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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		"Comedian" celebrates Black History Month by putting on blackface make-up and embarrassing BYU students  (dailymail.co.uk)	(162)
		Iranian government turns off the interwebs  (dailymail.co.uk)	(166)
		Will Mitt Romney's faux New England patrician credentials be enough to hold off the Paulistians in the deep woods of Maine? Is anyone still paying attention to this circus? It's your Maine Caucus thread  (guardian.co.uk)	(212)
(Good.is)		Having spent millions on #Occupy hassles, NYC plans construction of giant urban campground  (good.is)	(33)

(Some Guy)		Brian Baldinger is either stoned out of his mind, or he took one too many hits to the head  (nfl.com)	(5)
		According to the scienticians at Philly's leading newspaper, younger women who like guys with money and older men who like younger women can now meet on the internet  (philly.com)	(24)
		Romanian man accused of hacking into NASA computers would be serious news if Romania had any sort of space program  (reuters.com)	(9)
		The world lost a great comedian 12 years ago today, know what I mean Vern? Bonus: graduated from same high school Drew did  (en.wikipedia.org)	(103)

		Rick Santorum isn't the only politician with a surging Google problem  (latimes.com)	(121)
		Ever wonder what dinosaur comedians heard when nobody understood their jokes?  (boingboing.net)	(11)
		If you fumbled getting your camera back from a fellow Giants fan taking your picture at the Superbowl you might want to click this link  (nydailynews.com)	(25)
		Giants fans were holding more then their breath until after Tom Brady threw that Hail Mary toss according to the Department of Environmental Protection  (nypost.com)	(33)
		U.S. economic embargo of Cuba turns 50. Canadians light up a Cohiba in our honor  (usatoday.com)	(133)
		Like a typical politician, Obama wants to be reelected, raise money AND make clear policy distinctions with his opposition. How droll, how uncouth, how offensive to sensibilities of our cherished political punditry. Have you no shame sir?  (politico.com)	(45)
		"The gravest under-publicized human rights atrocity in the world is the persecution of Christians"  (nationalreview.com)	(291)
		The "mystery" behind the deaths of the Iranian nuclear scientists has been solved. Guess who? Go ahead. Guess  (rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com)	(345)
(the score)		Did the Giants cheat within the rules by running 12 men on the field to run time off the clock?  (blogs.thescore.com)	(156)
		Insiders are selling their stock at almost Gaussian proportions. This is clearly a sign that the end times are near and you should convert your 401(k) to canned goods and ammo  (marketwatch.com)	(14)

		You know, the possibility of attack aside, I have trouble believing the Iranians are sitting there thinking to themselves, "You know, if we could just take out Cleveland"  (thehill.com)	(111)
		Fabio Capello resigns as England soccer coach. Who would have thought an Italian would leave a sinking ship?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(42)
		Indonesian train officials have an innovative new way of keeping 'rail surfers' off the roofs of their trains: swat them with brooms drenched in putrid smelly goop  (telegraph.co.uk)	(175)
		Cute girlfriend of New York Giants linebacker Greg Jones gets her own Super Bowl ring during post game celebration (w/video)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(33)
(The Hindu)		TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped  (thehindu.com)	(60)

		Will Mittens lick Santorum in Colorado? Will conservatives in Missoura change the race? Will Giant Elderly Baby do any better than third? Who is RON PAUL? It's your Minnesota/Missouri/Colorado Republican election thread  (google.com)	(814)
		Consumer officials warn about online dating scams. Wait, you mean she isn't a Canadian supermodel who loves World of Warcraft?  (wrcbtv.com)	(112)
		Kim Kardashian refuses Tucker Max's money, shows surprising self-respect  (forbes.com)	(147)
		Flipping the middle finger dates back to the ancient Greeks and Romans and is part of US Italian heritage  (bbc.co.uk)	(48)
		Why hasn't the Russian Antarctica expedition responded for a week now? Nazis  (dailymail.co.uk)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Evangelical Christian Group: If a man busted for a half-gram of cocaine in 1988 still can't get a job in 2010 without involving lawyers, there's a problem with the justice system  (breakpoint.org)	(114)
		Gingrich's spokesman edits wikipedia page to remove all mention of Newt's marriages, ethics violations, and add important facts about his balancing the budget, defeating communisism, and killing Osama Bin Laden with his giant penis  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(67)
		Thanks to angry mathematicians, Elsevier's publishing model might be about to go up in smoke  (forbes.com)	(79)

		If this sport catches on, our Asian carp problem may soon be over  (liveleak.com)	(69)
		A handy guide to completing a collection of the most useless, disgusting things ever created by human beings that isn't a Kardashian  (wired.com)	(34)
		Louisiana congressman thought an Onion story about Planned Parenthood opening an "$8 Billion Abortionplex" was real. Hey, at least he can read  (uproxx.com)	(129)
		GOP candidate uses Asian stereotypes to attack opponent. Well there's a supplies  (huffingtonpost.com)	(173)
		FACT: Egyptian kidnappers are better hosts than most of your friends  (shortlist.com)	(54)

		Remember how Obama said that US drone attacks have "not caused a huge number of civilian casualties?" Yeah, turns out they've been targeting rescuers at the scenes of previous attacks. And firing on mourners at funerals  (salon.com)	(449)
		CAN the Giants shock the world again? WILL the Patriots avenge their defeat from four years ago? HOW MANY FARKers will succumb to alcohol poisoning this year? THIS is YOUR Super Bowl XLVI Discussion Thread. (Kickoff @ 6:30 EST on NBC)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(¾)
		The Giants official website congratulates the Giants on winning the Super Bowl, before the game is played  (espn.go.com)	(48)
		Insane Russian free climbing. Difficulty factor: Everything (caution: vertigo alert)  (youtube.com)	(56)
		How cold is it in Europe? Water is freezing and Russians are putting on their underwear (pics)  (boston.com)	(94)
(Some Guy)		Canadian police determine that certain astrological signs are more likely to be Aries-ted  (inquisitr.com)	(49)
		There's a new professional basketball scoring record, as the ABA's Jacksonville Giants win 211-84  (deadspin.com)	(14)

		Further proving that liberals are wholly responsible for voter fraud, the Republican Indiana Secretary State has been personally convicted of six charges of voter fraud   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(142)
		Australian SPCA designs iPad app for kittens so they can play games all Caturday long  (news.com.au)	(811)
		Mitt Romney: We are the only people who put their hand over our hearts during the national anthem. In other news, Chinese, South Africans, Brazilians, Ghanaians, Cubans, Mexicans, and Peruvians aren't people  (buzzfeed.com)	(159)

		Six of the biggest and most elaborate F*CK YOUs given to the music industry by musicians  (cracked.com)	(83)
		Eighteen-mile crack seen in Antarctic glacier. Coming Up Next: Unfrozen Giant Caveman Plumber  (gma.yahoo.com)	(23)
		Canadian Senator wants to give prisoners the option of being in the loop  (ctv.ca)	(143)
		10 examples of politicians trying to be funny. Complete with cringe-inducing videos. Tumbleweeds missing though  (shortlist.com)	(23)
		Jewish Indiana Jones faces 20 years in prison. He chose...poorly  (msnbc.msn.com)	(94)
(Some Guy)		Fark ready headline "Christians Boycott Starbucks - Because Romans 1 Explains Starbucks Hates God"  (usachristianministries.com)	(198)
		After Super Bowl sound check, Madonna now in great shape, ready to play on NY Giants' special teams  (msn.foxsports.com)	(39)
		Utah prosecutors clear police of all charges for using pepper spray and batons on a group of Polynesian students performing a haka at a football game, because no one in Utah can be expected to have the slightest idea what a haka is  (stuff.co.nz)	(73)
		Indiana lawmakers pass last-minute legislation making it more difficult for thousands of men to find hookers for the Super Bowl  (foxnews.com)	(36)
		Russian attack plane headed for Everett. WOLVERINES  (komonews.com)	(32)
(Popoholic)		Adriana Lima featured in an onslaught of Super Bowl 2012 commercials  (popoholic.com)	(30)
		Long lost Indonesian twins run into each other three decades later in Sweden living 25 miles from each other. Bonus: After viewing pic, you would wish you were a couch pillow  (telegraph.co.uk)	(71)

		Adrian Peterson will be permitted to change his number, so long as he buys the $1,000,000 worth of existing Reebok jerseys with his current number  (startribune.com)	(34)
		Worst job in Science: These physicians injected an average of 20.5 cc using "a back-and-forth technique" into the deep soft tissue layers of the penises of 50 men. The product was then 'homogenized with a roller.'  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)	(82)
		The RIAA is upset that the OPEN Act isn't draconian enough  (arstechnica.com)	(53)
		Having run out of regular immigrants, Canada recruits bureaucrats to pose as new Canadians for a citizenship ceremony  (abcnews.go.com)	(37)
		Woman criticises your website for stating that 85 per cent of rapes go unreported is 'good odds'. Should you C)Take to Twitter to ask if she is a lesbian?  (thisisplymouth.co.uk)	(198)

		Everyone freaks out after comedian says "wanker" on live BBC broadcast. What a bunch of bollocks  (thesun.co.uk)	(64)
		Arab League goes before UN to plead for help in stopping Syrian govt massacring its own people. Guess which nation is putting a kibosh on any assistance  (aljazeera.com)	(68)
		Glowing nebula looks like giant human face in new photo (with "ehhh....if you say so" photo)  (space.com)	(39)
		After a rough night at Quark's, Captain Sisko beamed to jail for taking the helm of the Defiant while drunk  (eonline.com)	(59)
(Jezebel)		The 21 Most Lesbianish Cities in America  (jezebel.com)	(110)

		Comedian from popular, news-savvy TV show launches Presidential campaign to expose foibles of the political process. No, we're not talking about Stephen Colbert. Come upon my lawn and let me tell you about Pat Paulsen  (rollingstone.com)	(67)
		Economies of midwest states, particularly Michigan, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania, have improved faster than the rest of the U.S. since 2009. Not that this fact has any particular relevance in this particular year  (bloomberg.com)	(171)
		"Sightings of raccoons are down 99 per cent, opossums 98.9 per cent and white-tailed deer 94 per cent." Giant pythons have eaten the Everglades  (smh.com.au)	(71)
		I'm voting for Newt today, just as a protest vote against the sleazy and Nixonian liberal RINO Willard Mittons  (townhall.com)	(164)
		Awesome Bohemian Rhapsody one-dude-in-split-screen cover, with bonus features - The Clapper and a Wonder Woman Bobblehead  (youtube.com)	(42)
		PNAS study reveals Christian political beliefs not as firm as the foundation erected by Jesus' teachings. PNAS  (physorg.com)	(42)
(Some Guy)		Julian Assange to appear on The Simpsons, sexually assault Miss Krabappel, leak all of Mr. Burns' secret files   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(16)
		Famed British actor Ian Abercrombie dies at 77, his seven Seinfeld episodes imbedded his unique character in our memory forever  (washingtonpost.com)	(63)

		Man found passed out in SUV urinates on Chicago police station floor, insists his air piano performance sounded awesome. The percussive handcuffs really killed it  (chicagotribune.com)	(11)
		Orlando Magic free fall continues. Last night's 21-point blowout brought to you courtesy of the Indiana Pacers  (orlandosentinel.com)	(62)
		A scholarly examination of why certain cultures chow down on things the rest of the world finds repulsive, like hakarl, natto, Sardinian maggot cheese, and White Castle burgers  (nytimes.com)	(75)
		*Knock knock* "What is it Leftenant Sebastian?" "It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here and they've brought a flag." "Damn, that's dash cunning of them"  (abcnews.go.com)	(62)
		Matt Cassel saves family from house fire. Also saves: cat, player piano, washer, dryer, grandfather clock, couch, vanity, dining set  (sports.yahoo.com)	(35)

		I have no idea what you're saying so here's a picture of a bunch of Indian kids dressed up like Gandhi  (chron.com)	(39)
		Will Kane's Libertarian hate or John Cena's constipated face win the day? Will SHOOOOOOOW or Mizark squash Daniel Bryan like so many peas? Who will this years surprise entrants be? It's the 25th Royal Rumble, live on PPV at 8 PM ET  (bleacherreport.com)	(lots)
		55-year-old Florida man claiming Indian descent wears war paint, headdresses, and performs sacred dance ceremonies at heritage festivals across the state. Some Native Americans have a problem with this (w/ pic of alleged Indian)  (heraldtribune.com)	(164)

		A Republican member of the Indiana General Assembly withdrew his bill to create a pilot program for drug testing welfare applicants Friday after one of his Democratic colleagues amended the measure to require drug testing for lawmakers  (huffingtonpost.com)	(110)
		South Korean activists send valuable socks to Best Korea via giant hot air condom  (msnbc.msn.com)	(66)
		Christian leader condemns new Star Wars MMO because it allows gay relationships -- forgetting, of course, that gamers don't have sexual relationships of any kind, gay or straight  (rawstory.com)	(414)
(nbc miami)		1500 live turtles found in luggage at Indonesian airport. Security officials wary of yet another international shell game  (nbcmiami.com)	(13)
		In today's episode of "This Should End Well": Syrian rebels capture 7 Iranians, including 5 members of the Revolutionary Guard, in Homs  (news.com.au)	(53)
		That's one small block for LEGO man, one giant block for LEGO-kind  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(55)
(The Sun News)		School changes mascot back to original, non-PC Indian. "It's hard to cheer for a lighthouse"  (myrtlebeachonline.com)	(100)
		Canadian orange juice banned in U.S. What's next, Mexican maple syrup?  (money.cnn.com)	(68)

		Prici whore. Caught sayof celebrity that has stoped Liveing " See, told ya so" Is Cher dead or not. Kardashian Says yes. Tabloids Looking for credibilitys -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for bullshiat again"  (starpulse.com)	(52)
		Jim Irsay: Peyton's a politician who should keep his concerns "in house." Translation: Peyton's done in Indy  (indystar.com)	(94)
		Despite what Americans say about wanting more civility from their politicians, they generally only reward rude behavior. My goodness, Americans liking rude behavior. That's just crazy talk  (npr.org)	(43)
(Some Guy)		Russian officials want to outlaw political protests that use soft toys, plastic penguins, Lego men and South Park figures  (couriermail.com.au)	(6)
		Joran Van Der Sloot's health deteriorating in new Peruvian prison, still doing better than Natalee Holloway and Stephany Flores  (dailymail.co.uk)	(69)
		If Iran didn't already know how to cause serious problems for the US in a future Persian Gulf conflict, they sure as hell do now  (msnbc.msn.com)	(128)
		It isn't normal for vice presidents to give speeches in Indian accents, but on Biden it is  (dailymail.co.uk)	(87)
		Drew Carey splits with fiancee after a five year engagement. *sad trombone music*  (people.com)	(78)
		Another politician learns the valuable lesson on the difference between the "reply" button and the "reply to all" button  (wral.com)	(184)

		Tim Lincecum passes on 5 year, $100M offer from Giants, accepts 2/$40.5M instead, probably could have been talked into 4/$20M  (blog.sfgate.com)	(44)
		Bucs closing in on Rutgers Coach Shiano? Wait, WHO?  (espn.go.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		Indiana gets jealous of all the attention Kentucky is getting, so their senate approves creationism being taught in science class  (ibj.com)	(411)
		Son of U.S. Transportation Secretary will not be allowed to leave Egypt, according to Egyptian officials hoping to get Seal Team 6's autographs  (news.nationalpost.com)	(44)
(Some earplugs, please)		Shriekapalooza: Maria Sharapova and Victoria Azarenka to meet for Australian Open title  (cnnsi.com)	(31)
		Rihanna wears her heart on her sleeve and has every waking thought tattooed on her Barbadian bod. (new ink pics)  (bittenandbound.com)	(34)
		The Russians can see the euro zone crisis from their backyards  (blogs.marketwatch.com)	(1)
(Some Guy)		Kurt Warner invests in an Indian professional football league which will likely be the biggest sports-related boondoggle of the year  (bizjournals.com)	(35)

		10 reasons Indianapolis will be a lot more fun than you think-- including the Bob Knight Reflecting Pool and the world's largest meat statue  (nbcbayarea.com)	(115)
(Some Guy)		Mel Gibson on Tom Hardy getting his blessing to play Mad Max: "Sure. It's fine. Knock yourself out. I've got better things to do." Like Russian models  (moveablefest.com)	(56)
		Experts managed to sneak actual science into Hollywood science fiction movies. Still no cure for midichlorians  (io9.com)	(88)
		"Those (corporations) who donate funds also control the politicians, and the politicians (become) more accountable to their sponsors than to their constituents." Wait until you see what country they're talking about  (cnn.com)	(43)
		De-icing a caribou, applied parabolic avian trajectories, and Kenny G's wife tired of boring sax: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/15 - 1/21  (fark.com)	(12)
		Article: "How do Australians respond to shark attacks?" Bleeding profusely and acquiring bigger boats strangely absent  (bbc.co.uk)	(30)
		The hot wives and girlfriends of the Patriots and Giants. Bill Belichick definitely has no reason to cheat  (nydailynews.com)	(65)
(KATC.com)		Drunk driver fish-tails on Interstate 10 in Louisiana, swerves into the opposite lane, causes multi-truck pileup, staggers around, resists arrest and gets tasered. The Aristocrats  (katc.com)	(29)
		Three ways that conservative Christianity promotes abortions  (alternet.org)	(197)
		Finally a politician ADMITS Greece is unlikely to be saved from financial ruin. Bonus Pic : Prototype German Cyberman  (guardian.co.uk)	(31)

		Italian porn stars to face off in mayoral election. That's one way to cause a rise in the polls (w/ potentially not-safe-for-work pic)  (thesun.co.uk)	(74)
		Mitt's unfavorability is soaring to Gingrichian levels  (talkingpointsmemo.com)	(111)
(Some Guy)		Iran responds to EU sanctions by announcing the execution of a Canadian  (nakedsecurity.sophos.com)	(82)
		How do you say streetlight in Russian?  (liveleak.com)	(39)
		Food trucks coming to Fark Worldwide HQ. "Bring on the wood-fired pizza, the artisanal ice cream, the Korean barbecue, the Hawaiian sliders, the curbside comfort food"  (kentucky.com)	(78)
		Instead of being ecstatic that their team made the Super Bowl, working class New Yorkers are whining about how expensive the tickets are, while the 1-percenters are whining about the lack of 5-star hotels in Indianapolis  (nypost.com)	(176)
		In two years, Mitt Romney made more money than the median salary will generate in 900 years - on a tax rate of just 13%  (msnbc.msn.com)	(701)
		50 Cent bet on Giants returns $500,000 - and they say gambling gets a bad rap  (wonderwall.msn.com)	(28)
		Sorta news: 15-year old girl calls 911 because she could hear her mother having sex. Fark: She asks the police to take her to a Christian children's shelter because she felt "disrespected"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(161)

(Mt. Buzludzha)		Photoshop this bizarre Bulgarian building  (bigpicture.ru)	(25)
		EU approves embargo on Iranian oil. The you-know-what is about to hit the you-know-where   (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)	(330)
		Martina Navratilova questions Caroline Wozniacki's status as the No. 1 women's tennis player, criticizing ranking system. Navratilova then defiantly insisted she could lick Wozniacki anywhere, anytime  (bloomberg.com)	(25)
		Simon Cowell votes no on his fiancé  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(25)
(Some Howler)		What police cars really need are giant new loud sirens called Howlers. Because the old ones surely weren't loud enough  (bartow.wtsp.com)	(96)
		Hello, possums. Barry "Dame Edna" Humphries wins title of Australian of the Year in the UK, marking the first time the award has not been won by someone named Bruce  (theage.com.au)	(23)
		Russian scientist claims signs of life spotted on Venus. Wal-Mart immediately plans opening of store #8403  (news.yahoo.com)	(51)

		Manning will be playing in Indianapolis this year after all  (espn.go.com)	(448)
(Urban Christian News)		The Urban Christian News gets a little too urban in their coverage of Notre Dame's win over Syracuse (see cover photo)  (urbanchristiannews.com)	(20)
		Can the Patriots defeat the Ravens to win their first AFC championship in 4 years? Will the 49ers beat the Giants and cap off an amazing comeback season? It's the NFL Conference Championships thread, games at 3 PM on CBS, 6:30 PM on Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(5698)
		Turns out that thousands of Egyptians died in the street to remove a dictator in order to vote in a new one. Welcome to the Arab Winter  (washingtonpost.com)	(268)
		To commemorate the Giants playing in the NFC Championship game, the Empire state building was supposed to be lit blue. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can probably guess what happened  (nj.com)	(77)
		Greetings. I am a member of the Nigerian Royal Family and need your assistance in securing the release of the American hostage. I await your bank account number so that arrangements can be made. This is 100% safe and is not a scam  (ajc.com)	(41)

(Some Guy)		Publisher of iPad textbooks claims students show a 20 percent performance increase, specifically in studies of applied parabolic avian trajectories coupled with porcine devastation  (macrumors.com)	(39)
		Are you scientifically literate? Take this quiz by the Christian Science Monitor. It has Science in the name, so you know it's legit  (csmonitor.com)	(203)
		Cricket on the court bugs players at Australian Open, hot ball girl makes one handed save  (youtube.com)	(33)

		Magician trying to build a safer saw makes his finger disappear  (dailymail.co.uk)	(55)
(Some unhip hopper)		Hip hop artist puts on concert to benefit ovarian cancer. Wait a minute. I thought we were against that  (minnesota.cbslocal.com)	(36)
		Fire at NJ professor's home reveals cache of child porn. Police now investigating whether fire was started on orders from a giant anthropomorphic rabbit  (news.yahoo.com)	(148)
		I see your confusing Pir Pagara obituary and raise you this nearly unreadable obituary for Ronald Searle, artist and limner of St Trinian's and St Custard's, "when everbode still kepe larffing at the world Mr Searle hav made"  (economist.com)	(28)
(KJRH)		Yet another doctor caught having sex with a patient, except in this case he's an equine veterinarian  (kjrh.com)	(126)
		US Army officer confirms that team of US commandos are nearing the Iranian border. Also adds that they will cross the border at 32°11' 4" N by 53°5'12" E at exactly 11:34 Zulu right near that great ambush spot  (news.yahoo.com)	(67)
		Gary Glitter Twitter account attracts scorn, but the prize goes to comedian Frankie Boyle's tweet "Hi Gary. Would you say it's you or the captain of the Concordia that's f****d more people in international waters?"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(52)

		OJ Simpson may have never found the real killers, but he found Khloe Kardashian's real father. And it is him  (mercurynews.com)	(98)
(Some Guy)		Fausto Carmona no longer to pitch for the Cleveland Indians. Technically he never has  (cleveland.sbnation.com)	(36)
		His piano playing is even more impressive than his monobrow  (wimp.com)	(35)
		Italian doctors discover a man admitted to their hospital was secretly a Time Lord  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)	(48)
(IBD)		Obama shuts down Disneyworld for a day so he can give a speech to Floridians about how to improve their struggling tourism industry  (news.investors.com)	(141)
		Joe Biden (D-erp) is happy to congratulate the Giants on getting to the Superbowl. Apparently, 49ers didn't have the pitching to control the San Francisco Giants big hitters, right Joe?  (blog.sfgate.com)	(103)
		Iranian actress banned from Iran over nude pictorial  (telegraph.co.uk)	(89)
		The Iranian fisherman Rescue trifecta is now complete  (huffingtonpost.com)	(15)
		Mother sues Disney Channel after she was spanked by warm-up comedian during taping of Good Luck Charlie (with unfortunate/awkward picture of said comedian)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(46)
		I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's Jessica Simpson wearing a giant deformed penis mask  (buzzfeed.com)	(45)

		Celine Dion's song from "Titanic" was playing when the Italian cruise ship capsized  (nzherald.co.nz)	(107)
		Mathematicians: "we're not saying we've found a mathematical solution that explains why serial killers kill, but.....ehh.....we've found a mathematical solution that explains why serial killers kill"  (msnbc.msn.com)	(105)
(Some Guy)		NY and SF mayors bet on NFC championship game. If the Giants win, a cable car gets repainted in Giants colors. If the 49ers win, 49th Street will become 49ers Street  (abclocal.go.com)	(74)
(Some Guy)		Indiana unveils 1st license plate benefiting gay youth. Hoosier Daddy?  (theindychannel.com)	(39)
(Global News)		Canadian website Global News salutes Fark and other sites for taking a stand against the draconian bullshiat that is SOPA and PIPA  (globalnews.ca)	(0)
		NJ Governor Chris Christie says that if the NY Giants win the Superbowl NJ should pay for them to parade around the Meadowlands parking lot in lieu of NYC paying for a parade down Broadway in Manhattan  (nypost.com)	(104)
		Being Kate Beckinsale is awesome. Being her mom, and finding a giant rubber penis that Kate hid in your luggage after arriving at the airport? Not so much  (contactmusic.com)	(80)
		Upcoming tell-all book claims Britney Spears had wild lesbian orgies with her dancing girls while on tour, just like in your fantasies  (thesun.co.uk)	(51)
		Tornadoes touchdown in Indiana, Kentucky, and Mississippi. Indianapolis spared as there hasn't been a touchdown there in months  (news.yahoo.com)	(20)
		Khloe Kardashian undergoes fertility treatments, should be producing adequate amounts of sperm in no time  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(28)

		With gun rights advocates getting concealed carry passed in most states, America has turned into one giant bloodbath. Ha, just kidding. Homicide drops off the list of top 15 causes of death  (abcnews.go.com)	(325)
		10 cool pictures of the Universe from astronomers to distract you from the giant asteroid impact they're covering up  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(9)
		New York Giants-New England Patriots Super Bowl matchup would be the most-watched show in the history of U.S. television, as audiences long for a Brady going against a Manning  (bloomberg.com)	(120)
		Russians officially convinced it was US radar that downed their Phobos Ground spacecraft  (english.pravda.ru)	(61)
		Timmies changes something, old Canadians yell at clouds  (thestar.com)	(51)
		What do Fabio Cannavaro, Robert Pires, Hernan Crespo, Maniche, and Robbie Fowler have in common? They'll all be playing in the (Indian) Premier League next year  (guardian.co.uk)	(16)
		If you've found a missing spacecraft in your backyard, please contact the Russian Space Agency  (abcnews.go.com)	(21)

		We finally have an area of science the US is far more advanced and liberal than Europe: Genetically engineering giant frankenburgers topped with basketball-sized tomatoes, woolly mammoth bacon and low-fat plastic cheese  (blogs.nature.com)	(90)
		Man arrested for selling Canadian military secrets. I'm not sure either. Locations of all Tim Hortons? How to de-ice a caribou?  (cbc.ca)	(196)
		Louisiana toddler dies after two-year battle with rare skin disease. In other news, Jesus helped Tim Tebow pass for 136 yards Saturday Night  (foxnews.com)	(446)
		DC police reach out to gay, lesbian gangs with a fashion show  (washingtonpost.com)	(54)
		Will Jericho troll the audience? Will Kane beat his Libertarian platform into John Cena? Can somebody call Brodus Clay's mama? Why will Perez Hilton be appearing? All this and new Tag Team Champions on WWE Monday Night Raw, 9 PM on USA  (bleacherreport.com)	(1453)
		The story of how Indiana's House of Representatives unanimously passed a bill declaring pi to be exactly 3.2. This is true, for sufficiently large values of pi  (mentalfloss.com)	(143)
		Politician forced to resign after creating Downfall parody attacking opponent. Wait until Hitler hears about this  (guardian.co.uk)	(86)
		Bakery unveils TSA-compliant cupcake. It's da bomb  (newsfeed.time.com)	(46)
		Outgoing Russian President Dimitry Medvedev pulls a mini-coup on his way out the door. Premier Putin reportedly most displeased  (miamiherald.com)	(29)
		Russian spacecraft falls into Pacific Ocean west of Chile, fails to hit giant target so nobody gets a free taco  (washingtonpost.com)	(19)
(Some Guy)		The mayor of the capital of Iceland, a comedian and founder of the Best Party, writes what could possibly be the most intelligent and insightful welcome to the New Year, ever  (grapevine.is)	(52)

		Secret. Hollywood. Lesbian. Parties.  (huffingtonpost.com)	(118)
		The dumbest things Floridians have ever seen their fellow drivers do. "She was eating a bowl of cereal and applying makeup simultaneously"  (sun-sentinel.com)	(181)
		In an effort to isolate themselves from everybody, Iran says that any OPEC country that tries to increase oil production to offset any Iranian oil embargo will be considered an "unfriendly act"  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(168)
		Can the Texans defeat the Ravens to play in their first championship game? Will the Giants send the Packers packing? Will anything beat the Saints/49ers game? It's the NFL Divisionals Day 2 thread, games at 1 PM on CBS, 4:30 PM on Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		US Coast Guard Cutter Healy and Russian Tanker Renda moor off of Nome, Alaska, ready to deliver the fuel to rescue a desperate town. Perhaps with this gesture, in the future, the two nations may become friends  (abcnews.go.com)	(198)
		Utah's top law enforcement officer accused of plagiariz...er, stealing intellectual property in support of SOPA. Damages estimated at about 28 billion dollars by MPAA/RIAA mathematicians  (sltrib.com)	(46)

		Teen atheist showered with Christian love  (examiner.com)	(910)
		If you would like a Russian Mars probe, this weekend could be your unlucky day  (news.yahoo.com)	(25)

		Poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace Dwarf-slut Tila Tequila is converting to Judiasm. Oy vey  (tmz.com)	(107)
		You can't win, Republicans. If you strike RON PAUL down, Libertarianism shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine  (buzzfeed.com)	(210)
		Buy $15 worth of wooden crates at The Russian Container Store and receive 79 free Kalashnikov rifles  (reuters.com)	(75)
(Some Doctor)		Whovians: Are you ready for a RomCom??  (tor.com)	(77)
		Van der Sloot extends Peruvian vacation till 2039  (chicagotribune.com)	(116)
(Some Extremist)		Christian extremists rewrite the Constitution, and you're not in it  (thenewcivilrightsmovement.com)	(113)
(Some Guy)		Not news: College student gets drunk after consuming ten drinks. Fark: And then breaks into a museum and tries to steal a claw from the real 20-foot skeleton of a giant ground sloth  (dispatch.com)	(48)
		Syrian state media chooses a soundtrack for their pro-Assad propaganda video  (youtube.com)	(23)

(WTSP)		Cool: High school students write letters, thanking Muslim leader for explaining Islam to class. Fark: Christian family association sends over 3,500 emails, condemning Muslim leader's visit  (wtsp.com)	(233)
(Motherboard.tv)		Cosmically brilliant or SOPA king we todd did? Hackers plan to build an uncensorable Internet in outer space  (motherboard.vice.com)	(36)
		Israeli courts uphold law denying citizenship to Palestinian spouses of Israelis in order to preserve Jewish purity. You know who else had marriage laws aimed at preserving purity?  (news.yahoo.com)	(481)
(Some Guy)		Coming energy wars mean Americans are likely to discover where the South China Sea and the Caspian are in the next few years  (tomdispatch.com)	(68)
(LA Activist)		This may shock some of you so make sure you're sitting down: A politician lied  (laactivist.com)	(40)
		Ten crazy-ass adventures you never knew Indiana Jones went on  (io9.com)	(19)
(Some Canuck)		Canadian government to replace mouthwash with vodka. Their best idea since EVER  (z1043.com)	(81)
(Some SOPA Fearing Guy)		Comcast's Lawyers: "We think SOPA is just the bestest idea ever ever." Comcast's Technical Experts: "Uh, it's unpossible for us to be SOPA compliant." Now what, Beeyotches?  (theverge.com)	(180)
		Workers at the headquarters for parking giant Central Parking anger locals by taking all their on-street parking  (tennessean.com)	(74)

		Australian university evicts squatters  (news.com.au)	(14)
		Newly digitized color illustrations of the heavens, from Victorian era artist and astronomer Etienne Leopold Trouvelot. Warning: slideshow  (livescience.com)	(6)
		Canadian freestyle skier Sarah Burke in coma after mishap while training on superpipe in Park City  (cbc.ca)	(37)
		Khloe Kardashian might have a different father. Attichitcuk may have some explaining to do  (wwtdd.com)	(50)
		Jon Huntsman: "Politics isn't really a humanitarian cause." Well, duh  (hotair.com)	(58)
		There's been a huge rise in the number of civilians killed or wounded by gunfire as a result of quasi-military police raids, which is naturally leading police to question the tactic. Fark: Because cops might get hurt, too  (usatoday.com)	(133)
		Polish prosecutor who shot self on Monday during a press conference had an $800,000 bounty on his head and wanted to prevent military prosecutors from being replaced by civilians  (news.nationalpost.com)	(27)
		Credit card skimmers make off with treasure in Sierra Madre. Suspects include a bearded man in a beat-up fedora and a Mexican man in a giant hat who claimed to be a law enforcement officer but refused to show a badge  (ktla.com)	(22)
		Our long national nightmare is finally over as Southern Indiana limestone workers end their strike. Finally, we can buy some fresh limestone again. Build limestone houses and furniture. Drive limestone cars  (msnbc.msn.com)	(51)
		Head of Russian Space Agency isn't blaming its recent string of accidents and failures on foreign sabotage. He's just asking questions  (csmonitor.com)	(34)
		Hey... How about a nice Hawaiian punch?  (nbclosangeles.com)	(22)
(Bangor Daily News)		When it comes to a pedestrian or some guy on a bike, the right of way goes to the one with the biggest knife  (bangordailynews.com)	(13)
		Another Iranian nuclear scientist has car trouble  (bbc.co.uk)	(548)
		Boy snags giant crayfish suitable for Christmas dinner, your nightmares  (stuff.co.nz)	(75)

(Some Hamburger Mary)		Today's image of the Virgin Mary appearing to Floridians is brought to you by Hamburger Mary's restaurant  (ybor.wtsp.com)	(59)
		Peoria schools consider replacing full-time custodians with outsourced part-timers, including high school students working weeknights from 5 to 9. "I thought it would be a great opportunity for students to get work experience"  (azcentral.com)	(225)
		Terrorists have trained mussels and kelp to attack Canadian navy  (cbc.ca)	(26)
(That's a whole lot of wrong)		It's not news, it's incestuous lesbian pedo rape phone porn  (sunshinecoastdaily.com.au)	(141)
		US ship rescues Iranian sailors at sea. This is not a repeat from Thursday  (google.com)	(84)
		Katy Perry backs out of People's Choice Awards. Doesn't beep like Kim Kardashian  (people.com)	(42)
		Beyonce says Blue Ivy's birth was natural, not one of those weird pod ejection things like the Tenctonians in Alien Nation did  (tmz.com)	(56)
		New York City Opera tells its musicians to leave the aria  (nydailynews.com)	(21)

		Brian's dog already loved cilantro mixed with burned rubber and dirty socks - so it was easy for him  (myfoxdc.com)	(29)
		Canadian Prime Minister will not be playing hockey against Russian Prime Minister, in case you were wondering  (canada.com)	(54)

		If you take the best features of eight smoking hot actresses, such as Kate Beckinsale, Kelly Brook & Megan Fox, and put them together to make the "ultimate woman" you'll get someone who looks exactly like Kim Kardashian  (starpulse.com)	(150)
		Giants complete the rare Ryan trifecta  (scores.espn.go.com)	(99)
		Australian woman manages "miracle escape" after cord snap during bungee jump over crocodile-infested waters. In other news, some people are stupid enough to bungee jump over crocodile-infested waters  (mirror.co.uk)	(128)
		Will the Last Manning Standing lead the Giants to victory over the Falcons? Will Tebow's favorite deity give him the power to take down the Steelers? It's the NFL Wildcard Weekend: Day 2 thread (games at 1 PM on Fox, 4:30 on CBS)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		Norwegian reality show challenges blondes to change the processor in their hard drive. IT consultants' head explodes  (youtube.com)	(234)
		Two Australians a day are arrested while travelling abroad. If only there was some godforsaken continent they could be transported to  (stuff.co.nz)	(44)
		Hey, Chik-fil-A. Imma let you finish, but Papa John's has the best Asian slur on a customer receipt of all time. OF ALL TIME  (huffingtonpost.com)	(287)
		Researchers say avian flu did not kill S. Korean ducks, but have not ruled out quack cocaine  (upi.com)	(12)

		Lesbian announces her intention to run for Miss California, which, of course, some people are upset about. Who cares? She's hot  (huffingtonpost.com)	(224)
(Some Guy)		While Americans worry about the relationship status of the Kardashians, Congress is looking at a new way to strip Americans of their citizenship if they get all protest-y  (addictinginfo.org)	(252)
(Herald Scotland)		Old and busted: Stonehenge. Older and busteder: Orcadian temple on Orkney  (heraldscotland.com)	(37)
		Michele Bachmann raises the fashion bar, level of acceptable derp for female politicians  (washingtonpost.com)	(34)
		Hawaiian volcano Kilauea erupts for 29th continuous year. Still short of the record currently held by Bobby Knight  (msnbc.msn.com)	(11)
(MMA Junkie)		Mixed martial artist Christiane "Cyborg" Santos tests positive for steroids, is apparently female  (mmajunkie.com)	(99)

		Syrians aren't saying aliens have landed, but an alien has landed  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)	(40)
		Guess who rescued the crew of a hijacked Iranian fishing boat?  (cnn.com)	(141)
(Some Guy)		Giant boot stolen from display. Police on the lookout for an old lady who has so many kids she doesn't know what to do  (lfpress.com)	(26)
(SF Gate)		Giants fans, if you ever wanted your very own Brian Wilson garden gnome, be one of the first 20,000 people at the May 20 game at AT&T Park  (sfist.com)	(22)
		The case for harmonious lock-step authoritarian group-think  (nypost.com)	(28)
		Mathematicians prove 17 is the least amount of clues needed for a Sudoku puzzle to be solvable. Still no cure for chess  (technologyreview.com)	(37)
		Rick Santorum is a dedicated humanitarian and "defender of the most vulnerable". Says who? Some guy named Bono, apparently he's in a band or something  (news.yahoo.com)	(36)
		Louisiana beats Western Kentucky in overtime using the rare 6-on-5 basketball power play  (deadspin.com)	(29)
		Kim Kardashian Whispers that she's Chaneling Liz Taylor's Cleopatra as she poses with her White Shoulders. Her Obsession is taking a Ptolemy  (dailymail.co.uk)	(35)
		Santorum: "All the people that live in the West Bank are Israelis. They're not Palestinians - there is no Palestinian - this is Israeli land"  (thelede.blogs.nytimes.com)	(224)

		This girl has steel balls: She snuck into a Russian military rocket factory, took amazing photos and then gave authorities the finger when they asked her to take them down  (gizmodo.com)	(59)
		Brothel owner decides that if you have to be screwed by a politician, he wants it to be Ron Paul. "We thought real closely about supporting Newt Gingrich, because he's a cheater and we like cheaters"  (blog.seattlepi.com)	(79)
		CNN decides to get Conservatives all frothy by saying Santorum is trying to impose 'Judeo-Christian Sharia'  (cnn.com)	(198)
		Kim Kardashian to be immortalized as a Barbie doll. "Urination Action" Ray J sold separately  (starpulse.com)	(71)
		Apparently having never heard of the states of "Ohio" or "Wisconsin"; Indiana Republicans try to force through a union-busting bill on the first day fo the legislative session  (news.yahoo.com)	(125)
		Canadian Defence Minister marries hot Iranian chick. What could possibly go wrong?  (cnews.canoe.ca)	(132)
		Russian quasicrystal was not made on Earth, nor by man  (csmonitor.com)	(11)
		Benedict Cumberbatch LENSFLARE has signed LENSFLARE on to play LENSFLARE the villian in Star LENSFLARE Trek II: The Search for LENSFLARE  (huffingtonpost.com)	(113)
		West Virginia defeats Clemson 70-33 in the Orange Bowl. To put that into perspective, the last time a group of South Carolinians were beaten this badly, it ended slavery  (miamiherald.com)	(82)
		Christian group prayed to God that George Michael would die while in the hospital, didn't have enough faith  (spinner.com)	(80)

		George Washington: Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere. Newt Gingrich: I think George Washington would have rather strongly discouraged you from growing marijuana  (huffingtonpost.com)	(79)
		Fox News explores whether every musician except Kid Rock is part of a secret conspiracy to keep all the really good campaign songs away from the GOP  (foxnews.com)	(251)
(Evansville Courier & Press)		Indiana State Police ban "potentially dangerous" cans of Dr Pepper from Statehouse, where vending machines inside sell ... Dr Pepper  (courierpress.com)	(64)
		Apparently Apple has become its own independent nation, as Canadian man uses his iPad in lieu of a passport to gain entry into the US  (news.yahoo.com)	(46)
		Photoshop these muddy musicians  (spiegel.de)	(16)

		After a trying 2011, Kim Kardashian says she's never looking back, most likely because Dat Ass blocks the view  (seattlepi.com)	(55)
		Iran to U.S. Navy: Keep your fleet out of the Persian Gulf, or we'll publish pictures of us sinking your ships. U.S. Navy: That'd be one hell of a Photoshop job  (reuters.com)	(512)
		St Trinian's and Molesworth creator Ronald Searle dies at 91. Yar boo sucks chiz chiz  (uk.reuters.com)	(24)
		Israelis and Palestinians to meet again for peace talks. Meet again? I thought they lived in the same house  (bbc.co.uk)	(50)
		Stanford falls to Oklahoma State in overtime, Andrew Luck gets a head start as an Indianapolis Colt by losing in a shootout  (scores.espn.go.com)	(81)

		They're still around and floating around in some kind of Space Rock classification, but Kasabian is still having fun and breaking shiat. This is Switchblade Smiles  (youtube.com)	(12)
		Will Kane's message of hate and Libertarianism further demoralize John Cena? And just who will be the mysterious person that returns on 1/2/2012? Brodus Clay? The Undertaker? Brock Lesnar? Akeem? Find out on WWE Monday Night Raw, 9 PM on USA  (bleacherreport.com)	(lots)
		The Indianapolis Colts fire the Polians. All of them  (espn.go.com)	(96)
		How nasty is the 2012 election going to get? Well, it hasn't offically started yet, and Mitt Romey has already compared Barack Obama to Kim Kardashian  (thedailybeast.com)	(56)
		Robert Anderson, who played Darth Vader in the lightsaber duels in "Empire" and "Jedi" dies at 89. Will be digitally replaced by Hayden Christiansen at the funeral  (washingtonpost.com)	(109)
		Australian researcher gets test subjects to wear the same pair of jeans for three months straight without washing, a phenomenon we in the U.S. call "college"  (news.com.au)	(67)
		Super-volcano under German lake about to erupt and destroy Europe. Happy New Year  (dailymail.co.uk)	(93)

		It's the jam-packed final week of the regular season, with the Cowboys vs. Giants for the NFC East, The Broncos vs. their neckbearded prodigal son, and the Lions vs. the Packers. It's the NFL Week 17 thread, 1 PM ET on CBS and Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		Indiana has now beaten the #1 and #2 teams in the nation. They're baaaaaaaack  (sports.espn.go.com)	(39)
		Top 100 influential Canadians in baseball, 2011. You'll need a bigger leaflet  (m.torontosun.com)	(29)
		Mandrake the Magician has performed his last trick. Former New York Giants outfielder Don Mueller dead at age 84  (nytimes.com)	(6)

		Professor claims he and his wife were fired because they are Christian-from a Muslim university owned by the king of Dubai-which is in Scotland. Should we be outraged by this or not?  (telegraph.co.uk)	(97)
		Jon Huntsman says Ron Paul is "unelectable". In similar news, Paris Hilton says Kim Kardashian can't act  (cbsnews.com)	(237)
		Caviar cache found in Russian morgue. Evidence being held on death roe  (wftv.com)	(11)
		Michael Jordan has found himself a new fiancee. This, of course, gives us an excuse to look at pictures of the hottest WAGs of the NBA  (nydailynews.com)	(51)
		Mitt Romney, on Pres. Obama: "He's in Hawaii right now. We're in the cold, in the rain, in the wind because we care about America." Because fark Hawaiians  (slatest.slate.com)	(229)

		Quick thinking cashier chases down shoplifter while dressed as a giant fruit  (dailymail.co.uk)	(25)
		Indiana lawmaker introduces a bill that would force entertainers to sing the National Anthem the "right" way  (indystar.com)	(202)
		Darth Maple: World darts champion. Canadian. Star Wars fan. Single  (dailymail.co.uk)	(15)
		Close inspection of official photographs reveals North Korea's secret army of giant soldiers. Difficulty: Apparently not Photoshopped  (telegraph.co.uk)	(31)
		"____ police officers quell ___-fueled violence between ____ and ____ at birthplace of ____" Your words: christians(x2), jesus, broom, and Palestinian. Fill 'em in, still won't make sense  (news.yahoo.com)	(47)

		Mother of the Year competition sees last-minute entry, as Louisiana woman leaves her foster children outside while she plays blackjack at a casino. On Christmas Eve day  (nola.com)	(38)
		Canadian kids will no longer have to play with American toy soldiers  (cbc.ca)	(107)
		Turkey admits 35 civilian deaths. Well there was bound to be some retribution for the annual Christmas day massacre  (bbc.co.uk)	(32)
(Some Guy)		Stock photo of eye chart shown on Norwegian news show is full of win  (thelocal.no)	(43)
(News 25)		Women arrested for submitting false injury claims in Indiana State Fair stage collapse. Go to hell, go directly to hell, do not pass Go, do not collect $7,500  (news25.us)	(50)
		Russian nuclear submarine on fire. If only there were some way to douse the whole thing  (reuters.com)	(90)
(Some Guy)		President of "E" Network explains why the Kardashian family is so popular, and strangely never once uses the phrase "a Dark Pact with the Infernal Lord"  (sheknows.com)	(41)
		Some politicians fight for abortion bans, some for gay rights, some for less taxes, some for legalized marijuana. Some fight for real issues, like "a vote for me is a vote for an 'In-N-Out Burger' franchise in our town"  (blogs.denverpost.com)	(54)
		Kardashian nanny is shopping tell-all book around to publishers, promises to reveal whether there really were five lights  (tmz.com)	(25)
		Democrats are to blame for poverty in America because the Colombian government built a giant elevator in the Medellin ghetto  (americanthinker.com)	(46)
		The Onion's film critic is engaged in a Twitter war with the woman who wrote that movie where Sandra Bullock turns that fat kid into a Christian  (huffingtonpost.com)	(81)
		What will the revolution in Egyptian government mean for tourism? Well, bans on alcohol, restrictions on revealing swimwear, and beaches segregated by gender, for starters. Enjoy your vacation  (npr.org)	(102)

		"Re-electing politicians who voted for the Patriot Act and NDAA is like a flock of chickens voting for Colonel Sanders"  (nola.com)	(142)
		U.S. sends the Iranians a little message about closing the strategic Strait of Hormuz if the West imposes sanctions. The U.S. Navy's 5th Fleet  (news.yahoo.com)	(363)
		Indian billionaire can't find anyplace to invest his $3.8 billion. Drew Curtis' UFIA Highway could sure use some maintenance  (finance.yahoo.com)	(19)
		Thanks to a switcheroo that would have impressed Indiana Jones and with the help of Jimmy Stewart as a smuggler, we now know the true origin of the mummified Yeti finger  (bbc.co.uk)	(61)
		Cristiano Ronaldo prefers La Liga to EPL. Well, that does make sense, he only has to play one other good team every year in Spain  (espn.go.com)	(44)
(Great Falls Tribune)		Some Indian tribes aren't stopping at running casinos; they're also dabbling in loan sharking. Soon to be followed by hijacking Lufthansa cargo, being chased by helicopters while running guns and cooking veal cutlets  (greatfallstribune.com)	(82)
		Putin plans series of fire side chats with the Russian people because Franklin Roosevelt would never rig an election, or something  (dailymail.co.uk)	(29)
		SyFy's next original movie is Arachnoquake, a film about a series of earthquakes that unleash giant albino spiders on New Orleans. It will star Tracey Gold and Ethan Phillips and might just be the best movie ever  (huffingtonpost.com)	(86)

		Nancy Pelosi promises to continue to keep the 99% in her prayers, as she quietly checks into her $10,000 Hawaiian resort suite. That's PER NIGHT  (nation.foxnews.com)	(267)
		Long before Christian Bale was chopping up hookers or beating up the Joker, he was dancing for Pac Man cereal  (iheartchaos.com)	(56)
(goal.com)		Corinthians interested in Manchester City's Carlos Tevez, fine leather  (goal.com)	(8)
		Victoria Jackson leaves a six hour FBI meeting for washed up comedians with hours and hours of terrifying material from old Monty Python skits  (huffingtonpost.com)	(166)
		Missing Indiana girl found dead; babysitter charged. Hourly  (usatoday.com)	(104)
		Brazilian economy larger than England's. Man, that's a lot of economies  (bbc.co.uk)	(12)
		Could Maria Shriver be thinking of terminating the divorce, or does she still think Arnold is a barbarian who gave her a raw deal?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(33)
		Obama's racket: Define poverty as somewhere close to median income, independent of how 'poor' they really are. Use the government to 'fix' this injustice. Then rake in the votes and love of the beneficiaries  (americanthinker.com)	(291)
		Aunt Vivian from Fresh Prince of Bel Air says she will never be part of a reunion show with an asshole like Will Smith. And I'm sure he cries into his huge piles of money every night about that, honey  (tmz.com)	(102)
		What do you call it when someone steals money secretly? Theft. What do you call it when it happens openly by force? Robbery. And if a politician takes takes it in taxes and gives it to someone who is more likely to vote for him? Social Justice  (townhall.com)	(76)

		ESPN host who referred to the WNBA's LA Sparks & Phoenix Mercurys as the "LA Lesbians" & "Phoenix Dyke-ury" goes into "Was That Wrong?" mode  (mediabistro.com)	(68)
		Giant shrimp invade Gulf of Mexico and OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE (w/pic)  (chron.com)	(157)
		"Nigerian Taliban" church bombings kill dozens  (cbsnews.com)	(197)

		Admit it. You have lots of questions about Christianity, but none more burning than whether or not Jesus had an in-style hairdo  (slate.com)	(108)
		Lando Calrissian on a bottle of Colt 45. Helloooooooo, what have we here?  (neatorama.com)	(17)
		The latest White House controversy? Where is Bo? Still no cure for politicians  (latimes.com)	(61)
		Will the Seahawks troll their way to victory over the 49ers? How badly will the Bills lose to the Teebuses? Will the Cowboys and Giants wind up tied for first in the NFC East? It's the NFL Week 16 thread, games start at 1 PM on CBS and Fox  (scores.espn.go.com)	(2127)
		15 ugly-ass Dalmatian puppies born in one litter. Cruella De Vil spotted around the corner  (thesun.co.uk)	(21)
		As if he had to remind everyone that he's a badass, Santa Claus pulls a man from a burning car THEN directs traffic around the flames to help keep passing motorists and pedestrians out of harm's way  (abcnews.go.com)	(18)
		Displaced hoser tries to discern meaning of Canadian Christmas by listening to 12 straight hours of Canadian artists' greatest holiday albums and songs. "Why didn't anyone prepare me for how awful Rita MacNeil is?"  (avclub.com)	(40)

		In the worst tragedy on American soil since 9/11, vegetarian's life completely ruined because some stoned teenage windowlicker wouldn't make her a veggie sub. 10 years from now, we'll all remember where we were when we read this  (consumerist.com)	(192)
		Indiana's GOP Secretary of State finally reveals undisputed case of voter fraud  (dailykos.com)	(61)
		Kris Humphries writing tell-all about Kim Kardashian. I'm sure it will be a very scathing five-word exposé  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(59)
		Precambrian fossils, once thought to be embryos, reinterpreted as... omelettes, I guess  (arstechnica.com)	(8)
(The Province)		If you're printing $1 million of fake Canadian $100 bills, try and get the security thread correct and the picture a bit less like Arturo Toscanini  (theprovince.com)	(19)

(Some Guy)		Sometimes a renter will take appliances or whatnot when he moves out in a huff. Other times he may take his landlord's underage daughter  (ksl.com)	(52)
(Some Guy)		The gay and lesbian community of Minnesota apologize for forcing Amy Koch to have an affair and threatening "the institution of marriage"   (ontd-political.livejournal.com)	(151)
		Experts say high prices for low quality are keeping people from buying tickets at box office. Researchers still puzzled how Indianapolis Colts keep playing to a full house  (foxnews.com)	(46)
		Sure, North Korea may be a totalitarian communist regime with nuclear ambitions and a population that's starving, but MAN they can dubstep  (youtube.com)	(30)
		Julianne Moore gives the best impersonation of Sarah Palin by an actress from 30 Rock since Tina Fey. Hands down  (shortlist.com)	(103)
		Lesbian vampire killer set to walk free after 20 years. Doesn't know about Twilight yet  (dailymail.co.uk)	(44)
		Tim Minchin and Professor Brian Cox team up to sing a modern Christmas carol. That sound you hear is the sound of thousands of farkettes falling in love, and thousands more farkers suddenly doubting their sexuality  (youtube.com)	(26)
		I'm not saying it was aliens who created this ten-thousand-year-old obsidian bracelet with micrometer precision...but it was aliens  (physorg.com)	(94)

(Motherboard.tv)		The virtusphere is part giant hamster ball, part virtual reality gaming experience and all genius  (motherboard.vice.com)	(11)
		Like an al Qaedian Tupac Shakur, Awlaki releases some new posthumous material  (reuters.com)	(10)
		Get ready for Avian Flu XXII: The Oh-Farkening  (dailymail.co.uk)	(54)
		Newt Gingrich's attack on the judicial system is a canny attempt to gain support from Dominionists who want to overturn the US political system and replace it with a Christian theocracy   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(101)
		Even though we already have chili peppers hot enough to make Conan the Barbarian cry for his mommy, some dangerously insane madmen and still trying to make them even hotter  (physorg.com)	(13)
		China says that Christian Bale should be embarrassed. So they saw Newsies too?  (msnbc.msn.com)	(41)
		An Iranian diplomat who saved thousands of Jews in Nazi-occupied Paris died in poverty and obscurity thirty years ago. Finally his story is being told. "There is no distinction 'I am Muslim, he is Jew' or whatever"  (bbc.co.uk)	(57)

		Is Christianity now the new radical Islam?  (examiner.com)	(451)
		You know that billboard with the picture of George W. Bush that says "Miss me yet?" Well, the Syrian protesters have an answer  (weeklystandard.com)	(231)
		Merrill Lynch says Canadian real estate market is in a bubble and prices could plunge 5% to 10% over the next year. Hmm, actually, -10% returns are pretty good in this economy  (theglobeandmail.com)	(37)
(News-Leader)		Fancy deer invade Ozarks courthouse for some caroling and piano time  (news-leader.com)	(18)
(ok magazine)		Still wondering what Kim Kardashian did with her wedding gifts? Well, she played Mother Theresa ... to her family  (okmagazine.com)	(32)
		Jennifer Aniston says she was a goth in her youth. I thought that was just the normal look in the Victorian Era  (blog.seattlepi.com)	(113)
		Louisiana Walmart introduces handicap scooter bumper car competition to spice up the early-morning hours at the store  (thesmokinggun.com)	(29)

(Some Guy)		Giant playable video pinball game projected onto the front of a building. Who wouldn't like to see their video game failures projected several stories tall?  (ubergizmo.com)	(15)
		From "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" to "The Star Wars Holiday Special" it's time to celebrate the worst of Christmas  (chron.com)	(64)
		Santa's a Canadian. Bet you didn't know that, eh  (youtube.com)	(17)

		Egyptian soldiers, having run out of men to fight with, are now beating helpless women in the streets  (dailymail.co.uk)	(161)
		All teams who have defeated the Indianapolis Colts take a step forward. Not so fast, Tennessee Titans  (sports.yahoo.com)	(53)

		Russian Icebreaker saw your hippie-ass bumper sticker and decides to actually do something about it  (news.discovery.com)	(81)
		Fruitarian: "I only eat fruit, seeds and nuts"  (thesun.co.uk)	(292)

		All states which can confirm with 100% accuracy that there is no brain-eating bacteria in their tap water, please step forward. Not so fast, Louisiana  (rawstory.com)	(105)
		5'10'' Division III white collegian who became YouTube sensation for his mind-boggling dunks signs contract with Harlem Globetrotters, hoping to attract fans who like a little vanilla in their jam. Duke sucks  (sports.yahoo.com)	(19)
		Today's family-values-conservative politician caught using public money for gay porn brought to you by Mississippi  (huffingtonpost.com)	(91)
		Eight of the world's largest banks downgraded from super giant to piggy  (edition.cnn.com)	(15)
		Security guards try to stop Christian Bale from visiting blind Chinese activist under house arrest, fail to recognize him as the Goddamned Batman  (mirror.co.uk)	(48)
		As everyone else in Hollywood slams the Kardashians (in both meanings of the word), Clint Eastwood actually decides to join them  (shortlist.com)	(38)

		Breaking: DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano just cut Sheriff Joe Arpaio's access to ICE programs. Hmmm... Napolitano... What is that, Italian? Mexican? May I see your papers, please?   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(198)
		New study conducted by Andre the Giant and Paul Reiser shows Americans are using the internet more, but trusting information on it less  (abc2news.com)	(98)
		Police defy order to release black box data from politician's wrecked car, saying public would be misled by facts  (bostonherald.com)	(160)
(Some Guy)		New York Rabbi: A Tim Tebow win will cause Christians to burn mosques, bash gays  (hoosieraccess.com)	(132)
		Bahbwah to the Kardashians: "You don't sing, you don't dance, you don't act. Forgive me, but you don't have any talent"  (content.usatoday.com)	(172)
		Not impressive: a cover of War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Impressive: On a piano  (youtube.com)	(39)

(wane.com)		Indiana councilman apologizes to mentally handicapped community for insultingly comparing them to the GOP  (wane.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		Khloe Kardashian gets love from Lamar Odom's new Dallas coach. Pray to God there is no sex tape  (wtkr.com)	(38)
		Large testicled Canadian cop wrestles with bear, wins  (liveleak.com)	(32)
		Pearl Harbor veterans do what WWII vets do when some mamby pamby actors on some mamby pamby Hawaian Five Oh show decides to mamby pamby film during their solemn Pearl Harbor rememberance ceremony. Bunch of jack wagon actors  (mediaite.com)	(162)
		When congratulating the female news anchor about an Indiana victory, there's a world of difference between her Hoosiers and her Hooters  (break.com)	(16)
		Russian navy arrives off the coast of Scotland, possibly with questions over whether Loch Ness Monster is displaying enough enthusiasm for Vladimir Putin's re-election  (news.stv.tv)	(29)
		Train conductor channels Silent Bob/Indiana Jones. NO TICKET (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(54)

		Week 15 power rankings with a NEW #1 TEAM No, not really, but #3 changed and the Cowboys took a Giant fall  (espn.go.com)	(277)
		Member of the Iranian parliament: If the world wants to make the region insecure, we will make the world insecure." So we'll start by playing this little game of closing the Straits of Hormuz  (scotsman.com)	(118)
		But really, who among us hasn't accidentally killed his prostitute fiancee during a meth and bondage party, then driven cross-country with her corpse in his truck before burning it all?  (washingtonpost.com)	(163)
		Giant egg resurrected to terrorize another generation of children  (nytimes.com)	(46)

		New Jersey Nets owner to run against Pooty-Poot for Russian Presidency. Expected to come down with a sudden case of Outspokeness with a side order of Polonium  (marketwatch.com)	(35)
		Iranians becoming more like Americans every day; they're threatening to sue the US over the drone that went down in their territory  (bbc.co.uk)	(101)
		Photoshop this Russian reading  (inapcache.boston.com)	(25)
		WND paid to have a plane fly over last night's Cowboys/Giants game with a banner reading "WHERE'S THE REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE?" This probably would've had a greater effect if it wasn't a domed stadium (with pic)  (wnd.com)	(149)
		Anti-gay Alabama GOPer gets it up for lesbians down under   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(94)
		Brian Urlacher after the game: "He's a good running back"  (sports.yahoo.com)	(204)
		Christian evangelist climate change scientist doesn't believe in global warming... because "belief" is faith in things not supported by facts  (miamiherald.com)	(410)
		Russian President orders election investigation to find nothing wrong  (canada.com)	(17)

(inquisitr)		The Inquisitr recognizes FARK as one of the sites that has followed the outrageous antics of comedian Louis CK (1st paragraph)  (inquisitr.com)	(1)
		Probably the coolest illusion done with Christmas lights that you'll see this year. Bonus: No Trans-Siberian or computer synchronized lights  (liveleak.com)	(40)
		Will the Colts pick up their first win of the season? Can the Bears maul Teebus? Will the Giants defeat the Cowboys to tie up the NFC East? It's the NFL Week 14 thread (games start at 1 PM ET on CBS and Fox)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)

		Ke$ha covers Bob Dylan's 'Don't Think Twice, It's Alright.' Pink Floyd, KISS and Peter Gabriel producer bob Ezrin: "It's a brilliant performance. It's so good" (w/ vid)  (rollingstone.com)	(55)
		Reports are that 4 children were gunned down on Syrian streets. Hold on Tom, we're getting word that Angelina Jolie and her father, Jon Voight have now reconciled before the world's media  (telegraph.co.uk)	(46)
		Russian opposition parties get robocalls chanting "Putin is life; Putin is the light; love Putin and your life will have meaning; Putin will give you happiness; Putin will open your eyes." Romney aides start taking notes furiously  (sfgate.com)	(71)

		Gingrich says that the Palestinians are an "invented" people and have no right to a state of their own  (washingtonpost.com)	(386)
(Some Guy)		Californians have apparently been storing a 700-lbs WWII bomb on a tank of diesel fuel for 70 years. Bonus: Next to Oakland International Airport  (ktvu.com)	(81)

		Maryland high school English teacher and Joey Tribbiani look-alike arrested for banging three 15- and 16-year-old girls. WHOA  (washingtonpost.com)	(129)
(RTV6)		Colts owner Jim Irsay sees no reason to string along Indianapolis fans any longer, admits Manning probably won't play in 2011  (theindychannel.com)	(103)
		Evangelical priest in Iowa sending out a new video in which he calls Newt Gingrich the "Kim Kardashian of the GOP"  (caucuses.desmoinesregister.com)	(106)
		Gorgeous solar system eye candy. Come for the giant Saturn storm, stay for the lumpy, psychedelic Earth  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(5)

		Syrian president says only "crazy presidents" kill their own citizens, is crazy  (chicagotribune.com)	(44)
		Hubert Sumlin, electric blues guitar giant who influenced Richards, Clapton, Page and Hendrix, reaches the double bar line  (nydailynews.com)	(28)

(Pundit Kitchen)		Problem: people stealing hammers meant for breaking glass in the event of an accident. Solution: the buses in Heilongjiang, China are now equipped with emergency bricks  (news.icanhascheezburger.com)	(28)
		How to marry your hideous argonian booty-call in Skyrim. You sick, sick lizard lover  (g4tv.com)	(192)
		Master jazz pianist Dave Brubeck turns 91 today. Here he is playing his most famous piece, Take Five, 50 years ago  (youtube.com)	(79)
		Hillary Clinton says that Russian elections were rigged, suggests they try using Diebold voting machines next time  (huffingtonpost.com)	(24)
		Most politicians would respond to Pelosi's "thousand pages of dirt" claim with a simple denial." Newt Gingrich, however, immediately validates it by suggesting he'll "file charges" if she talks  (rawstory.com)	(277)

		Silly Americans, Marmite is meant to be spread thinly on buttered toast, not shellacked on dry bread  (npr.org)	(165)
		Maybe the reason the Russian Mars probe wasn't designed well for space travel is that it wasn't actually designed for space travel  (blog.trutv.com)	(53)
		Syria "would like" to stop killing civilians but it's just so hard to quit  (news.yahoo.com)	(51)
		Turtle escapes NYC wildlife center, beats Giants secondary for a 39-yard gain  (nytimes.com)	(17)
(Some Guy)		We're not saying Australians talk funny, but Xbox just created a voice-recognition device that will allow it to understand the Australian accent  (heraldsun.com.au)	(49)
		England won't be leaking Julian Assange to Sweden just yet  (news.com.au)	(25)

		Kourtney Kardashian in bitter Twitter feud with 'Teen Mom' star. This is what our culture has fallen to, people. Weep for America  (content.usatoday.com)	(63)
		Why we need Newt as president according to.....Ariana Huffington. Courtesy of 1995  (weeklystandard.com)	(51)
		Giant pandas en route to Scotland. EVERYBODY PANIC  (upi.com)	(31)
		Iranian military photoshops out U.S. drone  (news.yahoo.com)	(260)
		Ukrainian dog learns to fetch vodka. Now that's the spirit  (youtube.com)	(3)
		Musician forms amazing patterns with vibrating sand. Be aware that the video often gets a little grainy  (liveleak.com)	(30)
		They Might Be Giants release new electronic version of "Istanbul" (w/ video). Why they changed it I can't say, I guess they just liked it better this way  (tampabay.com)	(79)

(Some American Girl)		Asians' college strategy: Don't check 'Asian'  (centredaily.com)	(307)
		Johnny Depp has managed to piss off Christians with his new Christmas song. That's pretty hard to do  (torontosun.com)	(87)
		Right wing Christians accuse Happy Feet Two of "pushing a sinister liberal agenda" about gay marriage and adoption   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(97)
		Championship weekend is upon us. From Atlanta to Charlotte to Indianapolis, it's a Saturday of college football with enough games to make everyone forget how the BCS has killed the entire sport  (espn.go.com)	(2382)
		Ukelele player Bill Tapia, world's oldest performing musician, leid to rest at 103  (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(15)

		European Space Agency gives up on Russian Mars probe, doesn't give a Phobos grunt  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(22)
		UConn fans asked to recite Pledge of Allegiance before games, though some commie students have a problem with that; want to change mascot name to Ruskies  (espn.go.com)	(36)
		Ukrainian Protestors Go Topless to Protest Who Cares  (foxnews.com)	(109)
		Russian PM Vladimir Putin to face pig named Nakh-Nakh in Parliamentary election  (news.yahoo.com)	(37)
		Why blog for the Huffington Post for free when you can pay five grand for the privilege of fetching Arianna's coffee?  (forbes.com)	(36)
		Because after passing out from 16 hours of gaming, who DOESN'T want to be woken up by a 6-foot rabbit covered in blood and holding a giant carrot?  (youtube.com)	(37)
		Mitt Romney calls Newt Gingrich a 'life-long politician'. In other news, Romney continues to be a lifelong presidential candidate  (content.usatoday.com)	(13)
		REMINDER: Michiana Fark Party @ Lakeshore Grill in Elkhart TOMORROW  (fark.com)	(15)
(Some Guy)		Jawalrus Russell rumored to be trying out for the Bucs. The Louisiana Swachbucklers that is  (americanpress.com)	(25)
		Kim Kardashian placed on Australian immigration watch list after introducing foreign species "Khloe Kardashian" to the ecosystem  (starpulse.com)	(13)
		Italy and Greece duke it out for the coveted "So Bad We Make American Politicians Look Honest" award  (businessweek.com)	(7)
		Topless cereal eating, nude piano playing and a stay in a psychiatric ward. Yup - it's the latest Lady Gaga music video (sfw)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(73)
		Canadian professor who hasn't lived in Italy for 28 years surprised when newspapers start reporting he's the country's new agriculture minister  (theglobeandmail.com)	(17)
		Cool: Telegraph obit of WWII vet with the usual giant clanking British steel balls. Bonus: "Leading his company in a dawn raid, he surprised the local mayor, who was sharing his bed with several attractive companions"  (telegraph.co.uk)	(32)
		Red Sox fans react to the hiring of "the first Eye-talian managah" by hitting the local airwaves. Cahl Crawwfid, you've been warned  (sportsgrid.com)	(38)
		Police say they've shut down a magic mushroom grow-op based on the cash, spores, mason jars, flying monkeys, talking grandfather clocks, giant bejeweled eels, answers to the Ancients' riddles, and cosmic waterfalls they confiscated  (courant.com)	(37)
		Saudi Arabian religious council says that allowing women drivers would be the end of virginity. I think they misunderstand the purpose of the stick shift  (telegraph.co.uk)	(84)
		In a sure sign of Barbara Walters' future battles with dementia, the Kardashians make her list of the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011  (news.yahoo.com)	(32)

		Latinos demand investigation in death of border agent Brian Terry. Claim misinformation was used to get people all riled up about illegal immigration  (examiner.com)	(149)
		Being a gay Iranian immigrant in Canada is supposed to be easier than being gay in Iran, that is, if they had gays in Iran  (canada.com)	(72)
		The world's biggest insect is so freaking huge it can eat a carrot. Sleep tight. Don't let the giant weta bite  (gizmodo.com)	(123)
		Obsidian to develop South Park RPG. Pundits can't decide whether the game will be more immature or premature  (kotaku.com)	(75)
		One woman, 15 children by 5 babydaddys, fiancée in jail and "somebody needs to pay for ALL my chilren"  (youtube.com)	(309)
		Median income continues to plummet in real terms. Eeeeeexcellent  (guardian.co.uk)	(22)
		Australian Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd said in an interview that he backed the creation of a trilateral security deal and that the response from the Indian government had been "positive." India: Uhhh WTF are you talking about?  (reuters.com)	(8)
		Police officer and department office manager attempt to get rid of budget-slashing city official using Santerian birdseed ritual, are instead turned in by their accomplice the janitor. Can you guess the state without looking at the tag?  (miamiherald.com)	(13)
		"After careful consideration, I withdraw my statements comparing annexing farmland for power lines to killing millions of Ukrainians"  (canada.com)	(16)
		"OMG These are NUBIAN" ... What's a Nubian?  (news.yahoo.com)	(32)
		Completing transition from "hot jogger chick with sledgehammer" to "bespectacled Orwellian overlord," Apple is expected to become the world's top PC maker in 2012  (macworld.com)	(88)
		In the 1930s, everyone was worried about giant robots killing everyone  (slate.com)	(56)
		If Toyota's new Fun-Vii concept car comes to fruition, your car of the future will be mostly a giant rolling iPhone  (iheartchaos.com)	(59)

		Can 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' unite Israel and Palestinian leaders? Of course not, but the article features amusing clip from the show  (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com)	(28)
		President Obama has a secret iPad, which holds our top secret plan to take the Bay of Pigs with angry avian creatures   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(54)
		Smithsonian Museum of African American History acquires KKK robes, but has not said where they'll hang  (myfoxdc.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Strange Lovecraftian restaurant opens in secretive town occupied by psychics... guess where  (dieselpunks.org)	(54)
		Kate Middleton is pregnant with a bloodthirsty Dracula Antichrist reptilian cannibal, if all the rumors in this slideshow are true  (trutv.com)	(60)
(Some New Guy)		Obama needs to rebrand himself. But not like the "New Coke," more like Kim Kardashian  (usnews.com)	(42)
		The mayor of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada hires a Senior Military Advisor, plans invasion of other Canadian cities you've never heard of  (thespec.com)	(44)
		I'm not saying it's Allianz, but Allianz  (marketwatch.com)	(2)
		Daniel Craig says the Kardashians are 'f***ing idiots' for making careers out of their private lives. In future news, Fox announces new reality show "I used to be James Bond"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(81)
(Some Guy)		One day you're Orlando's Sexiest Man of 2007 and the next you're the prime suspect in the disappearance of your ex-fiance. Oh how the mighty have fallen (Warning: Mighty Man Pics)  (xl1067.com)	(29)
		According to the Seattle Times, Fark's Indianapolis Colts headline is a winner. If only the Colts could be so lucky (3rd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(1)
		Here's a headline you weren't expecting to read today: RCMP gave potato farmer's financial details to Algerians  (cbc.ca)	(21)
		Luckily this albino giant carnivorous snail is easier to see as it slithers across your bedroom ceiling, before it drops on your face  (stuff.co.nz)	(20)

		Survey lists world's Top 10 cities in terms of "Quality of Living." Zero in the U.S., 1 in America Jr., 1 in Australia's own Canada, 1 where they make porn, and 7 in places where they talk like the villians in old WWII movies  (shine.yahoo.com)	(274)
		Golden opportunity for more Iranian Photoshop fail, as missile site sustains an "accident"  (foxnews.com)	(27)
(Some puzzled rescuers)		"We saw two men, who were Iranians, drowning in the sea. We took them on our boat and battled the sea 45 minutes until we reached land. They hugged and kissed us, but when we told them we were Israelis, they got up and ran away"  (ynetnews.com)	(88)
		Oddly enough, the ol' "Call colleges your daughter is applying to, pretend to be a concerned nurse, and warn them that a rival girl applying for acceptance is a lesbian with an untreated STD" strategy somehow backfired  (stuff.co.nz)	(19)
		Indiana college students use $45K grant to heat water using the sun. Grad students unimpressed, continue banging rocks together to make fire  (wishtv.com)	(28)
		Iranians storm British embassy, but are only able to find a bunch of guys with Canadian passports  (cbc.ca)	(136)
		RON PAUL pretends to be a friendly Libertarian, but in truth RON PAUL is a true supporter of the rich. That's right, RON PAUL only cares about the rich. But does anyone think he's got a snowball's chance in hell of winning? No  (salon.com)	(292)
(Some Guy)		Mike Tyson Sings "The Girl From Ipanema" on a Brazilian TV Show - and does it pretty damn well  (complex.com)	(59)
		Will any giants be slain? How will Man City and Liverpool deal with two days rest? Two massive fixtures highlight your Carling Cup thread, with Arsenal v Man City & Chelsea v Liverpool  (msn.foxsports.com)	(97)
		You know that whole military not being able to arrest civilians thing? What about the laws against indefinite detention? Sen McCain and Sen Levin are trying to change that  (dailykos.com)	(254)

		The New Orleans Saints vs. the New York Giants. Who Dat? vs. What The Fark Are You Lookin' At? Monday Night Football, right here (8:30 PM ET, ESPN)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		"Where are the great movies?" asks the director of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull  (telegraph.co.uk)	(186)
		Within four weeks, it will be a crime to manufacture a 100-watt version of Thomas A. Edison's brilliant invention. Thanks Obama ....wait, it was Bush?  (washingtontimes.com)	(248)
		Who would you vote for in today's Egyptian elections, based on the candidates' logos? It's got to be flowery space shuttle man  (shortlist.com)	(54)

		Muslim students join Christians to shun evolution because it conflicts with their big book of fairy tales  (dailymail.co.uk)	(425)
		Hot Australian author encourages infidelity to keep relationships healthy and happy. Many dismiss it as a silly, counterclockwise theory  (news.com.au)	(118)
		Down goes #1 UNC to the Runnin' Rebels. Jerry Tarkanian sucking on smiley towel  (scores.espn.go.com)	(19)
		Australian Marriage Equality ad makes things a little dusty around here  (youtube.com)	(71)

		Christian Bale: "This will be my last Batman movie." Well what he actually said was "GRRR GRRR GrrrGrr" but you know what he means  (dailymail.co.uk)	(108)
(Offbeat)		Louisiana hoodoo bluesman Coco Robicheaux crosses over to the spirit land  (offbeat.com)	(28)
		Ginger-colored seal pup rejected by family, now center of attention at Russian zoo (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(56)
		How The Monarch migrates: In a giant floating cocoon surrounded by henchmen   (blogs.scientificamerican.com)	(47)
		Stranded Russian Mars probe falls silent. This is a repeat, tovarisch  (news.discovery.com)	(38)
		That classic "mahna mahna" song has its roots in Italian porn. Porn... is there anything it can't do?  (slate.com)	(58)

(Simcoe.com)		That's one giant swing- over 300 parts, close to 5,000 screws, two cases of industrial glue, and it even has its own facebook page  (simcoe.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)		Mayor of major American city tweets his support for marijuana legalization. Oh, wait. Did I say, 'American?' I meant to say 'Canadian'  (vancouversun.com)	(72)
		Before you go all "ZOMG HAX THE RUSSIANZ R COMING," check to make sure you don't have a plant employee logging in remotely while on a trip abroad  (washingtonpost.com)	(31)
		Pedestrian killed by SUV in Tip O'Neill Tunnel. Amazingly, he wasn't hit by a Ford  (boston.com)	(17)
		After squeezing out 13 kids, huge mom has giant baby and names it "Jihad"  (thelocal.de)	(131)
		Victorian man dies in industrial accident. This is not a repeat from 1877  (news.com.au)	(18)
		Rudderless Dutch man in a boat rescued by Brazilian seamen  (foxnews.com)	(40)
(Free Lance News)		Unknown candidate drives giant-ass bus into unknown town  (freelancenews.com)	(55)
		Historian Douglas Brinkley issues a verbal beatdown to uppity Congressman. Now with "shocked and awed" aide photo goodness  (nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com)	(215)

		"Giant penis mystery baffles Stockholm suburb"  (thelocal.se)	(49)
		Brian Eno composed Windows 95 chime on a Mac. Basically no need to click the link, that's the story. Okay bye-bye  (shortlist.com)	(87)

		Lego Freddie Mercury is more awesome than most living musicians  (neatorama.com)	(20)
(Some Guy)		Nothing to worry about, really; just a possible giant meteorite impact tomorrow  (disclose.tv)	(44)
		Brian Ching : "I'd rather retire than play for Montreal if I'm selected by them in the expansion draft" Montreal : "With the first pick of the expansion draft, we select Brian Ching"  (chron.com)	(77)
(CFRA)		Occupy Ottawa demonstration broken up by Canadian police in unspeakable orgy of violence: Eight people received tickets, one was helped to hospital and three others had their feelings temporarily hurt  (cfra.com)	(167)
		The "mystery" of who authored the Dead Sea Scrolls may have finally been solved. Hint: it's who every scholar and historian who's ever looked at them thought it was  (foxnews.com)	(56)
(Some Guy)		Small town Indiana school tries to hold an "International Day of Tolerance". Guess how that turned out  (indianasnewscenter.com)	(176)
		Even The Sun can't write that a 19-year-old's giant dong helps him score with the ladies, so they attribute it to his freakishly large feet  (thesun.co.uk)	(144)
		Lost Russian probe phones Australia, reverses charges  (news.discovery.com)	(29)

		The Huffington Post raises its glass to Fark for bringing their attention to a drunk Russian diplomat  (huffingtonpost.com)	(1)
		Kris Humphries suing Kim Kardashian for $10 million. That's a lot of anal bleaching  (starpulse.com)	(39)
		Feds seize fisherman's 881-pound tuna. Now who's going to fix his piano?  (thebostonchannel.com)	(126)
		Russian news anchor rotates an avian creature though more than 90 degrees on live TV (BONUS: Looks like she is a NASCAR fan)  (youtube.com)	(57)
		Iowa's ultra-conservative, ultra-Christian group Family Leader says it will nominate either Perry, Santorum, Gingrich, or Bachmann  (qctimes.com)	(412)
		Romney hits Obama in new campaign ad...which completely misquotes Obama. Wait...a dishonest politician? Shut the front door  (upi.com)	(76)
		Russian space capsule lands in Kazakhstan. Very nice, high five  (time.com)	(13)
(Some WV Guy)		MTV: How about a new reality show where we follow young people through the woods with high powered rifles? BRILLIANT  (wvgazette.com)	(51)
(The Local Switzerland)		If you see a balding, toothy gentleman sniffing a gay couple for kicks, have no fear, it's probably just a confused Swiss politician  (thelocal.ch)	(14)
		"Why is it so hard to go to Mars?" I would like to have a serious discussion about that, but right now the Kardashians are on, followed by Dancing with the Stars  (space.com)	(89)

		Republicans plan to nullify the courts and establish Christian theocracy. Here's how they want to do it  (slate.com)	(243)
		Brazilian soccer player scores, attempts South American version of the Lambeau Leap, eats bush  (youtube.com)	(8)
(Some Guy)		Dozens of Israeli women strip naked in support of nude Egyptian blogger. At last a movement Farkers can get on top of, er, behind (Probably NSFW)  (ynetnews.com)	(473)
		Statisticians can prove almost anything. 68% of all people already knew that  (news.nationalpost.com)	(53)

		Alaska temperatures fall to record -41 below zero. Yukon check the weather map, it's not an Aleutian  (washingtonpost.com)	(138)
		Riccardo Patrese, the ironman of F1, takes his wife out for a little spin. On the track. Hilarity, shrieking. and Italian curses does indeed ensue  (liveleak.com)	(17)

		This is why you never perform Men at Work's "Down Under" in an Australian karaoke bar  (news.com.au)	(106)
		Giant mound of tires in SC visible from space  (news.yahoo.com)	(123)
		You'll take our mighty Canadian sausage America. You'll take it and you'll like it  (thestar.com)	(56)

		Mongolia to cool capital city with giant ice cube. This sounds suspiciously like a scheme by a James Bond villain  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(37)
		Female Egyptian blogger posts full-frontal nude picture of herself on Belgium snipe hooligan BIE globe rush toys fig announcement beagle radish farmhand door  (dailymail.co.uk)	(202)
		Kim Kardashian plans huge Christmas bash to take her mind off the fact that she's a talentless, vapid, annoying ho-ho-ho  (showbizspy.com)	(34)
		Vegetarian's tips for how you should adapt your Thanksgiving meal to their diet  (mnn.com)	(520)
		Day care teacher pierces child's ears after obtaining permission from: a) the parents, b) the legal guardian, or c) the five-year-old  (star-telegram.com)	(46)
		If you're a county commissioner who likes to post anonymously online about how much you hate gays and fluoridated water, don't expect your fellow politicians to help you out when you're identified  (tampabay.com)	(53)
		Fiance of fallen Marine trades in wedding whites for camo green. "I'm going to finish what he started"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(222)
(Some Guy)		Canadian univeristy's marching band suspended for pamphlets with titles like "Mouth raping your little sister since 1905"  (queensjournal.ca)	(65)
		Woman has been fighting to clear her fiancee's name. He's just shown police where he buried the body of his wife. Awkward  (bbc.co.uk)	(73)
		New Line Cinema to bring giant monster arcade game "Rampage" to the silver screen. Can a "Bad Dudes" movie be far behind?  (comingsoon.net)	(83)

		How the Giants can beat the Eagles. That's funny, I don't see "show up to stadium" anywhere in the article  (bleacherreport.com)	(17)
		Politician wants you to know he doesn't give a fark what you think  (cbc.ca)	(31)
		Tyler Perry says that Tyler Perry casting Kim Kardashian in a Tyler Perry movie about marriage was a really good idea by Tyler Perry  (news.yahoo.com)	(36)
		Some people think its stupid to swim in piranha infested waters. Then there are the toeless Brazilians  (msnbc.msn.com)	(54)
		Michiana (Michigan-Indiana area) Fark Party @ Lakeshore Grill in Elkhart  (fark.com)	(25)

(PJ Media)		7/10 of the richest politicians are Democrats. He's on there. She's on there. Oh and him too  (pjmedia.com)	(214)
(pro football talk)		Peyton Manning denies rumors that he'll be the next coach at University of Mississippi. "Just tell them that I'm 0-10 as an assistant for Indianapolis"   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(97)
		F/T, competitive pay, benefits, frequent travel may be required, bachelor's degree a must, blood pressure under 140/90, between 62 and 75 inches tall, must speak Russian, fax resume cover letter ATT: NASA  (myfoxdc.com)	(120)
		Newt, on his $1.8M Freddie Mac payday: Um... I have no idea, really. I've got many clients. Let me think... Freddie Mac... black comedian, right?   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(139)
		"No More Kardashian" petition demands that E Online stop giving the Kardashians so much air time. Kardashians respond with Chewbacca defense  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(66)
		NBC makes another brilliant move, stops production on Prime Suspect  (insidetv.ew.com)	(50)
		Syrian army defectors attack major military base and intelligence building near Damascus  (bbc.co.uk)	(147)

		Country & western musician and noted health industry expert Collin Raye weighs in on health reform law  (mediamatters.org)	(36)
		Jane Lynch finally meets her crush: "Like every closeted lesbian in the 1970s, I had a crush on Ron Howard"  (starpulse.com)	(65)
(I_C_Weener)		Indianapolis Fark Party, at Frontpage Sportsbar on Friday, December 2d, 8:00pm until ???? No truth to the rumor that we will have a Drew look alike contest since the last one was won by a woman. LGT site  (frontpagesportsbar.com)	(26)
		Hillary Clinton gets a nice Hawaiian surprise (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(76)
		Russian historian caught with 29 female corpses dressed as dolls in his apartment. That's Psycho  (cnn.com)	(71)
(Some Guy)		In Louisiana, getting drunk before a LSU game is normal ... but not if you are a coach for the other team  (thenewsstar.com)	(20)

		Most terrifying Russian invention since the ICBM  (foxnews.com)	(148)
(Some Guy)		Tornado Watch issued for the Indianapolis region. Citizens are urged to seek shelter in Lucas Oil Stadium, where there is no chance of a touchdown  (theindychannel.com)	(107)
		Kim Kardashian thanks shallow idiots for supporting her, vows to blog more to prolong our long national nightmare  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(18)
		Republican TV ad:"How come we haven't heard of Jon Huntsman?" Wild guess: Maybe because he's an actual politician and not some semieducated crazy zealot?  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(112)
		Whovians: Are You Ready For A RE-BOOT?  (variety.com)	(162)
		Michael Buble has some heartfelt words for Kim Kardashian: "That biatch ain't coming on my stage"  (contactmusic.com)	(45)
		Harrison Ford talks about next Indiana Jones film: "I'm available, I'm not cheap, but I'm available." If that doesn't instill you with confidence, I don't know WHAT would  (showbizspy.com)	(62)
		Coincidentally, the Iranian arms chief spontaneously detonates. Coincidentally  (smh.com.au)	(72)
		Russian economy probably quickened. THERE CAN BE ONLY один  (bloomberg.com)	(19)
		Indianapolis Colts fans, after seeing the 2009 team throw away a chance for a perfect season, may finally get their wish for 16 in a row  (indystar.com)	(58)
		Hair removal company claims Kim Kardashian is lying about how she keeps her body free of hair, insisting the product she claims she uses all over her body, TRIA, is not safe for the "face, ears, or anus"  (tmz.com)	(67)

		Alex Trebek tapped to form new Italian government  (nytimes.com)	(23)
(NFL)		The Texans Brian Cushing goes full psycho, gets head-butted without his helmet. "My face feels like D-Day"  (nfl.com)	(37)
		Brazilian police take over Rio's biggest slum. Must be one really big ass place  (news.yahoo.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)		Politician tells veterans group about getting injured in Iraq. And by "Iraq", he means the USA, and the "injury" was caused by hitting a cow with his car  (tuscolatoday.com)	(28)
		Son of conservative Iranian cleric critical of Ahmadinejad found dead of an apparent suicide in Dubai. The fact that he handcuffed himself, then shot four bullets in the back of his own head makes it really apparent he wanted to kill himself  (salon.com)	(52)
(Some Guy)		Kim Kardashian suing the man that called her wedding a sham. In other news, subby wonders if there has even been a class action collection of defendants before  (celebs.gather.com)	(48)
		Evelyn Lauder, who created the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon and raised $330 million for research, dies of ovarian cancer. I has a sad  (msnbc.msn.com)	(151)
		After being strip searched and photographed nude by Australian custom officials, socialite is told all photos and video will be destroyed after one year  (news.com.au)	(75)
(Some Guy)		Sebastian Vettel ties Nigel Mansell's record for taking 14 poles in a single season, is hoping to smoke 'em at the start and show everyone else his rear end all day. Abu Dhabi Grand Prix live at 7:30 AM ET  (formula-one.speedtv.com)	(12)

		Avatar star Zoe Saldana says "NA'VI AGAIN" to longtime fiance  (people.com)	(38)
		Siri is only six years old. Keep that in mind the next time you ask your iPhone where you can score some Asian tranny midget hookers in Cleveland  (pcworld.com)	(32)
		A giant planet may have been kicked out of our solar system. Man, first Pluto, and now this? These astronomers really are going too far  (cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com)	(25)
		Good: Danica McKellar is returning to TV. Bad: in a made-for-TV movie. Worse: It's a horror film called Tasmanian Devil. Fail: It's a SyFy Channel original movie  (huffingtonpost.com)	(76)

(Some Guy)		Ann Arbor pedestrian ordinance is about what you expect from a bunch of clueless liberal nutjobs  (annarbor.com)	(135)
		Researchers in Britain to build 1830s Babbage Analytical Engine to answer the question: Did an eccentric mathematician named Charles Babbage conceive the first programmable computer?  (nytimes.com)	(72)
		Proving that the long and dark scandinavian nights are REALLY boring, Norway and Finland now arguing about "their" Northern Lights  (spiegel.de)	(57)
		Picture of the Rhine river sells at auction for a record $4.3 million, or roughly 10 times what it would have cost to buy the land and build a house on it with a giant picture window overlooking the same scene  (news.yahoo.com)	(170)
		What is the strangest food craving you have ever had? Did you give in to your cravings? Last night, subby drank about a fourth of a bottle of Italian dressing because it sounded good  (fark.com)	(657)
		Syrian troops learn a little military lesson called "Custer's Last Stand" when the protesters fight back  (msnbc.msn.com)	(97)
(gold coast)		Australian police search for topless woman driving erratically, causing accidents. Dozens of cops hoping to be in on the bust  (goldcoast.com.au)	(15)
		Judge upset that prosecutors asked for disgraced politician to get the same sentence as a normal citizen would  (philly.com)	(40)

		You know you're out of luck when... c) a giant killer owl plunges from the sky and eats your dog  (metro.co.uk)	(121)
(NME)		Queen: "We've endured because we speak for common people." That, and Brian May saved the life of a brain-damaged hedgehog  (nme.com)	(69)
		Another foot washes up on Canadian coast, bringing total to nearly three metres  (msnbc.msn.com)	(61)
		Arizona city Mayor tells Prince Harry "No fornicating" in his Christian town.......like he is gonna listen  (metronews.ca)	(179)
(Some Guy)		While you were sleeping, the Australian stock market lost $37 billion because of Europe's economic crisis  (couriermail.com.au)	(127)
(Some RageGuy)		Octogenarian creates the most amazing RageComic you will read, ever  (s3.amazonaws.com)	(255)

		Megan Fox finally realizes she married Brian Austin Green, spotted in L.A. yesterday without her wedding ring  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(70)
		Canadian X-ray to get its ass to Mars  (cnews.canoe.ca)	(5)
		The game show host from "Slumdog Millionaire" to play Indian Jack Bauer. OH MY GOODNESS, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF THE TIME  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(68)
		If you don't think this is the greatest Russian anchorman fail ever, subby will fight you. That's no lie  (shortlist.com)	(18)
		Russian probe to Mars comes up 47,399,950 miles short  (news.yahoo.com)	(83)

(Blog for Democracy)		I mean, say what you like about the tenets of libertarianism, Dude, at least it's an ethos  (blogfordemocracy.org)	(245)
(Some Guy)		Canadian "Loch Ness Monster" caught on video. Unless you are one of those weirdos who believes in logs  (lifeslittlemysteries.com)	(87)
(Some Guy)		UFO researchers downgrade Colombian UFO from "contact with extraterrestrial civilizations" to "really cool kite"  (colombiareports.com)	(10)
(KOLD - Tucson)		Number of men living with their parents in the U.S. has jumped from "moderate" to "Italian"  (kold.com)	(146)
		Because all of Michigan's problems have been solved, isn't it about time for a bill requiring the pledge of allegiance for all students?   (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)	(120)
		Unexpected effect of global warming: The rise of giant birds  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(62)

(Politifact)		Asinine: Democratic politician claims the United States is closing factories at a rate of 15/day over the last decade. Scary: She's right  (politifact.com)	(181)
		Cain denies sexual harassment allegations from fourth woman, even if it does make him look positively Clintonian  (suntimes.com)	(235)
		Will Brian Pillman v Curt Hennig be an all time classic? Will Bryan Adams defeat the Public Enemy in a handicap match? Will Bam Bam get the drop on Benoit this week? This is your WCW Monday Nitro thread  (fark.com)	(1326)
(ktvb.com)		Three Austrians accused of poaching elk. Dude, you're supposed to grill it on the barbie  (ktvb.com)	(45)
		Heralding what could be a new unit of measurement for incarceration around the world, Nigerian actor released from prison after 25 successful bowel movements  (iheartchaos.com)	(59)
		Canadian Security Intelligence Service could soon be allowed to spy overseas, which is bad news for the people running Iran's secret maple syrup reactors   (fullcomment.nationalpost.com)	(30)
		After 10 years, SNL finally hits one out of the chapel with their send up of the Kardashian divorce (w/video)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(65)

		"If [LSU-Alabama] was The Game of the Century, then I want my 100 years back...these two teams deserve a BCS championship rematch like Kim Kardashian deserves to keep her wedding gifts"  (espn.go.com)	(267)
		UN atomic agency to reveal proof of Iranian nuclear warhead work. EVERYBODY PANIC IN A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER  (nydailynews.com)	(141)

		Police see no need to check data recorder from car wrecked by politician in early morning accident  (bostonherald.com)	(76)
		NY Giants' David Tyree relives his famous helmet reception in Super Bowl XLII. Yeah ...it's a catch 42  (nypost.com)	(42)

		Kim Kardashian: "Obviously, there will come a point where we don't want to film our show anymore." It's not world peace, but I'll take it  (showbizspy.com)	(27)
		Kim Kardashian's mom in heap big trouble for using the term "Indian giver"  (celebitchy.com)	(130)
		Canadian accounting rules force insurers to take losses, even though those same insurers would be profitable if they were American  (theglobeandmail.com)	(56)
(Some Guy)		"Let's play Cowboys and Iranians" poster at restaurant causing a bit of a stir  (abclocal.go.com)	(193)
		NBA players continue to keep busy during lockout by playing in college scrimmages, working out at local gyms, marrying & divorcing Kardashians  (tsn.ca)	(19)
		Russian officials are about to open up the hatch to a windowless cell that's been sealed for 520-days as part of a simulaton to Mars. How much you wanna bet all they find the crew all dead and a slug-like alien crawling around inside?  (mnn.com)	(76)
		Iranian soccer players face 74 lashes after celebrating ending a losing streak with a televised UFIA w/ pic  (smh.com.au)	(65)
		It's wonderful to be out on a surfboard on a beautiful day UNTIL THE GIANT FARKING WHALES ATTACK  (liveleak.com)	(37)
		Canadian politician tells joke about calling a suicide hotline whose call center was in Pakistan, saying they asked him if he could drive a truck. Apparently, some people have a problem with this  (cbc.ca)	(114)
		A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away a Star Wars fan killed his smoking hot Asian wife for smashing up his toy collection  (mirror.co.uk)	(314)

		It's your yearly flock of starlings behaving like a single weird giant organism video  (liveleak.com)	(27)
		Kim Kardashian: "I'm so distraught, I can't function." So, she can't do nothing? You mean that she's actually going to be productive? Man, this IS serious  (tmz.com)	(43)
		Here's proof that politicians who say corporations pay the highest amount of taxes are, in fact, lying  (salon.com)	(256)
		City of Calgary tolerates Communists violating bylaws, but has no problem prosecuting heroic Christians for same infractions  (life.nationalpost.com)	(99)
		Salman Rushdie comes out of hiding to mock the shiat out of Kim Kardashian  (nydailynews.com)	(32)
		Man leads Canadian cops in five-hour pursuit where "neither the truck driver nor police broke highway speed limits"  (cbc.ca)	(33)
		Why "Now That's What I Call Music 11" is one man's most favoritest album ever. All the bite and brilliance of NTWICM 9, none of the filler of NTWICM 65  (guardian.co.uk)	(54)
		Old news: Norwegian soccer player hits 62-yard header for a goal. New news: Japanese soccer player hits 63-yard header for a goal  (sports.yahoo.com)	(22)

		Russian and Chinese companies most likely to bribe. In other news, Unlikely tag seen driving a new Audi R8  (bbc.co.uk)	(12)
		Romanian cabinet minister poses in PVC dress for magazine cover  (dailymail.co.uk)	(57)
		When you're a federal police officer and your suspects are seconds from escaping in an airplane, maybe it's time to admit defeat. Unless you're Brazilian. Then you just ram the airplane  (youtube.com)	(46)
		Kim Kardashian's divorce mourned by hipsters at Dash store vigil. Actually, "mourned" might be the wrong word here, but just run with it  (buzzfeed.com)	(46)
		Kelly Osbourne's most embarrassing moment was discovering her fiance was cheating with a tranny. To be fair, you can understand his confusion  (uk.omg.yahoo.com)	(70)
		Japan: "Damaged reactors could take 30 years to retire" Americans: "That whole mess is still going on? Sheesh, we're a little pre-occupied over here with the Kardashian melt-down, okay? Try to keep up  (articles.cnn.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Kim Kardashian upset by 'sham marriage' slurs. In other news, O.J. still maintains his innocence  (heraldsun.com.au)	(93)

		Internet privacy tools failing. Also, dude, you need to go easy on the Kim Kardashian videos  (upi.com)	(18)
		While millions of Americans are out of work, Congress is furiously busy passing a law that shoves Christianity into your face everywhere you look  (crooksandliars.com)	(198)
		Patriots receiver Julian Edelman goes full Roethlisberger. You never go full Roethlisberger man  (boston.com)	(204)
(Billings Gazette)		Today's fully Fark-compliant headline: "Man admits switchblade assault in squirrel dispute"  (billingsgazette.com)	(28)
		Some guy attempts to interview Brian Wilson, and it goes just as you would expect  (starpulse.com)	(31)
		Iranian football federation suspends soccer players for celebrating a goal in an "immoral" manner: a fanny pat. Subby thinks it really should depend on the Persian doing it  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(12)
		Magician demands AirTran make $50,000 appear because the wouldn't let him carry his dove on the aircraft  (twincities.com)	(34)
		Two Russian girls switched at birth to live next door to each other without exchanging parents  (english.pravda.ru)	(39)

		If you guessed two months in the office pool for how long Kim Kardashian's big ass wedding with Kris Humphries was going to last, step up and claim your prize  (content.usatoday.com)	(168)
(Some Guy)		FBI releases videos, papers on Russian spy ring. "Following her return to Russia, she worked as a model and became the celebrity face of a Moscow bank"  (610wiod.com)	(61)
		Female couple named nation's first same-sex HS homecoming king and queen; proving that either we are entering a brave new word of increased tolerance and acceptance, or simply reaffirming the age-old truth that HS boys find lesbians hot  (news.yahoo.com)	(321)
		Brazilian soccer commentators aren't passionate about the most beautiful game in the world  (youtube.com)	(30)
(DNA India)		Indian scientists announce successful creation of lab-grown cumulus clouds in Operation Schleprock  (dnaindia.com)	(15)
		After receiving racy email photos from a fan, soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo confuses 'delete' and 'forward'. Hilarity ensues  (dailymail.co.uk)	(17)
		Kim Kardashian dresses as Poison Ivy for Halloween. That's appropriate, since Kim *can* leave you with a terrible itch  (people.com)	(36)

		Giant laser would be strong enough 'to tear the fabric of space.' What could possibly go wrong?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(49)
		Mission still not accomplished: U.S. plans post-Iraq troop increase in Persian Gulf including new combat forces in Kuwait capable of re-invading Iraq just as soon as their government collapses  (nytimes.com)	(337)
		None of these fine Christians could possibly be gay. We have it on paper  (ajc.com)	(148)
(Vancouver Sun)		Canadians work to build an institution to provide a secure place for crazy women. Apparently they haven't heard of marriage  (vancouversun.com)	(17)
		Will the Broncos' Christian be sacrificed to the Lions? Can the Colts manage to lose by less than 60 points? Who will the Cowboys pitch it to with Tashard Choice gone? It's the NFL Week 8 thread (games begin at 1 PM ET on Fox and CBS)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		Paul McCartney to pay for restoration of Motown piano played by Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Temptations. Tells museum he just couldn't let it be  (detnews.com)	(22)
		Man held in Egyptian prison told Mets won 2011 series. FARK: He believed it  (espn.go.com)	(22)
(Some Tilke)		Break out the dust masks, it's the Formula 1 Indian Grand Prix at the latest Tilkedrome, where everyone flying off turn 6. In a shocking development, Sebastian Vettel is on the pole. Coverage starts at 2 AM ET  (motorsport.com)	(84)

		James Carville rates Rick Perry's campaign performance: "It's gotten so bad, people in Louisiana are actually starting to make Texas jokes...If this thing gets any worse, the people in Mississippi will be making Texas jokes"  (cnn.com)	(105)
		"Mastermind" behind Jersey Shore to start another show featuring unethical, fakely tanned, drug addicted, sexual deviants  (wtop.com)	(32)

		Are you 28, speak Mandarin, right-handed, own a cell phone, don't have a car or bank account, Christian, and make less than $12K/year? Congratulations. You're typical  (npr.org)	(77)
		Comedian Mario Cantone marries his partner of 20 years. FABULOUS  (people.com)	(33)
		Canadian senator calls on country to dump "dentally defective rat" known as a beaver from national symbols and replace it with land shark known as a polar bear  (canada.com)	(117)
		Virginia GOP admits she had lesbian affair with minor; "Liberals and weed made me do it"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(238)
		News: Muslim college students are shocked ... SHOCKED ... that they are surrounded symbols of Christianity. Fark: At Catholic University  (radio.foxnews.com)	(356)
		Actual Headline: "Satanic lesbian launches bid for freedom"  (nzherald.co.nz)	(71)

		Two gay men become transgender lesbians, then become legally married after one of them gets a sex change. The Aristocrats  (dailymail.co.uk)	(215)
		Things that will haunt your nightmares forever: Callista Gingrich holding a giant axe  (iheartchaos.com)	(80)
		Indianapolis Colts team president Bill Polian defends Jim Caldwell from criticism and, in doing so, reveals to Peyton fanboys that the team actually isn't "everybody from last year except Peyton"  (espn.go.com)	(38)
		Indian fashion models caught "heightening"  (news.yahoo.com)	(100)
		A point of contention at The Clan of the Barbarian as to whether or not they were the first permitted sadomasochism club in the state, is offset by becoming the fist sadomasochism club in the state to be stripped of its permit by the city  (stltoday.com)	(36)
		Some conspiracy theorists have a problem with the "Asian chicks are so limber that they can tie their hands and feet together and then hang themselves" reasoning in Zahu suicide finding  (abcnews.go.com)	(92)
(NCRM)		Australian MP demands that gays stop the heterophobic attacks on him and his values of traditional marriage, and to stop trying to impose their own values on him. Man, the Onion always kills me...wait, it's not the Onion?   (thenewcivilrightsmovement.com)	(52)
		Comedian Patrice O'Neal suffers stroke, making his stand-up act marginally more difficult to understand  (nj.com)	(81)
		NYPD discovers surprise cure for lesbianism...pepper spray  (m.dailymail.co.uk)	(204)
(Some Guy)		Will you shed your label conservative or liberal and replace it with Constitutionalist? Will you pledge your allegiance to the dual federalism of the Constitution, all the time, every time, every vote...no exceptions?  (forgottenmen.com)	(144)
		Computer glitch shuts down Australian stock market. This might take awhile  (smh.com.au)	(10)

		Giant amoeba found living in dark wet trench that surprisingly wasn't your mom's  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)		Coolest pictures of the 1911 Australasian Antarctic Expedition you will see all day (warning: slideshow)  (flavorwire.com)	(39)
		Russian bear laid hands on Teutonic footballer  (thelocal.de)	(6)
		Obama likens GOP presidential race to 'Survivor'; Cain taxes 1 of every 9 coconuts, Romney frequently changes alliances, Bachmann is good at building tax shelters, and Santorum wants to vote out the token gay guy  (news.yahoo.com)	(55)
		Indianapolis Colts place Kerry Collins, entire coaching staff on injured reserve  (indystar.com)	(52)
		Last Polish Battle of Britain pilot dies. He was credited with 3 Luftwaffe kills, 1 Distinguished Flying Cross and 2 giant brass perogies  (news.yahoo.com)	(125)
		Pope Benedict XVI has invited Jews, Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims to a pilgrimage at the Umbrian hilltop town of Assisi, but refuses to take part in common prayers since nobody else speaks vampire  (hosted.ap.org)	(47)
(Some Guy)		Christian radio host warns parents that lesbian nurses will make their kids gay  (wisconsingazette.com)	(198)

		No need to panic quite yet, but a dormant Bolivian super volcano is now inflating at a rate not seen in the modern era  (news.yahoo.com)	(185)
(Some Lego man)		Another day, another giant Lego man washes up on the beach  (wtsp.com)	(50)
		Leonardo Dicaprio dating Romanian model Madalina Diana Ghenea. I don't know what he sees in her. She's barely one of the most attractive women I've seen in my entire life  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(125)
(Winnipeg Free Press)		Illuminati symbols on American currency? Canadians up the ante by finding sex toys, naked women and secret codes on their new bills  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(101)

		Washington politicians dueling via Twitter hashtags. Your government at work  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(38)
		60-year-old musician sues for age discrimination after he's denied entry into "young artists" competition. Fark: He now wants 88-year-old judge dismissed from his case because he's too old  (nydailynews.com)	(29)
(Some Cheesehead)		Wisconsin town wants to ban cyclists and pedestrians from using public roads unless they register their travel plans in advance. In other news, there's a place in Wisconsin where people are fit enough to bike or walk  (articles.businessinsider.com)	(151)
		Ian Brown + Speed = guilty  (contactmusic.com)	(17)
		The New Orleans Saints score 62 points in thrashing the hapless Indianapolis Colts. The St. Louis Rams have scored 56 points total this season. Next week, the Saints play the Rams. That's the joke  (sports.espn.go.com)	(150)

		Italian rider Marco Simoncelli goes full-Wheldon. You never go full-Wheldon  (usatoday.com)	(34)
		Republican politican makes anti-gay slur attacks against a gay candidate. No wait the politician was a democrat and the gay guy was a republican. OK, nothing to see here, move along  (reason.com)	(180)

		How can you make a Tyler Perry production even worse? Add a Kardashian  (huffingtonpost.com)	(50)
		Stop me if you've heard this before: A male Republican politician has just been accused of paying a male escort for sex  (huffingtonpost.com)	(114)
		A country whose budget is balanced, where politicians aren't corrupt, where you can trust the police? If you guessed Estonia, you were right  (spiegel.de)	(80)
		Ex-governor Mark Sanford joins Fox News, promises that he'll never abandon it for a younger, hotter, Argentinian network  (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)	(49)
		Median wage in the U.S. now $26,000. Sounds about right for panhandling in the middle of a freeway  (washingtonpost.com)	(411)

		Half of Indian women are anemic. That's weak  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)	(106)
		Purity of Australian English sullied by weird sports Americanisms like "thrown a curveball," "struck out", and "hit a home run." Fortunately, Aussies will always own the five-letter word for an outhouse  (smh.com.au)	(53)
		Kim Kardashian thought that marriage was a magic wand that would "fix" Kris Humphries. And now, if you'll please be quiet, Kim really wants to understand this episode of "Sesame Street"  (celebitchy.com)	(84)
		A Georgia mayoral candidate decided that just because he's a thief doesn't mean he shouldn't still run for office. After all, he IS a politician  (ajc.com)	(19)
(Some Reality TV Mutants)		Rob Kardashian on Obama's dismissal of his show: "You really learn a lot from our show"  (digitalspy.com)	(34)
		DNA Clearinghouse receives giant novelty check for $6.5 million, 14 years of unwanted magazine subscriptions  (physorg.com)	(4)

		Meanwhile, in Canada, Conservative politicians make an "It Gets Better" video  (cbc.ca)	(88)
		Seriously, Uncharted is Indiana Jones. Can't we all just admit it?  (g4tv.com)	(49)
		Microsoft and Canada Pension Plan preparing to buy Yahoo, see Canadians working until 90  (canada.com)	(12)
		The SSA has released the official statistic of the median American wage in 2010: $26,363.55  (washingtonpost.com)	(265)
		People who cherish the American value of liberty over the left-wing value of socioeconomic equality, and those who adhere to Judeo-Christian values, do not regard the existence of economic classes as morally problematic  (nationalreview.com)	(152)
(Some Guy)		French politician invites 13,000 Twitter followers to bed. Message meant for wife. Probably  (thelocal.fr)	(24)
		Today's Melbourne weather forecast: Balmy with a strong chance of GIANT SNAKES  (news.com.au)	(34)
		Having a wife AND a mistress was a challenge, admits politician whose wife stole a kitten from his mistress. And if you see the pics, you'll understand why  (dailymail.co.uk)	(132)
		Finally, something the Right can agree with Obama on - children should not be exposed to the Kardashians  (dailymail.co.uk)	(53)
		What do Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Al Sharpton and Gary Bauer all have in common? They still have open presidential committees that owe money to creditors  (politico.com)	(18)

(Some Guy)		The worst acting performances turned in by musicians. No Mariah, no Madonna. WTF is this?  (spectrumculture.com)	(119)
(Some Guy)		Ebay, I mean, Louisiana law makes it illegal to buy second hand goods with cash  (klfy.com)	(281)
		Scholarly feud over the existence of faster-than-light neutrinos and the purported death of Keynsian theory forces cancellation of DC college information fair  (washingtonpost.com)	(31)
		"Some of us have consistently opposed these trillion-dollar handouts and redistributions of wealth for years and held politicians in BOTH parties accountable" and it wasn't the Occupy Wall Street movement  (michellemalkin.com)	(203)

(Some Guy)		What do a lawnmower, unauthorized hedge trimming, after dark traffic blockage, and a 0.312 DWI have in common? South Louisiana  (fox8live.com)	(11)
(Topless Robot)		The 10 coolest Fisher-Price Little People playsets. Yes, the one in which a giant hamburger can eat Ronald McDonald is here  (toplessrobot.com)	(46)
		Russian governor offers $17,000 for a bald chipmunk. Wow, waxing is really pricey in Russia  (english.pravda.ru)	(14)
		Russian movie posters celebrate the underrated joy of completely heinous art  (shortlist.com)	(15)
		Ian McShane talks about swapping music with that c*cksucker Johnny Depp and the possible return of motherfarking Deadwood  (insidemovies.ew.com)	(45)
		Possibly the most important invention in modern history will be successfully tested on October 28, or the world will join together in one giant Ha Ha  (forbes.com)	(261)
		Firefighter catches boy dropped from window, is instantly hired by the Indianapolis Colts  (news.com.au)	(21)

		Okay, network television, now you're just trolling us. June Raphael cast as Zooey Deschanel's lesbian gynecologist  (insidetv.ew.com)	(41)
(Rhymes with Montreal Gazette)		"If you start breaking Christians up into their smaller groups, non-believers come close to being the dominant religion, if you can call no religion a religion. That's like calling not collecting stamps a hobby"  (montrealgazette.com)	(225)
		L'Oreal billionaire Liliane Bettencourt loses control of her heir  (bbc.co.uk)	(38)

Australian drinking establishments turn to rubber sidewalks to reduce injuries. Kentucky soon to pave entire state with rubber  (poconorecord.com)

(39)

Saturday "Save the Admins some time" motorsports discussion thread. Will Ron Hornaday beat Sebastian Vettel into the first turn, or Will Lewis Hamilton wreck Tony Stewart? Trucks at 3:30 PM ET, Cup at 7:30 PM, and F1 at 1:30 AM  (nascar.com)

(889)