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94 headlines found matching 'Newser'
Mon August 22, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Newser)
 
 
 
Common causes of stomach aches: Ingesting a fifth of Wild Turkey, pan of brownies, or, say, 40 knives
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Sun August 21, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Burglars break into iconic Brady home; police say current resident scared them off. Probably with a machete, if he hadn't had a Snickers lately
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Fri August 19, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
I'm going out on a limb here and saying no, he didn't take his medication
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Subby hates list posts. What's that? You have one about the best US vacation destinations for hooking up with a stranger? CLICK
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(Newser)
 
 
 
For sale: one wedding dress. Great condition, may need dry cleaning to get rid of the stench of betrayal
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Tue August 16, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
We expect she'll have to defend her dissertation to Tommy Lee Jones
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Sun August 14, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Players complain that the new table tennis balls used during the Rio Olympics have been less than a smash
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Fri August 12, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
JK Rowling is so wealthy even her typos print money
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Thu August 11, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Oh, well in that case, climbing Trump Tower makes perfect sense
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Wed August 10, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hey guys, she's single
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Sun August 07, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Here's why more and more women are robbing banks
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Sat August 06, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Trendy vegan mayo company loves its vegan mayo so much it's mostly selling it to itself
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Thu August 04, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
WAS IT OVER WHEN BUDDY BISON BULLDOZED BARRACKS IN PEARL HARBOR? Yeah, it pretty much was
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Wed August 03, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Has anyone else caught the "Red Faced, Sweaty, Dirty Toddler Allegedly Abandoned by His Parents" Pokemon Go character yet?
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Everyone laughed at the idea of Donald Trump picking Ivanka as his running mate-except, apparently, Nicaragua's president
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Mon August 01, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Man has no idea why former coworker blew up his home"
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(Newser)
 
 
 
When your alarm clock's a rooster: not terribly weird. When your alarm clock is 11 roosters that live with you in a cave: OK, weird. When you're almost 80 and have been living this way for 40 years: Fark-level weird
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Old and busted: "Hold my beer and watch this." New hotness: "Hold my beer and watch me win a gold medal"
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(Newser)
 
 
 
World's most expensive cheese comes from donkeys, probably tastes like ass
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Sun July 31, 2016
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The evil genius that bought ClintonKaine.com way back in 2011 is done squatting and wants $90K for it
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Wed July 27, 2016
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
We're going to be talking about Hillary's crack for many years to come
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Tue July 26, 2016
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Now Starbucks baristas can wear colored clothing under their aprons. But they still don't have to learn how to spell your name
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Wed July 20, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
New sunscreen gadget shows where you missed a spot. Don't we already have that? It's called the bright red blistered area from third degree sunburn
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Sun July 17, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Banker gets hired to turn bank around, accuses the previous manager of fraud, withdraws suit, hires a Santeria priest to sacrifice an alligator in the conference room, get shot in his car, and--wait, back up one
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Fri July 15, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
We're not going to tell you what state Benny lives in. Benny's been leaving $100 bills in tampon and diaper boxes. OK, it's Oregon
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Thu July 14, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
White political dude pays $11,000 a month for his hair. No, not Donald Trump
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Want to improve your memory? Try cinnamon. Buns optional
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Mon July 11, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
If you want to meet some determined moms, check out what's going on in China
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Scientists make $500 million bet. Boo: Winner revealed in 2150
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Sun July 10, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Man says Bigfoot ruined his life; skeptics argue there's no proof man's life even exists
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Sat July 09, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
New study says you shouldn't drink coffee after a concert. Guess I'll just have to stick with booze then
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Rochester, Minnesota is named the healthiest U.S. city. Apparently anyone who can survive a winter in Rochester, Minnesota can make it through just about anything
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Thu July 07, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
We're getting an extra second on New Year's Eve. Times Square midnight countdown to start at 23:59:51
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Tue July 05, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
FTC now looking up Ashley Madison's skirt
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Sun July 03, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Sound smart with your friends: #452 - John Adams wanted Independence Day on July 2
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Headline: Ancient humans may have made giant telescopes 6,000 years ago. Story: Ancient humans did not make giant telescopes 6,000 years ago
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Sat July 02, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
That's what Professor McConaughey likes about his college students, man. He keeps getting older, they stay the same age
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Scientists warn "drunkorexia" trend is ruining otherwise healthy and normal college binge drinking
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Thu June 30, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
DC picks new name in its bid to become 51st state and totally ruins the "50 Nifty United States" song
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Wed June 29, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Tell me why-yee: Backstreet Boys are back
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Guy drinks himself silly for eight hours, plows into concrete wall, sues bar because what a bunch of irresponsible jerks
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Tue June 28, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Mr. Zuckerberg, tear down that wall
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Mon June 27, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hungry kid wants doughnuts, Internet gives him $270K and ZERO DOUGHNUTS. Thanks for nothing, Internet
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Whole Foods is opening a seventh level of hell, er, grocery store for millennials
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Sat June 25, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Court in murder trial rules that talking parrot will be allowed to sing like a canary
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Fri June 24, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
It's perfectly normal for a 31-year-old to die of natural causes next to $12M in pot, nothing to see here, move along
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Thu June 23, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Strange: Your dad putting a bizarre classified ad in the paper looking for a wife. Stranger: For you. Strangest: You deciding, "OK, what the hell"
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Tue June 21, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Like the idea of cremation but hate the unpleasant eco after-effects? Now, there's Cremo-helper, leaves just some "leftover coffee-colored effluents" behind
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Mon June 20, 2016
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Google Map app WAZE to eliminate left turns. NASCAR inconsolable
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Sat June 18, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Gateway to the underworld or world's biggest megaslump? Here come the geologists
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Fri June 17, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Dear TSA, you owe me $506.85 for your incompetence
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Tue June 14, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Charlie Sheen is now sponsoring condoms
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(Newser)
 
 
 
America, you might have just lost 49 innocent people in your deadliest shooting ever, but act now and you could win an AR-15
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Indiana man's fiancee kills herself and her mother after her past crimes of murder were about to be discovered. Indiana man really knew how to pick 'em
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Mon June 13, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
The Titanic's sinking was horrific. The Nazi Titanic's was even worse
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(Newser)
 
 
 
The kiss of death
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Thu June 09, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
'Most dangerous man in football' is now an unpaid intern
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Wed June 08, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Were ambulances always this easy to steal and we just never realized it?
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Fish that eat plastic will be slower and more stupid. Which makes them a more even match for those trying to catch them after drinking a case of beer
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Mon June 06, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Fish-sitter responds to 1-star review with apology and a ... no, a $1M lawsuit
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich says Trump's judge comments are inexcusable. He still supports Trump. Apparently inexcusable means something different to Newt Gingrich
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Sat June 04, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Royal Caribbean has naked sex cruise available for couples only. No sex with the crew or in the dining room
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(Newser)
 
 
 
A sunken "lost city" off the Greek island of Zakynthos has, upon further review, been downgraded to "a random series of microbe farts"
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Fri June 03, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Million-dollar idea here: Uber, but for cops in the middle of a foot chase with a suspect
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Thu June 02, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Kid calls 911 after dad runs red light. Learning to drive ought to be a hoot
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Wed June 01, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Couple trapped on cliffside saved after sending selfie to rescue crew (presumably the dick pics were meant as a thank-you)
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Original Alamo may have been discovered. No word if any artifacts were found in the basement
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Regular Florida alligators apparently desperate to seem cool in front of new man-eating crocodiles
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Tue May 31, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hacked road sign displays anti-Trump message. Big deal, a lot of road signs do that: "Stop," "Dip Ahead," "Slow Children"
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Politician records himself burning traffic tickets he disagrees with because, duh, he's a lawmaker not a law-follower
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Scientists study rare disease that makes you believe you're dead, decide to name it "Nebraska"
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Sun May 29, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Tropical storm Bonnie forms in the Carolinas. Tropical storm Clyde due to arrive soon
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Thu May 26, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Canadians are so relentlessly polite that an entire city's police force was just brought to its knees by a knife-wielding crow
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Wed May 25, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Yes, officer, but if I move my hands real fast, the tattoo just says Cups Sock
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Tue May 24, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Reddit users take time off from harassing women online to try to solve crazy mystery
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Mon May 23, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
There are the castles you build in the sand, and then there are the voluptuous naked ladies with shovels sticking out of their backs that you build in the sand
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Sun May 22, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Ontario High Shcool issues unfortunate diplomas. Don't worry, callidge will be better
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Thu May 19, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
And on the day a 5-year-old girl brought a bubble gun to school, our innocence was truly and irrevocably lost
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Sure, you accidentally live stream the birth of a child and you're an Internet sensation. But you accidentally live stream the creation of a child and suddenly Facebook is calling the cops
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Wed May 18, 2016
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Scientifically created champagne is the biggest innovation in the alcohol world since boxed wine
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Mon May 16, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
The least true statement ever written: "There needs to be more weed in Florida"
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Sat May 14, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Craigslist ad selling housebroken bison named Bullet raises so many important questions
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Fri May 13, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Famous JFK assassination conspiracy theorist dies at 89. Will be buried on a grassy knoll
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Wed May 11, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Master chef fires general manager daughter after customers insulted on their bill. The extremely rare My Dad Owns This Restaurant But I Got Fired Anyway trifecta is now in play
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Cliven Bundy doubles down on his "Fark it, I'm suing everybody" approach: "Obama wants to sell my ranch to the Communist Chinese"
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Mon May 09, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
11-year-old receives unauthorized "haircut" at carnival
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Thu May 05, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Justin Bieber getting embarrassingly owned by a beer bong is now a matter of public record
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Wed May 04, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is one step from the presidency and we're getting high on anti-diarrhea drugs. Not saying these are related, but they might be
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Tue May 03, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Roller coaster at Disney California Adventure closed due to unchecked narcissism
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Fri April 29, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Player's skin-baring NFL Draft outfit combines everything football is about: strength, boldness, and annoying Roger Goodell
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(Newser)
 
 
 
If Congress passes HB 2031, "Swatting" will cost you 20 years in prison. Because misusing law enforcement agencies to cause accidental deaths is something Congress wants no one but Congress to do
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(Newser)
 
 
 
That dead air you heard on NPR? Don't worry, it was just "Take your kids to work day"
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Wed April 27, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Yes, there's a difference between a prescription pain killer and a counterfeit one. About a hundred times difference
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Tue April 26, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hershey's unveils line of meat bars. If we play our cards right, meat Kisses and meat syrup can't be far off
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