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190 headlines found matching 'Plea'
Thu January 18, 2018
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Malware developers are now demanding ransoms in local currencies as Bitcoin's fluctuations mean [to view rest of headline, please send 10,000 beers]
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Independent)
 
 
 
But detectives had him in handcuffs within hours after discovering the note he left at the bank was written on the back of his girlfriend's pay stub
source: valley.newhavenindependent.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 17, 2018
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Missing: 1 Missouri governor, accused of blackmailing his former mistress. If found, please point and say, "HaHA"
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 15, 2018
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
I'll have OnePlus fraud, please
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
If Trump fires Mueller, the GOP is probably going to do nothing, and let him do as he pleases. The reason? The GOP base has moved closer to Trump, instead of being pushed away in disgust at his actions
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Get on cruise ship, aware it is heading into "bomb cyclone". Experience "bomb cyclone" on cruise ship. Whine online about unpleasant "bomb cyclone' experience on cruise ship. Demand refund. Whine online about how unfair the cruise line is
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 14, 2018
(The Motley Fool)
 
 
 
Paging Ric Romero to the Business tab. Ric Romero, please report to the Business tab ... and bring the Obvious tag with you
source: fool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
"This is your Captain speaking, we apologize for the rough landing, but we are safely on the ground. Please now close your window to avoid seeing the side of the cliff we are hanging off and we hope you had a pleasant flight"
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 13, 2018
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Final defendant in 'Basement of Horrors' pleads guilty. 'Parlor of Panic' and 'Utility Room of Dismay' cases still ongoing
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 12, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Will Donnie Two Scoop pull his head from his shiathole? Will Congress do something instead of ignore him? Will Mueller please just start dropping indictments? THIS is your Trump administration scandal rumor/speculation thread (~5PM news drop)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pleasingly slim Mama June touches down in LAX, sports Under Armour workout gear, platinum blonde locks, and new beau. That's TLC money well spent
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 10, 2018
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
The cost of being a dumbass in Toronto is only C$100 -- which is only C$64,900 short of the cost to rescue her from the crane
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 09, 2018
(Komo)
 
 
 
Please note: your cunning plan of having someone hide your illegal guns may be overheard by police, especially if you're talking about on the phone from your jail cell
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please stand clear of the gaping hole where the Monorail's doors should be
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
My son needs to be excused from prison today. He has to go to school and then has a hockey game. Signed, Convicted Pedophile Conner Neurauter's Mom
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
American's credit card debt hits new record, beating the 2008 pre-crash high. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, though. I'll just have another eight dollar latte. Yes, put it on my card, please
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 08, 2018
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
When JFK has a meltdown and you're about to lose your mind, somehow watching this very pleasant flight attendant just doing his job is the balm you need to keep going
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Someone who reads Fark has dispatched a spider in the correct fashion. If it's a Farker, please step forward and grab your 15 minutes
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dear Mr. Mueller: Please excuse Donald from being interviewed by you. He is totally innocent and denies any collusion with Russia or obstruction of justice. Signed, Trumpy's Mom
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
LIFE CUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE: Trump unmoved by Bannon's groveling plea for forgiveness
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Highly decorated Green Beret dies in Afghanistan. He enlisted shortly after moving to America from Riga, Latvia. He had been serving since 2005. Moment of silence please
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 07, 2018
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Got a song stuck in your head? Come share your earworm pain with the rest of the Sunday Morning Music Club. Oh, and could someone please explain how feeling like a room without a roof is supposed to make someone happy?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 05, 2018
(Fresno Bee)
 
Audio
 
Ear bleach, please
source: fresnobee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 04, 2018
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
47 jokes that are so bad they are good. Your own to the right, please
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 03, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Joke cryptocurrencies are making real profit. In other news, if you're interested in getting in on the ground floor of FarkCoin mining, please contact a mod
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 02, 2018
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"Hi. This afternoon a Red Belly slithered up into your front left tyre. Please be careful". Australian venomous snake trifecta in play
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
100 movies you need to see at least once. Grab the popcorn (deslided for your pleasure)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Farkers visiting the Great Barrier Reef, please avoid fapping, we don't need your contribution to the coral sperm bank
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 01, 2018
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Ribbit for her pleasure
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 31, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
Has anybody seen Trump's cabinet? If anybody knows where they are, please inform somebody, so we can know what they're up to
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 30, 2017
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Police find 110 bags of crack inside man's intestines. Won't somebody please think of the chitlins?
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
2018 will be the Year of the Mueller
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 29, 2017
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Police: Please don't celebrate New Year's by randomly shooting at the sky
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 26, 2017
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Click link. Mods please make link submission thingee easier to use while drivi
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Traces of Noah's Ark found in Turkey. Please pass the gravy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 25, 2017
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
8-year-old killed two adults in 2008. He's now about to anonymously walk free. They still don't know why he killed them
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 24, 2017
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Will the real reborn Jesus please step forward so we can write off the rest of these heathens from around the world?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Elizabeth Holmes: "I dress like Steve Jobs." World: "Take our money, please"
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 22, 2017
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ken Ham calls out Fox News, among others, for lying and misrepresenting facts. Subby is so confused. Please hold me
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 20, 2017
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Please state the nature of the Christmas decorating emergency"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Member of well regulated militia pleads guilty to fatally shooting boyfriend in YouTube stunt
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 19, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Subby needs a ruling here: is doing surreal stuff like watching TV while wearing a sock puppet on one hand and having conversations with it more of a "desperate cry for attention" or "pleasantly whimsical?"
source: materialsforthearts.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
The editor of Townhall rushes in to your cubicle and tells you this shiatty article "11 things every Real Conservative should ask on a first date" is not odious enough and needs a #12, please direct your help to the right
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"Hello. We are the Brussels Sprout Police. You have been accused of eating seven sprouts, 1 above the legal amount. Please do not resist and come with us down to the station"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 18, 2017
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Please note: calling the police to raid your own house may have consequences
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
A review of Eminem's new album: "Will the real Slim Shady please grow up?"
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 17, 2017
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Hello, 911? Yeah, I'm stuck in a chimney. Well, it's not my chimney. Um, can we not go into that? Also, please don't send the cops
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 15, 2017
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Attention black women. Omarosa has hereby called you to service to support her in the coming Black Woman Civil War. Please report as soon as you are able to...wherever it is you all report to
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 14, 2017
(CNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
FCC votes to (Please pay $5 to read rest of the headline)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Roger Stone's go-between with Wikileaks will testify Friday. "Testify" is an English word meaning "plead the Fifth Amendment, which is not available in Russia"
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 13, 2017
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
An even greater threat to the internet than the loss of net neutrality is apparently Minecraft
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Rod Rosenstein says he sees no reason to dismiss Robert Mueller. Rod Rosenstein to be dismissed by Trump in 3...2...1
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Yes, every great artist should sign their masterpieces, but hold on there, liver surgeon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trey Gowdy, head of House Oversight Committee: "Sorry, I can't hear your pleas to investigate the president for sexually abusing women over the sound of all these Benghazi investigations I'm leading"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Biden takes time out from working on his Trans Am to console Meghan McCain on her father's cancer diagnosis. Please excuse subby, he's got something in his eyes
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Schadenfreude too strong... growing weaker
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 12, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Anyone have some spare dildos and a 55 gallon of lube lying around? Well, I have an idea
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 11, 2017
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Please minions, think of America's 15 richest families and the burden they'll have to bear when we repeal the estate tax
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
What does the Flynndictment mean for Pence?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
It's the 45th anniversary of Roxy Music's debut album, so naturally we're getting a deluxe reissue packed with live takes, demos, and other previously unreleased gems, all for your pleasure
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 09, 2017
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Millennial" is new "N-word." Millennial, please
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dear Jesus, please let us war start to kill off all the bad people Mommy and Daddy hate. But if you can help my mouse Whiskers feel better, that would be great. God bless Momma, God Bless Daddy, God bless Whiskers, and God Bless Merica. Amen
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 08, 2017
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"I think [Papadopoulos] has been the first domino in Russia-gate" said his fiance
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Robert Mueller inserted a clause in Flynn's plea that says even if he gets a presidential pardon, local and state governments can charge him, a move that castrated Trump's pardon powers
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 07, 2017
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Fed Judge at Michael Slager's sentencing hearing on his guilty plea for violating Walter Scott's civil rights by, you know, fatally shooting him in the back, finds that Slager committed both Murder and Obstruction of Justice. Slager sentenced to 20 years
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Bud McFarlane, Reagan's National Security Advisor who sold arms to the contras and pleaded guilty -- was in the middle of the Mayflower Hotel meeting Mueller's investigating. And so was Mike Flynn, so it was like a double criminal NSA bonanza
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 06, 2017
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Cops: Don't stop, please shoot
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 05, 2017
(AP News)
 
 
 
If you can read this headline, please step forward. Not so fast, Californians
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The Huckster: THE INVESTIGATION IS ALMOST OVER, IGNORE IT
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"Pence Pleads Ignorance" to absolutely everything everyone around him said and did
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
PSA: To all police agencies please note that it has been determined that wild animals such as moose will refuse to follow traffic signals thereby causing road havoc
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 04, 2017
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Harvard law prof: Jeff Sessions 'very likely' could be prosecuted under same law as Mike Flynn
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Trump ally calls Mueller investigation 'existential threat to Trump presidency,' offers insight into wetness of water and the pain of playing Roshambo
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
A stipulation of Flynn's plea: "[participate] in covert law enforcement activities." Kinda hard to participate in "covert" law enforcement activities when the plea is publi...... Oh boy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There might be just the slightest possibility that Trump is lying about not being concerned about Flynn's guilty plea
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
No guns please, we're Canadian
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
If you believe Dowd was responsible for that Tweet, then you have to believe a man who has been practicing law for decades didn't know the past tense of "plead" was "pleaded," not "pled"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 03, 2017
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump's lawyer claims he wrote Trump's infamous self-incriminating Flynn tweet. Because that's what lawyers do; they incriminate their clients by pretending to be them. Uh huh
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 02, 2017
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Florida man, the notorious career criminal who has spent 20 of his 59 years in prison, gets arrested for the second time in as many days
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Six (more) takeaways from the Flynn deal. "The White House response, at least so far, seems to be that Mr. Flynn is a lying liar who lies"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TSN)
 
 
 
12 games on tap today for your hockey viewing pleasure. 2 'early' games (1 & 6pm ET) & the rest with the usual early evening cluster. The one late game (10pm) could be interesting as it's part of the season's Battle for Alberta. FARK CANCER, SUP, ETC
source: tsn.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVZ Bend)
 
 
 
Oregon is pleading with marijuana consumers to stop scoring off the black market
source: ktvz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 01, 2017
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
This is bad news. For Trump
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"'Hollywood would not write a plot this stupid': Trump loyalist melts down over Flynn guilty plea"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
In a lifetime of boneheaded moves, Trump is about to make his most moronic decision: To declare Jerusalem the capital of Israel. This would be a historic mistake
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Here's Seth Ambramson to break down in excruciating detail what the Flynn Affair means in the bigger Mueller picture (Warning -- long twitter thread)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Thanks to Flynn, we now know Trump is on tape telling reporters there was no collusion with Russia literally minutes after colluding with Russia
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Attention: Rex Tillerson is retroactively not "only the best people", but a deep state RINO who Our glorious leader will purge in his effort to Make America Great Again. Please update all arguments and talking points accordingly
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
All the details from today's guilty plea of one Misha Flynn
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
After news of Mike Flynn's plea deal breaks, the President's lawyer, Ty Cobb releases a statement calling him "a former Obama Administration official." Yes, Really. No, this NOT from the Onion
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
☞///|||||||||||
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 30, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Tony Hovater is upset that he was called the Nazi sympathizer next door. He wants everyone to know that he Tony Hovater is not a Nazi sympathizer next door and would the please stop call him, Tony Hovater the Nazi sympathizer next door
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Ex-partner at a major law firm in Washington pleaded guilty to charges that he tried to sell copies of sealed whistleblower lawsuits against corporations that he obtained while working at the U.S. Justice Department
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 29, 2017
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Artifacts from King Tut's tomb set for international tour. Paging Steve Martin, Steve Martin to the SNL main stage please
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Yahoo hacker pleads guilty, admits helping Russia target specific Americans. Yeehaw
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump plans to put national parks in the pool
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 28, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
Dear Leader, please work on your PR skills. Signed, Best Korea
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 27, 2017
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If anybody knows what happened to all the methylmercury that used to be concentrated in the Great Salt Lake, please contact your local scientist
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 25, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Drunks can at least take pleasure knowing there are four addictive substances in the world worse than their precious alcohol. If that's any consolation
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 22, 2017
(Berkshire Eagle)
 
 
 
Arlo Guthrie, 18, of Howard Beach N.Y., pleaded guilty to illegal disposal of refuse. This is a repeat from November 29, 1965
source: berkshireeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: while the Supreme Court has ruled that burning the flag of the United States is protected speech, you can't just run around setting other people's flags on fire
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 19, 2017
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The category is "Family Values" and the $400 clue, this former GOP state senator and Trump campaign coordinator is pleading guilty to child sex trafficking. Remember to phrase your outrage in the form of a question
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 17, 2017
(Time)
 
 
 
Judge vacates convictions for 15 black men who were imprisoned for up to 10 years after Chicago cop planted evidence. Cop was sentenced to 22 months, so it all works out fairly in the end
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 16, 2017
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tuesday: Zimbabwe youth "ready to die" for Mugabe. Wednesday: Wait, I might die too? Thursday: The handsome and successful military is here to help, please turn over your dissidents
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty to groping women and exposing himself to children at State Fair, becomes new favorite write-in candidate in Alabama
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Sen. Tim Kaine urges DNC to end its tradition of using superdelegates
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 15, 2017
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Papa John: I'm sorry you were offended by the stupid crap I said, please buy my crappy pizza
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Rep Karen Bass: Please name any "black identity extremist group" cited in a report by the FBI. Foghorn Sessions: I can't, but I'm certain they exist. Rep: Why isn't there a report on "white identity extremists?" Foghorn: What are those?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"He's either lying then, or he's lying now...I think he needs to come clean to the American people"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 14, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
And now for your viewing pleasure here's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom's sacrifice scene done with LEGO Ewoks
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Anyone have any new, cool go to websites? Mine are fark, FB, twitter, reddit.....just looking for some new ideas, facebook and twitter are cesspools anymore. Someone please post zombo.com early, so we can get that out of the way
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 13, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Whoever's going to Russia for the World Cup in 2018, please step forward. Not so fast, Italy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 11, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Umm... has anyone seen our Prime Minister? We'd really hate to, you know, set off a war across the entire Middle East over it, so if you have, like, seen him, please send him back home. Kthanksbye"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 10, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
The GOP civil war is proceeding as planned. This will greatly please the next gathering of the Antifa Supersoldiers
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Man learns unpleasant fact: cockroaches, like earwigs, can't move backwards
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Family finds dog lost in tornado, good Samaritans pay his vet bill for treatment of flying monkey trauma
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 09, 2017
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you have £1.6million-worth of drugs in your home, you might not want to have a 'grenade prone to exploding' lest the police might come investigate (with mugshot goodness)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
It's okay to hold your lighter in the air at a concert when Gun N' Roses plays your favorite song, but please don't do it on a plane that's trying to land
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Looks like Manafort's former son-in-law is going to take a plea deal and testify against Manafort. Fark needs a LOL tag
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Deutsche Bank CEO: Robots are going to take your jobs, especially those of accountants. Please, will somebody think about the accountants
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 08, 2017
(Donald J. Trump)
 
 
 
Actual Trump job satisfaction survey: "1. How would you rate President Trump's job performance so far? A) Great B) Good C) Okay D) Other. 2 (Optional) Please explain...". That's the survey and the joke
source: action.donaldjtrump.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Donald Trump called Senate Democrats Tuesday saying he would personally "get killed" financially by the GOP tax bill and would only benefit if it repealed the estate tax. So please pass it. Mmmkay?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 07, 2017
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
74-year-old who walked miles every day with a sign looking for a new kidney for his wife finds one - hopefully not by the side of the road
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Apparently Omarosa thought that a perk of being a White House staffer was you could drop by unannounced and have a killer backdrop for your wedding party photos. A displeased Secret Service quickly disabused her of that notion, however
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 06, 2017
(Vulture)
 
 
 
Marilyn Manson would like some attention please, thank you
source: vulture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: the only people who want you to buy gold coins are Glenn Beck and the guy who knows the combination to your safe
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 02, 2017
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Babysitter kidnaps boy, convinces ex-boyfriend the child was theirs, may not have thought her plan through
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NYC terror suspect seen driving with two men in rented Home Depot truck for weeks
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 01, 2017
(US House of Representatives)
 
 
 
For your afternoon viewing pleasure, 14 of the Russian ad buys on Facebook released
source: democrats-intelligence.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Welcome to the most peaceful place on the Internets, please be civil and think of the clouds
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
It's better to be a true materialist instead of a true consumerist because at least a materialist takes pleasure in what he or she already owns
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 31, 2017
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Quick Discussion: Please post photos of the most creative or funny Halloween costume you've ever seen. Appropriate. Not appropriate. You decide
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"According to a new poll from the Democratic-leaning firm Public Policy Polling, 79 percent of people who voted for President Trump say he should remain even if collusion is proven, and 75 percent said the entire Russia story is "fake news"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
We're sorry for the late thread, but for your viewing pleasure, please enjoy the executives of the many social media sites get their asses chewed out over Russian ad buys (Hearing on-going now)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McClatchy DC)
 
 
 
So, is this the right time to note that at the time the Russians reached out to the Trump campaign, there were still three Republicans vying for the nomination, but the Russians only contacted one
source: mcclatchydc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 30, 2017
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Braaaaaaaaaaa.... please visit our town... aaaaaaaaaaaains
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton - the master puppeteer
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Papadopoulos was likely wired. This should be fun. Oh, and Russians told him they had thousands of Clinton Emails. Three months before Wikileaks released them
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
That Trump aide who pleaded guilty? According to Mueller's team he not only met with a Russian professor to discuss Russia helping him get Hillary's emails, he reported the meeting to senior campaign officials-and he was Jeff Sessions' direct report
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Please responsibly recycle your bear cubs; don't toss them in the dumpster
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun October 29, 2017
(Fansided)
 
 
 
Who will be the familiar face Rick sees? Will the alliance of Kingdom, Hilltop, and Alexandria finally enact their plan to overthrow Negan? Will someone please just kill Father Gabriel already? Find out in The Damned. The Walking Dead, 9pm ET on AMC
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 28, 2017
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
With Halloween almost upon us, please remember to stock up on bandages before attempting this with your favorite feline on Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Is this the end of single-player video games? How the growing popularity of MMOs and esports could mean the end of...[to access rest of headline, please download DLC]
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 27, 2017
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Getting a sex change is all fine and good, however having it done in a motel room by an aircraft engineer who answered your online ad is another thing
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 24, 2017
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the President of the United States of America. Take him, please
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby has been asked by his friend to be part of a Halloween parade attraction where they will dress as clowns. I can be as creative as I want with this? Should I dress scary, funny, colorful, etc.? Your thoughts, please
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Task and Purpose)
 
 
 
In which President Trump learns about "Undue Command Influence" on the military judicial process
source: taskandpurpose.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun October 22, 2017
(NBC News)
 
 
 
4'X4' mosaic from one of Emperor Caligula's "pleasure ships" repatriated to Italy after authorities discover it serving as a coffee table top in NYC woman's apartment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 21, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Texans who pleaded for hurricane relief after Harvey, on Puerto Rico: "They should stay where they are and fix their own country up. Lack of responsibility is not an emergency on my part"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 19, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
Senator Thad Cochran is not retiring, thank you very much. Now, can you please direct me to the Senate Chamber? I know it's around here somewhere
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 18, 2017
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Can you be too fat for prison? An attorney is trying to keep his 273 lb. client out of it with this argument
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 17, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Please don't put 'Niger Attack' as a title in your briefing to Trump, guys
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: We host classy adult parties with alcohol. People keep bringing their kids; I put 'Please, no kids' on invites. My home is not childproof; no one watches their kids; it's awful. We get drunk; kids don't need to see that. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 14, 2017
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Do you live in, Kentucky, Maine, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, or Washington? Travel papers please, citizen
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 13, 2017
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
In case you think Trump's threats against the press are all bluster, please notice that the FCC Chairman he appointed has yet to comment on or disavow Trump's comments
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 12, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
You're right, Mr. President, the media is very bad. So bad our ratings have jumped as have our revenues. Please criticize us more you farking moron
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 11, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
Carter Page, a man with nothing to hide, says he'll pull a Chappelle and plead the fif
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and welcome Ophelia to the 2017 Hurricane Club. Take a bow, Ophelia, and wave to the crowd
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 10, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump: I have decided to ban transgender people from the military after consulting with my generals. Dems: yeah, we'd like you prove that last bit please
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
PSA: When making donations to the food bank please make sure it's within the expiration date and not 46 years old
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Two doses of human interferon beta, sunny side up, please
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you've ever stolen anything from the historic Washington Marriott Wardman Park, the hotel wants you to know that it would like its stuff back, please. And you could earn a free stay by returning it. Just don't, you know, steal anything else
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 09, 2017
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: if you're planning a historical reenactment of a battle including tanks and machine guns, you may want to mention this to people in advance
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man who wrote "If You Take The Kids, I'll Kill You?: The Public Confession of Missouri's Most Notorious Wife Killers." takes a plea deal for (spoiler alert)
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 07, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you've misplaced a number of potted pot plants, the Gainesville Police Department would like you to please come pick them up. (with helpful photo of the plants)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
A themed cruise sounds like fun, but what if YOU are the theme? Will Twilight manage to please both her family and fans? Will there be an open bar? Find out on My Little Pony - Once Upon a Zeppelin this Saturday on Discovery Family at 11:30am ET
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Catster)
 
 
 
Nurse Raisin, please report to the OR, Nurse Raisin to the OR on Caturday
source: catster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 06, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Iowa: We'd like to fix our healthcare markets please. HHS: Okay. Trump: Actually, no. You can't. Because fark you
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 05, 2017
(Kitsap Sun)
 
 
 
Please note: the police may listen in on your phone calls, especially if you're calling from jail
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
No, Mr. NHL Player, cocaine is not on the Delta Airlines in-flight menu. Also, please refrain from urinating on the beverage cart
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Steve Bannon backs another genius for Congress. This one has recently served time
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Former Glee star Mark Salling pleads guilty to child porn. Hopefully the judge sentences him to prison and rules there will never be a Glee reunion
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 04, 2017
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson continues his 'please fire me' tour by saying Libya could be the world's next hot tourism destination once it's "cleared the dead bodies away"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Chinese man admits to sneaking snakes in socks. Although why a snake would wear socks I dunno
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hello Amazon, welcome to Amazon, Georgia. Please build your new Amazon HQ here, we already renamed our town and next we will rename all first born children Amazon if you come here. Oh my Amazon, please come
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 03, 2017
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
High school students chant 'Build the wall' at football game. No word from Twitter if any of the players took a knee
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 02, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
The NRA decides that maybe, you know, in light of that recent unpleasantness in Las Vegas, they should wait a week before airing a slate of ads that were set to air starting today attacking the Democratic candidate in the VA governor's race
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
My brother was diagnosed with pancolitis at the beginning of August. He lost 67lbs of muscle mass before Sept 1st. He's refused any type of surgery and wants to explore the naturopathic capabilities... HELP Please
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun October 01, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Democrats, please get ready for exactly what happened in the last midterm elections
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Attention please, attention. There's been a slight change in the Tiger lineup. Catching, Andrew Romine. RF Andrew Romine. LF Andrew Romine, P Andrew Romine, 3B Andrew Romine, CF Andrew Romine, 1B Andrew Romine, SS Andrew Romine, 2B Andrew Romine
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Yeah, hello, 911? I'd like to threaten a judge, please"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 29, 2017
(The Local)
 
 
 
Norway responds to NATO's pleas for help in Afghanistan. Fark: by sending ten soldiers
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Please note: if you drink too much at Oktoberfest, the police will confiscate your baby
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 28, 2017
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
You won't get jail time for DUI and driving 103 mph on the interstate if you're the mayor's wife
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
'Hey, hey, hey, it's me, Equifax. Honestly, honey, it's you I've always loved. Won't you give me another chance? Please? I swear I won't cheat on you again.' - New Equifax CEO
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 27, 2017
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Lin-Manuel Miranda writes a touching, emotional plea for helping out Puerto Rico during its time of crisis
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 25, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Okay we shouldn't have trusted an employee who claims to be the unfiltered voice of violent neo-Nazism when he said his group would be non-controversial, now please don't boycott our restaurant
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 22, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, at the United Nations: "The chair recognizes the ambassador from Saudi Arabia." Ambassador: "Mmmmh, pleased to be here, I am"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Mike Pence dodges a question on Trumpcare by making up a fake quote by Thomas Jefferson. Can we get a smokebomb tag yet, please?
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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