresso immediately. And only yell highbrow obscenities at your barista if they miss any of these steps (cnngo.com)
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Bachmann expresses her new tax plan in Happy Meals (huffingtonpost.com)
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Rick Perry (R-etard) would eliminate three federal agencies if elected President. Education, Commerce, and... "Oops, I forgot" (huffingtonpost.com)
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Recycling plastic bottles into fleece vests? Meh. Recycling plastic bottles into bulletproof houses? Pretty impressive, Nigeria (bbc.co.uk)
|
Wed November 09, 2011
Tue November 08, 2011
Mon November 07, 2011
| (YNet news) |
|
Obama and French president Sarkozy engage in a little bonding at the G20 Summit. Fark: Over how much they both hate Israeli president Netanyahu (ynetnews.com)
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The United States Supreme Court rules that the color of your skin can be used by prosecutors in trial, with impunity, as a reason to execute you for your crime (abcnews.go.com)
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Among their top presidential candidates, one is as electrifying as oatmeal, another is mired in a scandal, and the third is having to deny he was drunk/high during a major speech. Maybe it IS for the GOP time to panic (news.yahoo.com)
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The Euro event will cause depression, while the more valuable color Rupees only disappoint when they blink away (cnbc.com)
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"For $25,000, a 2054 model red Lexus, going once, going twice, sold to the PreCrime police captain in the corner" (shortlist.com)
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Justin Bieber plans to take a DNA test to prove he is not the father of crazy woman's child, and sue her for spreading the completely untrue rumors that he has sex with women (tmz.com)
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Best science experiment ever: Sending gummy bears to the depths of the South Pacific to study how the pressure will squash them (blog.seattlepi.com)
|
Sun November 06, 2011
Sat November 05, 2011
Fri November 04, 2011
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"Precious" star Gabourey Sidibe has a Twitter imposter. The twist: She's nicer than Gabourey: "My mom was like, 'Wait, people like her, she's lovely, I'm going to follow her'" (starpulse.com)
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MSW pretends to be MD for at least eight years, ordering treatments and testifying for a county court the whole time (detnews.com)
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Bad idea: hiring actors to play "Taliban" giving up their arms, to impress the U.S. ambassador. Fark: forgetting to tell U.S. security (kansascity.com)
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X-Men: First Class is getting a sequel. A sequel to a prequel, what sort of quel is that? (io9.com)
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Scientists have discovered that female trout have more in common with your mom than previously thought (wtop.com)
|
| (What Does It Mean?) |
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US thrown into panic as a soldier wrote his mother saying to "prepare for the end of the world" as massive amounts of equipment, troops are secreted through his base, headed towards "staging areas" throughout America (whatdoesitmean.com)
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Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visits OWS, with predictable results (teamcoco.com)
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China outraged by US cyberspying fingering, would have preferred to make out for a bit and engage in some heavy petting first (theregister.co.uk)
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Roger Ebert reluctantly accepts that celluloid film is dead. "The day is here when most of the new movies I see are in digital. You and I both know how they look, and the fact is, they look pretty good" (blogs.suntimes.com)
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President Obama tells Europe to get its economic house in order so the Euro wouldn't fall. Meanwhile in other news, the dollar continues its downward spiral (nytimes.com)
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It turns out that no amount of airbrushing or photoshopping could make Lindsay Lohan presentable enough for Playboy (foxnews.com)
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President of Universal Studios: "We make a lot of sh*tty movies" (chud.com)
|
Thu November 03, 2011
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Eight random Americans asked what they think about Korean girl group Girls' Generation, whose first U.S. album dropped this week. 30-year-old guy: "Midriffs are always appreciated" (cnngo.com)
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Hugh Jackman cried while watching "Real Steel," presumably from regret (starpulse.com)
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Ladies and gentlemen of Fark, I present the Ketchup Fountain (buzzfeed.com)
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Justin Beiber on Twitter: "I did not lose my virginity to a random 20-year-old fan and get her pregnant after a 30 second sex romp backstage." Justin Beiber to girl's lawyer: "I plead the fifth" (mirror.co.uk)
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"Watchmen" prequel plans will leave you blue in the face (chud.com)
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11/11/11 protesters call for resignation of Obama, VP Joe Biden, the Fartbama cabinet, staff and the unelected czars, as well Supreme Court justices chosen by Taxbama (wnd.com)
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Doctor claims he can turn brown eyes blue. Crystal Gayle, Roxette, Van Morrison reportedly unimpressed (dailymail.co.uk)
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66% opposed forgiveness of student loans. Slideshow goodness of students and the cost of majoring in holistic interpretive dance (huffingtonpost.com)
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Legendary Academy Awards producer Gil Cates passes away at 77. Doctors had predicted 75, but as usual, things went a little long (latimes.com)
|
Wed November 02, 2011
| |
|
"Magical Sunstone", the predecessor to GPS, found in shipwreck salvage (telegraph.co.uk)
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|
Curiosity didn't kill the cat, but it came pretty damn close (collegehumor.com)
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Vampire-like predatory bacteria could become a living antibiotic. Hey, as long as it doesn't sparkle or mope about, I'm fine with that (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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Woman accused of killing pregnant woman, fetus pleads insanity. You would too, if you were kept in solitary for nine months (foxnews.com)
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People rationalize when they have no choices, and rebel when they think they have an out. Although the Fark greenlight system is sometimes capricious, I think it works pretty well over all (sciencedaily.com)
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America's Most Wanted to return to TV December 2nd on Lifetime, will now focus only on deadbeat dads, adulterers, wifebeaters, stalkers, and women who are oppressed by them (washingtonpost.com)
|
| |
|
Week 10 in the Premier League: Chelsea v. Arsenal was "an incredible, 90-minute sales pitch on why this can be the most electrifying sport in the world" (grantland.com)
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Attorney says GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain violated the confidentiality deal, allowing accuser to speak publicly about the allegations. This could be bad for..... Cain (thehill.com)
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Japan: "Damaged reactors could take 30 years to retire" Americans: "That whole mess is still going on? Sheesh, we're a little pre-occupied over here with the Kardashian melt-down, okay? Try to keep up (articles.cnn.com)
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Casey Anthony takes the fifth 60 times, presumably due to the Casey Anthony Court TV Drinking game (cnn.com)
|
| |
|
Analyst predicts that Grand Theft Auto V will be download only. End of the world also coming tomorrow (g4tv.com)
|
Tue November 01, 2011
Mon October 31, 2011
| |
|
Fox News claims President Obama's use of executive orders is a means of circumventing Congress, despite the fact that he's on pace to have signed about as many as George W. Bush (foxnews.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Jessica Simpson confirms that she has been pregnant for the past six years (scoop.today.msnbc.msn.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Slutty Sailor, ✔. Slutty Nurse, ✔. Slutty Ninja Turtle, ✔. Slutty Slut, ✔. Your official Hookerwe'en thread (Link has NSFW pics, presume thread is NSFW) (fitsnews.com)
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NFL cheerleaders are pretty good at the whole Halloween costume thing (withleather.uproxx.com)
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Donald Trump, who based his entire bid for the presidency on allegation that Obama wasn't born in Hawaii, calls Cain allegations 'very unfair' (gop12.thehill.com)
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The entire cast and crew of Doctor Who singing "(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles" for David Tennant's going away present. Feel free to completely geek out for a couple minutes (io9.com)
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|
Milla Jovovich predicts end of the world in her new Mayan calendar (english.pravda.ru)
|
| (MSP Business Journal) |
|
Target announces plans to open stores at midnight on Thanksgiving in an attempt to get shoppers to spend more time in their stores on Black Friday. Of course, time is pretty much the only thing Americans have to spend this Christmas (bizjournals.com)
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The cast of 'Glee' dresses up for Halloween pretty much like you'd expect (dailymail.co.uk)
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Pregnant man says his days of having kids are over. Wants to have histerectomy (dailymail.co.uk)
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Cain's smoking ad campaign manager, who was previously busted for multiple campaign violations in Wisconsin, may have committed campaign violations in Wisconsin (jsonline.com)
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| (NineMSN) |
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Taylor Swift calls in lawyers over photo of topless lookalike being published. Lawyers insist that they can prove it's not Swift because the topless model is capable of different facial expressions (news.ninemsn.com.au)
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If you manage to sneak past the cops and firemen who respond to the burglar alarm you just set off, it might be a wise choice not to decide at that moment to play with the lights and sirens on the pretty fire truck (blogs.sacbee.com)
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Sun October 30, 2011
Sat October 29, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Widespread Panic all over the Interstate (wowt.com)
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So, everyone watched the premieres of Grimm and Chuck last night. Naw, just kidding, everyone was watching the World Series. Now next week, Fox will see their ratings win decline as Fringe will be back (insidetv.ew.com)
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| (Some Fight Card) |
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UFC 137 discussion thread. Baseball is over, CM is a damn punk. But want not, for tonight we have a competitive showing of great fighters that will soothe even the savage liters. Prelims start at 6, main card at 9pm ET (ufc.com)
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Now that Gadhaffi is gone, freedom is spreading across the whole of Libya. Um, except for Benghazi, where Al-Qaeda has been taking over. Oh god dammit you guys, you just ruin everything don't you? (iheartchaos.com)
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Fri October 28, 2011
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It all comes down to one game for the Rangers and Cardinals. The battle for supremacy begins at 7:05 PM Central on Fox. It's your World Series Game 7 Discussion Thread (sports.espn.go.com)
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Hey, instead of trying to find a GOP candidate that can defeat Obama in the next election, why not just file a lawsuit that will prevent Obama from running? What could possibly go wrong? (wnd.com)
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Look Michele, you're pretty, and handle a mean corndog, but you're really not our cup of tea (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
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The next time you read a prediction by so-called "political experts," remember that back in May, George Will said it was certain that either Tim Pawlenty or Mitch Daniels would win the Republican nomination (fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com)
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How one of those crazy anti-Obama email chains ends up a talking point of a major GOP presidential candidate (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Rick Perry to preside over controversial execution. This is not a repeat from Headline is too long; keep it under about 250 characters or so (huffingtonpost.com)
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Vitali Klitschko officially quits boxing to run for President of Ukraine (english.pravda.ru)
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Libtard blasts GOP presidential candidates: "The American people want solutions. You're providing comedy." And by libtard, I mean neoconservative stalwart John Podhoretz (nypost.com)
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Everyone knows that Steve Jobs was pretty anal, but DAMN (gawker.com)
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A wild card in the November 2012 election? Coming from the Internet? Maybe, because there's a well-funded "virtual third party," that plans to put a centrist presidential candidate on the ballot in all 50 states (latimes.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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After six months, Hyperbole-and-a-half finally posts something new. A look into depression, MS Paint style (hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com)
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Thu October 27, 2011
| (KENS5) |
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Apparently, Target's loss prevention program missed that "just loading up a cart and walking out of the store" scenario (kens5.com)
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GOP presidential candidates are asked their favorite movies, and the results are exactly what you'd expect: Herman Cain? The Godfather. Michelle Bachmann? Braveheart. RON PAUL? NONE, MOVIES AREN'T IN THE CONSTITUTION (washingtontimes.com)
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Indianapolis Colts team president Bill Polian defends Jim Caldwell from criticism and, in doing so, reveals to Peyton fanboys that the team actually isn't "everybody from last year except Peyton" (espn.go.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Well, this graph pretty much blows the whole "iPhones are overpriced crap" statement clear out of the water (theunderstatement.com)
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| (WBALTV) |
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Student goes to principal to express he's been having suicidal thoughts. Principal has student's belongings searched, finds gun. Police arrest student. Problem solved (wbaltv.com)
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Quran burning freak pastor Terry Jones running for president. Will probably soon be outpolling Jon Huntsman (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Radio Netherlands Worldwide) |
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Bad idea: Granting amnesty for dictatorship's human rights violations, like Uruguay's parliament did in 1986. Good idea: Un-granting previously granted amnesty, like Uruguay's parliament did Tuesday (rnw.nl)
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I hate to put cool and Thailand's flooding together, but this is a pretty amazing image from NASA's Terra Spacecraft (nasa.gov)
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It's that time of year: Leaves changing pretty colors, trick-or-treaters, pumpkin-carving with a drum magazine-fed AK, wait, what? (youtube.com)
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U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara prosecutes ex-GS director Rajat Gupta accused of feeding tips to Galleon co-founder Raj Rajaratnam. Man, this outsourcing thing really got out of hand (businessweek.com)
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Dog bites off woman's ear, presumably while "Stuck in the Middle With You" was playing in the background (philly.com)
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Wed October 26, 2011
Tue October 25, 2011
Mon October 24, 2011
Sun October 23, 2011
Sat October 22, 2011
Fri October 21, 2011
Thu October 20, 2011
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Scam artists posing as famous athletes have been fooling the public for years: a pudgy sex offender pretending to be Vince Young, a petty thief claiming he was Ben Roethlisberger, Jay Cutler posing as an NFL quarterback, etc (slate.com)
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Microsoft and Canada Pension Plan preparing to buy Yahoo, see Canadians working until 90 (canada.com)
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Turns out, the majority of the Occupiers are well-educated, middle class people with crushing student loan debt and represent all nationalities--in short, they are who they say they are (idealab.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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They fired Hank Williams for expressing his 1st Amendment rights, so why does ESPN refuse to fire Susan Sarandon for calling the Pope a Nazi? Don't give me that "because she doesn't work there" crap. That's a cop out (bighollywood.breitbart.com)
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GOP presidential candidate: the six largest financial institutions are bigger than they were before the crisis. There is no evidence that they add sufficient value to offset the systemic risk they pose (economix.blogs.nytimes.com)
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Carla Bruni-Sarkozy gives birth to first French presidential baby. Immediately makes paparazzi surrender all photos (dailymail.co.uk)
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What do Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Al Sharpton and Gary Bauer all have in common? They still have open presidential committees that owe money to creditors (politico.com)
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Wed October 19, 2011
Tue October 18, 2011
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Having no other pressing business to attend to, US Senators want to ban players from chewing tobacco at the World Series (msn.foxsports.com)
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"Is there a lot of pressure that comes with the Ramen King title?" "I wouldn't call it pressure. It is a responsibility. A responsibility to bring great ramen to the world" (cnngo.com)
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| (How YOU doin'?) |
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Presidential pickup lines: "You must be Seward authorizing the purchase of Alaska, 'cause I'm experiencing some unprecedented growth" (presidentialpickuplines.tumblr.com)
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| (Some Girl) |
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Depression ups women's risk of dementia. Great, so now I'm sad and I don't know why (winnipegfreepress.com)
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In the 2012 presidential campaign, there's only one question that really matters: Who does God want in the White House? (cnn.com)
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Despite denouncing the president's policies, Herman Cain was stimulated by Obama. Not that there's anything wrong with that (thinkprogress.org)
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Mayor Bloomberg steps up to save us from Fred Armisen's impression of Mayor Bloomberg (nypost.com)
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Iowa National Guard machine gunner develops Predator-style ammo backpack, still ain't got time to bleed (gizmodo.com)
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| (Lohud.com) |
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New York moves to change test-grading rules to prevent rampant cheating...by the teachers (lohud.com)
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Ozzie Guillen lambasts the White Sox in his own incomprehensible way (suntimes.com)
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The Bears, who have been dragging their feet about resigning Matt Forte, may want to move quickly, as at least two teams have expressed an interest in him. But that would require a Chicago sports team to be smart, which is impossible (chicagotribune.com)
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Bank of America reports $4.5 billion pre-tax profit in the 3rd quarter. Pre-tax? Since when do banks have to pay taxes? (bloomberg.com)
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Supreme Court agrees to review Stolen Valor Act, raising the hopes of decorated marine core soldiers such as myself who have for so long had to suffer the fakes and posers around us with little recourse. Sempur Fie (foxnews.com)
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President Obama's teleprompter briefly stolen. Obama speechless (politico.com)
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Mother tries to get daughter into prestigious school by: A) teacher recommendations B) video resume C) spreading sex disease lies about rival applicant (stuff.co.nz)
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Mon October 17, 2011
Sun October 16, 2011
Sat October 15, 2011
Fri October 14, 2011
Thu October 13, 2011
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The malware infecting the U.S. Predator drone was planted by the Mafia. Wait, what's that? I'm getting new information in my earpiece. Correction, it came from "Mafia Wars" (theatlanticwire.com)
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John McCain calls for the elimination of regulations that are costing America billions of jobs. Billions. Don't laugh, This man was almost President (washingtonpost.com)
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House Republicans love pregnant women and they love babies, so that is why they are trying to pass a bill that would allow hospitals to refuse abortions to pregnant women, even if the woman miscarried and will die without one (littlegreenfootballs.com)
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CNN reports Blackberry outage has also spread to Melmac, Mars, and possibly even Gallifrey (io9.com)
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Republicans running for president think the poor and middle class aren't Taxed Enough Already (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Obama had a beer with unemployed construction workers, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Obama must skirt the mouth Eyjafjallajökull with a millstone tied to his leg until freed by the dwarf king Hreiðmarr (nation.foxnews.com)
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Why Japan won't put a floor under the dollar: They prefer tatami mats (blogs.marketwatch.com)
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| (Karl Rove) |
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"The president and other Democrats need to remember it's always dangerous to associate with people who are just plain kooky" (rove.com)
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| (Some Congressional Guy) |
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Congress is completely dysfunctional. President Obama needs to bypass that pesky little Constitution to get his American Jobs Act passed (theblaze.com)
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Hilary Swank, of 'Happy Birthday Mr. Chechen President' fame, had no idea Kadyrov was a bad guy. (pic, vid) (bittenandbound.com)
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Florida governor Luthor pre-election: "I will create 700,000 jobs." Post-election: "I don't have to create any jobs, suckers" (tampabay.com)
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'Dr. Doom' economist famous for gloomy predictions is selling his failing business. Fark: Projected 80% revenue growth into next year (cnbc.com)
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Rudy Giuliani says the odds are about 9 to 11 he will not run for President in 2012 (politico.com)
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One of Michele Bachmann's advisors is a friend of the man who most aggressively promoted the bill to hunt down and kill all of Uganda's gays. Yes, that bill is still there, waiting for international pressure against it to let up (huffingtonpost.com)
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Random idiot at a Florida Waffle House complaining about how executed prisoners have it too easy happens to be sitting within earshot of a Republican state representative. Legislation ensues (huffingtonpost.com)
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Man in hospital for gunshot wound visited by his pregnant girlfriends who promptly start a knife fight (dailymail.co.uk)
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Wed October 12, 2011
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