Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Demi Moore and that ugly chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding save one of their Twitter followers from committing suicide. Dammit, the last thing those two need is a fanbase  (contactmusic.com)	(26)

This is a custom homemade Bill Paxton pinball machine, and yes, it is as awesome as it sounds  (youtube.com)

(47)

		Michael Jordan to become first-ever NBA owner to conduct all business from golf course  (670thescore.stats.com)	(15)
		Time for some NBA math: the highest-scoring team + the worst defense in the league = 152 points  (google.com)	(35)

Orlando spends $19 million of taxpayer money on new Amway Arena, including $10,000 on a conference table and $87,600 on a Zamboni even though they don't have a hockey team  (orlandosentinel.com)

(44)

As if being a disgraced Olympian and a felon weren't enough, Marion Jones is now going to play in the WNBA  (statesman.com)

(35)

Former NBA star Allen Iverson "will either drink himself into oblivion or gamble his life away"  (sports.espn.go.com)

(54)

(Some Emo Band)		Drummer for My Chemical Romance leaves band, will be replaced by a drummer indistinguishable from himself. Their emo fanbase expected to wear a darker shade of eyeliner in mourning  (nme.com)	(22)
		WNBA team is holding tryouts for an all-male practice squad. "I encourage any man who thinks he is on the same level or even thinks he can outplay the women from the Mercury to put his skills to the test"  (azcentral.com)	(103)
		Deaf, dumb and blind armless people now have a shot at pinball wizardry  (npr.org)	(31)

(sportsmediawatch)

The US/Canada game outdrew the World Series, NBA finals, and NCAA basketball finals. But yeah, Americans don't care about hockey  (sportsmediawatch.blogspot.com)

(325)

		Bon Jovi will visit homeless shelters on their upcoming tour. Never before has a band gone to such great lengths to reach its fanbase    (contactmusic.com)	(18)
(Some Baltar)		In a change of pace, James Callis joins the cast of "Flashforward", a show that hasn't made sense from the start nor gained any sort of loyal fanbase  (digitalspy.com)	(47)
		Cleveland Cavaliers shoot for new record for most snuggies, gay rape  (aolnews.com)	(16)

(Dueling Couches)

Drew Brees is lobbying (through his twitter account) for the Saints to sign RB Ladainian Tomlinson  (duelingcouches.blogspot.com)

(51)

NJ Nets trade themselves to Newark  (nj.com)

(11)

The Nets get one for the thumb  (news.yahoo.com)

(10)

Not willing to be outdone by the NBA, MLB planning to host its 2015 All-Star game in front of nearly 1,500 fans  (fannation.com)

(44)

Daredevil squirrel who liked to ride a Sonic Spinball rollercoaster has been banned...because he is upsetting the red tape brigade  (lep.co.uk)

(70)

(Some Sucker)

Nets seek to hire Krzyzewski as next head coach on grounds that, after decades of experience in suckage at Duke, the massive vortex that is the Nets will be a cakewalk by comparison  (fayobserver.com)

(33)

Showing that he is as talented at running a college team as a NBA team, Isiah Thomas' Florida International team has a 7-19 record and an average attendance at home games of 120  (sportingnews.com)

(15)

Cleveland Cavaliers encouraging fans to drink beer  (blog.cleveland.com)

(27)

David Stern not only wants to cut NBA salaries by 2/3; he also wants to usurp the Constitution's ex post facto language  (sports.espn.go.com)

(69)

(Luxist)		For those who say Sinbad has never done anything funny: His bankruptcy lists 60 million in liabilities and 50 thousand in assets. Now THAT'S funny  (luxist.com)	(61)
		"There won't be an NFL lockout. If there is, Roger Goodell should be institutionalized, examined by a team of psychiatrists, removed from office and replaced by Pacman Jones"  (msn.foxsports.com)	(43)

Mark Cuban introducing the 21st century interactive NBA fan experience  (sports.espn.go.com)

(12)

The 15 most tortured fanbases according to the Sports Guy. Congratulations Cubs fans, you finally finished first at something  (sports.espn.go.com)

(154)

Douchebag of the Day goes to former NBA player Paul Shirley, for his advice to earthquake-ravaged Haitians: 'Maybe use a condom once in a while'  (huffingtonpost.com)

(574)

Ten NBA players to donate $1,000 each per point scored on Friday night to Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. Antawn Jamison, averaging 22.2 points a game this season, puts up 8 against Miami  (sports.yahoo.com)

(34)

While T-Mac fell off the NBA All-Star roster, Allen Iverson was added to it in the strongest yet affirmation of the Law of Conservation of Stupid  (cbssports.com)

(22)

Shaq becomes fifth NBA player to reach 28,000 career points, infinite wisdom. "I've missed like 5,000 free throws. If I had at least hit half of those, I'd be at 30,000 right now" "  (sports.yahoo.com)

(70)

Warriors guard Monta Ellis delivers his entry into the NBA's Trick Shot Olympics  (youtube.com)

(31)

"Whalen, Montgomery trade places in WNBA blockbuster," which is apparently a big deal in the world of fake sports  (usatoday.com)

(27)

During Vancouver/Nashville game, NHL ref decides to take a page out of the NBA handbook  (sports.espn.go.com)

(87)

What does an ex-NBA star get for his driver? 18 months  (nydailynews.com)

(84)

		NBA stud Charles Barkley stretched way out of his comfort zone during his SNL impersonation of R&B diva Alicia Keys. (vid)  (bittenandbound.com)	(45)
		NBA's 10 millionth point scored, which in soccer terms is like five goals  (sports.espn.go.com)	(24)

(Edmonton Sun)

Thief rips off elderly blind and deaf man, several pinball machines missing  (edmontonsun.com)

(44)

Police call a DUI foul on former NBA player Jayson Williams after his SUV leaves the travel lane and scores a slam dunk with a tree  (nypost.com)

(36)

Gilbert Arenas admits that pulling a gun on a teammate in the locker room was "bad judgment". Whew... glad we got that cleared up. Move along, nothing to see here  (cbsnews.com)

(34)

In the prehistoric era, young cave dwellers played on pinball machines; this man has 867 of them and wants to start a museum; dadgummit, I say it's a worthy cause, and get off my lawn  (washingtonpost.com)

(93)

NBA'er Tracy McGrady has played 46 minutes all season. And is for now an all-star starter  (azcentral.com)

(44)

The Phoenix Suns prove they are a force to be reckoned with, sweep the season series with the Boston Celtics  (azcentral.com)

(46)

The top 10 NBA plays of this decade  (barenucks.com)

(75)

Investigation underway whether Washington Wizards Gilbert Arenas stored firearms in his locker against league rules. That's NBA rules, not NRA  (sports.espn.go.com)

(13)

		Ex-Duke players on Indiana Pacers try to haze ex-UNC player Tyler Hansbrough with predictable results. Duke sucks  (aboverim.blogspot.com)	(60)
		Joel Przybilla picks up where Greg Oden left off  (blog.oregonlive.com)	(16)

		Hide the baby mamas: TMZSports.com to launch in "the next couple months"  (sportsbybrooks.com)	(53)
		Sinbad owes over $8 million in back taxes. There's a joke in here somewhere, unlike in Sinbad's repertoire  (starpulse.com)	(52)
		So a third quarter 35 point lead over the Sacramento Kings should be a lock to win, right? Not if you're the Chicago Bulls  (sacbee.com)	(56)

NBA fines player $7,500 for tweeting about how excited he was for winning a game. $7,500? If the NBA is this hard up for money, why not ask for a loan from their gambling refs?  (sports.espn.go.com)

(37)

		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter enjoyed Fark's Danica Patrick fragrance headline  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(1)
		Proof that even NBA fans don't watch NBA games: Tracy McGrady has yet to play a game this season but is on pace to start the All-Star game  (sports.yahoo.com)	(76)

		NBA commissioner says he expects to soon see women playing on professional teams other than the Nets  (upi.com)	(100)
		WWE wrestler Sheamus fulfills dream of many NBA fans; throws Mark Cuban through a table  (barenucks.com)	(55)

Not News: NBA player ties his shoes. News: During play, while holding the ball. Fark: Defense does nothing (w/ video goodness)  (nba.fanhouse.com)

(68)

If nothing else, the WNBA has encouraged young girls to identify with successful role models. Pumped-full-of-steroids Marion Jones announces plans to ruin all that  (google.com)

(15)

Knicks legend Patrick Ewing says he would love to coach the Nets on how to miss free throws  (nypost.com)

(26)

NJ Nets rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic  (nytimes.com)

(24)

In a completely unforeseen development, AI's "retirement" was about as permanent as Brett Favre's first, second, and fifth "retirements". What we talkin' 'bout? Retirement? How silly is that?  (msn.foxsports.com)

(20)

		NASCAR's national TV ratings haven't crashed, but they're scraping the outside wall on every turn  (usatoday.com)	(75)
		Classy  (msnbc.msn.com)	(66)

Ron Artest, who once applied for a job at Circuit City to get the employee discount after signing $5M NBA contract, being investigated for welfare fraud  (sportsbybrooks.com)

(34)

(7 News Boston)		13 NBA referees linked to Tim Donaghy gambling scandal  (www1.whdh.com)	(92)
		Good: New Jersey Nets close in on NBA record. Bad: It's the record for most consecutive losses to start a season  (sports.yahoo.com)	(20)

Retired UK and NBA center Sam Bowie hopes to break color barrier at Lexington country club, applies for membership  (bostonherald.com)

(28)