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Headlines matching 'Illinois'
Sun February 05, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Chicago Sun-Times) Weird Governor Pat Quinn successfully swallows a spoonful of cinnamon. Coincidentally, the State of Illinois is still gagging on his tax package  (suntimes.com) (37)


Wed February 01, 2012
(STLToday) Stupid Having solved all other problems, Illinois wants to ban texting while biking  (stltoday.com) (96)
(Yahoo) Amusing Michigan St. misses extra point, loses to Illinois 42-41 in shootout  (rivals.yahoo.com) (32)


Tue January 31, 2012
(Quad City Times) PSA Illinois needs more female prison guards. Giggity  (qctimes.com) (26)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Gwinnett Daily Post) Dumbass Illinois man sends murder threats and mailbombs to Georgia schools in hopes of getting personal enemies investigated. How'd that plan work out for you, big guy?  (gwinnettdailypost.com) (15)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Pantagraph.com) Followup Two pieces of IL senator's brain removed... The one small piece left still considered smarter than 95% of remaining Illinois senate members combined  (pantagraph.com) (21)


Thu January 26, 2012
(CNBC) Amusing Illinois sues S&P over downgrade of state, pizza  (cnbc.com) (14)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Illinois lawmakers are being urged to help lower the risks of online dating, presumably by banning use of MySpace photo angles  (chicagotribune.com) (27)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) News In a stroke of genius, Illinois Senator Mark Kirk seeks to push Gabrielle Giffords off of the front page  (chicagotribune.com) (112)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Yahoo) Strange Dear Abby, my daughter's a whore. No, really  (news.yahoo.com) (95)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Fark) Followup Chicago FarkParty. Tomorrow. 7PM. Come drink away the cold. (Link goes to original thread.)  (fark.com) (25)


Sun January 08, 2012
(USA Today) Strange Southern rednecks rejoice as new law allows them to skin and eat roadkill. Wait... the law is from Illinois? Whoops, sorry about the stereotyping there, Jethro  (usatoday.com) (114)
(UPI) Fail Moody's downgrades Illinois from Bears to Cubs  (upi.com) (33)


Fri January 06, 2012
(CourierPress) Photoshop PETA wants to put memorials on the roads where cows have died. Photoshop what such a memorial might look like  (courierpress.com) (30)


Wed January 04, 2012
(QC Online) Stupid If you live in Illinois and want to buy drain cleaner, you will now have to show your ID, because "drain cleaners contain acid and acid was used to attack someone three years ago"  (qconline.com) (219)


Sun January 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Strange Happy Ending: Illinois Motorcycles, Bicycles can run red lights under new law  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (143)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Yahoo) Amusing Hey South, thanks for coming to the funeral, it would have meant a lot to dad knowing you're here. Say listen I know this is a little awkward but you don't have a couple of bucks I could borrow? Just maybe gas money to the cemetery?  (news.yahoo.com) (25)


Mon December 26, 2011
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Remember, DRIVE MOR KARS  (chicagotribune.com) (101)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Lady Gaga voted entertainer of the year, promptly tucks the award between her legs and walks away  (news.yahoo.com) (49)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Rockford Register Star) Unlikely Small-town Illinois airport excited over possibility of picking up flights to Honolulu by airline whose four 50-seat jets currently make 30-minute inter-island hops. Geography is clearly no one's forte  (rrstar.com) (32)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Yahoo) Unlikely Drew Peterson demanding apology from Illinois State Police, insisting that he didn't kill his fourth wife, she's just 'disappeared without a trace'. Oh sure  (news.yahoo.com) (51)


Sun December 11, 2011
(Daily Herald) Dumbass Convicted on federal corruption charges in federal court. Check. Cost taxpayers $250K+ to incarcerate in a minimum security country club. Check. Still eligible to receive a federal pension. Why of course. And you'll still reelect Congress  (dailyherald.com) (69)


Tue December 06, 2011
(Daily Mail) Cool Danica Patrick sunbathing in Maui gets male pulses revved up, engines started  (dailymail.co.uk) (92)


Fri December 02, 2011
(YouTube) Asinine Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape  (youtube.com) (138)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Quad City Times) Silly Sears offered $400 million to move their headquarters from Illinois to Ohio. Because when you think of failing retail industries, you think of Ohio  (qctimes.com) (45)


Mon November 28, 2011
(ESPN) Cool Hey Ohio State, looking to hire a washed-up former UF coach for your team? Well congratulations, you just hit the jackpot  (espn.go.com) (33)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Washington Post) Followup Before you go all "ZOMG HAX THE RUSSIANZ R COMING," check to make sure you don't have a plant employee logging in remotely while on a trip abroad  (washingtonpost.com) (31)


Wed November 23, 2011
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine 2 Illinois GOP state legislators go full retard  (chicagotribune.com) (205)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Fark ready headline: Illinois teenager blames DUI crash on not seeing Twilight film  (huffingtonpost.com) (40)


Fri November 18, 2011
(WLSAM) Fail The big "Spanksgiving" sexpo is the kickoff of the big "Swallowday" season in Illinois  (wlsam.com) (17)
(Washington Post) Scary Malicious cyber attack by foreign hackers (looking at you Russia) that targeted a water plant in Illinois appears to be the first of its kind on a critical computer system in the United States  (washingtonpost.com) (92)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Chicago Business) Obvious Is your fainting couch nearby? Are you prepared to clutch your pearls? It seems that the house speaker in Illinois may have been up to shady self-dealing that cost state taxpayers half a billion dollars  (chicagobusiness.com) (37)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Yahoo) Spiffy Super-committee Dems to GOP: We'll see your $1 trillion in debt reduction and raise you another trillion-but, you'll have to raise taxes a little. Your move  (news.yahoo.com) (212)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Yahoo) Asinine You don't have to be crazy to live in Illinois. But it helps  (beta.finance.yahoo.com) (10)
(CNSNews) Obvious The latest Gallup poll finds Democrats to be godless heathens  (cnsnews.com) (436)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Deadspin) Video Northern Illinois linebacker suspended for sacking opposing team's band member  (deadspin.com) (42)


Sun October 30, 2011
(Yahoo) Cool JoePa tells Illinois to get off his snowy lawn  (news.yahoo.com) (20)


Wed October 26, 2011
(Yahoo) Sad In 2006, multimillionaire Barack Obama failed to pay $8,558.46 in state income taxes, forcing the state of Illinois to file a tax lien that he fought until 2008. This would be an outrage, if it were actually Obama, and not Herman Cain  (news.yahoo.com) (125)
(Some Guy) Cool Collisions with deer on the decline in Illinois. Numbers of hungry rednecks on the rise  (centralillinoisnewscenter.com) (53)


Mon October 24, 2011
(Some Guy) Spiffy PhD student at University of Illinois makes major leap in weapons research. For Iran  (kevinkarsch.com) (14)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Obvious The $EC dominate$ the li$t with 10 of the top 25 team$  (ibj.com) (55)


Sun October 16, 2011
(WLSAM) Fail Illinois is the worst state in the country when it comes to paying bills. I guess you could say that it's leaving everyone ill, annoyed  (wlsam.com) (25)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Florida If an Amtrak train departs from the west coast and arrives in Illinois with a Florida man carrying 45 pounds of pot, does it still warrant the Florida tag?  (napervillesun.suntimes.com) (38)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Yahoo) Spiffy Underdogs Texas, Ohio State, and Texas A&M take on heavy favorites Oklahoma State, Illinois, and Baylor. Wait, what? It's your week 7 college football discussion thread  (rivals.yahoo.com) (891)

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